Podcast Summary: Christ With Coffee On Ice

Host: Ally Yost
Episode: Literally Everyone Is Pregnant and Married
Date: January 24, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode is a heartfelt, candid reflection by host Ally Yost on the waves of emotions that arise when it seems like “literally everyone is pregnant and married.” Speaking from her bedroom due to studio obstacles, Ally leans into intimacy and vulnerability. She unpacks themes around navigating singleness, comparison, longing, faith, emotional honesty, and finding comfort and identity in Christ—especially when social and spiritual expectations feel intense. The conversation is rich with personal stories, practical exercises, and relevant scripture, all wrapped in Ally’s honest, relatable, and slightly sassy tone.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Embracing Vulnerability

Timestamp: 00:00–03:30

• Ally sets a cozy, intimate environment, recording from her bedroom. She emphasizes the gospel as "intimate and simple," mirroring the episode’s setting.
• Acknowledges recent disruptions (like studio unavailability and chaos from nearby fires) but stresses showing up authentically for her audience regardless of circumstances.

2. Naming the Elephant: Watching Everyone Move Forward

Timestamp: 04:00–07:00

• Ally directly addresses the “elephant in the room”: “everyone is getting pregnant, everyone is getting engaged, and everyone is married.”
• Affirms the beauty of this but candidly admits it hits differently for those still waiting.
• She acknowledges single women (her own perspective), offers empathy to married couples still waiting for children, and invites men to listen in with an open mind.

Quote:

“I am a single girl who does desire to be married, who does want to be a mommy and wants to have that in her future. Sue me. Literally, sue me.” (07:15, Ally)

3. Breaking the Christian Girl Cliché & Embracing Honest Feelings

Timestamp: 07:00–12:00

• Ally discusses the fear of being “that Christian girl” waiting for her Boaz and the internalized shame that often follows any honest longing for marriage or children:
• Addresses internal gaslighting—questioning her own faith simply for feeling discouraged.
• Explains how Christian culture can shame women for feeling sadness or longing, equating emotion with lack of faith or trust.

Quote:

“When did me feeling sad in a moment… mean that I suddenly don’t have faith? It suddenly means that I don’t trust my Father?” (12:45, Ally)

4. God’s Blessings Aren’t Transactional

Timestamp: 14:00–18:30

• Ally recounts a childhood story about earning tokens for prizes at a tutoring center to illustrate how we mistakenly view God’s blessings as transactional—something to be earned by “good behavior.”
• Clarifies that while God’s timing and preparation matter, His gifts and love are rooted in grace, not works.

Quote:

“God does not give us blessings as if it’s a contract between us where we have to earn our blessings… Jesus already paid the bill.” (18:00, Ally)

5. Biblical Emotional Honesty

Timestamp: 19:30–24:00

• Validates feeling emotions using the story of Jesus weeping with Mary over Lazarus’ death (even knowing he would be resurrected).
• Asserts that God created emotions and allows room for feeling—as long as we don’t let feelings consume us or turn into hopelessness.
• Encourages listeners to be “ugly honest” with God and treat Him like the safest best friend.

Quote:

“There isn’t too much emotion. There isn’t too much feelings for Jesus. He can handle it.” (23:35, Ally)

6. Differentiating Between Feeling and Being Consumed

Timestamp: 24:30–28:30

• Explains the difference between honestly feeling emotions versus allowing them to dictate actions (e.g., hopelessness leading to prolonged inactivity or negativity).
• Encourages practical, honest prayers ("God, do you even hear me? I need you to show me…")
• Suggests productive ways to handle big feelings—write down what your feelings say vs. what’s actually true (based on scripture).

7. Scripture Grounding

Timestamp: 29:00–32:00

• Reads several scriptures as reminders of God’s promise and care:
  • Proverbs 3:5-6 ("Trust in the Lord...")
  • Romans 12:2 ("Be transformed by the renewing of your mind...")
  • Matthew 11:28-30 ("Come to me, all who labor...")
  • Psalm 23:1-6 ("The Lord is my shepherd...")

8. Productive Tools for Mindset Shifts

Timestamp: 32:00–39:00

• Suggests making lists:
  • List your feelings (“what my feelings are saying”)
  • List the truth (scripture or things God says about you)
  • List your current blessings (answered prayers you’re living in now)
  • List the fruits/pros of your current season (“three things you can do right now because you’re in this season”)
• Emphasizes the need for a mind shift: moving from longing and comparison to gratitude, contentment, and recognizing the purpose of one’s current stage.
• Warns against the distortion of social media and the unfairness of comparing real life to someone else’s highlights.

