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Chief Change Officer
#355 Tin Pei Ling: Making Motherhood, Parliament, and Progress Work—Her Way
00:21:45
From maternity leave to election rallies, Parliament debates to digital empowerment—Tin Pei Ling doesn’t talk about “balance,” she lives the trade-offs. In Part Two, Singapore’s youngest MP shares how she learned to lead, grow, and fight for others without losing herself in the process.
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- [00:00]
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Pei Ling
It out.
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- [02:53]
Vince Chen
Hi everyone. Welcome to our show. Chief Change Officer, I'm Vince Chen, your ambitious human host. Our show is a modernist community for change, progressives in organizational and human transformation from around the world. In last episode, we look at how Paling overcame the darkest period in her life, transforming from being a psychology major into winning the general election as the youngest elected parliamentarian. She discussed how facing biases related to age and gender has made her more resilient, both in terms of stamina and ability. A happy ending story for sure. But is that it? Of course not. That's why we have part two. Before we dive in, let me share with you one golden rule of success in driving and sustaining change. Whatever change you try to make, lose weight, launch a new product, or even trying to stage a large scale transformation project in your firm, this rule applies. This is a three stage model of change proposed by the founding father of social psychology, Kurt Lewin. According to him, in order to change, we need to first, unfreeze a stage where we understand the need and find the motivation to change. Second, change the stage where you move towards a different behavior. Third, re freeze a stage where you solidify the change and establish that new behavior as the norm. In Paling's case, in the first stage, unfreeze. If you recall, in part one of our interview, I asked her specifically about the why about the need and the motivation to change. From psychology to business consulting, from private individual to public officer. So the need and the motivation to change, figure it out. This stage is very personal. It's about you. You may not get 100% of the why yet. 80, 90%. That's already very good. Because in the next stage, when you're going through the process of change, you will get to know more about yourself. So you'll figure out more. But you do need to start with a good chunk of understanding of your need and the motivation to change. At the early stage, as in Tayling's case, the second stage change is the hardest part. We start with thinking of yourself. But then in the second stage, you have to be go beyond yourself, go above yourself. You need to think like a social psychologist. Change behavior is a function of a person and a situation. In the first days, you figure out yourself the person, but what about the situation? What in that environment that helps you drive and sustain the change? What factors affect your behavior? What are some of the negative reinforcement factors? Well, in Pei Ling's case, for example, attacks in person and social media, what are the positive reinforcement factors? In Peiling's case, she got the support from the political party. In your case, you work in a big firm, you got support from a boss, from a CEO, from a board of directors. You are entrepreneur. You got support from Your investors, Good for you. But that's only one piece of the situation. In Pelin's case, she went out there, exposed herself, faced the people, faced the challenges. Trying to turn this trust into trust, to win the hearts and minds of people, get the buy in in order to fit in. On top of that, she went for an MBA degree. She tried to build up her knowledge base to become more business savvy. But it's not just the body of knowledge or the fame of the degree. A lot of people thinking of getting an MBA degree missed the point. It is the situation you got yourself in that makes a difference in your life and career. In Pei Ling's case, she was younger, had less business experiences, let alone international experiences. But then in those two years, she got direct exposure. Direct interaction with people from all around the world. Classmates who are more mature, more experienced from all walks of lives, plus the professors, the deep knowledge in a lot of areas. Within two years, she built up not just the momentum of her growth, but this solid foundation for her to keep going on and on and on. So that's the value of an MBA degree in her situation. Not to mention about a very important ecosystem of support she has nurtured over time. When she refreezes as a confident woman leader to fight for the interests of her people, she got all of those elements in place. It's about her, but it's also about her. To recap, three step model of change. First, unfreeze. Where you figure out yourself the need and the motivation to change. Second, think like a social psychologist. Figure out your environment. Remember, change behavior is a function of a person and a situation. Figure out the strengthening and weakening factors. Magnify the positive reinforcement factors. Downplay the negative reinforcement factors. In some cases, the situation isn't just right for you. Then get out of it. You don't have to get yourself stuck in that. Change your game. Get onto another stage for you to sing, to dance, to perform and outperform. Third, solidify all the exchange elements. They're self reinforcing to each other. So you're essentially building yourself a wider and deeper foundation, taking you from the older self to the future self in a much more sustainable and successful manner. There is no overnight success. That's just a myth. Any success, any sustainable success always takes patience, effort and a deep process of change. Now let's go back to Pelin's story. Let's look at her model of change. How she made her own law of change to play the long game. I met you around 2013 when you started MBA. When I recall the statistics of outcast, the average age was 37. You were among the youngest. What's the logic and psychology behind your decision to pursue an MBA degree after you got into politics? How would you describe your two years experience studying with people who are from different walks of life and most of us are older, have different experience from you?
