A (0:03)

Okay, I got the red smoke. Sun runs north or south. West of the smoke. West of the smoke. Okay, copy. West of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Oh, wait a minute. Give it to me. I mean it. You're cleared hot coffee. Cleared hot. Well, hello there, everybody. I'm still fighting off a cold that was given to me by, by Michael. I think taking a chapter out of the book yet to be written, extremely limited ownership. Chapter three. I don't know what happened, but it was definitely somebody else's fault. Somebody got me sick, so I'm working my way through it. I got a little beverage in front of me to help soothe the throat. Got four questions for today. Let's just dive in. We started off with a little bit of an easier one. A little lighter maybe. Not easier, lighter. Whimsical in nature, humus for nature, whatever it may be. There's a couple heavy ones in here today, but let's get into it. Question one. I get this question all the time too. Or versions of this. A suppressor on a pistol does not seem like a logical thing that operators or military personnel would carry for any mission, given it nearly doubles the length of the weapon and carrying that would be cumbersome. I could be wrong, but it doesn't have a place in real military operations. Or is it just a Hollywood thing? I will say this. My n is 1. I can only speak from my personal experience and the people that I was around. I stopped carrying a pistol in general by the time I did my last combat deployment because the. It wasn't really that the theater guidance had changed the operations that we were doing and particularly my role in those operations, put the effective range of a pistol, which even for a spectacular pistol shot, is going to be, we'll call it 100 range, 100 yards max. If you're dropping people to 100 yards with a pistol, Congratulations to you, sir or madame. You're better with the pistol than I am. It just. It was extra weight and I honestly would rather have carried food or water. It does have its place, though. It is more of. If I had to put this on a, you know, the scales of justice, this is going to be weighted more. This little cup of coffee is going to be weighted a little bit heavier towards the Hollywood than the real world. However, there are times where you want a really, really quiet weapon as much as this will probably hurt the feelings of animal lovers. And I am an animal lover, and I'm not stoked to. To say this, but sometimes you have to shoot animals Animals are incredible early warning devices. Do you know what's one of the best early warning devices? And it's not a dog, by the way. And I have no data to support this, but I've read this in more than one location. It's geese. Now, I don't know a lot of people who have private geese, which I think, no, yeah, be goose and geese. But apparently they are one of the best early warning creatures to ever exist. I would not want to shoot a goose with a pistol, but if I did, I would want it to be suppressed. But I probably would want it not even to be like a normal military sidearm is going to be a full.45 caliber or 9 millimeter. I'm sure there's a variety of other ones, but for us, the SIG 226 was the most commonly issued handgun. They messed around with Glocks from time to time. But if you were going to do that and you wanted it to be ultra quiet, you would want to get one where you could actually lock the slide in place so you wouldn't even hear the recoil. It wouldn't eject a casing, so you'd have to undo that and rack another round if you were going to take subsequent shots. But you're probably looking at something along the lines, maybe even a.22 if you're really going for silence. Or as silent as you can get. Because even weapons with suppressors and yes, the suppressor in the trademark paperwork is in fact called a silencer. Even though that's not what it does. It doesn't silence anything. It does, in fact, suppress decibels. That's neither here nor there. Today's episode is brought to you by AG1. How many of you out there treat your mornings like a military operation? That's maybe a touch too far. You have a really good routine. It's structured. It's very intentional. I try to put myself in that category. And for the longest time, what I wasn't doing was treating the tail end of my day in exactly that way. And my sleep scores that I get off of, the wearables and the mattress setup that I have, it almost looked like I wasn't taking it very seriously. Almost because I wasn't. So for everybody out there who doesn't have an evening routine to include myself, let's stop doing that. That is where AGZ comes in. Here. It's a nightly drink that helps you wind down and rest up. It is a melatonin free formula with clinically studied herbs, adaptogens and minerals. It helps your body and mind wind down before bed. It optimizes sleep quality during the night and you wake up feeling well rested without the grogginess. I hate that about other sleep aids where you wake up and you feel like a truck hits you in the face. AGZ is also an excellent source of magnesium. Each serving of AGZ delivers 250mg of highly biohazed available magnesium, providing