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Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Ali Yost. It is a joy and honor to be here with you guys today. Hi, everybody. Happy Friday. It is what, December 19th. Christmas is in a week, which is absolutely insane. I don't know if anyone else feels the same as I do, but, like, I actually cannot believe how fast this year has gone by. It's kind of nuts. Like, it's actually crazy. But yeah, the year is almost over, you guys, which is wild. But we're back. We're here. I hope that you guys have had a beautiful week since the last time we touched base last Friday. I do have my coffee on ice with me today. And something that's fun about it today is. And I actually, I think I'm gonna put this on my. I have already put this on my Christmas wish list. Is an ice machine because I love the, like, crunchy ice. You know, the ice from Chick Fil A that ice. The like crunchy little tiny cubes that are just like so good and satisfying. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. They're just so good. Like, ice is ice, but it's also not. Like, ice isn't just ice. It does depend on the form that it comes in. For me, like. Like, it tastes better if it's like, with that crunchy ice. So anyway, I didn't get an ice machine, but I got this little contraption off of Amazon where I, like, fill it. It's basically like a, like an ice tray. And then you crunch it up after, like, you know, you freeze it overnight and then you mend it. It's like it's in this rubbery material, and it comes out in these little tiny cubes. And so I did that today. And so technically, I have the crunchy ice, but it's just a little bit more maintenance. I think it'd be really fun to actually just have an ice machine. I don't know where I'm gonna put it. They're kind of big and bulky and obnoxious, but also, I mean, that would be prime for all of my cold drinks. Not even just an iced coffee, but, like, if I ever wanted to have a little lemonade and I put the crunchy ice in it. Okay, that's my dream. So anyway. But here it is in all of its asmr. It's gorgeous today. Let's take a sip. Oh, thank you, Jesus. That's good. Aside from that, though, we also do have our Christ. I have my Bible here with me. Thank you, God, for the word of God. We have our Christ and we have our coffee on ice. So today is going to be a good day. I'm really excited for today's episode, you guys. It's going to feel a little bit familiar because it is something that I have touched on on the podcast here before. I did an episode with Ashley. Gosh, like over a year ago now. Yeah, over a year ago, which was insane. Like, a year and a half ago, where we covered this topic. And honestly, I still stand by a lot of the things that I talked about in that episode. I'm sure it hasn't changed. Like, it's not that I'm just like, ah, forget it. Modesty's out. But I just figured it'd be cool to have a little refresher about the topic because it is something that you guys still ask me about. And, yeah, I just figured it would be refreshing and it would be a topic worth bringing up again, especially because I feel like this is something that I. I think I've nailed it kind of sort. I think I. I pretty much have modesty down. I know that even since that episode, the Lord has, like, taught me more and shown me more in what modesty really means. And it's not even just the way that we dress, but there's other aspects to that as well. And so I'd love to just talk about it. And I think what's really cool is, like, this is already a topic in the world, aside from religion, like, aside from Christianity, aside from know who God calls us to be as women of God. Modesty is, like, trending right now, which is really cool. I feel like, whether people are pursuing, you know, their relationship with Jesus or not, it's trending. Like, it's becoming more of a thing. It's becoming more attractive to actually be modest. And for a long time in society, it was very normal to basically be naked and to like, show everything from a woman's perspective, because I can't talk about how men dress. But I mean, for women, it's like we were told to show it all and we've been told to show it all, which isn't how it's always been. So it's interesting. I feel like culturally in America, it has been a lot more normalized to show off everything. And I think a lot of that is rooted in acceptance, validation from the opposite sex, probably. And. Yeah, and just like, wanting to do the thing that everyone. I mean, like, if that's what everyone's telling us that we're supposed to do, then that's what we do. And it's wild because, like, that was a lot of who I was for a long time. I wasn't like that promiscuous majority of my life. I mean, sure, yeah, if I'm going through a breakup or whatever, I probably posted a couple bikini pictures, like some risky bikini pictures. But for the most part, like, I was not that showy of my body. But then there was a season in my life, like, right before I met Jesus, honestly, where I was, like, I was showing a lot online, like, I was showing a lot. And I thought that's what confidence was like. I genuinely thought that if I showed up on the Internet showing a lot of my body and doing these really, like, scandalous photo shoots in lingerie or, you know, a wet T shirt with no bra on. I know, I know, I'm sorry, But it's true. I mean, like, I thought that was confidence. I thought that was being confident in who I was. And I thought that that was like self love. And I thought that that was, you know. Yeah, just like being confident in my body and being a woman. I thought that was like, like true feminism. And it's so funny because the world is like literally the opposite of the truth. Like, that couldn't have been so far from the truth. Actually. I did those things hoping it would make me feel confident, but I never actually did