Semi Auto Friday - With Michael Shelton

Summary

Cleared Hot: Episode Summary – "Semi Auto Friday with Michael Shelton"

Release Date: January 31, 2025
Host: Andy Stumpf
Guest: Michael Shelton

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Introduction

In this episode of Cleared Hot, titled "Semi Auto Friday with Michael Shelton," host Andy Stumpf collaborates with guest Michael Shelton to delve into a variety of pressing topics. This episode marks a departure from Andy’s usual solo segments, introducing a multi-generational dialogue that bridges Andy’s extensive military and leadership experience with Michael’s contemporary perspectives.

Segment 1: Helicopter and Jet Crash Analysis

Key Discussion Points:

• Recent Aviation Incident: Andy and Michael analyze a recent helicopter and jet collision in Washington D.C., exploring possible causes and the implications of human error in such tragedies.
• Aviation Complexity: Andy demonstrates the intricacies of airspace management using aviation software, highlighting how crowded and regulated areas like D.C. can increase the risk of accidents.
• Political Polarization: The hosts express concern over the immediate politicization of aviation disasters, emphasizing the importance of objective analysis over partisan blame.

Notable Quotes:

• Andy [07:22]: "Politicizing this doesn't help anybody heal. It's grotesque to see people trying to weaponize something that is such a tragedy."
• Michael [19:27]: "That tower was full of people who were experienced. It has nothing to do with anything that Trump could have done in the first eight days of his presidency to cause this."

Segment 2: Mental Health Advocacy

Key Discussion Points:

• Importance of Mental Health: Andy introduces a listener’s concern about a friend struggling with mental health issues and seeks Michael’s insights to address the situation effectively.
• Generational Perspectives: Michael shares his experiences with therapy, noting a positive shift in his generation towards openness in discussing mental health.
• Therapeutic Benefits: The conversation underscores the value of professional counseling and the necessity of finding the right therapist to facilitate personal growth and healing.

Notable Quotes:

• Andy [35:08]: "If you're able to somehow decipher my murmurs and encompass a bit of message into the next Full Auto or Bolt Action, if you will."
• Michael [37:02]: "It's a big step, I think."

Segment 3: Military Service and Recruitment

Key Discussion Points:

• Military Perception: Michael reflects on his early admiration for the military, influenced by childhood perceptions, and how his understanding evolved with deeper knowledge of American military involvement.
• Generational Shift: Discussion on how current military recruitment strategies resonate with younger generations, including inclusivity efforts like LGBTQ advertisements.
• Commitment to Service: Michael expresses conditional willingness to join the military in the face of existential threats, emphasizing personal commitment over recruitment messaging.

Notable Quotes:

• Michael [22:39]: "Well, when the United States was actually like under threat of invasion, that's when I'd be like, okay, yeah, it's time, you know."
• Andy [25:10]: "The messaging has shifted over the years, and it hasn't been discussed much with your generation."

Segment 4: Love and Relationship Advice

Key Discussion Points:

• Handling Rejection: Andy presents a listener’s dilemma about coping with unreciprocated love, seeking Michael’s advice on moving forward.
• Emotional Processing: The hosts discuss strategies for dealing with heartbreak, including emotional acknowledgment and the importance of letting go.
• Modern Relationship Dynamics: Exploration of contemporary views on marriage and relationships among younger generations, highlighting influences of personal experiences like divorce.

Notable Quotes:

• Andy [46:43]: "What should a 30-year-old man do when the woman that he's fallen in love with rejects him?"
• Michael [53:37]: "If they wanted to, they would."

Conclusion

Andy and Michael wrap up the episode by reflecting on the depth and breadth of their conversation, acknowledging the value of intergenerational dialogue in addressing complex issues. They encourage listeners to provide feedback on the new collaborative format, hinting at potential future collaborations to further engage with diverse perspectives.

Final Notable Quote:

• Andy [61:15]: "What do you think? Something with like a bolt action rifle. That's all I can think of right off the top of my head."

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This episode of Cleared Hot offers a multifaceted exploration of aviation safety, mental health, military service, and personal relationships, enriched by the dynamic interplay between Andy Stumpf and Michael Shelton. Their candid discussions aim to provide listeners with both analytical insights and empathetic advice, fostering a deeper understanding of the topics at hand.

Transcript

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[Andy]

Ladies and gentlemen, good morning and welcome back Friday programming for today. I haven't yet decided as I'm recording this what we're going to call the episode, so I'm not really sure what it's going to be titled. If you follow the show, you know that on Fridays I will often answer questions, questions received from the listeners or viewers. I call them full Auto Friday as in a rapid fire response. I was thinking about this. You know, Michael is two decades younger than me and I believe it was actually input from the listeners that suggested maybe bring Michael in and get his opinion on some of this stuff. And I thought it was a really good idea because the way I think about things and the way that younger generations think about things, they're different. I think it's a cool concept. I don't know how many times we're going to do it. Give me some feedback as to whether or not you liked it or not. I picked some issues that I have talked about not at length but enough times that people might recognize them. And then I brought them over to the world of hey, what do you think about this Michael? What is your generation? What words do they use? What vernacular do they use? How do they describe this? And I thought it was really cool. I enjoyed it. The time flew by. We did almost an hour and I'm rambling at this point so let's get ready to get into it now before we get into it. How am I able to bring this podcast to you for free? I have sponsors and I have ads. So do me a favor, if you like the show, consider supporting the sponsors. And on that note, please give me the next 60 to 90 seconds to open with today's sponsor of the show and then we'll get right back into it. Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, today's episode is brought to you by Peak. Now, I've been talking about this brand for the past month. They are the purveyors of some of the finest teas. And people might say, andy, but you're a coffee guy. And I am a coffee guy, but I am open to new things and I am trying to figure out the best way to ruthlessly go after my health and wellness. Probably started in 2024 after my stomach surgery and beyond. I'm really digging the product. I've switched it up in my morning routine. I am making one of these teas specifically from their Pu erh tea bundle in the morning and then I'm having my coffee a little bit later in the day. You might ask yourself, what is a pu'er tea bundle? I'm going to read this so I get it exactly correct. It's a duo of green and black Pu erh teas designed to transform your gut health, support your metabolism, enhance your overall vitality. Now, you might be looking to do the same thing that I am. Maybe you're looking at gut health, maybe you're looking at longevity, maybe you're looking at convenience. Because I tell you what, this is convenient, this little sachet that they come in. I actually have these in my laptop case and it's super easy to make these teas, especially if you get the bundle that comes with the offer. It comes with a frother and a beaker that you can make this stuff in. You just pour in hot water. I guess you could make it with cold water, but don't, don't do that. I don't know if tea is good like that. So again, gut health, longevity, convenience. It can help you microbiome reset if that's what you're looking to do. It can help with your energy and mood, it can help with your immune support. And the quality of the tea is without question. It's sourced and harvested from 250 year old trees for an unmatched purity and nutrient density. And they've innovated how they get it out. They use a cold extraction technology which retains maximum phytonutrients. This stuff is awesome. I'VE had gut issues for a long time and I am using this as a tool to attack that and it's helping. So here's their offer for you. If you're ready to elevate your day and transform your health. For a limited time, you can get 20% off on the Puair bundle, plus a free starter kit with with a rechargeable frother and glass beaker. That's what I was talking about. Super easy and convenient to make this stuff. Using my link, head to peaklife.com Cleared Hot that is Peak Life P I Q U E Life normal spelling.com Cleared Hot to claim this offer today, let's head back into the show. Okay, got the red smoke. Sun runs north and south west of the smoke, west of the smoke. Okay, copy. West of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now.

