I Gave My Pain to God — Everything Changed with Christine D'Clairo

Summary

Podcast Summary: Change Your Brain Every Day

Episode: I Gave My Pain to God — Everything Changed with Christine D’Clario
Hosts: Dr. Daniel Amen, Tana Amen
Guest: Christine D’Clario
Date: May 11, 2026

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Overview & Main Theme

This episode features renowned Christian singer-songwriter Christine D’Clario, who openly shares her journey through severe postpartum depression, trauma, and mental health healing. Joined by Dr. Daniel Amen, they explore the intersections between science and faith, how trauma shapes the mind, the role of community and therapy, and practical strategies for mental wellness. The candid discussion dismantles stigma around mental illness—especially in faith communities—and emphasizes integrating spiritual practice with evidence-based mental health care.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Disconnect Between Faith & Mental Health

• Christine’s Mission ([05:05])
  • Christine shares her struggle to reconcile faith and mental healthcare, questioning why the church and science are often at odds when both emphasize the importance of renewing the mind.
  • “Why can't science and faith cohabitate and glorify the Lord together as opposed to being at odds with each other?” – Christine D’Clario ([05:36])
• Dr. Amen’s Perspective ([06:00])
  • Dr. Amen discusses how faith has never conflicted with his scientific training and encourages viewing humans as integrated beings: biological, psychological, social, and spiritual.

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2. Christine’s Postpartum Depression Journey

• Onset and Symptoms ([08:24])
  • Christine recounts her steep decline into postpartum depression despite having healthy children and feeling shamed by her sadness.
  • “I had no good terms for what I was going through... I was so stigmatized.” – Christine D’Clario ([09:01])
• Role of Community and Therapy ([10:24])
  • Her midwife’s intervention and a faith-based but scientifically trained therapist were crucial to her recovery.
• Holistic Approach First ([12:08])
  • Therapy prioritized basics like sleep, nutrition, and hydration before considering medication. Fixing basics erased her suicidal urge within two weeks.
  • “Within two weeks I didn't have the urge to commit suicide anymore. So that was a plus.” – Christine ([13:10])
• Family Healing ([13:54])
  • Therapy extended to her husband and their relationship, uncovering and addressing his trauma and underlying family dynamics.

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3. Traumatic Childhood & Complex Grief

• Early Traumas ([19:40])
  • Christine discloses surviving childhood sexual abuse, her father’s terminal illness and death, rapid family changes, bullying, and lifelong struggles with belonging.
  • “I felt like the rug had been slipped from under me. And it. Nobody ever put it back.” – Christine ([20:26])
• Cultural & Racial Identity ([21:28])
  • Navigating her bi-racial identity added to her sense of disconnect.
• The ‘Mother Thought’ of Suffering ([22:43])
  • Dr. Amen links her sense of “I am less than” to a root cause of suffering—amplified today by comparison on social media.

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4. Suppressed Rage, Forgiveness, and Emotional Integration

• Unlocking Suppressed Trauma ([27:49])
  • The discovery of a suppressed memory of childhood rape resurfaced, forcing Christine to face feelings of being "damaged goods."
• Sitting with Rage ([31:00])
  • Her therapist instructed her to allow herself to feel rage, reframing anger as a valid, God-given emotion that shouldn’t be suppressed.
  • “Rage is wrong.”
    “So are you calling God wrong?” – Christine’s therapist ([32:13])
• Transformation through Processing Emotions ([33:35])
  • Sitting with rage led to breakthroughs and self-understanding.
  • “You need to sit with what hurts so you know exactly where it is.” – Christine ([34:27])

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5. ADHD, Neurodiversity, and Brain Science

• Neurodivergence: Trauma vs. Wiring ([35:53], [36:17])
  • Dr. Amen examines whether Christine’s ADHD-like tendencies stem from trauma or innate wiring.
• Classic ADD Traits ([37:23])
  • Hyperactivity, difficulty with stillness, focus dependent on interest, and overwhelming organizational issues.
  • “Everything catches my attention at all times. I am constant. There's two people in my brain at all times.” – Christine ([37:23])
• Dyslexia/Irlen Syndrome ([39:04], [72:28])
  • Christine describes visual processing issues, and Dr. Amen suggests screening for Irlen Syndrome, which can mimic or exacerbate ADHD symptoms.

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6. Intergenerational Impact & Suicide Prevention

• Generational Consequences ([16:34], [18:06])
  • Dr. Amen explains to Christine (and listeners) how parental suicide raises the risk for children and how understanding this can disrupt destructive patterns.
  • “You would have gifted your children a 500% increased risk of them killing themselves.” – Dr. Amen ([17:05])

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7. Addressing Negative Thoughts

• Ants: Automatic Negative Thoughts ([77:33])
  • Dr. Amen teaches using Byron Katie’s method to question painful thoughts:
    • Is it true?
    • Is it absolutely true?
    • How does it make me feel?
    • How would I be without the thought?
    • What’s the opposite of the thought?
  • Example: “I’ll fail as a mom” → “I am a good mom.”
• Suffering Through ‘Gap Thinking’ ([85:30])
  • Dr. Amen encourages “gain” mindset over chronic dissatisfaction: measuring progress backwards, not against an ever-moving ideal.
  • “Peace is here and joy. Suffering is here. So for me, I was in the gap so much of my life.” – Dr. Amen ([85:29])

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8. Brain Imaging, Biology, and Holistic Assessment

• Christine’s Brain Scan ([68:59]–[71:47])
  • Despite a challenging trauma history, Christine’s brain scans show it is mostly healthy, with some busy emotional centers and patterns consistent with ADHD and sensory sensitivity.
  • “You have a beautiful brain... at least for the next 20 years, you're not getting Alzheimer's disease.” – Dr. Amen ([69:30])
• Importance of Lifestyle ([50:21])
  • Dr. Amen reviews his BRIGHT MINDS framework: Blood flow, Retirement & Aging, Inflammation, Genetics, Head Trauma, Toxins, and more, tailoring recommendations for Christine.
  • “Getting healthy is worship. Transform your mind, and then your relationships are better.” – Dr. Amen ([53:29])
• Natural Mood Interventions ([59:20])
  • Suggests “Happy Saffron” supplement for mood support, referencing research on saffron as effective and without the side effects of antidepressants.

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9. Practical Strategies & Tools

• Daily Mindset Practices ([67:00])
  • Start each day: “Today is going to be a great day.”
  • End each day: “What went well today?”
• Naming Your Mind ([70:24])
  • Assign a name to “the voice in your head,” separating identity from thoughts.
• Delegation and Support ([65:16])
  • Encourages those with executive dysfunction or overwhelm to delegate administrative tasks and focus on strengths.
• One Page Miracle & The Gain vs Gap Approach ([84:26], [85:30])
  • Write down your life goals and daily ask: “Does it fit?”

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10. Parenting, Boundaries, and Modeling Resilience

• Don’t Steal Kids’ Self-Esteem by Overdoing ([79:22])
  • Dr. Amen: “When you do too much for your children, you increase your self-esteem by stealing theirs.”
• Firm & Kind Parenting ([82:13])
  • Strive for boundaries that teach competence, not driven by anxiety.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sitting with Pain:
  “You need to sit with what hurts so that when you ask the Lord, ‘How am I going to fix this?’ And then he brings people and resources into your life, you don't reject it.”
  – Christine D’Clario ([00:00], [34:27])

• On Faith & Science:
  “I've never really understood why science and faith can’t cohabitate and glorify the Lord together.”
  – Christine ([05:36])

• On the Power of Therapy:
  “I had done a lot of spiritual work, but I had forgotten... we have to be integrated in all of our parts.”
  – Christine ([10:57])

• On Rage and Healing:
  “Rage is not the problem. The problem is where it needs to be.”
  – Christine’s therapist ([32:34])

• On Internal Dialogue:
  “Just because I have a thought has nothing to do with whether or not it’s true.”
  – Dr. Amen ([71:04])

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Important Timestamps

• Intersecting Faith & Science: [05:00]–[07:50]
• Christine’s PPD Story: [08:24]–[13:54]
• Family/Relationship Healing: [13:54]–[16:34]
• Generational Impact of Suicide: [16:34]–[18:29]
• Early Traumas & Identity: [19:40]–[22:35]
• Suppressed Rage Therapy: [31:00]–[34:27]
• ADD/ADHD Exploration: [37:23]–[42:16]
• Impulse control/rage incident: [42:50]–[44:39]
• Irlen Syndrome & Sensory Sensitivity: [39:04], [72:48]
• Brain Health & Imaging: [68:00]–[72:06]
• Practical Mental Health Exercises: [77:33]–[85:30]
• Parenting & Boundaries: [79:22]–[82:56]

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Tone & Language

Both hosts and guest speak with candor, humility, and compassion, blending clinical knowledge, personal testimony, and spiritual reflection. The episode’s tone is practical and empowering, seeking to reduce stigma and present hope through holistic healing.

