Cleared Hot – Full Auto Friday (11/21/2025)

Host: Andy Stumpf

Episode Theme: Navigating Integrity, Growth, and Tough Choices

Andy fields listener Q&A, offering brutally honest and empathetic takes on public controversies, new careers, parenting transitions, and family dilemmas. At the heart of the discussion is a call for personal integrity and deliberate, uncomfortable growth—even (or especially) when it’s hard.

Episode Overview

Andy Stumpf delivers another candid Full Auto Friday, responding to listener questions about:

• The Rob O’Neill lawsuit and the cascading effects on the veteran community
• Self-doubt and advice for new police officers
• Guiding boys to manhood as a parent
• Holding an adult child accountable after repeated failures

The episode is characterized by Andy’s signature directness, humility, and focus on personal and communal responsibility. Along the way, Andy shares war stories, hard-earned wisdom, and reminders that discomfort fuels growth.

Key Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. Rob O'Neill Lawsuit & Truth in the Veteran Community

[00:01 – 15:00]

• Background: Andy addresses a listener’s question about the high-profile lawsuit filed by Rob O’Neill (publicly known as the SEAL who claims to have killed Osama bin Laden) against Brent Tucker, host of the Tier One podcast, for alleged defamation ($25 million).

• Andy’s Stance:

  • Andy’s understanding is limited and secondhand:

    "I wasn't there. I wasn't on target. I was in the military… but I did know, and do know, other people… and what they have told me has been in private, not in public… their version, what they witnessed, what they experienced, does not align with Rob's story." ([~05:00])

  • He reiterates he doesn’t know the truth and, honestly, doesn’t care about who pulled the trigger:

    "I don't care who killed Osama bin Laden. I care that it happened. I'm glad that the dude no longer is consuming oxygen, but that's kind of the limit for me." ([~07:21])

  • Main concern: The effect of public disputes on the reputation and trustworthiness of the entire veteran community.

    "What is unsettling to me... my concern is exactly the same. It erodes the integrity and validity of all veterans." ([~09:00])

  • Lawsuits like this muddy the waters for the public:

    "How do I know who to trust? And that's a tough one to answer, especially when there are public situations like this that are blowing up in people's faces..." ([~09:45])

• Integrity Above All:

  • Andy is clear that everyone has the right to do what they wish with their experiences—until they cross into untruth:

    “If you start taking your experiences and you deviate from the truth, I have a problem, and I don’t have a problem with you being held accountable for that… you wrote that check, now you get to cash it.” ([~12:00])

• Veterans Policing Veterans:

  • He responds to the refrain “veterans attacking veterans must end”:

    "Who else has the experience, the knowledge and ability to check the veteran community other than veterans? So you can't have your cake and eat it too on this one... If you want to see vets stop coming after other vets, then stop lying about the stuff you did or didn't do, because that removes the motivation to do that." ([~14:00])

Notable Quotes

• “The lawsuit, to a degree, I don’t understand it because it’s civil, not criminal to my understanding. But a lawsuit cuts in two directions.”
• “Nothing good comes from it. If I was a betting man... I'll put a dollar on the fact it never goes to court.” ([~14:30])

2. Navigating Early-Career Doubt as a New Police Officer

[18:00 – 38:00]

• Listener’s Question:
  A newly graduated police officer at a small department feels overwhelmed, fears making mistakes, and doubts readiness to work solo, despite positive feedback on de-escalation skills.

• Andy’s Core Message: There’s no shortcut to experience.

  "There's a reason why some of your colleagues seem unfazed by any of the calls... it's because they have more experience than you. They have reps. Experience is something that I have never been able to find a way to short circuit or shortcut." ([~19:30])

• Advice for Building Confidence:

  • Don’t rush decisions unless you must for safety; slow down whenever possible.
  • You don’t need to know everything; master the fundamentals and rely on resources when faced with the unknown.
  • Senior officers were once in your shoes; emulate their patience and composure while giving yourself time.
  • Lean on checklists, databases, and colleagues; law enforcement is more like being a multitool than a scalpel.

• Trunk-and-branches Analogy:

  “Let’s use an analogy… the trunk of the tree as it goes up and then the branches that go out… everybody… understood the trunk of the tree very well… the branches, we'd spend a lot of time training on… the farther you get to the end of the branches… I'm going to need to go slower, because I’m going to need more information. And that’s exactly what I would recommend for you.” ([~33:00])

• Concluding Encouragement:

  "One of these days you will be that officer unknowingly that somebody is looking at, aspiring to be like, because you seem unfazed and you always seem to know what you're doing. Remember that as you age in this career..." ([~38:00])

3. Guidance on Transitioning from Boyhood to Manhood (Parenting Question)

[41:00 – 57:00]

• Listener’s Situation:
  Their oldest son turned 10, and they wonder how to guide the transition to manhood; what would Andy do differently?

