It's 5:20 Somewhere - Barbee Flew to Miami to Confront Her Boyfriend?! 😳✈️

Summary

Club 520 Podcast – "It's 5:20 Somewhere - Barbee Flew to Miami to Confront Her Boyfriend?! 😳✈️"

Episode Date: August 12, 2026
Hosts: Barbie, Kiki, Ashley, Mike (plus crew)
Podcast Theme: Candid, hilarious, and relatable talk about relationships, sex, music, and everyday life—hosted by NBA All-Star Jeff Teague and friends (note: Teague not on this episode; a girls’ night episode with Barbie at the helm).

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Episode Overview

In this vibrant and unfiltered installment of Club 520’s "It's 5:20 Somewhere," Barbie leads the gang—mainly Kiki and Ashley—through a riotous, honest, and very real conversation about everything from favorite twerking songs, types of "hoes," and body count honesty, to wild personal stories about love, heartbreak, and flying across the country for closure. The episode is full of belly laughs, candid admissions, and lots of "girl talk" energy, capped off with musings on life insurance and a hot WNBA take.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Housekeeping, Introductions, and Warm-Ups

(Timestamps: 02:04–04:36)

• Late arrivals & being unreliable: The hosts playfully roast each other for always running late.
• Nicknames and outfits: Fun banter about their personal styles and the energy they bring.
• Panty preferences: The crew reveals their favorite underwear ("granny panties," G-strings, and thick Calvin Kleins—all get a mention).
• Body confidence and beauty routines: Chit-chat about potential booty bleaching adventures and nostalgic discussions of nose piercings ("I suck dick a long time, but I've never sucked my thumb" – Barbie, 29:24).

2. Music Throwbacks: Twerking and House Party Anthems

(Timestamps: 07:27–13:16)

• Nostalgic songs for dance battles: Everyone shares their top twerking/house party tracks—"Booty Me Down," "Make It Rain," "Knock It Out," "Bedroom Boom."
  • Memorable moment: Kiki recalls teenage dance-off brawls at parties:
    "No, cuz we literally...it was like a group of us versus a group of them." (09:18)
• Aunties who can REALLY dance: Barbie, hilariously: "She got 12 kids, baby. She gonna get lower than anybody at the party." (08:39)
• Crossover into slow jams: "Slow grinding and twerking in the house parties was just getting ready for us to be some hot thoughts once we got older." (Barbie, 13:23)
• Notable quote: "My neck, my back—lick my lemon drop in my crack!" (Barbie, 08:58)

3. Levels of ‘Hoe-ness’ – Defining the Spectrum

(Timestamps: 16:54–24:09)

• Breaking down ‘hoe’ taxonomy:
  "It's levels to being a hoe, right?" (Barbie, 16:54)
• ‘Tiers’ of hoe-dom: Kiki details the difference between unapologetic/‘turnout’ hoes (who "put the H in hoe"), ‘normal’ women, and "good girl hybrids."
  • “I consider myself hoe...like a halfway hoe. I ain't really like a, I'm not a turnout.” (Kiki, 19:54)
  • “The turnout is, bro, you getting trains ran on you.” (Kiki, 20:56)

On Body Counts and ‘Homie Hopping’

• The honest-to-God numbers game:
  "I could still count on my fingers." (Barbie, 22:52)
• Debate over sleeping with friends or family members ("homie hopping"):
  "One of them was my boyfriend in high school. One of them was my boyfriend after high school." (Kiki, 25:21)
• Double standard call-outs:
  “Men are playing in the WNBA, goddamn it. So let me tell you something. Don’t worry about…” (Barbie, 26:18)

4. Candid Conversations About Sex, Money, and Self-Worth

(Timestamps: 27:58–33:34)

• The $10 Million Dilemma: Would you rather give up sex forever or lose all your teeth—no replacements allowed—for $10M?
  • “I’ ma delete $10 million. I don’t need it… I need my teeth.” (Kiki, 28:09)
  • Barbie, the opposite: “Just take my teeth. I’ ma have that money.” (32:51)
• Group admits to having once cried during sex or made embarrassing choices for love.
  • "Yes, I cried during sex...he was my port. And he got out, and it was so good. I really let my pussy marinate for real..." (Kiki, 30:56)
• Barbie’s Wildest Move: “I walked miles by myself to go to this room. Got there...tried to get a key under all the names..." (Barbie, 48:09)
  • Story highlight: Barbie spills about flying to Miami, confronting her boyfriend, and accidentally catching him with another woman via audio on a live photo.

5. Honesty in Relationships: Cheating & Heartbreak Stories

(Timestamps: 43:11–51:04)

• Viral TikTok & cheating stories:
  “Woman is going viral...allegedly catching him cheating after seven years together.” (Kiki, 42:48)
• Relatable heartbreak:
  "I was like 19, bitch. Bro. No. Because when you young and you get your heart, that hit different. I'm talking about...I'm grabbing on his leg, I'm like, no, don't drop." (Kiki, 44:28)
• Barbie’s Miami saga (detailed above):
  "Found out. He was like, I’m drunk. I gotta come to your room…Got there…she was coming in the room." (Barbie, 47:32–48:53)
• Ultimate girl takeaway:
  "Being a girl is so embarrassing." (Kiki, 49:38)

6. Life, Money, and Adulting: Life Insurance & Planning

(Timestamps: 34:25–42:23)

• Serious chat about life insurance:
  • “A lot of black people…don’t have life insurance. Let me tell y’all, I used to sell life insurance.” (Barbie, 34:34)
  • “First thing first. Get the life insurance and then you have to set up a will, because that…that from happening…” (Barbie, 38:50)
• Cautionary tale:
  • “He signed up for life insurance at his job, put the girl he was cracking as his beneficiary. He died…she walked up, picked her $10 million and was gone.” (Barbie, 35:07)
• Making sure your kids are covered:
  • “I have life insurance policy on me. He would have had it on him…But I didn’t have his social. I needed it.” (Kiki, 40:54)

7. WNBA Talk: Flagged Fouls & Debating Intent

(Timestamps: 53:51–56:43)

• Discussion on the recent Fever game and flagrant fouls:
  • “To get your mouth busted and…taken down to the ground was excessive. I think she should have been ejected…” (Barbie, 54:05)
  • “Can we not make every little thing about race?” (Kiki, 55:15)
  • “It was a sport.” (Barbie, 56:10)
• Comment on the ‘intensity’ of new WNBA fans:
  • “A lot of new fans…they don’t understand the real competitiveness of it… it’s just sports, y’all.” (Kiki, 56:11)

8. Notable Quotes & Funniest Moments

• "I suck dick a long time, but I’ve never sucked my thumb." – Barbie (29:24)
• "She got 12 kids, baby. She gonna get lower than anybody at the party." – Barbie (08:39)
• "I could still count on my fingers." – Barbie (22:52)
• "I walked miles by myself to go to this room...Got there trying to names that I think." – Barbie (48:09)
• "Being a girl is so embarrassing." – Kiki (49:38)
• "Just take my teeth." – Barbie (32:51)
• "No dick is worth $10 million. I’m so sorry. Nah, nah." – Kiki (32:56)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:04–04:36] – Introductions & "Red Thong Energy" warmup
• [07:27–13:16] – Favorite twerking songs & house party memories
• [16:54–24:09] – Hoe taxonomy & ‘homie hopping’ stories
• [27:58–33:34] – Sex vs. teeth: The $10M question
• [34:25–42:23] – Life insurance and financial planning for grown folks
• [43:11–51:04] – Heartbreak stories: Barbie’s Miami confrontation, group therapy
• [53:51–56:43] – WNBA hot takes: Fever game flagrant, sports vs. race narratives

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Tone, Style, and Vibes

This episode is a pure, freewheeling, deeply honest "girl talk" session: spicy, playful, occasionally self-deprecating, and always delivered in a supportive, conspiratorial spirit. The hosts bounce effortlessly between raunchy humor, real advice, and sobering adult lessons. Listeners hear both the wilder sides of surviving your 20s/30s and practical grown-up gems—all with the unique Club 520 flavor.

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Summary Takeaway

If you’re looking for laughs, jaw-dropping honesty, and real-life advice (packaged with plenty of jokes and side stories) about everything from relationships and body count rumors to financial planning and WNBA drama—this episode perfectly captures what Club 520 does best. Barbie’s Miami story is as wild as the title promises, and the girls’ chemistry keeps the whole episode moving. As always: "It’s 5:20 Somewhere!"