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For Listeners New to the Show

You’ll find a rich, deeply relatable conversation about trauma, healing, faith, and understanding the brain—offering both insight and immediate strategies, whether you struggle personally or are supporting others on the journey.

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(End of Summary)

Transcript

[Christine DeClario]

The Bible says you ask and you don't receive because you ask wrong, because you just don't know what to ask for. You need to sit with what hurts so that when you ask the Lord, how am I going to fix this? And then he brings people and resources into your life, you don't reject it. Whenever I'm out of character, I have to go and sit with it.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Christine declario is a Christian singer, songwriter

[Christine DeClario]

and worship leader known for her unfiltered honesty.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Dr. Amen and Christine discuss the power of religion and how it can help heal your trauma.

[Christine DeClario]

Most people will not enter the doors of an expert because they're too afraid of what they're going to hear and feeling that they have failed in some way to get there.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

It's the repressed rage that comes out in panic attacks, anxiety, eating disorders, which

[Christine DeClario]

is exactly where I was. The lesson I learned in it when I came back was

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

every day you are making your brain better or you are making it worse. Stay with us to learn how you can change your brain for the better every day. Are you excited to optimize your brain and help the brains of those you love? Do you want to prevent or treat memory problems, anxiety or depression? Do you want to be happier? That's why I created Amen University to take what I've learned over the last 45 years and help you have a better brain, a better mind and a better body. You can take courses like our 30 day happiness challenge, which was shown in research to increase happiness by 32% in just 30 days, or memory Rescue or Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, trauma and Grief or Healing Add at home and in 30 days and much more. We also have professional courses and courses for kids, including brain thrive by 25, which was found in independent research to decrease depression and improve self esteem. And as a special offer just for our listeners, you can save 20% on your next course. Visit amenuniversity.com and use the code PODCAST20 Christine Declario is a bilingual worship leader songwriter. She's introduced to me by Danny Goki. I Love. She's an author whose powerful voice and authenticity have impacted millions worldwide. Known for passionate worship and honesty about her mental health journey, which we're going to talk about, Christine bridges the gap between spiritual devotion and emotional honesty. Her music has garnered hundreds of millions of streams as she's led worship across Latin America, the US and beyond. Known for her powerful songs such as on her albums Eterno Live or La Novia, Christine inspires healing across cultures. Her album all that Remains Hosta Podu Bear was born from her journey through postpartum depression and led to the launch of the Christine declario Foundation. Her newest book, Healing in the Desert, went available nationwide on March 3, 2026. So welcome.

[Christine DeClario]

Thank you. I can't believe I'm here. I've been watching this show for a while.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Well, thank you so much. And, you know, we were just chatting about your postpartum depression and anxiety and almost led to psychosis. So it was pretty serious. And being in the church, you wonder, how do I balance?

[Christine DeClario]

Yes.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And I went to medical school at Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I loved it. It's a Christian university, so I got to learn medicine in the context of my faith. And there was still that tension.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

In fact, when I told Oral Roberts I wanted to be a psychiatrist, he got mad at me, really. Like, I didn't create a medical school to crave more psychiatrist because there's that tension between evangelical Christianity and mental health. Yes. Even though there shouldn't be.

[Christine DeClario]

I'm on a mission to find out where did the crack start that made the church or communities of faith be divorced from the issues of the mind when there are so many instances? One of the most admonished issues in the Bible is, renew your mind, take care of your mind, watch out what you think. Be intentional about meditating on this. Don't think about that. Focus on this. You will. You'll have peace when you focus on this and not that. And for some reason, and I'm one. One of the reasons why I'm here is to investigate, okay. Why can't science and faith cohabitate and glorify the Lord together as opposed to being at odds with each other. I've never really understood why.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Well, and me neither, in the sense that, you know, graduating from college and medical school. And I'm also a child psychiatrist and an adult psychiatrist. Nothing I have learned in science have. Has undermined my faith. In fact, it is always strengthened.

[Christine DeClario]

Correct.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah. And because if you think we're here by random chance, the odds of that happening, that you and I have eye contact and we have a relationship and that all that doesn't follow the second law of physics, which is entropy. Things go from order to disorder. So it's never bothered me. But I think the problem was Freud. And because Freud and others have called religion the opiate of the masses. Yeah. And many people have over medicalized science and psychiatry. And, you know, if they say your faith is a crutch, well, faith is not going to be very Happy with that. And but for me it makes sense. We're all whole people. We have a biology, we have a psychology, we have a social circle and we have a soul, we have a spiritual circle. And all four work together all the time. So what I learned at ORU and it's what I believe day in and day out.

[Christine DeClario]

And I mean it's. If you eat from the scientific standpoint, a person that's in a bed but is brain dead is considered dead even though everything else else is functioning. From the spiritual standpoint, a person that does not surrender their mind along with everything else to the Lord is in essence dead. So I really want to find that happy medium where we can, where we can all glorify the Lord with our gifts. And it doesn't have to be, well, science is not God or God is not science. I think science evidences that God is great.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

This isn't by random chance.

[Christine DeClario]

Absolutely not.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

The world has a creative design, God and our belief. But you still have a brain.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah. And it needs care.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

You can have a baby or you can have a miscarriage and all of a sudden your hormones get out of balance and even if you or walking closely with God, you can want to kill yourself.

[Christine DeClario]

Right. And that was my case through and through.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So tell me the story and why you think we met.

[Christine DeClario]

Okay. So 2018, at my six week appointment, I was being discharged by my midwives. Everything was functioning perfectly with my body. I had just pushed out a nine pound baby and my body had healed beautifully. Within two weeks I was jumping up and down on a stage like nothing ever happened. But I felt issues with my brain. But there was a lot of shame attached to not understanding what was going on with my mind and feeling things that were wrong. According to my faith based formation, being sad all the time when I had two beautiful miracles because I couldn't have kids, I got healed by the Lord, had two. I finally have them in my arms, but I'm feeling sad all the time. And then that sadness turned into a sense of self loathing because I thought that I was being the biggest ingrate. I was supposed to be happy. Why was I sad? And then slowly hopelessness came in because I was like, okay, this cracked me somehow and I don't think I'm ever going to be the person that I was. So my kids are going to be raised by a crazy woman. I was so stigmatized. I had no good terms for what I was going through. And so then the, the thought of suicide came in and I embraced it because I Thought it was the only solution to be able to care for my children. Well, if I was removed from their life permanently. And it wasn't me, the damaged one, that was raising them. Glory to God, he intervened. And my midwife, who was highly discerning and very smart woman, she figured out something was going on in great part because she went through it and she was able to figure out the small little micro signs. And she did an intervention on me, took me to therapy. And it was in therapy that I started learning about my brain. I had done a lot of spiritual work, but I had forgotten that I was faith based. I was a faith leader, household name for a lot of people. And I had forgotten that we have to be integrated in all of our parts. I mean, the greatest commandment is love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and others as yourself. Well, I wasn't loving myself because I wasn't taking good care of myself, Taking care of everybody, but not me. And the mind part was something that I just simply was oblivious to. Not because I wanted to. It's just because I was. I wasn't taught that it was a thing that I needed to take care of. And so my therapist, who is very strong in her faith but also brilliant at the brain, started slowly, you know, giving me seeds that I was able to cultivate into learning. And I have adhd, so I hyper focus, and I love rabbit holes. So when I had a question about something, I would just deep dive into. Okay. She mentions the word trauma a lot. What is trauma? So how. How. What is. Why is my body responding this way? And so just trying to figure myself out what happens when I think about this a lot. Oh, what's. What's neuroplasticity? Then I learned about Dr. Caroline Leaf and switch on your brain. And I read that book and devoured it in, like, four days. And I learned about neuroplasticity for the first time. Okay, so this actually does align with what the word of God says about our mind. So there's more to this than simply going to the doctor and getting checked out and maybe leaving with an antidepressant.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

There is more, because most midwives, most psychiatrists, they'd go, you're depressed. Take an ssri, right? And it's way more complicated.