over half of your daily value. So if you're ready to turn down your stress and focus on rest, head to drinkag1.com ClearedHot and you are going to get a free frother with your first purchase of AGZ that is drinkag1.com cleared hot. Let's start taking our evenings seriously as well, just as seriously as our mornings. Back to the show. It's possible but not very likely that it's going to get used. And like I said, if you were going to use a pistol like that, you'd want the smallest one with the ability to lock the slide as quiet as possible. That's the situation that I would likely see it being used in. However, with advancement in weapons like the MP7 which with the suppressor on it, that thing is whisper quiet comparatively to a lot of other rifle caliber rounds, you're probably just going to go with something like that. So ounces become pounds and if you are in a job where you know, we're bipeds, so everything is going to be likely going to be waistline and up. A lot of people went away from the drop holster stuff which would be attached to a belt and then go down to the legs. It gets super irritating to walk with. It pulls on your hips if you have to run, it's stuff is swinging everywhere. So a lot of people went from waistline and up. If you can shave ounces, which is going to terminate in you shaving pounds, more likely than not, that's what people are going to do. I know a lot of people who decided to stop carrying pistols and you don't. I've never seen anybody use one. I know of one instance and that was Mike Day. I wasn't there and this is a story that I heard like 14th hand at this point. But he was shot 27 times. He was in a room. He woke up. I believe his primary weapon was no longer in his hands. So he did actually transition to his secondary and start shooting. Other than that, I am not aware of anybody that has done that. I'm sure there are people who have actually suppressed the sound of animals. And again it sucks to say that, but that is the reality you'd go through. Quiet, as quiet as humanly possible. Now, in Hollywood, there's often this balance between entertainment and accuracy. What is more entertaining, a guy clearing around corners with a pistol, tiptoeing around like he's James Bond? Yeah, that is. I get it, I get that it's more entertaining. But yeah, again, effective range of a pistol at nighttime on night vision goggles. Are there aiming devices that you could attach to a pistol? Oh, yeah. Guess what? It does. Especially if you have a suppressor on there. Anyway, you're adding more weight, it's more top heavy. You're going to need a different holster or way to carry it. Anything you put on a pistol, especially if you're using a Kydex type holster, it's its ability to clamp down on it is what is actually generally holding it in place. There can be locking devices that you can manipulate with your thumb or index finger, but a lot of it is just the actual squeeze. So if you add things to your pistol, you have to have a even larger holster to deal with that as well. And again, ounces becomes pounds. We're starting to add things here. Where you're going to carry that thing. Is it taking up valuable resources and real estate on your kit? Is there something that you could carry that would probably do more good, be more heavily utilized or more likely to actually be utilized? Yes, and that is the balance. Because if I had a picture of me on the very first target that I ever went on versus the very last target, my goodness, they would look completely different. And I would just describe it as streamlined. That's what the evolution was, cutting things away. This is a double stitched or a double layered set of Molle. We're taking a razor blade and literally shaving that stuff off, moving things around until it fit my body perfectly with zero excess weight, because I was the only one carrying that weight. And it can suck over a long period of time. So I get it. It looks good in the movies. I wish suppressors were as quiet as they are in the movies. They are not. If you have heard one, if you've never heard one go off, you may not understand what it is, but it's still pretty loud. If they're using supersonic ammunition and it were to go by you, you're still going to get the same ballistic crack and snap of the round. And if it's subsonic, it's gonna sound a little bit different. But if you're used to hearing it, you actually still end up knowing what it is. So I wish, I actually wish almost everything that looks so utterly cool in movies or TV or you read about it in a book, I wish it was that cool in real life. It's not. It hasn't been in my experience. And that's not to Introducing Family Freedom from T Mobile we'll pay off four phones up to $3200 and give you four free phones, all on America's largest 5G network. Visit t mobile.com freedom up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card typically takes 15 days. Free phone via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement. Example Apple iPhone 16128 gigs $829.99 eligible trade in example iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits and imbalance due if you pay off early or cancel Contact