Transcript

[Barbie]

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[Barbie]

Hey, it's Rach.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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[Barbie]

Welcome back to another episode of It's 520 Somewhere.

[Kiki]

Oh, girl, you sound like you on that R and B night. What is that? What did it used to be called? What was it called, y'?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All?

[Kiki]

What was it on 106.7 jazz 100.9 quiet storm. The quiet Storm.

[Barbie]

Welcome back to another episode of it's five twenty Somewhere. I am your host, Barbie. Ooh, that's late night Barbie. Call me when you're hot and you're ready. I'm always on time.

[Kiki]

Little Caesars?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

No.

[Kiki]

Little Bitters. You could do that for her. She's always on time, y'. All. You could do that.

[Barbie]

I'm not always on time. I'll just be here before y'.

[Ashley]

All.

[Kiki]

Bitch, you'll be on. You could charge people to talk to on.

[Barbie]

Look at. Look at Mike. I'm never on time. Never.

[Ashley]

Oh, damn.

[Kiki]

That makes sense. Who's the most reliable? Who's late the most? Us three. Thank you. Okay, we know that. I feel like he's late more than me.

[Barbie]

Nah.

[Mike]

What?

[Kiki]

I'm sorry, y'.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All.

[Kiki]

Y' all know I got three kids to my left.

[Barbie]

I got Late Ass Trop in the building. That's Tropic Storm for y' all that

[Kiki]

are wondering at the time. Thunder Daddy.

[Barbie]

And Trop really lives up to her name, y'.

[Ashley]

All.

[Barbie]

She be so cute in her little tropic outfits. Honey, she got some length on it today. One time she came to the club with a little. A little flower dress.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Short.

[Barbie]

No, it was a skirt.

[Kiki]

It was all sor. As I remember.

[Barbie]

And she had a flower in her head. She's so goddamn beautiful. Trap. How you feeling today, Mama?

[Kiki]

I'm feeling so good. I miss y'. All. Thank you, by the way, Bart.

[Barbie]

You're welcome. We miss you, too. How? Road tripping.

[Kiki]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

You did the dash. Were you doing all the driving?

[Kiki]

Yes.

[Barbie]

Yep.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I'm glad you got back here safely.

[Kiki]

Thank you. My girl's a road runner. I channeled my inner Barbie, you know, on that road.

[Barbie]

Got it. What? What? What I'm about to get.

[Kiki]

Are you always on the road, y'? All? My daughter said to me, like, earlier this week, she said, mommy, why you always on the phone? I just started cracking up thinking about y'. All. Why you always on the road?

[Barbie]

Why you always on the road? That is so funny. Nobody. I feel like y' all know it. Me and my father so much movies, like, it's ridiculous. To my right, I got the beautiful Kiki. How you doing, Mama?

[Kiki]

Hey, y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Kiki]

I'm great.

[Barbie]

You are the quiet storm.

[Kiki]

No, you. You really okay? Yeah, I do be, but, you know, I gotta warm up. You know, we just on the same type of timing today. That's okay.

[Barbie]

Always one bed, one sound before we get started. The drink tonight, I've already drunk it,

[Kiki]

and it's so good.

[Barbie]

This is Red Thong Energy, y'. All. I was having a rough. Red Thong Energy.

[Kiki]

Oh, cute.

[Barbie]

I was having a rough week and in the middle of my rough.

[Kiki]

You got on actually commando.

[Barbie]

No, I put some panties on today.

[Ashley]

What?

[Kiki]

Good job. Are they black?

[Barbie]

No, granny. Some Calvin Klein blue thick ass. You know, the little thick ass.

[Kiki]

Oh, I hate them thick thongs. But the granny Penny version are actually really good. Them are my favorite kind of granny panties.

[Barbie]

So favorite panties? Overall thong, G string, granny panties, boy shorts.

[Kiki]

These strings.

[Barbie]

Granny panties, G string. Yeah, it's comfortable.

[Kiki]

Oh, hell yeah. I get lost in this ass.

[Barbie]

See?

[Kiki]

Yeah, my. Not that fast. So. But you got a little bit of coverage. You know, very little. Like where is the coverage?

[Barbie]

But it's gonna get swallowed in the front.

[Kiki]

It covers. It's a coochie coverer.

[Barbie]

It's gonna get swallowed in the front.

[Kiki]

Swallowed.

[Barbie]

Swallowed up. That's not comfortable

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

here.

[Kiki]

She's my. Don't get swallowed. You got a monkey. No, I don't.

[Ashley]

Yes, you do.

[Barbie]

I got a little.

[Kiki]

I seen your like. Do y' all like around.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Kiki]

You didn't. What was this? You jealous maybe. No. You weren't in the bathroom. Y' all hoses fake. Sorry.

[Barbie]

Well, next time.

[Kiki]

Yeah, he had to be there next time.

[Barbie]

We travel here soon. We can all we're supposed to show.

[Kiki]

We can exchange.

[Barbie]

I want to get my booty bleached. Have you ever did that?

[Kiki]

Ah, can we go together, please?

[Barbie]

Let's do it. You coming with us? Just record. You don't have to get.

[Kiki]

You don't gotta get your bleached. I mean, duh. Hell no. When y' all supposed to get y' all titty sp.

[Barbie]

What happened? We.

[Kiki]

Nobody said nothing about that. We said belly buttons.

[Barbie]

We did. They said he got a per.

[Kiki]

Pervert eyes.

[Barbie]

No, no, no, no. Y' all not going to put that on mouth. Y' all said y' all was going to get y' all down unders.

[Kiki]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

What's it called again? Christina.

[Kiki]

Yeah, but mouth not about to record that. You can get those. You can get the little PG13 belly button.

[Barbie]

I need my nose and my belly button piercing.

[Kiki]

Have you had your nose before?

[Barbie]

Multiple times. Okay, we need to get back to that era that was.

[Kiki]

The nose is so cute. I'm just so scared.

[Barbie]

Like, what if it keeps keloid your skin keloids.

[Kiki]

No, but I would be so shitty if my face had a keloid on it. I'd be shitty.

[Barbie]

Yeah, that would be absolutely terrible. But before we got started, we was just dancing to Booty Me Down. If you want to see our little. I don't know what that segment of us dancing is called.

[Kiki]

That's our warm up.

[Barbie]

Our warm up. Subscribe to our Patreon.

[Kiki]

It's. Sorry.

[Barbie]

Go ahead, tell them.

[Kiki]

Pop your boss. My bad. I. I'm sorry. No, no, I was just adding the icebreaker, y', all, and it's pretty fire.

[Barbie]

Club520 Patreon. Make sure y' all go and subscribe. Join Club520Mafia for all the uncut behind the scenes and all of our twerking videos. Y'.

[Kiki]

All.

[Barbie]

Y' all want to be there, right? Make sure y' all are there. But while we're on that topic of twerking, what was y' all favorite twerking song back in the days? Like, was y' all in the house party doing the splits? Get having that guy get held up while you throwing that thing.

[Kiki]

He was definitely doing. It was my. Was my booty meat down. You know what else went crazy? Girl, the way you moving got me in a train. Russell, that was a little. That was a little older. You know what else went crazy? Rico's Free Coast. Bounce that ass. Make them knees touch her elbows.

[Barbie]

Now that's an old school song. Y' all got an auntie that to this day, she like 60, baby. She gonna get lower than anybody at the party. Like, she what? She can do the split. She can put her leg up. She gonna put her. Make her knees touch her elk.

[Kiki]

She got classes.

[Barbie]

She got 12 kids, baby. She don't. She don't.

[Kiki]

She got a classroom. Don't know what, too. We gotta bring back limbo, y'.

[Barbie]

All.

[Kiki]

We gotta do limbo at the cookouts. And my neck and my back. Oh, Kanye, my bag.

[Barbie]

Lick my lemon drop in my crack. Now I had to ask my friends and they said, Ms. New Booty Whistle while you church.

[Kiki]

Okay. Yeah.

[Barbie]

Young jock, knock it out. I knocked it.

[Kiki]

Oh, that's so good.

[Barbie]

Young jock went so crazy young.

[Kiki]

I fought to him, Remember? We fought to him.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah, we did.

