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Full Auto Friday - 10/03/2025
00:58:05
Traditional Q and A to round out the week, answering only the most demanding questions facing our society, world, and likely species. I did actually cover: -How do I best advocate for my daughters -What does the 160th SOAR regimen do -Arming school...
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Morning, Zoe. Got donuts. Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage? Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you teach me. So, Dana. Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system. Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network. Nice. Je free. You heard them. T mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for lunch? Dude, my work here is done. The 24 month bill credit on experience beyond for well qualified customers plus tax and 35 device connection charge credit send and balance due. If you pay off earlier, Cancel Finance agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs 1099.99 A new line minimum 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Oklahoma Speed Test Intelligence Data 182025 Visit T mobile.com okay, got the red smoke. Sun runs north of south, west of the smoke. West of the smoke. Okay, copy. West of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Oh, wait a minute. Give it to me. I mean it. You're clear. Hot copy. Clear night. Well, hello everybody. We are back. I feel like it's been a while since we've done a Q and A. It's probably been a couple weeks, so I have a good selection. I'm going to open with the longest one I have. No far. No far. I have no idea how far I'll get into this today, but we'll just go until we've had enough. What else is going on? Oh, young Michael is on his way to Japan as I record this. Actually, he's at the airport right now waiting for his flight. And I will say this thank you to everybody who continues to support the podcast with their merchandise purchases. I am not sure that I remember how to correctly print out labels, associate them with the order that was put in and send them off. So I think I'm gonna let Michael handle that when he gets back. And what I'm gonna do is like an incredible sale probably shortly before he gets back, like 105% off just to flood him with orders. But we'll get to that when we get to that. So when it comes time to that, let's crush him because it's arguable as to whether or not he deserved a vacation in the first place. But that's neither here nor there. What's going on, everybody? How many of you have an optimized daily routine? You wake up in the morning, you got it dialed, you know how to start your day, you have it structured. Maybe you're going for some hydration, some supplementation, whatever it may be, journaling, meditation. You're just cracking off, right? To begin your day. I try to. It's not great. I try to. But I tell you what has been a game changer for me. Treating the nighttime, my nighttime routine with as much emphasis and importance as my morning routine. And that is where AGZ comes in. AGZ is a nighttime drink that is gonna help you wind down. It is a melatonin free formula with clinically studied herbs, adaptogens and minerals. I tell you what I've determined. You cannot outwork a poor sleep hygiene routine. You just can't. You don't get enough sleep and everything starts to fall apart. And for me, the more of a structured approach that I take, the better. So I have started taking AGZ about 30 minutes before bed. And it is that nice nudge that helps me just wind up my day. It optimizes sleep quality during the night and you wake up feeling well rested without grogginess. I used to take magnesium before bed in addition to a few other things. I don't need to worry about that anymore. With agz, it's one of the few sleep supplements that contains both magtine, magnesium and saffron, two high quality ingredients at amounts supported by research that together support the body's need to calm and ease into a natural sleep. If you are ready to turn down the stress and focus on the rest, head over to drink ag1.com ClearedHot to get your free frother with your first purchase of AGZ. That's drink AG1 cleared hot. Okay, let's just get right into this question number one. Like I said, this is a long one. But I'll tell you what, I picked this one because it has parallels to my own life. Actually more probably my own family. And I'll explain that as we get into it. So here we go. First, I apologize for the lengthy message. Some quick background. I am a blank military member, a very happily married husband, and a father to two beautiful girls. My wife is shockingly intuitive and from an early. From early on in our relationship, she mentioned things she thought were odd and how my parents interacted with and behaved towards me. And my wife. I initially wrote it off as her not understanding our family dynamic. However, as we progressed in our relationship things became worse and more apparent, starting with them being vocally against us getting married due to one of my sisters getting divorced around the time that we got engaged, saying it was too soon after her divorce. And I think what you mean by that is your sister's divorce, which has nothing to do with your marriage and finally coming to a head with the events of this weekend. I have an older sister and brother, both married with two kids of their own. Neither are overly religious. My father had made many comments over the years about his grandchildren not being baptized and they decided together that they would get their children baptized for him so that he would be happy, not necessarily because of their personal beliefs. Me and my wife are both Christians and after one of my siblings mentioned this would be happening and asked if we were interested in doing the same, we discussed it and agreed that it felt wrong to have our daughters baptized for the sake of making my dad happy in a way that doesn't coincide with our faith. I took a stand and said that we would not be getting our daughters baptized, but we would love to be there for their kids. My father and both siblings pressured me on it multiple times, but I've stood my ground every time and stuck to my convictions. Religions aside, this plays a small part in the many actions that have me so upset right now. Today they had the baptism. I really hoped it wouldn't go how I thought that it would go, but it did. We spent the weekend with my parents, siblings, their children and spouses at my parents house the entire time. We both felt like guests. My children were mostly ignored, never held by their grandparents for more than a minute or two unless we directly asked them for help. While they had played with their other grandkids throughout the weekend, the real knife in the back was at the church. During the baptism ceremony, my parents, siblings and their families sat on the front row. When we asked if there was room for us, we were told to sit in the back row behind other family that had shown up. We tried to ignore that, but after the ceremony we watched as my entire family lined up to take pictures together in front of the church, minus myself, my wife and my daughters. We stood directly in front of them and watched, never being asked to join. I should have said something and I regret to my core not speaking up for my family, but at the same time I shouldn't have to. None of my