The Saint: Schizophrenic Psychiatrist 09/18/1949

Summary

Choice Classic Radio Detectives: The Saint – "Schizophrenic Psychiatrist" (09/18/1949)

Podcast: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: The Saint: Schizophrenic Psychiatrist
Original Air Date: September 18, 1949
Podcast Release Date: December 7, 2025
Star: Vincent Price as Simon Templar ("The Saint")

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Saint, titled “Schizophrenic Psychiatrist,” features Simon Templar—also known as the Robin Hood of modern crime—embroiled in a mysterious and deadly voyage at sea. As fog envelops the ship, Hollywood starlet Barbara Brooks becomes the victim of an apparent accident, but Templar suspects foul play. The investigation reveals a web of murder, mistaken identity, blackmail schemes, and a culprit haunted by a fractured psyche.

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Key Discussion Points and Plot Breakdown

1. A Foggy Night and a Frightened Starlet

• Setting: The episode opens with Simon Templar (Vincent Price) on the ship's deck, engaging in witty banter with Barbara Brooks, a celebrated actress who confides she's retiring from the film industry.
• Tension: Simon quickly discerns that Barbara is not just tired—she’s deeply frightened ([03:41]).
• Dramatic Turn: The fog grows thick, and as Simon steps away to fetch Barbara’s wrap, tragedy strikes: Barbara goes overboard ([04:16]). Templar is knocked out by an unknown assailant.

2. Waking in the Infirmary: Dr. Norman Enters

• Aftermath: Simon awakens in the ship’s infirmary, tended by Dr. Norman, a renowned psychiatrist standing in for the ailing ship’s doctor. Simon is skeptical of the “accident” ([04:55]).
• Motivation: Templar asserts, “Horrible, yes. Accident, no,” revealing his belief that Barbara was murdered ([05:49]).

3. Flashbacks and Intrigue: The Shipboard Cast

• Meeting Barbara: Simon narrates how he met Barbara as the voyage began, sensing her anxiety and vulnerability ([07:11]).
• Phil Rader: Simon identifies the presence of Phil Rader, a notorious criminal, which only intensifies the sense of danger.
• Lil Miller: A secondary character, Lil Miller, emerges as a mysterious and dangerous figure.
• Hidden Dangers: Rader threatens Simon with violence if he interferes ([10:58], [11:15]).

4. Murder at the Costume Ball

• Costume Ball: At a lively masquerade, attempts on Simon’s life and the murder of Lil Miller escalate the stakes ([13:00]-[14:19]).
• Mistaken Identities: Lil Miller, in a harlequin costume, is mistakenly killed; her death offers a vital clue.

5. Blackmail and Schemes Revealed

• Card Sharp Ring: Through conversations with Miller and Rader, Templar uncovers a plot involving blackmail and card cheating, meant to fleece a wealthy, unsuspecting passenger ([15:40]-[20:16]).
• Barbara’s Plight: Barbara’s connection to the schemes—and her looming danger—grows clearer.

6. The Culprit Unmasked: A Psychiatric Twist

• Colorblind Killer: Phil Rader is fatally shot before he can fully reveal the person who hired him to kill Barbara, but not before muttering, “brown tie, blue shirt” ([21:14], [21:54]).
• Crucial Clue: Simon realizes the killer must be colorblind, as such color combinations are unlikely ([22:04]).
• Dr. Norman Exposed: The pieces fall into place—Dr. Norman, suffering from a split personality and colorblindness, is the murderer, driven by a pathological love-hate obsession with Barbara ([23:14]-[24:35]).
• Showdown: Templar cleverly avoids drinking a poisoned sedative and subdues the unhinged doctor in a tense final confrontation ([24:30]-[25:19]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Barbara’s Fear:
  • “There’s nothing to tell. I’m… I’m tired. I need a rest. Please, Simon, don’t make me talk about it.” – Barbara Brooks ([03:45])
• Templar the Detective:
  • “Horrible, yes. Accident, no.” – Simon Templar ([05:49])
• On Justice:
  • “There’s only one cure. The lady with the scales known as Madame Justice.” – Simon Templar ([06:09])
• The Menacing Phil Rader:
  • “Just so there’s no misunderstanding… you butt in where you ain’t welcome on this cruise and… I’ll kill you.” – Phil Rader ([10:58])
• Colorblind Clue:
  • “Well, it means that either the man for whom I search isn’t a very fastidious dresser, Doctor. Or else he’s colorblind.” – Simon Templar ([21:58])
• The Psychiatrist’s Psychosis:
  • “A fan who loved her very much and hated her in equal proportions. Who was so torn between love and hate he had to kill her.” – Simon Templar ([23:15])
• Final Showdown:
  • “What a pretty purple gun you’re wearing. Or is it pink?" – Simon Templar, goading Dr. Norman ([24:26])
  • “Drink up, Templar. You’ll hardly feel it. It’s just a dash of prussic acid.” – Dr. Norman ([24:30])
• Justice Served:
  • “It was a question of your eyes or my stomach, Doctor.” – Simon Templar, after disarming Dr. Norman ([24:55])

