Avery Woods (0:02)

Hi, welcome to Cheers. I'm your host, Avery Woods. The following episode contains sensitive topics of suicide that could potentially trigger emotional distress or discomfort. Please listen with caution. Remember, it's okay to take a break or skip the episode if needed. Hi, guys. Welcome back to the Cheers podcast. I'm your host, Avery woods, and we are solo today. We're gonna do a little catch up, life update, talk about some pop culture things, you know, just me catching up with my favorite people, which is you guys. And honestly, if you're watching this, I'm really sorry for my appearance. I. David was golfing this morning, and I took the golf cart with the kids around the neighborhood all morning to different parks. We got breakfast, and the ice cream truck came by, and I looked down at my shirt and I'm, like, covered in crusted, dried ice cream. So I'm really sorry about my appearance, but that's just mom life for you, okay? David took over the kids and it was time to record. So I'm in my cozy little Mayfair set, which a lot of you guys have been asking if we are restocking it. Yes. The answer is yes. And we haven't officially announced it, but it is coming and hopefully another collection soon. But I just felt so bad that we sold out in 22 minutes before it was even open to the public. And I know a lot of you guys weren't able to get your hands on them, and I just want to make sure you guys are able to if you would like to, because they're so cozy and cute and especially now that the weather is cooling off. It's so nice, especially in Arizona. It's been high 90s. Actually, it is going to be high 90s again next week, which sucks. But it did rain the other day, and so everyone in Arizona is freaking out about the nice, cozy fall weather. So any who says we're just chill today, but I want to talk about a few different things, one of them being what recently happened. And that was Liam Payne passing away from One Direction. And I don't usually touch on pop culture topics. That's just not what my podcast is about. But I. This whole situation makes me so, so sad. And I think it's really tragic when something like this happens. And of course, it's so public because he's a massive superstar, but when people take something that is so tragic and they try to turn it into comedy. And Scott and I were just talking about how we're so bothered by the amount of people that are making jokes about it, and I think people don't really understand from an outside perspective that these aren't things or objects, they're human beings. And I feel like in this industry that gets confused a lot and you don't know the demons happening behind the scenes. And also him growing up in the spotlight, obviously he was in one direction very young, so he's grown up in this industry. And, you know, after the band broke up, they talked about how his nice guy characteristic that he was kind of given to portray was gone. And obviously the photos from the hotel room got leaked. And actually the first person I was showing was David, because obviously with his law enforcement background, he could identify the drugs that he was on. And it just sounds like a very sad, manic situation. And I knew he had a son, but I didn't know his son's mother was Cheryl Cole, who I think is so stunning and talented. And I know there's like, drama with that situation, but again, I'm not going to speak on something I'm not educated on and don't know the personal details of because I have learned what that feels like personally, where people assume things or make up things about your life, and it's just not true. So I'm never gonna feed into that drama. But it's just so sad to me that he was so manic on drugs and going to drugs to, you know, maybe cope with whatever he was going through in his personal life. And the autopsy results were actually just released a couple hours ago, and David said that they released that he was pretty much unconscious before he fell, and they were able to determine that. So I don't know if he fell, if he chose to jump when he was not in his right mind on drugs, but it just breaks my heart. And I also think I've always been very naive to substance abuse in this industry. And obviously when I say this industry, I'm not a part of the huge celebrity industry that there is, but obviously I'm familiar with certain drugs and substance abuse from one, my background as a nurse, and two, David's family having substance abuse problems, which is why, you know, we unfortunately don't have a relationship with them anymore. But David also dealt with a lot of substance abuse issues when it came to law enforcement and seeing that on the streets. But I was very naive to the amount of people that were participating in certain substances in, like, the social media celebrity realm because it's not really talked about. But now attending events and brand trips and parties, I see it with my own eyes and I'm like, wow, this is like a Regular thing that I've never really been exposed to. I went to community college for two years, and then I went to a private nursing school, and David and I were married and lived at home. Like, I never lived in dorms. I never lived college life. So I didn't even enjoy the taste of alcohol until probably after Stevie was born. To be honest, even after Ziggy was born, I would plug my nose to take a shot. I was such a baby when I came to alcohol. And then, besides marijuana, I've never tried any other drugs. Like, even after my C section with Stevie, I only took Tylenol and ibuprofen because I know opioids make me super constipated. Sorry, that's so TMI and gross. But that's just how it is. So I just have never experimented with anything else. And