[Michael]

Give it to me. I mean, it can't be cleared out.

[Andy]

Most days I dress by picking in the dark. What T shirt is on the top of the pile?

[Michael]

Yeah, no, I can tell.

[Andy]

Do you know what that leads to also is that I do laundry and I refold it and I put it on top. It leads me to wearing, like, the same four things because I never get to the bottom of the pile because I do laundry before the pile actually gets halfway down.

[Michael]

Yeah, I've kind of noticed that. Two outfits. You're like a cartoon character.

[Andy]

I don't really have a justification or argument against that. I just truly don't give a shit what I look like.

[Michael]

Yeah. It's just the truth.

[Andy]

Here's my thought on this. First off, traditionally these are called Full Auto Friday, where it's just me talking to me, answering questions. Though I think given our generational difference, you're 23, I'm 47. You'll be 23 for as long as I know you. So I know you're 25.

[Michael]

I just, I. I actually did miss that. But yeah, we'll just say 23.

[Andy]

Couple. A couple decade gap in between. I think it would be interesting to bring you in on your perspective on some topics from time to time.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

When it's just me, it's Full Auto Friday.

[Michael]

Okay. Oh, boy.

[Andy]

Why do we call it when it's you?

[Michael]

I thought you had one picked out.

[Andy]

No. Do we call it Semi Auto Friday? Do we call it, like, Barely Functional Weapon Friday?

[Michael]

Yeah, like Malfunction Friday?

[Andy]

No, we don't have to start off negative like that. We could call it just Bolt Action Friday. You're just a single shot, you know? I mean, you're not full auto, but maybe one day you're working your way towards it.

[Michael]

Yeah. I was hoping to get to semi auto.

[Andy]

That's fair.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

All right. Where do you think we should start today?

[Michael]

I don't know. You've got the questions.

[Andy]

Have you looked at the news at all today?

[Michael]

The helicopter crash. Man and jet crash.

[Andy]

Yes, the collision. Holy cow. First off, let's start with could it possibly be more of a catastrophe, like, horrendously catastrophic? And I wake up and my fault for even looking on social media for anything, which I generally do, just to kind of get a sense of what's going on. And I am. I am shocked at the velocity that people politicized what happened.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

It is instantaneous. And I can't even fathom, again, this. This goes back to. Probably nobody ever wants the media or the world to really know their name. I can't imagine that level of scrutiny. But for them to. Eventually, they'll end up knowing their name because of an absolute horrible catastrophe that happened. That doesn't help anybody heal. Yeah, politicizing. This doesn't help anybody heal. The I. People are saying, you know, Trump has blood on his hands. Seriously. The other side is saying Biden has blood on his hands. And I don't. It is grotesque to me to see people trying to politicize something that is such a tragedy. I wonder if even all of the families yet have been notified. I mean, there's probably a pretty good chance they've done some reverse engineering and backwards math on that.

[Michael]

I'm sure.

[Andy]

But still, can you fathom having to deal with that? And then if you were to make the mistake to go onto social media and watch people weaponizing and politicizing it.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

It's insane. So I. I made a tweet, and it basically was like, hey, for all you that woke up you newfound aviation Experts with about 12 hours under your belt, you might want to take a deep breath.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

And relax a little bit, because this isn't political. There's nothing that Trump did that could have caused this.

[Michael]

Yeah. That's the thing. It's like, how do you make that connection?

[Andy]

I think that is just how some people are viewing the world.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I think people are frustrated. I think that they're angry. I think that they align very closely with a team or a party, and that's kind of how they view the world. And honestly, maybe we. Let's start by breaking down a little bit. Switch seats with me for a second, because I'm actually. I'm gonna hop over Here and take over. Here's why. I'm gonna pull up some aviation software that explains actually the complexity of the airspace. Because I want to break down for people how this. Actually everything I'm about to say when I break this down. I am operating under an assumption that has yet to be proven true. But I suspect that it will be. And the assumption is, is that both aircraft were functioning as normal. There was not a malfunction with the aircraft. If that is the case, this is going to come down to human error.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

And that's. It's an absolute catastrophe. But that human error, people. Well, how can that possibly happen? Let me take five minutes to unpack the DC airspace. Let's switch seats for a second. Oh, sweet. I'm in control. Hold on. I can hit these buttons. Yes. Okay.

[Michael]

It's pretty complicated back there, so bear.

[Andy]

With me, everybody here. As I log on, I'm logging on to a software called Foreflight. For those of you who are just now starting your aviation journey, you are so lucky. Oh, man. When I first started, I was at the tail end of this. But you just have paper charts for everything. And if you had to do a cross country, there was a chance that you had to have multiple papal charts and you'd have to like fold them as you crossed over charts and then you could get lost on which chart you were on. Then the charts are only valid for a certain period of time. So you have to. It's wild. So this software is pretty amazing. I'm gonna log in here. Did you. Okay, the TV is on. Yeah.

[Michael]

You just have to drag it over to the left.

[Andy]

Drag the whole thing over to the left?

[Michael]

Yeah, just the whole browser window.

[Andy]

The whole browser window. Okay.

[Michael]

And you'll find out. Yep. See, that's what I have to deal with every time.

[Andy]

Enhance. Okay. How? What?

[Michael]

So drag it like all the way over? Yes.

[Andy]

Don't. You're not the boss of me.

[Michael]

Now let go. Yep. Then you have to drag it back this way and then just double click that tab right there.

[Andy]

Where?

[Michael]

The top tab.

[Andy]

It looks to me like I've nailed it.

[Michael]

Yeah, There you go.

[Andy]

Okay, so how do I switch over?

[Michael]

So it should be number four on.

[Andy]

The learning shit here. Okay.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

For people who are not watching this, I don't know if anything I'm going to say for the next few minutes is going to make sense.

[Michael]

I don't think so.

[Andy]

I don't think so either. So let's come over here. We're going to go to the search bar kdca that's going to be the airport designator for where this occurred.

[Michael]

Oh, my.

[Andy]

That. So this is going to probably depend on what settings I have open right now.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

That is air traffic currently in the air in the United States. Let me try to zoom this.

[Michael]

That's crazy.

[Andy]

Okay, now. Yeah. 9.80 for Jet A. My God, people. What is wrong with you?

[Michael]

Oh, is that what those. That's gas prices.

[Andy]

Yeah, I think I have it. Again, this is going to be in my personal settings for what I have right now. Okay. I need to come in here, though, and I need to take off. So that red circle, what you're seeing is a presidential tfr, which temporary flight restriction.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

So I'm going to turn this off. That follows him anywhere that he is. Oh, and this is how you end up getting escorted by F18s.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Because people don't check this from time to time, even though all of these tools exist.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

And it is very possible for people to look this up, especially electronic area. They don't.

[Michael]

They just fly into it.

[Andy]

They bust it all the time. Not trying to, like, threaten the President, but they just don't. They don't take a look at it. It's in the NOTAM system, which used to be noticed to airmen, and I think now it's noticed to air missions because that's less.

[Michael]

Right.

[Andy]

Whatever.

[Michael]

More politically correct, I guess.

[Andy]

So let me turn that off because this. Okay. Boom. So that goes away. That's a presidential TFR.