- [10:36]
Pei Ling
I think it was wonderful, fantastic. I really enjoyed my time at Chicago Booth and meet a lot of different people from different walks of life. I learned from them and made great friends. Including you, Vince and.
- [10:49]
Vince Chen
Yeah, of course, of course, of course. Ten years and counting.
- [10:53]
Pei Ling
Yes, yes. And yeah. So, okay, first of all, I, I like meeting people, but I also love learning. After I graduate from university, I realized I do like being a student. I like to challenge myself and stretch my mind. I never really did study business type of subjects when I was in, in school. And so the MBA helps to put frameworks and theories to what I learned on the job. Business consulting. It is business, but it's not like a formal education, it's on the job kind of training. So going through mba, I think that was useful. There is a lot of rigor in what Chicago booths offer. I remember, for example, macroeconomics. Yeah, man. Heisinger. Professor Heisinger. I really liked him. He really drives us. He taught us how to look at trends, try to predict stuff using formulas. I know that some other. I shall not name the other schools. Yeah. But from my understanding, macroeconomics would be a little bit more intuitive in those causes. But for Chicago Booth, it was all formula driven. And then every week, no, every month we had an exam and in the week that we were together, every day there's a quiz. So it's quite crazy, but I think it really trained us well, placed us very well. I think looking back, it was a great experience. But the question was, why did I choose to do it? As an elected Member of Parliament, I should constantly try to grow and learn. As I mentioned earlier, in my first term, I quit my job at Ernst and Young to focus on my constituency work. I think it was wonderful. After a while, when we get the hang of things, you build up experience, you establish processes, you establish the team. I start to have capacity. I felt that I needed to build new dimensions. I felt that I really needed to learn something. When the Chicago Bulls opportunity came, I decided to just latch on and just go. It has been a wonderful two years.
- [13:07]
Vince Chen
Yeah. Part of your growth process. You are always on call as a elected member of the Parliament. Always community works, always on. And then you finish your MBA education, you move back to the real world, you got your private sector job, full time job, you got this public duty, and you're a mother of two. How do you balance not just balancing your timetables but, but also the roles you played. How do you balance all these different responsibilities and duties?
- [13:47]
Pei Ling
Yeah, I get asked this quite a bit. And while we all wish we can balance all these different roles and the assumption underlying this would be that we compromise nothing, but the reality is that there will always be trade off. Something has to give at some point when we focus on something else. So in this case, honestly, there's always a constant mother's guilt because I feel that being an elected member of Parliament is absolutely sacred because so many people place their trust in me. They voted for me. To me, this is absolutely sacred. So I have to continue to do my best to solve the problems, to listen, to represent them in parliament, to give voice, to do a lot of things. And that takes a lot of time. Professionally, I get paid and I also want to make sure that I continue to grow as a person. I also want to give myself that chance to do so. And I need to be a responsible employee. So in the end, I have to sacrifice the family front a little bit more. I remember in my second general election, 2015, two weeks after I gave birth, you know, in Asian culture there's a one month confinement. So I basically actually a few days after giving birth, I had to go out and start training my walking because by the second, but because two weeks later after I gave birth, I had to start campaigning because January was just around the corner, I had to start campaigning. And so I recall that my first born, every day he looks different because there's a rapid growth period. And I remember after general election, when the dust has settled, I came back and I look at him, I was like, oh my God, he has grown so much. What did I miss out? So it was quite emotional. And then of course, now they are a bit older, a little bit more independent in that sense. But I must say that in the end, whatever that I could do, I wouldn't have been able to achieve those if not for the great support of many wonderful people. So within the constituency, I have a great team who have stood by me even during the toughest of time and I'm grateful. Residents have been very kind and understanding and they continue to place their trust in me and I'm grateful. At work, my colleagues and my bosses have also been appreciative of my other roles and they give me the flexibility, I'm grateful. Of course, at home, I've got my family, my parents, my husband and friends as well, who are willing to step in when I have to go out and do my part. So it's a whole ecosystem of support. I recognise that not everyone enjoys the same level of support. And so actually, this thing about how can we better support women to achieve their aspirations actually became one of the causes that I've been fighting for or talking about since that second general election, since 2015, since becoming a member of it.
- [16:58]
Vince Chen
You mentioned about women empowerment. Tell us a bit more about your work there. Perhaps other issues that keep you busy.