so looking back now, when I remember, like, Michael Jackson passing away, Whitney Houston, you know, going all the way back to, like, Marilyn Monroe, These are things that are so common in this industry, and it's just so heartbreaking that it takes over their entire life. And I just. I feel for him so much. I feel for his son and his girlfriend and his family and the mother of his child. And I just. I just wish people didn't take huge pop culture events and tragedies like that and try to get clickbait from it by joking. Like, Scott was telling me he saw a video of a girl pretending to, like, jump off a balcony in a hotel. Like, that's disgusting. I don't. I don't agree with that. And so it's just so tragic. And I wasn't a huge, like, One Direction stand, but obviously I knew who they were and I knew who he was. And it's always just. It's always just a shock when, you know, such a tragedy happens to someone that so many people loved and idolized. So I'm just thinking about him, and I just wanted to talk about it on this episode. All right. The other thing I really want to talk about is the Menendez brothers. And I kind of contemplated talking about this or not, because obviously the Netflix show was released. It's probably been like, what, a month now? And David and I binged it. But one. One fun fact about me is I am obsessed with crimes, like certain crime events, series, and I'm talking, like, true, actual crimes that have happened, all non fiction. And I'll. I'll become obsessive and, like, go down a rabbit hole and like, JonBenet Ramsey. Oh, my God, that gets me off. I love that kind of stuff. And I don't know if it's because I like to put together the dots and, like, try to be an investigator, but I'm always so interested in the details behind it, what happened before the crime, the reason that they did it. And by no means at all am I condemning murder, which is why I didn't want to talk about it in the first place, because I know a lot of people are very non understanding, I guess, of certain situations, like Gypsy Rose or the Menendez brothers, because it's murder, and I understand that. And murder is wrong. And I'm in no way saying I'm. No, I'm. I'm in no way patting them on the back for what they did or saying, like, good job. You should have done this. No. Was there a better way to go about it? Of course. But I also empathize from so many different patients that I took care of in the PICU that were affected the way that those brothers were affected. And what just kills me inside is the fact that it wasn't until recently that they found a letter that I cannot remember. I think it was Eric had written to a cousin. I can't remember if it was Eric or Lyle. I think it was Eric before the murder ever happened, talking to his cousin about the sexual abuse. And no one ever knew that. And that, I'm sorry, but that would have made her break this trial. Like, if that was presented back then to the jury. At that time, it was just hearsay of the abuse. And obviously, from my perspective, you cannot fake that emotion on the stand. You cannot pretend like something like that happened. You could. You can just tell, especially in a man, how much they were traumatized and how long it took them to finally speak about it to their lawyers. I just knew it wasn't fake. And even before this was a huge viral topic of discussion and before this Netflix series came out, I had been obsessed with the Menendez brothers years ago because I can't remember how it came up. Maybe it was like a docu series or something I had watched, but I went down a rabbit hole and I did all this research. And obviously back in that time, it was very difficult for people to understand that men were sexually abused. And there's something I do want to talk about after I go past the Menendez case that I've experienced with patients that were males that were sexually abused, which is why it really bothers me so much. But it's just sad to me that that letter was never brought forward, because I really do think that would have made the jury either not guilty or maybe manslaughter instead of. Was it first degree? I believe it was first degree because it was life in prison. But where I'm going with that is I do not believe that they should have spent their entire life in prison. And I say that as an empathetic mother. I say that as the mother of a son. I. If I ever, ever found out about my children being sexually abused, I would also be in jail for first degree murder. I'm just gonna say it like, and when you grow up, and that's all they've ever known, but then they become adults. Well, Eric was all almost an adult. He had no way to escape. And then you hear about the fact that he wanted to go to college somewhere else and leave, and he's like, that's my way out. Like, I just have to wait another year, go through a year of, you know, this awful sexual abuse and assault, and I can leave. And his dad said, no, you're going to this college because I need you to stay at home. And then in his head, he's like, I'm stuck here another four years. I can't do it anymore. And which is why he told Ly what was happening. So I love that Kim Kardashian is. She visited them in prison in San Diego, which I think is kind of nuts that they're in prison in San Diego. I did not realize that, especially because we lived there, but she went and talked to them. And I know the actor that played Eric Menendez. What's his name again? Cooper. Yeah, his name's Cooper Kutch, I think, which love him. He absolutely slayed that role. They both did. And I love that he's so involved with the actual real life case. I really respect that. And I think actors that do that, kudos to them, because I do think it's extremely important