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Key Segment Timestamps

• [02:39] Introduction: Vincent Price as “The Saint.”
• [03:00-04:21] Simon and Barbara’s tense conversation on deck; Barbara goes overboard.
• [04:45-06:28] Simon awakes in the infirmary, suspects murder.
• [07:11-08:25] Flashback: Simon and Barbara’s first meeting.
• [10:58-11:14] Rader threatens Templar.
• [13:00-14:19] The costume ball: murder of Lil Miller.
• [15:40-17:15] Confrontation with Miller; Rader’s further threats.
• [21:14-21:58] Rader’s cryptic dying clue: “brown tie, blue shirt.”
• [23:14-24:35] Simon connects the clues—schizophrenia and colorblindness.
• [24:26-25:19] Showdown with Dr. Norman; the case is solved.

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Episode Tone and Style

Vincent Price delivers the character of Simon Templar with his signature sardonic wit and suave menace. The script blends suspense, noir-tinted banter, and psychological intrigue, enhanced by a rich supporting cast and classic 1940s radio music cues. Dialogue is brisk, with Templar’s dry humor and moral clarity shining throughout—a fitting showcase for the Golden Age of Radio detective genre.

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Summary

“Schizophrenic Psychiatrist” is a quintessential Saint episode: a brooding shipboard mystery, filled with glamour, deception, and a psychological twist. Simon Templar’s relentless sleuthing unmasks a killer hiding in plain sight, driven not by ordinary greed but by fractured identity and obsession—a story told with wit, suspense, and style.

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For fans of classic radio mysteries, this episode is a strong illustration of period storytelling, snappy detective work, and Vincent Price’s magnetic performance as The Saint.

Transcript

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[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we.

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Bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

To us on YouTube and thank you.

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For [e-mail].

[Radio Announcer / Vincent Price]

Listen one hour from now for a special broadcast over most of these stations in which Sir Stafford Cripps, British Chancellor of the Exchequer, announces and explains his government's decision to devalue the British pound sterling. That's one hour from now.

The Adventures of the Saint, starring Vincent Price.

The Saint. Based on characters created by Leslie Charteris and known to millions from books, magazines and motion pictures, the Robin Hood of modern crime now comes to radio starring Hollywood's brilliant and talented actor, Vincent Price as.

The Saint.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, hello.

[Barbara Brooks]

Who is.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Oh, how is my favorite shipboard acquaintance this evening?

[Barbara Brooks]

Oh, Simon, you startled me. I could hardly see you through the fog here on deck.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yes, it is getting thicker, isn't it? But I suppose it's to be expected. Last night nature went on a binge of moonshine. And this is her foggy morning after, only it's evening. How can you tell through the fog? You know, you have a very pretty laugh, Barbara. I'll listen for it in all of your pictures from now on.

[Barbara Brooks]

Thank you, Simon, but I'm. I'm not going to make any more pictures. I'm retiring.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Retiring? At the peak of your career?

[Barbara Brooks]

I'm just tired of pictures, that's all.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Barbara, you'll never be able to run away from it.

[Barbara Brooks]

What do you mean?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

I'm referring to whatever it is that frightens you. Why don't you tell me about it?

[Barbara Brooks]

Barbara, there's nothing to tell. I'm. I'm tired. I need a rest. Please, Simon, don't make me talk about it. There some things that. Simon, is that someone standing there?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

No. No, I don't see anyone. You are nervous, Simon.

