Cleared Hot – Full Auto Friday – November 7, 2025

Host: Andy Stumpf
Episode Theme:
Andy tackles listener questions ranging from tactical gear realities to personal challenges in work, relationships, and family. He shares his own experiences and hard-earned advice with humor, candor, and empathy, touching on authenticity, self-advocacy, and the trials of parenthood.

1. Suppressors on Pistols – Hollywood or Real World?

[00:03 – 16:30]

• Listener Question: Are suppressors on pistols actually used in real military operations, or is this just a Hollywood trope?
• Andy’s Answer:
  • He only carries personal experience (and the stories of peers), and by the end of his combat deployments stopped carrying a pistol entirely. The practical benefit didn’t outweigh the burden: “If you’re dropping people at 100 yards with a pistol, congratulations to you, sir or madame." [00:05]
  • Suppressor use on pistols does have real applications—primarily when “you want a really, really quiet weapon,” often for specific cases such as silencing animals that could give away your position (geese being a surprisingly good “alarm system").
  • Suppressors make pistols long, bulky, and less practical. Most real-world military settings favor compactness and utility over Hollywood-style, ultra-quiet weapons:
    • “Ounces become pounds, and if you’re in a job where—everything is from the waistline and up. …If you can shave ounces, which is going to terminate in you shaving pounds, more likely than not, that’s what people are going to do.” [00:13]
  • Only heard of one actual secondary weapon transition—Mike Day, who used his sidearm after being shot 27 (!) times. Andy notes it’s an extreme rarity.
  • Hollywood gets it wrong:
    • “I wish suppressors were as quiet as they are in the movies. They are not. …It’s still pretty loud.” [00:16]
    • The evolution for real operators is “cutting things away,” streamlining, and minimizing weight.

Notable Quote:

"I wish, I actually wish almost everything that looks so utterly cool in movies or TV... was that cool in real life. It's not." —Andy [~00:17]

2. Work Anxiety, Weed, and Self-Advocacy

[16:31 – 36:55]

• Listener Question: A 23-year-old, dissatisfied in a small-town, single-car household, feels trapped in an understaffed job and is struggling with anxiety. Uses weed on weekends but is feeling drawn to escape more often.
• Andy’s Answer:
  • On weed and coping behaviors: Andy is neutral on adult choices if they aren't abusive:
    • “I support however people want to live their life. …As long as you are not abusing other people…and living your best, most fulfilled life—who am I to tell you how to live?" [00:19]
  • Encourages honest self-evaluation: Is weed a true “mental peace” or just an escape?
    • Substances can create temporary reprieve, but “it’s not dealing with any of the problem.” [00:20]
    • Suggests adding a physical outlet—working out, jiu-jitsu, even birdwatching (with a wry story about his dad)—as the first step in managing stress and improving resilience.
  • On job stress and self-advocacy:
    • If you're doing the work of three people, document the impact (both professional and personal) and have a conversation with your immediate supervisor.
    • Approach your boss with the problem and solutions:
      • “If I had an employee that came to me like this and actually expressed these things, I would try to figure out a solution.” [00:28]
    • Offer suggestions: better pay, more staff, flexible schedules, or a company vehicle (given the one-car issue).
    • Be clear about the effect of workplace stress on your life; you’ll get to see what kind of organization you’re really working for.
  • Ultimately, protect yourself:
    • “Nobody can tolerate that forever. …I don’t know of a paycheck worth that over a long period of time.” [00:35]
    • Take care of yourself and advocate for yourself. Provide solutions, but be realistic and follow the chain of command.

Notable Quotes:

“Is smoking the weed only on the weekends actually providing you mental peace, or is it providing you an escape?” —Andy [00:20]
“This is a job, right? This is what you do, it’s not who you are.” —Andy [00:34]

3. Preparing a Spouse for Parenthood (Versus Dog Ownership)

[38:27 – 55:35]