Us Try to diminish the how enjoyable and exciting the job was. I just even myself personally wish it was as exciting as you see on TV because a lot of the times it was really shitty and then you'd have a little bit of awesomeness and then right back to being shitty again. So like I said, I wish I could say that all Hollywood movies were true, but really the only One that is 100% accurate is under Siege. And that's all I have for question number one. Question two Shifting gears. Like I said, getting a little bit more serious and then go to the next one which is a hell of a lot more serious. But let's get through this one. Dear Andy, I hope this finds you in good health. I am in good health. Kind of. I'm a little bit sick, but other than that I'm doing well. Thank you for asking. Longtime listener and first time emailer, I'm emailing because I feel conflicted with my job and anxiety. I am a 23 year old man. I'm in a long term relationship with my girlfriend who is 26 going on three years now and I have been very happy with her and her son who is four. We share one car which limits job opportunities for new jobs because of our work schedules conflicting I feel stuck at my current job. Although a good job with good benefits, I'd say day in and day out, same day after same while being understaffed and underappreciated. So basically it's the same thing day in and day out. You're understaffed and you're underappreciated. I live in a small town with limited job opportunities. The stress from work is affecting my home life. I come home most days still thinking about work. I'm worried about work and stressed about the work I have tomorrow, knowing I'm going to be the only one because we are understaffed. It's only me in my department which is supposed to consist of three people, and I'm still having to complete the work that should be done by those three people. There are not many options at the moment for a new job given the lack of opportunities without taking a massive pay cut and the car situation, my anxiety from work is becoming overwhelming. I do smoke weed recreationally only on the weekends as a way to relax and enjoy some mental peace. I don't drink or use any drugs, but the urge to smoke during the week sometimes is becoming increasingly strong to just give my brain a moment to stop constantly thinking about work. Sorry for the long email. Thank you for reading and taking the time to try to let me see this from a different pair of eyes. Okay, well, let's see if I can provide the ability to do so. Maybe we'll go in reverse here. Said this many times, don't think I'm ever going to change. I support however people want to live their life. If you are of legal age and you want to consume alcohol, make adult decisions around that choice and suffer the consequences, both good and bad, of those decisions. If you want to recreationally use weed and you are an adult and it is legal in the state, city, wherever it is that you may live, go to town, make an adult decision about that and suffer the consequences of doing so, whether they be positive or negative. I am very Switzerland on that approach. As long as you are not abusing other people, specifically children, and living your best, most fulfilled life, who am I to tell you how to live your life? That's not to say that we can't have an open and honest conversation about the pros and cons of things. But I'm not going to tell you how to live or make recreational choices. What I will say is this. Ask yourself objectively if smoking the weed only on the weekends is actually providing you mental peace or is it providing you an escape? And that's not to say one is wrong or right. Let's just be honest about what it is because you're modifying your headspace to get to a place where you're not thinking about your work. I totally understand that now. Is it the healthiest way to do so? Depends probably on your usage, the quantity and the utilization of what you're doing with that time. Is it the most damaging? Probably not. So it's probably not the most useful. But it's also probably not the most damaging as long as you can keep it in check. But what you are already talking about is that the desire to find that headspace because of this building tsunami and crushing weight of the anxiety around your job is leading you to want to lean on that crutch a little bit more. And again, I'll repeat myself. Make an adult decision about how you want to live your life and suffer the consequences of that. What I will say is using a substance, and this is based off my own personal experience through alcohol, using a substance or drinking. And I'll just be very specific about myself drinking because I had a really difficult week and I wanted to unwind or let some steam off or just decompress. Felt good in that moment. Let's say it was a Friday evening, right? You can modify your headspace. You can kind of forget about it a little bit. At least in my own experience, though, when your headspace goes back to being what it was or the chemical, the alcohol in this instance processes itself out of your body. What you're generally left with is a headache, a stomach ache, and still