[Kiki]

It was it. I know you see it. I think so. Yeah. How did that Annie many in the club one go. No, cuz we literally. It was like a group of us versus a group of them. And we all. I. It was because of me.

[Barbie]

Y' all could have had a dance

[Kiki]

KN who I was going to fight. We could have been in. Everybody else just picked who they was going to bump with.

[Barbie]

So y' all was literally any mini miny mo type. And then you just got.

[Kiki]

That was. That was when our one friend, when the one girl tried to cop a plea with her and she was like, oh, yeah. She like, I want you you got the rings on. And my friend, she is a headbuster. She was like. The girl was like, I can take them all. She like somebody else. Somebody else picked me.

[Barbie]

I didn't fight them kind of girls. If you was known for being a headbuster, you got it, queen girl. I got somebody for you. My big cousin Ashley gonna come through and wreck shit. She not scared of no bottles, no nothing. Me, no, thank you. I wanna. I wanna fight somebody of mine.

[Kiki]

Petite, like, same weight class. Like, pick on somebody on your own size. Head, ass.

[Barbie]

Well, y' all turned that left I was talking about.

[Kiki]

I know, right?

[Barbie]

Twerking y' all with some headbusters. So. Headbuster songs while we here.

[Kiki]

No. We didn't even finish our book. Fine. It headbuster.

[Barbie]

Don't you.

[Kiki]

But she got a. Don't. She got it. That was like.

[Barbie]

I like the way she moved and the way she stopped and broke.

[Kiki]

Y', all, why did y'. All. Y' all used to make me laugh every time I heard. Yeah, I mean, I couldn't play it without cracking up laughing. Even on some sober. Remember we used to just be in a car playing that. That song. Just joking. That was good times. So he was the first to make us cry, laughing.

[Barbie]

Shake that monkey can't do it like

[Kiki]

that with a dick in her own. Sorry.

[Barbie]

Too short. Uncle Luke, did y' all know. Y' all know any Uncle Luke songs?

[Kiki]

Toosie Rose. Is that him? Is that him, too?

[Barbie]

It's not Uncle Luke. I don't know,

[Kiki]

Baby.

[Barbie]

They gonna come out in this thing.

[Kiki]

Let me assist.

[Barbie]

All right.

[Kiki]

Oh, you know who else had a run? Travis Porter. I remember. Go, Shorty Goat. Shorty, shorty. Go, Shorty, Shorty, go. She was dancing like a stripper, so I had to throw someone. She winked her right me and said, I'm trying to have some fun.

[Barbie]

Yeah. Travis. Travis.

[Kiki]

Waka Flaco.

[Barbie]

Yeah, I had a cheerleading dance to that. Like, Travis Porter actually had the club.

[Kiki]

No, they had them bangers. They used to come to the college parties they came to cause. Waka Flaka came to iu. Travis supporter came to Purdue. One of them tried to isu. Both of them went to isu, too. I'm sure.

[Barbie]

Make it rain. Travis Porter. How'd that go? How it go, Mike?

[Kiki]

Oh, y. I don't. I can't.

[Barbie]

I don't know.

[Kiki]

But remember getting naked. Take your clothes off.

[Barbie]

Now the small.

[Kiki]

My favorite thing was, y', all, I'm having a brain fart. I make it rain. What. What was the song?

[Barbie]

Make it rain trick make it, make

[Kiki]

it rain trick hey.

[Barbie]

Make it rain trick. Yeah. Travis Porter had it on absolute, absolute lock. But as far as, like, the slow grinding songs that no hand by plies or Please excuse. Please excuse my hands.

[Kiki]

They just want to touch it. They just want to feel something. Something.

[Barbie]

Y ever been.

[Kiki]

That wasn't the best one.

[Barbie]

That was my favorite one y', all ever. Or Bedroom Boom by Yin Yang Twins.

[Kiki]

Bedroom boom. Wait, okay. What are we talking about? Y' all remember Purple Kisses? Cuz I'm like. Hold on, wait, what. What genre are we on? Oh, okay. R. Kelly, the wine song. Wine for me. Slow up popping.

[Barbie]

Oh, yeah.

[Kiki]

Chris Brown. His whole. His whole little cd. You didn't have discography. Yeah, yeah, that was album crack. You ain't got.

[Barbie]

That was just getting ready. A slow grinding and twerking in the house parties was just getting ready for us to be some hot thoughts once we got older.

[Kiki]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

So let me ask y', all, speaking of which.

[Kiki]

Oh, wait, I'm sorry. While we're on the topic of music, because we talked about music when you weren't here the other day.

[Barbie]

But we missed you.

[Kiki]

Remember that?

[Barbie]

We missed you.

[Kiki]

The real Miss Penny Proud. Yes, unfortunately. So the white girl. Remember I was talking about the white girl, but she sound black in the song.

[Barbie]

You figured out what it was?

[Kiki]

Why it came on my YouTube yesterday. It was the song. It was like, oh, my gosh. Now you don't escape me.

[Barbie]

Damn.

[Kiki]

It's okay. I'll come back to it. My bad. Damn. You did all that?

[Barbie]

I know she gonna get it out before this episode, y'.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All.

[Barbie]

Kiki gonna tell us, cuz she been. She been really on this. Oh, let's get into it.

[Kiki]

Y' all was about to forget again,

[Barbie]

but check get your what

[Kiki]

drops tonight.

[Barbie]

We on Red Thong Energy. And this. This drink got us feeling.

[Kiki]

It matches my dress period.

[Barbie]

Come on, Kiki. What you giving today? Ocean mommy giving Yitty yitty Yitty Big

[Kiki]

pressure my best black granny panties for this. What? That's not a one piece.

[Barbie]

I thought that was faint.

[Kiki]

The one piece is a thong, so I had to put. Put green over. Okay. They look nice.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Go ahead.

[Barbie]

Okay. They look nice. Where your shoes, girl? Her on the shoes. Okay. Okay.

[Kiki]

Big M sorry, cuz I keep wearing them shoes and it's giving them is the only shoes I got.

[Barbie]

No, it's not giving that.

[Kiki]

I'm barefoot. I'm. I'm on an island. That's our mama. Sea Tuesday.

[Barbie]

Ocean breeze.

[Kiki]

I like a. That like to lay low.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

Ocean breeze.

[Kiki]

Jack.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I can't.

[Kiki]

This my twin. We're matching black on black. Oh, did I even get a good clip? I didn't even get a good. I gotta go again because I didn't get a good clip for the real. Sorry, y'.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All.

[Barbie]

What? Come on. What you doing for the clip?

[Kiki]

I don't know. I just.

[Barbie]

Kylie, make sure you use everything but this.

[Kiki]

He could use when we was targeting, like, the holding this in the back then.

[Barbie]

All right, thank you.

[Kiki]

Oh, my gosh. You're gonna make me get up, too.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All right.

[Barbie]

Speaking of trouble, because now I gotta

[Kiki]

think about that because he. Leave it alone. Okay?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Get.

[Kiki]

You got the floor. I wasn't. I was.

[Barbie]

Y' all know we got 45 minutes to shoot this episode. Come on.

[Kiki]

No, don't go. I'm saying no, because you really gotta think about that now. Because part of the fit checking it be in the real actually get on angle. Cause I be up there dicking around, you know?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Oh, okay.

[Kiki]

The song is shouty Swing my way. That's a white girl.

[Barbie]

I'm so glad she got to get that out.

[Kiki]

Now. Would you please swing my way?

[Barbie]

Never knew that was a white girl.

[Kiki]

Is that a white girl shouting Swing my way? Yeah. All right.

[Barbie]

Speaking of Kiki and tribe hoes.

[Kiki]

I'm just playing, not a hoe. What he said. He said. I meant that in the hood.

[Barbie]

My bad, bitch.

[Kiki]

I'm a 0.5.

[Barbie]

I want to ask y'. All. Y' all know we like to keep it real with the chat. And we got. We got men and women that watch, right? So I wanted to know. I'm just trying to get your attention. No, it's levels to be in the hoe, right?

[Kiki]

Hey, hoes.

[Barbie]

It's levels to be in the hoe, right?

[Kiki]

Yeah, I would.

[Barbie]

Yeah, give it to me. I feel like there's some trap. Some trap terminology to talk us through it. Trap not saying you the biggest hoe or nothing.