[Michael]

So wouldn't that always be over D.C. though?

[Andy]

No, because he travels.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

So he just was in Los Angeles checking out the fire so that TFR will overlay. Then he went to Vegas and spent the night. That TFR overlay. Oh, I have a VFR flyaway on here right now. Hold on. This is. I mean, and this is how wild this stuff can be. US ifr. I have helicopter on. I'll turn that off. Okay. This is what our national airspace system looks like from a chart perspective. And I'll break this down a little bit and explain why D.C. is so complex. This is the Washington D.C. area. Okay. Let's go to Missoula. And you're going to get a better idea.

[Michael]

Yeah. Because this. This is a lot looking at.

[Andy]

There's a lot.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay, here's Missoula.

[Michael]

Okay. That's a little. Little simpler.

[Andy]

Yeah, it's a little simpler because it's one airport. However, this is a tower controlled airport. And it's certain hours. This blue ring means that that's class Delta airspace.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

Outside of that there is Echo airspace, which is still Control Golf, which is considered uncontrolled. This right here is a little corridor of Class E or Echo airspace that can be used for instrument approaches.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

I think I have traffic on right now, so I bet you I can get what that is. That is Alaska Airlines.

[Michael]

Oh, that's cool.

[Andy]

Okay, so they're going to Seattle. I don't know what the identifier FLL is. No, this is the little local. Could be private or local airport, not tower control. That's what those little symbols are. These ones right here actually mean that they're going to have gas if it has four little tip marks.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

This is parachute activity. Probably something, I would guess, from the smoke jumper facility.

[Michael]

I would say so.

[Andy]

But again, if you look at it, I don't even know what I just clicked right there. That's amazing. Oh, it's going to add a waypoint. This is manageable.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

From a learning perspective.

[Michael]

Yeah. Not a lot going on.

[Andy]

No. So let's go back to D.C. and we'll explain why D.C. is so complicated for a variety of reasons here.

[Michael]

So it looks like there's overlapping.

[Andy]

There is overlap.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

So you have three major airports. There was Class Delta Airport at Missoula in Kalispell. Okay. This is actually Class Bravo. This is the highest level of control of airspace. Alpha sits above that from 18,000ft and above. So this is all 18,000ft and below.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

So there's overlap. We have Baltimore, we have dca, and I think. Which is. This is the other one. Is this Dulles, perhaps? Yeah, Washington Dulles.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

Is there another one? Right.

[Andy]

They're. They're all over the place. So this is a military installation. Okay, I think this is. Yep. Joint Base Andrews. I think that's where the Marine Corps helicopters are at.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

All right. So the D.C. airspace is gnarly. Not only is there overlapping. Class Bravo. Yeah, you have to do special training. It's sfra, Special Flight Rules area. And it's been well over a decade since I've done the. The. It's an online course where it was when I did it. But it's additional rules when you're flying in this area. And it should make sense because for those of you looking, you can see that I'm moving the cursor around something that is right over here. Guess what that is. That's the Capitol Building, the White House, the National Mall and all of those things. So this is not a fuck around and find out type of aviation area.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

The river that runs, you know, south to north is a waypoint that a lot of the aviation is required on in this area. There are military bases with airports, there's civilian airports. It's all overlapping. And you see this right here that says 100 with a line underneath it to surface.

[Michael]

Yep.

[Andy]

So Class Bravo air. That means from the surface to 10,000ft. There are multiple rings in Class Bravo Airport. So the first one that you're looking at, and the best way to think about this is it's a wedding cake that's upside down.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

So from the surface to 10,000, that is controlled airspace. From 10, 1500ft to 10,000, that is Controlled airspace. So in that shelf, if, I guess if you wanted to fly at a thousand feet, you would be outside of the controlled airspace of the towers.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

People are saying, how is this possible? How could this possibly happen? Yeah, there is so much going on. There is. So the control tower one 19.18s is your weather 132.65. What do we got here? We got altitude. We got the length of the Runway. Notice up here, you know, there's another frequency 143.1. And I actually am going to turn helicopter back on because I think in this particular instance there is a helicopter frequency. In addition, I don't know if it's going to change the overlay. I don't want to add a waypoint to this. And I'm sorry for people who are like, this is the most boring ever. I don't see how this could happen. I've seen comments like, well, this is something that the government wanted to happen, this, that or the other.

[Michael]

I've seen conspiracies a little bit.

[Andy]

Right. And they don't understand how it can happen. So again, from my understanding, both of them went into the water and I don't know which direction they were landing. So it probably. Okay, so this is the helicopter chart that's starting to overlay itself in and load, man. So think about this too. This is an electronic version. A helicopter pilot might have this version up. I'm pretty sure that the American Airlines pilot probably had their version up.

[Michael]

Right.

[Andy]

We have control. Here we go. 134.35 for heli. Control tower 119.1. So by design of this airport, look at this. We can see somebody taking off too. Yeah, who is that? Brooklyn Republican Republic Airlines. I don't even know.

[Michael]

Never heard of them.

[Andy]

So right here already we have a distinction where helicopters are talking to somebody in the tower and airplanes are Talking to somebody in the tower. If the aircraft itself, under the assumption that the aircrafts were functioning properly, what we are coming back to at this point, then is human error, and that sucks.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I think what was already released from a little bit of the audio is the controller reached out and asked the helicopter if they could see the aircraft on short final. And they told the helicopter to go behind it. My understanding, the knowledge I have now, or information I should say, not knowledge, is that they didn't receive a response on that. And what ended up happening is a helicopter flew flu in front. People like, how can this happen? How could this possibly occur? The D.C. airspace is so ridiculously compressed because of the nature of the White House. And so everything is just funneled in. And aviation is an absolute. You know, you make a microscopic error and it can be absolutely catastrophic. People are saying, hey, well, the FAA is understaffed. It is true, the FAA has a shortage of controllers, but let's talk about the airspace. The Delta towers are considered to be. It's not a learning and a training tower, but you start your journey off in a control tower at a Delta airport like Missoula or California. Then there's class Charlie airports. The one that I flew around a lot with was John Wayne, just south of lax. Then there's Class Bravo airports. Every time you make that jump, it's based off your experience and your seniority. So people saying there was a hiring freeze. That means this is Trump's fault. No new controller is going to be in the most controlled airspace that we have.

[Michael]

It should be an experienced guy.

[Andy]

That tower was full of people who were experienced. It has nothing to do with anything that Trump could have done in the first eight days of his presidency to cause this. And I wish people would just take a breath and let a family mourn instead of trying to weaponize this for their own political left, right, center, whatever the it may be. Is there a shortage of FAA controllers? Yes, there is. And we're actually feeling that here in Montana.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

Like, the Kalispell tower has fewer controllers than I think is required to keep it open for the hours that they want to. Oh, they have a problem paying people what it is for the cost of living, things like that.

[Michael]

Right.

[Andy]

That's not the case at the DCA tower.

[Michael]

Yeah. Like the. Probably one of the most important towers in the country.

[Andy]

15 miles from the White House. You're not bringing your JV crew there.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

So then people will say, well, how can this happen? And the answer is because people are people and they make Mistakes. And I have. Let me just tell you the number of times that I have been off by a fraction on a frequency. You're like one click too much, and you're wondering why you can't hear anybody and nobody is saying things because you're on the goddamn wrong frequency. Or in this case, a controller might have been reaching out on what frequency they thought they were reaching out on, but they were attached to another one.