that sense of anxiety. So it creates a space for you that you can ignore it. I think that's probably the most accurate word. And then when that space is gone, it creates a vacuum and then those things come back and on top of it, you don't feel very well. That was my experience with alcohol. At least now with weed, you're probably not going to get that same hangover. But that doesn't necessarily. I'm not advocating for that. I'm just saying pushing out a space and telling yourself that you're escaping my words, not necessarily yours. Just recognize what it is and what it isn't. It's not dealing with any of the problem. It's not creating for yourself a healthy way or approach of dealing with the anxiety. It's just pushing it off a little bit. And I think you're already feeling that it's coming back in anyway, which is making you want to smoke more so you can find that spot again. Make adult decisions on how you want to deal with this. The point in all this is in this email, you only spoke of that one mechanism that you are using to find the escape. My suggestion to you would be, before adding to that, I would find a physical outlet. Now, anybody who follows the show is probably very aware of the physical things that I enjoy doing. I love being outside. I live in a great state for to be able to do that as well. I Enjoy hunting when it is hunting season, which is very short, limited 60 to 90 days depending on what you're going for. I enjoy doing Jiu Jitsu for reasons beyond the martial art itself, but the physical and mental. I don't want to say clarity, but workout that I get in both of those aspects. I, for a long period of time worked for CrossFit and worked out very hard and got that same level of physical and mental relief during those time periods. And before adding smoking more weed to this, my suggestion to you would be to add something physical. What you didn't mention in here is what you're doing to take care of yourself physically because psychologically it feels like you're under a lot of pressure. What do we doing physically to build ourself into the most robust platform possible so we can be able to help tolerate this? I would find a healthier alternative. And you don't have to do jiu jitsu. You don't have to do a spartan race or a tough mudder. Go find a gym, work out hard for an hour, get a good sweat in and focus on. Give yourself just an hour, an hour every day. And whatever it is, whatever activity you choose that speaks to you in that hour, think about that activity. If it's gonna be working out, crush yourself. Don't. If and if you're not used to working out, do me a favor, start slow. Because there's nothing worse than crushing yourself on day one and being paralyzed for the next seven. That's not a really good way to enter into working out if you haven't been. But figure out a way that you can have a very healthy physical outlet and expression. And I think what you're gonna find is that it's going to help you deal with the anxiety and stress of your job. The situation that you're in. Sharing one vehicle. I get it. I have 100% been there. It will limit your options. Maybe sometimes you're just limiting your options by choosing on how you're looking at a situation. I'm sure there are ways where you could solve that issue or the issue you're having with one vehicle. Or there might even be an alternative where, depending on what it is you do and what you make for a living, you could solve the issue by sourcing another vehicle. Have to be high quality and it doesn't have to be high cost. Sometimes you just need to fill a hole so you can drive over the top of it. Now your email is a little bit. It's not incomplete. You sent me what it is that you sent based off, you know, the feedback that you're wanting. I would have some questions if we were here. In a two way conversation, you are expected to complete the work of three people. And my advice to you would be to figure out a way and only you are going to know the tact and approach with which to do this. But if you are one person doing the role of three, that at least leads me to believe that they have the budget for to other people. And the point I'm getting to in this is I would if this company, and I don't even know what it is that you do, but if you are filling the role of three people and they are solely relying upon you and you are feeling this crushing weight and anxiety, I would switching as a, as a business owner, what would I respond the best to from an employee that was in this situation? Or what would I want my employee to do if they were in this situation? I would, this is, and I can only speak for myself again in the way that I believe business should be conducted. I would want this employee to approach me and I would want this employee to be able to describe to me the situation as they see it and have solutions to that situation as well. If I had somebody who was working for me who came up to me and said the anxiety of this job, doing the job of three people and this expectation that I as an individual will be able to always complete the role and the work output of three people is crushing me. It is creating excessive