to be educated and knowledgeable about the role you're playing and meet the person that you're playing, because it should be real, right? It should be as close to the truth as possible. And I know people had a lot of controversy or opinions, I should say, about the Netflix series that came out, because apparently that there. There was a lot of misinformation. And I do believe that they could have done maybe a bit of a better job of showing the boys in a more empathetic way. But again, it's a show. It's reviews. It's. That's just how it is in that production world. But I love that Kim is being so involved and that they are reopening the case. And it shatters my heart that they are. I believe they're in their mid-50s. I think they're, like, in their 50s at this point. It's just. I can't even imagine spending that much life in prison, especially after that had happened to you. And again, you talk to them, they're like, I should have. I should have never killed my parents. Like, I. If I could take it back, I would, of course. But again, they probably felt cornered. And unless you're in that situation, I don't feel like you have the right to judge, because your entire life, being sexually assaulted by your parents who are supposed to be protecting you, that's the one job, right? It's. It's what people talk about, how they don't want their kids to go to sleepovers. That's how I feel. My kids will never go to sleepovers, ever, unless it's like, family. Because when they're out of your house, you. You are unable to protect them. But it's the two people in life, in this world that should be protecting them. And they're doing the most disgusting, violating things to their boys at such a young age. It just makes me sick to my stomach. And I think about Ziggy turning six in two weeks, and that was the age that he started his son. I just. Oh, it makes me sick. So, on a positive note, they're reopening the case. I hope that goes well for them and that they can live out the rest of their days and, you know, find some peace and closure with the. The cards that they've been dealt. But again, I'm not condemning murder. I'm not saying murder is an okay thing, obviously, But I think about what people had talked about with Gypsy Rose, and that's. Obviously, people know that case, but her mom, you know, forcing her to pretend to be sick and have all these disabilities to get attention and a lot of money. She had Munch House and Proxy, and I actually had patients that their parents had that. And it's crazy. Like, these people are mentally ill. It was one of those things that I. If you guys are familiar with the Sixth Sense, I love the Sixth Sense. And that's one of the girls, one of the ghosts that comes to him. She obviously died, and it was because her mom was putting poison in her soup to keep her ill, because she loved the attention. And so she comes to this boy who can speak to dead people, and he tells the truth to the dad because she had recorded it, saying, like, she. The mom had killed the girl. And that's like an extreme case of what Gypsy Rose's mom had. And I remember watching the Sixth Sense when I was younger, and I was like, that's crazy. That can't be real. And then I got actual patients in the PICU where that was the case. One example I'll actually give you is, obviously, I'm not going to break hipaa. I'm not going to give any names, but I had a patient, she was a teenager. I was actually the SWAT nurse this day, so I was the nurse for the entire pediatric tower. So the SWAT nurse is usually a nurse that works in the picu, but they're basically a resource. So you help in the ER, the NICU, the PICU, oncology med surg. You'll help with IVs. If they can't get a line, you'll go to codes, rapid responses, that kind of thing. And there was a really sweet traveling nurse, and she had this patient that was a new diagnosed cancer patient. I can't even remember the type of cancer it is at this point, actually. But she was an oncology patient. She had just been diagnosed and just received her first round of chemo. So she had been hospitalized for like maybe 48 hours. And this nurse hadn't taken a lunch yet. So I went to watch her patient while she went to take a lunch. And the nurse pulled me aside and she said, hey, I want you to kind of monitor this mom, because she is telling the daughter she needs to shave her head. Her. Her entire head of hair today. And she's only had one round of chemo. She's not losing any hair yet. And she is very adamant about certain pictures and videos being made for GoFundMe. And that was another issue that we dealt with in the PICU was. And I'm not saying this is everyone, but we did see a lot of families that they would have GoFundMe to raise money. And the majority of their stories were either a lie or a stretch of the truth because they wanted sympathy to get money. And I completely understand when tragic things happen and your kids are super sick and you're overwhelmed with hospital bills and you need help. There is nothing wrong with that. I donate to GoFundMes on a weekly basis when I see them, especially if I know it personally or I just send the people money, because GoFundMe takes, I think, three and a half percent of whatever donations they receive, which is crazy. And so I said, okay, I'll keep an eye. And this patient was walkie talkie, meaning they weren't intubated. They weren't. They didn't need eyes on all the time. And she was paired with another patient. So she had two patients. We had this girl, and then this other patient needed a lab draw. So I went in the other room and I did a lab draw. And I came back and I see this patient hysterically crying, begging her mom, saying, please, mom, stop. And she is