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Wondery that's greenlight.com wondery welcome to Chrisley Confessions 2.0. How are you today?
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Good. Good.
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So what's the latest? I mean. Well, I know what the latest is.
A
The latest is we have had so much going on.
B
Right.
A
First of all, I want to say I was so happy to have Nanny on last week's podcast.
B
Right.
A
You know, the thing about nanny is she's funny and she doesn't even know she's funny.
B
No, she just.
A
Which makes her even more funny.
B
Yep. She has no clue.
A
And what a blessing it is that we have these podcast cast and just like filming and, and I mean it's, it's amazing home movies and yes. That we could, we could never have have had any other way. I mean, I think for it and.
B
I think about, you know, that our grandchildren, they'll have Chris Knows Best.
A
Right?
B
Our great grandchildren will have Chris Knows Best. They'll have these podcasts and you know, we will have these podcasts and Chrissy Knows Best with our parents. So, you know, when that time comes and they're not with us anymore, we still have that. And so I'm grateful for that.
A
But yeah, we've had so much going on. We moved Grayson into school, into college and that was so, just such a great few days for me because it is something that it pained me to miss that his first semester when he went to Alabama. And again, you know, I had prepared myself that, yes, I would be there before he graduated, but I didn't think it would be this soon.
B
Right.
A
So it was just such a blessing for us both to be there to. Even though we were cleaning and cleaning bathrooms and scrubbing showers and doing all that stuff, it was such a blessing to be able to be there for him. And I know he did the same thing for you. But you know, he sent us text about just how happy he was that we were there because he said he had kind of resigned himself to the fact that he didn't think we would be there.
B
He wasn't going to get his hopes up. He said Deep down, I prayed that you would. That you would end up being here, but I just wasn't going to let myself be led down that road to be disappointed.
A
Right.
B
And so it was a wonderful, wonderful weekend to spend that with him, to get his place, you know, furnished and get all of his stuff put up and make sure everything was clean, the way he was brought up and all of his clothes or whether it stays.
A
That way as a whole, we know.
B
It'S not going to stay that way. So that's why I was ti. That's why I said, we've got to hire.
A
Gives me a reason. No, it gives me a reason to go down there. I mean, we're like, what, three hours and 20 minutes away. That's nothing.
B
Well, the reason for me to go down there is not for me to clean up somebody's.
A
But I don't mind. I really don't mind, and I look forward to it any. All he would have to do is say, mom, I need this. I'm there. I'm there immediately.
B
He actually sent me a text earlier today and said, dad, when can you come see me again?
A
Yeah. Yeah. Well, he sent me one that. I think I might want to come home. I said, come home. Come home, please. I welcome it. So I. It. That just makes me so happy. I've been getting Chloe ready for school, so when we're. As we're recording this podcast, she'll be starting school literally tomorrow. And again, I'm super happy for that. You know, I never. She and I would talk, and I would be there. I would be like, you know, Chloe, you know, mom won't be there for seventh grade, but I will be there at some point for eighth grade. So to know that, yeah, I was able to do back to school day. We did that yesterday to get her ready. She's been having this thing where she wants to take her lunch, and Savannah.
B
Would not allow that.
A
Very adamant. You're not taking your lunch. And so she. She said, mom, I really want to take my lunch. I really want to take my lunch. And I said, I didn't say anything. And Savannah's like, she's not taking her lunch. She could. We just need to buy the lunch.
B
Well, I want to get. I want to touch on that right quick. Savannah said she's not taking her lunch. And I think that it's a huge transition for Savannah to realize she's having to realize that she's not calling the shots anymore with them.
A
Right. To give that. Give that.
B
To give that control back and.
A
And. And we're handling that in our own way and at our own speed.
B
Right?
A
That's fine. So yesterday, I had to go to the Container Store, and she had seen.
B
A lunchbox, a pink lunchbox that she wanted, but you let someone else buy it.
A
Yeah, well, whatever. So while I Container Store, I saw one similar to the one she picked out. So I FaceTimed her, and I'm like, is this what you wanted? And she's like, yeah. Does this mean I get to carry my lunch? And so we're gonna try it. You know, for 28 months, I would have given anything to be able to fix a lunch.
B
Right.
A
So now I look at it that she wants to take her lunch. Okay, we'll do that. You know, so it is those little things that you take for granted. But I'm super, super grateful that I'm here to do it. So we start school tomorrow. I'm going to drop her off. She said, today. Well, you know, you and dad can take turns. I said, clay is probably not.
B
Yeah, Dad's not. I mean, Dad's gone. Dad's been able to dodge five other kids.
A
I said, you know, there's been five to come before you. And dad did not do drop off. Dad would pick up on a rare occasion that he. If he had to. I said, but not even think like that. That's gonna be mom's job. And she laughed, and she said, that's okay, Mom. That's okay. I said, good girl. I don't want you to get disappointed because he ain't picking you up and he definitely is not taking you in the morning. That is not his job. That is not something he's gonna do.
B
No, no.
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So, yeah, so it's been. It's been a good time. It's been a good week or a couple weeks. Savannah is just leaving her place to us for the moment, and she's gotten her own place.
B
She went and got a comment, and.
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She seems to be super happy. We're still doing that part. We're transitioning into her place, so I've been helping. I put her pantry together, and that was great. And after I finished this podcast, I'm actually going to help her this afternoon. So, yeah, so we're kind of all finding our place at the moment, and I think that's good.