[Kiki]

Words from the block by chop.

[Barbie]

What. What's the whole terminology? Like, what's the levels of it?

[Kiki]

I don't know. Like, I know I would consider myself,

[Barbie]

like, you ain't gotta say yourself. Just.

[Kiki]

You don't put the H in ho. But I'm walking down. But I. I got. I put the H and ho.

[Ashley]

This is Ashley from the Ben and Ashley Eye Almost Famous podcast. Ben. I've been reflecting a lot lately on how many big life moments our listeners have experienced with us.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's pretty wild.

[Ashley]

They've watched us go from dating shows to engagements, weddings, babies buying homes. Every stage comes with new decisions.

[Mike]

The milestones are the fun part, but the planning is where things get real.

[Ashley]

That's why Klarna stands out. Klarna gives people smarter tools to help manage everyday money with flexible ways to pay cash back that builds automatically everything in one place and support that makes everyday decisions feel less overwhelming.

[Mike]

Since life moves so fast, the right tools can help you feel more confident. Download the Klarna app today or visit klarna.com to learn more.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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You know what quality feels like. You can see it in the way a fabric moves, recognize it in a flawless fit, and appreciate it in the details that make our styles unique. It's the standard Coldwater Creek has honored for over 40 years, derived from a rich Mountain west heritage and designed for today in styles that are distinctively Coldwater Creek. For a wardrobe you can count on season after season, visit coldwatercreek.com, shop new arrivals and save 15% on purchases. Purchases 75 or more with code I

[Kiki]

heart I'm walking down the different left. The different tiers talk us through it. I consider myself hoe. You know, like a halfway hoe. I ain't really like a I'm not a turnout. I Ain't never been flipped or so. No. No prostitution type? Type of. And then there's like. So that's like the top of the hoe. And then going down the totem pole, we got like, a hoe who's like a hoe, you know? And then under that.

[Ashley]

What makes her.

[Barbie]

What? Oh, what makes her a ho above you?

[Kiki]

She's just an unapologetic hoe like me. I still got, like, a little bit of, you know, when you got that little voice, angel on your shoulder, like, bitch, don't do that. Don't wild out. But sometimes I do.

[Barbie]

But so the hoe that's above you, she in the same hoods, brothers,

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

people

[Barbie]

that's on the same team for somebody

[Kiki]

from every hood, then cracked her. Maybe even more than one nigga from every hood.

[Barbie]

So that's the. That ain't the top zero.

[Kiki]

I'm saying, what's the turnout? The top. What's the turnout is, bro, you getting trains ran on you.

[Barbie]

Malk. Look, he got something to say.

[Mike]

You want him.

[Kiki]

He selling coochie. And then so, like, the tear under her is like just. Everybody done. Everybody done hit.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Okay?

[Kiki]

Somebody from everywhere, maybe multiple people didn't hit or, like the whole just. You don't even gotta be their boyfriend or be talking to them for real. She giving you. Yeah. Type like, she don't got no mind. She don't got no.

[Barbie]

She just horny.

[Kiki]

She don't got nothing.

[Barbie]

She the H and hoe. Horny hoe.

[Kiki]

There you go.

[Barbie]

Homeless.

[Kiki]

No, she put the hoe in her. I said, that's here. She's an unapologetic hoe. Like, she don't care, you know? And then you got me. I'm not like, I do put a little bit of thought into this, but.

[Barbie]

But if I seize you, I want you.

[Kiki]

Yeah, I want you. The Lord is my shepherd. You know what I want. I got the Lord already. I just wanted it.

[Barbie]

I'm.

[Kiki]

I'm not a hoe. So I claim that right now. Okay, you're not. And then you got Kiki. She's just like a normal bitch. And then you got. And then you got under her, you got a good girl. And then under her, you got. The good girl.

[Barbie]

Is under kid.

[Kiki]

No, she might be like a good girl hybrid with a normal. You're a good girl.

[Barbie]

She a sneaky hoe.

[Kiki]

I had a little face. No, I'm not no sneaky hoe. I'll be honest. I'll be honest about my. What you got to say for my age My numbers are real doable. Yeah, they're good. My resume is cool. I got all A's on my report. I got A minus, B plus. Nah, I'm with lotto. Lotto got lotto. Like, how many. How many bites did you say she had? 3 or 4.

[Barbie]

She can count on one on one hand.

[Kiki]

Oh, I got you about 2, baby. Did you just. Okay. I didn't say I got two. I said, somewhere in there. You never know.

[Barbie]

I could still count on my fingers.

[Kiki]

6. Could be. It probably is. You never know. Could be lucky number seven. Could be. You know, you gotta add a couple. No, you don't. At least he ain't say, multiply by three. You feel me? Y' all gotta add the.

[Mike]

That be like.

[Kiki]

But I don't know y'.

[Tony Ayo]

All.

[Kiki]

I'm not sorry.

[Tony Ayo]

No.

[Kiki]

Oh, question. What y' all think? I wasn't about to say.

[Barbie]

Yes, you was.

[Kiki]

I was just about to say what y' all think about the tears of the hoes.

[Barbie]

I think it goes like you said, turn out like, just disgusting. Just do anything and then it goes. Somebody that, like you said, messes with different. She wouldn't care if you his brother, his daddy, whatever. She gonna do that. Because a hoe has a name for herself. Like, if you ask about her. Oh, that's a hoe. That's a whore. That's such and such. Now it's a girl up under her. She ain't no good girl. She got some bodies, but you ain't gonna hear men talking about her like that. But her numbers is too high for her not to be a hoe.

[Kiki]

But her, that's me. Okay, but her right there. Did she be. Do she fuck Friend? You stupid. Wait, have y' all ever. Have y' all ever. Have we ever what? Two friends or two years tribute. What you say? Two friends Two friends or two family members?

[Barbie]

Two friends?

[Kiki]

Two from the same hood.

[Barbie]

Two friends.

[Kiki]

I mean, it was years apart. Hey, try tell them. Say them like, that ain't my we like hood. Why your nigga got eyes for me? I got a out here look just like me. What she look? What he looking at me for?

[Barbie]

If I was a twin, I'd be like, that was Kiki, buddy, not me.

[Kiki]

From the hood.

[Barbie]

We like.

[Kiki]

We could say that we're street. It could be from the same hood or like, same basketball team. Girl, if they went to the same school, it don't matter.

[Barbie]

Same school. No, same basketball team. That's a close enough quarters that they can sit in the room.

[Kiki]

Boyfriends that were Best friends. What? And they were both my boy.

[Mike]

All right?

[Barbie]

Knock your notch up on your whole total.

[Kiki]

But I was. We. But it was relationships. It's not my fault. Yeah, everybody wants you a homie hopper. Call me what you want. You trying to be funny. You not supposed to fuck the friends. You supposed to fuck the opps. Listen, okay. One of them was my boyfriend in high school. One of them was my boyfriend after high school.

[Tony Ayo]

School.

[Barbie]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Kiki]

No, it's not. I mean, but we were. I don't like, like, talking about year long. Years long.

[Barbie]

I don't like stuff like that. Me and literally be like, I walked past him in the grocery store. You know, he know me. Why would you talk to him? That ain't.

[Kiki]

Then the other be like, that ain't my. I don't even know. That ain't fair.

[Barbie]

If y' all played at the 30 plus team and y' all played in high school, y' all not friends. I don't care. So much time in between.

[Kiki]

Yeah, not only that. That's your friend. I don't care.

[Barbie]

You don't care about cracking my beautician. The person that does my nails? The person that watches my kid. Y' all don't care about my nurse, so don't worry about. Yeah, fight back. Fight back. Nothing to say.

[Mike]

I agree.

[Barbie]

So what? So it's. I.

[Tony Ayo]

But.

[Kiki]

But if y' all smash somebody, you care about that you cracked. Do you care? No.

[Barbie]

Men are playing in the wnba, goddamn it. So let me tell you something. Don't worry about.

[Kiki]

Not yet. Not yet. However. How do you know it's not real, Y'.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All.

[Kiki]

They're. They're making a stand. They're making us stand.

[Barbie]

We don't get canceled.

[Kiki]

They're making a stand. They're not for real, by the way. All right, what's. Who do you think does it more? Do you think men lie on their dick more? Or women lie and say they didn't? Fuck that. Good morning.

