Negligent Discharge Friday - With Michael Shelton

Summary

Cleared Hot: Negligent Discharge Friday with Michael Shelton

Host: Andy Stumpf
Guest: Michael Shelton
Release Date: April 11, 2025

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1. Introduction and Format Changes (00:29 - 05:14)

In this episode of Cleared Hot, host Andy Stumpf welcomes listener Michael Shelton for a unique blend of segments under the banner "Negligent Discharge Friday." This format combines elements they initially planned to separate, resulting in a more dynamic and varied discussion.

• Andy: "Michael's mother demanded more content. So we agreed, we said we were going to do it." [00:29]

The duo acknowledges the spontaneity of the episode's format, highlighting the blend of prepared and impromptu topics.

2. Hygiene and Accessibility: A Challenging Question (05:02 - 09:20)

Andy introduces a thought-provoking question from his mother: "How do blind people know when to stop wiping their ass?" This segment delves into the practical and psychological aspects of personal hygiene for individuals with visual impairments.

• Michael: "How do blind people know when to stop wiping their ass? This has been on my mind for about 72 hours." [07:02]

They explore various solutions, such as using bidets and the potential for assistance from trusted individuals, emphasizing the importance of dignity and independence.

• Andy: "I would probably use a bidet, and then, honestly, I would probably go with the." [09:07]

3. The Morality of Dropping Atomic Bombs on Japan (10:37 - 21:57)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the ethical implications of the United States dropping two atomic bombs on Japan during World War II. Michael and Andy examine the historical context, casualty figures, and the broader consequences of such decisive actions in warfare.

• Michael: "There is an access to whatever belief you and I may have. Right. So there's somebody out there who thinks what you believe with all your heart is wrong." [11:05]

They weigh the immediate impact of the bombings—210,000 lives lost—in contrast to the potential prolonged conflict and greater casualties had an invasion been pursued.

• Andy: "140,000 Hiroshima, 74,000 in Nagasaki." [13:02]
• Michael: "Killing 210,000 people. Did we save a half a million?" [13:44]

The conversation underscores the complexity of moral judgments in war, acknowledging that such decisions often exist in a gray area rather than clear-cut right or wrong.

4. Purple Hearts Stockpile Controversy (21:57 - 26:48)

Andy brings up a headline claiming that the United States has ceased minting new Purple Hearts, relying instead on a stockpile amassed for a potential invasion of Japan. This sparks a discussion on military honors, the practicalities of award distribution, and the authenticity of such claims.

• Andy: "We read a headline that said the United States hasn't minted any new Purple Hearts." [22:13]

They explore the logistical challenges of storing a million Purple Hearts and highlight the dubious nature of the headline, suggesting it may be exaggerated or misinformed.

• Michael: "Where would you keep a million of those?" [24:28]

The segment concludes with skepticism about the legitimacy of the claim and a brief detour into buying replica Purple Hearts online.

5. Analyzing Plane Crashes During Skydiving (28:14 - 55:11)

The conversation shifts to analyzing viral videos of plane crashes during skydiving activities. Michael and Andy dissect specific incidents, evaluating the decisions made by pilots and jumpers, and discuss the inherent risks involved in such extreme sports.

• Andy: "Here's the video of it." [32:01]
• Michael: "How did the two airplanes come into contact?" [47:32]

They highlight the lack of proper training and awareness among participants, emphasizing the dangers of multitasking (pilots monitoring jumpers while handling controls) and the unrealistic expectations some skydivers have about aviation safety.

• Michael: "You're pushed forward by the propeller wash and gravity." [49:53]

The duo stresses the importance of adhering to safety protocols and the folly of attempting risky maneuvers for the sake of content creation.

6. Lighthearted Banter and Outtakes (55:11 - End)

Towards the end of the episode, Andy and Michael engage in casual and humorous discussions, touching on topics like attempted MMA fights by untrained individuals, visiting landmark locations, and personal anecdotes about their social lives and friendships.

• Michael: "Why do people think that they know how to fight?" [65:44]

They share laughs over viral videos, discuss the futility of confrontations without proper training, and playfully tease each other about future podcast episodes featuring Andy's brothers.

• Andy: "We could definitely set that up." [70:27]

Notable Quotes

• Andy: "This isn't your grandmother's tea." [02:36]
  (Introduces Peak Tea advertisement segment)

• Michael: "There is an access to whatever belief you and I may have." [11:05]
  (Discussing the complexity of moral judgments in war)

• Michael: "War isn't precise." [34:20]
  (Acknowledges the inherent uncertainties in military operations)

• Andy: "You're a piece of lavender, a flower." [17:44]
  (Teasing Michael's temperament)

Conclusion

"Negligent Discharge Friday" offers a blend of serious discussions and lighthearted interactions, showcasing Andy and Michael's ability to navigate complex topics while maintaining an engaging and relatable rapport. From exploring the ethics of historical wartime decisions to dissecting dangerous recreational activities, this episode provides listeners with both insightful commentary and entertaining banter.

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Note: Advertisements for T-Mobile and Peak Tea, as well as additional product promotions, were excluded from this summary in accordance with the provided instructions.

Transcript

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[Michael]

Good morning everybody. We're back. Friday programming for today. We talk about it at the very beginning of the episode. Michael's mother demanded more content. So we agreed, we said we were going to do it. I told Michael to be ready. He showed up to work not ready, which shouldn't surprise anybody. Did he pull it out of his ass? Probably. Is he a game time player? Let's not give him credit for that. So I don't even know what to call today. It's not Andy versus Michael. And I forget what we were calling it. Negligent Discharge Friday. It's kind of a mix because I thought we were going to do one, he thought we were going to do the other. We really just smashed it all together and here we are. So that's the programming for this Friday. Before we get into it, help me pay the bills. Stay tuned for 90 seconds, then we'll be into the show. Today's episode is brought to you by Peak Tea. Let me just start by saying this. This isn't your grandmother's tea. I am very new to the tea world. Traditionally. I thought it was kind of like your grandma's tea. You get a kettle, whatever, steam some water up or heat some water up until it's steaming, pour it into a cup and put the tea bag in. Well, that's not what this is and it's one of the things I actually really like. So let's talk about two specific teas. Their pu erh tea bundle. I have in front of me their black tea and their green tea. This is the box that it comes in, but this is the little sachet that the tea itself comes in. As you can tell, very different. So this is what it looks like in the box I opened up the green tea. Another cool thing that they're going to send you with. The offer all reach at the end is this really cool beaker which I filled up with 10 ounces of water and this little blender Slash frother. So what am I going to do right now? I'm gonna show you how easy it is. You rip open the little perforated edge, you can pour the tea right in there. This is one of their black teas which is gonna focus on digestion and metabolism. Let's see if we can get the sound effects.

[Andy]

Oh.

[Michael]

Right. Ads. Admr. Adsr, Whatever the it's called, you know what I'm talking about, where it's only the noises. Oh boy. I didn't think about what I was gonna do. At the end of the frother boom, you're ready to go 10 ounces of tea. How many milliliters is that? I don't know because I'm not a savage and I don't live across the pond. You guys are going to have to do that math on your own. The puart tea bundles couple benefits here. Gut health, longevity and convenience. Obviously the convenience I just showed you, I made a container of tea for myself in about 15 seconds. So dissolved instantly in water, packed with antioxidants that fight oxidative stress and support cellular regeneration and radiant skin and vitality. I actually think that one, Yep. Is probably more along the lines of the green te digestion and metabolism for the black tea. So you could think of it from a microbiome reset energy and mood immune support. Another cool thing about Peak is they have wild harvested from a 250-year-old tree or tea trees for unmatched purity and nutrient density. And they use cold extraction technology which retains the maximum phytonutrients. Now they have an offer for the listeners. If you're ready to elevate your day and transform your health. For a limited time you can get 20% off the Puair bundle plus a free, free starter kit including a rechargeable frother right here. Glass beaker right here which has got the little convenient measuring on the side with my link. If you head over to peaklife.com ClearedHot that is P I Q as in Quebec. Uniformecolife.com ClearedHot you're gonna be able to claim this exclusive offer. I wasn't a tea fan until I started working with peak. They have changed my mind on the value and place in TEA in my life. Give it a try. I don't think you'll be disappointed. Okay, I got the red smoke.

[Andy]

Sun runs north and south west of the smoke. West of the smoke.

[Michael]

Okay, copy. West of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Oh wait, baby, give it to me.

[Andy]

I mean It. You're cleared hot.

[Michael]

Copy.

[Andy]

Cleared hot. All right, we're going.

[Michael]

Yeah. Good. Cause I want it on record.