B
Well, you know, speaking of that, there's something which I've not even read this to you yet, but when you brought up, you know, so many things that's going on. Yesterday, Alexa, who is our publicist, sends me an email that was sent to our attorney, Jay Sergeant in New York from the National Enquirer.
A
Oh, my gosh.
B
So we all know that you can believe what's in the Inquirer.
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Nothing.
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Right. So, National Inquirer comment request regarding Todd and Julie Chrisley, to whom it may concern. The National Inquirer is preparing a story reporting Todd and Julie Chrisley are struggling to readjust to life post prison, with sources. Sources saying the transition has created tension in their marriage.
A
Okay.
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Insiders claim the couple is having difficulty reconnecting after more than two years apart and are overwhelmed by the press of resuming public life, including filming their upcoming reality series. Did you have any trouble filming?
A
No.
B
Did I have any trouble filming?
A
No.
B
Have we had any trouble reconnecting?
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No.
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So the part still worked. They still fail. My God, it's like plugging into the same station. Sources say they've admitted to feeling safer behind bars and that recent podcast appearances have sparked concern among fans over signs of strain in their relationship. If you have any comment on the article, please respond directly to this email comment request. Mediaco.biz by 5pm today or they're going to write their. They're going to write their fabricated story, right? So let's hit those one at a time, okay? The National Inquirer is preparing a story reporting that Todd and Julia Chris are struggling to readjust to life post prison.
A
Okay, first of all, and I want to be completely transparent, right, There is an adjustment period. It's not an adjustment. It's not an adjustment period in our marriage per se. It's just an adjustment period.
B
Back to life.
A
Back to life, Right. You know, again, we were given one of the greatest gifts we could, could have ever been given. And that is a full unconditional pardon.
B
Right? And let me explain, right quick to, to some people out there because there's still so many people wondering, a full unconditional pardon. There is no restitution. There is nothing there. We have been pardoned for white clean.
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We are not felons.
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Right? And for those people out there who are still questioning, oh, well, they got away with, you know, stealing all this money. You're going to find out in the new docu series that there was this money was not. There was no money stolen. You're going to also find out in the coming months about the two prosecutors that were involved in our case and the witness, the so called witness that has now been placed under FBI investigation. You're going to find out about these two attorneys, prosecutors that neither one of them are with the U.S. attorney's office anymore. So you're going to find out all that stuff, but.
A
Okay, let me finish.
B
Go ahead.
A
Because this is another thing people were talking about in the podcast, how you kept cutting me off.
B
Then let me apologize.
A
Listen, Todd and I have been together for 31 years. Trust me when I say I can stand my own ground.
B
Thank you.
A
I can stand with the best of them. I have stood with him for 31 years. So.
B
So that made prison easier for you.
A
No one needs to worry about that. Does he get a little lippy sometimes? Absolutely. And I have to know when I put him in this place. And just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
B
Thank you.
A
Let me just say that. Okay, so with that being said, you're.
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Getting a little nippy today.
A
There is an adjustment period.
B
Right?
A
I don't believe anyone can go through what we went through and think that you are not changed because you are. There are differences, that you view things differently, you react differently. It is what it is. I've talked to many people who have been to prison. I've talked to people that I was in prison with that have come home and have faced similar issues and have said to me, I don't even know how you're doing what you're doing, because for the first six months, I could. There's no way I could have done what you've done in the first three.
B
I've had some. I've had people to say that to me.
A
I'm not even three months. I mean, we haven't even been out three months. So, yes, there is an adjustment period, but our marriage is not struggling. Our marriage is not fragile. Our marriage. We survived prison.
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Thank you.
A
We survived being away from each other for 28 months, not being able to speak other than through emails that you may or may not get.
B
Right.
A
So anyway, that. Just saying that, you know, people think podcasting is just talking into a mic, but let me tell you, my brain doesn't shut off even when this mic is turned off. Between planning episodes, researching topics, and that 3am spiral where I rethink everything I've ever said, Sleep wasn't exactly my strong suit. Even get me started about those late night creative bursts that hit right when I finally lay down, in addition to everything else that I have going on throughout the day, I knew I needed something to help me actually wind down and not just knock me out, but help me wake up feeling like a functioning human the next day. That's when I found Beam's Dream Powder and let me tell you, it changed everything. Dream is an all natural sleep blend made with science backed ingredients like Reishi, magnesium, L theanine, Apigenin and melatonin. All designed to help you fall asleep, stay asleep and wake up refreshed. And unlike other sleep aids, there's no next day grogginess, just real deep sleep that helps you actually feel good in the morning. Since adding dream to my routine, I'm sleeping through the night without tossing and turning. I wake up actually refreshed. Not groggy, not exhausted, just ready to take on the day. And I'm not the only one. Beam has improved over 17.5 million nights of sleep and 92% of users surveyed reported better sleep and waking up refreshed. What I love most Beam is an American company built and run right here. So when you support them, you're backing real people making great products the right way. Plus, for a limited time, Beam is giving our listeners their best offer yet, up to 40% off. Try their best selling Dream Powder and get up to 40% off for a limited time. Go to shopbeam.comChrisley and use code Chrisley at checkout. That's shop b e a m.comChrisley and use code CHRISLEY for up to 40% off. Do you have cooking or grilling anxiety? You know that moment of truth when everyone sits down at the table and you brace yourself while they cut into their meat, whether it be raw chicken drama. Did I ruin a hundred dollars worth of steaks? How bad does salmonella get? Yes, that's all changed with Chef IQ Sense. It's a wireless cooking thermometer that turns you into a master chef. It work for all types of cooking, grilling, pan, searing, roasting, everything. And it's so easy. You just insert the sensor into your steak, chicken, fish, whatever you're cooking. You open the Chef IQ app. Choose how you want it cooked. Rare, medium, well done, Any preference with multiple pros. Everyone gets exactly what they want. Then you can sit back and relax. It sends real time updates. It tells you when to flip, take it off, and even how long to let it rest. Seriously, it's like having a culinary coach in your pocket. No more guessing, no more lid lifting, no more dinner disasters. Chef IQ Sense is precision cooking for everyone. Trust me, you'll wonder how you cooked without it. I was able to download the app which is super easy. It has so many great things. It has recipes and it actually has a step by step and video which is just great for anybody whether you are Just learning to cook or if you've been cooking forever like me, I actually love using this. And right now you can get 15% off site wide with code chrisley@chef IQ.com that chef IQ.com promo code Chrisley, you.