[Christine DeClario]

Way more complicated. I'm grateful that my therapist was able to mitigate my crisis with the basics. First. She said, we're not going to discard the possible need for medication, but first I need you to go to the basics. Let's go down the checklist. How much are you sleeping? Two hours a night. Well, that needs to change. I need you sleeping eight hours within a 24 hour period. And I laughed in her face. I'm like, how am I going to do that with a one year old and a newborn? Figure it out. But if you don't want to die.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Did she get your husband involved?

[Christine DeClario]

Oh, yes.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Good.

[Christine DeClario]

That was, that was because I think

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

getting your family mobilized so important.

[Christine DeClario]

Within three months, she got my husband involved. First. It was, okay, what are you eating, how much are you drinking and how much are you sleeping? And it turns out, turns out that all of that was out of whack. I fixed that and within two weeks I didn't have the urge to commit suicide anymore. So that was a plus. She said, let's hold up on the medication and let's keep exploring this route. It went well. Then within three months she's like, I want to see what your support system is like. So can we bring in your husband and let's bring in the babies and let's meet them all. And she asked my husband two questions in session. The whole hour went by answering those two questions. And at the end, as sweet and gracious as she always is, she said, well, Carlos, I need to see you separately because you've endured a lot of trauma in your life that we need to heal. And by the way, I need to see you two as a couple because we've got to fix some stuff between you two that are not necessarily healthy. And that was the most beautiful, arduous journey that we each had to endure. And we have since graduated from all three levels of therapy and learned so much. And we're at a point now where we have these loaves and these fishes that have come out of our process. So how do we give it forth and help other people to find help? And that is why I'm here today. Because I don't think there is a more impactful voice to be able to educate us on the brain than you.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So tell me your goal. So we'll do that. But what's your goal in coming and letting me evaluate you and scan you?

[Christine DeClario]

It's removing another layer of shame, really. Most people will not enter the doors of an expert of any kind because they're too afraid of what they're going to hear and they're afraid of feeling that they have failed in some way to get there. But what I keep finding is most of my mental health tendencies I was born with. And this would be the first time where I actually see it visually, that there is an actual analysis, physiological analysis within my body that I can see. And I could like put the face to the name, but in every other assessment I've had, these are things that I, either I was born with or trauma built it into me and I've just turned into this person that I didn't understand much up until three or four years ago when I started actually not pushing against my own current, but like just embracing who I am and letting me be me and let just let God flow through me as I am instead of wrestling with myself. That, to me is a great part of loving myself so that I can love others well. And my goal is for other people to understand that, yeah, sometimes we do make bad decisions and end up in bad predicaments, but sometimes we don't understand that it's just the way we're wired and we're trying to be someone else or conform to something else that is not who we are physiologically. And then from there stems so many other things.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And if you never look at the brain, you never know, it becomes this huge sort of black box. But our work has shown it's not a black box and that you can understand it and make it better. So I had you fill out a lot of information.

[Christine DeClario]

Oh, my gosh, yes.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And then you talked to our historian and some of the things I took away from it. Complex trauma, which talk about brain fog since the birth of your children. And a lot of women talk about pregnancy, dementia, lifelong ADHD symptoms. So I want to learn more about that. We talked about the severe postpartum depression with suicidal ideation. And for everybody listening when, because I've treated, I don't know how many people are suicidal, I always lead with, you think people be better without you. That's a lie. That you would have gifted your children a 500% increased risk of them killing themselves. Wow. Because you're teaching them this is how grown ups solve problems. You do not want to give them that option. And when you're depressed, it's like your brain gets in a tunnel and the tunnel has no windows and no doors. And so all you see is your pain and the pain you cause others. And you don't go, okay, if I do this, what are the generational consequences? So I make sure all of my patients know the generational consequences. And I think that's a very effective strategy.

[Christine DeClario]

That's genius. I'd never heard it that way because

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

it's like, it's not just about me.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

It's about generations of me. And the. The better thing to do is to find out what's going on in your brain and to balance it. Because with a better brain always comes a better life.

[Christine DeClario]

Yep.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Right. So you've had some panic attacks, some premenstrual irritability, having five sisters and five daughters. People go, pms isn't real. I'm like, you don't have my life

[Christine DeClario]

with so many women when they sync up and, like, it all happens like cascading, one after the other. A man has no rest.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Deja vu, which I found really interesting. You've had a bunch of emdr. Is that true?

[Christine DeClario]

A little.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

A little.

[Christine DeClario]

I've had a couple sessions of emdr, but that's all it took.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

It's so powerful. I love emdr. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. One of the most powerful therapies to just sort of clean up the noise from the past. And what we see on scans is when you have complex trauma, brain is very busy, but EMDR calms it down. Tell me about the trauma.

[Christine DeClario]

At the age of five, I survived sexual abuse. And it was. It was strange because the way I remembered, I had suppression of those memories because shortly after, my father was gravely ill, and then he passed away by the time I was six and a half. So not even a year and a half after that, my dad passes away. My mom remarried rather quickly. Unbeknownst to me, my father already knew he was terminal a couple years before he died, and they had had a discussion. I'm not going to be here very much longer. Let me just live in the house so that I don't miss out on whatever time I have left with the girls, but find a dad for my girls, because I'm not going to be around. So they did have an open relationship towards the end. And that's why my mom remarried rather quickly, because everything was kind of set in place so we wouldn't miss a male figure in the house. Shortly after that, my stepfather knew that we weren't going to be in a great area in New York for much longer. So he moved us from New York to Puerto Rico, where it was kind of a safe haven. So all of that kind of snowballed. So it was big trauma at the beginning. Big trauma came second. With the death of my father, my brain just absorbed the sexual trauma and then all of the getting used to this new place, new culture, new new family. It was very odd for me because I felt like the rug had been slipped from under me. And it. Nobody ever put it back. So I felt like I was never at home anywhere. And then I've had this thing where I'm too white amongst the brown folks and I'm too brown amongst the white folks, so I never fit in.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I hear that so much because I'm.

[Christine DeClario]

I'm a middler. My father was white European descent. My mom is Afro Caribbean and very Latina and he was like very white. And so I have these both worlds within me that I can't. I can't shut one off and turn the other one on, depending on what part of the population I'm with.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

It is sort of cool though.

[Christine DeClario]

It is cool now. And I know it's a really cool bridge because, I mean, I always have a great conversation. Growing up, growing up, it was hard because I was either too tall or too white or my hair was too blonde or my eyes were too green and it was. I had deformity in my teeth growing up. So my teeth would like come out of my mouth and I couldn't even like close my mouth for a close mouth smile. All my school pictures, I'm like trying to hide my teeth. So there was a lot of bullying that went down too for years. And so I just grew up believing that I was lesser than because I didn't have a father or because I was damaged goods or because I was just used to being rejected.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And do you know, that is the mother thought of suffering.

[Christine DeClario]

I did not know that.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I'm less than.

[Christine DeClario]

Huh.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And it's public knowledge. I've been Justin Bieber's actor and I've been Miley Cyrus's doctor for a long time. And of all of some of the superstars I've seen, I am not enough. And I looked at one of them, I'm like, then who would be right? But that imposter syndrome in large part social media is dramatically accelerated.

[Christine DeClario]

Yes.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

That I'm not enough because we're also carrying ourselves amplification of compare people. I'm the second son in a Lebanese family.

[Christine DeClario]

Oh, wow.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

For a long time, like Prince Harry. His book is called Spare.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

That's what I felt until I really got it. His book should have been called Total Freedom.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I can marry a Hollywood starlet and. And just Princess Will cannot.

[Christine DeClario]

Yes.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Right. I have total freedom to do anything I want. Where Will's path is. This is your path. Right. And for me, my dad owned grocery stores. That was my brother. He was going to be in the store.

[Christine DeClario]

The air.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And if you love that, that's awesome. But for me, no way. Right? But for me, it was total freedom. But I didn't embrace that right. Initially. You embrace the. Your second as opposed to your free.

[Christine DeClario]

Right? Yeah, I get that. I was the firstborn, so all the pressure fell on me. I remember growing up being guilty for everything my siblings did. There's an instance, and we. We say it all the time and we laugh now. We grew up in Puerto Rico, and sometimes we would lose power, and sometimes the TV station would lose power, and it would just go gray. Whenever that would happen, they would just scream my name. Christine, what did you do? I'm like, nothing. I don't control the TV station. But it was. It was everybody's default name to, like, yell at Christine. There was a season where I wanted to change my name because I'm like, don't call my name anymore.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

How many siblings did you have?