[Andy]

Okay, let's hear it.

[Michael]

That you were not prepared for work today.

[Andy]

I thought we were doing what do assumptions do. They make an out of you and me.

[Michael]

Yeah, there you go. You didn't ask.

[Andy]

You are in that as well.

[Michael]

Who requested a certain type of content that we are going out of our way arduously crawling over broken glass and hot coals to create. Who was.

[Andy]

It may have been my mother.

[Michael]

Exactly. So pull the text up and let's figure out what your mother wanted from us demanded from the Internet.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

And then we can talk again about how you came to work unprepared.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is it?

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah, yeah is right.

[Andy]

I'm trying to find it here.

[Michael]

Well, it should be a text from your mom.

[Andy]

Yeah, no, I got it. All right. So she texts me. Damn it. We're not enough people doing or going for the semi Auto Fridays or whatever you guys called it. And I said, oh, no, they loved it. We just haven't done one in a while. And she goes, well, get back on it. We loved it.

[Michael]

Who is the. Does she have a mouse in her pocket or is she talking about your dad?

[Andy]

Talking about my dad, I presume. Yeah.

[Michael]

Okay, so you told. You showed me that. I actually didn't believe you that it was written down anywhere. It is. I said let's knock it out today at 2:30. I didn't actually respond to the 2:30. Even though.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's true.

[Michael]

Thought that I did.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Which has nothing to do with you showing up to work unprepared.

[Andy]

I was actually here an hour early.

[Michael]

Why?

[Andy]

To do clip stuff.

[Michael]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I'm ready when you are. What are we even doing?

[Andy]

We're recording an episode at my mother's request.

[Michael]

I got a question for your mom. Yeah, I got a question for everybody. You ever have. You ever see something and it sticks in your head and you just can't get it out of your mind?

[Andy]

Like a song or like.

[Michael]

I guess that could apply. I'm thinking about you hear somebody ask a question and you don't. Since you don't know the answer, you can't put it down?

[Andy]

Yeah. Okay. I could see what you're. Yeah.

[Michael]

You ready?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

How do blind people know when to stop wiping their ass? This has been me up for about 72 hours. The Internet has some odd answers like smell checks. And that's.

[Andy]

That was where my mind went first. It's like you could Possibly.

[Michael]

Have you ever thought about that, though?

[Andy]

You know, I've seen that posed. Um, and I really didn't give it a whole lot of thought. I was like, oh, that's interesting.

[Michael]

What are the options? Just aggressively over pursuing the job, Right?

[Andy]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. I guess you could just go through a ton of toilet paper.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

And just. That pretty much guarantees you're good every time, but at the cost of time and quality of life. Quality of life, too.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

A little chafey.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

What do you think they do?

[Andy]

I don't know. Maybe they use, like, baby wipes, so it's more.

[Michael]

How do they know when to stop?

[Andy]

Well, I don't know, but you would have to use less baby wipes, you know?

[Michael]

Do you have somebody check.

[Andy]

You'd have to really, really have a special bond with somebody.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

To have that kind of relationship.

[Michael]

This has been me up for, like, three days.

[Andy]

That's interesting. It's interesting to.

[Michael]

Not in a bad way, but when I have my off time, when Javi's leaving me alone and not driving absolutely insane.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Which he threw the single largest piss I've ever seen on the table, the leg table today. It was like, a small puddle.

[Andy]

He did that to me when I was watching him. First time he ever had an accident with me.

[Michael]

If he keeps it up, his massive, massive balls might become my personal property. He. I don't know a way to communicate this with him, but. Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. I think that would definitely reduce the marking.

[Michael]

Yeah. Do you think blind people use a bidet?

[Andy]

Oh, I mean, yeah. Maybe. I feel like it depends on the person.

[Michael]

What would you do if you were.

[Andy]

Blind, specifically in the wiping scenario?

[Michael]

I mean, I guess we could open this up to other things, but that's what we were talking about.

[Andy]

I. Yeah, I mean, I would probably use a bidet, and then, honestly, I would probably go with the.

[Michael]

I'm shocked you don't use one just as it is. It kind of fits that shirt.

[Andy]

Yeah, I. When I was at Sean's, he had one, so.

[Michael]

Does he really?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

That's a little bit of information he might not want shared.

[Andy]

It's. People shit on bidets. Literally.

[Michael]

But figuratively, too.

[Andy]

Figurative. Yeah.

[Michael]

Yeah. Metaphorically and figuratively.

[Andy]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But they're really nice.

[Michael]

You enjoy it, the ride, if you will.

[Andy]

No, I. I don't particularly like it.

[Michael]

But you just said it was really.

[Andy]

Nice in the aspect that it gets everything clean.

[Michael]

I've never had a shitty meal and be like, that was really nice. I think you're More into it than you let on.

[Andy]

You're. You're conflating two different things.

[Michael]

You sit down to pee on that thing and then turn it on, don't you?

[Andy]

No, no, no.

[Michael]

At least once.

[Andy]

I only use it after I've gone to the bathroom. Number two.

[Michael]

I don't believe that.

[Andy]

Okay, well, you can believe what you want, but I'm telling you the truth.

[Michael]

All right?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

You're welcome. Michael's mom.

[Andy]

Yeah. You wanted this. You wanted this.

[Michael]

Fire away. What do you got for questions for today?

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

And the five minutes of research you put in?

[Andy]

I had some stocked up because we haven't done one in a while.

[Michael]

All right. Fire away.

[Andy]

Okay. What is your opinion on the US dropping two atomic bombs on Japan in World War II?

[Michael]

Like, my general opinion.

[Andy]

Yeah. Do you think it was right? Do you think it was.

[Michael]

Oh, man. Right.

[Andy]

Like, morally, what do you think?

[Michael]

Right or wrong? I don't know. I don't know if you can talk about warfare often in terms of right or wrong, because there's an access to whatever belief you and I may have. Right. So there's somebody out there who thinks what you believe with all your heart is wrong.

[Andy]

Yep.

[Michael]

And we believe that what they believe with all their heart is wrong, even though they think they're right. And I'm obviously painting with the broom. I get that. But broadly, that's pretty true, man. I think. And I am not a. I'm not gonna portray myself as a studious reader of all types of history. Some of it interests me more. I mean, I know a good amount about the Manhattan Project and the subsequent atomic bombs. I mean, from my understanding, Say we had not dropped the atomic bombs.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

It is likely we would have invaded the mainland of Imperial Japan, which probably would have netted far more death and bloodshed than both of those bombs combined, which is by no stretch an excuse or a justification for dropping those bombs. I'm just saying, from a mathematical perspective on both sides, it likely ended the conflict far quicker than it would have if it would have continued to an amphibious invasion of mainland Japan. Now, having said that, catastrophic loss of innocent life for sure.

[Andy]

Yeah. 140,000 Hiroshima, 74,000 in Nagasaki.

[Michael]

So 210,000 people in the matter. And is that counting, like, the radiation injuries afterwards? Are we talking about in the flash?

[Andy]

No, that's just the initial.

[Michael]

So those numbers would be larger, obviously.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

I mean, I don't. God, 210,000 lives. How could you even talk about that in the terms of right and wrong? I mean, War is. As much as people want war to be black and white, in my personal experience, it's almost always gray. There are some things that are black and white. I think there are some decisions that can be black and white, but the morality of it, I don't. You know, and it's a weird thing to say, you know, by killing 210,000 people, did we save a half a million?

[Andy]

Right.

[Michael]

That's a fucking weird sentence to say. And the reality is it's all hypothesis.

[Andy]

Yeah. I would say probably because the Overall World War II estimated deaths are 70 to 85 million, most of that being civilians.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

And so if we add on another probably three years to invade Japan, that's got to be another probably 4 or 5 million people.

[Michael]

I mean, is war morally right? Is war right or wrong? I mean, there's deeper questions than just the atomic bomb itself.

[Andy]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, I would say no. But also, I understand that sometimes it's unavoidable.

[Michael]

Do you think you could kill somebody?

[Andy]

Like, morally? Do you think I could?

[Michael]

Yeah. Like, do you think you're actually capable of it?

[Andy]

Yeah. If somebody was about to hurt my family or me or a very close friend.

[Michael]

That's your line in the sand.

[Andy]

Yes.

[Michael]

What if somebody cut you off in traffic?

[Andy]

No.

[Michael]

That sternly looked at you, spoke to you in a harsh manner?

[Andy]

Yeah, No, I think. No, that. That wouldn't do it. Quite okay. Yeah.

[Michael]

I've met some people who have said that regardless of what was happening, they would be unable to take another person's life. And I can respect both sides.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

And oftentimes I'll go straight to the, you know, what if it was your kids or your parents?