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And I have been having trouble reconnecting after two years apart and are overwhelmed by the pressures of resuming public life.
A
I don't think there's been a. I don't, I don't think we've had an issue with reconnecting. I've, I've actually said the opposite. I felt like that when we came home, there was this like just familiarity. Familiar, Is that how you say it?
B
Familiarity?
A
There was this just comfort, there was this peace of knowing that we were back together and we kind of just fit right back into the roles and our marriage and our family. Yes, there's been a lot going on. We've had a lot of stuff to go on and to occur. We had a lot of stuff to go on before we went to prison, right? Yes, it's been busy. It's been crazy and at times it's been overwhelming. But that's just life in general. We had that before we went to prison.
B
Right, exactly.
A
So it's not like this is something new.
B
Have we had a problem resuming life in the public eye?
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I really don't think so. I mean, you know, I would if again, I want to be 100% transparent. I think when I came home I was a little maybe standoffish. Just because, you know, when you've been in prison, when you've been, you kind of have this protective wall that you build around yourself. It's just self preservation more so than anything. So I think it does take time to drop that, you know, to let certain things go and to just be like, okay, I'm not waiting on the next foot to fall. I'm not waiting on something bad to happen. Because for so long before this, leading up to the actual going to prison, there were years that we fought and years that there was attorneys and all this stuff that we had to do before we ever actually saw the light of day of going to prison.
B
Right.
A
So I think there's just a whole combination of things. So I think to think that you can come home after 28 months and whether you're in the public eye or not, there's going to be this readjustment period with your, with your spouse, with your children, with your parents, with your loved ones, with your friends, with everybody. And I think to think that obviously people who are Saying this have never been in our shoes.
B
Right. Well, I think for me, you know, I agree with that. But I've never been for the, I've never been wanting to be out in the public anyway. That's been a pro. That's been something that you, that you didn't like. You wanted, you wanted me to go out more, you wanted, you wanted us to go out to dinner more and whatever. And I wasn't comfortable in doing that because we, it was not a enjoyable experience for me because when I want to have my dinner, I want to be left alone. And we were not afforded that. So I became accustomed to just staying at home. You guys would say, if dad's not going to, we're not going to be bothered as much. So I would stay at home. I've had no problem, problems in the public arena. I mean, I, I've spoken in front of thousands of people, you know, and in Tampa, I'm out in Nashville every day doing something. So I've had no, no issues with that. As far as feeling safer behind bars, I don't. Or, you know, in prison, I think that's just such an insult to say that you feel safer in a prison than you would feel in your own home.
A
Right?
B
So that's just made up bullshit.
A
Absolutely.
B
And as far as, you know, strain in our relationship, as I've said in other podcasts, I was never away from you. In my mind, right? In my mind and my heart and my spirit, you were with me 24 hours a day. So I said this to someone last week when they said, you know, how was it when you first saw Julie? I said, there was no difference for me. I said, because she never left me, she being you. And so I just think that, you know, when you. We've had so many lies written about us, all for the clicks so that they can make money off of our name. And the more egregious the lie is, the more clicks they generate, right? And so when this was sent to me yesterday, Alexa said, you know, we're not commenting on garbage, right? We're just not going to do it. And especially with the Inquirer, right? And I said, no, I'm going to address it on the podcast, right? And I says, and then I'm going to post it on Tick Tock and I'm going to let everyone in the world know that the Inquirer has now been placed on notice that you're getting ready to write a story that is fraudulent and a lie. And I'm going to have Marty Singer to deal with it. So if you write a story about me or my family and it's a lie and you hide behind your sources, you do understand that we're going to have Marty Singer to sue you on our behalf and in depositions and in discovery, you will have to turn that information over. We know. Because we've won several of those. So, you know, I wanted to kind of go ahead and put that out there to make sure that we get in front of. Doesn't bother me. Well, not a lot bothers me as you. As you know now. I mean, and I think you feel the same way, because once you've had so many lies told on you, once you've been through what we've been through, it's hard, right? And. But once you get to the other side of it, you're like, I did that. I'm bored with that. You know, I've listened to that same lie over and over and over again.
A
Right?