[Barbara Brooks]

If only I could confide in someone. If I could tell you what I.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Perhaps I already know more than you think I do. You're cold.

[Barbara Brooks]

Yes.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Where's your wrap?

[Barbara Brooks]

It's over there someplace. On one of those deck chairs.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

I'll find it.

I don't see it here. Barbara. You sure you.

[Barbara Brooks]

Barbara.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Behind you. Look out.

[Barbara Brooks]

Barbara. Barbara.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Man overboard. Man overboard. Maybe you'd like a scrim too. Saint. What?

Oh.

[Radio Announcer / Vincent Price]

Who?

[Dr. Norman]

Mr. Templar. Mr. Templar.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Oh, hello. I suppose the usual question is where am I?

[Dr. Norman]

Sometimes they awaken from your type of custom made coma asking who am I?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Evidently I wasn't hit quite that hard. I even remember who you are. Dr. Norman. It is Dr. Norman, the celebrated psychiatrist, isn't it?

[Dr. Norman]

Yeah, that is very good, Templar. But I'm afraid I must still confine you here to the ship's infirmary for a while. A possible concussion, you know.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Tell me, what makes a famous neurologist like you pose as a mere ship's doctor?

[Dr. Norman]

I'm really not posing. Partridge. The ship's physician is ill. I was within earshot when I heard the familiar call. Is there a doctor in the house?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

And.

[Dr. Norman]

No, Simon, don't try to get up. I have a flask here if a drink will make you happy.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Oh, not right now, thank you. As I recall, I have some unfinished business to attend to. Babylon? Yes. What'd she.

[Dr. Norman]

They couldn't find her in the fog. She's gone.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Poor Barbara.

[Dr. Norman]

Yes, it was a horrible accident.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Horrible, yes. Accident, no.

[Dr. Norman]

You mean to say she didn't fall overboard?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

She was murdered. Murdered?

[Dr. Norman]

But who?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

I think I know who. My head. It feels like the Aberdeen Proving grounds.

[Dr. Norman]

I will mix you a sedative. You know, you're not looking very well.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

I always look like this when I'm angry. There's only one cure.

[Dr. Norman]

Yes, I know. The lady with the scales known as Madame Justice. You know, Templar, I've been curious about what makes a man like you tick.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, I'll tell you. Every eight days or so, someone winds me up. Right now I'm wound up tight. Tight with fury.

[Dr. Norman]

Well, as a psychiatrist, I would advise you to unwind a bit.

Here we are. Now drink this. It will put you to sleep after a while.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Thank you.

[Dr. Norman]

You say you think you know who killed Barbara Simon.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

I was wrong. I do know.

[Dr. Norman]

Well, I think you ought to talk to me. Unwind yourself.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

You think I need psychiatry, doctor?

[Dr. Norman]

Well, I think you're too taut at the moment. That plus your concussion, it might be dangerous.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Very well, doctor. I'll unwind. I'll tell you the entire story, if.

[Dr. Norman]

You don't mind, Simon. Here, this will help the rhythm, huh? It's a metronome. Psychiatrists often use them. But if you'd rather.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

No, no, I don't mind.

I've never met Barbara Brooks, although I doubt if there's a human being alive who hasn't heard of her or seen her in the movies. I first saw her the day we boarded ship. There was something in her expression, in the way she walked and talked and smiled that immediately told me here was someone I should know. Her entire demeanor was an attitude of invitation, romance, fear. Doctor, she was a frightened lady. She wanted someone near her. I walked over to her there on deck and immediately made myself useful. Her steward evidently had become busy elsewhere. So I tipped my hat and said, somewhat idiotically, get your program here, lady. You can't tell the staterooms without the numbers.

[Barbara Brooks]

I beg your pardon?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Your stewardsy deserted you. I've sailed this scow before, so if it's the direction to your stateroom you're looking for, well, I would like to know. I would too. Number, please.

[Barbara Brooks]

A36 main deck.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Thank you very, very much. It's this way. My. My name's Templar Simon for short. And of course your Barbara Brooks. You know, we passed the bar en route to a 36 main deck. There's an old Fashioned with a new acquaintance sound in writing.

