Jordyn Jones on Challenging Your Automatic Negative Thoughts for a New Mindset

Summary

Change Your Brain Every Day – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Jordyn Jones on Challenging Your Automatic Negative Thoughts for a New Mindset
Date: January 6, 2026
Host(s): Dr. Daniel Amen
Guest: Jordyn Jones (actress, singer, dancer, and digital creator)

---

Overview: Main Theme

In this episode, Dr. Daniel Amen is joined by multifaceted entertainer Jordyn Jones to dive into the challenges of childhood fame, overcoming trauma, and learning to challenge automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) for a healthier, happier mindset. They discuss Jordyn’s personal journey—including growing up in a family affected by alcoholism, dealing with grief, and recovering from traumatic events—while Dr. Amen provides practical psychological tools for reframing negative beliefs and finding self-acceptance.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Childhood Fame and Identity Formation

[00:00 - 05:00]

• Jordyn describes her early drive as a natural entertainer, feeling “destined for Hollywood,” and how she stood out in her Michigan hometown.
• She reflects on her family’s support, especially from her mother, who helped cultivate her career from a young age.
• Quote [00:15]: "I was just doing the most...I wanted to wear what no one else was wearing in my school." – Jordyn

2. Family Dynamics, Alcoholism, and Loss

[05:27 - 07:01]

• Jordyn opens up about growing up with alcoholism in the family and the traumatic passing of her father due to a drunken fall.
• The experience colored her views on sobriety and shaped her strong opposition to alcohol.
• Quote [07:02]: "Alcohol has always been a trigger for me growing up. But I’ve gotten better with it the last three or four years." – Jordyn

3. Moving to Los Angeles and Early Independence

[08:05 - 11:31]

• Jordyn moved from Michigan to LA at age 14 to pursue dance and entertainment, splitting her life between the Midwest and Hollywood.
• Describes her childhood as a "dream," mainly dancing, training, and traveling for auditions.
• Her mother played a central role in supporting her burgeoning career.

4. The Toll of Fame and Therapy

[12:33 - 14:14]

• Fame is discussed as both a blessing and a source of stress and introversion.
• Jordyn notes her recent journey with therapy and the importance of mental health support.
• Quote [12:43]: "Fame will wear out your pleasures, especially, like, early. It can be hard unless you have a good therapist." – Dr. Amen

5. Trauma, Change, and Coping Mechanisms

[16:15 - 21:05]

• Jordyn details the sudden shift in her life after her father's death and her mother's temporary absence for her younger brother.
• Discusses coping by monitoring family members from LA using home cameras out of fear of repeating trauma.
• She mentions finally letting go and starting to focus on her own healing and therapy.

6. The Impact of Negative Thoughts

[22:30 - 31:56]

• Dr. Amen introduces the concept of ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) and their impact on self-worth.
• Jordyn shares struggles with feeling "not good enough," especially after a painful breakup.
• Quote [29:04]: "Probably just feeling like I wasn’t good enough." – Jordyn
• Dr. Amen leads Jordyn through a five-step process:
  1. Is the thought true?
  2. Is it absolutely true?
  3. How does the thought make you feel?
  4. How would you feel without the thought?
  5. Flip the thought to its opposite and find supporting evidence.
• Quote [30:24]: "Is it true I wasn’t good enough?"
• Jordyn realizes many negative beliefs are unfounded.

7. Naming Your Negative Thoughts

[33:52 - 39:31]:

• Dr. Amen suggests giving your mind a name to gain distance from spiraling thoughts.
• Jordyn first picks “Ocean” but lands on “Simba”—her mother’s dog known for incessant barking.
• Quote [38:59]: "Simba, he’s the only thing in this world that I would...say that to. He’s not even a person." – Jordyn
• The exercise helps Jordyn frame her mental chatter as something external and manageable.

8. Dealing With Trauma and Health After Injury

[39:32 - 44:58]:

• Jordyn recounts her car accident and a prior ATV flip, discussing how both might have affected her brain and memory.
• She reflects on periods of memory loss and the possible impact of trauma—noting difficulties with reading and focus.

9. Pursuing Happiness and Giving Permission

[45:24 - 47:42]

• Dr. Amen discusses happiness as a “moral obligation” due to its influence on loved ones.
• Encourages Jordyn, and listeners, to choose self-care, challenge negative beliefs, and accept their right to happiness.

