Nero Wolfe: The Brave Rabbit 12/01/1950 - Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio

Transcript

A (0:00)

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for donating@ChoiceClassicRadio.com Stay tuned for Nero Wolf, who follows transcribed in 30 seconds. Later tonight, over most of these NBC stations, Duffy's Tavern comes your way. And on the menu at Duffy's tonight, there's a blue plate special of grilled English language served up by the delightfully ungrammatical Archie. Plus laughs garnished with chuckles brought to you by Archie's remarkable crew. There's no cover charge at Duffy's Tavern. Just keep your dial tuned to NBC. And this Sunday means another broadcast of the big show. Your guests include Fred Allen, Douglas Fairbanks, Danny Thomas, and many, many more. Tallulah, of course, is your hostess on the big show.

A (0:54)

Ladies and gentlemen, that phone bell means adventure. Hello? Hello. The young man answering the phone is Archie Goodwin. The mountain of a man engaged in deep thought in the oversized armchair is Nero Wolf. Mr. Wolf, we've got a case. I'm not sure whether somebody's going to kill a rabbit or a rabbit is going to kill somebody, but either way, it's going to be murder. Please, Mr. Wolf, even orchids have to eat.

A (1:20)

Yes, sir. Mr. Wolf will take the case. As a matter of fact, he's working on it right now.

B (1:26)

Money work. Bah.

A (1:29)

Greatest detective in the world. Only trouble is, he is.

A (1:51)

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Archie is right. Nero Wolf is the greatest detective in the world and the fattest and the least energetic. Nero Wolf, created by Rex Stout and brought to you over this NBC network in a new series of Adventures by Mr. Sydney Greenstreet.

A (2:20)

Tonight, it's the case Nero Wolf likes to remember as the case of the Friendly Rabb. He sometimes prefers his proverb scramble. It began in lots of places. Let's take a look at a few of them. In particular, the richly appointed library of a man named Veeck. Mr. Veeck, what's happening? Relax, Haynes. Your blood pressure. I thought it was a gag, but you really are shutting the club down. I'm shutting it down? Why? I got the joint roll and the suckers are pouring in. And next week, the governor's committee, it's moving on to Baylor county, our joint enterprises in Baylor County. I think the club needs a rest Crime committee so really admire gambling. Oh, that's different. So it is. The club needs a rest, you need a vacation. Florida, perhaps? I don't like Florida. Pick any place you like, just so long as you get out of reach. Of a subpoena. The heat's on, huh, Boss? You've just coined a phrase that may very well catch on. Get out and stay out of the state until I send for you.

Summary

Episode Summary: Nero Wolfe – "The Brave Rabbit" (Aired December 1, 1950)

Overview

In this classic episode of Nero Wolfe, "The Brave Rabbit," detective Nero Wolfe and his assistant Archie Goodwin find themselves drawn into a murky case involving political intrigue, murder, double-crosses, and a most unusual clue: a rabbit farm. When the Governor’s anti-crime committee suffers leaks and a murder shocks a rural county, Wolfe must unravel a chain of deception that stretches from crooked club owners to a secretary with a secret life, all while barely lifting a finger from his armchair.

Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdown

1. Leaks in the Governor’s Crime Committee (02:20–04:48)

The episode opens on multiple fronts: a nervous criminal enterprise, a worried governor, and suspicions of a dangerous leak in the Governor's anti-crime committee.
Governor: “Someone is passing on confidential information.” (03:54)
Suspicion centers on James Collier, the committee’s secretary, who has abruptly retreated to his rabbit farm.

2. Archie’s Assignment & Colorful Banter (06:01–07:29)

Archie is tasked with setting up a meeting between Wolfe and the Governor’s representative, Williams, despite Wolfe’s usual disdain for travel.
- Archie: “You’ve got an appointment with a Mr. Williams at the Starlight Hotel in Greendale for one hour from now.” (07:07)
- Wolfe: “You’re insane.” (07:08)
Wolfe, pressed by the seriousness of the case, reluctantly agrees.

3. Multiple Motives on the Rabbit Farm (10:08–13:32)

Archie heads to Collier's farm under the pretense of car trouble. On the way, he meets Claire (an old flame of Collier’s, burdened by suspicion) and exchanges flirtatious banter heavy on puns and charm.
- Archie to Claire: “Nice moonlight we’re having. My name is Goodwin and blondes call me Archie... Brunettes call me Archie too.” (11:10)
Claire acts suspiciously, signaling someone as they approach the house, raising additional alarms for Archie.

4. The Murder & Its Aftermath (16:47–18:00)

In the confusion of darkness, there’s a sudden gunshot. Archie finds himself with Claire, discovering a dead body—not James Collier, but an unknown man.
- Archie: “I was being around when someone got murdered.” (17:07)
- Wolfe: “And the dead man, of course, is James Collier?” (17:17)
- Archie: “No. Sorry. Total stranger... no identification on him.” (17:23)
- Archie describes the dead man as a nattily dressed blond with dirty fingernails—a detail that sticks with Wolfe.