[Barbara Brooks]

It will a little later after. He's here on the ship.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Ooh, there are several. Oh, I see.

[Barbara Brooks]

He's gone out in the corner.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yeah, I think I saw the man you meant. Certain off center gentleman named Rader. Raider.

[Barbara Brooks]

I don't Know that name?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

No. Surely you've heard of Phil Rader. He's just as big a star in his line of work as you are in yours.

[Radio Announcer / Vincent Price]

What?

[Barbara Brooks]

What is his line of work?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, he's an exterminator of human beings, Mr. Templar. I'm afraid that was obvious from the moment I first saw you. Why don't you tell me about it?

[Barbara Brooks]

No, I can. No. I'd be killed.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

That's as good a reason as any for not telling me. But I must warn you, I have a peculiar talent for finding things out for myself. Oh, no.

[Barbara Brooks]

You mustn't do anything. Please.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Please. Hello, Raider.

[Phil Rader]

Well, Ms. Saint.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Mm.

[Phil Rader]

World's getting smaller.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yes? Yes. But I understand you're doing your share to see that it doesn't get overcrowded. Traveling for your health again? Or just traveling?

[Phil Rader]

Just traveling.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Raider, why does the mere glimpse of you rounding a corner start a lady's teeth to chattering? Lady?

[Phil Rader]

I don't know any ladies.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Obviously.

[Phil Rader]

Maybe she thought I was someone else.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Maybe. And if you're of a mind to annoy her, you'll wish you were.

[Phil Rader]

Look, Saint, just soak up sunshine on this cruise. Don't go poking in any dark places.

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[Phil Rader]

Today might be bad for you.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Oh, what sort of bad, Raider?

[Phil Rader]

Look, big shot? Just so there's no misunderstanding, you butt in where you ain't welcome on this cruise and yes, and I'll kill you.

[Dr. Norman]

How is your head, sir?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

It feels as if a regimental crap game was going on inside of it with jet propelled dice.

[Dr. Norman]

You haven't drunk your sedative yet.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Here. Oh, thank you. Shall I go on Taking the load off of my concussion.

[Dr. Norman]

Yes, by all means. I think I was present at the next sequence.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yes, Doctor, you were. It was the night of that ridiculous costume ball ship's captains are so fond of arranging.

[Dr. Norman]

Yes, I remember. We were at the bar together. You were a pirate, I recall.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yes, and you were a clown. The ball was loaded with clowns. Some of them not even aware of their clownishness. But it was gay and sprightly and the music was good.

I remember our conversation, Doctor. You suddenly appeared at my elbow and said in the most shivery, sinister manner.

[Dr. Norman]

You know, Templar, I have a confession to make to you.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, I'm always interested in confessions, Doctor.

[Dr. Norman]

I've had a schoolboy crush on the beautiful Barbara ever since I saw her in pictures first. Tell me, what does one do about it?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, I know exactly what I would do if I were you, Doctor. Yes, I'd consult the nearest psychiatrist at.

[Dr. Norman]

The prices we charged.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

No, thank you.

[Dr. Norman]

I was hoping you'd cut a fellow in on your acquaintanceship, Templar. But if you won't introduce me, won't you at least show me which mask she's hiding under? I think I might be able to make my own introduction.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Oh, very well, Doctor. Look for a sylph like figure in a blue and yellow harlequin costume.

[Dr. Norman]

Thank you, Templar, thank you. And if you should ever need a.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Good psychiatrist at the prices you charge.

[Dr. Norman]

I will be seeing you.

[Barbara Brooks]

Don't turn around, Mr. Templar. I have a pistol in the small of your back.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Now really, is that any way to enjoy a war?

[Barbara Brooks]

Listen, Sade, and listen hard.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

I'm all ears. Except for the small of my back, which feels abnormally large at the moment.

[Barbara Brooks]

Certain arrangements have been made, Saint. It means a big head of lettuce if they go through. So all the signs say. Keep out. See that you do. Now don't turn around. This costume's so pretty, I'd hate to have to put a hole through my pocket.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, it's probably just a coincidence, but I've acquired the same regard for the small of my back.

