Andy Stumpf (0:00)

What's up, everybody? Normal programming for today. I have five questions pulled aside. Will I get through them all? Nobody knows, including myself because I always say I'll keep it short, keep it concise. Then I run my mouth, I get lost going down rabbit holes, I go down tangents. You know how it is. Pretty different questions though, for sure, spanning some good genres. Before I get into that, please stay with me for about 90 seconds. Let's pay the bills. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. This could be the easiest ad read that I ever do. I've been sleeping on one of these mattresses for, I think over five years at this point. I was first exposed to them through the podcast years ago. Anybody who's been with the show for a while knows I did a three year exclusive deal with Black Rifle. But for a few years before that, I would occasionally do an ad read for Helix. With that, I got a mattress from them and holy cow, I mean, my wife and I, we have the ability, we travel all the time and the number of times we have had a conversation about can't wait to get home because we love our mattress so much. At first, when I heard about these mattresses, I didn't think one, that it was possible to have one delivered to your house in the size of the box that it does prepare yourself, that it comes in a box that you're not going to think there's a mattress in and have somebody there to help you as well. It's pretty heavy and dense, but it was really cool. Went onto their website, they have a sleep quiz and it runs you through. Do you sleep hot, do you sleep cold, do you like soft, do you like firm, do you sleep on your side, stomach, back, all of these things. And it can push you towards a suggestion for a mattress. My wife and I, we sleep on the Midnight Luxe. That's the mattress we've been sleeping on. During the time period that I had the exclusive advertising deal with Black Rifle, we moved into a townhouse in the town in Kalispell. To shorten our commute, we needed some mattresses. I went straight back to Helix Mattress and ordered a mattress for every bedroom in the house. Ordered myself another one. It was a Midnight Luxe as well. Full price, no discount because of how awesome they are. So the guest bedroom, Helix, my son's bedroom, Helix, our bedroom, Helix, they're legit. It's the best sleep that I have ever had. I am not joking. I've traveled the world with my wife and every time we're on our way home we say I cannot wait to get back into our house to sleep in our own bed. I highly recommend you go over to their website and start with the sleep quiz. If you really know what you want, I suppose you could skip that but let their software do its thing. Let it give you a suggestion based off of the questions that it's asking you. Head over to helixsleep.com clearedhot what you're gonna find is 27% off site wide plus a free bedding bundle which is a sheet set and a mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order that is helixsleep.com slee cleared hot helixsleep.com cleared hot the mattresses I've ordered have showed up somewhere between 7 to 10 days. That's how close you are to potentially the best sleep of your life. You will not regret it. Back to the show. Okay, I got the red smoke. Sun runs north and south. West of the smoke, west of the smoke. Okay, copy. West of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Shall we get into it? I have five questions pulled aside for today. Will I get through them all? Nobody knows, including myself. So let's dive in. Andy, longtime listener and hopefully you will add this to a full auto Friday. Well, here you go. We are doing so right now. Enjoy the journey. I am a conservative Republican voting by default as I'm not a fan of the two party system. As someone who's listened to you over the years, I want to get your feedback on the recent crackdown from the Trump administration on college institutions in parentheses with government funding and deportation of visa holders in the U.S. i find myself agreeing with a lot of what this administration is doing but cannot get behind potentially or potential revoking of visa holders on college campuses because of certain viewpoints and or protesting. If they take over school building, there should be enough in the current US law to prosecute without revoking their vis and deporting them via the State Department. I'm gonna say this, there wasn't a single question mark in your email, so I'm assuming you wanna get my thoughts on what you described. And here they are. But first the obvious perhaps. I'm not a lawyer, I am not an expert on the State Department visas, immigration or deportation, which I think anybody who listens to the show knows that. But I think it's important to state so I can give you my opinion based off of what I currently know on these subjects. What I know is this, when you apply for a visa specifically to the United States you are agreeing to or you are in your application, you know, applying for the different types of visas, whether it's occupational, student, fill in the blank in that application. There are some boundaries on behavior. And one of the things that it says specifically, again, for an application into the United States or one of the things that you agree to by signing on the dotted line is that if you break the law, you may be subject to deportation. So to go to the end here, there should be enough in current US Law to prosecute without revoking their visas. It specifically says in the visa program that, and I'm not sure where the threshold is where it may be adjudicated locally versus flip to something that may be a deportation. But it does say that. Does that mean that potentially they are under more scrutiny than a citizen? Yes, it does. But you know that when you sign on the dotted line, there is some truth to the statement of