siblings or their spouses spoke up for us to join either one of my aunts who is a great woman, asked why we weren't up there and insisted that we join. But before I could say anything, my parents hurried everyone away to get back to their house for lunch with everyone. I immediately picked up both of my daughters, beat everyone out and we were the first ones back to the house. I started loading the truck up and we left as soon as we could. This is just one event, but it is a perfect summary of how myself, my wife and my daughters have been treated over the last five years that we have been married and 11 months my daughters have been alive. I don't understand why myself and my family get treated this way. I never got in trouble. I excelled to the best of my ability in everything that I've done and followed almost exactly in my father's footsteps. They were initially against me and my wife's marriage, but she's proven herself as an amazing, supportive and hardworking wife as well as an amazing mother. Despite all of this, including one of my siblings making many poor life decisions that upset my parents, they still get treated better than us and we are left as an afterthought. That day I broke down crying on the drive home from my parents house, doing my best to hide it from my daughters but I couldn't contain it anymore. We went to my wife's parents house later and I shed a few tears again when I hugged my mother in law after she told me she loved me and that she was proud of me. Her parents are incredible and what I aim to model my own marriage and parenting style after. And she's an amazing woman that over the last few years has felt more like a loving biological mother than my own mom at times. I'm angry now, not for myself and how I feel, but for my daughters. My wife is an incredible woman. She hurts for me seeing she hurts for me seeing me being treated like this by my own parents. And after discussing it we've come to three paths I can take moving forward. Potential Path number one do nothing knowing nothing will change and explain to my daughters as they get older why they're treated as lesser compared to their cousins but avoid confrontation. Potential path 2 don't address it directly with my parents, but vocally bring it up in the moments when we are treated poorly or differently. Potential option three have the conflict, sit down with my parents and address it head on. Tell them how their actions make me feel and what I need for me and my family. Option number one without a doubt is not an option. My daughters are the most important thing in my life or things plural in my life. And I will no longer accept them being treated with anything less than absolute love and admiration. And anyone who isn't willing to give them that will, will be cut out of our lives. My parents aren't bad people. They have done a lot for us, especially financially, and gave me a great childhood. And I'm not sure they realize what they're doing. I think I know the answer to this extremely long winded question. And even if you never read this, writing down my feelings has been very or immensely helpful. Uh, let me see here. I appreciate you. And if. If I'm ever the pilot on one of your flights, I'll do everything I can to upgrade you to first class. That's what I'm talking about. Let's make that happen. Actually, don't give it to somebody who needs it far more than myself. I'm not at a place yet where I absolutely have to have it. Okay, that was long, obviously. And there's a reason I picked this. Every family has some quirky dynamics. I have heard some people say their family is amazing. But if you lay out the family tree, let me tell you what happens every single time. There's a couple branches out there that are a little wonky. There's a couple nuts that fall or acorns that fall off and hit a few things along the way. I've never not seen it in a family. And I hate absolute terms, like always and never. I try to avoid them, but this is one. So far, I have yet to see a family that is perfection from top to bottom. There is conflict, there is drama, there's bs, there's all of that. And I've experienced some of that in. In my own life. So first things first. Your daughters sound like they're 11 years old. The experience that you had became emotionally overwhelming for you. And it got to a place where you were crying. Four guys. A lot of guys. Crying is seen as an absolute sign of weakness. And don't get me wrong, I think there's a time and place to put your emotions aside and get the job done. And then there's a time and place to work through your emotions, or I should actually say maybe let them work their way through you. But what you should never do, I believe, is push them down or ignore them. And the reason I brought up your daughters. Are you trying to hide it in front of your daughters? Is this one. They're 11 months old. They are not going to ever remember that. You may have broken down in tears because an experience that they're also not gonna remember with your parents, their grandparents. So you can take a little bit of that burden off. I'd be shocked. Not that this is a permission to act like a psychopath for the first four or five years of your kids lives, but there's not a lot of core memories that are associated during that. You're going to be okay if your kids see you with a normal range of emotions. I actually think as your kids get older, it is really valuable for them to see you work through an entire range of human emotions. There are times in life where crying is completely the appropriate thing to do. And if your kids look at you as a role model and example and you're not able to do that, or you are trying as hard as you can to suppress that, what message does that send to them? There are times where anger is a natural reaction. Now, anger can be a probably a little bit more tricky one because people can lash out oftentimes physically, which I don't ever really see that happening with tears, but maybe it's just because it's the other end of the spectrum. In that environment, it's okay for your kids to see you become upset or angry about something, but there's a next step to that one. What do you do when with that emotion? How do you handle it or does it handle you? How do you work your way through conflict? There is value and benefit to both sides of that. So my first piece of advice is don't hide your emotions from your kids. My kids have seen me through my ups and my downs at my lowest points, and not that I really have any high points, but the highest points that I have had in my life. And it is my hope that they understand and in some way that gives them permission to, to express those feelings in that way as well, regardless of the company that they may be in. So that was a little bit of an aside to the email. Okay, you laid out for me three options, but you almost laid out a fourth one here, let me see if I can find it. Yes. So it was do nothing, address it directly when things come up, or have a large conflict. I'm sorry, don't arrest it direct, don't address it directly. But as things come up, you will mention it in the moment, hoping that things are gonna be different, have the conflict. But then in the sentence right after that you wrote, I will no longer accept them being treated. This is your daughters with anything less than absolute love and admiration. And anyone who isn't willing to give it to them will be cut out of