Podcast Summary: Chief Change Officer – Episode #339 Jennifer Selby Long: Gen X Wisdom for Saboteur Survival

Podcast Information:

• Title: Chief Change Officer
• Host: Vince Chan
• Episode Title: Jennifer Selby Long: Gen X Wisdom for Saboteur Survival
• Release Date: May 3, 2025

Introduction

In Episode #339 of Chief Change Officer, host Vince Chen engages in a profound conversation with renowned change expert Jennifer Selby Long. This episode delves into the intricacies of personal transformation, managing self-sabotage, and navigating complex workplace dynamics. Jennifer shares her extensive experience in helping leaders and organizations thrive amidst constant change, offering actionable insights grounded in neuroscience and practical coaching methodologies.

1. Understanding Self-Sabotage and Its Neuroscience

Jennifer Selby Long begins by addressing the pervasive issue of self-sabotage in personal and professional growth. Drawing from the work of Shirzad Shamim, she explains how these sabotaging behaviors are deeply ingrained neural networks developed in early childhood as survival mechanisms.

Jennifer Selby Long [03:55]: "Self sabotage is something that develops in very early childhood. It is almost entirely wired into our brains by the time we're five years old."

She emphasizes that while these sabotaging networks, particularly the "judge," are no longer necessary in adulthood, they remain potent barriers to success. Recognizing that these behaviors are not a reflection of one's true self is crucial in overcoming them.

2. Managing Self-Judgment

The conversation shifts to the pervasive nature of self-judgment and its impact on personal growth and leadership.

Jennifer Selby Long [08:53]: "When you feel a negative feeling and you are judging either yourself or someone else or the situation, that is a sign that your judge is in there."

She highlights the importance of identifying when the "judge" is active and offers strategies to weaken its influence. Techniques include:

• Recognizing when self-judgment arises.
• Calling out the judge verbally to diminish its power.
• Using humor and empathy as tools to defuse negative self-talk.

3. Success Story: Overcoming Saboteurs through Empathy

Jennifer shares a compelling case study of a client navigating his first CISO role amidst significant organizational challenges. The client faced high attrition rates, inadequate team skills, and a demanding peer-driven environment.

Jennifer Selby Long [13:50]: "We focused on calling out his judge when it was judging him... and then calling forth his empathy for someone who was having a highly unpopular initiative."

By fostering empathy towards an ineffective colleague, the client shifted his perspective, leading to improved team performance, additional funding, and personal satisfaction. This transformation underscores the power of empathy in mitigating self-sabotage and driving positive change.

4. Learning from Failure: A Client Who Refused to Change

Jennifer candidly discusses a challenging experience with a leader resistant to change. Despite multiple interventions, the leader neither adapted his style nor aligned with the organization's strategic needs, ultimately necessitating his reassignment.

Jennifer Selby Long [17:42]: "This was an organization that was in crisis... It was fantastic and so eye opening for me."

This experience taught Jennifer the value of recognizing when change is unattainable and the importance of adapting strategies accordingly. It reinforced that not all efforts yield immediate success, but valuable lessons can be gained from such setbacks.

5. Understanding Change Models: Freeze-Change-Unfreeze

The discussion explores Kurt Lewin's well-known change model—Freeze, Change, Unfreeze—and parallels with Bill Bridges' model. Jennifer emphasizes the significance of the final stage, where individuals emerge with a new identity.

Jennifer Selby Long [26:08]: "The new identity in the last stage is the single most important part of that model."

She explains that successful change management goes beyond logistical adjustments, requiring a fundamental shift in how individuals perceive themselves and their roles within an organization. Leaders must support their teams in embracing this new identity through empathy, training, and continuous support.

6. Dealing with Ineffective Bosses: Common Mistakes and Solutions

A significant portion of the episode addresses strategies for employees dealing with ineffective bosses. Jennifer identifies three common mistakes:

1. Playing Psychologist: Attempting to diagnose and fix the boss's personal issues instead of focusing on one's response.
2. Losing Perspective: Becoming overly attached to a single solution, hindering adaptability.
3. Creating Emotional Sinkholes: Internalizing frustrations, leading to negativity and disengagement.

Jennifer Selby Long [32:24]: "Making a change because you're running away from something usually doesn't pan out as well as when you're running towards something."

She advises five actionable strategies to manage these situations effectively:

• Step Back and Size Up: Assess the true impact of the boss's ineffectiveness.
• Assess Political Dynamics: Recognize and navigate the political landscape to protect oneself.
• Consider Multiple Solutions: Remain open to various approaches rather than fixating on one.
• Maintain Positivity: Focus on constructive actions and building positive relationships.
• Align with Personal Goals: Ensure that any decision to change roles aligns with one's personal and professional aspirations.

7. Navigating Office Politics in Change Management

The episode concludes with a discussion on the role of office politics in organizational change. Jennifer distinguishes between unhealthy politics driven by dysfunctional leadership and constructive politics arising from diverse stakeholder needs.

Jennifer Selby Long [43:39]: "Empathy, because being able to understand and empathize the competing needs of the many stakeholders involved in a change is the path forward."

She asserts that empathy is essential in navigating political dynamics, enabling leaders to understand and address the varied needs of stakeholders. This empathetic approach fosters collaboration and facilitates smoother transitions during change initiatives.

Conclusion

Episode #339 of Chief Change Officer provides invaluable insights into personal and organizational transformation. Jennifer Selby Long's expertise in recognizing and mitigating self-sabotage, coupled with practical strategies for managing ineffective leadership and office politics, offers listeners comprehensive tools for navigating change. By fostering empathy, embracing new identities, and maintaining a forward-focused mindset, leaders and professionals can outgrow themselves and achieve remarkable outcomes.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer Selby Long [03:55]:

  "Self sabotage is something that develops in very early childhood. It is almost entirely wired into our brains by the time we're five years old."

• Jennifer Selby Long [17:42]:

  "This was an organization that was in crisis... It was fantastic and so eye opening for me."

• Jennifer Selby Long [26:08]:

  "The new identity in the last stage is the single most important part of that model."

• Jennifer Selby Long [32:24]:

  "Making a change because you're running away from something usually doesn't pan out as well as when you're running towards something."

These insights encapsulate the episode's core themes, offering listeners practical wisdom for overcoming internal and external barriers to change.