like, showing my body. It would be like a really quick hit. I'm speaking for myself, you know, like, this was just the journey for me. But hopefully a lot of you guys can relate to this. Like, I. I would show up on the Internet and I would show My stuff. And I. I would look hot, and I'd do my thing, and. And it would be, like a hit of, like, a drug of dopamine, of whatever, of validation from the world, whether it was women or men. Honestly, at that point, it was like, I had so many female followers, but it didn't matter. Like, even getting that type of praise from females and being like, girl, you, Betty, you look hot. Whatever. I got so much validation from what other people had to say about my body and about how beautiful I was and how, oh, my gosh, like, you're snatched. Your. Your waist, your boobs, you're. This. You're. Um. But to be honest, it never actually gave me lasting confidence, and I only wanted more. I mean, to try to fill that void in all of us that we. We were. We were born with, like, this little pocket in our hearts, as I've said before. And the only thing that can fill that is Jesus, because that's who we were made for. And by. I mean, yeah, there were so many ways I was trying to fill that void, and this is just an example of that, but it would never last. You know, that, like, that little cup in my heart, that void in my heart would never actually last. And so I feel like with anything that we're trying to fill that void with, once we've hit a certain, like, level and we realize, like, okay, that gave me a hit for this amount of time, but, like, it's already gone. The only other option is to, like, more, right? Is to, like, accelerate. Like, okay, more like, the next time I post a photo shoot where it's a little sexy and scandalous, like, I need to do more. Like, it was never just, like, I capped off and I stopped, and I was like, yeah, this is enough. Like, there's just, like, that. That desperation and that hunger of, like, more. And, like, yeah, that really could be anything. That could be addiction. That could be whatever. But it doesn't just stop at a certain level. Like, truly, if I had let it just keep going. I mean, I don't. I don't know if I could have ever. But it's like, gosh, what was I gonna start doing? Just being nude on the Internet? I mean, I was pretty close sometimes. And so this is just me. Like, this is just me being vulnerable and an honest about my journey. And if you're new here, you're probably like, what, Ali? Like, I had no idea. Or if you've been here for a while, you're like, yeah, girl, I've seen you grow. I've seen you grow. High five, Al. But, yeah, so that was just a lie that I believed for a long time. And it's so funny because I would tell myself, like, this is for me, though. Like, I'm not doing this for validation from men. Like, 95% of my followers are females anyway. I'm like, this is for me. Like, I'm dressing for me. I'm not dressing. I'm dressing for the female gaze, not the male gaze. Right? That's like. That was, like, a trend for a while, too. And I was just lying to myself. Like, if I was really being honest with myself, like, I wasn't just dressing like that for me. I was dressing like that to be accepted and to be validated by other people, whether it was men or women, to be honest. So, okay, sure, I'm dressing for the female gaze, but I'm still trying to be validated in my figure. And I'm still trying to, you know, get that hit of like, oh, my gosh, Ali, like, you're. You look amazing. Like, look at your body. Oh, my gosh. Like, that wasn't real confidence. Like, I actually never got true confidence from doing those things. I was believing a false reality of, like, if I were to show more of my body, if I were to be more sexy, if I were to show more of my curves, if I were to show more cleavage, I would be confident. And that just wasn't the truth. It's a spiraling pit of never ending. And it's a lie from the enemy to exploit ourselves, to exploit our bodies. And, yeah, it's so, like, the things that came out of my mouth, you guys, it's crazy. Like, I used to be like, well, I'm young now, and, like, everything's gonna get soggy. Soggy, but, like, yeah, like, saggy. Everything's gonna get saggy and wrinkly. And, you know, my body's the hottest now that it'll ever be. And so I gotta go out there. I'm gonna. I'm a flaunt it while I got it. It's like, that's just, like, so not it. And that's so not what God has given us our bodies for. Like, that is just so vain, if I'm going to be honest. Like, and if those are active things you guys live by right now, I'm not judging you. Like, there's no condemnation in this at all. Like, I am not here to judge you. But also, that is just not reality. Like, that is not why. Oh, I saw my body as my own. And I think what changed it for me was, like, I realized that my body is not mine, it's the Lord's. My body is for God. And I was selfishly using it as a tool to make myself feel better, when all I needed to do was go to his feet to feel better. Like, all I needed was actually him to feel better. But instead, I abused my own body and used my body to make myself feel better. And honestly, I didn't have a right to do that because it's not mine. My body is a gift from the Lord that I did not earn. He gave it to me. I didn't earn it. He said, here's a healthy body for you to live in, Allie. Please take care of her and please honor her, because I've given it to you and I've knitted it so perfectly in your mother's womb when you were being made in your mommy's tummy, you know? And so there's a fear of the Lord that fell over my life that changed that for me, where I was like, oh, this is not something to be abused. This is not something to be taken advantage of. And this is not something that's actually mine. Like, the whole my body, my choice movement. This is gonna sound controversial, but, like, you can't