our lives. So you verbalize that. But that wasn't one of your options. And I am not advocating that that should be your primary option. But we can't control other people. And there is. There are people in the world who are not going to behave to you or your kids the way that you want them to, regardless of how many times you ask them or express to them the importance. And I'm not saying that that's the case with your parents. But for those people, since you can't control them, the only metric of control you have is your exposure to them, which you laid out here perfectly. They're going to get cut out of your life. But you didn't list it as an opt option, which makes me think that you may not consider it to be an option. And this ties into my own family experience. My dad's been on the show many times. I think we've addressed this directly a couple times. My father and his father had. While they had a relationship when he was younger, it was tenuous. That is a word that I would use. He might pick a different vernacular on that. But. But what it ended up being was a full split in our family. And because of the decision that my father made. And I actually don't think he made it by himself. He talked with my mom for sure about this. I know this because I remember them. And this was a. It wasn't a super frequent topic of conversation. Like it wasn't always just right there on the cusp. But it would come up enough that I remember it because I think I was in probably right before my teenage years, or maybe maybe 13, somewhere between 10 to 13 years old. And my dad was trying to decide essentially whether or not he was going to disown his own father. Because with that came the relationship with his mother. She was not going to leave her husband. And that was pretty clear. I think there was hope that she maybe if my dad, and by extension my dad, my entire family. So therefore my mom, my sister and myself were to make that decision, that she actually may come with us. But I think it was pretty rapidly determined that that wasn't going to be the case. And I remember being at my grandfather's house, it was around Christmas time. Cause I remember there were Christmas decorations up. I don't think it was Christmas, although it could very well have been Christmas, because we often used to go see them on Christmas. And I remember sitting on their couch. He had a big house. He was relatively wealthy man. And there were lights going around, red and White lights. I was like, holy cow, that's a really cool tree. I've never seen lights do that. Yeah, it was the cops from outside because actually I think it's the sheriffs. Cops get real pissed when you call them sheriffs, and sheriffs get real pissed when you call them officers. So that's neither here nor there. My grandfather call the cops on us. And by that, mostly my mom and dad, because my mom and dad had made the decision that they were going to try to get my grandmother to leave and that was going to be the end of it. That's not what ended up happening. And in the end, because of the person that my grandfather was, which I didn't really experience directly, I was too young to experience the things that my dad did because a lot of that relationship strain had happened before I was even born earlier in his life. But because of his decision, I did not have a grandfather and a grandmother on my dad's side. And based off what I have learned about the man, in speaking with his brother, my uncle, who was amazing and died a few years ago of cancer, I mean, diametrically opposed people from his brother. Amazing role in my life. Loved Donnie was amazing. Loved him to death. But even him talking about his own brother was wild. And I completely understand the decision that my largely my dad made. Obviously have my mom's buy in. I completely respect it and I don't regret it at all. Even though it cost me a relationship with my grandfather and my grandmother. I have no regrets about the relationship with my grandfather. I have only unknowns as to what it could have been like with a relationship with my grandma. But I understand why he made that decision. My grandpa wasn't going to listen to anybody. He was going to be the way that he was because it was his way or the highway. And he would actually enjoy telling you those things. And no amount of cajoling, convincing, asking, begging, pleading was going to get him to change his behavior and the way that he treated other people, specifically our family. So what metric of control did my dad have? Proximity. That's it. Here's the reality. We don't get to pick our families. It's so funny the things that people choose to pick away at others about. Oh, you're from, you're just some California liberal like, hey bro, I had no choice where I was born and I left California pretty much as early as I could. Or, oh, you just grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. As if anybody had the choice of being born like that. And also, let's Add to that, as if most people wouldn't immediately switch places with them. It has nothing to do with the person born into that situation. You cannot control the family you're born into, where you're born into, or the family circumstances. But you'll get to a point in your life where you do have the ability to choose and control and diverge off of that freeway. If it's not going well for you, I would ask yourself, because you brought this up about your mother in law, what is more important to you? The DNA blood coursing through your veins or how you are treated? I have watched and probably participated in family members treating me so poorly and others so poorly just because we share some genetic tie that none of us had any hand in. And meanwhile, if that behavior were to occur from somebody you didn't know or just in a social circle or what anything other than them being your family, it would be wholly and completely unacceptable and you have nothing to do with that person ever again. And I understand the draw for family and wanting to have that connection, but you can't force it. And what if it isn't there? What are you going to do then? Are you going to allow people to treat you like you never would allow a stranger to, to your family, to your wife and to your kids? I can't answer that question for you and I'm not trying to advocate for you disowning your family. What I'm saying is there is another option here and I would call that one option number four. Let's call that the break glass in case of war option. I agree with you, Number one, doing nothing. If you change nothing, nothing is going to change. That one's out. Number two, don't address it directly with your parents, but vocally bring it up in the moments when they're treated poorly or differently. This is going to be a really interesting one because not only are you going to get feedback from your parents on this one, I think you're going to get feedback from your siblings as well. And I feel like this one could be very contentious and it could actually drive even more frustration. Maybe it won't. And maybe your siblings will have your back on this one. I hope that they would. But if it doesn't go that way, this divide is going to get bigger and bigger, which might lead you to, you know, matrix point number four as it is anyway. But if you don't advocate for yourself, who is going to? Your children can't. They're 11. They probably can't even articulate a Sentence at this