Transcript
A (0:01)
Okay, I got the red smoke. Sun runs north and south west of the smoke. West of the smoke. Okay, copy. West of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Oh, wait a minute.
B (0:14)
Give it to me.
A (0:15)
I mean it cleared hot. Coffee cleared hot. Good morning everybody. We are back. I got my coffee, got my sweatshirt which. Okay, here's the opener. I realize I'm wearing the same sweatshirt I wore on last Friday's episode. And that's because I'm super simple person and when I find something I like, I wear the crap out of it. I don't really care about attire, whether it matches vertical lines and horizontal lines for me, completely fine. Wear them however you want to. Maybe pair that with a Hawaiian shirt. It drives my wife absolutely nuts. You could ask Leah. She is. What would be the word? I would say appalled by what I wear, sometimes disgusted. I don't know. I would let her choose, but she's not exactly a huge fan of my fashion sense of which I don't claim to have any. But I am wearing this sweatshirt because you can't see outside, obviously. I'm in northwestern Montana. It's sweatshirt weather. My buddy Dan Hart got me this sweatshirt when we were in Bozeman and it's amazing. So a bunch of people have reached out to me who makes this. This is by a brand called Marine Layer. Normal spelling. I have no association with them whatsoever. If you can find one of these things, I for what the actual name of the SKU is. But they're super comfortable. Like I said, not sponsored by them, not promoted by them. Got it as a gift. Absolutely loving this thing. Another thing I can open with that'll probably help. I see sometimes people in the comments asking where can you submit for a question? Where do I get these questions? Where they come from? The vast majority of the time they are coming straight from my email inbox. What's the email people will ask. Well, it is. Are you ready for this? It's super complicated. Andy stumpf the numbers 21 2mail.com andystumpf212mail.com Some people have said to me that you're crazy to put your email address out there. You're gonna get some messages from crazy people. And you know what? I do, But I also get messages like the one that I'm about to read. I have four questions for today, relatively different topics and it gives me the ability to have a somewhat of a two way conversation. I mean it's certainly, you know, information comes in and I can answer, as I've said many times. On the show. It would be great to have some of these people sitting here so I could ask some clarifying questions because I only have the information sitting in front of me, but that's the easiest way. Andystumpf212mail.com if you're a crazy person or an insane person, please, you know, don't. You don't need to write in, but for everybody else, that's how you do it. Let's kick this off. Let's have a little sip of coffee here. I do iced coffee, even though it's in the morning and it's cold because I can drink it faster and I'm about caffeine delivery more than I am about taste. Today's episode is brought to you by Spartan Forge. Ask yourself this Would it be beneficial to take decades worth of military intelligence and targeting and put it into what I'm gonna call a hunting app? Even though I use it as an aviation app with AI with mapping layers that are hard to find anywhere else? With lidar with animal behavior patterning, with a blue Force tracker type application, the answer is yes. And you can find all of that at Spartan Forge. Let's head over to spartanforge AI right now because honestly, showing you guys this stuff is easier than me trying to describe it. LIDAR and UAV mapping. Do you want to be able to see through the. Not that I was going to say the terrain, but that's not it. Through the foliage or anything that might obscure the terrain that's underneath. Lidar is amazing. I pair that often with slope angle measurement, especially when it comes to flying the helicopter. Deer movement and prediction. This is what I'm talking about. Using all of that targeting data to give you an assessment of the opportunities that you may have in the best locations to have them in app life. Pin sharing. Is this with a hunting group? Is this with an EMS group, a search and rescue group? All of it can be used. Lidar. Here's a great example of two images. The difference here on the left and the right one you can see, I don't know, this looks like a lot of trees and vegetation. The other one, you can actually see trails that are underneath that. Because of how LiDAR works. And what else? Oh, they also have some apparel. I actually really like the Spartan Forge apparel. And right down here, you can download a free version today so you can give this bad boy a try before you commit to it. This thing is amazing. It is the best aviation app not designed for aviation. I will literally use the Foreflight app and put it away and then pop up my Spartan Forge. Keeping track of property lines, permissions, pins, locations, sharing things. It is amazing. Spartanforge AI put technology in your pocket and use it to become the most lethal version of yourself. Back to the show and we're off. Andy, I appreciate the advice you've given to others and the way you cut through the noise with honesty. I'm in a situation I can't quite make sense of anymore. I was hoping to get your take on whether it's time to throw in the towel or if there's still a way to pull through. Well, let's see what we can do. Let's see if we can make any sense of this together. When I was eight, my father took his own life and about five years ago my stepdad of over 20 plus years whom stepped in when my father passed away did the same. Both times my family had to pick up the pieces just or, I'm sorry. Within just nine months of my stepfather taking his life, my dog of 12 plus years died and my wife of almost 14 years together left me in early 2021. So yeah, Covid sucked. I don't like to think of my life as harder than anyone else's, but these things have stacked up. I've been in and out of mental hospitals, I'm almost 40 now, divorced, with a child, and the relationship with my ex is toxic, to say the least. She's made it clear that if I'm with someone she doesn't approve of, she'll take me for child support, and if that happens, I'll lose the ability to support myself and my son at my home. To make things even more complicated, I recently got another woman pregnant. We don't get along, we fight often. She's not considering an abortion, and I don't see us lasting as a couple. I am terrified of how to handle raising a child with her while also knowing that once my ex finds out, she'll come after me for support too. Please don't let yourself or your listeners think I'm blaming either of these women. And that's coming from someone who is still waiting or who is still on the waiting list for your hopefully upcoming New York Times bestseller, Extremely Limited Ownership. Which is a joke, by the way. A playoff of Jocko and Leif's book Extreme Ownership. I made these jokes to their face. I might be able to get them as a ghostwriter. Maybe Jocko would write the forward. Hard to say up until this point. It's still a joke. Maybe one day I'll write it Even I will take responsibility for the situations I put myself in now. But given all of this, I don't know if I should keep trying to fight through it or accept. Accept that I'm in over my head. I'd really appreciate any perspective you have. And just so you know, if this email sounds