Podcast Summary: The Saint – "The Corpse Said Ouch" (08/06/1950)

Podcast: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: The Saint: The Corpse Said Ouch
Date Covered: March 2, 2026 (original air date: August 6, 1950)
Main Cast: Vincent Price as Simon Templar (The Saint)

Episode Overview

This engaging episode follows Simon Templar, alias "The Saint," as he unravels a mystery involving a woman declared dead in the morning paper—only to show up alive on his doorstep. What begins as darkly comic confusion escalates into a high-stakes investigation of theft, murder, mistaken identity, and a hidden cache of stolen jewels. With trademark wit, Templar navigates a cast of quirky characters and dangerous criminals to get to the bottom of the case.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. The Mystery Begins: "But I'm Dead"

• Francis Blake arrives at Simon Templar’s door, asking for help (01:21).
  • Claims she is "dead," referencing an obituary in the day's newspaper that has her listed as deceased, body at the Restwell Chapel.
  • Templar verifies she is alive with a playful pinch:

    "I never heard a corpse say ouch before. Therefore, you're not dead."
    —Simon Templar, 02:28

2. A Visit to the Funeral Parlor

• Simon and Francis, with comic relief cab driver Louie, visit Restwell Chapel to view "Francis Blake's" body (03:03–06:48).
  • Discover a murdered woman wearing Francis's distinctive plaid coat, confirming a case of mistaken identity.
  • Panic ensues over why someone would want Francis dead or confuse another for her.

3. Home Intrusion & Olga's Entrance

• At Francis’s apartment, the pair find a mysterious woman, Olga, rifling through belongings—a search disguised with melodrama (09:24–11:00).
  • Olga comments on "your wife" and her "magnificent symphony" with Simon, in a show-stopping performance:

    "I never pinch. Except boys. Simon, you are disappointing me. Goodbye."
    —Olga, 10:51

  • After Olga leaves, Simon notes the room has been searched.

4. Tracing the Plaid Coat: To the Cleaners

• Francis reveals her coat was recently dropped at Carter Cleaners (12:24).
• Simon suspects the coat was stolen there and heads to the cleaning shop to question the manager, Mr. Maxson (13:02–14:38).
  • Maxson acts suspicious ("I am crazy about carbon tetrachloride fumes." —Maxson, 14:21).
  • After hours visit yields no answers, but Simon insists on following up.

5. The Nightclub Stakeout: Barker’s Bandbox

• Simon, Francis, and Louie follow Maxson to a nightclub, suspecting criminal connections with club owner Jake Barker (16:43–17:02).
  • Eavesdrop on tense exchanges about "the stones"—clearly stolen jewels (17:34).
  • Simon and Francis are threatened at gunpoint but manage to escape (18:03–18:18).

6. Murder Strikes Again: Olga’s Fate

• Returning to Francis's apartment, Olga is found murdered (18:49–19:10).
  • Stakes rise as Simon realizes the killer is closing in:

    "She isn't beautiful anymore."
    —Simon Templar, 19:06

  • Police involvement grows as Simon resolves to protect Francis.

7. Ransom & Jewels

• Francis is kidnapped from her apartment by Barker’s men, who demand the location of the "stones" (20:14–21:44).
  • Simon bargains for her safety, claiming he knows where the jewels are hidden—in Carter Cleaners (22:06–22:31).

8. Climactic Discovery: The Dress Rack Riddle

• At Carter Cleaners, with everyone present, Simon unravels the real hiding place for the jewels (24:06–25:37):

  • Realizes the jewels (not rhinestones but real stones) are sewn into a cheap dress on the rack—a "tree hidden in a forest."

    "You'd hide it in a forest. Therefore... a dress that doesn't fit with the rest."
    —Simon Templar, 25:03

  • Chaos and double-crosses ensue; Barker kills Maxson, and the gang flees under threat from Simon, who uses the pressing machine as leverage.

9. The Solution Summed Up

• Simon explains the criminals’ method: using clients’ distinctive clothes as disguises while hiding stolen goods in plain sight at the cleaners. Maxson killed to keep the loot, and violence snowballed from there (27:10):

  "Maxson and Barker were partners in the jewelry business. Illegitimate. They'd use very distinctive clothes left with a cleaning shop as disguises for themselves and their confederates..."
  —Simon Templar, 27:10

  • Francis, relieved, thanks Simon as the dust settles.

Memorable Quotes & Character Moments

• Simon’s Playful Banter:

  "I know, but this way was more fun. Also, I never heard a corpse say ouch before."
  (Simon Templar to Francis, 02:28)

• Louie’s Comic Relief:

  "Considering the type of company you're keeping, I ain't waiting till nobody plays no hot licks and a trumpet."
  (Louie, 04:30)

• Olga’s Flamboyance:

  "I never pinch. Except boys. Simon, you are disappointing me. Goodbye."
  (Olga, 10:51)

• Simon’s Clues and Deduction:

  "Suppose you wanted to hide a tree so you couldn't find it. Where would you hide it? ... In a forest."
  (Simon Templar, 25:01)

• Wrap-Up Explanation:

  "They'd use very distinctive clothes left with a cleaning shop as disguises ... lead back only to innocent people..."
  (Simon Templar, 27:26)

Key Timestamps for Important Moments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|----------------------------------------------| | 01:21 | Francis tells Simon she is "dead" | | 05:52 | Discovery of the murdered woman in the chapel| | 09:24 | Olga’s dramatic entrance | | 12:24 | Francis reveals the coat went to cleaners | | 14:38 | Confrontation with Mr. Maxson at cleaners | | 17:34 | Overheard: crooks discussing "the stones" | | 18:49 | Olga found murdered | | 20:14 | Francis abducted | | 24:06 | Showdown in Carter Cleaners | | 25:03 | Solution: Jewels hidden in rhinestone dress | | 27:10 | Simon explains the entire plot to Francis |

Tone & Style

• The episode features Simon Templar’s dry wit, comic banter from cabbie Louie, and melodramatic interludes from characters like Olga.
• Despite murder and danger, the tone is brisk, irreverent, and laced with humor and clever wordplay.
• Simon’s intelligent, slightly mocking approach is central; he solves the crime with deduction and a wink.

Conclusion

"The Corpse Said Ouch" brings together the classic elements of Golden Age radio detective drama: misdirection, offbeat humor, brisk pacing, colorful supporting characters, and a satisfyingly clever solution. Vincent Price's Simon Templar is suave, quick-witted, and never loses his cool, making this an entertaining listen for both old-time radio fans and hardboiled-mystery aficionados.

For more episodes, subscribe to Choice Classic Radio Detectives and relive the golden era of crime-solving radio!