fuck around and find out. I'm trying to view this through the lens of me as an individual applying for a visa in a different country that I wanted to, I'll say go to school, because that's the example that we were using here. Even though I would not do well in a college environment, even at the age of 47, I just, I wouldn't flourish there in the application. There's a reason that a lot of these things have small print. It lays out, you know, who you are. This is what I'm trying to do. And the country that you are applying to visit can put some boundaries on your behavior if you don't feel like you can live inside of those boundaries. It would be my suggestion to anybody to not sign on the dotted line. Because if I as an individual wanted to move to a different country under a visa program, and I read through the application, saw that there were things that I was able to do and things that I was unable to do, I signed knowing well that I was going to do whatever I wanted to and then did that was rolled up by law enforcement and got into their legal system. It would be my expectation that given that I signed on the dotted line and didn't have a gun to my head and somebody forcing me to sign, that if I fall outside of the parameters of the reason that I am in that country or through the mechanism that I am in that country, then I would be sent back to my country of origin. Now, there's plenty of room for discussion in this. And again, when it comes to where something can and should be adjudicated and then can and should be talked about, From a deportation perspective, I am not the person to have that particular conversation. I don't know where the legal threshold is, but I do think that is an important conversation because many of the rights that citizens have do apply to citizens and visa holders. You're not going to, I mean, you're not going to get deported as a citizen for a criminal act. You're, you're going to go to jail for it, you're going to be punished for it. And it's just different if you're here under a visa. You do not have exactly the same rights as a citizen. And that is the way that the cookie crumbles. And again, this goes back to. You have applied for permission to be inside of this country. The conversation between protests and riot is a really interesting one, especially depending on the lens and it really seems like it's a merry go round or a circular argument depending on what side of the political aisle the party that is either protesting a riot or how it is viewed and what the, what is, you know, the lexicon of the day and what is going on and all of those things. You know, I'm a huge fan of people's first Amendment right. Peaceful gathering, protest, all about it. You know, when you talk about taking over a school building, well, again, as somebody who is not the true north of the legal system, I don't know where it sits. But if you're an individual that is taking over a school building and actively promoting a terrorist organization and terrorist organization's ideologies while you are a visitor, a visitor in another country, I think you might bump up against the fuck around and find out which is optional. If you don't think you can live inside of the rules for the program that you are applying for. It's the same thing as if you were to apply for a job and they said this is the role and responsibility, this is your boundary. If you don't think you can do that and you think you're just going to muscle your way through the system without having any consequence whatsoever, I'm here to tell you that probably not going to go your way and you shouldn't have any expectation that it should. So to me, I put this back onto the individual who is applying for and living under those visa conditions. If you do not want to worry about deportation in this instance of what you're talking about, where you would rather have something prosecuted versus worked at the State Department level, live and operate inside of the boundaries of the visa that you are visiting the country under, I don't want to say it's simple, but that's a really good way to stay off the radar. Agree to the contract that you signed. I put a lot of this back on the individual's actions. If you step outside of those roles, I mean, what do you expect? I truly. I think about. I try to think about this from me going to somewhere else. And if I were to do that, what would I expect them to do? I would expect them to balance me depending on the severity. Of course. You know, for jaywalking, I don't think that's a big of a deal. But at some point in that legal system, it will trip over. I get where you're coming from. I think that many people are worried about the weaponization of the immigration system or the demonization or vilification of immigrants. And I think at a grander scheme, I don't think that that is happening. I think instances like ones that are constantly churning in the media can be some emotionally compelling at the time. But I don't think that they're the vast majority of things that are actually occurring. I think it's actually the minority. And again, I go back to individual actions. If you want to stay off the radar or if you don't want to get bounced live and operate inside of the boundaries of the contract that you as the individual signed up for. That's all I have for that. Whether or not that answer your question, I don't know. Question 2. How do you think Waco or Ruby Ridge would have been handled tactically by law enforcement today? I can't help but think with all the experience gained post 9 11, authorities would have been better prepared and able to reach a different outcome. Your thoughts on this would be great to hear. This is a fantastic question. I haven't thought a lot about this. I read this email last night and I was thinking about it a little bit and there's. Man, there's so there are so many