thoughtful and accountable, I am taking extreme ownership. If it sounds like a mess, I'm blaming AI and taking extremely limited ownership. Oh, that's right. I forgot in the subject line he. You said you asked AI to help you write this, which I guess is a. I guess that's an approach and it's something that a lot of people can use these days. But for something like this, when you're writing about your life to the best of your ability, man, just, just fire away. One of the last sentences here. Given all of this, I don't know if I should keep trying to fight through it or accept that I'm in over my head. What does that even mean? What are you even trying to say in that sentence? Are you trying to say in a roundabout way that you're considering taking the path that your father and your father in law chose? Because if you're even thinking about that, maybe just take a moment to reflect on the impact that their actions and their choices had on, on you and everybody else in their family and maybe just sit with that for a bit before you. Ma', am, you probably didn't mean to do this, but flippantly throw out there, accept that I'm in over my head. Let's say you are in over your head. Because right now, honestly, in this situation, it sounds like you have a lot. And you might be in over your head in this moment, which happens to all of us at points in our life, but who cares? That's not permission for you to just give up. You have a child and another child on the way. So yeah, you might feel like you're in over your head. So what do you think that that allows you to have poor behavior? Do you think that that allows you to have or to take poor actions or to be selfish and only think about yourself? Because I'm going to tell you right now, your vision is going to improve as soon as you pull your head out of your own ass. It's really limited with what you can see when your head's that far up. I don't care if you're over your head or feeling great. You have at a minimum two other people. I'm counting the two. One child and one unborn child that you are Obligated and responsible for. Now, for a second here, I want to talk, I want to go back to talking about your father and your father in law. The statistics on this are, are wild. The child of somebody who commits suicide is statistically so much more likely to make that decision themselves. And I have said this so many times and this is still the place that I land. I, I understand that it's an irrational choice that becomes a rational thought and choice in the moment. I do understand how people can arrive there. I've never experienced that myself. I'm not saying it makes sense, but I do understand that process. So it might seem irrational to me and everybody else. The people that we're talking about arrive in this situation and to them it is the only rational, reasonable, less painful option. But everybody else around that situation, to use your own words in this email, is left picking up the pieces. Why would you want to leave anybody else in that situation? Why would you want to repeat what the consequences were of what your father did to you and your stepfather? If this is even something that you are considering or realistically thinking about, you need to immediately engage a mental health professional. If you even go onto Google and you start peripherally looking around at things that the Internet would consider to be thoughts or ideations about taking your own life or harming yourself. What you're going to start seeing in the results are phone numbers in places that you can contact to talk to somebody. Why are those there? They're there for your protection. They're there for your help. They're there because engaging with these people and entities can actually help and it can prevent you or interrupt that cycle of going from irrational thought and behavior that becoming something that is what remains to be seen to that individual as the only reasonable option. If you have to at a baseline, utilize that. If you are not at that place, dude, instantaneously, the first thing that you need to do is take care of yourself. And you also need to find somebody that is going to hold you accountable other than a random person on the Internet. Because this I'm over my head is irritating to me. Not like I'm not irritated at you as a person. I am irritated at the headspace, not your headspace, but the headspace that people can arrive at. And I am as guilty of this as anybody else. Where because you think you're in over your head, that you give yourself permission to give up, it's bullshit. It's a lie that we tell ourself. It's an excuse at best and you are letting down Everybody that you are responsible for taking care of. And oh, by the way, if you're going to think with your little head and develop two children that come into the world, you have surrendered your right, you have surrendered your ability to think of yourself as the most important person in the world until you launch those kids out into the world and for the rest of their lives. That is the way that it works, at least in my opinion. So if you want to allow your decision making to occur below the waist for short periods of time, well, guess what? Regardless of how hard it is above the neck, where the real decisions should be made, you don't get to give up. You don't get to throw in the towel if you feel like you're in over your head or you're underwater, guess what, motherfucker? Time to learn how to swim a little bit better. So let's dive into this here just a little bit more. Understand, you're divorced, you have a child. What I don't understand, and I can only speak about this through my own experience of going through divorce. So my n is 1, when I went through that process, we signed paperwork at the end of that process that had boundaries on monetary support, timeline, parental, what would it be? Custody, parental visitation, all of those things. It was very concrete. It was black and white. And at no point in that, once we signed that documentation and we were done, we regardless if my ex wife approved or disapproved, hated or loved the person that I may choose to be with after that, they had no ability to re enter back into those agreements or re enter back into those conversations and try to come after me because of something that upsets them. So I don't know what state you're in, but I feel like that threat from your ex, or I hope that that threat from your ex is actually quite empty. You said you're divorced, so I'm assuming that that is in fact handled. And maybe though you guys did this yourself, maybe you did through mediation, whatever it may be, maybe you left the child support aspect out of this because again, I'm not an expert. But if you did and they have the ability to reengage, that's a different story. But there's still even in that it's not an unlimited upside. I mean, they can't ask you, I guess they could ask you for like, you know, I want $5 million a year. @ the end of the day, oftentimes this is going to end up going to court and you sit in front of a judge and the judge is going to make a realistic decision, use that term in air quotes because I've heard horror stories but I've also heard amazingly fair decisions as well from both male and female judges in, you know, so in air quotes they're going to make a reasonable decision based off of your monetary situation, both yours and your ex. So she may be able to come after you for child support. But here's another thought as well.