B
So the only way that you break people like this is you got to let them around and find out, and that's exactly what's going to happen. So, you know, I'm glad we talked about that. Also, you know that I've been putting off this next topic because it is still very painful for me. But I have had so many people send me messages on Instagram wanting to know why I haven't discussed it, and I just wasn't ready to discuss it. I'm actually not ready to discuss it today. But out of respect for Nick and the love that we have for him today and we'll have for him for the rest of our days, I'm going to have this conversation one time, and I'm never talking about it again. So a lot of the questions were, why have you not talked about Nick on the podcast yet? Well, that's very simple, because it is still very fresh to me. My heart has not healed, and I don't know that it ever will heal. And I don't feel like I owe that to you. I don't feel like I owe it to you, to anyone, to talk about how I feel about him today versus how I felt about him when he lost his life. But out of respect for the love that we have for him, I will tell you, it was the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with in my life. Your breast cancer was the thing that crippled me. It was the thing that took me to my knees. Then I lost my dad. I could accept losing my dad because my dad was. Had lived his life. He had seen his children, his grow up, marry grandchildren. And my focus was. I remember praying to God during that time, saying, God, if you have to take one of them, don't take my wife. And I struggled so long with thinking that I had bartered my dad's death order. If God could only save one, he had to save you.
A
Because I think maybe people don't know. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in March of 2012. He was diagnosed with liver cancer in May, actually, when we were at Johns Hopkins at the same time.
B
Right. But I survived that. But for those of you who don't know, Nick Cordelas was one of the finest, funniest, kindest young men. And I so wanted him, he, and Savannah to be married. I wanted grandchildren. And that didn't come to pass. But even when they broke up, I still had lunch with Nick. I still talk to Nick every day. We text a million times a day. When I left to go to the prison in Pensacola, Nick.
A
Well, I think before that, Nick was there during our trial.
B
He was there the entire time of the trial.
A
He drove us every day to trial. He made sure we had something to eat in the mornings, Starbucks, whatever.
B
He and Savannah were no longer together, but he was still there for us.
A
Absolutely, he was.
B
And when it came time for me to go and the preparations were being made for me to go to Pensacola, Nick said, I would love to take you, if you'll let me. And I said, absolutely. So it was me and Nick and Savannah and Grayson. And I emailed with Nick every day. And I remember the day that I walked into the VR, the visitation room. Savannah had her back turned. So when I walked in, all I saw was her back with her and she and Grayson and Chloe. And I said, hey. And Chloe ran to me, was crying. I said, what's wrong? And Savannah turned around, and I said, what's wrong? And she fell into my arms, and she said, he's gone. I said, who's gone? Because all I could think of was Chase. And I said, who's gone? And she said, nick. And I remember just crumbling. I didn't. I didn't care who saw it in the. In the waiting room. I just remember crumbling. And she found out as she landed, as soon as she landed there right in Pensacola. So she got off the plane, and it was truly. It was truly so surreal that I became numb. And we cried that whole visitation. And I went back to my room, and I got on my bed, and my friend Melvin Williams, who worked with me in the chapel, he said, what's wrong? And I told him, and he knew how much I love Nick. And do you know that every night when I went to sleep that Melvin got off of his bunk and kneeled at my bed and put his hand on my bed and prayed over his rosary for me and our family. So I loved Nick. And I love him to this day. Nick was my friend. He was my buddy. He was another son to me. And there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. What sits on our bedside table now?
A
Yeah. There's a picture of you and Savannah. And, you know, I think we had talked. You and I have said many times, like, when you're in prison, time kind of stands still with certain. With the outside world. Like, you have your world inside the prison.
B
Right.
A
But even though all this stuff is continuing to happen, your kids are growing, things are happening. It kind of stopped when you came into the prison. So it was just weird to come.
B
Home and him not be here.
A
And him not be here. Because there is no doubt in my.
B
Mind that he would have been there. He would have picked me up.
A
He would have picked you up?
B
Yes.
A
There is no doubt in my mind. Even though he and Savannah, you know, had been apart for a few years, then there's no doubt in my mind he would have picked you up. And, you know, we've said. I've said. It just seems weird, you know, it just seems weird that Nick hadn't come by the house. Nick's not, you know, I would always say, you know, because we were filming, you know, Nick was selling real estate.
B
Whatever, whoever was selling real estate.
A
But in the evenings, most of the time, everybody would just come to our house to eat dinner, and Nick would walk through the door. Savannah may already be there. She may not have gotten there yet. But if I was in that kitchen, he would come to the kitchen and he would start washing the dishes. That was his job. It did not matter. And I used to always say I might send Savannah to the curb, but he's staying.
B
That's it. That's it.
A
And, you know, that was just a running joke. So. So, yeah, it's. It's. Yeah, it's. It is. It's surreal.
B
And there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. And I think I still grieve for what could have been.
A
Right. Yeah.
B
Because I had always hoped.
A
Yeah, they would find their way back.
B
They would find their way back.
A
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
B
And I think Savannah felt that they would find their way back. Yeah, she had said that. She says, we'll. We'll figure this out. We'll figure it out. And so many people have reached out to me about, you know, they. They couldn't get in touch with me, but when Nick passed, but that they wanted to let me know that they knew how much I loved him. And I said, no, I love.
A
Right.
B
It's not past tense for me. My love is not past tense. And so I've given you what you've asked for. I've talked about something that is very near and dear to me.
A
Someone that is very near.
B
And so don't message me anymore and ask me anything about him, because I've given you all I'm going to give you for him. The kid could not even die in peace. That the tabloids was not running stories about Savannah Chrisley's fiance killed on a motorcycle wreck. It should have been Nick Cordelia's former NHL player. He had. He had success in his life.
A
Successful real estate agent. Just so many things.
B
Exactly. He was so much more than Savannah Chrisley. Fiance. Ex. Fiance. Boyfriend. He was a good, decent, honorable human being who loved and wanted to be loved. And I feel blessed and honored to know that for four and a half years, God gave us that. And he felt that Nick Kardelas did not leave this earth feeling as if the Chrisleys did not love him.