differences between when Waco and Ruby Ridge occurred. And now from a tactical perspective, if you go back and watch any of the documentaries on Waco, which is one, I know I don't know an immense amount about Waco, but I do know more about Waco than I do the understanding of what happened at Ruby Ridge. And I'll say this, I think it is my belief that if possible, if this were to happen today, it is my belief that the agencies responding to each of those, or either of those would do everything they could to not get into a gunfight and not escalate to the loss of life. On either side of the equation. But I think, and I mean, I don't have any data to support this, but my initial thoughts are that I think the Ruby Ridge incident could more than likely be solved without loss of life. I'm not so sure. The Waco one could, and I'll get to that in a minute. But in the modern era, and this is an interesting conversation, I've heard people talking about this, the militarization of police, not only from a tactical perspective, but an equipment perspective. I live in northwestern Montana, and the SWAT team here where I live has a vehicle that looks eerily similar to vehicles that we used to have overseas. They look like an rg, an armored vehicle. And it's great for the SWAT team. I mean, they can. I would be utterly shocked if that thing was even capable of being overmatched here where I live. It was capable of being overmatched in those countries because you could bury 1500 pounds of HME or homemade explosive and flip the thing 100ft in the air, obviously destroying the vehicle and everybody inside of it. That's not the threat that they're facing, but it's a great tactical tool. It can provide cover, concealment. I don't know if they. I have seen, not this particular department where I live, but I've seen other agencies that seem to have the ability to deploy gas from almost like a ram perspective on it. I don't know if the one does up here. Body armor is better, weaponry are better. Optics are better, Night vision goggles better, Helmets are better, uniforms better. All of these things. And there's 20 years of experience in mature theaters of war. And a lot of people from those military occupations have made their way into both state and federal law enforcement. So I do believe even before that there was a. What would be the correct word, there was a sharing process of tactics, techniques and procedures. As tactics were evolving overseas in very kinetic environments, they were making their way back to state and federal law enforcement. They're not all directly applicable, but those lessons learned in blood, to the best of my knowledge, you know, they passed down what they could in the hopes of enhancing the capability of state and federal agencies and the hopes that they don't have to learn those lessons in blood as well. So there is an equipment perspective of this and a tactic perspective. Things are drastically, drastically different than they were in the time of Ruby Ridge and Waco. Now, having said that, there's really only one thing separating most people from a lot of the equipment that very high speed units use. And that's A credit card with an appropriate purchasing balance that would allow you to buy a lot of this stuff. I'm not joking. I wish I could. Yeah, I wish. Actually, I don't. I mean it is, it just is what it is. There is no wishing that you could or couldn't. It just is what it is. A lot of the items are super expensive, but you really could, if you wanted to, as an individual, outfit yourself almost identically to what state and federal law enforcement are capable of doing. Whether or not you should do so. It's a conversation for yourself and what, what, what you would want to spend your hard earned money and time on. It's up to you. So a lot of lessons learned, a lot of equipment differences. If you go back and you look at the any documentary on Waco and I'm sure they were wearing the most high speed gear at the time, but damn, looking back now and maybe this will happen 30 years from now with what people are wearing right now. Holy. We're talking some of my favorites, you know, MP5s, pistol caliber submachine gun, pistols, shotguns, some helmets that look like they could hold, you know, 15 or 18 cans of soup inside of them. It was, it was pretty wild. Like I said, cutting edge at the time, but in the rear view mirror, not incredibly cutting edge. I think they did in fact have an armored vehicle of some kind, but a lot of it was just foot movement up to the actual structure in Waco. They had a surrounding perimeter, but they kind of went at it full back dive when it was time for them to go full back dive. The reason I think that Waco might be a little bit more difficult to avoid loss of life is that there was a large group of people, they were well armed. There's a lot of contention around why the, the government even showed up in that compound in the first place. And that's not even a, not even in the calculus of what I'm talking about. That is for people to discuss. I'm not going to call it a conspiracy theory. We'll just say that there's an interesting conversation argument about why federal agencies started paying attention to Waco in the first place. It was a very committed, very devout belief system in what they believed group of people. And some of those people inside of there, they were ready to, they were ready to get it on and they would have rather gotten it on than come out of there. But I think the biggest difference between that era and now, the tactics aside, the equipment aside, and the reason I think that the entities, federal entities would do everything humanly possible to avoid the gunfight that did occur, the fire that did occur, the loss of life that did occur, is this. And for those of you who are audio only, I'm holding up my phone because that didn't exist when