[Christine DeClario]

Two. Two in the household. My sister, who's 12 months younger than I, and my brother, who's seven years younger than I. She is mother and father. Sibling. He is my stepdad's son. And so just growing up in that atmosphere, not knowing who I was or where I fit in was a common denominator throughout my life. Then I had a really rocky relationship in college. I understand now that all of the love and affirmation that I needed from the male figure of my father, that wasn't there. I just thirsted for it in this guy. And I just put all of my love and devotion into this one guy that finally accepted me. It ended very badly. It was highly codependent, a little bit abusive psychologically. And it ended. And when it ended, everything crumbled. And all the feelings of my childhood came right back to the surface. So I went through a season of a lot of passive aggressive rebellion because I grew up in a church, so I was the worship leader. But when I was in college, I was rebellious, and I was doing everything I could that the Bible said I shouldn't do because I was angry at God. Because if you hadn't taken my dad, then none of this would have happened.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

In Rule of a Paradox, how'd you get on with your stepfather?

[Christine DeClario]

I didn't really love him well until I was about 18, and I started getting some maturity and understanding a little more about life. But I rejected him wholeheartedly. He was not considered my friend. I understand now. I thought of him as someone who came to steal a place that was my dad's because I had a lot of unresolved grief.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I bet we didn't. And if you tended to attack yourself when things went wrong.

[Christine DeClario]

Oh, yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So it's not uncommon.

[Christine DeClario]

Yes.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Is when you're 4, 5, 6, for children, especially for the oldest, they think of themselves at the center of the world. And if something good happens, they sort of think it's because of that. If something bad happens, they sort of think it's because of them. There's this magical thinking and they feel pain and then rage, but then guilt about the rage. And it's the guilt about the rage that creates a lot of unhappiness because they feel like they're defective or that they're a criminal. And absolutely my case.

[Christine DeClario]

Check, check, check.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Terrible place to be. And ultimately the healing is being able to get the rage out.

[Christine DeClario]

That part. That part was hard. Okay, fast forwarding the story way ahead. I go through infertility, two years of trying nothing happening treatments left and right, Nothing happening. The Lord heals me simply and beautifully at a prayer service, not for anything I did, just because he's good and he wanted to. I get pregnant with my children, have both my children, fall in postpartum depression, end up in treatment. My husband and I end up in treatment together. In that journey, the memories of the sexual abuse, some had already returned to me in my 20s, but during this process, a really big one, which was a rape that happened when I was five, was unlocked. And for me, suppressed memories feel like an egg cracks, like I can almost hear it. And then these memories just come flooding and I feel everything, all the senses, and I relive it all over again. I have learned the power of forgiveness. So I know that an instant act of forgiveness helps me to be free. So I went into that. But then when I came to my therapist and brought her, hey, I just got this memory that while I thought I had dodged a bullet, I thought I was just molested as a kid. No, I wasn't. So I feel like crap because I was thinking that I didn't have it that bad. But now these feelings of I am damaged goods are back at the surface. And I thought I had already dealt with that, but now I feel really angry because now this sense of protecting my little ones is kind of manifesting, but I don't know where to put it. And then she very kindly explained, yeah, your. Your system is wanting to integrate your five year old that was wounded, wants to heal and wants to reconnect with who you are now, which is the grown up. And the grownup kind of becomes a kind of a parent figure and a protector to that little one. And that's what your system is trying to reconcile. Let's explore it and let's walk through it. But I remember she was role playing a little bit with me in session. And she said, what would happen right now if the first person that ever molested you? Which is what opened the door for all the other things to happen. What would happen if that man was in the room right now? And I transformed. I turned into this murderous lady that wanted to, like, I would like grab him by the head and I would, I would hurt him so bad and I would snuff the life out of him and I would just watch him die and I would love it. And I'm like, whoa, what was that? That is not me at all. I am a little anti violence. I don't like that kind of confrontation. I'm. There's nothing about me that would do that, but that's what comes up if

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

somebody would have done that to your child.

[Christine DeClario]

Exactly. That mama bear was like coming out. And we were approaching the end of session. Our next session was scheduled for a month after. And she said, okay, okay, that's good. Your homework today is sit with it. You need to sit with that rage. And I said, what? Excuse me, lady, what are you talking about? She's like, yeah, sit with it. Like, I just, I just told you that if a hypothetical person that's probably already dead would be in this room, I would kill him in a very horrendous way. And you're telling me to sit with those feelings of rage? Like, I don't, I don't want to feel rage. And I said, rage is wrong. And she said, well, who told you that rage is wrong? Who told you that anger is wrong? And I said, well, it's, it's not, it's not a very Christ like feeling. And she said, so are you calling God wrong? And I said, wait a minute, lady, let's not go into theology here, because I'm still mad. And she said, yeah, because God feels anger and he feels rage and it's in the Bible. And he created you in his image and now you have rage for an injustice that was committed against you. The problem is not the rage. The problem is where it needs to be.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

It's a suppression of rage.

[Christine DeClario]

That's where I was. I would not let it out for the life of me because I was afraid.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Turns around and attacks you.

[Christine DeClario]

Exactly. And I was literally being self imploded by these feelings that weren't. I was not letting them come out. I had a dam in place And I would not let it flow because I had understood that feelings were either evil or good, or there's no one

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

to be a good girl, absolute.

[Christine DeClario]

I had to be. I was on a platform every week in a different country preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ with a smile on my face and singing pretty songs.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

What did Jesus do in the temple?

[Christine DeClario]

Exactly. I had just put that in a back burner somewhere. And I didn't want to address it because I didn't want it to trigger something in me. But the best thing I could have ever done was spent that entire month sitting with that rage in.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

In some of the MDR sessions I do, people die.

[Christine DeClario]

Wow.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Because I'll take them back to, like, I'll have your mind get on a train and go back, bring your adult self with the child to that event. And if the anger could come out, where would it go? And doing it with the eye movements, cmdr. It just helps integrate it. It helps process it. But you gotta feel it.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And not feel bad, bad about it. Because if someone was doing that to your child or to someone you love, there's just no way you'd be okay right with that. And it's the repressed rage that often comes out in panic attacks, anxiety, eating

[Christine DeClario]

disorders, which is exactly where I was. The lesson I learned in it when I came back was I said, okay, I sat with it and here's what I learned. I had pages in my journal of things that were just big revelations to me. And she said, well, that's exactly what I needed to happen. You needed to be able to sit with it in the silence so that the only thing that you heard directed you and guided a path to where it was being birthed from. Because if we're going to be biblical about it, the Bible says you ask and you don't receive because you ask wrong. And you ask wrong because you just don't know what to ask for. And she says, you need to sit with what hurts so you know where, exactly where it is. So that when you ask the Lord, heal me, guide me, how am I going to fix this? And then he brings people and resources into your life to fix it. You don't reject it, but you know exactly. Pinpoint exactly where it is. And so that was a. That was a big moment for me. And it gave me tools to always figure out. Whenever I'm out of character and my feelings are a little too much on my sleeve, I have to go and sit with it. That's not easy for me because I'm very Hyperactive. I'm twitching and jumping and figuring how to do something out and like inventing something or creating something all day. So sitting in stillness is not something that comes natural to me. But I have to practice the discipline.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So I wonder if the add. So let's talk about add.

[Christine DeClario]

Yes, please. I have so many questions. If.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

If it's ADD or if it's trauma.

[Christine DeClario]

It could be. It could be. I think it's a little both.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Your dad dies, you're molested, you move, there's instability. One thing I've learned after looking at nearly 300000 brain scans is this. Your brain is involved in everything you do. How you think, feel, act and connect with others. And here's the exciting news. You are not stuck with the brain you have. You can make it better. That's exactly why we created Amen University. It's where we teach you how to care for your brain. Using science based strategies rooted in neuroscience, not guesswork. You can explore courses on everything from memory rescue and concussion recovery to insomnia, autism, and so much more. If you're a coach, clinician, or someone who wants to help others, we offer our elite brain health coaching certification course where you can become certified in teaching brain health and even qualified clinicians can earn up to 50 continuing education courses credits. If you want to take control of your brain and your life, go to amenuniversity.com so tell me why you think you have ADD.

[Christine DeClario]

Okay. The to and fro. Everything catches my attention at all times. I am constant. There's two people in my brain at all times. There's the real me that's all over the place. And then there's like mom to me. It's like, okay, look this way, then I'll look that way. Okay, now stop looking at that and look this way. I have to be parenting and like coaching myself the whole time. And it works to a certain extent. But growing up, I had issues being still in the classroom. I remember parent teacher conferences. My mom would always be told, she's great, she's bright, she's brilliant, but she can't stay still or she can't be quiet or she got in trouble again because she didn't obey and she didn't do what everybody else was doing. That was a constant.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So you're hyperactive?

