Christ With Coffee On Ice

Host: Ally Yost
Episode Title: they betrayed you
Date: February 6, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of "Christ With Coffee On Ice" with host Ally Yost dives deeply into the experience and reality of betrayal – being let down, backstabbed, or hurt by someone you trust. Ally explores not only the raw and relatable feelings attached to betrayal but also how Christians are called to process, forgive, and move forward as Christ did. Expect a vulnerable, hope-filled discussion drawing from scripture, personal experience, and practical, prayerful steps for healing.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Pain and Layers of Betrayal

• Betrayal is a universal experience. Nearly everyone listening has faced it in some form.
• Ally shares her own vulnerability:

  “There was a version of me once upon a time that didn’t actually really know how to handle betrayal... And there is a version of me now that has learned what that means.” (08:00)

• She describes betrayal as multi-layered: first, the shock and hurt from someone’s action, and then, the deeper pain of learning to respond as Jesus calls us to.

2. The Human Response Versus Jesus’ Example (08:30–11:40)

• Our natural/flesh reaction is retaliation, self-defense, and desire for justice or revenge.
• Honest self-reflection:

  “My initial reaction when I am deeply hurt by somebody is that I want them to know how much they have deeply hurt me… I just want to cuss them out.” (09:26)

• Instead, Jesus models a response of humility, “dying to self,” and extending forgiveness.

3. Forgiveness as a Daily Process (12:00–16:30)

• Forgiveness isn’t a one-and-done event for most; it’s a process that can require revisiting again and again.
• Praying for the person is key:

  “I’ve had to pray my way out of bitterness a lot of times… I can tell that my heart is starting to get hardened towards that person again.” (14:52)

• The Bible instructs 70x7 forgiveness (unlimited willingness to forgive).

4. Guarding Against Gossip and Slander (16:30–21:30)

• Initial instinct is often to seek comfort and validation by gossiping or slandering the betrayer.
• Jesus calls us to keep our mouths shut, trust Him as our advocate and judge, and avoid spreading pain.
• Ally encourages listeners to check their heart posture:

  “If you really are just looking for comfort or validation, it’s giving gossip… Are you genuinely on a mission to be like Jesus in this?” (22:20)

5. Discernment in Speaking Up

• There’s a difference between staying silent to avoid gossip and needing to speak up if someone is truly dangerous or evil.
• Seeking wise counsel from trusted, godly people is encouraged, not as ventilation but as genuine pursuit of discernment.

6. The Spiritual Growth Within Betrayal (28:30–32:00)

• Betrayal is seen as an opportunity to become more like Jesus.
• “Being like Jesus in a state of betrayal is probably one of the most challenging things that we could go through.” (29:22)

7. Steps to Forgiveness and Healing (34:00–42:00)

• Admit your true feelings, even the “ugly, icky” ones, to God.

  “Who am I fooling? Not you. I’m not fooling myself either. I know that deep down, I don’t want the best to happen for this person.” (35:50)

• Repent and surrender the darkness in your heart, plead Jesus’ blood over your mind and heart.
• Pray for the betrayer by name, seeking compassion for them.

  “I’ve asked the Lord to give me a lens of His eyes for that person and be like, look, I’ve been looking at them through the lens of my own eyes, through the lens of my own hurt, and it’s gotten me nowhere.” (41:23)

8. Humility, Compassion, and Letting God Be Judge (43:00–47:00)

• No one is immune from causing or being capable of betrayal (the example of Peter denying Jesus).

• “One of Jesus’s most faithful disciples… Peter… still did that, while also knowing that in the future, Peter was gonna betray Jesus and swear three times, deny Jesus three times…” (45:35)

9. Biblical Guidance and Promises (56:00–1:02:00)

• Luke 8:17: "Everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all."
• Romans 12:19: "Do not take revenge, my dear friends… It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord."
• Matthew 5:44: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
• We surrender vengeance, trust God’s justice, and release ourselves from the burden of bitterness.

10. Freely Give What You Freely Receive (1:08:00+)

• Jesus forgave us freely; we have no right to withhold forgiveness.

  “If you’ve received the forgiveness and the grace of Jesus… you don’t have any right to just take that and not also freely give that same forgiveness and grace to other people.” (1:09:50)

• Carrying bitterness is “like drinking poison, expecting for it to actually kill the other person, but it just kills you.” (1:14:10)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On retaliation versus forgiveness:

  “What Jesus teaches us to do instead of retaliation is he challenges us to slow down and stop. Instead of choosing violence, he says, I want you to choose forgiveness.” (10:35)

• On humanizing the betrayer:

  “The only reason they were able to sin against me is because of the ways that they’ve been sinned against.” (41:40)

• On letting go of bitterness:

  “Don’t let the bondage of other people put you in bondage.” (55:12)

• On God’s justice:

  “We’re going to humble ourselves also by staying in our place and letting God be in his position of God and not try to control the narrative… No, you are not in charge of that. That is God’s role.” (59:10)

• On the poison of bitterness:

  “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison, expecting for it to actually kill the other person, but it just kills you.” (1:14:10)

Important Timestamps

• Topic Introduction: Betrayal and Its Emotional Weight – 03:28
• Describing the Flesh’s Reaction Vs. Jesus’ Example – 08:00–12:00
• Forgiveness as an Unending, Repeated Journey – 12:00–16:30
• Guarding Against Gossip & Slander – 16:30–22:30
• Discernment: Wise Counsel Vs. Gossip – 22:30–28:30
• Betrayal as an Opportunity for Sanctification – 28:30–32:00
• Practical Steps to Forgiving the Unforgivable – 34:00–42:00
• Humility, Peter, & the Universality of Sin – 43:00–47:00
• Scriptural Guidance: God’s Justice & Your Role – 56:00–1:02:00
• Receiving & Giving Forgiveness – 1:08:00–1:12:00
• Prayer Over Listeners – 1:15:00

Closing Encouragement & Prayer

• Ally prays over listeners (1:15:00), asking for the Holy Spirit to fill spaces of hurt, bring healing, and remove the burden of unforgiveness and bitterness:

  “Lord, I thank you that your promise to them is that you saw it and you will defend them… take what was meant for evil and use it for your good and your glory… I pray that you make them an even more humble version of themselves, an even more graceful version of themselves, an even more forgiving version of themselves.”

Final Challenge & Takeaway

• If a specific person or situation came to mind, take time after the episode to process with Jesus: admit your feelings, repent, pray for your betrayer, and invite the Holy Spirit to heal you.
• Let this be an opportunity not only to heal but to become more Christlike, extending the same forgiveness you have received.

Tone: Honest, raw, compassionate, scripturally grounded, and deeply encouraging.
Main Message: In the pain of betrayal, Jesus walks with you—and shows you a way forward marked by honesty, humility, prayer, and radical forgiveness.