[Barbara Brooks]

Keep regarding it thou a stained. Don't let your nose wander where it doesn't belong. And you might begin by forgetting you saw certain people aboard this boat.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

See? Just tell me how you're going to swing it, Mrs. Miller. Oh, don't be surprised. I'd recognize the notorious Lil Miller's voice on a party line. How are you gonna take him, Lil? A palm dais or perhaps a marked deck?

[Barbara Brooks]

This rod has a hair trigger, Saint. Just a touch. And you're Lil.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Lil, what's the matter? That girl there, the one in the holiday. Lil. Lil.

You're lucky.

[Dr. Norman]

Sing.

[Barbara Brooks]

I'd have shot.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Give her ear. Give her ear.

[Radio Announcer / Vincent Price]

Don't crowd.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Crowd her all you want to. She won't mind now, is she? Yes. A stiletto in the back leaves very little doubt. She's dead.

[Dr. Norman]

You know, Simon, I would never have plagued the late Mrs. Miller for a professional card shop. She was anything but the tyrant.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Professional card sharps are always anything but the type, doctor.

[Dr. Norman]

Yeah, and to think I actually played bridge with her myself. With a crook and a hot headed one had said.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, as my old grandmother used to say, Doctor, beware of lady thieves with red hair.

[Dr. Norman]

I guess the lady's red hair accounted for the lack of insulation in her temperament. How does your head feel, Simon?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Better, doctor. Much better.

[Dr. Norman]

You still haven't touched your sedative, you know.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Haven't I?

[Dr. Norman]

I think you'll find that it helps, Simon.

[Phil Rader]

Here.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Oh, thank you. Well, you know, shortly after the murder of Mrs. Miller, doctor, I called on her bereaved husband and partner in crime. A very interesting visit it was too.

[Dr. Norman]

You have the knack for making all of your visits interesting.

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[Dr. Norman]

Simon. Tell me about it.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, I found Miller in the bar. Quenching his sorrow with the merry waters of the river of forgetful.

50 grand in the palm of our hands and beep no more Lil no more Lil no more sucker no more sucker. Beep no more. 50 grand. I see you valued your wife highly. Who was the sucker? Miller? Ha ha, you're funny. Tell me, what's Phil Rader cruising for, Miller? And don't tell me it's a coincidence he's on board the same ship. You get funnier and funnier. Why is Barbara Brooks so afraid of Raider? You ain't even warm, saint. You're a mile wide of the target. I'd better use a different kind of ammunition then, Miller. Yeah? Like what? Like a little murder performed on an unwilling sucker in Reno. Huh? What do you know about that? You won't like going back to Reno, Miller. It gets hot in the summertime. Especially in the penitentiary. Raider was with on this deal. All right, Miller. Put the zipper on, Raider. I wasn't gonna say anything, Phil. Honest I was.

[Radio Announcer / Vincent Price]

Just skip it, Miller.

[Phil Rader]

I always knew someday you'd show, Canary Yellow. I thought you and I had a little understanding, Saint.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

You've got a reputation for wrong thoughts, Raider.

[Phil Rader]

Yeah, but right or wrong, I back my ideas up to the hilt, Saint.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Keep that frog sticker undercover, Raider, Or I might take it away from you. And the Dutch courage that rides with it, too.

[Phil Rader]

I'll keep it hidden for now. You just be careful of the places where the lights don't shine, Saint. Come on, Miller. I want to talk with you.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, I'll be out in a little while, Phil. I want a drink.

[Phil Rader]

You've drunk enough, Canary.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Come on. You'd better go, Miller. And if you can't talk your way out of it, my regards to the fishes.

[Dr. Norman]

And I recall it was shortly after Mr. Leader passed on his second warning that you and I met for the first time. Professional?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yes, Doctor. The very next night.

[Dr. Norman]

Well, I am very surprised at you. He had warned you to stay away from Doc Plater.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yes, Doctor, so he had. But I'm perverse by nature and I like to poke around. I was strolling around the deck with Barbara, getting moon burned and trying desperately to get some more information.

[Barbara Brooks]

So wonderful having you near, Simon. I feel safe.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Safe? I refuse to accept the compliment. Particularly on a moonlit night at sea.