[Barbie]

I think women, Women, women gotta multiply times three.

[Kiki]

That's extreme. I think women. Although I do feel like when it comes to body count, if they're dead, it don't count.

[Barbie]

If it was little, it don't count. If they.

[Kiki]

If they did. I don't know. Dead and little kind of counts now. Condom sex barely counts. Two littles make one. I still crack you. Because if I didn't love you enough, really feel what's going on, then I still crack you. I'm just playing. I count it all. But I just.

[Barbie]

Even if I Hit you part of my collection.

[Kiki]

That's like a girl hitting the group chat. This dick was so weak. I still what if. All right, what if who you lying on your.

[Barbie]

No, my group chat can be like you. We bump my.

[Kiki]

Ain't never even seen that man in real life. I still no you because we told

[Barbie]

y' all female bodies don't count. So if your thing was small enough to feel like I was rubbing against a clit, it still. It don't count.

[Kiki]

Baby, y' all was scissoring. Y' all lesbians.

[Barbie]

All right, so let me ask y'.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All.

[Barbie]

You have to Delete one sex. $10 million. Your teeth and no options for veneers or dentures.

[Kiki]

Well, sex includes oral. And I ain't gonna hold y'.

[Barbie]

All.

[Kiki]

I' ma delete $10 million.

[Barbie]

I ain't got it now.

[Kiki]

I don't need it. Then, God damn it, I will survive. I will survive. I'm doing okay. Like, I'm not doing bad enough to where I don't need sex and I need my teeth. And I can't get no veneers, no nothing.

[Barbie]

It's like to. To walk around, like, what you can make 10 million dollar doing that.

[Kiki]

Your mouth gonna get all wrinkly. I'm cool, actually. It's like a dog that exercises the muscles. And I actually think it helps, which is why I need a. Hey, tap in. Because I ain't trying to go get

[Barbie]

the oral helps your teeth.

[Kiki]

I think that. I think that giving head helps your, like, facial. I feel like it will make you bug teeth strong. It's kind of like thumbs up. You act like you sitting with the dick in your mouth sometimes. I might be. I might sleep with it in my mouth.

[Barbie]

Love a girl.

[Kiki]

Real love a girl. Y' all are ugly breath. I might sleep with it in, bitch, not with it in my mouth.

[Barbie]

Your breath gonna be funky if you have your mouth open and something in your mouth. Your breath stinks in the morning anyway.

[Kiki]

It's open, it's closed.

[Barbie]

You ain't sleeping with it.

[Kiki]

Chop. It's a stomach. Stop, stop. Charlie, if you put your thumb in your mouth, is your mouth open or closed?

[Barbie]

I don't know. I never sucked my thumb a day in my life. I suck dick a long time, but I've never.

[Kiki]

Do your mouth be open when you suck dick?

[Barbie]

Sometimes when I do a little tongue on it.

[Kiki]

Not all the time.

[Barbie]

I'm saying sleeping. Your mouth is open when you sleep.

[Kiki]

No, it's not a question. We have started in your mouth sex.

[Barbie]

$10 million are your teeth?

[Kiki]

Which one can go?

[Barbie]

Y' all want to be broke Bitches?

[Kiki]

Sex. I'll take this ten M's. What? Yes. Hello. Life is not worth living. And this is the thing. It's not. I don't even need sex that much. But I'm just saying like it'll probably be like, no, once my kids are grown. It'll probably be harder because it's like, you won't have kids, bitch. Are you cool?

[Barbie]

She already got them.

[Kiki]

I'm thinking of never experienced sex ever in life. No, I'm talking about never again.

[Barbie]

Order, order, order.

[Kiki]

Never again. That's a little different.

[Barbie]

Never again sexual.

[Kiki]

Never again. I'm thinking I've never had sex in life.

[Barbie]

No. Never again.

[Kiki]

Never again.

[Barbie]

Our life says they is right now.

[Kiki]

I'm gonna still say the 10 meal. I don't give a fuck. I gotta have sex. I'm like, I take it it's not even an offensive for a doll. But it's also like. You mean to tell me I can't create this like bond connection with no other person ever again in life? I just gotta do sex my whole for the rest.

[Barbie]

You talking about a bottom.

[Kiki]

I'm gonna be self loving.

[Barbie]

You cried during sex?

[Kiki]

Yes.

[Barbie]

Over what? This woman's. What?

[Kiki]

This woman, she had just got out and it was so good and I had. Oh my God. I know. She was crying. What? Spooky. Oh my God. Don't even be caring about you, bitch. I was a lover girl, okay? He was over there looking at you like bitch spiky king. He was my poor. And he got out and it was so good. I really let my pussy marinate for real. So I wasn't cheating or anything. And it was just like. I'mma let that motherfucker marinate for real with that $10 million.

[Barbie]

Just take my teeth.

[Kiki]

I'mma booch off your shit.

[Barbie]

Just take my cheek.

[Kiki]

Choco had 10 mil. I'm throw me like a meal or two. I'm not throwing you shit, bitch. You getting dick. You chose your mother. Pick your poison, bitch.

[Barbie]

All right.

[Kiki]

You want to get nutted in. You get that? Me, I'm Mr. What's the Crazy bar.

[Barbie]

I said take my teeth.

[Kiki]

Fuck her. I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna have 10 meal in my

[Barbie]

pocket and I'm gonna get cracked that night.

[Kiki]

And I'm a

[Barbie]

little too small.

[Kiki]

Barb gonna be. Barb gonna be wear her mouth closed. All our pictures. This bitch gonna be looking like a dog. This bitch gonna be up here sounding like, bitch, you Ain't gonna be able to eat welcome. This bitch mashed potatoes and French. Another thing, I'm a ruby. I can't have no. No teeth.

[Barbie]

Oh, no. I done seen somebody with no teeth get down on a ribeye. Y' all not about to tell me. Baby, she knocked the out of there.

[Kiki]

Give her some time at the table.

[Barbie]

Give her some time at the table.

[Kiki]

Did you.

[Barbie]

Y' all know what she can't eat.

[Kiki]

You gonna have a puree diet.

[Barbie]

You know what you can't eat? Some Long John sauce.

[Kiki]

Okay, cool. Barbie gonna have that money.

[Barbie]

I' ma have that money.

[Kiki]

Don't give birth. I can't call you.

[Barbie]

I ain't got no teeth.

[Kiki]

You chose dick over here. No dick is worth $10 million. I'm so sorry. Nah, nah.

[Barbie]

He got up now.

[Kiki]

My second choice. My second choice. Nah, we didn't ask that. I don't know. I don't know. I can't. I can't. I can't run around.

[Barbie]

Sex is very important, Truck.

[Kiki]

No, it's not.

[Barbie]

I be feeling like I'm ready.

[Kiki]

Oh, my God, bro. I done did enough dicks for a lifetime. I'm cool. We just had this conversation.

[Mike]

Money.

[Kiki]

Run me the money, bro.

[Mike]

What?

[Kiki]

What you picking, Mel? What you got to say? I'm picking six.

[Barbie]

You gonna jack off for the rest of your life? It includes oral.

[Kiki]

Malcolm, you're a Nepo, baby. He don't even need the 10, okay? Come on.

[Barbie]

You make that in a week. What the hell are you doing?

[Kiki]

He want to be a trench baby so bad. You don't need the money. You don't even got no kids. You don't got 10 mil.

[Barbie]

You don't know what mount guy.

[Kiki]

Why you always coming for milk? What are you then? What you need the other 10 meal for?

[Barbie]

Multiply.

[Kiki]

Well, give me food if you money, make me come, bitch.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Not enough.

[Kiki]

Not enough. All right, okay, y', all, move.

[Barbie]

Move. This. This is not how I seen today's episode going. But we are here.

[Kiki]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

Y' all see while we're talking about money, invest in life insurance. Did Y' all see 85South talking about how people don't have life insurance?

[Kiki]

Yes, they don't. I did.

[Barbie]

A lot of black people in the community don't have life insurance. And let me tell y', all, I used to sell life insurance. Part of my another multiple hats I had.

[Kiki]

And do you have it?

[Barbie]

Do I have life insurance?

[Kiki]

Yes, ma', am, I do.

[Barbie]

I probably need to pay it right now.

[Kiki]

Yeah. Okay.

[Barbie]

Do you outside of your job, outside of your job.