A
Absolutely.
B
So with that being said, that's the end of my conversation about my son, Nick Cordelia. Now we can move on. So what else would you like to talk about?
A
I don't know. That was a lot.
B
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A
Let's be honest. Most of us are tired, stressed and dealing with some kind of pain. And what do we do? We power through. Because the last thing we want is another prescription. And let's face, nothing in the medicine cabinet ever actually works. That's why I'm so glad I found CB Distillery. Their CBD products are helping so many people, myself included, sleep better, feel more relaxed and ease everyday pain. And the best part, it's all made with premium quality natural ingredients. They've got a full range of solutions for stress, sleep, pain after exercise, and even CBD for pets. Their soothing relief balm is a huge customer favorite and so are their sleep products. I actually love the CBD Relief Balm. For those of you who may not know, I have feet issues and this balm helps. It just helps me to be able to fall asleep in and it really does help with the pain. So if you're tired of being tired and stressed or just want to feel better in your body, check out CBD from CB Distillery. And right now you can save 25% off your entire purchase. Visit CB Distillery and use promo code Chrisley. That that's CBDistillery.com promo code Chrisley CBDistillery.com okay, let's talk about something super important. Your health. You want more energy, better focus, less stress. It all starts in your gut. Because when your gut is out of whack, everything feels off. Your mood, your digestion, your sleep, everything. That's why we love Just Thrive Probiotic. Most probiotics never make it to your gut alive. But just Thrive is clinically proven to arrive in your gut 100, 100% alive and actually work for you. That means less bloat, healthy immunity and that steady feel good energy to tackle your day. So here's our challenge for you. Try just thrive probiotic for 90 days 100% risk free and see how much better you feel. Don't just take our word for it. Take control of your gut and take control of everything else you'll see. I was actually so happy to get my Just Thrive, because I feel like everyone, everywhere you look, everyone says they have a gut issue. So I am super excited. I have been on this for a while now, and I can truly tell a difference, just how much better I feel. So head over to justthrive health.com confessions to save 20% and start your 90 day Just Thrive challenge today. If you don't love the way you feel, ask for a full product refund, no questions asked. Because when you fuel your gut, you fuel your life. That's justthrivehealth.com confessions. But, you know, that's part of Chrisley Confessions. I think it's. It's being able to share those portions of our life that we choose to share, whether they're good, they're bad, they're happy, they're sad, because we all have them. And I think that's something that is necessary.
B
You know, the effect of Nick's loss or the loss of Nick resonated throughout our entire family.
A
Yeah.
B
Because it was devastating for Mama because Mama was so close to him, right. And he worshiped her.
A
And.
B
And then you look back on the effect that it's had on Chloe and on Grayson and on Chase, you know, it. Which was so. Because, you know, Chase was always. Nick was always calling Chase out for his shit.
A
Right. And they would butt heads and.
B
But I was. I was sitting on the plane with Chase on Sunday and we were talking, we were having a very serious conversation, and I realized at that moment how much this has affected him.
A
Right.
B
With Nick.
A
Yeah.
B
And he has a folder on his.
A
Phone.
B
All the pictures of he and Nick and the videos of them doing stupid stuff.
A
Yeah.
B
And he was just weeping, right. And I said, son, I said, you have to let it out. I said, you can't hang on to it. That's why you're so angry right now, because you're holding all this stuff in.
A
Right?
B
And I said, so you have to let it out and you have to process it correctly. You have to be with a therapist that can help you work through these things.
A
Right.
B
And Chase views therapy as weak.
A
Right.
B
I don't need someone else to help me process my emotions.
A
Right.
B
And I told him, I said, you can spend the rest of your life holding all the. Carrying all this stuff. I said, you can lay it at God's feet.
A
Right.
B
And be free.
A
Yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, there I am a believer of therapy, as I have said, I think early the very maybe first episode of the new podcast that you know, I actually did therapy when I was in prison. And you know, I had.
B
I don't know what therapy you was doing in prison.
A
I had, I had, I had actually a great doctor there. But more importantly is, it was a small group setting and I literally had a friend of mine who is in a halfway house right now. And she said to me, I'd give anything to see you because you brought such positive and wisdom to our group. And I miss it. Like, she said that to me just the other day. So I do believe in it. I do believe in it. I believe there's. As with anything, as with doctors, as with therapists, as with hairstylists, there's good and there's bad.
B
Well, I learned, I have learned that there's purpose in the pain, right. That purpose, it may take time to be revealed, but ultimately it will be revealed that there's purpose in the pain.
A
Right.
B
And you know, I was showing you last night where someone had sent me a thing, it was a clip on Instagram and said it was a pastor doing a sermon and he was talking about Joseph and said, you can take a prince and send him to prison and he will turn it into a palace.
A
Right.
B
And you can take, you know, and then you can take a prince who can turn a palace into a prison.
A
Right?
B
And they said, you turned the prison into a palace. You're our modern day Joseph. And I was showing you that last night and I lay there and I thought about that and I got up this morning and I thought about when I was shaving, I was standing there just thinking and reflecting and talking to God. And I thought, there's so many, so many things that are reminiscent about the story of Joseph in the Bible and what we've gone through.
A
Yeah.
B
And to know that the time that I was there with, with my friends, for them to say, in a collective, as a collective whole, that I made their time so much easier and so much better. I feel, I feel a purpose, right? There's a purpose in that. And so we all know I love to be called a prince.
A
Don't get carried away.