[Christine DeClario]

Extremely.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Restless.

[Christine DeClario]

Very. But also an overachiever. Because I strived on. I want to get all these answers perfect and I want to do it in record time. And I wasn't so much competing with anybody but me. Oh, I did it in this amount of time before. Let me see if I could do it better. So there was always this, like this hit and play with myself. And it's.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

If you had a half an hour of homework, how long would it take you to do?

[Christine DeClario]

15 minutes.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Usually the add people, it's two and a half hours.

[Christine DeClario]

And when it came to reading, it would be the two and a half hours.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Reading was hard.

[Christine DeClario]

Yes. The letters would get jumbled up. Oh, and so there's dyslexia in there.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

We'll come back to this. Called Irlen syndrome.

[Christine DeClario]

Huh.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Do you know what that is?

[Christine DeClario]

I've heard about it.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah.

[Christine DeClario]

I'm halfway through that rabbit hole.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

It's a visual processing issue. And when we look at your checklists, you had a lot of those.

[Christine DeClario]

I don't doubt it.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So which makes people look like they have add, when what it is, is they're sensitive to certain colors of light and blocking them out. All of a sudden, they don't look like they have abd, which is really interesting. How's your organization? Horrible.

[Christine DeClario]

I want to.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Desk, book, bag.

[Christine DeClario]

I want to. And I go through these frenzies in which I organize everything. And I can't leave the room until I'm done. And it'll last a whopping 48 hours because to me, if I don't see it, it doesn't exist. And for instance, I have to lay everything down on a counter that I need because I'll forget that it's there. And then, lo and behold, a few months later, I have three of the same thing. Because I thought that I lost it and I had to buy it again type thing.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So not natural. Organization's not natural.

[Christine DeClario]

It's not natural to me. I.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

You're on time today. Are you usually on time?

[Christine DeClario]

Yes, because I'm married to my husband. That is total credit to Carlos Caban, my husband, to. He has a very strict policy that being 15 minutes early is already being late. And he has helped me curb that. Time of time management is not something that comes natural to any of the women in my family. But I'm so glad that he is my companion. He helps me stay.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I only love women who have add. Right. My wife and I did a whole PBS show on add, and my first wife just could never be on time. And so I. And I lied to her constantly. It's like we have to be at the airport at 11, when really we didn't have to be there till 12. But, you know, and then I'd still have to be mad at her to like. I'm like chronic stress for me and my wife now likes to be there early.

[Christine DeClario]

We have that effect on people. I'm so sorry. People who love me. I am sorry. I apologize profusely into eternity. So I love my hyper focus. I love being able to sit with something and this happens and it's tunnel vision.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And if you're interested. If I'm interested, you're not interested.

[Christine DeClario]

If I'm not interested, I lose all power of will to see it through. It's like it becomes a black hole that I want to stay away from because I think it's going to suck me in and I'm going to cease to exist type feeling.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So procrastination. Unless you love it.

[Christine DeClario]

Unless I love it.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And I do force myself to do patience. Do something you love because then your brain will let you do it. If you think this is gonna. You'll make more money doing this, but you don't like it, don't do it because you're not gonna make more money doing that because you're gonna end up being fired.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah, it's a sense of overwhelm. Like for instance, emails or answering, you know, the mundane text or any simple thing that's just not interesting to me. It feels like an amplified sense of dread. Like almost. I can't do it. Another thing impulsive. I. I have worked really hard on impulse control because when I was a lot younger, I had rage issues. And in one of those rage issues, I almost killed my sister. So that was kind of like.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Say more about that.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah, yeah, it was dramatic. I'm sorry, Linda. I've apologized before, but I'll say it again. I was maybe 13, 14. I was already into puberty. My hormones were crazy. One day my sister was teasing me. My parents were not in the house and she was teasing me about something. I don't even remember, but it was something I didn't want to do. She was like, well, you better do it or I'm going to tell mom. I'm like, well, you can tell her I'm not going to do it. Just leave me alone. Well, I'm going to tell mom you hit me and then she's going to hit you. And I'm like, but it's not true. And she's like, well then do what I'm saying. And I'm like, but I don't want to. And then she started poking me on my shoulder. And then she did. When she did it the third time, I just snapped. And all I remember was Like, a giant force took over me, and I grabbed her by the hair, and I just whacked her against the edge of the bed, and I hit her right here with the edge of a very solid wood. And she just passed out.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Oh, wow.

[Christine DeClario]

And her face went blue. And I thought she died because for almost felt like two minutes to me, like, she wouldn't come back. And I. I thought I killed her. I already, like, catastrophized everything in my brain at that time. I'm like, okay, I'm probably gonna go to juvie. I'm gonna end up in jail. I just killed my sister. My parents are not home. There's. There's nothing I could say that would ever fix something like this. And I just lost my best friend. Like, all that in the span of, like, a minute and a half. And that was so strong a trauma to me that I'm like, I'm not putting my hands on anybody ever again. And I. I'm just. I'm just gonna hold on to my impulses.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So the rage later that your therapist wanted you to feel, you're already defending.

[Christine DeClario]

Oh, yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Against the rage.

[Christine DeClario]

I was like, no, I'm not. I can't do that, because bad things happen if I let rage go. The next time I let rage go was years later. I was already married with Carlos, and I was so overwhelmed by something that I grabbed something from the wall, and I just threw it, and it just shattered to pieces. And then I saw the visual of, like, broke. It was one of my favorite wall arts, and I just snapped, and it broke to pieces and beyond repair. So to me, it was like, if I let rage go, bad things happen. I can't trust myself with being angry. And then it was like, nope, Control your impulses. You cannot. You can't let anything out that way.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So you see a couple of incidences of impulsivity. But is it the story of your life?

[Christine DeClario]

I don't think so.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Where you say things that you shouldn't say?

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah, yeah. It's. There's a lot of verbal blah, blah. And then you're like, no, come backwards. Come back into my mouth. I have since learned to pause. I've learned to pause, and I do force myself to do it. But rehearsing. Rehearsing it in my brain helps.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

You know, if I had tattoos, I don't have any, but one of them would be, is it true? Like, I don't believe every stupid thing I think.

[Christine DeClario]

Right.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

The other one is, does it fit? Does this. If I say this, or I do this does it fit the goals I have for my life? So I want a kind, caring, loving, supportive, passionate relationship with my wife. But I have thoughts that don't fit that, and so I don't say them. Most of the time I get a thought. It's like, don't say it. Does it fit? It doesn't fit. Don't say it.

[Christine DeClario]

Well, I need to learn that one. I'm on the. Is it true? Is it true to me is choosing which is the hill I want to die on? Because what I'm saying is, is truth and factual. And like, don't say it's not true. Because I know. I research this and I know this is the right answer is usually where I lean. And I do. I do practice something my mom taught me when I was very young because I had an issue with my tongue. You say, whenever you're going to say something that feels like it's coming out too fast, just do this. Bite your tongue, make an awkward smile and breathe well.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And then go, does it fit? If I say this, does it help me? That's good to help the situation. It's such a good thing. I'm taking it to do with the temper and the deja vu. I want to learn more about deja vu because I saw it in your history. So deja vu is the feeling you've been somewhere before even though you never have. Yeah. Tell me about that.

[Christine DeClario]

I feel it all the time. It's frequent. I want to say it happens between five and ten times a year. Ish. And I don't know what to think of it. But I do notice it happens a lot. Whenever I'm at a crossroads and I'm transitioning into something or I'm growing into something, or I'm doing things that I'd never done before. I've liked to think of it as signs that I'm going in the right direction. Because this feels familiar. Even though I've never been here. But I've never really understood where it comes from or why it happens. But it does feel it's happened to me. Yes, it has. That I have dreamt stuff.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So we're gonna look at your temporal lobes because often it's a sign of an electrical storm in one of your temporal lobes. Now, sometimes it can be a spiritual thing.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And there's a lot of that spirituality tens to happen in our upper lobes. And, you know, if God's going to communicate with us, there's going to be an area of your brain where that happens. There's a Psychologist from Canada. And he noticed when he would stimulate the outside of the right temporal lobe, people would have a religious or spiritual experience. They'd actually have a sense presence. They would feel the presence of God in the room. And so does that mean the brain makes up God, or did God create a mechanism for us to feel him? Yeah, so I. I would choose the latter.

[Christine DeClario]

Same.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

But anyways, deja vu. So.