[Barbara Brooks]

I'm referring to danger, Simon, not romance.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

You're often the very same thing. I'd like to join the team, Barbara. Why don't you confide in me?

[Barbara Brooks]

Because if I did, we'd both be dead by morning. I must go now. Good night, Simon.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Good night.

Don't turn around, Templar. I've got a. I know. A gun pointed at the small of my back.

[Dr. Norman]

That's it.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Now keep away from Barbara Brooks. Am I clear? Clear enough. Anything else? Yeah. Just so it sinks in, Saint. Take this along to remember me.

Once again you enter the picture, Dr. Norman. You found me there, lying on the deck, basking in moonlight and blood.

[Dr. Norman]

Go on, Simon. Tell me the rest of it.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, after your neat job of vulcanizing me, thus saving me a trip to the ship's doctor and innumerable words of explanation, I hit upon a strategy and my next visit found me calling in the lion's den.

I tell you, you're being made a patsy, Raider. You're on the verge of being demoted back to second class hoodlum.

[Phil Rader]

I can take care of myself.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

I admit a minor sandbagging committed in your Good name. Doesn't amount to much, Raider. But what if the same someone likes your name and decides to use it in other ways?

[Phil Rader]

What do you mean?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

I mean murder. You're a lead pipe cinch to pay for one of your own someday, Raider. But meanwhile, how would you feel getting hung for somebody else's shenanigans?

[Phil Rader]

I'd be annoyed. You sure would. Look, I'm not rigged up with no murder, Saint. Lil meant 50 grand to us alive. That's what we figured the sucker was good for.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

That's a good enough reason for wanting Lil among the present instead of the late Raider. Tell me, what was the angle? Blackmail?

[Phil Rader]

Nah, nah, nothing so crude, Saint. I sponsor the party. Spot em, finger em and oil em and the Millers squeeze em through a deck of cards. The guy's a sucker for good looking dames and card games, that's all.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

That sounds very uncomplicated. Easy picking.

[Phil Rader]

The guy ain't had the coin long enough to be smart about it.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Who's the guy?

[Phil Rader]

He makes water heaters.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

The fat man with the diamonds from Passaic. That's a sucker I should have tumbled.

[Phil Rader]

Looks like you did. I thought you were out for a bust up. And 50G is a lot of money, Saint. I figured if I could scare you, it'd be insurance.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

How about Barbara Brooks?

[Phil Rader]

Ah, deal me out. I'm not in on whatever the caper is there.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

She saw you the day we sailed and she got scared.

[Phil Rader]

Maybe it's because I ain't exactly pretty. But if you really want to know something, Saint, I'll tell you. I was propositioned on a stunt against that dame a few weeks before we sailed. I turned her down. A big doe too.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

A murder deal?

[Phil Rader]

Yeah, big doe to bump her up. Not for me though. Nah, she's too prominent. Too much heat on those jobs.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Who made the offer, Raider?

[Phil Rader]

He wasn't exactly interested in leaving his calling card, St. Peter. Just a John Smith as far as I'm concerned.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

But he had a description, didn't he? Everybody has a description.

[Phil Rader]

Well, sure, sure. He was a medium sized guy with.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Hey, the lights.

[Phil Rader]

Who turned them off?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Get down. Raider. Raider. Raider. Are you brown? Brown tie, blue shirt, brown tie, blue shirt, brown tie, blue shirt. Not a very harmonious color scheme, is it? Hiccup radii.

Thank you, Raider. At least your last earthly utterance was in the direction of. Good. Thank you.

[Dr. Norman]

Brown tie, blue shirts. What does he mean, Simon?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, it means that either the man for whom I search isn't a very fastidious dresser. Dr. Or else?

[Dr. Norman]

Or else?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Or else he's colorblind. Blue and brown just aren't worn together.

[Dr. Norman]

Well, no, they are.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

I'll take that drink now, Doctor.

[Dr. Norman]

Oh, and the sedative I mixed for you. Your concussion.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Later, Doctor, later.

[Dr. Norman]

Very well. I can see that you're going to be a very difficult patient. I hope you don't mind drinking out of another medicine glass.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

No, right now. I prefer it.

[Dr. Norman]

Say when.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

A little more, Doctor. That's fine. Has such a beautiful color, hasn't it, Doctor?