[Michael]

Right.

[Andy]

How does it happen? By accident.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

It sucks. It's such a catastrophe. And I wish that people would just take a little bit of a breath. Yeah, a little bit of a breath. And that's. I mean, that's all I have on the FAA issue. We can switch back. It's important, though.

[Michael]

Yeah, no, for sure. That's a very complicated map.

[Andy]

It is a complicated map. And for people who have no interest in aviation. I'm sorry, please fast forward for, I don't know, however long that was, but 15 minutes. I think it's important for people to realize, like, just because something happens coincidentally.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Maybe sometimes it's just because it's a coincidence.

[Michael]

Well, yeah.

[Andy]

You know, like, that's the thing.

[Michael]

This is big news because this never happens.

[Andy]

It doesn't ever happen. And, you know, I don't want to beat a dead horse. I just wish that sometimes people would take a breath and let people who are in the midst and the throes of a tragedy that involves their family.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Give them a little bit of a break. Give them a little bit of a break. My computer is sassing me. I'm trying to pull up my questions that we're going to share on our Bolt Action Friday. Is that what you said, Bolt Action?

[Michael]

I think so, yeah.

[Andy]

Okay. Two different versions of this. Actually, you know what? I have a third question I remember I was going to ask you. You are of military age. You are actually a prime candidate that I think the US Military would be looking for from somebody that they would be targeting as a recruit.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I remember what the military meant to, or was at least pitched to my generation. I remember kind of the ads and the verbiage associated with that. As somebody in their early 20s, I'm curious, what do you think of the idea of military service? Like, what would it mean to you? What would you find appealing about it or not? And what do you feel like for your generation, the messaging is around the military?

[Michael]

Well, when I was like, like, younger.

[Andy]

Like, give me a number. Because you're pretty young.

[Michael]

Yeah, 10, like, really young. Like, probably since I was, like, 8 to 14 or 15. I was like, the military is like, dope. Like, I want to go to the military, all this stuff. So I feel like they did a pretty good, like, marketing job, you know, of being like, you know, the military.

[Andy]

Is like, are you talking in this time in your life? So is this like, early 2000s?

[Michael]

Yes.

[Andy]

Okay. That was like, peak military, full speed ahead, double, you know, warfare on two complex and developed theaters of war. Okay.

[Michael]

Yeah. And then as I kind of, like, started learning more about, honestly, American history and kind of the wars that we were involved in, that to me, seemed not entirely necessary. I kind of was like. I don't know, I started to kind of lose that respect for. Not for anybody who served in the military, but for the entire military complex as a whole.

[Andy]

Perhaps. What it stood for.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah. What it stood for, for sure. I kind of was just like, wait, why? Like. And I don't. I'm not a history expert, but I think, like, when I started hearing about Vietnam, I was like, scarlet. Yeah. Why were we even in Vietnam in the first place? Like that?

[Andy]

Granted, we have, you know, that was in this. I mean, people can argue about when it ended. Let's say it started in the 60s and the end of the 70s. We're coming up on almost 50 years on that. So. Yeah, this time changes the optic a little bit.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

When you are with your friends of your age right now, what are. And, I mean, you're gonna have to, I guess, broadly generalized here. What is the consensus in your current age group and your social circle about military services and just up here in Montana? Because it probably changes where we are geographically, too.

[Michael]

Yeah. I have a few friends that went into the military, but the general consensus is just like, almost like apathy. Like, it's not really thought of, I guess.

[Andy]

Would you say it's maybe considered to be neutral? It's not necessarily considered positive, but also not discussed in a negative.

[Michael]

Yeah, I would say neutral. Like, nobody here would be against it. You know, that's a broad generalization. Well, yeah, I guess in my group, I guess.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Nobody would really be against it. I mean, it obviously, like, varies from person to person. Like, I have a few friends that are like, no, that's stupid. Like, I would never, you know, in their. In their words, serve the military industrial complex.

[Andy]

What are your thoughts about the current. I guess I want to say advertisement of military service, the recruiting and the branding. What are. Again, I guess you summarize. Paint with a broom if you want to, because I know you can't talk for anybody. Else but the current narrative around military service from the military. Any thoughts on your generation's response?

[Michael]

I have not really. Honestly, I haven't really seen very many advertisements. The last one that I remember seeing were those LGBTQ advertisements, and I was.

[Andy]

Like, was that in your reception of that? Did that move the needle either way for you?

[Michael]

It. Not really, because I realized that those advertisements were made by people who probably did not represent the actual feelings of those who were serving in the military. You know, like, they were made by recruiters to try and appeal to the. Try and basically virtue signal to the. I guess, zeitgeist at the time, you know, Good term. Thanks. I heard it on a podcast, and that's a good.

[Andy]

I'll try to use that more. I'm still trying to use the word cabal more.

[Michael]

Oh, yeah. Forgot about cabal.

[Andy]

It's tough. You got to really shoehorn.

[Michael]

Yeah. You kind of have to force it sometimes.

[Andy]

But, yeah, for your friends that did serve, have they come back? Have you chatted with them?

[Michael]

Yeah, I've talked to one of my friends. He was. He was a Ranger. And, like, the. I don't remember what exactly it's called when you're like. Because there's the Ranger school. Right. But then there's also, like, the.

[Andy]

Oh, man.

[Michael]

My knowledge on there that everybody talks about.

[Andy]

So I know there's a thing called rasp.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Which I think is the initial portion of selection. There is Ranger school. I. I am not. I have a bunch of friends that are Rangers, but I am not. Have a depth. I do not have a depth of knowledge on their particular pipeline.

[Michael]

Yeah, he basically. Well, he did, like, the spec. Whatever the Special Forces one was.

[Andy]

Okay. So he was a Green Beret. So Special Forces is a specific term that references Green Berets.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

Special Operations is the umbrella term that encapsulates all special operations of each military unit or each military branch.

[Michael]

Ranger is all I know. So I'm just gonna say that.

[Andy]

Okay, so that would be a special operations unit inside of the Army.

[Michael]

Okay. Yeah. And he was. I asked him a little bit about it, and he was, like, kind of neutral. Like, he was. He actually was in when the US Pulled out of Afghanistan, and I don't think he was really a huge fan of.

[Andy]

Of that, but as were many. Not a huge fan of that.

[Michael]

Yeah. But then he said after that, they didn't have a lot to do, so they just went on, like, fishing trips and stuff.

[Andy]

There's some truth to that for sure.

[Michael]

Yeah. And so I was like. I mean, Cool.

[Andy]

Let me ask you this. And I'm not hoping that this situation plays itself out. Let's say that there becomes some type of existential threat against the US and the messaging changes like, hey, we need able bodied young men and women to go and prepare to fight this.

[Michael]

That's when your thoughts? Yeah, that's when I would actually, actually consider joining. You know, if I was still.

[Andy]

What would be your go, no go criteria? What do you think would help you make that decision or prevent you from making it?

[Michael]

If the United States was actually like under threat of invasion, that's when I'd be like, okay, yeah, it's. I kind of like it's time, you know.

[Andy]

What branch would you go with?

[Michael]

Probably Army.

[Andy]

Particularly in the army. What would you do?

[Michael]

I mean, I would like to go to Ranger school. Yeah.

[Andy]

Can you tell me what the rangers do?

[Michael]

Nope. It just seems pretty dope.