[Christine DeClario]

And it's happened that we're looking. I've had dreams that I have lived later. I have both my children. I have dreamt them in exact moments. Exactly. I knew their faces before they were born. So there's also that prophetic spiritual gifting that's in there. And sometimes with deja vu, I don't know which is which. Could be one, could be the other, but I don't know.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Interesting. So interesting. So I always think of people in these four big circles. Biological, psychological, social, spiritual. And if we look at some of the biology, I have an acronym I like a lot called Bright minds. You want to keep your brain healthy or rescue it. We have to prevent or treat the 11 major risk factors.

[Christine DeClario]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And bright mind. So B is for blood flow, low blood flows, number one brain imaging predictor of Alzheimer's disease. And for you, you have some risk factors. Sedentary.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I need you to figure out how to exercise.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

More walk like you're late. 45 minutes, four times a week. Or with Tannen, I do my wife Japanese walking. We did it this morning. Three minutes normal, three minutes fast. Three minutes normal, three minutes fast. Do that five times. So it's half an hour. And if you only have 20 minutes, go 1 minute normal, 3 minutes fast. Do it 5 times. The sort of burst. Walking is so good for your brain.

[Christine DeClario]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And then you should be lifting weights because the stronger you are as you age, the less likely you are to have problems. And so. And women go, oh, no, I don't want to lift weights. I don't want big muscles. It's like muscle is much more compact than fat. So I would. I just want you to think more exercise will help you so much.

[Christine DeClario]

And that makes sense because my grandmother, I'm very similar to her physiologically. My father's mother, she died of dementia.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And you don't want it.

[Christine DeClario]

I do not. I saw her decay, and it was very sad.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah. The R is retirement and aging. You're still, at least compared to me, very young. It's just about new learning. Whatever you can do to do things new and differently will be helpful for you. Is inflammation have you had lab work done recently?

[Christine DeClario]

I have.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Can you send it to me?

[Christine DeClario]

Yes.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I'm going to email you my slides, and I'll ask you to do that. In your family, you have prediabetes and heart disease and substance abuse. All that means is every day of your life. Like, I have heart disease and obesity in my family, but I don't have either because I'm on a heart disease obesity prevention program every day of my life. And I really have to watch what I eat because it's just so easy to gain weight with my body. But that's so important to me. I published three studies that shows your weight goes up, the size and function of your brain goes down, and I'm like, oh, no, I'm not. No. So being at a healthy way is critical.

[Christine DeClario]

I had no idea that weight.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah, I didn't either. And when I figured it out, I lost 20 pounds because I'd always sort of been a little chubby. And I'm like, no, yeah, I'm starting tomorrow. In view of God's mercy, offer your body as a living sacrifice.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Holy and pleasing to God. That is your true worship. And so getting healthy is worship. And then Romans 12:2. That's Romans 12:1. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you can test to see if it fits God's good, perfect, and pleasing well. So all that's like the four circles in two Bible verses. Getting healthy. Biologically, that's worship. Transform your mind, and then your relationships are better. It's like, I love that so much. The Amen. Whole four is based on those two verses. Head trauma. Interesting. 2009. You had a double whiplash. And then I read this, and I'm like, how does this make sense? You broke your tailbone four years in a row.

[Christine DeClario]

No, four years ago.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Four years ago. Okay. Because I'm like, why is that?

[Christine DeClario]

God forbid I have to go four

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

years in a row. I'm like, that sounds like obsessive masochism.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Four years ago.

[Christine DeClario]

Four years ago, Christmas, snow tubing slide at a hotel in Dallas. They had this winter wonderland. I went down with my little girl. And the slide had not been maintained. So there were several divots with no ice. And then there was this big compacted bunch of ice that was like maybe the size of a dinner plate. That was like a little mound. So it was bounce, bounce, bounce, whack. Right on my tailbone on that mound of ice. And it was instantly excruciating pain. And, like, to feel like somebody had poured Alcohol on an open wound on the inside of my low back and it pretty much severed the little tail part off. It was bad trauma and then.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I'm sorry.

[Christine DeClario]

That exacerbated old injuries.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

When was the postpartum depression?

[Christine DeClario]

2018 was when I was diagnosed, so it was 2022.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Not much in the way of toxins except mold exposure. You were exposed to mold when you.

[Christine DeClario]

When I was 18. Tell me college.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Where were you going to college?

[Christine DeClario]

Music major? Puerto Rico. The Inter American University in San German. The practice rooms where us musicians had to spend all of our day in. Turns out they had toxic mold. There was no way to remediate it without funds. In order for us to get funds allocated to the Department of Music, we had to resuscitate the association of Music Students. There was nobody who wanted to run. So I decided to run for the presidency and like get political with like the deans and the directives and finally get some funds that we collected amongst all of our peers. And come to find out there was no remediation company that would come do it. We had to do it ourselves. So that was a full semester of being exposed to mold every day.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And have you ever been tested for mold?

[Christine DeClario]

I have never been tested for mold. I know that I have a very, since then, very high sensitivity to like just fungus in the atmosphere.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Not be a bad idea. Because you've not had a big issue with drugs or alcohol.

[Christine DeClario]

No.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Or smoking or anything like that.

[Christine DeClario]

I never wanted. I didn't want to damage my voice.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Your brain's a little bumpy, so I think probably be good to work with an integrative or functional medicine doctor and just check. But I want you to send me your labs. From mental health standpoint, your PHQ9, which is a measure of depression's a little on the high side. It's not severe, but it's there. 0 to 10. Where would you put your mood if 0 is you want to kill yourself and 10 is awesome?

[Christine DeClario]

7.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Okay. Bad.

[Christine DeClario]

Not bad, but it's closer to 5 than I like it. I think a lot of it has to do with just chronic stress. A lot of. A lot of traveling. Sleep is kind of iffy right now. The level at which my children are in their development, very high demand. But I also have a million other projects running. I'm in a major transition right now running a nonprofit organization that's growing very. A lot faster than we thought. But also being in a music career, also being an author, also being in two major tours right now promoting the book and also Music. Just a lot coming together. I feel that my.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Sounds like an indie life.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Although I shouldn't talk.

[Christine DeClario]

What is it Takes one to know one.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah. I'm like, I have a lot going on too. Your ACE score. Adverse childhood experiences. Have you heard of that before? On a scale of 0 to 10, how many bad things happened to you growing up and you're seven. Four or more. Increases your risk. Seven of the top ten leading causes of death. Wow. Six or more. You died 20 years early. But you don't have to, obviously. My wife's an eight and she's going to live a long time because she's done the work.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

To deal with the trauma. But the trauma is real.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

For sure. Low resistant to infection, sensitive to cold, tired, worn out, painful periods. I'm gonna put you on something called Happy Saffron. Love it so much. We also have something called anything called Happy I welcome. It's got saffron, zinc and curcumin. It's 35 randomized control trials showing saffron is equally effective to antidepressants.

[Christine DeClario]

Really?

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

But it doesn't have the side effects. In fact it is. It doesn't sort of ruin your sex life. It enhances it. And it. A couple of studies with PMS show is helpful. Helpful for focus, helpful for memory.

[Christine DeClario]

So yeah, I will embrace it wholeheartedly.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I was on Khloe Kardashian's podcast and I was, I evaluated her three, four years ago and then I never heard from her. And then she asked me to be on her podcast. She took Happy Saffron every day.

[Christine DeClario]

Oh, wow.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

For three years. In fact, she holds it up on her podcast and we completely ran out of it and she said it just helped me so much. And I had her brain before and after and it was just so much healthier.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah. And I've noticed that after 412 years ago, my body, which I think there might be hormonal issues there, maybe I'm starting perimenopause and it's one of those long drawn issues combined with all my stress. Not a good recipe. I've noticed like all these signs that people say, well, this could be per menopause, like hair falling at a lot bigger rate than it did before. Joints feeling very sore. Appetite is up at one hour and then you don't want to eat anything at another hour. Hot flashes, which I never thought in my 40s I could possibly get. I have gotten mood swings. Irregular periods. Yes. But they say that everything is within normal range. But I don't believe that.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Did they check them on day 19 to 21 of your cycle?

[Christine DeClario]

There's never been an intentionality for that. That'd be a good thing to do.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

We should do that. That is so important to get them at the right time. If you just do them willy nilly, you don't know what they're. They're really supposed to be.

[Christine DeClario]

I'm tempted to do them weekly and just see every week of my cycle what it looks like hormonally because it. It's become consistent.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah.

[Christine DeClario]

And I don't like the way I feel.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I have a wonderful functional medicine doctor that you might see. Her name's Ebony Cornish. I love her a lot.