B
But. But need a grandmother, Right. But I think that there's purpose in the pain. And for me, the purpose in that pain was trying to make things easier for everyone else around me collectively so that we could all get through this. And you just said it was in.
A
A different way, but it was, it was, was. It was, it was the same. Yeah, because.
B
Because I've read some of the letters that people have sent you.
A
Right.
B
And I just look at them. And I think to myself that this is who I've known for 31 years. I knew this. I know this about her, right? And now is. And I don't. I don't hate saying what I'm getting ready to say. I just maybe don't know how to say it correctly, but I'm so grateful if it took this for the world to actually see who you are and what you actually have to offer, because you became a mother to these younger girls there, right? You. You actually became the only mother figure that they've ever had in their life. And some of them.
A
Yeah.
B
And so I look at it and I think, now read these letters and I see the emails and stuff, you know, that people send you, and I think, well, this is. This is. This is who she is. She. Yes, she would have done this. And people would say to me at Pensacola, what do you think Julie's doing? I said, taking care of somebody, as it's all she knows to do. And they said, well, then, so she's doing the same thing you're doing. And I said, well, that's. Because that's what we know. That's what. That's our company.
A
I'm super excited. I'm excited for, you know, I think for me, it's taken me a few months to get acclimated back, but there are so many things that I want to do, you know, there's so many things I want to do for people that are in prison, you know, that as I can and as time allows and resources allow and everything, because I don't want them to feel forgotten. I don't want them to feel as though, okay, she's out, she's moved on with her life, and, you know, we're just a thing of the past.
B
And that would be easy to do. And listen, it is.
A
It is, because, you know, constantly feel this, and I don't know about you, maybe you don't, but I do constantly feel this pull back to those women, to those people, those friends, that lifelong friends. I'm so excited. One of my friends is coming home next week, and I can't wait to see her because it's actually within driving distance so I can see her. And I can't wait for that, you know, I can't wait to be able to just reconnect with her because for those months and, you know, you develop this bond, and it's such a. It's such a closer bond than friends are on the outside. I feel like in a lot of ways.
B
Well, let me Tell you what.
A
I think it's all that you have. And for me and where I was, the place I was at was not big. We all lived in one. It was one building. And that was your dorms. That was your kitchen. That was your library. That was your church. That was your commissary. That was everything. So it was. Was. It was close quarters. So it wasn't like you. You know, some of these prisons are huge, and you never see someone if they're in a different dorm or a different unit than you. It was one unit. So, you know, you're. You're with these people every single day. Eating, sleeping, worshiping, working, everything. So your friendships that you develop, even though they may only be there for a few months, you sometimes, if you. If you connect with someone, you have this bond that you just. It's unbreakable.
B
It's purpose in the pain.
A
Yeah, absolutely.
B
That's what it comes down to. It's just truly purpose in the pain.
A
Right.
B
And, you know, I think about my friends every day. Well, you know what? I deal with every.
A
Right. Right.
B
I am fighting to get my guys home. I'm fighting to get every person, not just my folks in Pensacola.
A
Right.
B
I'm fighting for every person with it that is incarcerated within the Bureau of Prisons, and that is for the correction of the fsa, you know, for the Second Chance, the proper implementation of the Second Chance Act. You know, get securing more phone minutes for them.
A
Absolutely.
B
Dealing with the corruption that's going. Going on within the Bureau of Prisons regarding the commissary accounts.
A
Right.
B
The abuse that goes on, the manipulation with the wardens and the, you know, the AWS and the. And the corrupt staff members that are there. You know, I've talked about that, and I'll continue to talk about it, but I do think that it's fair to say that not every person that works for the Bureau of Prisons is a bad person.
A
Right.
B
There are some good people.
A
Right.
B
And I've called out the handful of people that I felt were good at Pensacola. You've called out the one guy there where you work that you said was. You've actually called out more than one. One guy. You actually said that you've got your case, your former case manager there, that you love.
A
Both of my case managers. My case manager, when I first got there, he was great. He retired while I was there, and then the person that replaced him, she's great as well. You know, I had officers, I had, you know, different people throughout that were always good to me, that were just I can't. Like I didn't have that same experience that you had in that regard. Yes. You know, my facility was much worse. My living conditions were much worse, nurse, you know, so forth and so on. But as far as that part of it. Okay, I can do that.
B
That's, you know, you. Like I said, you do have some good staff members.
A
Absolutely.
B
But the, but the, but literally the bad far outweigh the good.
A
Right.
B
Because you know where one of my kids was sent to Ashland, Kentucky. That is a. That facility there is ran so poorly because we went. We went to visit him.
A
Right.
B
And we met some nice cos there.
A
Right. Yes.
B
And. But now we've got whistleblowers there that's funneling information to me. Photographs of the.
A
Well, I think it just. I think it just speaks to. And you know, Mr. Marshall and Josh Smith, they're aware of this.
B
These are the director and the deputy director.
A
Absolutely. But I think it just speaks to the volume of just how broken the system is, how broken the Bureau of Prisons as a whole is. This wasn't just an isolated incident with you at Pensacola. You brought it to light and it got lots of traction because you were there and because you were vocal about it. Savannah was vocal about it. But I think it also, you can see that it's much bigger than just Pensacola.
B
Yes.
A
It's. It's bureau wide.
B
Yes.
A
Because, you know, your issues are. I mean we had issues at our place too, you know, so it's everywhere.
B
I believe you know yourself that I've been working with this family from Kentucky.
A
Right.