10. Closing Reflections and Actionable Takeaways

[47:42 - End]

• Jordyn expresses gratitude for the insights and vows to continue therapy, try EMDR, and work on self-love.
• Dr. Amen encourages continued self-inquiry and to train the mind lovingly and firmly.
• Ends with practical advice on how to use thought-challenging exercises in daily life.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I was just doing the most…I wanted to wear what no one else was wearing in my school.” – Jordyn (00:15)
• “Alcohol has always been a trigger for me…But I’ve gotten better with it the last three or four years.” – Jordyn (07:02)
• “Fame will wear out your pleasures, especially, like, early. It can be hard unless you have a good therapist.” – Dr. Amen (12:43)
• “Probably just feeling like I wasn’t good enough.” – Jordyn (28:51)
• “Thoughts lie. They lie a lot. You don’t have to believe every stupid thing you think.” – Dr. Amen (29:16)
• “Give your mind a name.” – Dr. Amen (33:52)
• “Simba, he’s the only thing in this world that I would…say that to. He’s not even a person.” – Jordyn (38:59)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00 – 01:00: Jordyn describes her early drive and uniqueness as a child.
• 07:02 – 08:05: Discussion about alcoholism’s impact and father’s passing.
• 10:12 – 11:31: Early passion for dance and the family’s support.
• 12:33 – 14:14: The pressures of fame and starting therapy.
• 17:11 – 21:05: Coping with family loss and the development of anxious behaviors.
• 29:04 – 31:56: Challenging the "not good enough" thought with Dr. Amen’s process.
• 33:52 – 39:31: Naming negative thoughts; importance of separating identity from negative chatter.
• 39:32 – 44:58: Physical traumas and their impacts on memory and mental health.
• 45:24 – 47:42: Dr. Amen on happiness as an obligation and practical advice for self-care.

---

Key Takeaways & Tools

• Challenge Automatic Negative Thoughts: Write them down, question their truth, observe the emotional impact, and flip them to positive alternatives.
• Name the Mental Chatter: Assign your negative thinking a name (e.g., “Simba”) to create distance and reframe your inner dialogue.
• Address Trauma with Therapy: Explore treatments like EMDR for recent or childhood trauma.
• Recognize Happiness as Essential: Not just for self, but for the well-being of those you influence.
• Self-Care Is a Priority: Reflect regularly, practice gratitude, and purposefully build patterns of positive self-talk.

---

This episode is a deep, practical guide to reprogramming your mind for resilience, offering listeners concrete tools, honest personal stories, and permission to challenge the negative thoughts that hold them back.

Transcript

[A]

I was never sitting still. I was just doing the most. I mean, I was an entertainer through and through. I wanted to wear what no one else was wearing in my school. Like, I had shirts that said, call my agent in schoolcraft, Michigan. And no one is like that there. I was just, like, destined for Hollywood. Jordan.

[B]

Jordan. Jordan Jones.

[A]

She's an actress, a singer, a model, a dancer.

[B]

Today she discusses with Dr. Amen how.

[A]

To take back control of her happiness.

[B]

Tell me about the breakup.

[A]

He was more into the LA lifestyle and he started to dive into that more and more. Going out, drinking, smoking.

[B]

Well, that'll freak you out. You love people who do that. So your brain thinks that's normal. The front part of your brain that makes decisions goes wrong person because it's constantly triggering. The emotional part of your brain goes, oh, we're used to you, we love you. Are you disciplined in your thinking or do the negative thoughts sort of steal your happiness?

[A]

I would say.

[B]

Every day you are making your brain better or you are making it worse. Stay with us to learn how you can change your brain for the better every day. Are you struggling with anxiety, depression, obsessive thinking, past emotional trauma, ADHD or brain fog and don't know where to turn? Are your relationships a mess and you don't know why? Have you had a brain injury, concussion, or just don't feel the same after Covid? Is your memory worse than it was 10 years ago? Or do you have a parent or grandparent with dementia and want to work on prevention? Yes, prevention is possible, but the sooner you start, the better. For 35 years, we've been changing people's brains and their lives using brain spec imaging and a personalized, natural approach to brain and mental health care. And we have some of the best published outcomes anywhere. Go to amenclinics.com to learn more and when you call us, mention podcast 10 for a 10% discount. Welcome to Change youe Brain. Every day. Today we're going to have so much fun. I am here with Jordan Jones, who's a multifaceted American entertainer, singer, dancer, actress and digital creator who first gained national attention in 2012, is a finalist on Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. Jordan has built a dynamic career spanning music, film and social media. With over 22 million followers across Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook, Jordan has become a leading voice in the influencer space. Her journey from performer to mentor is both inspiring and empowering for anyone navigating today's evolving media landscape with impact. We're going to talk about Growing up with childhood fame. We're going to talk a little bit about children of alcoholics. We're gonna talk about concussions. We're gonna talk about not believing every stupid thing you think. And stay with us because you're gonna find out the name she gave her brain. So I saw the child star comment, and Miley's been. I've been her doctor for 15 years.

[A]

Okay. Wow. That might be the first thing you're gonna say this whole entire time. I'm sorry.