- [17:06]
Pei Ling
Keep you on your toes. Yeah, actually, I'm passionate about a range of issues and causes. When I was in my 20s, when I was first fielded, I was very passionate and I continue to be passionate about elderly issues as well as youth, because I've always been a youth volunteer and I believe in youth development, mental health, mental wellness being such a core part of issue that youth are concerned about. So that, naturally, is something that I'm concerned about as well. And I've always been interested in mental health. That's why I chose psychology. Right, then, seniors, my parents are aging. As the only child, I have to think about how I can support them, how I can care for them. And I also start to think about how I would like to live my life when I eventually grow old and become elderly myself. So that's from the personal point of view. But my constituency, one in three, are age 60 and above, so I have a fairly significant population of seniors that were under my care. Naturally, issues concerning them would be my concern as well. Ensuring their basic living needs are being taken care of, ensuring that they continue to be socially and mentally engaged. Because I think the biggest threat faced that our elderly face today is isolation. Bread and butter, all these. Some do continue to struggle, but overall, I think with the government support, with the charities and community partners coming together, we can cover that part. For seniors, because of changing social structure, many are living alone or they are living maybe with only one other person. Their spouse could be a helper. But basically, because of that changing social structure, many seniors are going to be very lonely in their twilight years. And if we don't actively engage them, they can deteriorate very quickly, physically as well as mentally, and then the burden of care will therefore be very heavy. But the biggest thing is about their quality of life. So this is something that I continue to be very focused on because women empowerment, as a mother, as a daughter, as a wife, as A whatever. So many different roles. It's really how can we empower women to create, to build capabilities, to create capacities to break the ceiling and help them achieve their aspiration. And now as we move into the digital future. So this is also the other thing that I'm also very big on is about the digital, digital economy, digital society, the smart nation, smart government, the whole digital realm, the digital future. This also is something that I'm very interested in, so there's a lot that I can cover. But basically, how can we make sure that Singapore continues to be well placed for the opportunities within this digital future? How can we continue to ensure that our people are ready for this digital future? And under this portion is how can we empower women so that they are smart ladies for a smart nation? How can we help them unlock the opportunities that a digital future can offer them? For example, when we talk about flexible work arrangement, technology plays a good part in this to enable women to be able to work from home or work remotely so that they can juggle their different roles. By equipping women with digital skills. According to studies by Accenture, IMF and various bodies, by helping women to increase in their digital fluency, we can close the gender gap in half the time. For example, helping women to develop digital capabilities is very important.
- [20:52]
Vince Chen
You mentioned that you are a keen learner. So can you suggest books that have helped you learn, help you grow over time and move forward?
- [21:07]
Pei Ling
Well, I think there are many possible books. I always think that life experiences, that person to person interaction is most precious in terms of books. Okay. I'm a big fan of our founding Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew. There's a lot of hard truth and very good wisdom that can be found in his book. That's one. Recently he has many books. I won't pinpoint any, just go read them. I'm still trying to get through to finish the book because I'm so busy, but it's about the power of regret. It's interesting because a lot of people, when they talk about regret, you know, it's like, ah, could have, would have, should have. I think the crux of this is really about how can you view regret from a different perspective that actually drives you to take action, to solve problems and to be a better person.
- [22:05]
Vince Chen
Every guest, they will suggest some books that have inspired them. So that's why I like to share their collective knowledge, collective inspirations with our audience. So that's the reason why I asked you about your source of inspiration. I'm also a keen reader. I'VE published two books and I'm writing my third. So that's also a reason why I always like to share knowledge. I also like to learn from each other. Like you said, you like to learn from other people's stories. The issues you mentioned, mental health, aging, population, I can resonate with you more about aging, isolation. I'm also only child myself. Like you said, retired people, older people, they either stay with their spouse or live alone or live with a helper. Mental health not only for youth, but basically for all ages. Women, 50% of the world population yet are not well represented under empowered. So next time when you come back, tell us more about what you learn from stories of people around you, from your stakeholders, older members of the communities, but also members of the youth as well as the women. Despite all these systematic issues, at the same time, lots of opportunities for us to drive change. Tell us more about those changes that you have over time pursue and how you are still in the fight for more changes for your commodities.
- [23:43]
Pei Ling
Happy to and anytime for you. Vince.
- [23:54]
Vince Chen
Thank you so much for joining us today. If you like what you heard, don't forget, subscribe to our show. Leave us top rated reviews. Check out our website and follow me on social media. I'm Vincent, your ambitious human host. Until next time. Take care.
- [24:25]
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