point. If not you, then who? I guess your wife could do it if you want to, but don't put her in that situation. Do it for all of them. So I would say, yeah, you could probably attack number two. Maybe that's not the correct word. Maybe you could execute plan number two and then number three, have the con, the conflict, the big sit down with the parents, address it head on, tell them about their actions and what, how they make you feel and what you need for you and your family. I would say that is amazing. But think through the outcome of that. Are you prepared to take step number four if they were to tell you, hey, you're wrong, pack sand, the person in the wrong here is actually you. Not usually meaning they're going to keep doing what they're doing because they think what you're saying is ridiculous and they don't agree with the premise. If they feel that way or they land there, what are you going to do? It's going to go right back into what can you can control and what is out of your control. What's out of your control is your parents largely. I mean, you could manipulate this situation a little bit. Hopefully. Hopefully they're malleable and responsive and they will be mortified by feeling about or hearing about how their actions have made you feel in this disparity of attention and love, it seems to be. But there's also a chance that they may not. And they also might say, yep, we hear you, we're going to make a change. But then they don't make a change. What's your plan then? So think through those two things where you have the conversation. And I'd say there's three ways it could go. You have that. Option number three, we have the conflict, it changes thing. That's like two thumbs up. 10 out of 10, definitely recommend add to cart. Then there's the other one where you have the conversation. They say they're going to change but nothing happens. Are you going to keep having a conversation or what are you going to do? The third one being, well, yep, you have the conversation and they say, no, you're wrong. You're the person who is wrong and you need to fix yourself. What are you going to do there? A couple of those lead you to potential option number four, which is making the decision that is the best for your immediate family, your wife and your kids. These are very difficult decisions to make. I can tell you as somebody who was on the child side of this, it's not all upside. You do have questions about the person. Could you have had a relationship? What have you potentially missed out on? Have you missed some of the history of your family? But I'm thankful that my dad and mom made the decision that they did, because if a fraction of the behavior that was described to me of this man is accurate, I wouldn't have wanted to be around it. And I completely understand why my parents would make that decision because I would make exactly the same decision if I was in their shoes to protect my own children as well. None of that, none of that answer is going to make any of this easier for you. I would just say think through your plan, all the available options, all the potential outcomes, and mentally work your way through those hurdles before you find yourself presented with it. If you go into every conversation thinking it's going to be roses and it's not, you're going to get emotionally surprised at your reaction. Think through what can we do? What are the outcomes? What you are? What are you not willing to do? What are your go, no go criteria? Answer all of that before you get into this environment, because it will be an emotional environment and emotions are not going to serve your decision making process well. So don't rely on them to do so. I wish you nothing but luck. Do me a favor, reach out to me again once you decide what it is that you're going to do and let me know how it went. Today's episode is brought to you by Peaked. Do any of these things sound like something you may be searching for? How about Gut Health, Longevity, Convenience, Microbiome reset energy and mood? How about immune support? Well, guess what? You can find them all in their puair teas. You heard me right. Gut Health naturally fermented for living Probiotics and prebiotics that balance your microbiome. Antioxidants that fight oxidative stress to support cellular regeneration and longevity Dissolves instantly in water. You don't need tea bags. You don't have to brew anything. Just get yourself some hot water in a vessel to drink it in. Balances gut flora for better digestion and smoother metabolism and polyphenols to bolster your body's resilience. These teas come from 250-year-old tea trees for unmatched purity and peak uses a cold extraction technology which helps retain maximum phytonutrients. If you're ready to elevate your day and transform your health for a limited time, you can get 20% off of the poo air bundle plus a free starter kit including a rechargeable frother usb. The thing's amazing. And a glass beaker with my link, head to peaklife.com ClearedHot that is P I Q U E L I F E.com ClearedHot to get that exclusive offer back to the show. Question number two, Andy, I've been a fan of yours since I first heard you on Rogan. My friend's cousin, Chief Warrant Officer 3 Andrew Culley, was one of the pilots on the 160th crash in Washington State last week. While I have no military experience, I've always been a full on military nerd. My friend and his family were not huge military nerds like me and they didn't know how elite Drew must have been to be a member of that squadron. I informed him that he must have been absolutely elite to be there and he seemed to have found some comfort in that. Can you expound on the complete badassery involved in flying for the soar, which stands for Special Operations Aviation Regiment. I believe the full thing is TF160 soar. So task force 1 60th special operations aviation Regiment. I was not an aviator in the military, but we utilized these services of the 160th, at least when I was out in Virginia beach exclusively. And so I got to talk with the guys quite a bit. And I've gotten to know some of them afterwards. So broadly I can at least talk about how difficult it was or is for somebody to become an aviator in that squadron. There's a variety of rotary wing jobs, not probably not an unlimited amount of platforms. But I mean, in the Navy you're talking moving personnel, ship to ship stuff, ship to shore, all sorts of stuff. There's great utilization for helicopters. Army probably has even more utilization because you can use it to move, you know, people and things. Some of my favorite images are Chinooks with artillery pieces or Humvees under slung underneath them. And you're just moving, you know, war pieces around the battlefield. I think it's amazing. So there's a bunch of aviators, but the vast majority of them don't make it to the 160th. And it's probably because the vast majority of them don't try out for the 160th, but it's a very specialized job. So my understanding of it is this. For one, you got to do your time in the traditional, in this case army, and you gotta build your hours. I don't know how the army does it. They might do only rotary. I know Navy starts all pilots off fixed wing and then you go to rotary wing. But regardless, you are going to have to put some time in to polish your skills as a military aviator. And it could be a couple tours of duty, but I would bet that the regiment is not even going to