Chief Change Officer Podcast Episode #295: Jodi Silverman – Parenting, Purpose & the Dare to Begin Again — Part Two

Host: Vince Chan
Guest: Jodi Silverman, Founder of the Moms Who Dare Community
Release Date: April 13, 2025

Introduction

In episode #295 of the Chief Change Officer podcast, host Vince Chan welcomes Jodi Silverman, the founder of the Moms Who Dare community. This two-part series delves into Jodi's transformative journey from managing a print business and raising a family to rediscovering her purpose post-parenting. Jodi shares heartfelt insights on navigating the empty nest phase, redefining self-identity, and fostering meaningful connections with adult children and partners.

Common Challenges Faced by Mothers in the Empty Nest Stage

[05:03] Jodi Silverman

Jodi begins by outlining the primary challenges that women face when their children become adults and leave home:

• Feeling Disconnected: Mothers often feel a sense of disconnection from their adult children. Jodi notes, “They’re just not” true adults, leading to a longing for presence without the need to hover as a helicopter parent.
• Loss of Purpose: Many mothers struggle with the absence of their primary daily purpose, which was previously centered around their children.
• Finding New Friendships: Transitioning from being a “soccer mom” to meeting new friends without the conduit of children's activities.

Jodi emphasizes that these challenges are intertwined but can be addressed holistically by shifting focus inward and establishing new routines and connections.

Solutions and the DARE Method

[05:03] Jodi Silverman

To tackle these challenges, Jodi introduces the DARE Method, a strategic approach to personal transformation:

1. Decide
   [09:15] Jodi Silverman
   “Decide that you’re ready now to accept this and focus on yourself.”

   • Making a conscious decision to prioritize self-discovery and personal growth.
   • Recognizing the shift from being the fixer to becoming a coach or advisor for adult children.

2. Awaken
   [09:15] Jodi Silverman
   “Awaken your heart again, awaken your mind again, awaken that spirit inside of you that always likes to try something new.”

   • Reconnecting with lost passions and dreams.
   • Allowing oneself to feel and process emotions deeply to build resilience.

3. Reimagine
   [09:15] Jodi Silverman
   “Reimagine what your life could look and feel like.”

   • Visualizing a new life beyond the previous role of motherhood.
   • Exploring hobbies and interests that were previously set aside.

4. Experience
   [09:15] Jodi Silverman
   “Dare to experience these new things.”

   • Creating and acting on a list of previously enjoyed activities or new interests.
   • Embracing trial and error without judgment to discover fulfilling pursuits.

Jodi stresses that transformation is gradual, akin to turning a dimmer switch rather than flipping a switch, allowing for seamless adaptation over time.

Impact on Partners/Dads

[11:49] Jodi Silverman & [14:58] Vince Chen

Vince inquires about the role of partners during this transition. Jodi shares her personal experience with her husband, Sam, highlighting:

• Different Emotional Responses: While both parents miss their children, Jodi observes that fathers often compartmentalize their emotions more effectively, possibly due to societal conditioning.
• Balancing Togetherness and Individuality: Sam finds joy in reconnecting as a couple, engaging in shared interests while maintaining individual hobbies like golf, which sustains their relationship post-children.

Jodi notes the evolving dynamics as more fathers take active roles in parenting, especially with shifts like remote work post-pandemic. She believes that maintaining both togetherness and a sense of self is crucial for a healthy partnership.

Reconnecting as a Couple

[21:07] Jodi Silverman

Jodi introduces the Day Swap technique to help couples reconnect:

• Description: “One person plans their ideal day, and the other participates, then swap roles.”
• Benefits:
  • Understanding Each Other’s Interests: Helps partners see the world through each other’s eyes, fostering appreciation and connection.
  • Shared Experiences: Enhances mutual respect and appreciation for each other’s passions and hobbies.

This method encourages couples to rediscover each other’s favorite activities, leading to a deeper emotional bond and rejuvenated relationship.

Final Advice for Parents Facing the Empty Nest

[25:08] Jodi Silverman

Jodi offers practical steps for parents navigating this life stage:

1. Seek Professional Help if Needed
   “If you are struggling to get up every day, find professional help.”
   • Acknowledges the seriousness of depression and anxiety.
2. Make a Decision to Focus on Self
   • Accept the new role of being an advisor rather than a fixer.
3. Create a List of Interests
   “Write a list of everything that you used to like doing without judgment.”
   • Identifies and prioritizes personal passions and interests.
4. Take Baby Steps in Daring to Experience
   • Start small, allowing room for exploration and adaptation.
   • Embrace failures as learning opportunities without self-judgment.

Jodi emphasizes that transformation does not require a complete career overhaul but can begin with incremental steps towards personal fulfillment.

Conclusion

[28:06] Vince Chen

Vince wraps up the episode by highlighting the key takeaways from Jodi’s insights:

• Balanced Focus: Importance of maintaining both togetherness and individuality within relationships.
• Gradual Transition: Adopting a slow, deliberate approach to identity change to mitigate feelings of loss.
• Evolving Motherhood: Recognizing that the role of a mother evolves from caretaker to advisor while maintaining a loving connection.

Jodi’s DARE Method serves as a valuable framework for parents seeking to redefine their purpose and build a fulfilling life post-parenting.

Key Quotes

• Jodi Silverman [05:03]: “They’re just not” true adults, leading to a longing for presence without the need to hover as a helicopter parent.”
• Jodi Silverman [09:15]: “Decide that you’re ready now to accept this and focus on yourself.”
• Jodi Silverman [25:08]: “Make a decision, make a list and just start small steps. Daring doesn’t have to be a whole career change. It can be just little steps.”
• Jodi Silverman [23:18]: “It lets you day swap. Allows each party in the day swap to feel seen, heard, understood, appreciated.”

Final Thoughts

Episode #295 of Chief Change Officer offers a profound exploration of the emotional and psychological transitions that come with children leaving the nest. Jodi Silverman’s heartfelt narrative and practical DARE Method provide listeners with actionable strategies to embrace this life stage with resilience and renewed purpose. Whether you are a parent, partner, or individual seeking transformation, this episode delivers valuable wisdom to support your journey toward personal growth and meaningful connections.

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