[Christine DeClario]

Send me.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And then trouble falling asleep and then waking up is hard, which is very common in. People have add. It's like hard to go to bed and waking them is like waking.

[Christine DeClario]

It feels like I have an anvil on my chest and it's like somebody's trying to pull me from like I'm the Titanic and they're trying to.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Have you ever taken ADD meds?

[Christine DeClario]

No. I have steered clear of it at the advice of my team because they're afraid that it'll change my personality.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah. My experience with artists is it doesn't because it helps you be who you are when your whole brain works. Right.

[Christine DeClario]

I have one friend, the. The biggest ADHD case I've ever seen that's worse than I am. He took. I don't know if it was Vivance or maybe it was Ritalin. I'm not sure which one he took. They gave him a 30 day run and he said that he had never been as focused as he was then. Everything in his studio and in his house was like pristine and organized and spotlight. He was cleaning baseboards with a toothbrush. But he couldn't write a single song in 30 days.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah.

[Christine DeClario]

So it kind of turned off that creative edge and he didn't like it, so he stopped it.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So I have an artist that actually was a truck driver when I first met him and. But I saw something he drew. I was like unbelievable. And he had add and when we treated him, he got a job for Disney making six figures. And he was still as creative. He just finished things because before he wasn't finishing. Yeah, anything. And I have another one who's a writer and he. He likes having 16 characters in his head at the same time. So he doesn't take the medicine when he works.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah, but.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

But he takes it in dealing with his wife and dealing with his children and dealing with the stuff he has to do the routine work. So it's the medicine, sort of like glasses. And it works when you take it and it doesn't work when you don't. I wouldn't dismiss it.

[Christine DeClario]

I'm. I'm still on the fence about it.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Look at it.

[Christine DeClario]

How to deal with the ADHD feeling that you never really hit the mark and measure up with the current of everybody else and everything else that's going on around you. Because to me, it's extremely frustrating when I get that executive dysfunction of. I have to answer all these emails, I have to draw out. I don't know this business plan or this project needs to be done at a certain day, at a certain time and I can't make myself get there. Or if I sit down to do it, it's like blank and I can't.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So maybe somebody else should be doing that. I mean, the most effective people I know.

[Christine DeClario]

You see it louder for the people in the back.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Great. Great. Executive assistants or chief of staff or someone that does the follow through. Right. I mean, you're obviously incredibly talented and. But there's no rule that says you have to do everything. That's. Steve Jobs didn't do everything.

[Christine DeClario]

True that.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So you took this test for us. It's called Total Brain. I love it a lot. And you're really good at recognizing faces and you recognize happy faces way more than negative faces. People with past drama, that's generally. They're generally paranoid.

[Christine DeClario]

Wow.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

But you've worked on it. Get your feelings hurt, even let go of it. You're under a lot of stress and you're pretty anxious. Your memory is phenomenal.

[Christine DeClario]

Really.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Your focus, at least on this test is pretty good. And on the excess you did, it was pretty good. Your planning is phenomenal. This is not an ADD pattern. Flexible short term memory is good. Way too negative. This is not good for you. We need to get this better. Because if your sort of normal baseline is you're looking for what's wrong. I want you to start every day. Today is going to be a great day.

[Christine DeClario]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

As you go through your day, I want you to look for the little miracles in the day. And when you go to bed every night, I want you to go, what went well today? I just want you meditating. Start at the beginning of your day. It's okay to be a little OCD about this and go, what I like about today, what went well? And the bad stuff will show up. Go. I'm not dealing with you now. I will deal with you tomorrow. What went well today? And if you start hour by hour looking for what you love, it'll put you to sleep and your dreams will be better. What went well? Because I want to move this over here.

[Christine DeClario]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

You are very social.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Your cognitive function is great.

[Christine DeClario]

Well, that's good.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I would be very happy.

[Christine DeClario]

Brain fog and all.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Brain fog and all. Okay. We do a study called Spec and Spec looks at blood flow and activity. It looks at how your brain works and basically shows us three things. Healthy activity. You have lots, too little or too much. And here's an example of a healthy brain. Here we're looking underneath the brain, down from the top one side, then the other side. It should just be full, even, and symmetrical. The outside of your brain, you're going to see yours. I want it to be healthier. It's not as healthy as it could be here. Blue is average activity. Red is the top 15%. White is the top 8%. Now, if I would have had your brain before you did therapy, it would have been much different.

[Christine DeClario]

Yes, I'm sure.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So here's your scan. Actually pretty good.

[Christine DeClario]

It looks pretty.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

But you haven't drank and you haven't smoked, and you weren't a drug addict, and so many artists, you know, have that issue. But the only vulnerability is you see these little.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Caverns.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So, yeah, I think you have add. That's what I usually see in people who have abd, I think. So you have a beautiful brain. This is a brain that, you know, at least for the next 20 years, you're not getting Alzheimer's disease. And I don't see the whiplash as a big problem. You have a beautiful brain. So if we go back, we want it to look like this. You have a great cerebellum, a little chatterbox in your brain that's part of an area called the Default Mode network. Sort of talks to you a lot, all day long. So I want you to give your mind a name.

[Christine DeClario]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I want you to name it so you can begin to separate from it. Like, I named my mind after my Pat Raccoon, and I loved her. And raccoons have 200 sounds. But she was a troublemaker. She TPed my mother's bathroom. She ate all the fish out of my sister's aquarium.

[Christine DeClario]

First of all, pet raccoon.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah. For real. When I was 16. Loved her. And so when I heard I had someone on my podcast, he goes, give your mind a name. I'm like, when I named my mind out of. For my power outcome, because I don't have to take her seriously. I don't have to take my mind seriously.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah. Right.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Just because I have a thought has nothing to do with whether or not it's true. Whether or not it's helpful, whether or not it's useful. I don't have to listen to the noise. So I want you to be the watcher.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Sort of just be curious about what you're thinking.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Rather than attach. Because that's where suffering becomes is when you attach to what you think. Your emotional brain's a little busy. We're on the right side. Ptsd. And. And I can see it. It's here, here. And you have a little bit of it. But before therapy, probably.

[Christine DeClario]

Oh, I'm sure a lot. I am sure of it.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So I actually think the most important thing are these little dimples and the happy saffron will calm this down a little bit. But you have a great brain. I'd be very happy with your brain.

[Christine DeClario]

It's very encouraging. There's a lot of work being put

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

into that brain and now we can get you super healthy physically. Like no psychiatrist will ever tell you this.

[Christine DeClario]

No.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

If you get healthy physically.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Mentally, you're going to be even better.

[Christine DeClario]

You're different.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So, yes, I think you have adhd. I also think you have Irwin Syndrome. So I want you to get screened for this. There's a website, Erlan irlem.com take the self test. You're going to show up as positive and then will work on finding you an Erlan screener.

[Christine DeClario]

You said that's visually, things change.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah.

[Christine DeClario]

So before the scan, when the medication started kicking in, two things happened. One, I started seeing a glow around everything that was light in color and some lines were kind of.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

This is after he injected the medicine

[Christine DeClario]

and I normally hear frequencies all the time. I guess it's part of my neurodivergency. It amplified to like double the volume and everything was like, whoa.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So that's this part, if you think of this is your thalamus, sort of your sensory gateway in the brain and yours is naturally busy.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So it probably heightened it.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah. Nothing adverse feeling. It just. I noticed that it went way higher than it normally is.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So I think a consult with Dr. Cornish. Happy Saffron, Earl and Scream. I have a wonderful app called brain fit life 5.0 that has all sorts of great tools. There's a 30 day happiness challenge, probably a great place to start. And then Bright minds. I'll send this to you.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

But it's all the different things to and we have on Brain Fit Life. There's some hypnosis, audios. There's actually 18 of them for you. Peak performance. I think you really like that. And sleep. When people come to see me, they have good days and bad days, but they're not all bad. Right. And then I intervene. You do what I say. That's really important,

[Christine DeClario]

I think.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And people get better, but nobody just gets better. They're better and then not better and then not. These are very important because we want to learn from them. So every day you win or you learn.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So there's no failing. But so often people go, oh, this stuff doesn't work. And they stop. But where are you at in your cycle? What did you eat? What's the level of stress? What have you not been able to get done because you're doing too many things? There's a cool book I'm reading now called 10x is easier than 2x by my friend Dan Sullivan. I love him. And it's like, so what's going to get you 10x growth and what isn't? And you stop the what isn't part. So it's a good question for your team. Is this going to get us to where we want or am I just doing another thing that's busy?

