Podcast Summary: "why do i feel empty?"
Podcast: Christ With Coffee On Ice
Host: Ally Yost
Date: January 3, 2025
Overview
In this heartfelt episode, Ally Yost explores the ache of emptiness and the deep human longing for true community and belonging, especially as followers of Christ. Through vulnerability and scripture, she traces her journey from surface-level relationships to finding life-giving, Christ-centered friendships. Addressing hurt, betrayal, and the challenge of learning to trust again, Ally shares lessons about why God created us for relationships with both Him and others, offering encouragement for anyone feeling isolated, wounded, or unsure how to build healthy spiritual connections.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Deep Need for Community
[00:30 – 04:40]
- Ally reflects on her pre-Christian longing for "ride or die" friendships and community—craving loyalty, kindness, humility, and genuine care.
- She connects this desire directly to our God-given need for relationship:
“We were made for God...but we were also made for each other.” (A, 01:50)
- She discusses how the pandemic highlighted our need for human connection, even in small, mundane ways.
2. Emptiness Without Christ-Centered Relationships
[04:41 – 10:00]
- Before Christ, her conversations felt empty: “All the conversations in my life before Jesus felt so surface level and meaningless.” (A, 07:30)
- True fulfillment came when friendships rooted themselves in Jesus’s character—humility, intentionality, and generosity.
- She shares how faith-based friendships now challenge and inspire her:
“Being around people who love so well, it just will naturally convict your spirit and make you go, oh, I... need to be a better friend.” (A, 15:29)
3. Iron Sharpens Iron—Scriptural Foundation for Community
[15:30 – 20:00]
- Ally emphasizes the importance of choosing friends who help you grow spiritually, referencing key scriptures:
- Proverbs 27:17 – “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
- Proverbs 13:20 – “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.”
- She calls out our human tendency to be influenced by those around us, urging listeners to choose community wisely.
4. The Power and Necessity of Asking for Help
[20:01 – 27:00]
- Shares her struggles with accepting help due to fear of disappointment, pride, and self-protection:
“Maybe this is a result of feeling like a burden. Maybe it was self protection, maybe it was pride, I don’t know.” (A, 23:00)
- Explains that God calls us to carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2, 1 Peter 4:10, Romans 12:10).
- Serving and supporting others is “all worship to God.”
5. Navigating Betrayal and Learning to Trust Again
[27:01 – 41:00]
- Acknowledges how past hurt and betrayal can make it hard to accept community or ask for help.
- Talks about “mourning” lost relationships and the necessity of boundaries, even as we continue to love like Christ:
“Boundaries are very Christlike because Jesus set boundaries himself.” (A, 36:35)
- Uses Jesus’ relationships (e.g., inclusion of only Peter, James, and John on the Mount of Transfiguration) as a scriptural example of healthy boundaries.
- Emphasizes consistent communication with God for discernment in relationships.
6. The Active Process of Trust and Forgiveness
[41:01 – 52:00]
- Reiterates that learning to trust again is a “moment-by-moment choice” and cannot be based on feelings alone:
“Faith is not based on your feelings. It has to be based on God.” (A, 44:30)
- Stresses that forgiveness is a prerequisite for moving on and opening up; unforgiveness leads to “bondage and jail time to ourselves.”
- Shares a powerful anecdote about forgiveness and spiritual oppression.
- Reminds listeners that forgiving doesn’t equal trusting everyone with everything—but it does mean releasing bitterness.
7. Foundation in God—Not People
[52:01 – 1:02:00]
- Balances biblical commands to seek community with warnings not to make people our foundation or idol.
“We shouldn’t have our foundation laid on man and rely on people before God...” (A, 54:10)
- Cites Micah 7:5-6, Jeremiah 17:5, Psalm 146:3-4 as warnings about misplaced trust; encourages grounding all relationships on God.
8. Discernment and Setting Boundaries
[1:02:01 – 1:11:00]
- Encourages not to “just trust everyone right off the bat,” advocating for discernment and observing the “fruit” in someone’s life (1 John 4:1, Matthew 7:15).
- Calls listeners to guard their hearts, seek God’s wisdom, and not give away trust prematurely.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- [01:50] “We were made for God... but we were also made for each other.” – Ally Yost
- [07:30] “All the conversations in my life before Jesus felt so surface level and meaningless.” – Ally Yost
- [15:29] “Being around people who love so well, it just will naturally convict your spirit and make you go, oh, I... need to be a better friend.” – Ally Yost
- [23:00] “Maybe this is a result of feeling like a burden. Maybe it was self protection, maybe it was pride, I don’t know.” – Ally Yost
- [36:35] “Boundaries are very Christlike because Jesus set boundaries himself.” – Ally Yost
- [44:30] “Faith is not based on your feelings. It has to be based on God.” – Ally Yost
- [47:20] “Forgiveness should be limitless.” – Ally Yost
- [54:10] “We shouldn’t have our foundation laid on man and rely on people before God...” – Ally Yost
- [1:03:40] “You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act.” (referring to Matthew 7:15) – Ally Yost
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:30 – Why community matters, God’s design for relationship
- 04:41 – The emptiness of pre-Christ friendships
- 10:01 – Motivating scripture about community (“iron sharpens iron”)
- 15:29 – Choosing spiritually uplifting friends
- 20:01 – The difficulty of asking for/accepting help
- 23:00 – Vulnerability and the fear of being a burden
- 27:01 – Navigating betrayal, boundaries and Christ’s example
- 36:35 – Healthy boundaries and discernment in friendships
- 41:01 – Steps to trusting again and the role of forgiveness
- 44:30 – Faith over feelings; forgiveness and healing
- 52:01 – God as our foundation in relationships
- 1:02:01 – Vital importance of discernment (“testing the spirits”)
- 1:03:40 – Observing the “fruit” in someone’s actions
Final Encouragement & Call to Action
- Ally ends by affirming listeners’ desire for God and community, praying spiritual discernment and closeness for the week ahead.
- She reminds everyone that virtual community matters, saying:
“If you don’t feel like you have community physically in front of you, you absolutely have a community here. Virtually, you do, though. We are still the body. We are still family.” (A, 1:11:30)
- Invites listeners to encourage and pray for one another in the online comment sections.
Tone and Style
Ally’s approach is warm, honest, relatable, and rooted in scripture. She blends personal stories, biblical wisdom, and practical encouragement, speaking as a friend and fellow traveler rather than as an instructor.
For anyone wrestling with loneliness, past hurt, or a yearning for true spiritual friendship, this episode is a compassionate guide for the journey toward authentic community—rooted firmly in Christ.