Podcast Summary: "What Is Love?"

Church of the Highlands – Sunday Messages
Date: February 8, 2026

Episode Overview

This message launches the "Loveology" series at Church of the Highlands, dedicating the month of February to exploring love and relationships from a biblical perspective. The speaker emphasizes a need for transformation in how we understand and experience love, addressing common misconceptions and grounding the message in scripture—primarily 1 John 4 and John 13. The heart of this teaching is that healthy relationships begin with allowing God’s love to transform us from within before we try to love others.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Why "Loveology"?

• February is naturally the "month of love," making it a fitting time to discuss relationships (06:00).
• Relationships are the most requested teaching topic—covering dating, conflict, parenting, and marriage.
• A focus on practical ways to grow, including upcoming small groups and the annual marriage conference (07:20).

2. Relational Struggles Are Universal

• The majority of prayer requests the church receives are about relationships—pain, reconciliation, marriage struggles, and navigating singleness (11:40).
• Quote:

  "I'm standing here today full of faith that in all these and in every situation that comes our way... God can move." (14:20)

3. The Foundation: Healthy Relationships Start in Us

• True relational change starts inside of us, not just about the other person (17:30).
• Opening acknowledgment of how easy it is to blame "them" with humor about household disagreements (19:10).
• Quote:

  "It is obvious that if they change, I could finally be the loving person God has called me to be." (21:10)

4. Dr. Les Parrott’s Stinging Quote

• Quote:

  "If you try to build intimacy with another person before you've gotten whole on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself." (22:20)

5. Theology Before Practicality: What Is Love, According to God?

• Christianity = heart transformation, not behavior modification. (24:45)
• Importance of grounding relationships on theological truth, not self-help fads (25:10).
• Three major misconceptions that cloud our understanding of love (29:30):
  • Love is just a feeling.
    • Feelings are part of love but not the totality—feelings come and go.
  • Love means approval.
    • Modern culture equates love with unconditional approval, but real love involves truth, accountability, and sometimes hard conversations.
    • Quote:

      "That is indifference with better branding." (34:45)

  • Love is conditional.
    • Many struggle to believe they are worthy of love or feel they must earn it, often stemming from family or religious backgrounds.

6. Biblical Clarity on Love: 1 John 4 & 1 Corinthians 13

• Love originates from God: "God is love." (41:15, 1 John 4:8)

• Revelation: Replacing "love" with "God" in 1 Corinthians 13 helps internalize God’s deep care (44:40).

  • Quote:

    "God is patient. God is kind. God keeps no record of wrongs…Our God never fails." (45:40)

• Action of Love:

  • Real love is God’s self-sacrifice through Jesus (1 John 4:9-10 and Romans 8:39-40).
  • Emphasis: "You are worth His love." (48:45)

7. Divine Order of Love

• The biblical pattern: God IS love → God loves us → We love others (52:00).
• Explains Greek words for love—agape (sacrificial, unconditional love) is both how God loves and how we are called to love others.
  • If we have been "agape loved," we pass on that love— not limited by feeling, but a committed choice for others’ true good (54:20).
• Practical outworkings of agape love:
  • Telling the truth in love
  • Forgiving without keeping score
  • Choosing kindness and reconciliation
  • Loving enemies (56:25)

8. The Only Way Forward: We Must First Receive God’s Love

• The ability to love others is proportional to our ability to receive God’s love (1 John 4:19).
• Quote:

  "The real issue isn’t loving others. That’s downline from the real issue, which is us receiving love ourselves." (01:00:00)

• Many have "a receiving problem, not a loving problem." (01:01:00)

9. John’s Transformation: From “Son of Thunder” to “Beloved”

• The writer of John and 1 John, moved by the experience of Jesus' love at the Last Supper. (01:04:20)

• In John 13, Jesus washes disciples’ feet—including Judas, his betrayer—as a profound act of love "to the end."

  • Quote:

    "He loves you to the end. To the end of eternity." (01:08:10)

• The importance of receiving love—Peter’s initial rejection of Jesus’ service, and Jesus’ firm reply:

  “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” (01:11:00)

• Analogy: There’s a personal “slice” of God’s love for each of us, but we must allow ourselves to receive it.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On approval:

  “That is indifference with better branding.” (34:45)

• On God’s love:

  "God is patient. God is kind...God keeps no record of wrongs." (45:40)

• On worthiness:

  "No, we are not worthy of his love. We are worth—You are worth his love." (48:45)

• On practical love:

  “When we say, as a follower of Jesus, I love you: this is what we mean. I’ve been agape loved. Therefore, I love my spouse this way. I love my siblings this way. I love my neighbors this way. Even my enemies this way.” (56:25)

• On our real struggle:

  “The real issue isn’t loving others. That’s downline from the real issue, which is us receiving love ourselves.” (01:00:00)

• Jesus’ act of love:

  "What is love? ...The hands that created and formed the universe touch the dust and sin-covered feet, including Judas..." (01:07:00)

• Receiving God’s love personally:

  “Unless you let me wash you, unless you let me love you, you have no part in me...There’s a piece of God’s love that is for you and you alone.” (01:11:00)

Important Timestamps

• Opening series context & welcome: 00:00–06:00
• Testimonies and church updates: 06:00–13:00
• Relational pain and real-life examples: 13:00–17:30
• Humorous take on blaming others: 17:30–21:10
• Defining healthy relationships from God’s perspective: 22:20–24:45
• Three misconceptions about love: 29:30–37:00
• Scripture deep-dive (1 John 4 and 1 Corinthians 13): 41:15–48:45
• Explanation of agape love: 52:00–56:00
• Receiving God’s love, not just giving: 01:00:00–01:11:00
• John 13—Jesus washes the disciples’ feet: 01:04:20–01:13:00
• Conclusion and time of prayer/worship: 01:16:00–end

Closing Thoughts

The core of this episode is a call to let go of striving and open ourselves to receive God’s unconditional, sacrificial love—only then can we authentically love others. The message balances approachable humor, heartfelt anecdotes, and direct scriptural engagement, urging listeners to step out of cultural misconceptions and into a transformative relationship with God. The service concludes with an invitation to worship, praying for shame, striving, and self-reliance to be broken so each person can receive God’s agape love and start a journey of giving it to others.

“We can only give what we have received. Today, let Him love you.” (01:15:25)