anxiety for me in my personal life. This is bleeding out of my 9 to 5 job and it is having impact in my personal life. And if this continues, I am not going to be able to continue working for this organization or I am going to have to make a change. As an employer, I would want to know that. Now not all employers are the same and some employers might tell you, excuse me, to go pack rocks and say something akin to, yeah, that's great, if you enjoy your paycheck, why don't you just go back and keep doing your job? And that is a response that could just have a little bit of a follow on conversation. And that is, you know, we don't have to have that conversation right now, but that won't be like, why do you want to work for somebody that would treat you like that? If I had an employee that come to me like this and actually express these things, I would try to figure out a solution. Now maybe there are no other job applicants or people who have been applying for the two empty roles but the first thing I would do is acknowledge the fact like, you know what, you are killing it. You are filling the role of three people and you are the only person doing it. There are ways as an employer where maybe I could ease the burden here or help you guys out with schedule. You know, again, not knowing what you do, part of the solution or what you could present as the employee. You could always talk about things like pay. You could, which is not a bad thing. If you are doing the work of three people and getting paid for one. That's a conversation to be had for sure. There is a conversation to be had about bringing somebody in to spread the workload with you and allowing you to elevate yourself a little bit and have this person work for you. So an advancement up this metaphorical ladder while you have the ability to then mentor and teach somebody else. So a little bit of responsibility which could some or should come with a commensurate pay increase. Again, not knowing what type of business that you do, but there are plenty of businesses even where I live that have company vehicles. Maybe you could solve your transportation issue and release a little bit of the burden between you and your girlfriend friend by having a second vehicle that is paid for, gas, insurance, all of those things by the business that you work for. Think about all this stuff and present to your boss reasonable solutions that are not, hey, I want Ford F150 Raptor R Hennessy model truck outside or I'm quitting on Friday. Like, don't you know you can swing for the fences on some stuff, but let's have realistic expectations. I would rather consistently hit doubles and triples than swing for the fence and miss night 99 times out of 100. Especially when you're trying to think of ways to conduct business, talking to your boss or a pitch that you're going to go to somebody with. Be reasonable and also be willing to negotiate. So sometimes you might have to slide a little bit here. Maybe they can't give you a company vehicle, but maybe you could negotiate for a pay increase and having somebody else come into that department. The biggest thing out of this is I would be very clear with your employer the outside effects that this is having on your personal life because nobody can tolerate that forever. And again, I don't know what you do for a living, but you should be able to. I mean, I. What I was about to say is you should be able to leave work at work and when you go home you can focus on being home. But I haven't been able to do that many, many times in my own life. And it's a little bit different now as a business owner because I do spend an immense amount of time thinking about the business. And one of my main things that I think about is are we doing a good enough job to take care of our people? To me, I think we employ not full time, but part time. In totality, about 40 people at the coffee shop. I know what it costs to live here in Kalispell. Is everybody getting the hours that they need? Are we paying people a commensurate pay where they don't have to have four roommates to get an apartment in town? Now, mind you, the job, you know, you're being a barista, probably not going to be able to afford a Porsche 911 and a four bedroom, three bath house, you know, on two acres with a yard. You'll get to that later on in your life. So again, this is where the realistic expectations come in. And I've had these conversations with employees, what they want, what they expect. I've worked here for two months. I want to raise. Okay, explain to me why that you feel that way. I'm not against paying you more money. But you're saying just because you've been here for two months, you should be getting paid more, even though you're doing equal, if not sometimes less than the other people around you who are making the same pay that have been here longer, Right? I'll have these conversations all day long because to me, that's my job. Now, having said that, I have a manager that is in between. There's a balance between being an owner and interfacing direct with the most junior hire. And we have a management staff that handles all of those things. So. And the reason