[Andy]

Right. Yeah.

[Michael]

Sometimes they'll hold their ground. And I just don't think I could do it. And I don't think anybody really knows probably, until they're pressed into that situation, but.

[Andy]

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because obviously I've never been in a situation like that, so. I don't know.

[Michael]

But take you right down to the Navy recruiter's office. We can handle this. Get you signed up for the SEAL pipeline. I. I don't know if it's legal, but I think we should get you going on a SEAL contract and do open bets, like a grid system. What day will you make it to?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Will you quit? If so, during, whatever. Like, we could have parlays. We could have a variety of different bets.

[Andy]

It's a good idea.

[Michael]

Just do it openly.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

The problem with that is you would be able to see the bets then, too. And I don't want it to influence your training journey.

[Andy]

I don't know if I would be able to see the bets.

[Michael]

No, we could do this completely publicly.

[Andy]

Oh, okay. So I would.

[Michael]

The website would be www.whenwillmichaelquit.com. it's going to be really consumer facing. It's going to be on the nose. There'll be no doubt as to what it is.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's a good idea.

[Michael]

I think you understand this involves you going through seal trading.

[Andy]

Yeah, no, I understand that.

[Michael]

So you're ready for eight weeks of boot camp and whatever the fuck happens after that. They just tell you what they're going to do with your little Goldilocks. They're going to trim you, tops and tails. Your beard's gonna be gone.

[Andy]

I'll do the beard beforehand, but they can take my hair, I guess, if they want to.

[Michael]

How long have you had a beard? I'm just trying to think the last time I saw you with that one.

[Andy]

Yeah, it's been a long time. Probably like three years now.

[Michael]

You're not like a Montana winter person who covers their face from the cold with a beard.

[Andy]

No. Although that does help a lot.

[Michael]

Really?

[Andy]

Yes.

[Michael]

I wouldn't know.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

My beard looks like Abe Lincoln.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

I don't know if you could do it. The seal, the seal pipeline or having to take somebody's life.

[Andy]

Well, yeah, I don't know either. That's. I don't know.

[Michael]

I think it would crumble you.

[Andy]

You mean. Wait, wait, you don't think I could, like, mentally survive the impact of doing that, or do you think I. You don't think I could do it in general?

[Michael]

Yes.

[Andy]

Okay. All right, cool. Yeah, that's good to know.

[Michael]

You're a sensitive soul, you know?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

You're more like a piece of lavender than metal.

[Andy]

Lavender? Yeah, it's a flower.

[Michael]

Soft.

[Andy]

Yeah. Okay.

[Michael]

Supple.

[Andy]

You said a piece of lavender, so.

[Michael]

Look at your fucking shirt. You're going to tell me you're heavy metal?

[Andy]

No, I never claimed to be.

[Michael]

You're a flower for sure. Like, you're not. There's nothing rigid in there. It's just really weird. Striped shirts? Yeah.

[Andy]

I got this online and I was like, hey, this is kind of cool and I'm never gonna wear it again.

[Michael]

What was the website?

[Andy]

It was on Instagram, So.

[Michael]

From China.

[Andy]

Oh, 100. Yeah.

[Michael]

Done some ironclad shows about fast fashion and the impact it has on the environment. Holy. Oh, I bet it's companies like Sheen. I think it's called S H. Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. This isn't from Sheen.

[Michael]

Yeah. But you don't know that.

[Andy]

I. I mean, I assume it's not. The brand wasn't Sheen, but they may have made it.

[Michael]

The brand wasn't Sheen. So I've told you about this. Right. I went over to China when I was working for CrossFit. I went to the facility that they made the Reebok shoes in because I was managing the partnership.

[Andy]

I actually didn't know. I don't know if I knew this.

[Michael]

They will run a line of Reeboks and then they'll run a line of another brands right through there. So although it may not come from the website Sheen, if you. It's kind of, I think similar to a lot of organizations inside of the US There might be different consumer facing outlets.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

But then from there they really triangle up to.

[Andy]

It really just goes up to one. Yeah.

[Michael]

So it actually might literally have been made in exactly the same place, shipped by the same people under a different label.

[Andy]

That. Yeah, I mean, that wouldn't surprise me.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

They don't really. They don't really care about worker. Worker welfare in China.

[Michael]

No. But you're the one supporting them economically, so good job.

[Andy]

Yeah. Well, probably like 80% of the things in this room are made by slave labor. It's kind of unavoidable.

[Michael]

Point something out that's made by slave labor.

[Andy]

Camera right there.

[Michael]

No, it's an American made camera.

[Andy]

Maybe assembled in America.

[Michael]

This is Sony, right?

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

They make those in Witchita.

[Andy]

No, they just pull that out of your ass. Witchita. Yeah. Camera hub came from B and H.

[Michael]

Photo, which is in New York, which everybody should go to their store, by the way. That place is ridiculous.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

You've never been. I was gonna ask you if you've been to New York. I know the answer. No. Yes.

[Andy]

I literally have been to New York.

[Michael]

When?

[Andy]

Two February's ago.

[Michael]

On your way to Italy?

[Andy]

No, like I went there to visit a buddy. I stayed there for like four or five days.

[Michael]

I bet you did, but. And you didn't go to BH photo though.

[Andy]

No, I didn't even know that. That.

[Michael]

You dig electronics, right?

[Andy]

Yeah, I mean, they're cool, that store.

[Michael]

If you're into electronics or you do any type of content stuff, that store will blow your hair back.

[Andy]

They've got.

[Michael]

It's wild.

[Andy]

That's cool.

[Michael]

Yeah, for sure. Lavender. What's your middle name? Actually, don't give it. Because God forbid, I mean, if anybody wants to steal his identity, please Do. I'll actually support you. Yeah, I can give you as like Dob and stuff like that. Just email me. What's your initial gift? Hell no.

[Andy]

Okay. Perfect.

[Michael]

Michael Lav. Michael Shelton. Yeah. I just. I don't see you like a piece of steel. I see you just like in the wind, looking for.

[Andy]

Yeah. Looking for some gentile looking for someone to blow me.

[Michael]

Yes, Looking for. So Michael's mom, just so you know, he said that, not me. This is the son that you raised. He is, to use his words, just out in the sun, looking for somebody to blow him the wind. Okay, can we answer the atomic bomb thing?

[Andy]

We got way off track on that.

[Michael]

I don't know to wrap that one up. Yeah, that's a choice between a shitty choice and a shitty choice.

[Andy]

Yeah, there really is.

[Michael]

Which is what a lot of war is. It's not a good choice or a bad choice. I don't know if you can defend the morality of. Of that level of taking life, even when you look at the math. Did it probably save more lives than it took? Yes. Does that make it morally correct? I guess that depends on the side of the table you're sitting on.

[Andy]

Yeah, for sure. All right. Kind of going off of that.

[Michael]

We just were 3ing it today.

[Andy]

Pretty much. No. So I read a headline that said the United States hasn't minted any new Purple Hearts. They're using a stockpile that they had from an anticipated ground invasion of Japan.

[Michael]

The actual metal itself.

[Andy]

Yeah. The actual metals. Yeah. And I heard that fact and I was like, that is insane if true.

[Michael]

Well, that does kind of tie in. And I think clearly neither you nor I were anywhere near the room where these things were being discussed.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

So I would have to assume, though, if you were a military leader, that that was part of the math that they were looking at. What are our options here? You know, from what I had heard, the estimates, if they were going to do an amphibious invasion of Japan, we're going to be pretty gnarly. Look, actually, so look this up. How many people were wounded in World War II?

[Andy]

Okay, let's see.

[Michael]

You said 75. Well, 75 billion. That was total. Including civilians, I'm gonna bet.

[Andy]

So let's see.

[Michael]

Hundred thousand U.S. service members.

[Andy]

How many, let's see, U.S. soldiers. So approximately 670,000.

[Michael]

Okay, so basically nowhere near what I said. That's service members.

[Andy]

Yes. US Soldiers. Yep.

[Michael]

Holy. I could see them making another couple hundred thousand Purple Hearts. Google how many people were wounded in Vietnam. So let's say they made another. Let's say they made a cool million of them, right? So we'd be 400,000 short.

[Andy]

So let's see. 300,000 wounded during Vietnam.

[Michael]

Okay, so we're at 900,000. Now, I know that there were some people wounded in Panama, Grenada. I mean, we're talking single digits. Desert Storm 1. Google how many people wounded in the global war on terror.

[Andy]

Let's see, 53K.