[Kiki]

Duh.

[Barbie]

What a separate life insurance.

[Kiki]

I mean, I always had health insurance, but I always had life insurance.

[Barbie]

But on 85 South, y' all listen, on 85 south, he said that his uncle signed up for life insurance through his job, put the girl that he was cracking as his beneficiary. He died.

[Kiki]

That was his fault.

[Barbie]

The wife and the family got nothing. Girl walked up, sashayed up and picked her 10 million and was gone and they wanted to kick her ass.

[Kiki]

She wrong because you could have threw something to the kids.

[Barbie]

Fuck you.

[Kiki]

No, he's wrong.

[Ashley]

Fuck yeah, this is Ashley from the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast. Ben I've been reflecting a lot lately on how many big life moments our listeners have experienced with us.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's pretty wild.

[Ashley]

They've watched us go from dating shows to engagements, weddings, babies, buying homes. Every stage comes with new decisions.

[Mike]

The milestones are the fun part, but the planning is where things get real.

[Ashley]

That's why Klarna stands out. Klarna gives people smarter tools to help manage everyday money with flexible ways to pay cash back that builds automatically everything in one place and support that makes everyday decisions feel less overwhelming.

[Mike]

Since life moves so fast, the right tools can help you feel more confident. Download the Klarna app today or visit klarna.com to learn more.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

California Resident Loans made or arranged pursuant to a California Finance law license and MLS number 1353190 Klarna balance account required to be eligible for cashback points. Limitations, terms and conditions apply.

Health care can feel complicated. That's why Optum uses technology to connect the people and processes that make health care easier, more affordable, and more effective. We're making it easier, clearer for you to know exactly what your benefits cover and to help you better manage your health. We're coordinating care between your doctors and your technology. We believe better, simpler healthcare is always possible. That's healthy optimism. That's Optum. Visit optum.com to learn more.

You know what quality feels like. You can see it in the way a fabric moves, recognize it in a flawless fit, and appreciate it in the details that make our styles unique. It's the standard Coldwater Creek has honored for over 40 years, derived from a rich Mountain west heritage and designed for today in styles that are distinctively Coldwater Creek. For a wardrobe you can count on season after season, visit coldwatercreek.com, shop new arrivals and save 15% on purchases $75 or more with code iHeart.

[Barbie]

Hey, it's Rach.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

And if you're like me, you want treats that are simple and taste amazing. And that's why I love Johnny Pops. They're deliciously made with simple ingredients and no artificial dyes. Whether it's a quick stick snack for the kids or a sweet moment for yourself, Johnny Pops are the perfect treat. And there's a kind deed on every stick to encourage everyone to share a little kindness. So next time you're in the freezer aisle, grab a box of Johnny Pops and feel great about what you're sharing. Johnny Pops. A better pop for a better world.

[Kiki]

Definitely blew it. But I'm just saying though, like. But that's how a do. Because there are men who so whipped. They're remarried, right. And they'll put their wife on as their sole beneficiary. And they think, oh, she's gonna. She loves me. She's gonna give it. She's gonna disperse it to my kids or whatever. You stupid. She gonna take that money and run and she gonna sell your houses and whatever else you got going on. I was in a relationship. I've heard story. I'm so sorry. Real quick. I've heard stories of wives. Like a man dying. He got kids. He got an ex wife. Da da da. She. She done had a private funeral. Didn't invite the kids, none of the family. And then got the money and then got little got out of there. And that's another never heard from again.

[Barbie]

Get your life insurance. First thing first. Get the life insurance and then you have to set up a will because that. To prevent like that from happening, you have to have the system in place.

[Kiki]

You have to trust. Yeah, like you want that Part about this is I don't even have a beneficiary elected. So what happens in that case? My kids get it when they turn 18. I have. That's too much. Yeah. I'm saying I didn't ask you your personal.

[Barbie]

Yeah, it has to go through like the state and all that. They'll hold it and then they'll divvy it up the way that they went. It depends on your insurance.

[Kiki]

All my kids are beneficiaries, but then I have a sister who I've designated as like. They don't get it. Huh. Okay. He's a smart guy. Okay. Eventually, when they turn 18 or today, Daddy immediately you.

[Barbie]

It's a. It's all. It's like

[Kiki]

it is on it. It's on. Okay. But I don't have an adult assigned, so you. I am. I am. I swear. I've been telling myself I'm assigned Somebody for, like, years. Establish a living wheel, and then it'll roll over to exactly what you want.

[Barbie]

I'm just not saying it as educated as Mike.

[Mike]

You did.

[Kiki]

No, you said it. Hooked on finances with Mike. So you go get an attorney, and then they do the will for you.

[Mike]

You.

[Kiki]

Okay, cool. I will say, y', all, you can

[Barbie]

make a copy of it, of how you want it, and then take it to an attorney for them to, like, approve and do this.

[Kiki]

Okay.

[Barbie]

Or you can sit down with them. It's just.

[Kiki]

So I was in a relationship, y', all, and I was, like, re. Electing my benefits and. And I was doing my, like, life insurance and the. I was putting them on my insurance. As you know, we were on the family plan and all that. And so remembered it.

[Barbie]

I had put you on there as your spouse.

[Kiki]

I can. You want to be reference.

[Barbie]

Well, we're gonna.

[Kiki]

You're gonna have to pay how you weigh every now and at least once a month.

[Barbie]

That's cool. We'll talk about it. Off.

[Kiki]

Okay, cool.

[Barbie]

Go ahead. So you was putting him.

[Tony Ayo]

So.

[Kiki]

Yeah, I was putting him on the benefits. I was putting him. And I've. I have life insurance policy on me. He's the other adult. He would have had it on him. And then. And also, obviously, there's an option if there anything happens to anyone that's covered by the plan. So boom. So he was on it or whatever. And then. But I didn't have it social. I needed it, like, once he, like, got back home or whatever. So I was telling him or whatever that I signed. Adding him life insurance policy. No, he's not in jail anyway, girl, tell me why this was acting like I was gonna set him up. I'm just like, you're too in the trenches for me. I cannot, like, so anyway, I didn't. No health insurance for you help.

[Barbie]

If you are dating a guy that's in the streets, get life insurance on me. That it's ways to get that social. Get it and apply it, girl, that's.

[Kiki]

That's not consensual. That's illegal.

[Barbie]

I'm just kidding. He gonna give you his social. They slow. They don't know how to fill out applications.

[Kiki]

They know they got a policy on them. But I'm just saying, if you a with money, and I'm used to you paying my bills, bitch. I need life insurance on you. And I'm a breakout, and I'm gonna give some to your kids.

[Barbie]

Kiki's nice.

[Kiki]

I guess he thought your baby mama

[Barbie]

should have life insurance. Policies on you for their kids. I'm protecting my peace. I would be that lady that pulled up to Chico Bean's family house and got my check and walked in. I got my check and I was gone. Rest in peace, Elroy. Why always name all the old Elroy?

[Kiki]

I don't know, it's just fitting, I guess.

[Barbie]

Kiki, speaking of cheating, what you gotta talk to us about this week about these cheating ass niggas?

[Kiki]

I don't know. I'm not in a relationship, so I can't relate. I ain't been cheated on in a long ass time. You don't got a real bitch. Oh, yeah, I do have a real. She forgot her lines. I said tell them. Tell them I forgot my lines.

[Barbie]

Shout out to the Red Thong Energy today.

[Kiki]

Woman is going viral. Oh, this? I saw this. You seen this? Hey, I used to act like I

[Barbie]

felt like that before.

[Kiki]

Oh my God, y', all, I swear I did some like that before. Bday party. I want to. Allegedly catching him cheating after seven years together.

[Barbie]

Like, what woman is going viral?

[Kiki]

I ain't going to hold you. That. First heartbreak will do that. That.

[Barbie]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Y' all didn't read everything. All because she found out her man was with another dude.

[Kiki]

Yeah, but I did it. No, not. That ain't. I can't relate to that. However, the first time I thought I got. No, it wasn't a. It wasn't a man.

[Barbie]

It says it on there.

[Kiki]

That's a lie.

[Barbie]

It was just a. Oh, you seen this? The whole thing?

[Kiki]

Yeah, it was just. He was just cheating. He had another girl at his birthday dinner or whatever.

[Barbie]

Queen, pick your head up and. And. And go on from there.

