Cleared Hot – Full Family Friday (11/28/2025)

Host: Andy Stumpf
Guests: Leah, Vaughn (Andy’s dad), Michael
Theme: Family, service, gratitude, and sharing generational wisdom in a candid, humorous roundtable.

Episode Overview

This Family Friday episode brings together Andy Stumpf, his wife Leah, his father Vaughn, and family friend Michael for a laid-back and heartfelt conversation spanning family traditions, military service, parenting philosophies, life changes, and the humor that keeps them together. They offer rich stories from different generations, reflecting on their own upbringings, service experience, and philosophical approaches to discomfort, growth, and self-improvement.

Key Discussion Points

1. Hero BJJ: The Costa Rica Jiu Jitsu Connection

[02:06-11:58]

• Leah describes Hero BJJ, a nonprofit jiu-jitsu academy in Tamarindo, Costa Rica, providing free lessons, uniforms, and school supplies to local children. The academy is a critical community hub, especially during flood seasons and COVID lockdowns.

  “They actually give free Jiu Jitsu lessons to children, local children. ... they give them Jiu Jitsu uniforms, they give them school supplies for the year.” – Leah [02:13]

• All proceeds from the annual seminars directly fund the program, with instructors donating their time.

• Andy notes the trip doubles as a family/surfing adventure with a “who’s who” of high-level black belts and world-class surf instruction.

• Banter about Costa Rica:

  • Wildlife (howler monkeys!), the tourist culture, and the tangible impact of the outreach.
  • Family logistics for the next seminar (February 2026).
  • The story of Dan Hart, another donating instructor.
  • Hero BJJ’s founder, Ron Jarman, is highlighted.

2. Thanksgiving Past and Present: Family Traditions and Lessons

[12:18-23:16]

• Michael leads a Q&A, launching with family Thanksgiving memories.

• Vaughn reflects on how family gatherings have evolved, focusing less on the meal, more on togetherness and gratitude.

  “Just taking some time to be thankful, especially for us this year ... having the grandkids, all three of them, really starting to get some air under their wings and showing some real neat growth.” – Vaughn [14:06]

• Leah recounts her massive Italian family’s holiday chaos: always 30+ people, kids at their own table, never quite “graduating” to the adults’.

• Stories of Vaughn’s “snot blown” German family: gatherings marked by stubbornness, occasional arguments, and rare moments of genuine happiness and laughter, like hunting and fishing trips.

• The contrast of cultures is unpacked: German bluntness versus the openly affectionate Italian side of the family.

  “When the family unit is that close... they start advising each other on life choices. Unsolicited, of course...” – Leah [19:41]

3. Military Thanksgivings and Lessons From Service

[23:24–29:48]

• Vaughn and Andy discuss what it’s like to spend holidays in uniform — sometimes it means cold MREs under a poncho, sometimes chow halls try to bring a semblance of home with turkey and “grade F steak.”

  “They do their best ... sometimes you just can’t get it done.” – Andy [29:07]

• For many, it’s an emotionally charged coming-of-age — missing home, forming a new kind of family.

• They joke about losing weight on deployment, the dangers of Skittles-and-cookie-based diets, and being “combat ineffective” after a shipment of Girl Scout cookies.

4. Family Banter and Inherited Humor

[31:02–42:05]

• Leah’s perspective: How she adapted to Andy’s “inappropriate comments” and the blunt, wry humor present across generations.

• Leah highlights Andy’s ability to “turn it on/off,” especially with other veterans.

• Family wit carries through to their kids, who immediately roast each other after months apart:

  “Within an hour, Julia looked at Tyler and goes, ‘You have a vagina.’” – Andy [37:15]

• Vaughn and Andy’s dynamic: Sarcastic, direct, and open to healthy conflict, they “never cut each other any slack.”

• The family’s willingness to address issues head-on, not afraid of hard conversations.

5. Foundational Family Advice & Stories of Standing Up

[41:30–48:59]

• Andy is asked about the best advice from his dad:

  “One of the core principles I still live my life to ... stand up for what you believe in.” – Andy [42:52]

• Vaughn tells the story of interceding physically for a fellow recruit being abused in boot camp, getting thrown in the brig, but ultimately driving out a toxic leader.