[Michael]

So if they had ordered a million and minted a million of those, there would be 50,000 more to give.

[Andy]

Yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah, I was.

[Michael]

You know what I think about when it's that though? Where do they store those things? Like a million Purple Hearts? They come in a very small box. It's trying to think if I have something that would be an example. Most awards, they come in, I'm not good with. It's smaller than an 8 and a half. By 11 you'll get a citation, but you get the actual award in a very. Call it twice as wide as an iPhone, probably about as tall and two or three times as thick.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

Where would you keep a million of those?

[Andy]

Fort Knox?

[Michael]

Well, apparently, since there's no more gold in there.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael]

And I have no idea if that's true. Well, I saw a headline that could be wildly, wildly unchecked and inflammatory, so I'm just saying that the government hadn't printed any more Purple Hearts. I tell you what, as far as awards that you do not want to receive, that's pretty high on the list. The old enemy marksmanship award, if you will. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I. I guess I could see that.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

But I also. You can buy a Purple Heart on Amazon.

[Andy]

Really? That's funny.

[Michael]

Pretty. Let's go to Amazon. Do you want one?

[Andy]

I don't want one, no.

[Michael]

Why?

[Andy]

Because I was not wounded in combat.

[Michael]

Whatever. Tim, Full size Purple heart metal?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

1164.

[Andy]

Wow. That is not metal.

[Michael]

Presentation set, $65. That's the box that it comes in. So you get the actual ribbon with the metal on it and then a little standalone ribbon above. Oh, this. Greg Anderson would like this. Mary Windix 15 pack, 0.8 inch healing crystal, natural heart love carved palm worry stone. I'm gonna hope this says chakra. Yeah, chakra, Reiki balancing.

[Andy]

Oh my. You should get him a set.

[Michael]

I'm gonna need you to figure out what his shipping address is and we'll send him like 10 of those.

[Andy]

Oh, we can do that easily. We just send it to his gym.

[Michael]

Yeah, but address it not to him.

[Andy]

Yeah, he'll know.

[Michael]

He'll Address it to somebody else and just say, please present these to Greg. Yeah, that's wild. I guess I could see that. I don't know from logistically though, I don't know if I would consider that to be very plausible.

[Andy]

Yeah. Okay, let's see.

[Michael]

Yeah, that's gnarly.

[Andy]

Google AI says it is true that a significant portion awarded in the post World War II era were drawn from a stockpile produced in anticipation of a ground invasion of Japan.

[Michael]

Operation Goes to show you how many people they thought were gonna. That was gonna be pretty gnarly. If anybody who wants to talk about warfare that I think is almost impossible to understand. I mean, the trench warfare of World War I. Holy dude. But yeah, I can't imagine island hopping in World War II and some of the amphibious landings that involve. In World War II. Yeah, there was a dude. So we were over for Normandy. There was a dude who was. I want to say Iwo Jima. Might have been Pelelu. He was a flamethrower man. Oh, and you said you basically got four 15 second bursts or one really good. His words, not mine. One really good one. I feel like it means a little. You just hold down that trigger, spraying gelatinous gasoline. Hopefully not on your buddies, because that'd be a.

[Andy]

Bet that'd be a bad day, is.

[Michael]

If you're doing like a spraying pass. You just yell my bad as you go over the head.

[Andy]

Sorry, buddy. Yeah. Basically a thing of napalm on your back.

[Michael]

Yeah. I don't think people understand. Like, they think some things that happened in, you know, the post 911 era were pretty gnarly, which they were.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

And I'm taking nothing from anybody. I don't know where the people storming those beaches had like. Did they have their balls in a wheelbarrow next to them? Were they slung on a backpack? I mean, they. Those. Those people did some. That is hard for me to fathom.

[Andy]

Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of a crazy.

[Michael]

Yep.

[Andy]

And they were like 18, 19.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

So wild.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. Yeah, that's wild.

[Michael]

What else you got?

[Andy]

Have you heard of Israeli soldiers shooting at ambulances and paramedics?

[Michael]

Give me some context.

[Andy]

This happened just recently.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

So Red Crescent, which is like the Islam Red Cross.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

Went in to help. I think it was like a car crash or something in Gaza.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

They had lights and sirens.

[Michael]

Yep.

[Andy]

Obviously ambulances. And then they get out of their cars and then there's a video. You hear bullets cracking by and there was Israeli soldiers shooting at them.

[Michael]

Did they hit them?

[Andy]

I Think one of them got. A couple of them got hit. They claim Israel claims that they thought they were Hamas terrorists.

[Michael]

Here's my. I don't have an issue. Here's what I'll say about this. I have personally, with my own eyes, witnessed things like ambulances and hospitals used as. Not the hospital because it's not a maneuvering element, but an ambulance specifically. And I know of many instances of ambulances being used for tactical wartime purposes. So I'm sure it was a real ambulance. I'm sure they did have their lights and sirens on. And again, I'm not familiar enough with the incident to talk specifically about it, but what I can say is just because it appears to be an ambulance does not mean that it couldn't be a weapon of war.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

I'll go all the way back to 2003. Right. The second operation we did in Iraq was the Jessica lynch rescue.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

Which not a shot was fired. We went based off the intel that we had, a much bigger deal was made of it than should have been made of it from at least the actions that we took from the things that happened to Jessica and those other soldiers. Gnarly. The intel that we had was that the hospital was being used as a fedeness staging point, essentially. And when we got into the basement, they had full on sand tables. So think of something like this big, but it had Nazarea laid out, so it had the terrain in the buildings, because what they were doing was in the basement of the hospital. They were planning military operations, for lack of a better term. Well, that. Depending on the angle that you look at it from, you get a video of somebody coming out of a hospital and they get dumped by somebody, and they're like, oh, my God, they just killed somebody coming out of a hospital. Well, yeah, but what was that person doing in the hospital?

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

So that's why I asked you for a little bit more context on stuff like this. You know, is there a history in Israel of Hamas using ambulances for exactly that? Because if there is, how can you fault somebody for having the hairs up on the back of their neck?

[Andy]

Yeah, it's.

[Michael]

I mean, again, war. For people who think that war is a. As a white piece of paper with black writing on it, you are in for the ride of your life.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

So here.

[Andy]

Here's the video of it. Oh, it worked that time.

[Michael]

The video shows Israeli soldiers shooting dead 15 emergency workers in Gaza.

[Andy]

Turn the volume up here.

[Michael]

Dozen paramedics and civil defense workers are answering a call to help the wounded Near Rafah. Israel's military first said this convoy advanced suspiciously towards troops with the lights switched off. But you can see these are marked vehicles and they're wearing reflective uniforms. Then, without warning, this. The shooting continues for more than five minutes. The paramedic who's filming says his last prayers. Refaat Redouan was one of 15 killed. His phone was found in his body and he recorded the whole event. His last words before being shot. Forgive me, Mom. I just wanted to help people. I wanted to save lives. The footage only emerged when teams could safely reached this site seven days later. The bodies were buried along with the vehicles. Yeah, I mean, again, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna defend or justify them losing their life. I'll just point you back to. I have personally seen with my own eyes people who want to do nothing more than harm and destruction using vehicles like that, a convoy like that. And again, I'm not familiar enough with what is going on there, but if you think you're not gonna make mistakes in a war zone, I don't know what to tell you, because you are.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

And here's what I would say, though. So say the Israeli soldiers did that and they killed innocent people. My opinion, which only counts for me, is this. They need to get up in front of that and they need to own it, and they need to admit the fact that it happened. They can do the best they can to try to explain and articulate why they took the actions that they did. Maybe they can talk about the historic activities of Hamas using ambulances, whatever it may be. But you fucking own it.

[Andy]

Yeah. For sure.

[Michael]

And you do the best you can. War isn't precise.

[Andy]

Yeah. I'm saying. Yeah. As if I know what I'm talking about. I'm just agreeing with you.

[Michael]

I know.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

You don't know yet, but we're going to go down to the recruiter's office. That could be a YouTube series in and of itself.

[Andy]

It really could.

[Michael]

Michael joins the Navy.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

I might be able to get the Navy's permission. I'll film you and I'll come to boot camp with you.

[Andy]

Oh, God. I feel like actually I would get more from the other people there because you're there with me.

[Michael]

Yeah. That's the point.

[Andy]

Yeah. Than from you. Yeah.

[Michael]

The documentary is secondary. It's you just getting smashed.

[Andy]

Yeah. Yeah, I know. That'd be a really fun time, I think.

[Michael]

Well, we've clearly identified. You don't know how to swim for. So we really need to work on these deficiencies Yeah.

[Andy]

I mean, I can. I can, like, tread water and swim, but I just don't like doing it, you know?