Waco happened. It didn't allow an opportunity for the people inside of there to be basically be live streaming everything that is happening in real time. And I don't think anybody specifically law enforcement wants to get involved in a gunfight or a situation like that. When you're on Instagram live or fill in the blank, the ability for people to just blast it out. Now, is there a time and place for that and can you be pushed to that? Absolutely. Would those entities take action if they needed to? Yes. But if you think that and public perception doesn't factor into the calculus, I don't think you're paying attention to it closely enough. It does absolutely matter. And they would do absolutely everything that they could. I don't know if they could have avoided a gunfight with the people that were inside of that compound though. And once that kicks off, your options become a little bit more limited, regardless of whether or not they're recording it and, you know, blasting it out to the world on their device. Ruby Ridge, kind of the same thing again with the ability of people, you know, not that there were more people at Waco. So I think more opportunity for these devices to have an impact. I think Ruby Ridge would be different because like I said, there is is an influx of people with a very deep level of knowledge and experience from the 20 years of sustained combat. I think in the modern era, because of that, that they would have exercised a little bit more tactical patience. I think they would have surrounded and called out and not pushed the issue, even if shot at. I think they would have taken a tactical pause, assess the situation, assessed the. The tactical situation. Were they in the advantage or in a disadvantage? Do they need to force it? Do they need to go full back dive through the door? And I'm not saying that, I'm not saying that that was their default back then, but it is my experience that as people gain experience in those tactical environments, you start using your brain a hell of a lot more than when you first started. I hate to say this, but in profession of arms, it is a part of the culture, the threat. Have you ever been in a gunfight and not even that it matters in the military if you ever killed somebody? Not even that it matters. Before you cross the threshold of either of those, there is a desire to do so. After you cross the threshold of that, I think you come to the realization that it's far less important than you may have thought it was. And you really start to try to think your way through problems. You know, the index finger is, it's going to work fine. You've trained a lifetime to be able to do that. But you start looking for solutions that lead you away from that. And I think that there would have been in the modern era a level, an enhanced level of tactical maturity. And I'm not talking shit at all about either entity that was in either of those situations. I think they did the best that they could. They just didn't have that 20 years of experience in TTP pass down that has occurred now and again. I could be completely and utterly wrong. Maybe they would get on the ground and do exactly what they did, but I just don't think so. So that is my opinion on both of those. I think that's how it would have played itself out. I hope that's how it would have played itself out. This episode is brought to you by BUBS Naturals. There is a story to be told here about a man named Glen Dougherty. And I have a few more ad reads with Bubs and I plan to integrate that because honestly, it's one of the more, if not the most compelling reason why I wanted to align with this particular brand. Glenn was an amazing man and the founder. Sean and I were both incredibly fortunate to know him. And one of the reasons I really like BUBS is that they directly tie back to veterans charities and the Glen Doherty Foundation. I'll get to that one day in the next few weeks because it's important, but I want to make sure that I tell the story properly. So I need to get my thoughts together a little bit between now and then. Let's talk a little bit about collagen. I'm not a collagen expert, so I'm going to read this right off the page. Collagen is the most abundant protein in the human body. Think of collagen as the glue protein holding our bodies together. Do you ever feel like you're out of glue? Sometimes a little achy, a little creaky, like you're the Tin man and you could use a little bit of a tune up, a little oil, a little tsst? Yeah, that's how I feel. And that is actually why I'm interested in trying collagens naturally. When we age, we stop producing collagen by supplementing with collagen. You're Helping your body keep up its production. This is essential for joint health, muscle recovery, hair, skin, nails, gut health and more. What I've heard from people is what they get going on this. And it takes a couple weeks to 30 days. Nails are longer, hair is growing, you feel like you need a haircut, your achy joints stop aching. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that I have experience with collagen because right now my data points exist for two days because I just started using the product, but I started using it for exactly those reasons. I'm aging, if you can't tell by the salt and pepper nature of my hair. And I sometimes wake up, given the activities that I choose to do. A little bit sore. Fingers are sore from holding on to people in jiu jitsu. Joints are a little bit sore. You just feel that age coming around the corner. What I think is cool is that I can actually talk in real time about my experience as it goes. Throughout the weeks, I've heard great things about people who've gotten on the collagen train. I'm interested to see for myself. I just integrated it into my morning routine. It came in a super convenient single size serving, so I didn't have to measure it out. Even though they have the containers that have the normal scoops. I have a little bit of electrolytes in the morning, a little bit of creatine. I put that in there with a little frother. If you will slam it down, we'll see how it goes. I could not be a bigger supporter of the motto that the brand lives by. Die young as late as possible. Now back to the collagen here. A little bit per serving you're going to get 20 grams of protein, seven essential amino acids, one single ingredient. It is Sport 100% NSF Sport certified and Whole 30 approved. In other words, extremely high quality. Bubs is the purest form of collagen. Sustainably sourced from grass fed and pasture raised cows in Southern Brazil. Keto and paleo diet approved if you're into that type of thing. And it's heat tolerant, meaning you can put it in anything like coffee if you wanted to. That might be an interesting pairing. I will try that and report back. How can you easily integrate this into your lifestyle? Head over to Bubsnaturals.com now. If you use the code clearedhot, you're gonna get 20% off your next purchase. Bubs naturals normal spelling and it's going to be in the show notes. If you just want to click on it.com promo code cleartop for 20% off. Standby for the journey. I'm here for it. I've heard great things and I'll be very honest with my experience. Now let's get back to the show. Question 3 really shifting gears here. Hope you're doing well. I'm writing because I'm in a really rough spot emotionally and could use your guidance. I've been great friends with this woman for years. A few months ago we started talking and things felt like they were progressing into something more than friends. I got attached, letting myself believe that there was a chance. But then unexpectedly, she shut it. She shut it down, saying she only wants to be friends. It's left me gutted and I'm struggling to let go of these feelings. This whole thing has taken a serious toll on my mental health. I am 27 and I've never been in a relationship, never even gone on a date. And that reality is crushing me right now. I feel worthless and like I'm falling into a darker place, wrestling with thoughts that I'll always be alone. To make it worse, I'm consumed with jealousy thinking about her talking to or dating other guys. I know she's her own person and can do what she wants, and I respect her decision to keep things platonic, but picturing her with someone else is like a knife twisting in my chest. I love her as a person and I don't want our friendship to be affected. Any advice on how to pull myself out of this ordeal with the jealousy would mean a lot. Thank you for listening. Who. There's a lot here. And again, I've brought this up a few times. There is a downside to only getting an email and not being able to have a conversation with somebody because if you were able to sit here, I would have a lot of questions for you. I'll get to what questions I would ask you here in a second, but I want to start with this wrestling with thoughts that I will always be alone. There is only one thing that will guarantee that you will always be alone, and that is if you choose to. You have to be careful with how you talk to yourself and you have to be careful with the stories that you tell yourself. Half of the population on earth are women. I actually think the stats show that it's slightly higher point being there is somebody out there for you. There might be multiple people out there for you, and the only person that will prevent you from going out there and meeting those individuals is going to be yourself. Now, you said you're 27 and you've never been in a relationship. If you were here, I wouldn't say to you, well, why haven't you been in a relationship? Trust me, I have that question. But I almost feel like that's a little bit too much of an edged question. A little stabby, if you will. I would just. Instead, I would probably phrase it in terms of, well, how come? What has prevented you from being in a relationship? Is it not something that you valued? Is it not something that you wanted, not something that you were interested in? There's all sorts of people. I know people who didn't really engage in relationships at a deep level or commit to the person that they were with until their 30s. I can't say I knew somebody who hasn't gone on a date since then. But I do know people that it was later in life where they really made that a focus and emphasis in their life. So I don't think that you're alone in that aspect at all. But I would want to know, what is it that. What choices have you made that have helped you arrive at this place? You know, and to kind of connect what I'm saying about being alone. Covid was a weird time. I think we can all agree upon that. And one thing that I think it showed is that isolation is really, really not good for human beings. For myself, I realized that, you know, you take away your social circle, your friend group, your support group, you isolate people, maybe even lock them in a place with somebody who might be abusing them, and the results are not gonna be great. Like, that recipe is gonna deliver a cookie that tastes like shit. In my opinion, for most people, there are people who really, really do well by themselves. They do not need the social interaction. They don't want or need a partner. And they are fulfilled living that type of life. If you aren't that person, if that doesn't describe you to a T, I am going to have one piece of advice for you, and I'm going to tie this in to my middle son. I have three children, all on very unique paths. My middle son's name is Tyler. He's going to Montana State pursuing mechanical engineering. Two summers ago, he started two businesses. He has a window cleaning business called Peeping Tom's Windows. He has done all the business. My obviously incredible and valuable suggestion to him was