take a look at you until you have a couple thousand hours or close to it. There's actually a guy here locally in the valley that I know used to fly for them. I'm actually going to double. I should have double checked with him before I answered this question, but unfortunately I didn't see him. But I will double check and there's a selection process and definitely not everybody is going to get selected for the 1/60. What are they selecting you on? From my understanding talking to these guys is your ability to maneuver an aircraft through space and time, your stick and rudder skills. Can you land on the X every time on time? Oh, and by the way, the vast, vast majority of their flying is going to be done at night. I've watching people do amazing thing and how things with helicopters in the daytime is still awesome. But you take a helicopter pilot who has thousands of hours of daytime flying and can bend their aircraft in any way they want to and put it wherever they want to and you get them at night and you put them on goggles and they've never done that before. They are not going to be able to replicate any of those things. I would almost say it is a completely different skill set. And when it comes to the 1/60 and who the 1/60 supports, which is special operations, that's actually all that matters. Like, oh, you're a badass in the daytime. You can do, you know, whirly cues and loop de loops in your helicopter in the daytime. But I throw a set of goggles on you and I need you to fly in an urban environment while you're getting shot at and basically stuff this little bird in underneath a concrete overhang where somebody parks a car. Oh, you can't do that at nighttime with, oh, I'm sorry, four people on the skids or six then, sorry, you're not going to be a part of the unit. And that's okay. There's amazing aviators that were never part of the 160th. There's amazing aviators who never wanted to be a part of the 160s. That job is just very specific. It's like any special operations job. Some people want to do it and some people don't. It's an additional level of training. Their equipment is probably going to be better. I think the airflames that they fly are always going to be on the cutting edge. They're nods are probably going to be the front leading edge and that stuff will trickle down to traditional or conventional aviation. And their requirement and tolerances for their performance is super, super tight. If you're a pilot at the 160th, the best thing that I can say for that family, if you want to pass this along, is those pilots are as good as it gets. I have now that I have been flying helicopters for about a year, I don't even understand how they were able to get those machines to do what they did in near blackout conditions. Like yeah, he got nods on, but that doesn't stop a brown out or a whiteout. I mean the things that I watched them do, the risks that I would watch them take when we would ask for help, the exposure that they would intentionally put themselves into is and was nothing short of jaw dropping. Those people are the savages of the sky. Flying in a machine that feels like it's constantly trying to rip itself apart. And I don't know who makes bolts and rivets and stuff like that, but I'm really glad the people who make helicopter ones are good because I feel like one of those things goes and you're about to have a really bad day. They are amazing aviators. I would say they're the best rotary wing aviators that the military has to offer. And I'm not sure they have their equal anywhere else in the world, Inside of the military or out. That's how badass their family member was. And hopefully that gives them a little bit of peace and comfort. Question number three. Let's talk about arming up teachers. Andy, I appreciate the fact that you readily admit when you are not an expert on a topic, which let me add to this is exactly what I'm not on this topic. I have a good understanding of firearms. I have no experience teaching teachers, being a teacher, being an armed teacher in an environment around children. It was never my job to provide protective services to children in an educational setting. So I have a limited exposure to a portion of this. So that's a long way of saying I'm not an expert in this portion either. The situation recently when attending a program at my daughter's school of approximately 600 students, private pre K through 12 faith based institution, I noticed a warning sign at the main entrance. I'll paraphrase, but the gist of it was if you enter this building with the intent to do harm to our students. Our teachers are armed and will do what's necessary to protect them. It wasn't a huge or threatening sign, but it sure caught my attention and gets the message across. Of course, I'm not the intended recipient of this message. Question after listening to podcast 403 and Steve Holland described the response to the Covenant School shooting. He was awesome. Him talking about that response and these officers just full back dive as fast as they could charging to the threat. Which is the way, by the way, it was amazing. 43 was a banger episode. So after listening to that, I wonder about civilian. I wonder about a civilian response to such a threat. Granted, any response or resistance is better than just freezing and becoming a casualty, but these folks are teachers and not leo trained and practiced. Where do you fall on the topic of civilians providing their own security in churches, schools, businesses, et cetera? Man on the outside this seems like such a simple question and I mean my answer is not going to be super complex, but there are layers to this. I am not against the concept of teachers being able to be armed and I'll put an asterisk on that. The asterisk is make sure you go and get the appropriate amount of training and that you are competent and I don't know the way to do that. Should the school be responsible for doing that? Is the school absorbing? I feel like the school district would be absorbing the liability of the teachers choosing to be armed. But if you're going to do that, let's recognize what the tool is. A firearm designed by its inherent nature to take life, which I have heard so many people avoid talking about guns and what they are designed to do. They are designed to take life. And people say no, not they're designed to protect life. Yes, by the threat of their use. Right. If you point a gun at somebody and you tell them to stop what it is that they're doing. Why? Because they're afraid you're going to take their life? Not because they're afraid a stream of water or a balloon is going to come out of that thing and scare them. It doesn't make the position on firearms any weaker to admit and acknowledge what they are designed for. I just think that when you do that, it'll raise a different level of responsibility. And I mean that from if you're going to carry it in a professional setting. Law enforcement officers, I can't speak us wide on the standards that are required for them to carry. I know they, they achieve those standards inside of their training academy, but there is Training associated with that. I think an argument could be made that it is insufficient both in time and volume. But that's for the departments to solve. But they still have that training requirement. I feel like if teachers are going to arm themselves, it should be more than just going home into their safe and