shaving her head. I. It took everything in me not to cuss that mom out. And I. I understand at some point her hair is going to fall out, but when you're a teenager and looks are important and your image is important, and you go through finding your identity and then you have to lose all your hair and you're dying of cancer, the only parent's job is just to support and love her. And she was so hysterical. And I went in there and I said, what is going on? What's. What's happening here? And she's like, well, she's gonna lose her hair anyway. And I looked at her and I said, but she's not losing her hair yet. Why are you shaving her head? She clearly is upset. She doesn't want her head shaved. And half her hair was already gone, so she finished it. And then the nurse had told me later that they were, oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's not right. We had moved her because she went from pick you, I believe, up to oncology because she didn't need ICU care at that time. And so she had a bunch of stuff. So I. Because I was SWAT that day. I had helped her up and mom was pushing. No, her friend was pushing her in the wheelchair. And this girl was so hysterical. And the mom is just filming the whole time. She's like, oh, yeah, we're going up to oncology. Like, she's filming because she was bald then. It made me physically ill. And that is an example of the type of parents that, like Gypsy Rose Blanchard had. That was her mom, right? Shaved her head, bathed her in a tub, made her in a go in a wheelchair, said she couldn't walk. She had a feeding tube, which I still am shocked that a doctor put a feeding tube in when she was very much able to eat. But of course, Gypsy is so brainwashed by her mom that she is going to say whatever needs to be said to please her mom and get this feeding tube. So that is. That just breaks my heart. And I think, again, I'm not condemning murder, but I think kids like that sometimes feel backed into A corner, like they don't have anything else to do. Right. But then I also think about the details of that case. And if I'm not mistaken, I believe Gypsy and her boyfriend had sex in the same bed that her dead mother's body was in. Isn't that true? Yeah, that was what was released. And then I think about the Menendez brothers. And Gypsy was released after eight years in prison. I think she served eight years. And is that right, Scott? Yeah, eight years. And then the Menendez brothers have been in for 30 something. And that's just wild to me. I'm like, what, what's missing here? Like one extreme to the other. I just don't get it. And I want to go back too, because I'm going to give you another example of what I've seen in the hospital. And I want to talk about this case because it was public record. It was a very big local thing here in Arizona. And anyone that lives here is aware. But Hamilton High School, my, my kids will never go to Hamilton High School. This shattered me more than anything. And it reminds me a lot of the Menendez brothers case. So you can look up this case. So Hamilton High School, one of the best football teams in the state of Arizona. They've always been huge into sports. And it's a very wealthy school, meaning a lot of the kids there have a lot of money or they're recruited there or play football or a sport there because it's a good school and they know that recruiters are going to come look at their performance and give them scholarships. So to make a very long story short, and again, you can look it up and read the details, there was years and years of hazing happening where seniors were doing extremely disgusting sexual things to freshman boys on the football team. And for example, it was with broomsticks. It was the seniors were pooping in their own hands, shoving their poop up these freshman boys but holes and putting duct tape over them so they weren't able to get it out. They were recording all of this on Snapchat, by the way, for years and sending them out to the school. The superintendent was aware of it. The principal was aware of it. The football coaches were aware of it. There were years of letters and emails written by parents concerned about what was going on. And it got to a point where one mama bear who this would be me, because none of these kids were talking their parents about it because they were so scared, because they were being hate. Like if they ever talked about it, they were probably being threatened by these Older kids. And honestly, when you're a freshman, you're like 14, 15 years old, right? They were probably so embarrassed, so ashamed, so afraid, and they just wanted to fit in in high school. It's their first year in high school, and one mom knew something wasn't right with her son and finally got it out of him. And this finally came like under investigation. And they tracked down years of proof of this happening. And I took care of some of those boys years later. And they were. This happened to them at 14. I took care of them. Obviously Picky was up to age 17. I can't remember exactly how old they were, but it was years later. And every patient I took care of that was affected by that was attempting suicide. Every single one of them wanted to die years later. Even after counseling, after their parents like, were. They were paid out millions of dollars. And I know that those. That money was put into accounts for those kids access. When they were 18, they were in behavioral health centers because they were on suicide watch because they wanted to take their own lives. I mean, it was tragic. It was. It was awful. And talking to these boys about what had happened to them was so devastating. And so I just think about the Menendez brothers and how it was their own