B
A mother and father whose son is in Ashland who they threw in the shoe he had. He got caught with a cell phone.
A
And the shoe for you, those of you don't know, is special housing unit which within prisons it is like your. Would be considered like your solitary confinement. That be the version of it in a way. We didn't have that where we were. You got in trouble, you went to the county jail, which is kind of crazy.
B
Right.
A
But that's where you went.
B
But they were housing these men, are still currently housing these men in the shoe in Ashland, Kentucky at the federal prison facility in 95 to 98 degree temperatures, no air.
A
Okay. I live that on a daily. So I am sorry and I hate it for them. But keep in mind my women, my friends who are there right now are living in 95, 98, 100 degrees and I. And that's not even as punishment.
B
Okay. But I understand that.
A
So I'm going to get a little.
B
Heated on that, but he did being the key word. What I'm saying is it should not be that way for anyone, whether, whether it be women or men. But these men are being held in solitary in the shoe, in their underwear because it is so hot at 95 degrees in there and they know there's no air and they keep putting these kids over in there. This kid that this family has reached out to me about, that, you know, that I've been on the phone with now for two. He was targeted by a staff member there, a case manager, case manager Dean, who abused his power, who was abusive and disrespectful to the father of this kid and to the young man, 25 years old. And then you've got another guy there by the name of Bishop who comes through and tears people's dorms up, throws their stuff out in the floor, destroys. You've seen, seen the pictures that were sent to me. That has all been turned over to the Office of Internal Affairs. Now there are investigations that had been launched and I'm going to continue to out you. When I am given concrete information that you are being abusive to any person in custody of that you're in care of their custody, I'm going to out you, I'm going to expose you and I'm coming after your job.
A
Job.
B
So it's not just isolated to one facility. Now this is rampant throughout the Bureau. And you know how I feel about the new director, William Marshall, and the new deputy director. I watch what they're doing. I watch how they're fighting every day to correct this fsa, to make sure that these men and women are getting their second chance act stacked on top of the fsa. But you've got to get rid of case managers that are refusing to implement this. This. When you've got Janet Gentle at down there at Pensacola who literally, literally lies to every person there, she doesn't do her job, refuses to put things in timely, then lies and says she put them in timely. That's the one that I'm filing the lawsuit against for the CARES act that she lied about. But you have more Janet gents in the Bureau of Prisons than not. These case managers don't even show up half the time.
A
Well, I think it just is such a, such a huge problem and it's so big and it's been done this way for so long. It's not going to happen overnight. So I think you are continuing to fight that fight. You're continuing to expose people. You're continuing to do what you can to change things. And that's a great and a wonderful thing. But it's going to take time. As with any kind of change on this level, it's going to take time.
B
That's right. You know, because like, like the kid that's up there that you and I went and visited, you know, he calls me on his, out of his 300 minutes. Now it's gonna be 510 minutes, but he calls me and literally as he starts to tell me things that's going on there, they shut his phone off in the middle of the conversation. You've been reported for that. OIA now knows that the director and him now know that. So keep screwing around with it. But the irony of it is, is that the director, William Marshall, who I have such faith and confidence in and I don't believe I will be disappointed and I don't believe the men and women that are incarcerated are going to be disappointed because this man has a servant's heart and he wants to do the right thing.
A
Right.
B
He, he's been in law enforcement for 20 something, 25 years or so. He believes in justice, he believes in law abiding sin citizens, but he also believes in common decency and he also believes in humanity and humane treatment. And so for that I'm grateful. Because before, throughout decades of the Bureau of Prisons, it was lock them up, throw away the key, don't worry about them, they're members of society, that they're dredges of society. We're not going to worry about them.
A
But it's like Savannah said, but these are people who at some point could be your neighbor.
B
That's right.
A
And it's somebody's mom, it's somebody's daughter, it's somebody's son, it's somebody's father. And if nothing else, I hope it makes people think, think about just because that, that is. And that that weighs so heavy on my heart. Because you know, there are people that when they go to prison, they're just forgotten about. About.
B
Well, you know, so many comments have been made on social media about us and about the pardon and whatever and you deserve to be doing your time and etc. Etc. Or with Savannah. Where were you before your parents were incarcerated? You were not fighting for, you know, what inmates, whatever. Well, you don't know what. You don't know.
A
Right.
B
And I find the irony of it in the fact that you make that statement. What are you doing?
A
Right?
B
To fight.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
You don't fight until it affects, you know, better.
A
You do better.
B
That's Right.
A
And, you know, I. Like I said, I didn't know anybody that was in prison or had gone to prison or whatever. And so I admit that I didn't think about it. I didn't think that there's people in there who are just having to scrape and scrounge to get by that don't have the necessities that they need. I didn't think about that because it wasn't, you know, and just as a society, I feel like if it doesn't ever affect us, it's like. It's like cancer. If you know one, you've never been affected by it, I can assure you, you don't think about it like a family who has been affected by it.
B
Exactly. You know, and so you cannot. It's, as I've said for a long time, the best person to effectuate change is someone who has been changed by going through it.
A
Absolutely. And I hope that that's what.
B
I hope that's what you and I are.
A
I hope that's what we are, and I hope that's what we continue to do. So I hope today has answered some questions for you guys about Todd and I, about Nick, about where we are and it is ever changing. And we're going to continue to share that with you because. Because this is our platform to be able to be honest, be open, be vulnerable. And I love that. I love that for Chrisley Confessions 2.0. That it is our safe place, and we're gonna have.
B
Safer than prison.