with the name. I did the heavy lifting there. He did all the window cleaning. He has another business for the wintertime. It's called Epstein's Christmas Lights, because they're not going to hang themself again, I think people can probably guess what my input and role in that was. It certainly wasn't hanging the lights. Both of those businesses require him to go out and drum up business on his own. And I tell you what, the stats are always interesting to me, people, their number one fear is public speaking. And I can kind of get it. I do a good amount of public speaking and I'm sure everybody who speaks publicly gets nervous. But the more you do it, the more comfortable you are with it. You realize never going to be perfect. You're going to maybe stumble on some words. The perfect presentation doesn't exist. You're going to do the best you can. And every single person in the audience would trade a substantial sum of money to not be you up on stage underneath the spotlight. But if you get enough reps in, it stops bothering you. My middle son is very smart and that'll serve him well in life. But the one thing that just gives me a little bit of a ability to kind of calm down and know that he's going to be okay is that he doesn't mind being told no. It literally is like water off of a duck's back because he has knocked on so many doors and he knows K N O W S that when somebody tells him no, all that means is there's another opportunity right next door to find that yes. And if you can get to a place where being told no actually is just a log that goes on your fire of motivation, you will be unstoppable in life. And that it's one of the coolest things about Tyler. I didn't teach him that. I didn't suggest that he go knock on doors. I never went with him a single time. He figured the pitch out on his own. He went to the neighborhoods, he was knocking on doors, he figured it out. And that little shit put together a multi thousand dollar per month business venture on his own that still exists. He's trying to figure out a way to go to college and do that. It's unbelievable. That skill is going to serve him so well in everything he does in life. And it can serve you well in life too. So my advice to you is this, dude, get out there, talk to women, talk to other women. I don't understand dating apps, but I know that it's relatively commonplace. It's an ecosystem that exists for people that are exactly of your age. Get on there. What's the worst that's gonna happen? You're gonna be told no. Does it suck? Yeah. Does it hurt? Sure. Does it make you feel good about yourself? No. But what about when somebody says yes? What if you have to go through a hundred no's to find the perfect yes, not the perfect exists. But I think you get the point. How would you feel then? You feel fucking awesome. And I tell you what, you forget about the hundred no's. Get out there. If you're worried about ending up alone, start taking action. It's going to make sure or ensure that you're not going to be. It's going to be reps. Some of them are going to suck. Your first few reps might be awkward. Remember this. Unless you do it in some wildly public spectacle, the only two people that will ever remember those two reps are going to be you and the person you're talking to. And I bet you the person you're talking to will forget it far quicker than you do. It's going to sting more for you than it will for them. Unless you get super weird, which don't do that. Get some reps in, dude. Get yourself out there. It'll also, I think, help you feel a little bit of better about this situation. You love this person and you don't want your friendship to be affected. I'm sorry, but it already is. And it might be healthy for you to distance yourself a little bit. You might respect her decision to keep things platonic, but picturing her with someone else is a knife twisting in your chest. You're consumed with jealousy thinking about her talking to or dating other guys. I don't think there's a way where you can truly have an honest relationship with this woman, platonic or otherwise, where you actually feel that way. Because let's say you go down the path for another year and you're still struggling with this and you refuse to go out and get reps and you put up a good facade when you're with this person, but you're just. It's eating you inside. And she starts sharing with you her the last date that she went on, how's that going to make you feel right? Or she starts talking to you about her boyfriend or fill in the blank. I don't think it is possible. I'm not saying shit can this person out of your life. But realize the equation here is very unbalanced. On one side, she's been open and honest with you about what she wants and what she doesn't want. You. I don't know if you're being honest with yourself about whether or not you can have this platonic relationship with this person while still Feeling the way that you do behind the curtain. I think eventually the curtain might blow itself open and you're going to be the one looking like an asshole if that's the case, because you are the one who is putting up this, you know, putting a mask on, for lack of a better word. And then behind the scenes, you're feeling differently. It sucks when you get rejected. I totally understand how you're feeling, but I will say this. Your level of jealousy, your concern about her dating other people and the knife twisting in your chest will decrease if you can find somebody else. You might have some throwaway reps in there. You might have some swings and misses, some ugly missteps. And all I'll say to you that, sir, is welcome to the fucking real world. That's how it goes. It's fucking messy out there, but you gotta get out there, man. You have to get out there. And if you do, you're going to feel better about this. Your other option is maintain this attachment to this