[B]

We just started. She said, but, you know, I work so hard and I didn't have much of a childhood. And I'm like, most people have a childhood and it sucks. And you got to do all these amazing things. Right. It's perspective.

[A]

See, I'm silent.

[B]

So it's such a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for doing this.

[A]

Thank you for having me.

[B]

Tell me your goal.

[A]

My goal is understanding myself more and becoming the best version of myself every day.

[B]

Tell me more.

[A]

I am such a strong believer in being, like, completely sober. And with my family's history, it's. That's completely different from mine and what I believe and just really taking, like, I'm serious about my health. I have become more serious as things have happened to me in my life or to my family. And so that's just, like, where I'm at with health and taking care of myself and. Yeah. Just becoming more aware of things and constantly, like, learning how this study. In this study, I'm really interested in it. And so we're completely aligned. Yeah.

[B]

There.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I studied children and grandchildren of alcoholics. And I'm sorry about the loss of your dad.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And. We're at a time where it's just evil and that you turn on the World series and there's 30 beer commercials and everywhere you go it's like, oh, this is fun. When it causes devastation.

[A]

Yeah, that's exactly.

[B]

Not to mention cancer.

[A]

So that is exactly my mindset. I, I find no fun. I find no enjoyment in that.

[B]

Yeah. It must trigger you.

[A]

Yeah, I, I don't. It's probably not a good thing that I absolutely judge it. I, I judge people who do it or especially family members who have seen the impact that has caused our family. And I'm like, why does this, why am I the only one who's, like, not participating in this or, like, I just, I, I, the thought process to me is wild. I don't understand why people drink or would, would go through something and then continue to. So I, I just have a really bad Idea of alcohol in me, like, instilled in me. So, yeah, that's like, one thing.

[B]

Where did that come from?

[A]

Probably just growing up. Family and the passing of my dad, for those who don't know, he passed away falling down the stairs while trying to drunk. And my little brother had to find them in the morning at the bottom of the stairs. But alcohol has always been a trigger for me growing up. But I've gotten better with it the last three or four years. Like, I would judge a friend, and I'm like, why would they do this? But it's like they're. They are their own person, they have their own thing. But I'm like, at the end of the day, I still don't. I don't align with it, but I've started to protect myself more with it. And people I do surround myself with because I've seen that that helps me with it. And instead of putting myself in scenarios where I. I know it's gonna trigger or hurt me or bring up things for me, so I try to protect myself more recently than in past years.

[B]

So where. Where did you grow up?

[A]

I grew up in Three Rivers, Michigan, and then I moved to LA when I was about 14 for the dance industry.

[B]

Is that by Kalamazoo?

[A]

It is. It's basically Kalamazoo, but the mitten, you know, down here.

[B]

I know where it is. Yeah, I have a family there, so my dad grew up in Michigan.

[A]

Oh, I love that.

[B]

It's way too cold. When he turned 18, he's like, Bye, California.

[A]

Yeah, I was 14. I'm like, Bye, guys.

[B]

And how many people in your family?

[A]

I have a little brother, older brother, older sister, mom, and then I have an uncle, two uncles, two aunts, grandma still living. So one grandma, one mom, obviously, but I feel like that's. That's like it for my immediate family.

[B]

And what was it like for you growing up?

[A]

I. I mean, I had a very. I had a dream childhood, most would say. My parents owned my dance studio. I got to go straight from school to dance. I was there all night long. I stayed extra to train in the dance studio. I went home, and it was the same exact routine every single day. So I was just dancing and training, and on the weekends, I would go to Detroit or Chicago to go to a convention. And so that's when I started to be, like, scouted by agents and stuff. But.

[B]

So how old were you when you knew that's what you wanted to do?

[A]

I mean, I can't even remember back then. Like, as soon as I Had as soon as I could move my leg, I was a dancer. Like, I. I was always in it. I was always in love with it. So it just. It just grew up with me, my love for it.

[B]

Your idea or your parents idea?

[A]

My mom put me in dance, gymnastics and twirling, and I did all of those until I decided which one I wanted to take over. So I guess that was about maybe four or five.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

But I did continue twirling a little bit because my mom was a twirler. But, yeah, I would say by about 8, I was only doing dance.

[B]

And by the time you were eight, you're like, oh, I'm gonna do this professionally? Yeah. Wow.

[A]

Yeah. I think by 11, I was already flying out to LA for auditions and callbacks and shoots. So I was.

[B]

And are there other dancers, actors in your family?

[A]

No, the only one.

[B]

So your parents saw something special? Yes, that they supported.

[A]

My mom said she named me my name because she thought it was like, she. She thought I was a star, so she wanted to make sure I have a star name. So I'm Jordan Jones. She just thought it was like the perfect star name. And so I literally.