[Michael]

That's great, seal.

[Andy]

That should get me. Get me by, right?

[Michael]

Sure. Yeah. I. I just, you know, set the bar low and aim to slide right under it.

[Andy]

That's kind of just been my life so far.

[Michael]

No kidding. You're 23 years of 25 performance.

[Andy]

Oh, a. I think this was. Recently, a man tried to scale the White House fence.

[Michael]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. Let me. Let me share this.

[Michael]

Let me guess. He fell from the top.

[Andy]

I don't remember what exactly happened.

[Michael]

I would have somebody out there every day applying a lacquer of Crisco on that thing. And again, these are. This is not. You know, these are not conventional thought process, but I don't like the White House. Should have a 2000 swarm man stuck. Oh, yeah. Let's see. Where'd he get. Oh, boy. Notice how high that fence is.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Oh, boy. Not even using his legs. Interesting technique.

[Andy]

I mean, it looks like it's already pretty slippery. Yeah, he got pretty high, actually, before.

[Michael]

I mean. Yeah, I know exactly where he's at, too. See the guy on the roof already responding.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Yep. Swing your leg over there. Don't get your dick caught on that little fucking knife. Cutting edge. Oh, God. Is he resting his stomach on that? Oh, little sternum hold. Oh, wow.

[Andy]

Hey, There you go. Look at that.

[Michael]

Okay. Leg.

[Andy]

Ooh, That's a recipe for.

[Michael]

Look at that cop. He's like, hey, whenever you're done, dude, just come on. Oh, there's his water bottle. Oh, Yep. Here comes a guy from the other side. Oh, here comes the dog. Yeah. Yep. Notice the top of the fence.

[Andy]

Oh, missing a piece.

[Michael]

2.

[Andy]

2.

[Michael]

I wonder if it's designed to do that.

[Andy]

So people think, like, I wonder if.

[Michael]

The Secret Service would design a fence that's high enough that somebody would try to climb, hang on to those, it would intentionally break and then break their legs.

[Andy]

Oh, that. I could see that. I could see that. Yeah. Did you learn that when you went and visited the service?

[Michael]

Nope.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

Just a hypothesis.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

I mean, that fence is very likely designed to be at a height that is difficult to scale with consequences, and probably designed to fail at certain points to make sure that you fall and injure yourself.

[Andy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Michael]

What they did tell me about, which they deal with often, is little kids that wedge themselves in between and go for a sprint on either the north or south lawn.

[Andy]

What do they even do in that?

[Michael]

Pull that up? It just happened last week, I think they returned the child to the parent. Yeah. There you go. Yep. 13 days ago. Notice that the Secret Service agent is responding in a different fashion than he.

[Andy]

Was the one that grown man does.

[Michael]

He kind of just crawling like, you're all right, buddy? He's just holding him. Literally wedging him over the top of an M4, which I'm here for, actually.

[Andy]

Hilarious.

[Michael]

I don't know. I don't know if you get in trouble as a parent for that.

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, as a parent, I feel like you should be watching your kid and make sure they don't go through the bars of the White House fence.

[Michael]

Yeah. Why don't you have some kids first? Before you say stupid like that, Let me tell you right now, your kids don't listen to you. They don't listen to you at all.

[Andy]

Just do whatever the hell they want.

[Michael]

Yep. All right.

[Andy]

I wish there's video of him actually going through the fence.

[Michael]

They probably didn't catch that.

[Andy]

That's funny, though.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. I think it's all just that it happens. Yeah.

[Michael]

They all have stories of that. Yeah. Little kids come just cruising through and they're like, wow. Going for the fountain.

[Andy]

I mean, it's perfectly child size. Slip right through.

[Michael]

It's designed, I think, more for anti climbing than.

[Andy]

Yes.

[Michael]

Anti child.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

I'm sure you could do both. The problem becomes, then you're not gonna be able to see the White House.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Right. So it's this balance of security. I don't know what people think is going to happen when they make a run for the White House.

[Andy]

It's a long run, too.

[Michael]

It's shorter on the north side.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

But it's a long run on the south side.

[Andy]

Yeah. And it's like.

[Michael]

Do you know that most people think that the Capitol building is actually the White House?

[Andy]

That is hilarious.

[Michael]

And almost often in. In. Almost always in movies, when they're talking about the White House, they'll do like a spiraling shot of the Capitol building.

[Andy]

Yeah. So they're like, oh, that's the one.

[Michael]

Yeah. The White House is very tiny and it looks very different than the Capitol building. But that dome structure, what most people think is the White House, it's not.

[Andy]

Yeah, I've been to the White. Or I've been inside the White House.

[Michael]

Did you go on the tour?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

What'd you see?

[Andy]

Not a whole lot, honestly. I think we saw the. I don't remember exactly which rooms we went on. I mean, it was cool, but it was just like, oh, yeah, this is a slightly larger House.

[Michael]

It's an old house.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

Now, Leon, I got a really cool tour and. Yeah, I mean, I can understand the significance of it.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Honestly, though, it's a little gaudy. It's definitely dated in the architecture, which I can understand.

[Andy]

But the furniture was, like, Victorian. Yeah. And I was like.

[Michael]

To the point of. I don't want to sit on that because George Washington might have. And I don't want the leg to, like, fall off, you know?

[Andy]

Exactly. Yeah, no, it was cool. I went to the Capitol Building, too. Smithsonian, you know.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah. Leah would have gone with you to the Smithsonian.

[Andy]

Yeah, you have. I know you have zero interest in that.

[Michael]

I have interest in it. I don't have six hours of interest in it. I went to museums with Leah. I love going to museums with Leah. I do not like reading every plaque at every exhibit with Leah.

[Andy]

Yeah. I don't do that, but I still love her much. Yeah.

[T Mobile Representative]

Yeah.

[Andy]

All right, let's see here.

[Michael]

Today's episode is brought to you by Mando. You want to talk about cool products? We're going to talk about some cool products. And that's an interesting intro when you're talking about whole body deodorant. Not something I thought I would say in my life ever. But also, I thought deodorant was either a roller or the stick form until Mando sent me a box. Actually, I ordered it because I'm not going to lie, Instagram got me before I ever started working with the brand. And I was using spray deodorant and realizing it's actually kind of awesome. So, yeah, I'm a little bit behind the times on that, but I've definitely upgraded my. I don't want to say my cleanliness game because I do a pretty good job of self care. I don't want to smell like ass, nor do I think anybody does, but my deodorant game has leveled up for sure. What is Mando, you might ask? It is a whole body deodorant, and it was designed by a doctor who noticed that BO body odor, for those of you stinky bastards out there, was being misdiagnosed. It is clinically proven to block odor all day and control odor for up to 72 hours. It is designed, like I said, full body. I'm gonna use their words, pits, balls, thigh folds, belly buttons, butt cracks, and feet, and I guess everything in between. Really explore your space and live your best life. I'm not gonna tell you how you should use deodorant and how you should smell, but don't smell like ass. I think that's a good recommendation for everybody. They have solid deodorants. They have spray deodorants. They have wipe deodorants. All the products are baking soda free and paraben free. They have a variety of fresh scents like bourbon, leather, clover woods, Mount Fuji. Who knows what Mount Fuji smells like? What if you're on the north side of Mount Fuji instead of the south side or the east side? I don't know. Science has no answers to these questions. Or pro sport clinically proven to control odor better than a shower with soap alone. Twelve hours after a shower. This is their words again. The average man's grundle odor level was about a 5 out of a 10. With Mando, the average Grundle odor level is a 0 out of a 10. I'd like to see the double blind study on this. Also, feel free to create your own content. Doing your own study at home with a partner of your choice. If that sounds like something you might want to try, but you don't know where to start. Mando has a starter pack that is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like the mini body wash and deodorant wipes like I was talking about. And free shipping as a special offer for the listeners. New customers are going to get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack using the code cleared hot. All one word. I don't think the capitalization [e-mail] that is S-H-O-P as in Papa Mando. M A N D O dot com. Please support our show and if they ask you, tell them that I sent you. Smell fresh, stay drier and boost your confidence from head to toe with Mando. Let's get back to the show.

[Andy]

Oh, come on. Ooh. I didn't put a link for this. Let me see if I can find it. But this says planes crash into each other while skydiving.

[Michael]

Oh, yeah. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, this is a good day to have a parachute on. I know exactly the video you're gonna pull up.

[Andy]

Let's see. See if this is the one.

[Michael]

See, it did it that time.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

I wonder what that is all about.

[Andy]

I don't know.

