Episode Summary: "the grief is killing me"
Podcast: Christ With Coffee On Ice
Host: Ally Yost
Date: November 29, 2024
Main Theme
In this vulnerable and faith-filled episode, Ally Yost opens up about her recent experience with personal loss, exploring the journey of grief as a Christian. She honors her cousin Kelly, discusses the unpredictability and pain of mourning, and walks listeners through how to invite Jesus into heartbreak. Through scripture, honest emotion, and encouragement, Ally assures listeners of the presence and compassion of Christ in hardship.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Authentic Spontaneity and Divine Prompting
- Ally shares how she felt the Holy Spirit nudge her to record, despite her emotional state.
- “Sometimes I can be very spontaneous...But also sometimes I feel like I can do it out of emotion...But he gave me the green light today, and so we're here.” [00:01]
- She emphasizes ensuring that actions are within God’s will, not just moments of ambition.
Honoring Kelly: A Personal Tribute
- Ally remembers her late cousin Kelly, describing her as “an embodiment of love,” with a “big heart,” childlike fun, and deep familial influence.
- “She didn’t believe in giving up on people … she just was the most incredible human being. And she really was like a big sister to me.” [00:06]
- Shares touching, humorous memories (Kelly’s “funny voices” to her dog Lacy) and influences (her pop culture taste, style) [00:08]
Experiencing Grief with Christ
- Describes grieving as a believer as “different” and profoundly healing, if painful.
- “Letting Jesus in really feels like rubbing alcohol on a wound. And it stings, but also it's healing, you know?” [00:16]
- Ally admits to resisting Christ’s comfort at times: it hurts, but is healing.
- “You feel his compassion so much … you’re gonna make me weep, Jesus, stop.” [00:14]
- Emphasizes the importance of not rushing grief, not feeling like a burden, and not doing it alone:
- “Your grief is not an inconvenience to anybody.” [00:25]
The Mystery and Reality of Grief
- Grief is paradoxical: numbness alternates with overwhelming pain (“hits you like a semi”) [00:19]
- “Grief is the weirdest thing I've ever experienced in my life. It just doesn't make sense to my brain. But I guess it doesn't have to make sense. You just have to feel it.” [00:20]
- Theologically, she reflects that grief, death, and loss are not part of God’s original plan, but consequences of a broken world.
- “This is the result of brokenness in the world. This is the result of sin.” [00:21]
Biblical Guidance & Scriptural Encouragement
- Ally grounds the episode in Scripture, identifying God as a refuge who welcomes honest emotions during loss.
- “Psalm 62:8 says, Pour out your heart before him. God is a refuge for us.” [00:31]
- Discusses the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance), noting the non-linear nature of the process and God’s understanding of human reactions.
- Encourages listeners to ask God questions during grief, referencing:
- “Matthew 7:7 says you can ask God questions in prayer. Ask and it shall be given to you.” [00:41]
- Lists further scriptures about God’s healing and nearness:
- “Psalm 147:3 reads, he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
- “Psalm 34:18 ... the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” [00:43-00:45]
Jesus as Companion in Grief
- Ally finds comfort in Jesus’ lived experience of grief, especially in the story of Lazarus (John 11).
- Reads and paraphrases scripture, underscoring Jesus’ compassionate weeping alongside his friends.
- “And he cared about him... he still felt grief even though he knew what was going to happen.” [00:55]
- “He weeps when we weep, that he feels pain when we feel pain, that he grieves with us.” [01:03]
- Notes other examples, e.g., the loss of John the Baptist, to highlight that Jesus’ compassion comes from lived empathy, not distant sympathy.
God Transforms Grief
- Uses the metaphor of handing God an “ugly, gray ball” of grief and watching him “mold it into something beautiful.” [01:14]
- Cites “honey from the rock” (Psalm 81:16; Deuteronomy 32:13) as a symbol for God bringing sweetness from impossibly hard situations.
- “So when we look at this ball, this ugly gray ball ... God will make honey come out of that rock. He will. It's just what he does.” [01:19]
The Power of Praise in Suffering
- Encourages listeners to praise God not only for what He’s already done but for what He will do in healing and redemption.
- “Nothing punches the devil more in the face than praising your Lord through hardships.” [01:24]
- References Isaiah 61:3 (“the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness”), advocating praise as a spiritual trade for grief.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On the pain and healing paradox:
- “Letting Jesus in really feels like rubbing alcohol on a wound … it stings, but obviously rubbing alcohol is what cleanses the wound and helps the healing process.” [00:16]
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On being honest with God in grief:
- “He doesn’t need you to be perfect. He just wants you to be honest.” [00:37]
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On Jesus’ empathy:
- “He still wept and he still felt grief … and that’s a beautiful reminder of who Jesus was and who he still is: a God of compassion.” [01:01]
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On divine transformation:
- “He’s just molding it, and he’s, like, making it into something really beautiful … you don’t understand now what I am doing, but one day you will.” [01:15]
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On praise through pain:
- “You praise him for the things you know he's going to do... You praise him for the healing. You praise him for the redemption.” [01:25]
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On not rushing grief:
- “God, you are not a God who rushes us … you will sit with us for as long as we need.” [01:33, closing prayer]
Scripture References (Discussed & Read Aloud)
- Psalm 62:8 – Pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge.
- Psalm 147:3, Psalm 34:18, Isaiah 40:29, 1 Peter 2:24, Exodus 15:26, Exodus 23:25, Matthew 8:2-3, James 5:14-15 – Healing, comfort, and redemption.
- Matthew 7:7 – Ask and it shall be given.
- John 11:1-44 – The raising of Lazarus; Jesus' compassion and weeping.
- Psalm 81:16, Deuteronomy 32:13 – “Honey from the rock.”
- Isaiah 61:3 – Beauty for ashes, garment of praise for spirit of heaviness.
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:01 — Ally on spontaneity, discerning God’s will, and opening prayer
- 00:06 — Tribute to Kelly: memories, her character, her legacy
- 00:16 — What it’s like letting Jesus into grief; pain as part of healing
- 00:19-00:21 — The confusing, unpredictable waves of grief
- 00:25 — Encouragement not to self-suppress or feel like a burden in grief
- 00:31 — Scriptural basis for honesty in grief, five stages of grief explained
- 00:41 — Encouragement to voice questions to God while grieving
- 00:43-00:45 — Scriptures about God’s promises to heal and comfort
- 00:52-01:05 — The story of Lazarus and Jesus’s compassion in grief
- 01:13-01:19 — “Honey from the rock” metaphor; God’s transformative power
- 01:19-01:25 — The necessity of praise during sorrow
- 01:33 — Closing prayer: assurance of God’s patience, compassion, and healing
Closing Encouragement & Call to Action
Ally closes by encouraging listeners to show tangible compassion as Jesus would:
- “Let’s show somebody how cool Jesus is today … let’s comfort people. If we know that people are in pain, maybe you know, of somebody who's grieving, comfort them and be there for them like Jesus would.” [01:37]
Tone & Language
Ally's style is intimate, raw, honest, and deeply Bible-centered. She uses relatable metaphors, transparent personal sharing, and a voice that balances tears and hope. The episode is both a testimony and an encouragement in the language and warmth of a trusted friend.
For anyone walking through grief, this episode is a gentle hand in the dark, reminding you that Jesus grieves with you, that the process isn’t linear, and that God is actively making something beautiful—honey from the rock—even if you can’t yet see how.