[Kiki]

I ain't gonna hold y'.

[Barbie]

All.

[Kiki]

I don't think I would have did.

[Barbie]

It does say that.

[Kiki]

This is not even.

[Barbie]

Somebody took this.

[Kiki]

I saw it on like the Neighborhood Talk or something more. More credible like that.

[Barbie]

Hi.

[Kiki]

You gay.

[Barbie]

Why would you ask that?

[Kiki]

I'm recording and everything. I'm sending this to your mama.

[Barbie]

Like, his mama knows she raised his ass.

[Kiki]

No, she don't. She gonna be shocked. Just like you got the boyfriend at

[Barbie]

the party with the mama mama right there. I gotta ride with him, Trap.

[Kiki]

Hey, did y' all see that one girl who found out her dude was gay and he was like catfishing people with her her nudes and she got him locked up as she should.

[Barbie]

Queen.

[Kiki]

Y', all, can we talk about this heartbreak? Go ahead. Can you relate? Hell yeah. You know, I can remember you screaming, remember? Oh, my mama I did something just like this. I was like, 19, bitch. Bro. No. Because when you young and you get your heart, that hit different. I'm talking about. And then he was like, me. He was trying to leave. Bitch, I'm grabbing on his leg. I'm like, no, don't drop. She was hanging on. I was like, are you okay? No, listen.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I was.

[Barbie]

No.

[Kiki]

When he finally made it to the door, this was like, no. I'm like, you embarrassing us. Stop, Shima. I can't help it, Y'.

[Tony Ayo]

All.

[Kiki]

This hurt, too. But no, that hurt when you ain't hurt. They didn't have a kid together or not. Like, okay, we're seasoned. Like, I. I take that on the chest. I'm used to. That's why I am the way that I am now.

[Barbie]

You was not cutting up like that.

[Kiki]

Oh, yes, I was.

[Barbie]

Get up.

[Kiki]

I felt. You ain't never felt pain.

[Barbie]

M. Why the are you looking at us?

[Kiki]

And then Kiki was right there after. And then he left.

[Barbie]

And Kiki's like, okay, Barbie's crash out story. I flew to Miami.

[Kiki]

Oh, you valid already yourself.

[Barbie]

Okay, listen.

[Kiki]

You flew. I helped this guy who paid for the flight?

[Barbie]

Me. Listen, listen. It gets wicked. I helped this guy. This guy, he was traveling.

[Kiki]

Embarrassing.

[Barbie]

Listen, I'm gonna keep it real with y', all, because y' all ain't never

[Kiki]

felt pain like I felt before. Pass the bottle, bitch. I didn't do no trash out. I was just embarrassing because I kept going back to a cheating ass nigga.

[Tony Ayo]

All right.

[Barbie]

Yeah, that too. So, listen, I had helped him, like, look for this trip, like, book this trip or whatever. He ended up booking it through another girl. But I was helping him book this trip, like. Cause I'm all for. A man should have his time to be with his guys and have fun outside of you.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Right?

[Barbie]

Right. So helped him. Was helping him look for the trip. He ended up booking it through the girl that he was going down there with. Because when you get to the room, you gotta have, like. You got to have, like, an I.D. and all that.

[Kiki]

So he used her I.D. yeah. Or like, when a have his car in another bitch. Name of you being that.

[Barbie]

So listen. So he sent me. This is so long ago. He sent a picture of him sitting in the room. He didn't. This is when live first came. Live photos came. So I held the live photo down,

[Kiki]

and it was a.

[Barbie]

In the background, I heard her talking.

[Kiki]

Oh, I went ahead. Sidebar.

[Barbie]

Go ahead.

[Kiki]

When y' all send nudes screenshot, it do not like photo. It Screenshot. Why?

[Barbie]

Give us the. Give us the why.

[Kiki]

Just because you just want them to see you. And also creep. I mean, not saying that you're not gonna with me, but any. Any picture that you send, you want to screenshot it. It don't have to be a nude or an exclusive because they can figure out your location. They can lie.

[Barbie]

God told me that, like, I can see your location. I was like, these phones super.

[Kiki]

Yeah, they can see your location.

[Barbie]

And I seen him a old nude. And he said, baby, this say from 2020.

[Kiki]

If you would have screenshotted it like five and got that. Got three rolls over here now, baby,

[Barbie]

I did not send a picture.

[Kiki]

No, honey, we recycle news around here.

[Barbie]

Okay, go ahead, go ahead. Seen. Heard the girl in the background, right? I went, got my hair done, booked my flights. First time ever being on the plane. Flew by myself, flew down to Miami. Caught him like, you know where yet? I'm down here. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Found out. He was like, I end up. I'm like, I'm drunk. I gotta come to your room. So he told me where his room was. Y'.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All.

[Kiki]

Y' all had a threesome?

[Barbie]

No, no.

[Kiki]

Beat her up. You know that up. I'm just guessing.

[Barbie]

Listen, I walked. I walked mouths by myself to go to this room. Got there trying to names that I think.

[Kiki]

Why did you have to walk?

[Barbie]

I don't. I was walking. I was already out. I was out in Miami. I was lit. I was drunk. I started just walking.

[Kiki]

It wasn't that far. Faith Evans.

[Barbie]

I was listening, devastated. So walked. Walked to the room, got. Tried to check in, like, get a key.

[Kiki]

She said, it's housekeeping.

[Barbie]

Tried to get a key.

[Kiki]

I'm sorry, I can't see you through the door. Sorry, Barb.

[Barbie]

Okay. Tried to get a key under all the names and none of the names was working. I tried the girl's name, who I thought that he was talking to. I'm like, yeah, I'm so drunk. She just. She's not letting me in the room. She told me I could come. This is her name. Blah, blah, blah, blah. He gave me a key, opened the door. He was in the bedroom by himself. And I just got the. Tore his ass up, fell asleep. Woke up in the morning, she was coming in the room.

[Kiki]

You fell asleep in the room?

[Barbie]

I was drunk. I beat his ass up, fell asleep.

[Kiki]

And where was. She came in the room. And what happened?

[Barbie]

She came in the room and we had a little meeting.

[Kiki]

I just had a meeting like that. Not that we know yeah.

[Barbie]

She was like, he said he wasn't with you. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, but he was literally just, you know, eating my lemon drop before he came down here. We did it, beat him up again. And then I left, and they went jet skiing.

[Kiki]

I ain't stopped no show. They said, sayonara. You ain't stopped. You went home?

[Barbie]

No, I stayed in Miami. I had a good time. And when we got back home, he hit you with the. We was back together.

[Kiki]

Oh, see? It was so stupid, y'.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All.

[Kiki]

I had no. Being a girl is so embarrassing.

[Barbie]

I was young. I had no self work. We didn't get right back together. But it wasn't long enough for the that he did. Yep. They end up having.

[Kiki]

Look, y'.

[Tony Ayo]

All.

[Barbie]

They end up having a kid together.

[Mike]

Whoa.

[Kiki]

Okay. Well, I don't want any of that mojo. However, I will say I was rolling on a floor like that like I was possessed. At one point, I, I, I think that I was postpartum. And it was like, the first time that I ever truthfully thought, like, got cheated on. But come to find out, I didn't even get cheated on. Like, my baby daddy was smoking with a and I seen it in his phone, and the was like, y', all, I'm so dramatic. But I left my baby daddy after this.

[Barbie]

Thank you. That's good. Queen, stand up, girl.

[Kiki]

The was texting him, like, yeah, I felt your finger when you passed the blunt. I was acting like that. Girl, the video over that.

[Barbie]

Well, I would rather do that than drive to Miami. I mean, fly to Miami. I would too.

[Kiki]

Because my crash, I was free and I was postpartum.

[Barbie]

Oh, girl. I had a time in my universe.

[Kiki]

I wasn't even crashing out over a. I was crashing out. Cause my nigga was leaving.

[Barbie]

He just didn't want to be with you no more.

[Kiki]

No, he still wanted to be with me. He was just leaving the house. I said, you can't go to the club Trap. What? I love hearts, bro. I got so humbled after that. I left my baby daddy over him smoking with a. And then the next I got with actually cheated on me.

[Barbie]

And then the heart stops.

[Kiki]

No, no, honestly, when you heard what it's like to actually feel getting cheated, bro.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

You.