father and their mom knew about it. It just breaks my heart. I just think it's so disgusting that we are. That society is so just confused or in denial that sexual assault can happen to men because it happens so much to men. It's just not spoken about as much. Right. And you always hear about women being drugged and obviously all this Diddy stuff happening. It's horrible. It's tragic. Nothing about it is right. But you just don't hear about it as much with men and boys. And obviously when the Menendez brothers case happened, that was a huge, almost like shock for society to hear, and that's why so many people were in disbelief about it. But I think, you know, we've gotten a little bit better in society realizing that it can also happen to boys and men. And those boys I took care of, I just think about them. I think about them all the time. All the time. I think about them probably on a weekly basis because I'll never forget the things that they said to me, the things that their parents said to me, and that they'll be affected by that forever. And it just doesn't matter where you come from, how much money you have, how successful your parents are, what your status is, if something like that happens to you, that tragic, you will do whatever it takes for it to stop, Whether that means you take it out on the person that affected you, like the Menendez brothers killing their parents, or you want to end your own life because you want it to stop. All those thoughts in your head. And what kills me inside is that the boys that were doing this to those freshmen, I think they got like six months probation and their parents paid off those families. It's disgusting. It's disgusting to me. I'm like, you should have gotten life in prison. I don't care if you were 17 years old and you're considered a minor. That's an adult decision that you made and you ruined multiple men, boys, lives. You deserve jail forever. So, anyways, that is my thoughts on the Menendez brothers, on the Gypsy Rose case. I just seeing. Seeing those families and victims with my own eyes and taking care of them. Just things that aren't on the news and aren't such a big, you know, viral thing that people are talking about. That's just my personal opinion about it. And again, I'm not condemning murder. I'm not saying, yeah, Eric and Lyle, you should have killed your parents. No, I'm not saying that. I just think that they deserve a second chance, and I'm glad that that might be happening soon. So, hey, Eric and Lyle, when you get out of jail, come on the Cheers podcast. I'd love to chat with kind of on that same subject of hate and harassment and you know, what Liam was going through. I. I think it's just one of those things that it doesn't matter what your status is, how much money you have, if stuff like that is happening to you. And you also, in like a social media, media in general type sense, it doesn't matter who you are. You're affected by what people say about you, whether it's true or not. And I know that from personal experience, because the times that I've been the most affected by people hating me on the Internet was pretty much all about stuff that was never even true or just completely made up. And I think that's the most frustrating part, is that you just feel out of control and that it really drives you to a dark place. And Remy Bader, who I love so much, she's a close friend of mine and like her, her mom, I love them so much. She is such a light. And she made a video today, and she was talking about. She actually used my name as an example, as well as multiple other creators. She's talking about how, you know, she was scrolling on her for you page and a Bunch of videos popped up. Well, she had texted me this. A bunch of videos had popped up, like, about her. Like, hate videos about her. And I tell my friends all the time, I stopped scrolling a long time ago. I hardly scroll anymore. And that is to 100 protect my piece because nine times out of 10, I'll scroll on my for you page and it's someone either making a video about me stitching a video I made, or someone talking shit about something and then I'm tagged in all the comments, whatever the case may be, right? Or people love to copyright infringe all of our podcast clips and chop out things that I say and take stuff completely out of context. And then they like to make monetization of money on Tick Tock by talking me because they know the comments are going to go off. That pisses me off anyways. Remy was talking about how healthy it is to block people. Like, I don't know why people are so weirded out when they get blocked. Like, oh, well, you blocked me on TikTok. Can you unblock me? No. If I blocked you, I blocked you for a reason. Like, you gave me a reason to block you. I'm sorry. And it's probably because I saw a comment or a mention you had put on someone else's video and you probably didn't think I saw and I blocked your ass because you don't have a right to see my. And Alex Hazen, who I love so much, Scotty, was telling me about how she made a video about Liam saying if he was on drugs and he was coping with whatever he was going through, it's because he reads the shit that you guys say about him. Like, he reads what's being said and the stuff that people make up. And sometimes you just want it to end. And unfortunately, you want it to end by taking your own life or being on so many awful substances that you just don't feel anymore and it drives you insane. And it's just so sad that this world has gone to that, because mentally, well, people know that if someone's content or someone you don't like isn't for you, then you can just block them. But instead they want to hate them so much, to the point where they want