person that has already told you they don't have this level of attachment to you. The person being unfair in that situation is actually you. You have to sit with that and think on that. Do you have to do anything right now? No. Except for create a dating app profile. The best way to do that is going to be to reach out to Michael for help, because he does that and I don't understand it at all. But he could probably give you some advice and you're gonna need, like, a profile picture and I think a profile, I'm assuming it looks like Instagram. You have a page. No clue. I've never been on a dating app. But, dude, get out there, get some reps in. Are you going to instantly feel better tomorrow? No. Are you going to think about this from time to time over the days, weeks, months, even years? Yep. But it'll be easier to deal with, especially if you find somebody else. There's somebody else out there for you unless you don't allow it to happen and don't take the necessary steps. It's the best piece of advice I have for you, man. Last one for today. We'll do four and we'll be done with it. Subject, how did you prep for buds, which stands for Basic Underwater Demolition slash seal. Hey, Andy, I know you get tired of talking about the SEAL stuff. Like you, I made it my life's decision that I was going to become a Navy SEAL at a young age. Currently I am 17 and exercising regularly through Stu Smith's books or Jake Zwigs. I Hope Jake. I said your last name correctly. Plan Jake Zawigs plan. I listened to your podcast a lot and have always wondered how did you train to prepare for buds, especially right after high school. Thank you. Well, let me tell you, wow, you are at such an advantage comparison to where I was. I went to the Navy recruiter and I said, do you have any information on buds and how I could train to be a Navy seal? And the recruiter I signed up with was a woman. She was a mechanic for the Blue Angels, I believe one of the first ones, if not the first one. And she handed me, I'm going to call it six pages, but it probably was double sided, so 12 pages worth of info. And it was like this training program to, for buds and IT, I, I mean we're looking 30 years in the rearview mirror at this point, so give me a little bit of grace on exactly what it said. But it was, there's some running in there for sure. Push ups, like pyramids, you know, pyramid sets. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, up and down. And I don't know what else was in there, but I do remember this. It didn't prep me that well. What I ended up doing, especially once I got into the Navy is you just, you're going off of rument or rumor intelligence, who knows, anybody who knows anything about what training is like, what do they say you need to do to train? And let's, let's do that. I knew there was a lot of running, so I did some running. I didn't know what type of boots they wore, so I ran mostly in tennis shoes and I did it on the sand because I knew there was going to be running on sand when it was available. And that's something I recommend to you. And I'll talk a little bit more about the information you have access to here in a minute. So I knew there was going to be running. I knew there was going to be. It's calisthenics. There was push ups, there was pull ups, there was sit ups and flutter kicks and all of these things. I knew there was going to be getting into the ocean and wet and sandy and all those things. And there was boats and telephones and all that and telephone poles. There were telephones there in the compound too. I wonder if there still are. Actually, I'm trying to remember. Are those payphones? Who knows? I remember making a phone call at the end of hell week. I don't remember who I called or why. I don't think I put a Quarter in though. I don't know. I think those phones might have been free. Totally down a rabbit hole at this point. But there was a lack of information. So I did the best that I could. I was running when I was in high school. I played water polo for four years in high school and I kind of grew up in. I grew up in a beach city of Santa Cruz in and around the water a good amount. The swimming I was doing during water polo I felt prepared me enough for comfort level in the pool type evolutions of which I didn't really know what to expect then. There of course is the ocean evolutions but years of junior lifeguards being out there, not that I surfed a ton, but just comfort level in the water from when I did surf. I felt good there. So I didn't really focus too much on the swimming. And then I would go to the gym and just, just get it chest and tries back and bias legs was running and calf raises. I don't know why I thought calf. I don't. God, I was an idiot then and now. Yeah, legs for me was running in calf raises. I never once considered doing a squat to get ready for buds. Not a single time. And yeah, so that's what I did to prep and I just did a lot of volume. I went there as an instructor. A word of caution over training. I didn't realize the injury rate until I went back as an instructor. Some of those injuries are purely accidental. A student falls off an obstacle on the obstacle course and they break their leg rock portage in the boats. You get smashed in between the boat and the rocks by the surf and you break everything. You're gonna have to deal with those things. And if you are on the side of being unlucky, hopefully it is you are lucky enough that the injury is not catastrophic and you don't have to get ejected from the military at all. But you can recover and retry buts because you will get a medical role. What I saw though a lot of was overtraining issues and injuries. Shin splints are a great example of this. It is possible to pound your lower body extremities too much in desire to go down this pipeline. And what I will say is this. Do not show up to BUDS over trained