[Kiki]

It's like, so baby, I've always known what that means. It's very humbling.

[Barbie]

I knew exactly what it was.

[Kiki]

I got my food at a big age. Like, literally, I was like, 25. My new daddy never cheated on me the first time.

[Barbie]

I spent the rest of Miami up Under. In the Bentley. Up under the star.

[Kiki]

We had a good time under the cars.

[Barbie]

Listen, he made.

[Kiki]

We need a Miami trip, y'.

[Barbie]

All. We definitely need a Miami trip. Let's do it. No heartbreak first.

[Kiki]

Don't forget.

[Barbie]

Oh, yeah.

[Kiki]

Okay. Yeah.

[Barbie]

This.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

This.

[Barbie]

This show is not a real place. This is. This is not a real place. But we just like it to keep it real with y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Barbie]

Whatever.

[Kiki]

So if.

[Barbie]

If y' all laugh with us or laugh at. As long as y'. All. Okay.

[Kiki]

I swear, it's 520 somewhere, G. And I don't care.

[Barbie]

My. My best friend said, why would y' all do that commercial with you having those braids to the back like that? She's like, every time 520 stops and it's that commercial.

[Kiki]

You be on there.

[Barbie]

She said, you're so ugly. You look like starita all the way. I was like, damn.

[Kiki]

Not too much. Not too much.

[Barbie]

Why would it.

[Kiki]

Mike?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Would I.

[Kiki]

Can you redo it? For real?

[Barbie]

Can we do the commercial?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Neither.

[Kiki]

I don't like my hearing it either. Damn.

[Barbie]

Okay, perfect.

[Kiki]

Hold on. Wait. I didn't have time to prepare today, y'. All. I got nursed in, like, 30 minutes today.

[Barbie]

Look amazing.

[Kiki]

You look pretty. You look like a mamacita. I always look like a torta.

[Barbie]

Okay?

[Kiki]

You trying to call me a torta? No, I love tortas. They're so good. Everything on it.

[Barbie]

What's a torta? Like a.

[Kiki]

It's like a Mexican burger. Try it.

[Barbie]

A Mexican burger?

[Kiki]

Yes. That's not what I'm talking about.

[Barbie]

What's the name of crispy things? It's like a. I thought that was a torch.

[Kiki]

A gordita.

[Barbie]

No, I love empanadas. It's a crunchy thing, not Taco Bell.

[Mike]

Eat that.

[Barbie]

It's a crunchy thing, and it has stuff on top of it. I've always thought that was a torta. No, a torta is a burger.

[Kiki]

It's a tostada.

[Barbie]

Tostada. Tostada.

[Kiki]

Did you say that?

[Barbie]

I thought it was.

[Kiki]

Oh, it's a toast. I thought you said tostada. Never mind.

[Barbie]

All right.

[Kiki]

Boom.

[Barbie]

Let's. Let's get the hell out of here already.

[Kiki]

Oh, my gosh. I had so much fun. We only talking about. That's all we ever talk about. It's okay, because this one piece is really my crotch.

[Barbie]

And it's time to go.

[Kiki]

Last week, I had to pee. This week, the one pieces, one piecing. But go ahead. Go ahead.

[Barbie]

I'm.

[Kiki]

I'm gonna thug it however long it's over.

[Barbie]

We about to move. About to wrap it up now because we want to preserve Yokuchi. Okay.

[Kiki]

Yeah. Type.

[Barbie]

All right.

[Kiki]

Did y' all not see the. The Fever game yesterday, though? Y' all didn't.

[Barbie]

I. Did

[Kiki]

you have an opinion about the foul? Dijona on Sophie.

[Barbie]

So when I seen it, what did you think? When I seen it, I'm like.

[Kiki]

I don't want to say when I seen.

[Barbie]

I'm honestly, like, she just was balling. I think that she really was to trying doing what they're supposed to do, but to get your mouth busted and to get. Get taken down to the green with. To the ground was excessive. I think she should have been ejected like she was. I think that the WNBA is literally just. They're balling hard. They got a point to prove, and they balling, like, out there.

[Kiki]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

So what did you think?

[Kiki]

I thought it was a hard foul. And then, like, with my kids, it's like. I think it was an intentional foul. Did I think. Do I think she meant to, like, go for the neck and, like, bust her lip or whatever she did? Not necessarily, but I think it was an intentional hard fact. And I just feel like at that point, you gotta take whatever comes with it. Like, if. Okay, they wrote it a flagrant, too. That's just what it is. Like, you. You know, you. That's a hard foul. You just intentionally did a hard foul. And so, yeah, you just got. At that point, you put in their hands, and you gotta take what comes with it.

[Barbie]

I've never played sports, so I thought they just looked like she was just literally doing her job.

[Kiki]

But, yeah, I mean, it was a lot. And maybe it wasn't intentional, but I think watching it back, you can clearly see that it was a lot. And I don't know, Mike, we can maybe cut this or not, but this is my honest opinion. I feel like. Can we not. I feel like when we make. When we make every little thing about race, it takes away from the real struggle. And it's like, that was an actual. Like, maybe it wasn't intentional, but it was. If you look at it, it was actually, like, crazy to watch. So it's just like, can we not make it about race? Because there are actual struggles that we, like, face as a race. And I feel like when you throw that out there, it, like, waters down what is actually going on? Because that you getting inject. Ejected was not actually what's going on. It wasn't an actual race issue, in my opinion.

[Barbie]

Yeah, it was a sport.

[Kiki]

And that's the thing. The people who are not actual. A lot of new fans to the space to the W. And a lot of like Caitlin Clark fans or whatever, like, they don't understand the real competitiveness of it. And it's just like. It's just sports, y' all making it deeper than what I want us to watch or even like maybe I might not just like this and I might have just did a hard foul because I. I don't care if I do a hard foul or not.

[Barbie]

So take it. Take it and go get out the game. And there we go.

[Kiki]

Period.

[Barbie]

All right, make sure y' all tune in next week date is 5:20 somewhere else the quiet.

[Kiki]

No, wait. What? That's it?

[Barbie]

What you want to say?

[Kiki]

What we gotta say.

[Barbie]

Mac is tired of us today. Why are you so irritable over there? Do not take sex away from mouth. Because. What's going on?

[Kiki]

Philosophical because you.

[Barbie]

I literally.

[Kiki]

Because I watched that back and I was so shitty they was calling me. But it's like y', all, we have to talk so fast on here and sometimes we up words. But I didn't the sounds up. Well, I kind of did, but if you sound it out, it kind of sounds like what else? I just didn't say it right. It's philosophical. But what'd you say? Maybe I said Philip philosophical.

[Barbie]

You said syphilis. All right. Make sure you don't be. Make sure you don't be on for

[Kiki]

bringing that up

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

next week.

[Barbie]

We. We love y'. All.

[Kiki]

Be grateful.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Some people use ChatGPT to answer questions. Others use it to get real work done. With ChatGPT work, you bring the goal plus real inputs like briefs, notes, files, feedback, data and project plans. It can help turn them into an analysis, tracker, deck outline, prototype or workflow. You can review and keep shaping. You stay in control, giving direction and choosing the final output. Put ChatGPT to work on your most ambitious ideas and projects. Get [e-mail] by selecting work mode available on plus and Pro plans.

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[Kiki]

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[Kiki]

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[Tony Ayo]

This is Tony Ayo from the Real Report with Tony Ayo and Uncle Murder. You ever notice how everything keeps going up, Rent streaming, even extra Sosa at your favorite burrito spot. But with Boost Mobile, you don't have to play the Willis Go up soon game. Boost Mobile offers an unlimited talk, text and data plan at a price that'll never go up. It's the same price you'll pay for Life. Switch now for unlimited wireless at a price that'll never go up. Only at boost mobile. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.

[Barbie]

Ok, Laundry stinks.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Literally.

[Barbie]

I mean, you could just keep buying new underwear. Not that I've ever done that. Or maybe sort your clothes into piles based on how re wearable or filthy they are. Or just use Arm and Hammer Deep Clean. It's made for real life stinks and stains. So even if you don't do laundry the the quote right way Deep Clean will knock it out. I mean it is from the number one liquid detergent brand that tackles more loads than any other. Come clean with Arm and Hammer Deep Clean number one claim based on total wash loads sold. This is an Iheart podcast. Guaranteed human.