to drive that person to look in the mirror and say, I don't like myself anymore, which is so sad. You know, I actually got a notification on Tick Tock today that said for World Mental Health Day, you've been invited for a six month free membership of a mental health app. So, like, a bunch of large creators get this invite. How sad is that? How sad is that? That social media is such a dark and cruel place now for content creators that they have to give us a six month free membership to make sure our mental health is okay. That is so sad because it didn't used to be like that and now it is and I think it's just awful. So I think a year ago, well, a year ago, yeah, I would say. No, I would say about a year and a half, almost two years ago was the first time in my life I ever wanted to take my own life. And that was a mix between I had a falling out with a group of people and it was the worst time of my life that I. That was the first time that I ever thought in my, like, made a plan. And I thought in my head, like, oh, makes me so sad what happened. And the way that I was treated made me think in my head that leaving my family and my kids was the best option. And that is like thinking about that now makes me so sad to think about my kids not having a mom, you know, or like doing that to my husband. That's not fair to them. But in combination with what happened in my personal life and also that was when I blew up on TikTok in this month of February. I think I gained a million followers just in 30 days. And it was also exciting and fun. But then that's when I realized, like, oh my God, people are so mean. Like so, so mean. And I was always like a very, I'm a tough, like stuff doesn't affect me, it's not a big deal. But then when. Thank you, Scott. Then when it did affect me and it didn't matter what I did, I was just hated. And it was anything from making up rumors about like, oh, the first thing that made me so upset was saying that I got fired from the picu, which was so far from the truth. And I was never even in trou. Like I was such a great employee and a great nurse and I could have sued the out of that hospital, mind you, for discrimination. But I didn't and I left on great terms. I had my letter of resignation written up for months before I ever even submitted it because it was such a difficult decision for me and I loved my job so much and I'm still great friends with my old manager who knows that entire story. I should have her on just to prove, prove people wrong honestly at this point. But that really affected me. The type of mom I was affected me. Comments about my body and I'm like, God, it doesn't matter what I do. My husband being gay, like, so many things, which I'm like, first of all, no. Second of all, why the do people think it's okay to talk about someone's sexuality? It's just beyond me. And Aspen and I talked about that. It's just really sick to me. But that was. That in combination with what was going on. My personal life was when I was like, it would just be easier if I wasn't. If I just didn't have to wake up. Because it was the first time in my life where I understood what people meant, when the only thing that really made it go away was sleeping. And that was when I was drinking very heavily and I was drinking like three to four glasses of wine a night and just passing out because I didn't dream, I didn't do anything. It was just like a relief. And then every morning I woke up. It was like that pit in your stomach every single day. But I still had to work. I was working full time and doing social media and raising my kids and trying to be strong for them. It was just really, really hard. And this was early 2023, like, February 2023 was when all this happened. And I just have gotten to a point now where it's best just to protect my peace, which is why I don't scroll a lot. I block anyone that gives me even an inkling of negativity because I'm going to protect my peace for my family. And I have the right to do that. Everyone does in this industry. And so I think it's always just a wake up call when things like this happen, like with Liam, where you just don't know the full story and you just don't know what's going on and you just don't know what the words that you said, like, who they're going to be read by. Because in. In people's heads, they're probably thinking, oh, they'll never see this. He'll never see this. He's a big celebrity. She'll never see this. She's a massive content creator. But sometimes we do. And you don't understand how hurtful words can be to a human being. And I just, I don't know, I just feel sad for him. And I. I feel. I feel so bad about that whole situation. And, and anyone that's affected by, you know, our media nowadays, because, truth be told, it's all about clickbait. And the majority of clickbait comes from hate, which, you know, is Just really sad. So now though, I'm in a way better mental space. And Scott and I were just laughing at some hate comments. One of them said I had a body that looked like spongebob. And I said I wish my arms were that skinny. The like, compliment me more. Have you seen this massive ass and huge tits and massive arms full of muscle. You think I look like spongebob? Like now I'm gonna go get lipo on my arms so my arms do look like spongebob. Speaking of getting work done, I told Scott I wasn't even going to talk about this on social media and I'm not going to until I get it done. I'm just going to talk about on the podcast because this feels like my safe space. And I know you guys won't judge me, but I think I'm going to get a nose job and I'm going to talk about why. So number one, my nose never bothered me. I have the same nose as my mom and my sister. And my