[Dr. Norman]

Yeah, hasn't it? So, aren't you going to drink it, Simon?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

In a moment, Doctor, when I finish my story.

[Dr. Norman]

Oh, yes, of course, this story.

Barbara's murder was next.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yes, Barbara was next. But immediately before our last meeting on deck in the fog, Doctor, I found out what she was afraid of. You did? But how? It was easy. The steward had some keys, I had some money. The steward has enough now for that chicken ranch he's always dreamed of.

[Dr. Norman]

You broke into Barbara estate's room?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yes.

[Dr. Norman]

Well, what did you find, Simon?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Lingerie, perfume, stockings. And some letters, Doctor. Peculiar letters, huh?

[Dr. Norman]

Fan made.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yes, yes, and all from the same fan. A fan she was once engaged to marry, Doctor. A fan who loved her very much and hated her in equal proportions. Who was so torn between love and hate he had to kill her.

[Dr. Norman]

Schizophrenic, you should know. What do you mean?

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, you know the classifications. You're the doctor. Oh, yes.

[Dr. Norman]

Drink your sedative.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Simon got colorblind. Schizophrenic. I don't believe I've ever met one before, Dr. Norman. So colorblind. He mistook the green and orange harlequin costume worn by Lil Miller for the blue and yellow one worn by Barbara.

[Dr. Norman]

That is very interesting, Simon.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Poor Lil. If she'd come to the ball as anything but a harlequin, she'd have lived to take in $50,000.

[Dr. Norman]

You're sedative, Simon.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

You know, you were wrong about Lil's hair, Doctor. It wasn't red. It was brown.

[Dr. Norman]

You said it was red.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

I wanted to see if you'd agree.

[Dr. Norman]

Your sedative.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Yes, of course. Hand it to me, would you, Doctor? There, alongside the drink. No, no. Don't try to tell them apart by their aromas, Doctor. It's obvious that they're different colors. Or can't you tell?

[Dr. Norman]

You find it saint. I like very much for you to drink it, my doctor.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

What a pretty purple gun you're wearing. Or is it pink?

[Dr. Norman]

Drink up, Templar. You hardly feel it. It's just a Dash of prussic acid.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Dr. Norman, when you give a sedative, you go overboard.

[Dr. Norman]

Drink it, Templar.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Well, you're the doctor. A Toast to you, Dr. Norman. To your green shirt, blue tie and gray handkerchief, none of which match. Here's how.

[Dr. Norman]

My eyes. You threw it in my eyes.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

It was a question of your eyes or my stomach, Doctor. My eyes. I blind you. Get over it, Doctor. Which is more than can be said of me if one of those wild shots of yours should hit me. I know I shouldn't practice medicine without a license, Doctor, any more than you should. But here's a sedative from me to you.

Pleasant nightmares. Dr. Norman.

[Radio Announcer / Vincent Price]

You have been listening to another adventure of the Saint. The Robin Hood of modern crime. Now here is our star, Vincent Price.

[Narrator / Simon Templar]

Ladies and gentlemen, in a prejudice filled America, no one would be secure in his job, his business, his church or his home. Yet racial and religious antagonisms are exploited daily by quacks and adventurers whose followers make up the irresponsible lunatic fringe of American life. Refused to listen to or spread rumors against any race or religion. Help to stamp out prejudice in our country. Let's judge our neighbors by the character of their lives alone and not on the basis of their religion or origin. This is Vincent Price inviting you to join us again next week at the same time for another exciting adventure of the Saint. Good night.

Sam.

[Radio Announcer / Vincent Price]

The Night script of the Saint was written by Michael Kramoy. Our cast included Betty Lou Gerson, Gene Bates, Frank Gerstel, Bill Conrad and Barney Phillips. The music was composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. The Saint, based on characters created by Leslie Charteris, is a James L. Safier production and is directed by Thomas A. McEvitty. Vincent Price is soon to be seen in Harry M. Popkins production of Champagne for Caesar, co starring Ronald Coleman. All you Saint fans will be glad to know that the Saint comic books are on sale at all newsstands. Your announcer, Meryl Ross.

This is the mutual broadcasting system.

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