[Andy]

Mother of God. I suspected that was your answer. And I have nothing but respect for the fact that that's what you want to do and don't know what it is because I thought I knew what it was going to be when I went down the Navy path line and man, it was everything that I thought it was going to be and so many things that I had no idea that it could be. So I respect it. Yeah, this is what I'm gonna do. Why? Not really sure.

[Michael]

Not really sure. Sounds cool, I guess. Yeah.

[Andy]

Hey, sometimes you do stuff that sounds cool.

[Michael]

Yeah, exactly. All right.

[Andy]

But yeah, it's an interesting one. I haven't. Let me tell you, you don't really pay attention to the messaging of recruiting. Or at least I didn't. When you're in. Right. So I have like this huge nearly two decade gap of not really paying attention because I wasn't really their target audience. They kind of already had captured me. Right.

[Michael]

Yeah, they did their job.

[Andy]

But it certainly seems like it's shifted over the years and haven't had the chance to talk about the, just the concept of serving in the military with people in your particular generation much. So. Yeah, it's interesting.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I'm just glad to hear that if, if needed, you'd still answer the call on that one. I would hope that a lot of people would feel the same way.

[Michael]

Well, yeah, I mean it's, it's. To me it would be like it's that or the country is just completely changed forever.

[Andy]

You know, I feel like some people would be okay with the country being changed. I'm not saying that I think they'd be okay with the country being invaded.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

But I think some people at a very, very deep level, and this might be due to a level of conditioning and being told that this country never stood for what it was founded upon.

[Michael]

Right, right.

[Andy]

That they're like, yeah, you know, we probably should burn this motherfucker to the ground.

[Michael]

Yeah, some people definitely have that mindset.

[Andy]

They do. And it's unfortunate. And, man, I am not sure what to do about that other than continuing to just talk about openly the experiences that I've had with this country globally. But again, they're limited to myself. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, today's episode is brought to you by Maui Nui. Let me tell you, I am fired up to be partnering with this brand and I'll tell you why. Years ago, moved to Montana. I wasn't a hunter before that and I have no issue with where people want to source their protein. If you live in a place where hunting isn't an option and you have access to protein, fantastic. If you live in a place where you have the opportunity to hunt and you want to detach from the factory farming system, fantastic. Make whatever choice you want to. When I moved to Montana, I was presented the opportunity to start hunting and I fell in love with it for a variety of reasons. It was challenging, impossible to master. It tied into some of the skills from my old job. But more than anything, I was able to fill my freezer with ethically sourced meat that I knew where it came from, that it had a story. Incredibly healthy, higher protein volume. And that's exactly why I'm fired up to be working with Maui Nui. They offer the only 100 wild harvested meat that's completely stress free and responsibly sourced. This is Axis deer. I've had the chance to go over to Hawaii, not Maui. I went to a different island with Sitka years ago. And you want to talk about an animal that is switched on and difficult to hunt. And I'll tell you this, if you serve somebody Axis deer cooked appropriately, blind taste test and you ask them to tell you what animal it is, in my experience, they can't tell you. They just say it is unbelievably delicious and it's packed full of nutrients and protein and I love it. I actually wish I still had some, but I don't. So if that sounds good to you and you're interested in sourcing some very high quality, ethically sourced protein, here we go. We're going to talk a little bit about Maui Nui. 100% wild harvested and stress free process delivers the highest protein to calorie ratio up to 53% more than grass fed beef. It has zero gy taste. It's savory satisfying. Like I said, most people could not tell you that Axis was a deer product. Convenient yeah, these are the sticks. I got packs of 10 sticks. This is what they come in. Laptop bag, back pocket. Put it in your fanny pack if you want to. Convenient high quality protein source on the go at any time. Maui Nui offers the only 100% wild harvested meat that is completely stress free and responsibly sourced. It's perfect for anyone looking to elevate the meals with delicious high quality protein. Their offer for you the listeners Maui Nui Venison is offering Clearhot listeners a limited collection of my favorite cuts and products but supply is limited by the nature of the work so don't wait. Head to mauinuivenessen.com clearedhot to secure your access. Now that is Maui Nuivenison M A A U I N U I V E N I s o n Maui nuivenison.com Cleared hot. That was a mouthful, but we got through it. Let's get back to the show. Two topics really for today and one of these. Actually both of these I've talked about quite a bit, but it's always been individually. So again, I'm curious your thoughts on this one. First one's about mental health because I don't think you and I have ever talked about mental health. And again, I'm curious about the lens of your generation, what they think about even just the concept of mental health or going to somebody and talking about stuff. So here's a question Andy. First off, thanks for being a champion of mental health. Your willingness to open up about this has made it a dramatic impact on a friend who also listens to you. That being said, he recently went through a bit of a downward spiral as happens to all of us. Those are my words, not the email and I'm hoping you can help me with pull him back out. He used to attend therapy often and has mentioned it had a huge improvement in him or he saw a huge improvement in him. He has since stopped attending and returned to his old ways to split with his fiance and mother of his child. Little concerned that will continue the downward spiral. When he mentioned to me he was going to be a father, he commented that all he had to do to be a good dad was to be the exact opposite of his dad who that is rough. Again, my words not in the email. Yet here he is making the same mistakes his father did. I've talked to him about taking or about talking to someone professionally again and just get brushed off. I've got a feeling hearing something about the importance of mental health from you again. Maybe what's needed to push him in the right direction. If you're able to somehow decipher my marylings and encompass a bit of message into the next full autos or bolt action, if you will.

[Michael]

Action.

[Andy]

Yeah, I'd be grateful. Thank you. From north of the border will never be the 51st state, but will always be neighbors. Man, the Canadians have really had an allergic reaction to Trump considering them being the 51st state, which, for clarity, I think I mentioned this the other day. I used to make that joke, too. Yeah, I was just kidding. Fuckers. I don't know if Trump's serious.

[Michael]

The president, though, that's the difference.

[Andy]

So I have an answer for this guy and I'll get to that in a minute. What do your friends talk about mental health? Do they talk about therapy? Do they talk about counseling? I'm fascinated to know somebody in their 20s. What is your generation's thoughts on this?

[Michael]

Yeah, I think it's definitely more open than previous generations because I have talked to a couple of friends about, like, just how are you doing in general? You know, and it's not as. It's. It's definitely more accepted to talk about that kind of.

[Andy]

So less of a stigma if you were to say, hey, I actually have a counselor. Yeah, I, I can't. This is, you know, trying to, through the lens of back to being your age. I'll be honest with you. It gets really hazy. Yeah, I'm trying to remember. So your age. I was already in the military. I'm not going to say that the community that I served in was anti mental health at all, but I will say that the feelings, at least in my perception of that or the. The culture shifted as I was getting out, and I feel like it probably continued to shift more. I'm placing an emphasis on mental health. I don't remember it being really discussed openly when I was around my early 20s. There might have been a negative stigma associated with that, which might have caused it, but the fact that you guys are talking about it, guys and gals, your generation, I think that's a very good first step.

[Michael]

Yeah, it's a big step, I think.

[Andy]

Because if you can't admit to your friends or people that you consider your close circle that, hey, I might be struggling, or even better, hey, I was struggling. And then this is What I did, and this is the help that it had. Yeah, that's tremendous value. That's how, I think how you start chipping away with a little ice pick at the stigma associated with stuff like that.