[B]

Siblings have star name.

[A]

No, I don't.

[B]

And how were you as a kid?

[A]

I. What was your center of attention? I was. Look at me, look at me. I. I was never sitting still. I was always dancing. I was always. I was just doing the most. I mean, I was a entertainer through and through. I wanted to, I guess, just entertain and show off and wear what no one else was wearing in my school. Like, I had shirts that said, call my agent in Schoolcraft, Michigan. And these. No one. No one is like that there. So I. I was just, like, destined for Hollywood. And I don't know, that was just my personality. Which is funny because I feel like now I'm much more introverted. I'm much more.

[B]

Well, fame will do that to you. Fame will wear out your pleasures, especially, like, early. It can be hard unless you have a good therapist.

[A]

Yeah, I just started therapy this year.

[B]

I saw it and you said it was great.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Important for you. I have a word. It created some slides for us.

[A]

Okay. That.

[B]

Your goals, Forgetfulness, minor executive functioning challenges. We'll talk about that. Can be anxious and some depression. You hope through the scans to understand yourself better, sort of the whys and hows, and to alleviate your tendency to overthink. You do not have an obsessive brain, which is interesting. I thought it was going to be busier than it is.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I don't no, that could be the saffron you're taking, because saffron. I'm like a huge fan of saffron. Low mood since the breakup, but recently a little bit better.

[A]

Yes, recently better.

[B]

Anxiety, overthinker about everything. Worry about safety. You don't like living alone since your dad died, Paranoid about hidden cameras. That's. That's the fame thing. Because people post stuff like, you have no idea is so true. So it's not irrational. I have an exercise I like. Okay, so 25, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So five pages, 0 to 5, 5 to 10, 10 to 15 and so on. Draw a line down the middle on the left side, what awesome things happened. On the right side, what awful things happened. You do that. Bring it to your therapist.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And there's a treatment. Have you ever heard of emdr?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Specific psychological treatment for trauma.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so they'll, like, pick the top 10 traumas and they'll have your eyes go back and forth while you bring them up. It's miraculous.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I've always thought about it, processes it, and then dissipates. It's so good.

[A]

Okay. And.

[B]

And so helpful. So tell me a little bit more. So if we went 10 to 15, what was awesome in my life from those ages?

[A]

Yeah, my career. I was doing exactly. I was doing living my dream. I lived in California. This is a great exercise.

[B]

I.

[A]

Was always busy and doing something. I lived with my mom and my older brother, I believe. Yeah. And what was awful, probably being away from dad and little brother towards the end of that, Probably the just worry or. Or around drinking.

[B]

Were your parents separated?

[A]

No.

[B]

At the time. So they just chose. Because of your career.

[A]

So my little brother was still in school, so. And my dad's job was home, so my job. And my mom had to take care of me because she was the only one that didn't have a. A job. Job. So. So then she's with me. And then with the passing of my dad, then. And mind you, I couldn't drive by myself. I couldn't think by myself. My mom was like my absolute rock. Didn't know how to do laundry. Just. I was. Yeah. So I was fully in the drive or the passenger seat for everything. So when she. When he suddenly passed away, my mom had to then move home to care for my little brother. And so then I'm left in California because I still have to work, I still have to do my job. I. I chose to stay there. I could have left.

[B]

And you're 19.

[A]

About 19 at this point. So it's Like, I didn't realize it then. That change really affected me, of course, with my dad and then also basically with my mom. But I do talk to her way more frequently than I. I talk to my dad. And our relationship was still great.

[B]

Mind you, it's the unpredictability. The one thing children need so that their nervous system develops properly is reasonable predictability.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That mom is sort of like, this way and dad is this way, hopefully in a loving way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I always say firm and kind. So if you ever have children, think firm and kind and kind.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

At the same time. Yeah. See, unpredictability, Transformative therapy. I love that.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Which means you're a learner. You want to. Yes. You're curious, obviously, and you want to be your best.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So I'm a huge fan of that. And you take saffron and iron and vitamin C and magnesium and a little bit melatonin.

[A]

I don't even know what that means.

[B]

And one of the questions I have is, why the worry about your brother?

[A]

Oh, after the passing. Okay.

[B]

But there was a note in the history that there were cameras at home. You would call them a lot, and it was very stressful for you.

[A]

And I'm like, this was the most stressful. So I'm. I'm now alone in la, and I, I was already feeling helpless about my dad, where I, I, I didn't see the signs. I, I didn't. I couldn't help or fix or change, like, because I, that's who I am is, like, I just want to, like, fix and help and change. And like, if that's out of my control, I. I don't do well. So with my mom being home and drinking, I. We had a camera in the kitchen, and we had cameras, like, facing the, the front, facing, like, the cars in the driveway. And so I would want to. For a long time, I would watch the camera in the kitchen if my mom was going downstairs, where my dad had to go to go to bed. And I would, like, have my volume up to, like, make sure I don't hear, like, falling or just, like, making sure she gets down the stairs, because I'm so worried that Skyler's gonna have to go through the same thing again. And I'm. I can't do anything.