Quote:

“You’re comparing yourself to a version of their life that they are only willing to show… if you can’t confidently say you’ve seen every part of their relationship… then it’s not something to compare yourself to.” (39:00, Ally)

9. Checking Our Motives and Idols

Timestamp: 40:00–44:00

• Encourages listeners to check their hearts for idolatry, envy, or misplaced dependency (not diagnosing, but inviting honest prayer and Holy Spirit revelation).
• Recommends inviting God to “get the gunk out”—and not being ashamed to confess or bring impurities to Him.

10. Breaking Out of the Funk: Return to Gratitude and Worship

Timestamp: 44:30–48:30

• Asserts the quickest way out of a mental rut is gratitude—counting blessings, worshiping, refocusing on what God’s already done.
• Warns how quickly we can “move on to the next thing we lack” after receiving blessings.

11. Refocusing on Christ: Walking on Water

Timestamp: 48:30–53:00

• Draws an analogy to Peter walking on water—when he looked away from Jesus to the waves (comparisons, distractions), he began to sink.
• Stresses locking eyes with Jesus brings peace; comparison brings anxiety.

Quote:

“You’re looking left and right, and now you’re sinking, and you’re wondering why you’re having this sinking feeling… When we’re looking at him and we’re locking eyes with the Lord, we have peace. We’re content. We’re walking on water, girl. There ain’t no reason to look anywhere else.” (51:30, Ally)

• Reminds listeners that even when we fail and look away, Jesus has grace and reaches out to rescue us, just as he did for Peter.

12. Scripture on Comparison, Present Living, and Emotional Truth

Timestamp: 53:20–56:30

• Reads additional scriptures on comparison and envy:
  • Galatians (“Each one should test their own actions…”)
  • Proverbs 14:30 (“A heart at peace gives life…”)
  • James 3:14 (“If you have bitter jealousy…”)
  • 1 Corinthians 13:4 (“Love does not envy or boast…”)
• Reads verses on focusing on today:
  • Matthew 6:24 (“Don’t worry about tomorrow…”)
  • Psalm 118:24 (“This is the day that the Lord has made…”)
• Reads verses against relying solely on feelings:
  • Proverbs 3:5 (“Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.”)
  • 2 Corinthians 5:7 (“We walk by faith, not by sight.”)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Naming Desires:
  “I am a single girl who does desire to be married, who does want to be a mommy and wants to have that in her future. Sue me. Literally, sue me.” (07:15)

• On Shame Around Emotions:
  “When did me feeling sad in a moment… mean that I suddenly don’t have faith? It suddenly means that I don’t trust my Father?” (12:45)

• On Transactional Christianity:
  “God does not give us blessings as if it’s a contract between us where we have to earn our blessings… Jesus already paid the bill.” (18:00)

• On Honest Prayer:
  “Treat Jesus as if he’s your best friend…the person you entrust the most—you is the way you need to just bring it to Jesus. You don’t need to be formal.” (23:10)

• On Comparison on Social Media:
  “You’re comparing yourself to a version of their life that they are only willing to show… then it’s not something to compare yourself to.” (39:00)

• On Perspective While Waiting:
  “List all of the things that you once prayed for. I want you to actually list three answered prayers that you’re actively living in right now.” (45:20)

• On Keeping Focus on Jesus:
  “When we’re looking at him and we’re locking eyes with the Lord, we have peace. We’re content. We’re walking on water, girl. There ain’t no reason to look anywhere else.” (51:30)

Action Steps & Exercises

• Accept and Feel: Allow yourself to honestly feel longing, sadness, or discomfort—bring those emotions to God.
• Write It Down:
  • List feelings you’re experiencing
  • List truth from scripture about you/your future
  • List current blessings/answered prayers
  • List unique pros to your present life stage
• Practice Gratitude: Write and reflect on how God has already shown up.
• Shift Perspective: Remind yourself your story is unique; comparison is unfair when you never see the full picture.
• Check Your Heart: Pray for God to reveal root issues or “gunk” (idols, envy, etc.).
• Stay Present: Focus on today’s joys and needs, instead of borrowing tomorrow’s worry.
• Lock Eyes with Jesus: Refocus continually on Christ, not others’ progress or social media filtered highs.

Closing Reassurance

• Feeling sad or discontent does not mean you lack faith, nor does it disqualify you from God’s love or blessings.
• There is no shame—God welcomes emotional honesty, provides comfort, and still has a plan and future for you.
• Ally encourages listeners to believe the truth of scripture, stay honest with themselves and with God, and to model Christlike love to others.

For anyone in a season of waiting or wrestling with comparison, Ally’s message is honest, practical, and filled with empathy. She reassures listeners: “You are so seen, heard, and loved by the Lord, and you are not alone in this.”