[Michael]

For sure. Yeah. No, it's. It's definitely more open. And like, I told my friend, which was kind of a. I don't know. I don't know if it was a big step, but it's like a friend that I really trust. I was like, yeah, I'm like, going to therapy and stuff. And he was like, then that.

[Andy]

You're going to therapy?

[Michael]

I am right now, yeah.

[Andy]

Is it working for you?

[Michael]

Yeah, it's really awesome, actually. Like, it's just like, what did you.

[Andy]

And again, share whatever details you want to. I'm not trying to put you on the spot here. And for clarity, I know I've been on the Full Auto Friday ones. I'm sure you don't listen because you hear my voice enough.

[Michael]

No, I don't.

[Andy]

Well, I talk really openly about my own experiences with therapy. I. I needed it and I leaned on it heavily when I was going through my divorce. And it has been hugely impactful and it's been shocking to me, the number of people not like this, but similar to this that would say thank you for speaking openly about that. I'm like, I don't feel like it's an embarrassing thing at all. It's a tool. I look at it like, I'm not a carpenter, but I know that they wear belts sometimes and they got a hammer or tape measure and all a bunch of other fancy shit that I'm sure that I would buy if I saw. I would never use just to say that I could have, which I don't know what that says about me, but I'm just being honest.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

It's a tool. It's a tool and there's a time and place for it, and it's not something you have to do for the rest of your life. But that. I mean, I don't know in my early 20s, if I would have been able to talk to my peers and say, hey, this is what's going on with me, and this is why. What did you think it was going to be? And what has it been for you? And please paint with a broom as broadly as you want to.

[Michael]

I mean, it's what I thought it was going to be, was just like, just talking about what is going on and then the.

[Andy]

I mean, that is kind of what you do a little bit.

[Michael]

Yeah. And that's pretty much what it is.

[Andy]

And just out of curiosity, how. What mechanism of that do you think has helped you? Is it that you have somebody that you can talk to who is neutral, perhaps more objective, not directly involved in whatever it is that you are exactly dealing with?

[Michael]

Yeah, that's a big part, because that's.

[Andy]

What it was for me too.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Having somebody who didn't have their nose smashed against the grindstone, that was spinning.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

And saying. Or being able to ask, like, am I crazy?

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Am I up?

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Am. Am I wrong? Well, actually wrong. I don't know, maybe that's not a right term. Could I be doing better? Is there a better way to look at this? Yeah, it's amazing. I mean, I'm sure you had people ask you for advice or suggestions when your nose isn't up against the grindstone. You can actually give some really objective guidance and feedback that the person oftentimes will say, oh, I had no idea.

[Michael]

Yeah, you're just too deep in the forest. Like, you can't get an outside view because you're literally right in the middle of all the shit going on, you know?

[Andy]

How long in talking to somebody, was it before you started to notice a difference?

[Michael]

Honestly, after the first session, okay, that's cool.

[Andy]

I was like, did you click with the person that you're talking to?

[Michael]

Yeah, he's a pretty cool guy.

[Andy]

And that. And that I think is essential is important as well.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

And again, I talk about this my own journey through mental health. If. If you don't click with the person that you're talking to, I don't think you can expect to have the impact or outcome that you would have. So don't give up on therapy or counseling or whatever you want to call it. Maybe just find somebody.

[Michael]

Maybe just that therapist.

[Andy]

Maybe just fight. Maybe give up on that therapist.

[Michael]

Because I've had that experience also.

[Andy]

Really?

[Michael]

Yeah. Where. This was a while ago, but where.

[Andy]

I was like, God, how up are you, man?

[Michael]

Super. No, just kidding. But it was just like, you're not.

[Andy]

Like tension testing, like the tension on the ceiling tiles with rope and are you.

[Michael]

No, no, I don't think this ceiling would.

[Andy]

The drop selling might not, but there might be more.

[Michael]

Maybe above the drop ceiling.

[Andy]

I'm not trying to give you any ideas here. I'm asking you, is this a cry for help, Michelle?

[Michael]

No, no. But yeah, the first. This a while ago, the first person I went to, I was like, this person isn't really doing it for me. Which is fine. Like, just. You just gotta move on from that person.

[Andy]

What would you say to this person?

[Michael]

The person asking the question, the person he's asking about, person he's asking about.

[Andy]

Because any more than anything, the person asking the questions is really just asking if we could retouch upon the value of mental health and perhaps therapy and counseling.

[Michael]

Well, I mean, I don't have any experience being engaged in having a kid, so take that with a grain of salt. Y. But I would say, like, it's just helpful in general. Even if there's like not a huge thing going on in your life, like it's just helpful to go anyways. So if there is something huge going on in his life, like it seems like there is right now, just do like one session, like see if you like it and if you don't, you know, maybe try another therapist or whatever or. And also find something else you can do alongside that. Because I feel like therapy is part of it. But if you don't have a, an outlet, like a physical outlet or just being just like going outside or whatever, you know, this is all like very base level advice, but sometimes what you.

[Andy]

Need is base level.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I tell you what, I read this email and the line that jumps out to me is he commented that all he had to do to be a good dad was to do the exact opposite of what his dad did. And as somebody who is the father or of three children, you know, all three of my children, which are very different. They are expression.

[Michael]

They are. Yeah.

[Andy]

Same genetic soup, I guess, but I guess the recipe is. Can be slightly different. It shows you my limits of my biology understanding. I know a lot of people now. I know a good amount. I'm not going to say a lot of people that have expressed similar thoughts to this, like, hey, my dad was horrible. I don't want to repeat those mistakes. Your dad, this is like dads in general, they're just people. And I think the vast majority of dads who do a really shitty job of being a father probably don't wake up in the morning and say, I want to be a shitty father. Yeah, they have their own baggage. Parents are just people. They're not perfect. They're going to fuck up just like everybody else. And I bet you unconsciously they were not the father that you wanted to be or that you needed. But if you. And so you can then overlay that to yourself, all I need to do is to be the dad that my dad wasn't. Well, you're okay. If your dad wasn't intentionally being that way, that means it probably was a slow slide over time. And if you don't create for yourself your own toolbox to, let's say, recognize poor communication, recognize poor thought process, recognize poor actions, conflict resolution, perhaps all of those things that your dad didn't do, you're going to find yourself or could find yourself on that similar slippery slope.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Parents aren't perfect. They're just people. I have, I have made more mistakes than I care to admit with my own kid. And I never woke up the day that I made a mistake, or mistakes, we can put plural on that, and said to myself, you know what? Yeah, today's the day. Yeah, here's the bar I have for myself. I'm gonna dive under that thing head first. Not even attempting to clear. No. And you feel like shit and you want to do better. But if you don't have a tool belt, if you don't have a roadmap, if you don't have a structure or a foundation, it can get really, really hard.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

For mental health, I tell people there's two ways you can look at it, and I usually go with a vehicle analogy. You can wait to take your car to a service center when lights come on, or you can have a professional look under the hood before in a little bit of a proactive manner. Like you don't actually have to wait until the change. Oil light comes on to get your oil changed. Especially like if you're getting ready to do a 10,000 mile road trip.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Which would be tremendous. That's like East Coast, West Coast. East coast, west coast.

[Michael]

Yeah. It's a couple laps around the earth.