grabbing their favorite firearm. It's called a pistol. In this case, throwing it on their hip and then hoping to be a game time player if something were to happen. Let's just make sure that if you're going to do that, there is a threshold for training currency and competency. And I'm not saying it has to be insane. We don't have to have teachers go into the range every Wednesday from 5 to 9pm Even though that'd be awesome. If they wanted to dedicate themselves to that, they'd be even more capable of protecting their students. But I don't know. A monthly accuracy call, a quarterly, quarterly call. The argument can be had for as long as you want to on what quals there should be. I just think there should be a standard because of how powerful these tools are. Could they stop somebody who came there to harm children? Absolutely. Could they create some accidental and incidental harm along the way, especially if the person was not trained, current and competent? Yes, they could. And I guess that's the balance with that. Where do I fall on the topic of civilians providing their own security in churches, schools and businesses? So first and foremost, I'm not a legal expert, but some good advice that I've received over my life is to make sure that you follow the laws that are currently in place. So before anybody goes out there and decides to be John Wayne, which I'm not against. Again, if you, if you have skills with a firearm and you are not legally prohibited from buying one or possessing one or where I like, I live in Montana, it is a shall issue constitutional carry state and you have the ability to do so go to town. But there are still laws associated with where you can carry and when you can carry. A good example in Montana, I bet this is true of almost every state, is the combination of alcohol consumption and carrying your firearm. You cannot go into a bar and get hammered carrying your firearm on you. Which shouldn't really surprise anyone because that seems like a really good idea that you don't do that. So make sure you know the laws. Make sure you know where you are prohibited from carrying your firearm. Now there's going to be plenty of people who say, yeah, well gun free zones are the most dangerous place to be because criminals don't follow the law. And I'm going to agree with you on that one. Criminals don't follow the law. I'm just here to tell you I'm not giving you legal advice. I'm saying know where the law is and where the limits are. So if you make the personal choice, which I am not advocating to go beyond that point, you at least understand the potential complications that you are getting yourself into. You're going to need to live your life the way you want to live your life and make the choices that you want to make. Sure you know where the guardrails are. I have hopped over many a guardrail in my life, but I at least knew where they were and I knew what I was when I was exposed to a higher level of legal risk associated with that. I'm a huge fan baseline of being your own first responder, being able to. To handle a crisis for as long as it takes to a higher level of care to arrive and help. Said this many times on the show. 30 minutes depending on where you live here in the Flathead Valley, if you get out to the fringes of it a little bit, you're going to hear the sirens long time before they show up to help you. Now, big urban centers, probably a different story, but three minutes can be a really long time if you are not equipped to deal with the situation at hand. Now, there's two ways to go with this. There are some people who are against guns and their existence. And I support people's feelings on that. I was going to say decision to feel that way. I don't think for them it's actually a decision. It's just the way they feel and what they believe. But what I'll say is this, and I've said this many times too, you're way more likely to need to stop bleeding than create a wound that expresses itself through bleeding. So you're gonna need to. You're gonna probably need to plug up holes as opposed to create holes in somebody. That's what the math statistics show. So even those people who are completely against carrying a firearm, that does not absolve you, in my opinion, at least from your responsibility to be as prepared as humanly possible. If I was against carrying firearms for whatever reason, I would be so good at trauma first aid medicine, which is probably gonna help you out way more times in your life than a firearm is. I've said this before. I've been first responder on two car accidents. Not by choice, but that's the way that it went. It's really nice to not only have the tools that you need, but also to know how to use them. So if you don't like the firearm aspect, be there to be able to help somebody. If you find yourself in the jaws of this type of shark, if you're on the firearm side and you realize that three minutes can be a really long time and you realize that who, somebody who comes in anywhere with the intent on victimizing other people with a firearm, who wants to kill innocent people with a firearm, Whether it's due to insanity or an ideological belief that doesn't align with those in whatever building, place, whatever it may be, if you realize that the only way to stop that is with another firearm, because yelling at somebody with a gun is not going to change their mind in that moment, then what I would tell you is again, go back to understanding what the law is, but do everything you can to be the most capable protector that you can be. You need to be able to fight your way through until a higher level of care arrives. People, oh, how long is three minutes? I tell you what, if you've never been in a physical altercation, this, I see this all the time at Jiu Jitsu you get people who have never rolled before. They've been through the foundation program and they do their first roll, and under three minutes, they are breathing harder than they've ever breathed. Their hands don't work because they're completely gripped out. I've seen people vomit. It is wild. And these people, by the way, have been learning the mechanics of Jiu Jitsu for a couple months at this point. Three minutes is a lot longer than you think it is, is what I'm trying to say. On the receiving end of a gunfight where you can't shoot back because you don't have one, it is even longer than that, and I hate that for people. But not everybody should carry a gun. Possession of a gun just on your body, absent expertise, absent training, absent currency, absent a flashlight. For all of you people out there who don't realize that half of every day is at night and sometimes inside of buildings, it can be much darker inside than outside. And you need to be able to see your iron sights or your optic, whatever it may be, put a flashlight on your pistol if you want, or carry a flashlight with if you want. If you like having two different pieces of gear, whatever it is, just having a gun doesn't solve problems. You might get lucky for sure. But if you come into a gun related problem, a gun related issue, the more training you have the better, the more currency you have, the better, the more competency you have, the better. And you need to dial all those things to as close to a 10 as possible and keep them there. Same thing with the medical skills as well. Both perishable quals. So in general I am a fan of this, but I don't believe that guns are