[Michael]

All right, so this is a tiny plane. This is a little Cessna. Guys, turn it. He's gonna be front float. He's actually standing on the Wheel. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Giddy up. Watch it. I bet you people just start spilling out of the other plane. Okay, you can see. Pause it.

[Andy]

Hold on.

[Michael]

Hit the spacebar. Go backwards. 15 seconds. God damn it. Scroll the little thing. Stop. See, there they are playing. Okay, so these are smaller airplanes. These are Cessnas for Adam Singer, who is trying to tell me that he was going to get sucked into the propeller of an airplane.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

And the airplane he was telling me about, he claimed that the door was on the right hand side, even though he was talking about a Cessna Caravan, which is a turbine engine, where the door is clearly on the left. I just want to make sure that Adam, if you want to up your lie game, tell him it was a small Cessna. So this is on the right hand side. I bet you these planes that one holds probably four people. So there's a guy out on the front float and then three other people, plus pilot. I bet you they were trying to do a larger formation at a smaller dz. How the two airplanes came in contact with each other is a different story. I don't think there's anything wrong with this. Like, you can do a flight of two. Yeah, I've done this, actually, a little bit in the helicopters. You. You actually tell the tower, hey, you're a flight of two, and you take off together. Whatever.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Whatever clearance they give you is going to apply to both. Hit play on this thing again. I bet you actually. Hold on. Before you do. See how the pilot's looking at the jumpers? Yeah, I bet you he. I bet you not only him, but the pilot in front, which is likely. I would assume that in the airplane in front, the jumpers are getting ready to exit as well. I bet you the pilot in both of those aircraft or watching the jumpers instead of looking out the window.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

So let's watch this, because I was gonna say, how in the hell did that plane get. Oh, you can already see it. It's creeping up.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

That guy is doing what's called a front float. Hit it. Pause. Oh, my God.

[Andy]

Yeah, you can see it right there. It's like impending danger.

[Michael]

Can you back up just a bit? I just want to see which direction the pilot's head's facing. Keep going back. Keep going back. I just want to see which way he's looking. He has his right hand on the throttle, which is good. Keep going back. Use the little. Use the mouse. Touch the dot.

[Andy]

Oh, there we go.

[Michael]

Hard to say he's looking to the right, but hard to say if he's looking at the airplane or the jumpers. Okay. Let's let it ride. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. He flew the airplane. So.

[Andy]

Wow.

[Michael]

Yes. That guy's awesome. So I guess one of three things could have happened. He was creeping right, or the other guy was coming up and left, or both of those things were happening simultaneously. Let me tell you. That's not gonna buff out.

[Andy]

I would say probably not.

[Michael]

Yeah. Let's see this. All right, so they hit.

[Andy]

Sweet burning piece of wreckage.

[Michael]

Yeah. Not yet. Oh, shit. It doesn't have a wing. Whoa. Okay, so one airplane at least has both wings. The other airplane does not.

[Andy]

Yeah. And we'll see how this goes.

[Michael]

Holy. It's actually flying relatively stable, given that it only had one wing. Yeah.

[Andy]

At least they had parachutes.

[Michael]

These guys are all down there. Like, you're not gonna believe what happened. Oh, that's an emergency parachute. So I bet you the pilot bailed. What are you clapping for?

[Andy]

Why?

[Michael]

Why are you clapping? You clapping A guy losing his fucking pilot's license? Because that's what should be happening.

[Andy]

Right?

[Michael]

There was a nice stop. Ooh.

[Andy]

Man.

[Michael]

Well, it looks like everybody lives, so that's a positive there.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

You know how I say every time that skydiving is fun until it isn't?

[Andy]

Yes.

[Michael]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Andy]

This is one of these instances.

[Michael]

This is one of those instances becomes not fun. Everything is fun until it isn't.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

That pilot, thank God he had a parachute on an emergency escape parachute, which was probably around, but good for him, having that on there. I've done dumb in airplanes. I've done dumb skydiving. That is 100 avoidable. I feel like both of those pilots started looking at the jumpers. And because your whole job up there as the pilot is to be. You need to be looking at the other aircraft, Aircraft that you're flying in formation with. That's how fast it can go.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

That was wild. Those people are very lucky to be alive.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Imagine if the other plane had been a little bit farther back and the old spinny part of it had come up to meet the jumpers.

[Andy]

Now, that is a. That's like a valid Adam Singer fear, right?

[Michael]

No, because his theory was that if he let go of the airplane, he.

[Andy]

Would somehow be sucked forward, magically shoot forward. Even though.

[Michael]

Yes. The airplane is going forward into the propeller. Through the wash of the propeller.

[Andy]

Right.

[Michael]

That would be driving you backwards.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Let's also add into this a key factor and feature gravity.

[Andy]

Usually you would just also go down.

[Michael]

You know, unless you're an MMA fighter who thinks that the earth is flat in.

[Andy]

Yeah, in this instance, yeah, there's some conjecture.

[Michael]

But again, Adam, one of the smartest people I know. I'm gonna. The next time I see him, I'm gonna see if I can get him to draw for me what he thought was happening.

[Andy]

Make a little diagram, and we're gonna.

[Michael]

Frame it and put it right next to the flag.

[Andy]

That's a great.

[Michael]

And I want explanations on arrows.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

This is the propeller that I was going to get in front of somehow and be chewed up.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

This is where the door was. It's not where you said it was, Adam. Yeah.

[Andy]

So this is also kind of in the same vein. Did you hear about that YouTuber who intentionally crashed his plane?

[Michael]

I did. And pull that up, because if you can't instantly sniff the. In this video, in this guy's claim, I don't know what to tell you. And I'll show you exactly what I'm talking about.

[Andy]

All right, pulling up now.

[Michael]

Yeah. This guy. I believe we'll look up what happened to him afterwards. Yeah. So this dude, do you have that so the audience could see that? Yeah. Okay, so hit pause. Skydiving parachutes are not comfortable to just sit in a chair in. They are really going to drive you forward. They can kind of push. You know, it's pushes against your posture a little bit. And when you're in the skydiving aircraft, oftentimes it's benches, and you actually sit facing the rear of the aircraft. Okay, Adam. Where the door is. And you slide down. But that's kind of comfortable because you can kind of lean back, and the person behind you, they can lean back, and so on and so forth. I don't know ever why you would wear a skydiving rig to take a personal aircraft that is not a jump aircraft out for a joy flight. Also notice the number of GoPros that are all over this particular aircraft. They all happen to be on. He's in his skydiving rig, and then all of a sudden has a catastrophic malfunction over unpopulated terrain.

[Andy]

How convenient.

[Michael]

And tried to say that he was just capped. It's like, dude, you actually honestly could probably get permission from the FAA to do shit like this. I know people who have ridden cars out of the back of airplanes in free fall. There's things you have to do. You have to make sure they're not going to land on anything. They might not let you do something as extreme as this. Yeah, but I mean, don't piss on me and tell me that it's raining. This guy was so utterly full of.

[Andy]

Yeah. I think he ended up owning up to it.

[Michael]

Event. Well, yeah.

[Andy]

Because after everybody was like, what first, though?

[Michael]

And I'm speaking a little bit about a turn because I watched some of these videos first though, What? He tried to do one, he went to the wreckage and recovered all of his GoPros. Then he tried to move the wreckage with a friend of his. Yeah. Because he didn't want the NTSB to do an after action on it.

[Andy]

Oh, interesting.

[Michael]

So he did a lot of shit that as an innocent person you wouldn't feel the need to do.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

I mean, whatever. If you want to be a fucking stuntman. Yeah. He admits to deliberately crashing plane.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

To get YouTube. Scroll down YouTube.

[Andy]

What?

[Michael]

Say likes. Oh, damn it.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

He pleads guilty. Yeah. Because watch. Oh, what do you go back to that a little bit?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

The multiple different. Okay. Oh, look, left wing just got a camera on. Oh, let's switch to our.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Left aileron. Yeah. It's like, come on, dude. But my understanding is he then tried to hide all of the information. Like, ah, you know, I got those cameras. We're good. Oh, no, the wreckage can't be found. It was.

[Andy]

Right.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

But he got the cameras. Thank God.

[Michael]

Yeah. Dude, people do crazy for clout. They do. So actually. So I just had a speech in Coeur d'alene over. What day is today? Wednesday. The speech was Monday. I flew the helicopter out there Sunday, flew it back Monday.

[Andy]

Nice.

[Michael]

I'm in the process of putting together a video with the helicopter. Just because it. It's a cool. It's another cool, creative way to figure out a way to make content. And it's just a cool way to travel. I got there in like 65 minutes, which was unbelievable.