[Andy]

We're getting after it. Our road trip, Michael, is robust. Very, very. We're. Yeah, it's gonna be, it's gonna be crazy. We're gonna see all of America. And you know that there's only 2,000 miles left on your oil change. Like, hey, man, maybe just go preemptively do that. So then you'll be good to go.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I don't know if there is a downside to checking in with a professional whose job it is to understand how the brain works and can provide for you maybe a framework or maybe at a minimum can provide for you a different lens to view the challenges that you are facing in your life. There might be a cost associated with it. There might be time associated with it. Probably actually there's going to be both of those things together. But how much? I mean, to the guy writing the email, and I guess it would be not to the guy writing the email. The guy that the email was written about how much is it worth you to be the father that your dad wasn't? If the answer to that is it means more to me than anything, then get off your ass and do something.

[Michael]

Yeah. Yeah. You might want to go. Go get that session, that first session out of the way.

[Andy]

Yeah. Any additional thoughts, Michael, from the youngest generation ever to live?

[Michael]

Not really. I mean, just go, just go try it like at the. Like, what harm could it do to just go and try one session?

[Andy]

I don't think any.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Last topic for today. And I picked this one because I know it's your favorite.

[Michael]

Oh, boy.

[Andy]

Love and relationships.

[Michael]

Oh, boy. Okay.

[Andy]

You and I are in different phases of our life on this one. This is why I picked it. Okay, Michael, what should a 30 year old man do when the woman that he's fallen in love with rejects him?

[Michael]

Oh.

[Andy]

Even though she has been flirty first beforehand and has since shown him signs of love and affection slash concern for his well being after the rejection. If this young man finds himself waking up in the morning automatically thinking about her upon first opening his eyes and finding himself subconsciously thinking about her throughout the day, even though he has no contact with her and hasn't seen her in over a month. How should just. How should this young man handle the potential of the right one being lost?

[Michael]

Did you write this? Knowing my. Really? That is wild.

[Andy]

That's why I picked it.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Welcome to the show. Crazy, right?

[Michael]

That's insane. That. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, obviously people can pick up on context clues, but this has been. Has happened to me in the past.

[Andy]

Let's just say that you are in the trenches.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Of love warfare. You are. What war do you want? Are you like in the Civil War? Are you in the un? The Deuce? Vietnam, Korea?

[Michael]

I would say if we're going trench warfare, definitely World War I.

[Andy]

The UN.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Fuck, dude.

[Michael]

Yeah. It's bad.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah. We're talking whistles and ladders and running into goddamn overlapping fields of machine.

[Michael]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy]

All right. What are your thoughts, man?

[Michael]

Specifically on this guy?

[Andy]

On this guy. Yeah. And I mean, like, again, I wasn't trying to pigeonhole you into this situation, but what I said at the beginning was true. Like, you and I are in very different phases of. I'll call it our love life.

[Michael]

Yeah. First of all, I know how much that sucks. Like, trust me, like, I get it, you know, and you have to let go of the. But she was the right one and she just got away.

[Andy]

It's like I was going to say that too. There's no way of knowing.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

And I feel like, you know me, I'm not a. I'm not a religious person or necessarily spiritual. I would describe myself as agnostic. I'm too stupid to know either way. I've. I'm envious of people that have faith, but it's never landed with me. No judgment of anybody, whatever belief they may have. But I feel like a lot of the times if it's meant to be, it does work itself out. So you telling yourself that this is the right one and this is the one, like it has to be this one and if it's not this one, it'll never happen again. I think if it was the one, it would be the one.

[Michael]

Yeah. It would be working right now.

[Andy]

I think so. Right. I have a really hard time describing how I feel about that, but that's probably as close as I've ever gonna get.

[Michael]

Yeah. No, that's. I mean, that's kind of how you have to look at it. And trust me, I know that it's not as particularly easy to look at it that way, especially a month out of it.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Like you literally cannot just. You can't really rationalize that. But it is true. The sooner you get over that feeling.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

The sooner you will feel a whole lot better about the whole situation.

[Andy]

So what you just said, you know, you can't rationalize it like when you're a month out. So is the key perhaps then just to recognize that you are in a place where your mind isn't working rationally and so then you can just ride that wave a little bit. You realize, hey, rationally this is how I feel, but this too shall pass. Because this is more emotional than objective.

[Michael]

Yeah. 100%. Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

So it's like it's. It literally is like you're telling your brain what to do and how you should be feeling and it just will not listen.

[Andy]

I don't know. I struggle with this one. Do you ever. I think I might have asked you this. Do you ever talk to yourself out loud?

[Michael]

Yeah. In the car usually.

[Andy]

Yeah. I got caught the other day leaving the studio. I was having a full on conversation as I opened the door and walked out. And when I exited the room, there was somebody standing at the end of the hallway.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

And I was clearly talking to somebody. But it was. No, I didn't even stop. I like, I can't control the thoughts that my mind has. Yeah. And so I actually stopped trying to. I found that if I have a thought or something That I am we. I guess you could use this in a relationship situation. If there is something for some reason that is. It's sticky to my brain or my thoughts and I try to tell myself to stop thinking about it. I think about it more.

[Michael]

It just. Yeah, it comes back.

[Andy]

I feel like. And I am not an expert in how the brain works. I have, I would say, let go of the reins a little bit and I just kind of naturally let it work its course.

[Michael]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a. I guess I never really tried that. Maybe I should try that.

[Andy]

I don't. I mean, how much can. It's like telling me, tell yourself, don't think about this. And then you're confronted with something that directly reminds you about that.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

How powerful is that? Hey, don't think about this.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I. I don't know. Again, I'm not an expert on the brain, but I have found a little bit more relief on some issues by just letting. I don't know why my brain's churning. I don't know why the thoughts that are sticky are sticky. But I have found that if I let it churn. And the key to that is this, though, for me, while it's churning, sometimes it spits out some shit that I don't like.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

The key is not to grab onto those things.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

The key is to let that go.

[Michael]

Just recognize.

[Andy]

Recognize again. This too shall pass.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

This is maybe how I'm feeling right now. Just because it is my brain spitting out to me this information, I am going to choose to let that go. Go. As opposed to hook myself onto that.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Because I have had some dips in mental health by self talking my way into it. That is dangerous.

[Michael]

Yeah. Trust me, I've done.

[Andy]

Grabbing on to the own. Your own negative thoughts that you are creating which are then being fed into because input is probably going to inform output. You're feeding your own negative input, which is driving a negative output which you take out of the machine, then feed into a negative input and then what? I would suggest pair that with like some Jack Daniels.

[Michael]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy]

Which is. I'm joking everybody, by the way. Even though that was the theory that I went with in my 20s. Yeah, man. You can find yourself in some. In some deep, deep.

[Michael]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. But I mean, to this guy.

[Andy]

Yeah. What advice would you have for this guy?

[Michael]

I mean, this is kind of harsh, but you really do just need to let that person go and be like, you know what? That person's not the one. Because they would Try and make it work. If they, you know, there's a saying going around. Like, if. If they wanted to, they would or whatever.

[Andy]

Where is the saying going around?

[Michael]

Instagram and, like, whatever. Like, and worry about your generation. Yeah, I know. And like, it's. It. It has kind of been taken out of context to where it's been way overblown. But there is a truth of it of, like, if this person actually wanted to be with you and cared about you, then they would put in that effort and do all the things that you expect from a relationship. And if they're not doing that, then, you know, it's kind of like, well, you kind of have to move on. Like. Yeah, I don't know. But that sucks. I know what it's like, and it really sucks.

[Andy]

Yeah, man. Yeah. I honestly, I did not write this. Looking at it now, after your reaction was like, I could have written this.