be a Christian and believe in that, because if you're a Christian, you believe that the body that you've been given by God is not actually yours. It is a vessel. It is an instrument that the Lord has given you to glorify him and to honor him, and it's the most fulfilling thing ever. That's the thing. It's like, I'm not a slave to God. If anything, I actually was enslaved to the things that I used to believe about my body. I used to believe that if I were to do this or if I were to do that, or if I would have basically be a circus monkey for the rest of the world, then I would feel good. I was a slave to the world. Like, that was not actual confidence. That was not actual freedom. It's so crazy. I was living in a reality where I thought that that was freedom, but it wasn't. The way that I talk today and the way that I believe how the Lord wants to use my body today sounds restricting, but I'm telling you, it's actually the most freedom I've ever received in my life. Like, I no longer seek that validation from the world anymore. I don't have to show off my body like it's like a piece of meat, honestly, like, Yeah, I am gonna get wrinkly and I am gonna get old, and things are probably gonna become more saggy than they were when I was 20. And that's just the truth. Kay, sorry. Can we just be real for a second? Like. But that's not the point. That's not the point of our bodies. That changed for me, like, that perspective, that lens shifted for me that my body isn't mine, it's God's. And I think that that started from, like, loving God so much, where I was like, God, I want to honor my body with you because I love you. And I recognize that, like, this body is a gift that you've given me. And I want to take care of her, and I don't want to exploit her for people to just gawk at like a piece of meat. And honestly, like, I wondered why I was attracting all these jerks of guys, like, Al, what do you mean? Like, you were portraying yourself in a way that honestly didn't even seem like you respected yourself. Even though I thought I. Like, even though I was like, no, this is, like, empowerment. This is me being a strong woman. This is me being independent. But, like, actually, I was. That's not what is portrayed to the world when you act that way. I'm talking to bcl, okay? Like, that was actually not what was being said. What was being said is, here's everything. Here's everything. And if you want to talk to me, it's probably because here's everything. And then I wondered why I. I was attracting guys where, like, honestly, all they wanted was my body. But that was the message I was sending, was my body. So that became less of a mystery to me where I was like, oh, yeah, I've had it all wrong. I thought this was empowering. I thought this was actually. It's not like, men only want this to do with me because this is the thing that I'm highlighting. It took that realization, honestly, that revelation, which only came from the conviction of the Holy Spirit, truly. Like, it was like God being like, hey, Al, these things need to change. And I was like, ooh, wow, Jesus, you're right. Ew. I don't like how that makes me feel anymore. And honestly, if I'm being honest with myself, I never really liked the way it made me feel. So. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. It's like, he just, like, ripped the scales from my eyes, and I was like, oh, duh. Wait, that makes so much sense now. I'm not saying that this was, like, an overnight thing for me, and I'M not saying that it still wasn't hard for me to want to wear certain things. Still, there was so much conversation I had to have with God when it came to outfits. And it was a process. Like, it wasn't just, like an overnight thing. Like, I had to clear out my closet multiple times. Where. Like, the first time I cleared out my closet, I thought everything that was left in my closet was modest. And then I touched base with myself and with God. Six months later, you know, I'm still walking with him. He's. He's sanctifying me. He's. He's purifying me. He's changing my. He's renewing my mind. And I go back to my closet six months, and I go, okay, how did I think that this. This was still modest? Like, yeah, my closet's a lot better. But, like, al, are you for real? For real. So it was, like, a process, you know? And so I think knowing that there's grace for you, God has so much grace for you. If this is a journey that you are currently on, it's okay if you're not perfect at it. I haven't been. And, yeah, it's gonna be a journey. It's gonna be a journey that only honestly, the Holy Spirit can. Can walk you through. But, yeah, there was a fight there. There. There was sacrifice, too, where. There were times where I could have gotten away with wearing things out of the house, but at that time, I. I knew better. Like, there were times where I walked out of the house wearing those things, and I honestly had no clue. I didn't have the conviction yet. I had the. I didn't have the awareness yet. That's okay. And I still had the choice to say, no, I still want to wear this stuff. Like, I know it's technically not okay, but, like, I still want to wear it. I could have done that. But then in my mind, I was like, but this is the sacrifice that I'm gonna make for Jesus. Like, I don't want to trust my feelings. I don't want to do the thing that makes me feel better about myself. Like, I want to do what honors God. And so there were times where I was like, I really want to wear this mini skirt. But if I was honest with myself, it was a little too short, where it really didn't leave a lot to the imagination if someone were to look at me. And that's when we need to be strong. That's when we need to be strong. So, yeah, I mean, I've had times where I'VE been like, God, but I feel so cute. And then he's like, I know, but does it honor me? And then I'm like, technically not AI.