Cleared Hot - Episode 378: Nick Middaugh

Host: Andy Stumpf
Guest: Nick Middaugh
Release Date: March 17, 2025

1. Introduction

In Episode 378 of Cleared Hot, host Andy Stumpf welcomes Nick Middaugh, a military veteran and public speaker, to discuss his harrowing journey through childhood abuse, alcoholism, and eventual path to sobriety. Nick shares his deeply personal experiences, offering insights into the challenges faced by male survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) and the road to recovery.

2. Early Life and Abuse

Nick begins by recounting his seemingly idyllic childhood in rural Michigan, a stark contrast to the trauma he endured.

• Nick [25:15]: "My earliest childhood memories are that of sexual abuse. When I look back at my childhood, there's being in a closet with another kid around my age receiving oral sex and having to provide."

Despite a loving family environment on the surface, Nick reveals that abuse was a hidden reality, leaving lasting scars on his mental health.

3. Descent into Alcoholism

Struggling with the abuse, Nick turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism during his teenage years.

• Nick [12:00]: "I was crushing it, dude. Like four or five a night."

His reliance on alcohol intensified after turning 21, leading to significant weight gain and deteriorating relationships.

• Nick [16:25]: "I went from 185 to 275 pounds. It's a lot of weight. It was a lot."

4. Impact on Family and Relationships

Nick discusses the strain his addiction placed on his relationships, particularly with his wife and children.

• Nick [55:16]: "My mom tried to read through [the letter], and it felt like I was pulling a knife out of my chest and shoving it into hers."

Despite multiple attempts and ultimatums from his wife to quit drinking, Nick found himself caught in a cycle of relapse.

• Nick [117:15]: "How to overcome it... I finally got sober, I have to realize there is no moderation for me. There is no day I'm gonna have a drink and it'll be fine."

5. Journey to Sobriety

A turning point came when Nick's second child was born in 2021, motivating him to seek sobriety.

• Nick [23:51]: "I ended up quitting about a month after my second boy was born, September 9th."

Over three years of sobriety have been challenging but transformative, helping him rebuild his life and relationships.

• Nick [122:39]: "What keeps me sober now is just that thought, like, I have to be. I have to have this for me, and I don't deserve that shit."

6. Writing and Advocacy

Nick authored the book "Suffering in Silence: Male Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivorship", aiming to shed light on the often-overlooked plight of male survivors.

• Nick [34:00]: "The book started as a journal for my kids and evolved into a memoir to help others who have gone through similar experiences."

He emphasizes the importance of openness and support systems in overcoming trauma.

• Nick [67:41]: "It takes dudes being vulnerable enough to get out there and talk about it."

7. Current Life and Ongoing Challenges

Despite achieving sobriety, Nick acknowledges the continuous struggle to maintain it amidst life's pressures.

• Nick [130:07]: "The urge is still there some days."

He highlights the importance of self-love and personal responsibility in his ongoing recovery journey.

• Nick [138:21]: "I see somebody that's trying to stay on the path... trying to improve and walk on that path and understand that, hey, I deserve to be sober."

8. Advice and Insights

Nick offers valuable advice to listeners dealing with similar struggles:

• Nick [74:23]: "Your abuser does not hold true power over you. Your true power comes from you and what you do with your situation."

• Nick [84:21]: "Your abuser and your situation... your trauma would have you think that they hold power over you and your life, but the reality is that power is within you."

He advocates for seeking therapy, building supportive relationships, and using one's experiences as fuel for positive change.

• Nick [41:07]: "Being somebody who this happened to, I had to realize there's a better life than getting drunk every day."

9. Conclusion

Episode 378 of Cleared Hot offers a poignant exploration of Nick Middaugh's battle with childhood abuse and alcoholism. His candid storytelling serves as a beacon of hope for male survivors, emphasizing resilience, the importance of seeking help, and the possibility of reclaiming one's life from the depths of addiction and trauma.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Nick [25:15]: "When I think about, you know, when I look back and I look at my childhood... there's being in a closet with another kid around my age receiving oral sex and having to provide."

• Nick [16:25]: "I went from 185 to 275 pounds. It's a lot of weight. It was a lot."

• Nick [55:16]: "It felt like I was pulling this knife out of my chest and shoving it into hers."

• Nick [117:15]: "I have to realize there is no moderation for me. There is no day I'm gonna have a drink and it'll be fine."

• Nick [34:00]: "The book started as a journal for my kids and evolved into a memoir to help others who have gone through similar experiences."

• Nick [67:41]: "It takes dudes being vulnerable enough to get out there and talk about it."

• Nick [74:23]: "Your abuser does not hold true power over you. Your true power comes from you and what you do with your situation."

• Nick [130:07]: "The urge is still there some days."

• Nick [138:21]: "I see somebody that's trying to stay on the path... trying to improve and walk on that path and understand that, hey, I deserve to be sober."

For more insights and to support Nick Middaugh's mission, listeners are encouraged to explore his book "Suffering in Silence: Male Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivorship" available on Amazon and Kindle.