sister actually got a non surgical nose job a couple of years ago. And the difference was crazy. Like it looked so, so good. But one, non surgical nose jobs are dangerous. Two, they go away after like a year. Like you have to get them done every year. Which I'm like, that's so much money. Like, might as well just do the real thing, right? But I never had an issue with my nose. Never bothered me. And then when I was 15 years old and I was on my volleyball team, I'll never forget, I was at a volleyball tournament and I was like doing homework or something. Because at a volleyball tournament it's like every team plays and you kind of wait it out to see which team's gonna win and then you play the winning team. That situation. So you know, my nerd ass self in all AP classes and, and gotta get my studying and done. So I'm sitting there like studying or doing homework or whatever, and I'm looking down and a girl on my volleyball team looked at me and was like, wow, you have like a pretty big bump on your nose. And I was like, what? I thought she meant like a pimple. Or I was like, what are you talking about? Bump? I'm like, what? And she's like, like a big hump. Like your, like your bone on your nose. Like you just have like a big hump. And I was like, oh, immediately goes to the bathroom, like turns my head to the side. And I was like, oh, I do. I have a big bump. My nose never bothered me. Now I'm almost 30, so that's about half my life. Always wanted a nose job since then. And I don't want to be, you know, I'm not trying to have a Michael Jackson nose and like, not breathe through my nostrils, okay? I just want a little. A little bit shaved on my. My bump. My huge fat lump, as she basically referred it. That's all I heard. I said, oh, so you're calling me an elephant trunk? Got it. And so I found this surgeon that's here in Scottsdale. And by the way, I'm not saying the name of the surgeon until I get it done because I haven't even done a consult yet. And yes, I'm paying in full. This is not a collaboration. I'm not collabing for plea free plastic surgery, okay? I just want this done for myself. And I don't want to talk about it on any other form of social media until I get it done. Because I know people are like, no, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't change your face. I get it, okay? Everyone is beautiful. But if this makes me feel good about myself and better and something that I've wanted to do for literally half my life, just let me do it. Because before I couldn't afford it and now I can. And I want a new nose. I am so proud. If you want to do something for yourself and you want to feel more confident about yourself, I'm the biggest clapping hype woman in your corner because you deserve to do it. Like, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. So anyways, I found this amazing surgeon in Scottdale that specializes in noses. And so I scheduled a consult. It's in, I think, about a month. And we'll see what he has to say. Because I just want a little bit of my hump gone. And then I want my tip raised like, just a little bit. Like, I want, like a little more rounded. And then I hate that in the front, my bump is so big, you can kind of see, like, it stick out. And it's not just like a straight swoop. Like, I just want to, like, not feel like I have to contour my nose. Do you know what I'm saying? And I just want that cute little side profile. So anyways, that's what I'm thinking of doing. And I'm not gonna tell. I'm not gonna tell any. I'm like, I'm not gonna tell anyone about it. And this is probably going to go viral on the cheers. Tick tock, my life, whatever. You can't convince me not to do it now. Okay. It's just happening. So any who says I again, I haven't even, like, signed anything or paid anything. I just paid to get the consult done. Which, by the way, when you get consults for plastic surgery, it's like 350 crazy. Also, this is another thing that kind of. Well, okay, okay, hold on. Backstory number one, I'm like, let me get comfortable. Number one, don't ever get a nose job from someone that doesn't specialize in noses or do like a full residency on noses. Don't just go to a general plastic surgeon to get your nose. Nose done. Why? I love my surgeon that did my boobs. Miha. She was like, I don't touch noses. They're way too complicated because of all of the nerve endings and in your face. And obviously, like, that's a form of an airway. She's like, no, I'm not doing it. Which I'm like, I respect you for saying that, because a lot of people would be like, yeah, let's do it. Like, that's more money in my pocket. But I was like, thank you for saying that. So she had great recommendations, which is how I found my surgeon. My boob job, which I've talked about, I got implants and a lift. It was $14,400. Tell me why a nose job cost more than that. I got an implant and lift. Two separate procedures on my boobs and a nose cost more than that. They said up to $17,000. Did I tell you that? That's crazy, bro. I was like, all right, where do I sign? No, I don't know. I don't know how much it's going to cost. They said it's between. It ranges between 14 and 17, depending on what you do. But I was like, oh. And I mean, I guess, like, it's a complicated procedure and obviously I'm going to pay what needs to be paid if I know the job is being done right? Because I do have two different friends that got their noses done three times because it got up. But it's because they went to a general plastic surgeon. They didn't go to a specialist, like a. Someone that specializes in noses. And that was their number one advice for me when I talked to them about it. They're like, you need to go to someone that did a whole. I think