[B]

Completely traumatized by what happened.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Completely.

[B]

Yeah. Which you understand.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So after a while, I had to. My mom did stop drinking that Easter. But. So when she stopped, there was a, you know, a period where I, I still didn't trust it. I Was still waiting for, you know, her to get annoyed in the day and pick it up again at night. So there was still, you know, a long period, probably six months, where I just didn't trust that it was really over. And after a while, I believe it was actually only about a year and a half ago I logged out at the cameras. I'm like, I want peace. I do have much more trust. And I've voiced things to my older brother and younger brother and mom about.

[B]

How older is your younger brother?

[A]

He is two years younger than me. He's 23. Because I'm like, about to be 26. Am I trying to. So he's 23.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And he's married.

[B]

Good.

[A]

So good.

[B]

So he can be in charge of him.

[A]

Yes. So now I just feel like, you know, he's moved out. My mom's there. She's much. She's. She's toned it down a lot. So I just feel like I can like, kind of finally take care of myself and go to therapy and kind of start like, changing my mind and my brain and just trying to heal from the things I have gone through. That's kind of where I'm at after I've kind of let go of, like, the control or like the. The fear, even though I still have a little bit of it.

[B]

Did you know that physical and emotional pain run on the same circuits in the brain? And they feel fuel each other to keep you in pain? In my new book, change your brain, change your pain, I'll show you how to break free from what I call the doom loop and step into a healing loop that can transform your life. Less pain, more joy. It's absolutely possible. Pre order my new book now and receive special bonus gifts at Change your brain, change your pain book dot com. So what do you want?

[A]

Be more, like, carefree. I want to just kind of relax. Let's relax.

[B]

Tell me about the breakup.

[A]

The breakup, it was kind of a whole year process, maybe even a year and a half. It was. I was so fully attached with past relationships, I. I don't even think I was fully in love with them because I had everything else going on in my life. And with this, it was my 1 priority. It was my favorite thing. It was my escape. Like, I fully dove into him and his family. But I. I fully, like, dove in and like, felt safe because I guess being in L. A. Alone for all this time, I felt finally like I almost had a family. And I felt like, really included in everything. So I think that the reason it affected me so much is because I was so involved in it.

[B]

And, and how long were you guys together?

[A]

Two years, but it didn't really fully break till three. Only like three months ago or something. But.

[B]

And why did it break?

[A]

I started therapy this year and I just kind of felt like I was really trying to work on myself, work on the relationship, kind of understanding myself more almost for him. Like, why do I have such an anxious attachment? Why am I kind of like this when he was very different from me and like the way I like my thoughts, honestly, like we kind of just were on different pages, of course, and I think that was a lot about his age. But basically he was more into, let's say like the LA lifestyle and he started to dive into that more and more. As he did that, he pulled away from me more and more, maybe to protect me or to when he knew it wasn't my favorite thing.

[B]

You love people who do that. So your brain thinks that's normal.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And even though you're the front part of your brain that makes decisions, goes wrong person because it's constantly triggering.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The emotional part of your brain goes, oh, we're used to you, we love you.

[A]

Yeah. So yeah, it was really hard.

[B]

Oh, I bet that was hard.

[A]

Yeah. Because you know, it was.

[B]

Did you know that when you sort of fell in love with him?

[A]

No. So I kind of just watched him go from this like smart life together kind of person who was very solid for me, very this, which is why I, I opened up, why I felt safe, why I dove in, because I felt okay. This, this is what I, these are my hopes and dreams right here. So as time goes went by and I would say just mainly the last year of we're broken up, but we're still, I'm still at arm's length, I'm still strung along, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still like attached so that I'm not going to go find someone else. And during that time is when the kind of transition of the LA boy lifestyle took over and I was just like watching this person change that I never expected to. And then now it just doesn't align with me. And it took a long time for me to kind of get the self respect and get the, get like enough.

[B]

It's like the hardest thing. Yeah, it's just like the hardest thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When you attach and then you attach to their family and then you realize it's not good for you pulling away. The hardest thing is new love is like cocaine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like, whoa. But once you get attached, it's more like heroin. And so pulling that apart is so painful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I always say, be careful who you give your number two. I wrote a book once called the Brain in Love. And chapter six is how to interview someone on a first or second day to know if they have a good or not so good brain for you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, true.