[Michael]

Really? Seemed like you wrote.

[Andy]

I didn't. I can show you the actual email if you would like to go ahead and trail it backwards and email this person directly. Dude, it sucks that you're going through that. I got. I mean, Leah is without a shadow of the doubt, my person.

[Michael]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy]

The road defining her, I would not wish upon anybody else. So those people are out there for you, and I've known you for a couple years now, and I've kind of seen you going through the struggle, man. I don't know what advice to give you at this point other than to just persevere. I mean, I guess it's. It's. I don't know. It's just weird. I never. I never existed in the online dating, meeting people over the Internet. I don't know how well I would have done with that, man. You're in a different ecosystem than I was ever exposed to.

[Michael]

Yeah. Yeah. It's a strange time.

[Andy]

I feel like, what are your plans? What plans do you have to continue to navigate this?

[Michael]

I don't know. I'm kind of just stepping back for a little bit, you know, seeing if something crops up. I'm really not trying that hard right now.

[Andy]

Maybe that's the way.

[Michael]

Yeah, maybe that's the way. I know it's. It's difficult to not try and make it work, but honestly, that.

[Andy]

Do you feel pressure at your age, like your generation, what's the pressure, like, if any, to be in a relationship and be moving towards marriage? Has that shifted at all.

[Michael]

From the outside? Not a whole lot, but I. I put a lot of pressure on myself for it.

[Andy]

Follow up question, if you were to get married, would your brother MC it like he did our mutual friend's wedding and absolutely crushed it?

[Michael]

I would kind of want him to, honestly, because would you ignore him and.

[Andy]

Be playing like the gem crusher game that you were playing?

[Michael]

Not at my own wedding, though.

[Andy]

Okay. That'd be tough because you'd probably be up at the front.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

Are we at a place yet where we can acknowledge that you were on your phone ignoring your brother's crushing?

[Michael]

I have never not acknowledged that.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

Yeah. I've always said, yeah, that's what I was doing. I was still listening. But you refused to believe.

[Andy]

That's the lie part right there.

[Michael]

It's not a lie.

[Andy]

You would laugh or clap after. Like it was a three to five second pause. It was as if you were watching a TV show that had an audio delay. This is exactly what you were doing.

[Michael]

No, no. Yeah.

[Andy]

This is. So this is you.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Andy]

A wedding where your brother was up there crushing a stand up comedy skit.

[Michael]

Yeah. Essentially is what it was.

[Andy]

You were behind. There was like a little vertical post. You're behind there, phones underneath, and I watched you. You would hear people laughing and you'd be down here and be a little bit of laughter. You'd be like, ha.

[Michael]

That is not true. I was listening to every word he said.

[Andy]

It's my truth.

[Michael]

Well, your truth is vastly different from objective truth sometimes.

[Andy]

Any other closing advice for this guy? Other than stay the course, which is probably the roughest piece of advice, but also probably the most accurate?

[Michael]

Just. I don't know.

[Andy]

It's tough, man.

[Michael]

It's difficult. Just let it go. Focus on the you like to do.

[Andy]

And what do guys your age, mid-20s, talk about if they're not. If they haven't found a girlfriend and if they haven't really considered marriage. Is it something that you guys talk about? What are the. What are the general thoughts?

[Michael]

The general thought is what is like, what is what the. Is going on right now?

[Andy]

Is there still a value in the concept and idea of marriage? People your age? Okay.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. For me, for a lot of my friends.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michael]

Yeah. A couple of them are like, no, I do not want to get married.

[Andy]

Like, do you have any idea why they say that? Do they come from a home that maybe involve divorce or personal experience?

[Michael]

Yeah. And the one friend said to me, and I think this is him just being jaded because he did come from a divorce.

[Andy]

Yeah. Which is real. I mean, that experience is real.

[Michael]

Yeah. He was like, why would I get married when the second I get married, she's just going to stop trying or whatever and all this stuff. And I was like, fuck, that is a. Yeah. And so I was like, man, that's just.

[Andy]

That is a really, really sharp and self imposed obstacle. I wonder what experience has led him to feeling that way. That's rough, man. That's tough.

[Michael]

Yeah, that's. And like, there have been times in my life where I have kind of felt that way just because I've. I've also been jaded with relationships.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Not with, like, that's real too.

[Andy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Michael]

Yeah. But I'm. In my opinion, like, if you find the right person, then that doesn't really matter. Like, they will keep putting in effort. You need to also.

[Andy]

But yeah, it is a two way street. That's an important point too. You know, why would I get married? The second that we get married, then, you know, she'll just stop. There's probably plenty of women out there who are feeling exactly the same way.

[Michael]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy]

It doesn't have to be like that. I will say this as somebody now who's been married twice. Lee and I have been married. It'll be our third wedding anniversary this August. There isn't a relationship out there that is perfect. No, I mean, clearly I am perfect. You know me.

[Michael]

And so, yeah, everybody knows that.

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, what I bring to the relationship, if I had to reduce it down to a singular word, would be perfection.

[Michael]

Of course.

[Andy]

Very good chance that Leah would disagree with that. She doesn't listen because I'm clearly joking. Perfect's not out there. It's work either way. And I think that's probably the death of marriage if either party or both stops working and you just slide into this complacency spot. Yeah, it should be work. But work doesn't have to be directly associated with the following term, which is discomfort.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You know, it should be like. It's actually pretty cool to put in work with Leah. Work on communicating and sitting in there and scheduling time and our busy schedules to spend time with each other and reconnecting. Like that is work. But it's awesome.

[Michael]

It's rewarding.

[Andy]

Yes.

[Michael]

Yeah. You should want to put in work for the part.

[Andy]

Want to put in work with my favorite person walking planet Earth.

[Michael]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Andy]

I feel. Yeah, it's, it's, it's not an easy path. What I will say though, is somebody who, when I got divorced, thought I would be alone for the remainder of my life is that if you find the right person, it'll change your mind.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

And it is worth it. But that does not come for free.

[Michael]

Yeah. Gotta put in work.

[Andy]

Yeah. That's all I had. Michael. How long we've been going?

[Michael]

53 minutes.

[Andy]

That's a good Friday episode. I feel like.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

For pretty good single shot Friday. Whatever. We decided bolt action. Whatever the it is.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. Here's a question. What do we use as the thumbnail? Because I have been finding some bangers for the Andy versus Michael.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Which this isn't really Andy versus Michael. This is like Andy collaborating with.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

We're trying to get the younger generation involved here.

[Michael]

Yeah. Trying to get a different viewpoint.

[Andy]

What do you think?

[Michael]

Something with like a. Something with a bolt action rifle. That's all I can think of right off the top of my head.

[Andy]

Although you and I would understand that. I feel like somebody looking at a thumbnail.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Would be really confused by clicking on that. Thinking we were going to talk about a bolt action rifle.

[Michael]

Which we kind of did at a.

[Andy]

Conceptual level, but not. Yeah. More on the mechanics of semi auto versus full auto.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I don't know. I'll figure it out.

[Michael]

Yeah. You'll come up with something. You always do.

[Andy]

And I mean this honestly. Was this from the suggestion of people who listen to the show? So if people enjoy this particular format, I can bounce back and forth between doing Full Auto Friday stuff or we'll think of a name for this. So let us know. That's all I have for today.

[Michael]

Sounds good.

[Andy]

Cool. Later.

[Michael]

Cool.

[Andy]

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