it's a four year residency on just like, rhinoplasties. So that's what I'm. I'm going to a surgeon that does that. So we'll see how it goes. I will definitely update you guys on the whole process. If I go through with it, I think I'm gonna, like, pre film my console and stuff and then kind of talk about it as, like, after my nose is done, because, again, I'm not going to document that whole journey because I'm not going to have people convince me otherwise. I will have a Bella Hadid nose, and you can't tell me otherwise. Also, if you have a celebrity that you think doesn't have a rhinoplasty, you're probably wrong, because they all do. But no hate. Again, if you want to get your nose done to feel better about yourself, slay. Amazing. Okay, one last thing before we head out of here, and that is Scotty and I are leaving on a trip tomorrow, and I'm so excited. I think it's one of my favorite trips that we've ever. Well, one of my favorite trips. Hasn't even gone on the trip yet. Oh, my God. One of the most exciting things for me, and that is we're going to St. Jude Children's Hospital. And obviously, with my Background in nursing, St. Jude is very important to me, is very important to Scott and his family. His nephew Logan passed away from a brain tumor and he was treated at St. Jude. And his amazing mom, Katie, Scott's sister, has an incredible relationship with them. They've taken care of their family tenfold, even over a year after Logan's passing, which I think is so admirable, and also. Also just shows what a great foundation they are when it comes to caring for the families after the children pass. And it's just one of those places that I will always donate to, always, because I've seen physically where the money's going and how it's helped other people. And so when I first signed with my management team, which is like over a year and a half ago now, they. One of our first meetings, they said, what's like, a big goal of yours? And I said, I would love to do anything with St. Jude, always. I've always loved St. Jude, even when I was working as a nurse. That was, like, a goal of mine to possibly work there in the future. I just think it's the most incredible place. And so this happened. They're doing a. I believe it's a fundraiser event. We're going for two days. I get to meet all the patients, which I'm so excited for. And I know I'm going to be so emotional, but it's just such a special thing. I just want to hug all of them and their. And their parents and family and talk to the nurses and thank them for everything that they do. So we're going to that and then we're going to, like, a little fundraiser. I think it's like a dinner presentation type thing. And they talk about, you know, where the money goes and all the amazing things that St. Jude does. So I'm just really excited for that. And then I'm going straight from Memphis to Los Angeles because Rare Beauty is doing their mental health. They do like a fundraiser gala. They raise a hundred million dollars, which is incredible, from so many different people and companies for mental health awareness. So David and I are going to that, which I'm really excited about, because first of all, Rare Beauty in general, I just am a huge, huge fan of. I think their entire team's incredible. Their makeup line's incredible. I love Selena. I've met her now twice, and she's an incredible human being, like, absolutely amazing. And I love everything she does for Mental health. So going there to support that is a huge honor. So I'm so grateful I got invited to that. So it's gonna be a busy week, so I'm gone tomorrow through Friday, so it's kind of a long trip. But all for amazing causes and things that I'm really passionate about. So I'm really excited about that. So I just want to give you a little update about that. But anyways, we are going to go swim in the pool with the kids. It's Saturday. They're so tired from their whole week at Disneyland and then coming back home to school. So we're just going to rest. I'm going to spend some quality time with them before I leave on my trip tomorrow night. But I hope you guys have an amazing week. I hope everyone's feeling good, doing well. Sorry for all the emotion in this episode, but I also hysterically cried at the park this morning. Hold on, I gotta tell that story. I. The ice cream truck came around to the park this morning. It was like 9:30am I think. How do I say, of course I'm gonna let my kids get ice cream from the ice cream truck. Like, the music plays. It's so sentimental and special. I love it. Stevie always gets the ice cream with the bubblegum eyeballs and she hates the taste every time, but that's what she chooses. Okay. Ziggy gets the same one every time. It's a strawberry shortcake ice cream, which. Such an OG ice cream. I love it so much. Stevie tastes hers. She doesn't like it always. Ziggy's like, we'll try mine. And Stevie tries it and she's like, I love it. It's so good. And Ziggy goes, well, we can just trade then. And he gives her his ice cream and takes the nasty tasting spongebob one. I lost it. For a five year old, he's so kind and empathetic and sweet and such a good big brother. It just was one of those, like, I'm so proud of you, mom moments. And Scott was looking at me like, are you okay? What the going on? I'm like, because, oh, my God. Well, my kids are on the slide. And Ziggy goes, are you crying happy tears? I said, yeah, clearly Ziggy's used to it. Always crying happy tears. Oh, well, at least it's not used to me crying sad tears. I do that when my kids are in bed. Okay? I handle my emotions later. They don't need see that. Anyways, I love you guys so much. I hope you have an amazing week and we will talk next week. Cheers.