I bring that up is when whoever you're gonna have this conversation with, make sure you follow that chain of command, for lack of a better term, don't jump it and go directly to the owner. Talk to the person who is directly above you, the person that you report to. But nobody will tolerate forever being understaffed and underappreciated. At least if you have the conversation, you're going to be able to judge the response. I don't think you're going to get fired if you're the only person in a department that is supposed to have three people and you're holding it down right now. So you're probably not going to get fired. They may not like your solutions, they may not like your recommendations, they may not like the fact that you actually even voiced anything to them. And that's okay. You're getting some answers to the test. You're getting a chance to flip forward a little bit and actually really determine how long you want to stay in an organization that's going to respond that way to that feedback. Either way, you're gonna have some time. If they change nothing or it gets worse for you, start realistically exploring your options. But don't take off the table. It might get a lot better for you. Cause they might be super receptive. You'd like to believe that owners and managers see everything and know everything. Let me tell you right now, that's 100% not the case. They might be oblivious to what is going on. And they may be oblivious not because they are intentionally doing so, but the person that you work your direct report might actually be in the same situation that you are. This might be an industry wide or a business wide issue that you're dealing with. Who knows? And you won't know until you have that conversation. But I don't want anybody to live in an environment where they are completely maxed out with anxiety, completely maxed out with stress, where they come home from work and all they can do is think about all the work that needs to be done the next day. I don't know of a paycheck worth that over a long period of time. Because you will augur in eventually. And let me tell you right now, if you do, most, most businesses will replace you with a fresh heartbeat and just move on. And I wish that wasn't the case. But I have seen that time and time and time again. So advocate for yourself. Try to find an avenue that isn't recreationally drug based to shed off some of this anxiety. For me personally, if I can get a workout in, I do so much better. And I have found that to be true for the vast majority of people. Not everybody. Maybe you need to go on long walks and download the Merlin app and become a bird watcher. Maybe that's it for you. That's what my dad is doing right now, by the way. That's where that came from. That's my dad's newest side quest. You're welcome. For all of you who think he's a gem on the podcast, this is the shit I have to deal with. And yeah, I need a GPS tracker on him because now he's going places where he doesn't have cell coverage. So Life360 isn't doing it. Elon, I need your help. I need a Starlink associated dog collar for my dad. But that's all I have for this one. Advocate for yourself, take care of yourself. This is a job, right? This is what you do. It's not who you are. But there are options out there when you go and you are going to present how you're feeling, provide solutions as well. They may not take those solutions, but I can tell you as somebody who has been on the receiving end, they will appreciate those solutions. And that's all I have for this question. Today's episode is brought to you by Helix. Still gonna say this, I think every time. This is probably the easiest ad read for me ever because I sleep on one of these mattresses and I have now for the past over. Is it over five years? Wow. It's probably closer to 10 years than it is five at this point. And I just got an email from a listener to the you ordered a Helix mattress. It showed up at their house. They took my advice. They got it into the bedroom before they opened this thing because this has the density of a dying star and it comes in a box that you're not going to believe a mattress is in. And they put it on or opened it up upside down. And I've been there. It's not easy to flip over an upside down mattress. But then what did they say? Amazingly comfortable as soon as they laid down on it. And you know what I responded with? I know these things are awesome. I travel a lot with my wife. We say the same thing almost every trip. I cannot wait to get home so we can sleep in our mattress. Now, you may not know what kind of mattress you are looking for. And this is one of the cool things about Helix, they have a sleep quiz. You just go on there and it'll guide you through. Do you sleep on your back, your side, your stomach? Hot? Cold? Are you a larger person, Heavier person, Lighter person? Do you like a firmer mattress, a softer mattress and it works your way through this and then we'll spit you out some selections. You buy the thing, I'll give you a discount code here in a second. It shows up at your house really rapidly and I am telling you it comes in a box. You're not going to think a