[Andy]

That's awesome. Yeah.

[Michael]

There are some GoPros in the helicopter. They are set and forget.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

If I fly, if I take off and I forget to turn it on, I'm not reaching back to fucking turn it on. If I miss the shot, I fucking miss the shot.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

I have watched people do the dumbest shit humanly possible. And sometimes I was watching myself.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

For video. And I'm at a point now and my risk tolerance is like, listen, it's cool to capture some of that stuff, but I won't go out of my way to do it. And if it gets the shot, it gets the shot. If it doesn't, I don't fucking care. I'd rather Live to fly another day. Yeah, but this type of stuff, I mean, come on, man.

[Andy]

So unnecessarily risky and also just stupid.

[Michael]

He was only risking himself. I guess he could have started a fire. But to think that you are gonna put that on the Internet and that only buffoons are gonna watch it. It only takes one skydiver to look.

[Andy]

At that and say, that makes no sense.

[Michael]

I'll be like, why would you fly your plane with your rig on? Like, it is the most uncomfortable thing to do.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Not only that, it changes where you sit in the seat. So you'd be, like, jammed up against the controls. It wouldn't even be comfortable.

[Andy]

Yeah, I. Well, and that's the thing is, like, I heard. The first thing I heard from people, like, doing videos about this is you would never, ever fly a plane with your skydiving rig.

[Michael]

No. It's the most uncomfortable shit ever.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

You know a great stat, the number of people who think that they could land a commercial airliner in the event of an emergency. I believe it is 80% of people think that given absolutely no training.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

If for whatever reason, they would come over the PA and say, is there anybody on here who is a game time player? Because we need somebody.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Left seat. To go ahead and grease one here into Salt Lake City.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Fuck. I would. I would. I mean, that would be a great. Actually. That would be a great. And I bet you this has been done. That would be an amazing YouTube series. Talking with people. And then throw them into a level D simulator, which is what you get your rating in.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

And just put them. Put them 30 miles out from Salt Lake City or LAX. Crazy long runways. And just say, you got it, dude.

[Andy]

Yeah. Go for it.

[Michael]

Yeah. And, oh, by the way, beep. Your autopilot just shut off. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking. Good luck. Good luck.

[Andy]

I feel like I could figure out, like, pitch, roll, and yaw.

[Michael]

Why do you feel that?

[Andy]

Because that seems pretty intuitive. Right.

[Michael]

So understanding pitch roll in y'all might seem intuitive. Do you think you could control pitch roll?

[Andy]

That's the thing. I don't know. I.

[Michael]

What controls yaw in an airplane?

[Andy]

Yaw is this way. Pitch. No, that's pitch. Yaw is this way.

[Michael]

You fucking.

[Andy]

The pedals. The pedals.

[Michael]

You describe pedals.

[Andy]

It's the.

[Michael]

Was the camera on you when you were doing this saying, yaw is this way. Thank God. That' okay.

[Andy]

Which is the in and out of the. Of the the. It's not called a steering wheel.

[Michael]

How about we call it a yoke?

[Andy]

The Yoke. Roll is you roll the yoke. Yaw is you push the pedals.

[Michael]

What causes the roll?

[Andy]

The ailerons on the. Or the flaps on the wings.

[Michael]

If an aileron goes up on the right wing, which way do you roll?

[Andy]

Boom. You're gonna go left. Right.

[Michael]

It's the correct answer. But why?

[Andy]

Because the air is pushing. Comes in, it's pushing down against it, which forces the wing to go that way.

[Michael]

Sure, I'll let you get away with that answer in a typewriting course.

[Andy]

So you think I can get type rated?

[Michael]

Oh, yeah, for sure. God, that would be another thing. Can somebody please put me in contact with flight safety? I'm willing to pay for it, but maybe they could sponsor a video series of you just fucking blowing up airplanes in a simulator. Like, can we take.

[Andy]

That would be so fun. That's what I would say, that I would do that.

[Michael]

Somebody please put me in contact with a training company that will let Michael and I for a couple of days in your off time. I just want to film Michael fucking blowing up in the simulator.

[Andy]

That would be fun.

[Michael]

I'm willing to pay for it. I mean, I'm not willing to pay an immense amount of money for it.

[Andy]

I'm absolutely 100% willing to do that. That would be so much fun.

[Michael]

People have no idea how fucking hard it is.

[Andy]

Well, yeah, that's what I was saying. I think people just think about that. But then there's the whole control panel. And then also what I don't understand is flaps. When you do flaps, when you're taking off and landing and why do you do flaps? Yeah, why you need them and all.

[Michael]

That stuff, it changes the contour of the wing. It allows you to create more lift at a slower air speed.

[Andy]

Okay. Okay. So when you're taking off, you want them because you can create more lift when you're going slower.

[Michael]

Well, you want to get off the ground, you're safer. You know, you want to get through V1, which is your safety go, no go speed, you get to V rotate or VR, you come up. As soon as you get positive rate of climb, the gear is going to come up. And usually between 1 to 400ft, you'll put the flaps up as you're accelerating.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

It allows you, as if you think about it, the phases of flight where they're using flaps are when you're slower. So they are extending the flaps as you're landing as well, because you don't want to land at cruise speed.

[Andy]

Gotcha.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. Well, now I know. So with that knowledge, I probably could land a Boeing 747. I would. I would think.

[Michael]

747.

[Andy]

Yep.

[Michael]

Pull up the cockpit of an A380. This is what I want to get you in.

[Andy]

Okay. Oh, my.

[Michael]

Yeah, Pull that up there.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

You remember you get zero training on this when you're thrown into.

[Andy]

Oh, whoa.

[Michael]

We're exploring new space.

[Andy]

Where'd it go? I don't know.

[Michael]

Drag it again. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, yeah. Yep, yep. Click on that.

[Andy]

That is. Oh, my. Whoa.

[Michael]

They have a keyboard that's.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

So here's the thing. Oh, that's a control yoke, too. It's a control stick side yoke. So that's either a right hand stick for the right hand guy. Left. Or the left hand stick for the left guy.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

So, yeah, you're gonna get no training and you're gonna get. Put a 25 mile final from Salt Lake City at 25,000ft.

[Andy]

Okay. As long as it doesn't. There's no possible way for those things to get damaged, right? The simulators?

[Michael]

I would hope not.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

Because, I mean, I'm not an expert.

[Andy]

On the crash land.

[Michael]

That thing will be your first move. When they say, three, two, one, go. What is your first move?

[Andy]

Figure out how far away I am.

[Michael]

From the 25 miles.

[Andy]

25 miles? I feel like that's a very short distance. It is, yeah.

[Michael]

50. We'll give you some more time.

[Andy]

Okay, so my first move would.

[Michael]

Looking at this, where do you go first, Michael?

[Andy]

You know, I would probably type into the keyboard.

[Michael]

No, no, you're dead. Which keyboard? Look down below the fms. There's multiple FMS and keyboards down below.

[Andy]

Oh, my.

[Michael]

Yeah, there is indeed.

[Andy]

Oh, this is. This controls your speed here. Right.

[Michael]

Also known as the throttles.

[Andy]

What do you think the numbers are on those engines?

[Michael]

Probably good, man. So you're gonna leave them in that setting. Are you just gonna go fucking warp speed?

[Andy]

I'll probably slow it down a little bit.

[Michael]

You're gonna push that little red button on the side there.

[Andy]

I'm trying to remember what that is.

[Michael]

It could be a couple of things. It could be your togo button, take off, go around button. Or it could be your autopilot or your auto throttle button.

[Andy]

Okay. In that case, probably not.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

So I would probably slow her down.

[Michael]

How much?

[Andy]

Couple knots.

[Michael]

Couple knots.

[Andy]

All right.

[Michael]

When you get this handed over, you're doing 450.

[Andy]

450 knots?

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Probably slow down to like 200 knots.

[Michael]

What's the stall speed? In a clean configuration, probably like 100 knots. Perfect.

[Andy]

Okay, so, yeah, probably slow her down. Bring the nose up, because I'm going to be landing. Oh, I probably need to put the.

[Michael]

You're 50 miles out, sir.

[Andy]

Yeah, I know what I'm doing.

[Michael]

Okay, so you'll slow to 200 and bring the nose up.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Somebody please figure out a way that we can fucking. I will not give him any training. We will put this. We'll put him into this blind hell.

[Andy]

Yeah. And then I need to get the landing gear down, see if you can find it. Which. Let's see here. I feel like this is too blurry for me to find.

[Michael]

No, I can see it right now.

[Andy]

Fascinating.

