Christ With Coffee On Ice

Episode: "my past is being used against me"

Host: Ally Yost
Date: January 31, 2025

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and vulnerable episode, Ally Yost delves into the weight of recent disasters in Los Angeles, exploring how environmental and spiritual heaviness can affect believers. The main theme centers on confronting the past: distinguishing healthy reflection from destructive dwelling, and understanding how God uses our stories while cautioning us against being trapped by them. Through scripture—especially the story of Lot’s wife—Ally encourages listeners to embrace hope, move forward in obedience, and reflect on God’s faithfulness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Weight of Current Circumstances in Los Angeles

• [00:15] Ally opens by sharing her emotional experience living through the recent fires and winds in LA, highlighting the difference between witnessing tragedy from afar and experiencing it directly.
  • The city feels "heavy" with anxiety and hopelessness.
  • Ally questions if that heaviness is internal or a spiritual result of her environment.
• Ally rejects the idea that disasters are necessarily God's wrath, instead expressing compassionate discernment for those suffering:
  • Quote: “I do not believe that this was something that the Lord did. I don’t believe this was something that God caused. I believe that he obviously allowed it, but this was not of God. I just don’t believe it.” (13:03)
• Ally emphasizes that God’s intent for LA is redemption and revival, not destruction.
• She calls for collective prayer for LA, expressing faith that God can bring beauty from disaster.

2. Community Prayer for Los Angeles

• [07:10] Ally leads a heartfelt prayer for the city of LA, interceding for spiritual revival, healing for those affected, and specific requests for rain and protection from further harm.
  • She encourages listeners to continue praying even after the episode.
  • Quote: “Lord, I just pray for your compassion and I pray for your love to just flood Los Angeles. God, I pray that your love just overwhelms people... use this, God.” (08:45)

3. Moving from the Past: Reflection vs. Looking Back

• [15:50] Ally transitions to the episode’s central theme: the difference between reflecting on the past versus being held back or condemned by it.
  • Many struggle with guilt or nostalgia—either shame over past mistakes, or longing for “the good old days.”
  • Scripture encourages “remembering” but warns against “looking back” in ways that prevent forward progress.
  • Addresses the recurring cycle of the enemy bringing up past mistakes to induce shame.
  • Quote: “It really could be both sides of the spectrum where you’re romanticizing and remembering the good old days, or it’s out of regret and guilt. But either way, God says, don’t look back. Don’t go back there.” (17:48)

4. The Story of Lot’s Wife – A Deep Dive

• [19:15] Ally reads from Genesis 18–19 (NLT), unpacking the story of Lot’s wife who looked back at Sodom and turned into a pillar of salt. She draws parallels between Sodom and contemporary cities, including LA.
• Key takeaways from the story:
  • God warns for our good; obedience must be complete, not partial.
  • Lot’s wife’s looking back may have revealed lingering affection for a corrupt past, not just a moment of curiosity.
  • Partial obedience (e.g., fleeing but still looking back) is not what God asks—He desires total trust.
  • Quote: “Sometimes the partial obedience doesn’t outweigh the things that you’re not doing in obedience. It’s complete obedience.” (31:15)
  • Ties Lot’s wife’s fate to the dangers of longing for what God has called us to leave behind—even reminiscing about sinful “glory days.”
  • Jesus references Lot’s wife (Luke 17:32) as a warning to not value the old life over God’s promise.

5. Visuals: The Dangers of Looking Back

• [37:00] Ally uses practical visuals to illustrate her point:
  • Running forward while looking back—risking stumbling, going off course, or losing sight of one’s goal.
  • Driving while staring only in the rearview mirror—impractical and dangerous.
  • Quote: “If you think of this visual of you running... you’re running forward, but you’re looking back the whole time... you’re running blind because your eyes aren’t in front of you.” (38:10)

6. Healthy Reflection: Remembering God’s Faithfulness

• [41:30] Ally discusses the positive side of remembering—healthy reflection.
  • Reflection should center on God’s faithfulness and provision, not on self-condemnation or nostalgia for things that were harmful.
  • Uses the analogy of looking back at the view only after reaching the mountain’s peak—as a celebration, not a longing to return.
  • Reflection prompts gratitude and builds hope for the future.
  • Supports these ideas with scripture:
    • Deuteronomy 32:7: “Remember the days of old. Consider the years of many generations.”
    • Isaiah 46:9: “Remember the things I have done in the past, for I alone am God.”
    • Isaiah 43:18: “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past.”
    • Deuteronomy 8:2, Psalm 105:5, Psalm 77:11-12

7. Practical Encouragement at the Start of the Year

• [52:20] Ally ties reflection to the new year—encouraging listeners to remember God’s deliverance, not their worst moments.
  • Moves listeners towards daily hope and expectation that God will be faithful in whatever comes next.
  • Quote: “God wants us to have fresh hope today and he wants us to remember all the ways that he got us out of dark times, to give us hope in situations that we might be facing right now...” (53:22)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On spiritual heaviness in LA:

  • “It just feels so heavy here... Maybe it’s too soon, y’all, to be talking like that. Maybe we just have a little bit more compassion for the people who are directly being affected by this.” (04:38 & 12:07)

• On God’s desire for LA:

  • “He wants Los Angeles. He wants this city, y’all. …I believe that Jesus wants this city. I believe that his heart is wanting just redemption and revival here.” (14:35)

• On looking back at the past:

  • “We should not have a heart that longs for a corrupt and passing world. Oh, my gosh. We should not have a heart that will, in some sense, regret the judgment God will bring on it.” (36:25)

• Ally’s vulnerability:

  • “There were times in my life where I would go out and I would party and I would do this and that and the next, and I don’t do any of that anymore. …but sometimes your brain wants to do some weird, like, uno reverse and be like, oh, but I kind of miss it. What?” (36:57)

• On reflection vs looking back:

  • “Reflection should be encouraging. It should never leave us feeling regretful, anxious, wishful, or depressed. This is the fruit of looking back.” (42:00)

• Encouragement for listeners:

  • “Can we do something cool this week, guys… I want y’all to show somebody how cool Jesus is. Be like so extra kind to someone or multiple people.” (54:17)

Key Timestamps

• 00:15–08:30 — Ally’s update on LA fires and leading a community prayer for the city
• 13:00–15:30 — Discerning God’s will and intent in disaster; hope for LA’s redemption
• 15:50–19:15 — Introducing theme: difference between reflection and looking back
• 19:15–36:00 — Reading and exploring Genesis story of Lot and Sodom; lessons on obedience and the heart
• 36:00–38:40 — Visual analogy: running/looking back; why God’s warnings are loving
• 41:30–52:00 — What healthy, God-centered reflection looks like; supporting scriptures
• 52:20–end — Practical encouragement; moving into new seasons with hope

Final Reflection & Call to Action

Ally wraps up by encouraging listeners to practice healthy God-centered reflection, to stop letting the enemy use their past against them, and to go out of their way to show someone the love of Jesus this week. She warmly reminds listeners of God’s unfailing faithfulness—regardless of the past, there is always hope and a future with Him.

For anyone who hasn’t listened, this episode is a raw, uplifting conversation about letting go of shame, walking in God’s grace, and learning how to use your story for good without being chained by it. Ally’s openness, scriptural grounding, and relatable reflections make this an encouraging listen for believers at any stage in their walk.