Church of the Highlands - Sunday Messages
Episode: "Golden Rule Relationships"
Date: January 11, 2026
Speaker: Church of the Highlands (main speaker: Mark)
Series: Seek First (Week 2)
Main Theme / Purpose
This episode centers on practical relationship wisdom, rooted in the teachings of Jesus, especially the "Golden Rule." Drawing from Matthew 6:33 and Matthew 7:12, the message explores how prioritizing God (“seeking first his kingdom”) reorganizes our lives—most notably, our relationships. The speaker outlines a Spirit-empowered path to abundant, healthy relationships through understanding, seeking, and enacting the Golden Rule, while addressing the challenges of loneliness and relational dysfunction in contemporary society.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Foundation: Seeking God First
[01:50]
- The year’s theme draws from Matthew 6:33:
“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
- When God is first, “everything else finds its proper place.”
- The series will address top life areas identified by a Highlands congregational survey: walk with God, relationships, finances, personal growth/purpose, and physical health.
2. The Centrality of Relationships
[09:15]
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Core truths:
- God is a relational God.
- Church of the Highlands is a relational church.
- Relationships are key to experiencing God’s design for abundance.
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Notable quote:
“We are all the sum total of our relationships. No one can name me the last ten sermons they've heard... But everyone can name ten people who’ve impacted their life, good or bad.” — [13:45]
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Personal anecdotes illustrate how pivotal relationships have shaped the speaker’s life, ministry journey, and even location:
- Key influences: college roommate Thomas, Pastor Blake Lindsay, and others deeply impacted his trajectory.
- “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” [15:40]
3. The Enemy’s Bullseye: Attacking Relationships
[23:00]
- Speaker stresses spiritual warfare around relationships:
“If you want to look at the bullseye of the enemy in our life and in churches, the enemy’s doing anything he can to attack the area of relationships.”
- Citing statistics: only 13% of American adults have a close, intimate friendship; loneliness is at an all-time high.
4. Theological Framework for Relationships
[25:15]
- God’s design: We’re made for relationship (Genesis 1:26, 2:18).
- The problem: Sin fractured relationships, causing self-centeredness and dysfunction.
“When sin and self are at the center... they become the source. And that will always lead to dysfunction.” [28:45]
- The hope: Jesus “shows us a better way”—a radical, divine reordering.
5. The Greatest Commandment
[32:00]
- Matthew 22: Love God with all your heart, soul, mind; love your neighbor as yourself.
- This isn’t two separate commands—the second is inseparable and equal:
“You cannot truly love God without loving people, and you cannot rightly love people without loving God.” [34:20]
- "Neighbor" includes everyone God puts near us, even our enemies.
6. The Golden Rule Principle
[37:10]
- Matthew 7:12 (“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you…”)
- Three practical principles for golden rule relationships:
- Seek to Understand Others (Empathy)
- Take Initiative (Proactivity)
- Repeat as Necessary (Perseverance)
- Not about waiting for others to act; it’s about “going first.”
In-Depth: Golden Rule Relationships
1. Seek to Understand Others: Empathy
[39:00]
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Emphasis on biblical (not cultural) empathy:
“Biblical empathy is not agreement or endorsement. It is the intentional choice to seek to understand a person's needs, perspectives, fears, and vulnerabilities.”
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Empathy modeled by Christ (Hebrews 4:15):
“We do not have a high priest who's unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are. Yet he did not sin.”
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Key tool: the PAUSE.
- “We pause because listening precedes wisdom. We pause because anger clouds judgment. We pause because everyone carries unseen weight…”
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Notable quote (Dietrich Bonhoeffer):
“Those who can no longer listen to their brother will soon no longer be listening to God.” [46:30]
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Personal illustration: Pausing amid marital disagreements to avoid simply “reloading” arguments, and instead seeking understanding.
2. Take Initiative: Proactive Love
[48:40]
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Moving from reactivity (“don’t harm”) to proactivity (“actively seek their good”).
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Luke 6: Love and do good to enemies; bless those who curse you; pray for those who mistreat you.
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Radical teaching—mirrors God’s action toward us (Romans 5:8):
“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
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Practical ways to go first:
- Apologize first
- Name what you appreciate
- Include others
- Pursue clarity
- Serve instead of waiting to be served
- Shut down gossip
- Respond privately, not publicly
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Notable encouragement: “We treat people how we would want to be treated. And here it is, church: We go first.” [50:10]
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Speaker shares that, after preparing this message, God brought specific names to mind for initiative-taking.
3. Stick With It: Perseverance in the Golden Rule
[52:00]
- Matthew 18: Peter asks Jesus if forgiving seven times is enough; Jesus replies, “not seven times, but seventy times seven.”
- The journey to healthy, abundant relationships is ongoing—requiring repeated commitment.
- Key reassurance: We are responsible for our actions, but trust God with the outcome.
4. The Essential Ingredient: God’s Power
[54:10]
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We can’t do this on our own—need dependence on the Holy Spirit.
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Romans 8:11: “The same power that raised Christ from the dead is available to you…”
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Zechariah 4:6: “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.”
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Outcome of Spirit-empowered relationships:
"Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control… Against such things, no weapon of the enemy can prevail.” [55:10]
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Upcoming 21 Days of Prayer will focus on cultivating the Fruit of the Spirit for relationships.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
“When God is first, everything else finds its proper place.” — [06:30]
“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” — [15:40]
“You cannot truly love God without loving people, and you cannot rightly love people without loving God.” — [34:20]
“Biblical empathy is not agreement or endorsement. It is the intentional choice to seek to understand.” — [39:50]
“Instead of waiting for an apology, we apologize first. Instead of waiting to be served, we serve.” — [50:30]
“It will not be by might or by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.” — [54:45]
“We love because He first loved us.” — [57:00]
Important Timestamps
- Foundation & Series Introduction: [00:24] – [06:30]
- The Power of Relationships & Personal Testimony: [09:15] – [19:50]
- Relationships Under Attack: [23:00]
- Theological Roots – Greatest Commandment: [32:00]
- Golden Rule Introduced: [37:10]
- Practical Guidelines for Relationships: [39:00] – [55:00]
- Call to Spiritual Empowerment: [54:10]
- Prayer & Challenge for the Week: [56:30]
Tone & Style
The teaching is warm, dynamic, and encouraging—peppered with “Can I get an amen?” and laughter, but grounded in Scripture and honest, practical wisdom. The speaker is transparent about his journey and candid about the difficulties of relationships, modeling humility and hope.
Takeaway & Practical Application
- The path to God-honoring, flourishing relationships starts by putting God first—but flows directly into relational life.
- The Golden Rule isn’t passive; it’s a call to proactive, Spirit-empowered love, forgiveness, and understanding.
- True relational transformation isn’t possible alone, but is available to all “by His Spirit.”
- Listeners are challenged to identify specific relationships needing initiative, and to join the churchwide focus on prayer and the Fruit of the Spirit, seeking 2026 as a year of relational breakthrough.
For further reflection and action, tune in to Church of the Highlands’ 21 Days of Prayer, and take the speaker’s advice: “Go first. Repeat as necessary. Trust God with the outcome.”