[Michael]

Come on. It's not down there. Closer. Closer. Nope. Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Getting warmer. Those are your engine gauges. Colder.

[Andy]

God. Oh, right here, Right here. Found it. Yes.

[Michael]

It's almost. The thing that has a little wheel on it.

[Andy]

Yeah, I just didn't. I just didn't know that because the picture's so blurry, you know?

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah, that. That's totally reasonable.

[Andy]

Yeah. I could probably definitely land a plane. No, specifically this one.

[Michael]

How would you determine where the airport is?

[Andy]

By looking at the little map right here.

[Michael]

Okay. I think that's currently on its weather setting, but, you know, I'll switch it.

[Andy]

I'll switch it to maps.

[Michael]

Really? Which keyboard would you use for that?

[Andy]

This is probably a touchscreen, though.

[Michael]

No.

[Andy]

Probably this one.

[Michael]

I would guess that's probably it. Yeah, that actually. That bubble thing right there, I think is probably a mouse.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.

[Michael]

I mean, hey, you'd have 50 miles figured out.

[Andy]

That's true. Yeah. Which I feel like would. What's that? What you think, like 5 minutes, 10 minutes?

[Michael]

The fuck is wrong with you? 50 miles at 400 knots is not 5 minutes. Plus, you've already determined that you're gonna stall this and immediately slow to 200 knots and nose up for reasons nobody understands.

[Andy]

I meant nose up when I'm about to land. That's what I meant.

[Michael]

Okay. Zoom out a little bit. I'm not even gonna bother to ask you where you think the flaps are, because you would need those for landing, too. But my guess is it's one of the two handles down low.

[Andy]

These ones?

[Michael]

Yeah, that's.

[Andy]

That's what I was going to say.

[Michael]

One of them is probably the speed break, and the other one is probably the flap setting. My guess would be. Would be the one on the right.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

What else do you have for today, Michael? How long we've been at it?

[Andy]

57 minutes.

[Michael]

I don't know if. I mean, let's just take it to an hour. I don't know if people.

[Andy]

Sounds good. How about. This is like kind of a sad video, but also kind of funny. Have you seen the video of that, like, soccer mom that tries to do an MMA fight with an actual MMA fighter?

[Michael]

How does that go?

[Andy]

It does not go her way.

[Michael]

Why do people think that they know how to fight?

[Andy]

I don't know. I'm not quite sure.

[Michael]

I love that you just put into Google soccer mom fights mma.

[Andy]

I mean, that's pretty much what happens.

[Michael]

This is in the UK. That makes sense. Brutally code in 10 seconds. I mean, I have 10 seconds. Let's watch this.

[Andy]

I don't know if we'll go up.

[Michael]

Oh, it was down, down, down, down, down, down more.

[Andy]

Oh, yes, Right here. Oh, I don't know if it'll be the video.

[Michael]

Go to YouTube.

[Andy]

Yeah. Oh, wait, is that it?

[Michael]

Oh, mother of God. Reddit.

[Andy]

I hate Reddit.

[Michael]

The guy's like, hey, do you really want to do this? Is this actually something that you want to do?

[Andy]

Oh, no, she.

[Michael]

To be honest, confidence wise, it's not super inspiring.

[Andy]

Yeah, she doesn't look very confident in that.

[Michael]

No. Are you aware that you're putting your. My email address and your email address up there for everybody to see? Just, you know, in the upper right hand corner?

[Andy]

Pretty much everybody already knew that.

[Michael]

Yeah. Just email Michael with dick pics. Thanks. Oh, right in the throat. Oh, Jesus. Oh, wow.

[Andy]

She like.

[Michael]

Man, she took a right hook on the chin on her knees.

[Andy]

Oh, man.

[Michael]

Yeah, let's watch that again.

[Andy]

Yeah. I don't know if she really knew what she was signing up for.

[Michael]

No. Are you ready? No, she's not.

[Andy]

Her outfit too, is interesting.

[Michael]

God. You see this? The difference in efficiency of movement and somebody who's trained versus somebody who doesn't. Where they carry their hands, how they move. Why do people think they can fight? Also don't fight. Go learn how to fight so you can kick everyone's ass and then just don't fight.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's a good call.

[Michael]

It's like, I have no desire to fight anybody. All I do is fight my friends for fun. I'll be honest with you. I don't think jiu jitsu should be called fighting.

[Andy]

It's really not.

[Michael]

It's not fighting.

[Andy]

It's really not.

[Michael]

Yeah. I actually don't like the fact that I use that term. I train with my friends almost every day.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

And I have no desire to fight anybody. Probably because I chat with my Friends every day.

[Andy]

Yeah. You don't need to.

[Michael]

Yeah. But I mean, if you're in the UK and you get the chance, I feel like, go to town maybe.

[Andy]

I feel like she is in, like a kind of a seedy gym and the coach is like, yeah, you should definitely do this.

[Michael]

I have no explanation for it. I don't either, other than I can see somebody, like, demanding to get the opportunity and being such a pain in the ass.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

That somebody says, you know what?

[Andy]

All right, I got you. Yeah.

[Michael]

We're gonna go ahead and hook it up. Yeah. She's gonna have a headache for a good seven days.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Probably some light sensitivity.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Maybe a liquid diet for a touch.

[Andy]

I think she got a pretty good concussion in that.

[Michael]

About 10 seconds.

[Andy]

Yeah. It did not take long.

[Michael]

Yeah, that's the thing, too. In the street, you have no idea who does train and who doesn't.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Why take that risk? Imagine, like, thinking you're Johnny Badass and coming up against some Golden Gloves, like, college boxer. My God. Just getting absolutely tuned. Why?

[Andy]

Yeah, there's no reason for it.

[Michael]

There's no reason for it at all. What else? How's the dating scene going, Michael?

[Andy]

That was average. Not really. Trying incredibly hard.

[Michael]

What does that even mean? Does this mean you hang out by yourself?

[Andy]

No, I have friends, even though you may find that hard to believe.

[Michael]

What do you guys do?

[Andy]

Just hang out, get a beer, play guitar.

[Michael]

You know, you guys play the same guitar or you jam?

[Andy]

We jam. Play the same guitar.

[Michael]

I don't fucking know. You have weird friends.

[Andy]

You've never met my friend.

[Michael]

Correct. But I'm making a guess that they're weird.

[Andy]

Okay, sounds good.

[Michael]

I see you guys playing Dungeons and Dragons. Somebody's over there with a fucking mandolin. Fucking cloak. Just.

[Andy]

My brother has a mandolin, actually.

[Michael]

Who does?

[Andy]

My brother.

[Michael]

Which one? Toothless?

[Andy]

No, Younger Kurt.

[Michael]

I don't know any of your brother's names.

[Andy]

Right.

[Michael]

I know one of them was an MC at a wedding that you didn't pay attention to. Another one is Toothless and works for Montana Knife Company. Not Toothless. He's missing a tooth.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Yeah. And then, I don't know. I can't keep track of the shell tie.

[Andy]

Yeah, there's a whole four of them.

[Michael]

I'm still down to do a full shell tie episode. Bring all four brothers in here. Are they all of age now?

[Andy]

Yes.

[Michael]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Andy]

So, yeah, we could definitely set that up.

[Michael]

What the would we talk about?

[Andy]

Dude, I don't know where that would go.

[Michael]

I'M here for it, though. So what people have been asking for, and we're gonna have to put this together, is you, me, Leah, and my dad. I don't know what we call that. First off, people out there, my dad is under the impression that his name is Flintlock. He came into the coffee shop. Oh, everybody, Flintlock's here. And I'm looking at him.

[Andy]

What?

[Michael]

Oh, that's what everybody calls me. Not a single person has ever called you that. That's what you called me on the episode. I said, no, I called the episode Flintlock Friday because that was cutting edge technology when you were young. Yeah, he still believes that. To his fans, he is Flintlock. So, yeah, I'm glad that everybody enjoys him for short bursts on the podcast because I have to deal with the fucking aftermath. And so do you, actually.

[Andy]

Yeah. Not as much as you, though. So I'm just. I'm insulated from it to a degree.

[Michael]

We all are. Fuck. So part of me that looks forward to being that age and just trying to absolutely ruin my children's lives.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's hilarious.

[Michael]

Like, Tyler's looking to get an apartment in Bozeman.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael]

I cannot wait until he gets one and, like, decks it out. I am gonna go down there and steal every one of his charging cables, half of his forks, a couple of his socks. Just his house up. Yeah, and him. But why? But why? Like, you know why.

[Andy]

This is. This is what's coming.

[Michael]

So. All right, that's all I have for today.

[Andy]

Awesome.

[Michael]

All right.

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