In this episode of Choosing to Stay, certified relational and recovery coaches Halle Roddick and Stephanie Hamby continue their multi-part series on attachment styles, focusing on secure attachment — what it looks like, how it develops, and why it’s a vital goal after infidelity and betrayal.

They explore:

What attachment theory is and the four main styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized)
How secure attachment shows up in healthy romantic relationships
Why betrayal ruptures both real and perceived secure attachments
The importance of building self-secure attachment before working on relational repair
Practical ways to cultivate internal safety, self-worth, and groundedness
The role of individual healing work for both the betrayed partner and the one seeking recovery
How rupture and repair cycles strengthen trust in secure relationships

Resources Mentioned:

You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For – Richard Schwartz (Book Link)
No Bad Parts – Richard Schwartz (Book Link)
Altogether You – Jenna Riemersma (Book Link)
Help.Her.Heal – Carol J. Sheets (Book Link)
Internal Family Systems (IFS) Institute (Website)

Connect with Us: Follow the podcast for candid discussions on healing, growth, and the journey of choosing to stay after betrayal.

Your Hosts:

Hali RoderickCertified Relational Recovery CoachTICC, ACC, APSATS CPC, ERCEM-C, Brainspotting Practitioner

Read Hali’s Bio

Stephanie HambyCertified Relational Recovery CoachMCLC, ACC, APSATS CPC, ERCEM-CRead Stephanie’s Bio

We look forward to journeying with you!

#120 Moving Toward Secure Attachment After Betrayal