• Andy’s Perspective on Manhood:

  • Not about age or legality; it’s about character:

    “I don't think manhood is actually based on age or a state issued piece of identification card. I think it is who you become; I think it is what you grow and evolve into... when I think of what it means to be a man is that you have your integrity, you have your honor, you tell the truth and you stand up for what you believe to be is right.” ([~45:00])

  • Self-reflection: He’s still striving and learning daily.

    “At what age do I feel like I became that person? ...I'm still every day fighting and struggling to do my best to become that person.” ([~46:30])

• Parenting Principles:

  • Support children’s interests, not prescriptive ideas of success.
  • Encourage open dialogue, especially around mistakes and uncomfortable topics.
  • Model vulnerability and self-accountability; own your mistakes and let kids learn from your humanness:

    “When you make a mistake as a parent, don't pretend that it didn't happen. ... Own it, acknowledge it, and address the fact that you fell short of what it is that you wanted to be. And talk about it.” ([~53:00])

  • Be present and minimize distractions; value quality time.
  • Recognize parental imperfection and grant yourself grace.

Memorable Quote

• “Think about your own parents. Did they always live up to the example of what you thought of them? ... At some point you realize they are their own individual with their own battles, struggling to do the best that they can.” ([~56:20])

4. Holding an Entitled Adult Child Accountable

[57:00 – End]

• Listener’s Dilemma:
  A 25-year-old stepson was discharged from the Army for substance abuse, repeatedly fails to find work or follow house rules, is disruptive, and manipulates the situation to avoid accountability. After repeated chances, the family is preparing to evict him but anticipates resistance and guilt tactics.

• Andy’s Hardline, Compassionate Response:

  • Direct advice:

    “Let me give you the shortest, easiest answer that's going to be the hardest to digest. ... If you change nothing, nothing is going to change. ... You know what you need to do.” ([~58:30])

  • On setting and keeping boundaries:

    “If you want your word to mean anything in the future, if you want the boundaries that you set to mean anything going forward, you have to hold them. And that sucks.” ([~59:10])

  • Tough love is sometimes the right love:

    “Hold him accountable for his actions... do I want anybody to be booted out of their house and away from their family over Christmas? No. Do I want this person to be better? ...Yes, I do.” ([~1:00:00])

  • Enabling only perpetuates the problem. Even if it’s painful in the short-term, the step-son needs to encounter real-world consequences:

    “As long as they are living in your house under rules that you are unwilling to enforce... that isn’t going to happen. And that’s just going to suck for both of you. But at the end of this, both parties will be better for it.” ([~1:03:00])

Standout Quote

• “You actually have to take action. Is that incredibly easy to say and immensely difficult to live? Absolutely. Especially since I'm not the one who has to take these actions. But imagine your response. Let's flip this — you have a friend in your life that is in this situation... what would your advice be to them?” ([~58:50])

Notable Quotes (Speaker & Timestamp)

• Andy Stumpf on truth and accountability:

  "If you start taking your experiences and you deviate from the truth, I have a problem, and I don't have a problem at all with you being held accountable for that. ...You wrote that check, now you get to cash it." (12:05)

• Andy Stumpf on learning in dangerous new jobs:

  "Experience is something that I have never been able to find a way to short-circuit or shortcut and I actually don't think you should try to do either of those things." (19:50)

• Andy Stumpf on manhood:

  "To me, when I think of what it means to be a man is that you have your integrity, you have your honor, you tell the truth and you stand up for what you believe to be is right." (45:15)

• Andy Stumpf on boundaries in family:

  "If you change nothing, nothing is going to change." (58:35)

• Andy Stumpf on making hard decisions as a parent:

  "You need to take that action on the 17th. And then this is the hard part. You need to hold your ground. ... At the end of this, both parties will be better for it." (1:03:00)

Memorable Moments

• The “popcorn” analogy for public scandals:

  "This is more of a popcorn thing for me. Meaning, I'm going to pop some popcorn and sit on the sidelines and not want to watch this movie at all. But I'm going to because I guess I'm at least a little bit peripherally attached..." (14:45)

• Trunk-and-branches analogy for learning on the job:
  Andy details mastery of “core competencies” and relying on reference and teamwork for the outlier cases ([~33:00]).

• Brutal honesty on parenting imperfection:

  "I have treated people poorly, I have made decisions that I wish I hadn't made. ... I'm not thankful that I did those things, but I guess I'm thankful that they have provided me the lessons..." (46:50)

Conclusion

Andy brings together experience, empathy, and unwavering integrity, urging listeners to embrace discomfort and growth. Whether dissecting national controversies or tough family love, his advice centers on truth, boundaries, and self-reflection:

“Be the best version that you can, but also give yourself a little bit of space to realize that you're not perfect either and you never will be.” (56:55)

This summary captures the heart and mind of Full Auto Friday for 11/21/2025: unfiltered wisdom, personal challenge, and the kind of advice you might not want, but probably need.