[B]

I always think of my patients in four big circles. It's like, how's your brain? And what's the biology of your body? When's the last time you have lab work done?

[A]

October 24th. I know that because it was a Dodger World Series game.

[B]

Can you send it to me?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I want to see it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I haven't seen it. How your mind is. Are you disciplined in your thinker, in your thinking, or do you worry? Do the negative thoughts sort of steal your happiness?

[A]

I would say, oh. Overall, the first one, but with the relationship I feel like is where I kind of went to negative. I went to. I went the other way with it, but with my, like, job and my life and things that were separate from just that one thing, I feel like it's like I was very.

[B]

What was the worst thought?

[A]

What was the worst thought?

[B]

The worst one. The one that haunts you. The one that wakes you up like a zombie and.

[A]

Probably just feeling like I wasn't good enough.

[B]

Is that true?

[A]

No, I. I've taken time. I used to believe it. Yeah, used to believe it.

[B]

But see, one of the things I always want you to do from here on out for the rest of your life is when you get a thought that bothers you, write it down.

[A]

Okay. I'm a big writer.

[B]

And then take it through this process. Okay, so I talk about ants a lot. Automatic negative thoughts, the thoughts that come into your mind automatically and ruin your day. And thoughts lie. They lie a lot. You don't have to believe every stupid thing you think. And there's a verse in the New Testament about, take each thought captive. I love that so much. Take each thought captive. And so. And the different kind of ant species, like all or nothing. I'm not enough. That's an all or nothing thought. When, if. If we actually took that apart. You're enough in so many ways. There's mind reading ants, or fortune telling ants, or blame ants or labeling ants. And then if you write it down, see what kind of ant it is, and then hear the questions. Is it true I wasn't good enough? True or not true?

[A]

Not true.

[B]

Not true. The second question is it absolutely true. The 100% certainty. You know you are not enough. No. This is actually your generation's biggest aunt. I'm not enough.

[A]

Relatable.

[B]

The third question is, how does that thought make you feel?

[A]

Not good.

[B]

Terrible. Small.

[A]

Less than it, like, can consume you for years.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't want to be consumed by it anymore because it's not true.

[B]

The fourth question is, how would you feel if you didn't have the thought? If you couldn't have the thought?

[A]

Whoa. Great, great, great.

[B]

And so the fifth question. So the first question is, is it true? The second one, is it absolutely true? How does it make me feel? Because that means your anxiety, your worry is driven by a thought that's not true. Does that make sense? Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so the fifth question is, you take the original thought, I'm not enough, and you flip it to the opposite. Say I wasn't good enough. The opposite is I was good enough. And that's what you meditate on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So can you find any examples where you were good enough?

[A]

Where I was?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, tell me. Maybe even. I had a conversation with my mom today about brand deal I was filming and she said that was the best and most smooth you've ever sounded. Like that was, that was so good. Like you're a natural. And I was just like, wow. I got like a pat on the back of like someone kind of recognizing what I've done or I do, because I, I do feel like some people don't take my job seriously. So it, it's. Oh, you know, oh, you don't do anything. You know, I don't have a job or like anything like that.

[B]

So I, whenever I saw 25, you are so much more accomplished than most 25 year olds.

[A]

Right.

[B]

There's always someone who's going to hate.

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

And if you have social media, the haters are often bots in Russia or Eastern Europe. They aren't real, but they're part of the social media algorithm.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To get more engagement. Because people engage with hate more than they engage with happiness. And you end up victimized. And you have no idea that it has nothing to do with you. It just has to do with the insanity of the world we currently live in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, but that's the meditation. So if you write down 30 of your worst thoughts and then you do this process, your brain will start to discipline itself so that when you get a thought, you just go, well, is that true? You're like, no, that's not true. Stop it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or one of my favorite Techniques is give your mind a name. Right. So you begin to gain distance from the chatter, from the noise in your head. Like, I named.

[A]

That's just microphone talking. Right.

[B]

I named my mind after my pet raccoon who was a troublemaker.

[A]

You have a pet raccoon?

[B]

She was so cute. I loved her. She's the best way to pick up girls, too.

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Because. Because she was so beautiful.

[A]

I love raccoons. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I went to a pet store and they were in Encino, where I grew up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They. They were selling them. And she actually crawled up the back of my leg and played with my hair when I had hair. And, yeah, I took her home, got into all sorts of trouble, but she was a troublemaker. She TPed my mom's bathroom. She ate all the fish out of my sister's aquarium. She would leave raccoon poo in my shoes. That's my mind. It just stirs up trouble. And so metaphorically, when I would hear the storm of like, you're going in the cage. And now what I do is I just put her on her back and tickle her. I'm like, we're going to be fine.