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And anyways, with the trauma you've had in the past. Oh, I would hunt for triggers.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And are you still seeing the same therapist?

[Christine DeClario]

No, I'm not. I have her on as a coach. So we talk often. We haven't had a session.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

When you find that comes up. I still think some EMDR could be really helpful.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah. I've been considering it as of recently because what I'm experienced with my children is that as they grow, I relive things of that age.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah.

[Christine DeClario]

So it's, it's.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And they're how old now?

[Christine DeClario]

Seven and eight.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Yeah. And that was a very vulnerable time for you.

[Christine DeClario]

Yep.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And so just have someone. And I would just hunt for the triggers and then work through them.

[Christine DeClario]

Just unlock.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

But as long as you, like, pursue the plan, you'll have good days and bad days. It just won't be, you know. So we'll take it from a seven to an eight or a nine.

[Christine DeClario]

I love you. Win or you learn.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

There's no win or learn, no failing. So I talk about ants. Automatic negative thoughts. Which ones do you think you have?

[Christine DeClario]

All of nothing less than. Blaming. I'll be happier when labeling. Probably just the better.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I just. I don't want you to ever believe everything you think and they should have taught us this in check.

[Christine DeClario]

Yes.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Right. Just because you have a thought. Thoughts come from all sorts of places. They come from your parents, they come from the news, they come from the music you listen, they come from your friends, your foes, your siblings. And just because you have a thought, there's nothing to do with whether or not it's true, whether or not it's helpful, whether or not it's useful. So whenever you feel sad or mad or nervous or out of control, but you write down what you're thinking and just go, is it true? So here are five questions I love. Carlos Whitaker did our show and he's awesome. And he thought he was going to get Alzheimer's disease like his dad.

[Christine DeClario]

Wow.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And so we did the work. This is from my friend Byron Katie, who came up with this method. Is it true? And he said, I don't know. Is it absolutely true? So these five questions, is it true? What's a bad thought that runs around your head?

[Christine DeClario]

I'll fail as a mom.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I'll fail as a mom. Love that thought. It's such a bad thought.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah, gotta love it.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

It's a fortune teller.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

But right, you're predicting the worst.

[Christine DeClario]

Right.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So I'll fail as a mom. Fortune telling. Is that true? You'll fail us a month.

[Christine DeClario]

Unsure. I'm unsure.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I don't know. Is it absolutely true?

[Christine DeClario]

Probably not.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Probably not. How does that make you feel?

[Christine DeClario]

Very anxious.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And then how does it make you act?

[Christine DeClario]

A lot of compensating, overdoing it, maybe protection.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I got 50 million views and it was. All I said was, when you do too much for your children, you increase your self esteem by stealing theirs.

[Christine DeClario]

Oh, wow.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Where does self esteem come from? It comes from being competent. And if we, like if your child comes and says, I'm bored, so many people go, well, you could do this or you could do that or let's do this. No, no, no. Oh, you're bored. And then shut up.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And go. And if they don't go, oh, I could do this or I could do that. Right. The idea is put it back on now. It's what are you going to do about. And then stop. Because if you fix it, you're teaching them they're not competent.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

For my older children, I did way too much because I was compensating for not having a dad that was present.

[Christine DeClario]

Right.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And I'm like, no, I'm gonna be a good dad. But it was, I'm fixing me.

[Christine DeClario]

Right.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Rather than raising a mentally strong child.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I always want to teach them competence. Like if my daughter forgot her lunch, nobody brought it to school. If she forgot her sweater and it was cold, even though her mother told her to take it, nobody brought it to school. Because, yes, we could fix the day, but not fix the problem.

[Christine DeClario]

Right.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

One day she was doing a group project and she left her part at home. And the teacher called, knowing that my wife was going to say no. And she's like, please, everybody's going to fail. And I go, absolutely not. Because Chloe will never forget it again. You want them to learn the lesson.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

When the lessons are inexpensive.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

As opposed to their 18 and they're in prison.

[Christine DeClario]

Yes. Yes. That makes total sense.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So I'm gonna fail as a mother. What's the outcome of that thought is you do way too much.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Suffering.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So is it true? You don't know. Is it absolutely true? Absolutely not. How does it make me feel? Anxious. And a bit intrusive. How would I feel if I didn't have the thought?

[Christine DeClario]

3.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

How would I act? Like a good mom. Firm and kind. Whenever you question how you should be firm and kind of. Those are the two words. It always works. And what's the outcome of not having the thought? You're a better mom.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Because you're not being driven by anxiety or guilt.

[Christine DeClario]

Right.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Or uncertainty. And so is it true? Is it absolutely true? How's the thought make me feel? How would I be without the thought? What's the opposite of the thought? I am a good mom.

[Christine DeClario]

I'm a good mom.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

You have any evidence that that's true?

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Give me one.

[Christine DeClario]

They hunger for being around me whenever I'm in the room. And when I'm not, they say it, mom, you're such a good mom.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And that's where you meditate.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Because if you meditate here, I'm going to be a bad mom. You suffer, but if you meditate here, you're peaceful, you're happy, and your desire is to be a good mom.

[Christine DeClario]

Yep.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So the idea is not believing every stupid thing you think.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Right. Because that's a really toxic thought. And there's one that won't serve them well.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah, I'm learning.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I'll send you this in the slides. It's so powerful. And if you just did this like 30 times on the bad bots you have, they just start going away. But one thought leads to another bad thought. I say the ants link to each other and then they stack and then they attack you.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

There's another exercise I'll Just leave it in the slides. One page miracle. Write down what you want. This is mine. And then every day you ask yourself, does it fit? Does my behavior fit the goals I have for my life? This is very important. It's another book from Dan Sullivan, who I love. It's called the Gap in the Game. Are you in the gap, which is looking at what you don't have, measuring your life going forward, or are you in the game, looking at how far you come? And those of us that are driven to be successful, we're often in the gap. And this is where suffering is. So peace is here and joy. Suffering is here. So for me, I was in the gap so much of my life.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

So rather than I'll be successful when Gap thinking. So when I'm 18, when I was a teenager so I could. I had five sisters. So after we.

[Christine DeClario]

Five sisters and how many daughters?

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Five. Yeah.

[Christine DeClario]

Wow.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

God thinks it's very funny when I go on the army because I wanted to go in the army when I. Three months later, I'll be successful when I get out of the army, finish college, in medical school, become a psychiatrist. Like it's always, I'll be successful when I publish a book. Well, then I want a New York Times bestseller. And then I want a number one New York Times best. You see how it's just never enough? It's this hedonic treadmill, which is chronic stress. The better question, I'll be successful when is. I know I'm being successful when I'm connected to my wife and kids and grandkids. When I'm actively taking care of my body, mind, happiness and soul. Dennis Prager. Do you know who Dennis Prager is?

[Christine DeClario]

Prageru.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

I love him.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And he has this five minute video, why Be Happy? Where he talks about happiness is a moral obligation because of how you impact other people. Yeah. Love that so much. I'm happy when I'm learning I'm successful when I'm working on things that excite me, when I'm dealing with few to know whiny people who take without giving back. I don't like them. I'm gonna take say no to whatever doesn't bit Right. And so for you, be present, be happy. I just want you to ask yourself that question. I'm known being successful went by and then fill in the blank because then the stress begins to. I was talking to someone today so no one be successful when my children grandchildren are happy. And I'm like, no, no, no, because you just gave away.

[Christine DeClario]

You have to be happy to make anybody else happy, of course, can't be

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

dependent on other people's happiness.

[Christine DeClario]

Love you. You love well.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

And people go, oh, well, you're only as happy as your unhappiest child. I'm like, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard because I'm not going to allow my happiness to be dependent on their decisions. I want them to be happy.

[Christine DeClario]

Yeah, but no, then it fluctuates every day because every time they get hungry, they get quite unhappy. And that happens at least three times a day.

[Dr. Daniel Amen]

Autism, what is it? How do you know if you have. Autism's not one thing. It's many different things. There's so much to know about autism. It's not hard to understand. Hi, this is Dr. Dr. Daniel. Amen. I'm so excited to tell you about our new course, healing A new Way Forward, that I did with my friend and really autism expert, Dr. Jerry Cartzinel. It's a completely new look at autism. This course is for parents of children or adults who have autism, but it's all for professionals. We hope you'll join us with healing autism A New Way Forward. You've been watching change your brain every day. Every day. You're making your brain better or you're making it worse. Leave us a comment, question or review. You are not stuck with the brain you have. You can make better. I can prove it. Subscribe Leave us a comment, question Review we're so grateful for you.