• Also, the baseball coach incident: Andy, frustrated with a toxic coach, stands up, leading Vaughn to have a direct talk (almost a confrontation), demonstrating advocacy and boundary-setting.

  “You got two choices here. I can either be your best friend or your worst fucking enemy.” – Vaughn [47:15]

6. BJJ Black Belt Criteria & Competition

[49:20–54:45]

• Leah provides a nuanced explanation of what it takes to earn a black belt:

  “At black belt, you have an A game, a very defined A game and you have a good base. ... Not being too one dimensional... If their normal stuff isn’t working, they shift and do something different.” – Leah [50:07]

• Competition is not required but makes it easier to evaluate readiness; the rise of masters divisions is making jiu jitsu more accessible for all ages/levels.

7. Sanity, Struggles, and Personal Growth

[55:15–64:54]

• Michael asks: Who is more sane?

• Leah praises both men’s willingness to pursue growth, therapy, and emotional openness — rare, especially in their respective fields.

• Vaughn opens up about periods of struggle with alcohol and unresolved trauma, crediting his wife and the Vet Center for his turnaround.

  “She just said, you know, you’ve got to go get help, or I’m gonna take the kids. ... It exposed me to something I couldn’t have done by myself.” – Vaughn [57:38, 58:34]

• Powerful story: Community sweat lodge with fellow veterans, emphasizing the necessity of group support and authenticity in healing.

  “All vets, so many of us, we pack everything inside and don’t share ... realizing I wasn’t the only one that felt that way.” – Vaughn [59:23]

8. Aging, Health, and Looking Ahead

[65:06–72:08]

• Testosterone therapy comes up (hilariously), and broader midlife health changes.

• Vaughn: Looking to “rehone” himself, volunteer more, and find new purpose post-retirement.

  “I want to get. Be a better person, you know, and I’m not sure how to put that there...” – Vaughn [71:01]

• Leah: Recovering from injury, coaching, refreshing kids’ BJJ curriculum, learning digital art, and cherishing family time.

• Both emphasize ongoing self-improvement, community involvement, and staying engaged with family.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On helping others and community (Leah, 02:13):
  “They actually give free Jiu Jitsu lessons to children... they give them Jiu Jitsu uniforms, they give them school supplies for the year.”

• On family evolution (Vaughn, 14:06):
  “Just taking some time to be thankful... especially for us this year having, for me having the grandkids ... showing some real neat growth.”

• On gratitude and holidays (Leah, 16:53):
  “Holidays are kind of the only time that everything stops... you can kind of actually spend time with family and just be.”

• On standing up for what’s right (Andy, 42:52):
  “Stand up for what you believe in... that’s probably the foundational framework of who I am.”

• On coming out of military trauma (Vaughn, 59:23):
  “I thought I was the only one that felt that way. ... realizing I wasn’t the only one that felt that way. And I’d have never got there without her.”

• On aging, health, and humor (Vaughn, 66:54):
  “...she asked me how. She said, well, where are you at now? I said, well, it’s not really morning wood, but I’ll say at least it’s kindling. You know, I got something to work with anyway.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Topic | Timestamp (MM:SS) | |---|---|---| | Hero BJJ and Costa Rica Trips | [02:06–11:58] | | Family Thanksgiving Stories | [12:18–23:16] | | Military Holidays | [23:24–29:48] | | Intergenerational Humor | [31:02–42:05] | | Foundational Advice/Stories of Advocacy | [41:30–48:59] | | Black Belt Criteria and Masters Jiu Jitsu | [49:20–54:45] | | Sanity, Counseling, Trauma Recovery | [55:15–64:54] | | Health, Hormones, and Goals for 2026 | [65:06–72:08] |

Closing Thoughts

The “Full Family Friday” episode showcases raw, heartfelt conversations that are equal parts humor, vulnerability, and life experience. Through stories about family traditions, military service, the evolution of martial arts, and the ongoing pursuit of betterment, the Stumpf family—plus friends—offer a relatable, motivational example of what it means to live intentionally, push through discomfort, and savor the messiness of real life with those you love.

For those interested in Hero BJJ, surf and jiu jitsu seminars, or supporting the cause:
Visit herobjj.com for more information and opportunities to get involved.