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

Compared to death, this problem is not big.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yes. So discipline your mind, but lovingly. What good parents. They're firm and kind. They notice what you do. Right. And they teach you when you can do better.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Good coaches. Because you've had dancing coaches, you've had acting coaches. Right. The best ones notice what you do. Right. And they teach you when you can do better.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The bad ones notice what you do wrong and never let you forget it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And in your head, are you going to build a good parent, a good coach, a good teacher, but you have to train it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That way EMDR can help. There's another psychological treatment I like to. It's called istdp. Intensive Short Term dynamic Psychotherapy. So when you're feeling anxious, what that kind of therapist would go. So where do you feel it in your body? So how would you answer that when you get anxious?

[A]

Okay, mind and heart, maybe, and, like, I get shaky.

[B]

Shaky. And if that feeling could come up and out of your body, where would it go? Hmm.

[A]

I mean, not my mouth because I don't express things well, I don't know. Just, like, away.

[B]

Who would it come out at?

[A]

No one.

[B]

No one?

[A]

No one.

[B]

So not your dad, not your mom? If it did, how would you express it?

[A]

I don't even. I've never felt. Well, I guess I've maybe felt it, but I've never been angry or mad or yelled at anyone in my life. I've never swore at someone, so I don't even. I don't even know how I would.

[B]

Well, no wonder you're anxious.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Right? Because probably I could convince you you're really furious.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For the unpredictable.

[A]

I'll smile through it because that's all I know how to do.

[B]

Yeah. That would be great to get in touch with some of the rage. It's not going to kill you. It'll probably relax you.

[A]

Yeah. I.

[B]

If you could give your mind a name, what would you give it? What name would you give it?

[A]

I would give it Ocean.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because I love the ocean. And it was the first thing that came to my mind.

[B]

And could you tell it to shut up? Yeah.

[A]

No.

[B]

So what name could you tell the.

[A]

Shut up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, goodness. Simba.

[B]

Simba, huh? Simba from the Lion King?

[A]

No, my mom's dog that barked and barked and barked and barked until he died.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

So he's the only thing in this world that I would be on FaceTime with her and I'd hear him. I shut up. Simba. He's the only person I said that to. He's not even a person.

[B]

So that's so funny.

[A]

Is my friend.

[B]

Because Julius Randall, who I talked to you about, my basketball player, is. Mine's name is Teddy. Because it's after his dog that won't shut up. Yes.

[A]

It's the only.

[B]

It's like it's my mind, it just won't shut up.

[A]

Yes. Yes. Simba. He won't. He.

[B]

And so he doesn't listen to it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you don't have to believe every stupid thing you think. And just because you have a thought, it could come from the music you listen to or the television shows you watch, or the voice of a director or. And it might not even be yours. And I just always want you to go. Is that true? I want you to live in truth.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You were in a car accident. Tell me about that.

[A]

I was driving in my Tesla, and someone ran a red light and hit me on my rear quarter panel in the back. So I, like, did a 180, landed up on the sidewalk, and I, like, took down the whole, like, light pole.

[B]

Oh, that's a big.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Impact.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Like the, like, crazy.

[B]

Airbag deployed.

[A]

No airbags. No airbag, no airbags. I grabbed my phone, started recording, got out of the car. No pain. No. Everyone was just like, we're fine. And I. My neck was Just like a little sore.

[B]

But when was this?

[A]

2022, three years ago? Yes. Yeah. And with that, with. With the turn, it was kind of like collar bone, which is. It still protrudes to this day. And like ribs. Nothing was ever found broken. But I also didn't go to get testing for. Till the year later when it started getting cold out. I realized, oh, wow. I'm like, really? I could barely move. And that's when I learned that that's when. That's why people vacate south for the winters, because it's. Their bodies hurt so much in Michigan. And I was like, oh, wow. Maybe from this car accident. I'm now kind of feeling how bad I got affected by it. But I've felt pretty good the last, like two years. A year. But I. Yeah, I never went to get, like, testing initially, so.

[B]

So you were going how fast when that happened?

[A]

Like 15 miles per hour.

[B]

Well, I can see some sort of trauma in your brain.

[A]

Oh, you can?

[B]

Yeah. Wow. Any other false fights?

[A]

I flipped a four wheeler one time.

[B]

Oh, when was that?

[A]

Six months before the car accident.

[B]

Oh, so you had two.

[A]

Pretty bad. That was pretty bad.

[B]

Where was that at?

[A]

Michigan. Yeah.

[B]

Flipped a four wheel.

[A]

Yeah, I hit concrete and flipped. It didn't land on top of me. It almost did.

[B]

So describe it for me.

[A]

I was driving the four wheeler, filming on my phone, so I only had one hand and I came right up to concrete. That was like a pile of concrete that we had on our farm. And I just hit it and then.