5. Wolfe’s Logic and Deeper Intrigue (19:12–21:10)

Wolfe deduces that Collier’s location isn’t mysterious—he claims to know precisely where Collier is, based solely on intelligence, not observation.
- Wolfe: “I know where he is.” (18:57)
Discussion reveals Veeck (a crime boss) is involved and his henchman Marshall fits the murdered man’s description.

6. The Climax at the Rabbit Hutch (21:20–22:55)

Wolfe brings Archie back to the rabbit farm, searching for evidence. They discover a dead rabbit, skull crushed—signaling something hidden nearby.
- Wolfe: “He may be dead now, Archie, but he was friendly. Too friendly.” (21:57)

7. The Confrontation and Revelations (23:00–27:00)

Wolfe cross-examines Claire and exposes her role as a lookout, shielding Collier out of love.
- Wolfe: “You had seen and recognized the murderer as the man you loved.” (23:20)
Wolfe lays out the final chain:
- Veeck knew Collier was leaking information.
- Veeck’s man, Marshall, killed Collier and buried him in the rabbit run.
- Marshall’s dirty fingernails were evidence of digging the grave (23:39–24:31).
To cover his tracks, Veeck kills Marshall and tries to frame the missing Collier.
Wolfe:
- “Only one way you could have known. You had seen Archie at some time prior to the time you checked in at the hotel... Which told me Mr. Veeck had been here at the time of Marshall’s death. What was Veeck doing here? Only one thing. Murder.” (25:25–25:42)
- Archie: “Grave, Archie?”
- Archie: “Yeah. With James Collier in it.” (26:16)
- Wolfe succinctly ties the final thread:
  - “The dirty fingernails were a wrong note. Indicated he’d been digging.” (26:44)
  - “Veeck killed his own trigger man to frame a dead man for it.” (26:55)
The poetic close: Only Wolfe could see through the rabbit-farm ruse.

8. Motive for the Rabbit Farm Scheme (27:21–27:39)

Why was Collier at the rabbit farm? Wolfe explains:
- Wolfe: “He knew he’d be watched. He couldn’t risk conveying his information by telephone or the mails... But who would suspect a truck driver delivering carrots for the rabbits as being the go-between for Jimmy Collier and Veeck?” (27:21)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Nero Wolfe’s signature wit:
- “I dislike exercise—exercise shortens life.” (15:02)
- “Fiddlesticks. I already know exactly what role the rabbits play in our problem.” (09:03)
Archie’s humor:
- “You’ve got millions in the bank, why worry?” (06:15)
- “If anyone calls, just say I’ve gone out to Greendale to cross-examine a rabbit.” (09:59)
Wolfe’s parting wisdom:
- “As you go up to bed now... while you and Miss Claire stroll through the moonlight, Archie, you might remember that rosebuds have thorns.” (28:09)

Timestamps for Key Segments

02:20 – Committee learns of leak; suspicion on Collier.
06:26 – Archie tells Wolfe of the Governor’s summons.
07:29 – Wolfe accepts the case.
10:33 – Archie meets Claire; signals intrigue.
16:47 – Wolfe and Veeck’s confrontation at hotel.
17:07 – Archie calls Wolfe; murder discovered.
21:10 – Wolfe deduces Collier’s whereabouts.
22:10 – Dead rabbit found at farm; vital clue.
23:00 – Wolfe interrogates Claire.
24:31 – Veeck enters with a gun; Wolfe unmasks killer.
26:16 – Collier’s grave located.
27:21 – Wolfe explains the rabbit farm communications.

Character List

Nero Wolfe – The sedentary but brilliant detective.
Archie Goodwin – Wolfe’s wisecracking, energetic assistant.
James Collier – Committee secretary; the initial suspect.
Claire – Collier’s former fiancée; plays an ambiguous role.
Veeck – Crime boss; orchestrator of murder and cover-up.
Marshall – Veeck’s gunman; murdered to cover the trail.
Williams – Governor’s aide; brings Wolfe into the case.

Tone & Style

The episode is rich in quick, dry humor, Noir-era banter, and clever deduction.
Archie’s cheeky tone contrasts Wolfe’s gruff formality.
The atmosphere is suspenseful, with layered motives and a classic hard-boiled sensibility.

Final Note

Even listeners new to Nero Wolfe can enjoy this quintessential detective tale—a puzzle where nothing is as innocent as it seems, not even a rabbit. Wolfe’s refusal to “work” is, as always, bested by his curiosity and genius—while Archie provides the action and wisecracks. The clues are fair, the payoff satisfying, and the mood pure radio detective gold.