• Listener Question: From a woman with deep childcare experience whose husband (a med school grad) has changed one diaper in his life and thinks parenting won't be harder than managing two dogs. She seeks advice as they plan to have a child.
• Andy’s Answer:
  • “No amount of you trying to describe … what being a parent is going to be like is going to prepare you. Read all the books. …But there will be a point in time—probably multiples—where you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing. And I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be.” [00:40]
  • Save your breath: Let him experience it himself; theory doesn’t substitute for 2 a.m. diaper disasters.
  • Storytime: Relays a vivid “baby diaper explosion” in the doctor’s office—a moment no book will prepare you for.
  • Says that even though her experience is invaluable, the reality of being unable to “give the kid back” changes the game.
  • The challenges only get more complex as kids grow, and there are no perfect answers.
  • For both partners: Be patient, supportive, and flexible. Each will be humbled and grow through the process.
  • Perspective:
    • “There’s nothing I have that is more valuable to me than those kids and those experiences. …You can try to prep all you want, but it’s coming for you anyway.” [00:52]

Memorable Moment:

“Let your husband think that having kids is going to be like having two dogs. …When you get to the limits of the knowledge and your experience, and you sit there in the middle of the night covered in vomit and human excrement, and you ask yourself, what am I supposed to do—it’s coming for you.” —Andy [00:45, 00:54]

4. Marriage at the Breaking Point—Mental Health, Enabling, and Hard Choices

[55:36 – 1:20:40]

• Listener Question: A British veteran in the U.S. is at wits' end supporting his wife through mental health struggles, financial ruin, and family tension. He fears for her safety, doesn’t want to leave, but feels trapped.
• Andy’s Answer:
  • Offers a clear disclaimer: not a counselor, only sharing personal reflections.
  • Highlights a key line from the listener: “I just cannot understand her mindset or actions.” Suggests she may also not understand them, given trauma, postpartum depression, addiction, self-worth issues, and perimenopause:
    • “She may be scared to death of the person that she has become…She may not be able to recognize why she is thinking the way that she is.” [00:58]
  • The laundry list of issues requires professional help:
    • “This to me screams, you need to get a higher level of care involved...Trained professionals…can help her find her way back to the person she wants to be.” [01:01]
  • Andy stresses that the listener cannot “fix” her; the work must come from within and with outside support. “You can’t lose the weight for her…You cannot do that for her.” [01:06]
  • If nothing changes, nothing will change—or it will get worse.
  • Recommends the “direct approach”—honest, gentle, solution-focused conversation, and couples therapy as a possible on-ramp to individual counseling.
  • Hard Reflection: Are you protecting the family, or enabling destructive dynamics?
    • “If you are enabling and allowing this behavior to happen by covering absolutely everything…What example are you setting for your children?” [01:09]
    • Andy shares his own experience: deciding to divorce not only for his own sake but to model healthier relationships for his kids.
  • To the listener: Prepare to consider life changes (downsize, pause school/career ambitions), and be ready for a long road if your partner chooses to seek help. If she refuses, you must still act, for yourself and your children.

Notable Quotes:

“If you don’t change anything…nothing is going to change.” —Andy [01:03]
“My relationship with Leah [his wife] is substantially different than my first marriage. …I believe…that it is a much better example of what I think marriage can be, which is not to say a damn thing negative about my ex. …You have to be prepared to take action.” [01:13]

Overall Tone

Andy’s delivery is direct, occasionally irreverent, empathetic, and always rooted in real-world experience—no sugarcoating, but generous in practical wisdom. He balances tough love with humility, often admitting his own missteps and learning curves.

Memorable Thread Through the Episode:

• Seek discomfort and growth, face hard things, and always move towards honesty—even (especially) when it’s scary.

Key Timestamps by Segment

• [00:03] — Suppressor discussion begins
• [00:16] — “Hollywood vs. Reality” on weapons
• [00:19] — On weed as escape
• [00:28] — Self-advocacy in the workplace
• [00:35] — “Nobody can tolerate that forever”
• [00:38] — Parenting/dogs analogy
• [00:45] — Parenting will humble you
• [00:52] — Value of parenting
• [00:55] — Heaviest question (marital stress/mental health) begins
• [00:58] — “She may not be able to understand herself”
• [01:01] — Get higher level of care
• [01:06] — You can’t do it for them
• [01:09] — What example are you setting for your kids?
• [01:13] — Andy on reflecting, taking action, changing for your family

For More:
Catch Andy’s Monday Cleared Hot episodes for interviews, or send your question for future Full Auto Fridays!