[B]

Got like thrown, flipped and you fell on your back. You fell on.

[A]

I landed on my back. I, like, had to, like, stay there for like five or 10 minutes because I was like. Like, I just thought, like, I thought my whole body was not there. You know what I mean? I was like, out of body experience. I just remember my little brother, like, coming over to me and like, trying to get me up. But I was like, I need to stay down for a second. And then I. That was like more so, like again, like these parts. So it kind of like got worse from the car accident. But yeah, I did go initially. I did go right away to get testing and nothing was. They weren't.

[B]

And the memory problems you have since you were a child or since 2022.

[A]

Been pretty fine since. It was more so bad then, like, I can't. I would have to see a picture to remember something or a video. I have a photographic memory. But I. There will be instances where even if I'm dating someone, they'll be like, oh, do you know that guy? And I'm literally like, no. And I've fully kissed him. I'm like, I don't. I do not remember this. It's like, I. I either block it out. I.

[B]

They were not memorable.

[A]

They were not memorable. Like, there. There was, like, six months of my life. I think it was like, 2021 to Christmas. Now I don't even know. Like, I say 2021 till, like, May 2022. I'm like, I don't even know who I was with, what I was doing. And then I'll see things or people will confront me about things.

[B]

I'm like, I never had no alcohol involved.

[A]

No alcohol. This is why I'm like, imagine if I drank. I. I have. I think I have an addictive personality, which is a main reason why I never did it. Like, younger, because I'm like, oh, I'm just going to, like, keep doing it every single day. Because I. I go to Starbucks every single day or I go to Jamba Juice. Like, just things I, like, pick up that I can't ever stop. I'm very, like, repetitive with my things in my life. Like, I don't do change well. But anyways, yeah, I. I'd have to see a photo to be like, oh, my gosh, I was there. Or. And then I'm a fraud because I'm, like, out here lying. But it's. I just don't remember. So that year, that memory was not good at all. But childhood with, like, dancing and stuff, I don't remember much at all.

[B]

Do you like to read or is it hard for you?

[A]

Hard? I don't like to read. I bought the Let Them theory, Mel Robbins. I got to page 50 and I'm like, I can't. I can't. I bring it on every trip, on every airplane, and I just don't.

[B]

So if we get your brain better, you're going to like to read.

[A]

I am. I am going to like to read, yeah.

[B]

I have a book called you happier, about happiness. And part of it is not believing every stupid thing. You think you deserve to be happy. When you have that kind of childhood, you often think you don't. And you can be hard on yourself, but you deserve to be happy. In fact, I think happiness is a moral obligation. Why? Because of how you influence the people around you. And when you're miserable, it's stressful, right? Stressful for you, but it's stressful for the people who love you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so what makes people happy? Being purposeful.

[A]

Being.

[B]

Doing something good.

[A]

For others. Yeah. And.

[B]

But also not believing every stupid thing you think to eating right. The. I mean, I'm totally with you on sobriety. The. The. Don't worry, be happy. People die the earliest from accidents and preventable illnesses. The conscientious people like you say you're going to show up, and you show up, but consistently, reliably, predictably, you live longer than everybody else.

[A]

Great. Love to hear that.

[B]

All right, so what'd you learn?

[A]

I learned a lot. I'm so, so blown away by this. This was awesome. I mean, I. I remembered I had a concussion. That's one. And how serious those are and how much they impact and affect you. I learned. I have been interested in doing edmr, so I'm definitely going to take your advice and do that. But I learned. I learned a lot. And maybe having to check estrogen because I'm bossy. So that's gonna be. That's gonna be something to see. But so, yeah, all of your recommendations. And I'm, like, just blown away by what I've discovered. And I think it's cool. I have a pretty plump brain that we're going to even make better. We're going to plump it up even more. So that's exciting.

[B]

You have a beautiful brain. So do you love it even more than you did before you came today?

[A]

Yes. Simba. I love Simba. Now I'm going to. I'm going to be. Be talking to Simba some more and.

[B]

Not believing every stupid thing you think. Right. Just go set true in the 12th. Like, I have no tattoos, but if I did, it would be is it true? And then 12 things have to go wrong before you get upset.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Learn that you will be the most flexible person. I mean, as a dancer, you're already flexible. Yeah, right?

[A]

Yep. This is awesome.

[B]

Your brain matters. Amen. Clinics helps people with brain scans and targeted treatment across 11 cities. Atlanta, Chicago, Dallas, D.C. miami, New York, Seattle, Scottsdale, Los Angeles, Orange County, California and San Francisco. Learn more at amenclinics.com all right, you've been watching Change youe Brain every day with Jordan Jones, and she has a beautiful brain and going to make it better. Leave us a comment Question Review subscribe so grateful you're with us.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you.