A
Yeah. And we're gonna have guests on in the future, people that have been in prison with us, people that we've met through this and people that we haven't. We're open to all kinds of guests and to bringing that to you. Something that if. Something that we learn and that we take from and that we gain, something positive from. We want to share that with you.
B
Absolutely.
A
So until next week, good luck and God bless you. And don't forget to download Chrisley Knows. Chrisley Knows Best. I just said it. I'm so sorry. Don't forget to Download Chrisley Confessions 2.0 wherever you get your podcast.
B
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Episode: Purpose in the Pain
Release Date: August 20, 2025
Hosts: Todd and Julie Chrisley
PodcastOne
In “Purpose in the Pain,” Todd and Julie Chrisley return for a deeply personal and honest discussion about life after prison, healing as a family, processing grief, and finding purpose through adversity. The episode covers the transitions in their household, addresses rumors about their marriage, discusses the profound loss of Nick Kerdiles, and explores their ongoing advocacy for prison reform. With their signature blend of humor, candor, and love, the Chrisleys confront challenging topics and celebrate the small joys of everyday life.
Reflecting on Podcasting as a Family Archive
“What a blessing it is that we have these podcasts and filming… amazing home movies... our grandchildren, great-grandchildren will have Chrisley Knows Best, these podcasts…” — Julie [00:58]
Grayson’s Transition to College
“It was such a blessing for us both to be there... Even though we were cleaning bathrooms and scrubbing showers… I look forward to any opportunity to be there for him.” — Julie [02:05]
“He sent us text about just how happy he was that we were there because he said he had kind of resigned himself…” — Julie [02:16]
Chloe Starting School
“It’s a huge transition for Savannah… she’s having to realize that she’s not calling the shots anymore with them.” — Todd [04:37]
Savannah Moving Out
Reading the Tabloid Letter [07:08]
Marriage after Incarceration
“There is an adjustment period. It’s not an adjustment period in our marriage per se. It’s just an adjustment period… Back to life.” — Julie [09:04]
“We are not felons... There was no money stolen… You’ll find out in the new docuseries.” — Todd [09:42]
“Todd and I have been together for 31 years. Trust me when I say I can stand my own ground... I have stood with him for 31 years.” — Julie [10:30]
On Reconnecting and Resuming Public Life
"When we came home, there was…this peace of knowing that we were back together…we kind of just fit right back into the roles and our marriage and our family." — Julie [16:06]
Dealing with Ongoing Public Scrutiny
Discussing Nick Kerdiles [21:24]
“It was the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with in my life. Your breast cancer was the thing that crippled me…then I lost my dad…then lost Nick.” — Todd [23:05]
Remembering Nick’s Character
On Media Coverage and Grief
“He was so much more… He was a good, decent, honorable human being who loved and wanted to be loved.” — Todd [31:12]
Family’s Ongoing Grief
“I was sitting on the plane with Chase… and I realized at that moment how much this has affected him… he was just weeping.” — Todd [37:11] “There is a purpose in the pain. That purpose may take time to be revealed, but ultimately it will be revealed.” — Todd [39:04]
Therapy and Healing
“I am a believer of therapy… I believe there’s…good and bad [therapists], as with doctors… But I do believe in it.” — Julie [38:07]
Spiritual Reflection and Biblical Parallels
“You turned the prison into a palace. You’re our modern-day Joseph.” — [39:39]
Bonding and Giving Back
“I constantly feel this pull back to those women, to those people, those friends, that lifelong friends…” — Julie [43:02]
Acknowledging a Broken System
“You have more Janet Gents in the Bureau of Prisons than not… These case managers don’t even show up half the time.” — Todd [51:06] “It’s such a huge problem and it’s so big… it’s not going to happen overnight... But it’s going to take time.” — Julie [51:33]
On Family Legacy:
“Our great-grandchildren will have Chris Knows Best. They’ll have these podcasts and…when that time comes and they’re not with us anymore, we still have that…” — Todd [01:19]
On the Realities of Prison Adjustment:
“I don’t believe anyone can go through what we went through and think that you are not changed because you are…our marriage is not struggling. Our marriage is not fragile. Our marriage—we survived prison.” — Julie [11:04]
On Being Targeted by Media:
“The only way that you break people like this is you gotta let them around and find out, and that’s exactly what’s going to happen.” — Todd [21:25]
On Nick Kerdiles:
“My love is not past tense... he was a good, decent, honorable human being who loved and wanted to be loved.” — Todd [31:12 & 30:24]
On Pain and Purpose:
“I have learned that there’s purpose in the pain…that purpose may take time to be revealed, but ultimately it will be revealed.” — Todd [39:04]
On Advocacy:
“When I am given concrete information that you are being abusive to any person in custody… I’m going to out you, I’m going to expose you and I’m coming after your job.” — Todd [50:07]
On Personal Growth:
“You don’t fight until it affects…you know better, you do better.” — Julie [53:47]
The episode oscillates between moments of deep vulnerability and the light, familiar banter typical of the Chrisleys. The conversation is candid and “unfiltered,” with both Todd and Julie willing to tackle rumors, rumors, loss, and hope head-on. Their Southern warmth, humor, and faith offer a sense of continuity and resilience, even as they traverse personal and painful topics.
“Purpose in the Pain” is a rich, heartfelt episode that is both a window into the Chrisleys’ current reality and a testament to their enduring hope and advocacy. Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of family after adversity, the complexities of public and private grief, and the ongoing work required to mend broken systems—always with the Chrisleys’ trademark honesty and humor.