mattress is in. Get it into the room where you are going to unbox this thing and when you pierce that seal, a vacuum seal, be prepared. A mattress is going to launch out at you. So listeners to the show right now, there's a fantastic offer, 27% off site wide. I'm pretty sure that email that came in, that listener said they saved close to $1,000 which is amazing, especially given the quality of product you're going to get. Helixsleep.com ClearedHot that is helixsleep.com ClearedHot h e l I x sleep.com ClearedHot you will thank me for it. You will get the best night's sleep of your life. Back to the show. Question 3 I am in my late 20s and my husband is in his early 30s and kids seem to be a topic that we talk about pretty consistently and we hopefully in the next two to three years will add a kid to our family. I grew up with exactly one shit ton of siblings and cousins. It's a fantastic way to describe that, most of which were younger than me. I have also nannied taught swim lessons and have just generally been around kids my entire life. I have changed more dirty diapers than a lot of parents and I can sing you as many kids songs as a preschool teacher so I know enough to know that I know nothing. My husband on the other hand did not change his first diaper until he was in med school and since then he has changed exactly zero. I have since learned it is apparently pretty common for people for their first child to be the first diaper they change. So he does get points for at least learning how. It's been a while since I have had a child in diapers, but we did five years, five straight years of kids in diapers and I remember the last box of diapers, industrial sized Costco box of diapers that I bought. And you want to talk about a difference in money you spend versus money you make when that ends? Holy cow. I mean they're not the most expensive thing in the world, but wow, you will, you'll have enough money to take the significant other out to dinner at the end of the month. That's for sure when diapers end. But thinking back, the very first diaper that I ever changed was Riley's who is now 22 years old, 22 as of last month. And I remember the first time in the hospital I held him and probably changed a diaper within 24 hours of him being born. But that was it. I mean, I wonder if people I'm sure there's parenting classes where you practice on dolls and stuff. And again, this is not rocket surgery. We are not putting a satellite into geosynchronous orbit. There's a front side to it and a backside to the diaper. They're labeled, you can put backwards completely and it's a little bit of Velcro. You're going to be okay. You there's a hole that each leg goes through and you really, really, really would have to try hard to mess it up. Even though I've definitely messed it up once or twice and had them come right off at the least opportune times. But I don't think it's uncommon either for a parent to have not changed a diaper, specifically probably a guy, until it's their own first kid. That was my own first experience. So back to the email here. And while I know he's going to be a great dad, he's pretty clueless when it comes to kids and is pretty sure that having kids cannot be harder than having two dogs. I struggle not to laugh at that sentence. I know your kids are grownish and it's been a long time since you've been in the baby phase, but what advice would you have for a man that is used to being extremely successful in all endeavors and thinks that having kids will be the same as having dogs? And what advice would you have for me who has way more experience with kids and sometimes fails to remember that things that don't faze me as an example, kids screaming, crying and throwing fits and generally just being nasty are a huge shock to his system? What a great question. Here's my advice. No amount of you trying to describe, or anybody else trying to describe what being a parent is going to be like is going to prepare you. Read all the books. What to expect when you're expecting. I have read that thing front to back decades ago at this point, multiple times. And you could read every parenting book and talk to as many parents in your social circle to include your own about all of their experiences. And I don't care how prepared you feel like you are, there will be a point in time, probably multiples, where you feel like you have no idea what you're doing. And I think that's the way it's supposed to be. And I think that is totally okay. Read the books though, have the conversations. But the advice I have to you for this woman is this. Save your breath. Let your husband think that having kids is going to be like having two dogs. And for those of you who are audio only, I am fighting back a smile and a laugh right now because I've heard things that are similar to this and you can talk until you're blue in the face. And none of that is going to help when you wake up at 2 o' clock in the morning to change a diaper and you have like the nightlight in the corner and you lift your baby out of their bed after they have completely dumped 10 pounds of excrement in a 1 pound sack, also known as their diaper.