magic. So possessing a gun without even having an understanding of how to really use it is not as helpful as people would think. I would also add a layer to this, understand and have thought through your threshold between pulling out a gun and using it and not crazy person standing on the side of the road yelling at you, do you need to pull a gun out? I would say, well, again, I'm not even gonna say yes or no. I'm gonna say think through the legal complications, think of the defense in court that you are gonna be required of if you do pull a gun out of that situation and use it. It's a lot easier to justify self defense when somebody is assaulting you with a weapon, a knife or a gun in and of itself that I would say, you know, a jury in front of 12 of your peers, you're probably going to be okay. But that's just one of the many situations that can present themselves. I would spend some time knowing exactly where your line in the sand is because again, you don't want to have to figure that out in the moment either. I know, I mean, might be a little bit, a little bit crazy. Jury's probably still a little bit out. I have thought my way through a substantial amount of situations that I may encounter in my everyday life and almost all of them, by the way, terminate in me walking away or running away. I'm not looking to get into a gunfight. No, thank you. Hard pass, had my fair share, lost a few, not interested. It for me and I'm not going to sit here and go through every one of those scenarios. But for me, my go, no go line in the sand, it takes a lot to get there. But once it's there, I feel sorry for the person that's on the other end of that. But for me to get to that point, I am going to exhaust every other option, reasonably will escalate force as the other person escalates or as their behavior determines. But yeah, most of the time I'm heading the other direction. I have no desire to be involved in that because I understand the risk not only to life limit eyesight, but legal as well. And nobody wants that smoke. Even justified shootings who never, I'VE never sat up in a a witness box. But I tell you what, you get a good lawyer coming after you, and that would be probably not as stressful as the shooting itself, but man, that would. That would suck. Think your way through it largely fully supportive. Follow the law. If you're going to carry a gun, train with it. And if you feel like you're getting to a place where you're not curt incompetent, I would consider putting it in a safe until you find your way back to that spot. Just my two cents. Next question. All right, last one for today. This one is has been super impactful in my life, so I'll unpack it here a little bit. Lately I keep coming back to the topic you brought up a while ago about keeping your world small as a way to manage over to manage being overwhelmed and push back against the nature, their natural urge to quit. It is such a simple phrase, but the concept carries profound weight. I would agree it has had profound impact in my life. There are days when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping, yet someone may still be walking through their own personal darkness. In my experience, at the deepest point of that darkness is a presence I can only describe as hopelessness. When hope disappears, quitting can feel like the only rational choice. It's easy to post slogans, share memes, or keep up a public bravado, but these feelings creep in and in fact, even the strongest among us there's probably never been a truer statement ever written. I don't care who you are. You're gonna have moments in the shade, and you're gonna have moments in the sun. Hopefully people have more moments in the sun than in the shade. But do not think there is anybody out there who is not struggling, at least at some point in time in their life life. Nobody knows what's going on in somebody else's skin suit where they're walking around because we can't switch places with people. And it is so easy to think that we are the only ones dealing with something. And that is so insidious over time. Back to the email. Hearing you say that there were days when simply brushing your teeth was a victory really drove home how real and heavy those moments can be, even for people who have been tested, hardened, and trained to endure adversity at the highest levels. I'm not sure any of that applies to me. I was just too dumb to quit it. Sometimes the world feels like it's spinning out of control, which creates fertile ground for the darkness to grow I genuinely, or I've genuinely appreciated the podcast you recorded in response to Charlie Kirk's assassination, along with the positive messages you've been sharing on your social channels lately. Yeah, if you're not tuning in, yesterday's was about the ween. It's not a big deal. He's really. I don't think I captured him very well on camera because he's so fast. I don't think there's a camera designed with a shutter speed that can really get him, but I assure you, he's there. He does. He zips by from time to time. But the topic was, what do you do in life when the world gives you a small wiener? Because he's. He's tiny. He's tiny, but he's fierce. Tiny bit fierce. Also, Evan Hair shares those qualities. Tiny bit fierce. He's a little bit taller than Javelin, though. I benefited more than you know from having those words tumble around in my head when I thought I'd reached the lim or reached my limit and quit feeling like. Or quit. Felt like quitting, man, this good thing is the last question for today. The ability to read is leaving me. I've benefited more than you know from having these words tumble around in my head when I thought I'd reach my limit and quitting felt like the only option. I'm sure many in your audience would benefit from adding that lesson to their personal toolbox. I'm hoping you might take some time to dive deep a bit on what keeping your world small actually means. It's lessons in the framework you use to apply it effectively. So this concept, man, has likely been the most impactful concept that I've been exposed to in my life. It has helped me get through the hardest times in my life or the most complicated times in my life. And that's in a professional setting and actually in a tactical setting. Because I would say for both of those in personal setting as well, too, I'd say for all of those, becoming overwhelmed is your enemy. And as this person laid out in the email, you become overwhelmed. You can become hopeless. You feel like options are gone, and then quitting becomes the course of action that starts singing you a lullaby. And I wish there was some magic to this concept of keeping your world small. Let me say this, it doesn't make anything any easier. What I think is it makes things more tolerable. If there is work that has to be done, you will still have to put in the total volume of work required to get the job done. But there are ways that you can Refocus how you think about complex tasks or large tasks or tasks that require an excessive amount of steps or long term goals where you don't become overwhelmed by the totality of what is sitting in front of you. And it is as simple as keeping your world small. What I'm saying is that if you feel as if you are being crushed by the way. I was gonna say the crushed by the weight of a boulder. We'll get back to that one. Let's say you are starting at the bottom of a mountain and you look up