and do not show up to buds injured. Is it possible that you can graduate if you show up with both of those things? Yes, of course it absolutely is possible. Are the odds in your favor? They absolutely are not. So you need to train incredibly hard, but you also need to make sure that you're flirting with that line of being prepared and over trained. Because overtrain, I mean the number of people on crutches at buds from shin splints is tremendous. Google what type of boot they are wearing in training. I guarantee you can find it. Spend some time, not all of your time running in those boots on sand, if you can, because that will replicate a lot of the demand. Do you need to spend all of your time running in boots on the sand? No, you do not. There's another thing that you can find every phase you are going to get tested on. A four mile run on the beach, two mile ocean swim and the obstacle course. There's no real way to train for the obstacle course until you actually get out there. And you're going to get the chance to do so before you class up. And I'll get to the obstacle course here in a second. Which ties into both running and swimming. There are specific times you have to meet per phase. Those times you can find on the Internet. Find them and make sure that it is not a heroic effort for you to meet or exceed that time. It should be a pretty easy day for you to do so. You don't want to have to have the best performance of your life to meet the baseline criteria. The obstacle course is an interesting one. You're going to get a lot of time to practice on the obstacle course or you did when I was there as an instructor and when I was a student. I'm here to tell you the key on the obstacle course is not brute force, it's technique. I'll give you a great example. It was the first 1, 2, 3, 4. Fifth obstacle, large cargo net, huge wooden poles on both sides. One that goes across the top. The net is up and you would watch these people who would just charge at the middle of the net and every step they're taking, it was like running uphill in soft sand because there's so much slack and they're like climbing the net and they're four rungs up and they're still touching the ground. And yes, you can climb the net that way at a massive exertion level. The smart move is you go to the side and you get as close to the side as possible. So every step that you take there's more tension and it's crazy. The difference in energy expenditure, it's purely a technique play learning how to climb ropes. You know, there's an obstacle called the Dirty Name that just chews people up. The Weaver is right afterwards. That's all technique. All of these things can be practiced and refined once you get there. But focus on technique, not the brute strength. It really will make the difference for you in timing. When it comes to running, you want to get better at running. Volume plus great technique. Swimming, same thing, Volume plus technique. So make sure that you are balancing both of those things. You don't have to break every wall with your forehead. You can train smarter, not harder, and still achieve the goal that you want to achieve. So make sure that you're able to do those things. There are buds, you know, not buds. There are boats on. They're going to be running around on your head. I don't recommend doing that before training. There are telephone poles that you're gonna have to carry around and do team activities with. I don't recommend doing any of that before training, but I recommend strengthening your body enough to be able to do that. Complex movements is what I would recommend. A very strong core, shoulders, hips and neck, upper body. You just, you need to be strong. You don't want to have too much muscle mass. The training is not going to reward that, but you don't want to have too little either. I would be doing less machine type stuff and more odd object type stuff. I'd be working with kettlebells, I'd be working with barbells. Your workouts, I wouldn't make them two or three hours long. I would have you trending more, a little bit of higher intensity, more days per week than not, and then some longer, slower distance type cardio training. And you could combine a run and a swim, a swim and a run, whatever you want to do. That's how I would attack it. But the biggest difference is you have the advantage of electronic devices. I heard something the other day, I don't know if it's true, but I'm going to repeat it. 98% of known knowledge to humans is accessible through your phone and your laptop. Use it. Not that you need all of that to get ready for buds, but research deeply the criteria that you are going to be tested against and then reverse engineer it from there. You know, before this era, it was a little bit more of like, let's just throw mud against the wall and see how this works out. It worked out well for some people and not for others. And there is an essence of luck in training. There really is. Are you guys going to be running the obstacle course on a day where it hasn't rained the day before and the wood that you're holding onto with your fingertips is completely saturated with water and Then slippery injuries go up during those time periods. Not because the students aren't capable and competent, it's because they got unlucky and it happens. So strip luck out of it and control the other things that you can go there as physically capable as possible, but not over trained. Probably not going to get in great shape while you're at buds. It's a little bit of a beat down, a grind if you will. You have the rest of your career to work on the physique that you want, the training program that you want target and get frontside focused on that six months and then take it from there. So that's how I train and that's how I would recommend you train. That's all I have for this week. See everybody on Monday. See ya.