and the mountain is actually for some reason made out of soft sand, which is impossible by the way. You could have a little hill made out of soft sand. I don't think you're ever gonna get a mountain. But you have to climb this thing and every time you take a step, you watch yourself get closer, but then you slide back a little bit and it is just exhausting because the more effort you put in, what you want to see is a quicker reward. But you barely see yourself getting closer to your goal. And what happens to most people in these moments, they focus where they are. They focus specifically on where they are and the distance they have left to achieve whatever it is their goal is. They become overwhelmed, they become hopeless, to use the words of the person who sent the email in. And then the most likely thing that's going to happen is they quit. There are ways that you can reframe this. When I had Rich Devini on, I believe he called it shifting your horizons. An example. And obviously that's a fake situation of walking up a mountain like that. But I'll give you some real ones in that situation though. What I'm talking about keeping your world small is you stop looking up the mountain and you start just focusing on the next step that you have to take. Because yes, even though with every step you're going to slide down the mountain a little bit, you're still making forward progress. And that's actually all that matters. The momentum of the forward progress is all that matters. It might be an inch, it might be a millimeter, it might be a foot, who cares? Because an inch, a millimeter and a foot, if you keep stacking those up, time over time, over time, over time, it doesn't matter how tall the mountain is, at some point in time you will achieve the summit. But first you'll hit the false summit, which every mountain has, which will crush you emotionally. And that's a tough one too. But what's the key to that? Put your head back down and focus on your next step. Small, consistent steps, keeping your world as small as possible. Some people can focus on the next six steps. Some people cannot do that. So maybe three, maybe one. That's all that matters. You have to pick something that is digestible enough that it allows you to build momentum. And then you build a microscopic piece of momentum off of that, you know? CrossFit workouts, a classic. What would it be? Couplet Fran 21, 15, nine of thrusters and pull ups. You can count from one to 21. You could count down from 21 down to one. You could cut it up into sevens. You could cut the 15s into 5, the nines into threes. You can play all these different games with your brain. And I would recommend people, if you're in that world, play with that. And you're going to realize there are ways to look at things that make them seem to be harder, even though it's the same volume of work. And there are ways that you can look at things that make them seem a little bit easier. And I find for me, in my life, the more digestible, the easier in air quotes it becomes. Again, this is not a substitute for doing work. Nothing will substitute from doing work. So if there is a requisite amount of work that has to be done, pack a lunch, you're going to have to do that. It may be a dinner, and maybe it's a go meal too, depending on how micro these steps are. But it doesn't matter. As long as you don't give up, you're going to get there. So I can't provide a template for everybody on this other than to say, whatever it is. Hold on, I'll give you an example. This is a bunch of paperwork I'm going through right now. Highlighting stuff, leaflet after leaflet after a little collection after a little collection, after little collection. I don't want to do it. This, to me, is hours worth of work. And when I sit down at a table and I look at this, I think to myself, why am I doing this? I don't want to do this. Do I have hours? This is going to take forever. That is not the headspace that I'm talking about. That is not keeping your world small. That would be looking at this project in its totality. Instead, what I do, what I literally did and have been doing for the last few days, is I go like this. Okay, I got one. I'm gonna do this one. And all I'm gonna focus on is this one. And when I'm done with this, One, I'm gonna put it to the side. And what's waiting for me, another one. And what's waiting for me after that, another one. But I don't think about any of those things. I just take the page that I'm on and I do the work that I need to do. And these are double sided. So instead of thinking, oh man, this is like, I got six pieces of paper that are each double sided. That's 12 pieces of paper. All this work, I gotta write this stuff down. What if I made a mistake? Now, one page at a time, then I flip it over and this pile actually is done. And there's another pile off camera that is also done. But don't worry, I'm printing out a third pile that I have to work my way through. And I keep the same process a little bit at a time, focusing on the success that I am having, the movement that I am making towards the end state of this being accomplished, with which then I can do something with it. And before you know it, without ever thinking a single time about how much I have left to do, I'm done. And then guess what you get to do? Repeat the process all over again with whatever's going on in your life. This, for me, paperwork sucks. So I definitely keep my world small. Other things, they don't suck at all. I can keep my world as big as I want to. And that's the beauty of it. This is a dial. When things get hard, dial it in. When they're easier, dial it out. It's totally up to you. There's no right or wrong answer. How do you eat a whale or an elephant? Single bite at a time. How much is a bite? I don't know. You tell me. I don't know how big your mouth is, so that's the best that I can do. It's literally keeping your world small. Now, when it comes to life goals and things you're trying to accomplish, lift your head up from time to time just to make sure you're still oriented. You're like, oops, maybe I need to go 10 degrees to the left. Or oops, I need to go 10 degrees to the right. So don't, like, live in the trenches. Make sure the trench is leading you in the right direction. But I'd say start at like a 90, 10, 80, 20. Being head down the bigger number, head up the smaller number. The single most impactful tool, it has allowed me to deconstruct very arduous, complicated things by tackling Only the next 6 inches in front of my face where my foot needs to land. And I think it can have that impact for everybody else, too. But again, it is not magic. It does not do the work for you. It just makes it more palatable. And that's all I have for this Friday.
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Hi, I'm Chris Gethard and I'm very excited to tell you about Beautiful Anonymous, a podcast where I talk to random people on the phone. I tweet out a phone number. Thousands of people try to call you. Talk to one of them. They stay anonymous. I can't hang up. That's all the rules. I never know what's gonna happen. We get serious ones. I've talked with meth dealers on their way to prison. I've talked to people who survived mass shootings. Crazy funny ones. I talked to a guy with a goose laugh, somebody who dresses up as a pirate on the weekends. I never know what's gonna happen. It's a great show. Subscribe today. Beautiful Anonymous.