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Barbie
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Carlos Miller
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Ashley Akinetti
Akinetti from the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast. Did you know that over 70% of new parents are combo feeding? They're using both breast milk and formula to feed their baby. Whether you're exclusively formula feeding, combo feeding or just want to back up in the pantry, Bobby is the formula that I trust to deliver safe, complete nutrition to my baby's bottle. Both of my children use bobi. We loved it so much, had the best experience with this brand. They're incredible the customer service, what they stand for. Bobby's organic European style formulas are crafted with clinically backed ingredients and designed for easy digestion just like breast milk. I did a lot of research before formula feeding and I loved what I saw from Bobby. Every single batch goes through 2000 plus safety and quality checks before leaving their owned US manufacturing facility. If you want to feed with confidence too, head to hi bobby.com that is high h I b o b b I e dot com to find your baby's new favorite formula.
Tamara Judge
This is Tamara Judge from two T's in a Pod with Teddy Mellicamp and Tamara Judge. Forget everything you know about hair color. The mess, the smell, the damage. Madison Reed is female, founded female Led and has completely transformed the hair color experience. Their award winning formulas are crafted in Italy with ingredients that care for your hair delivering rich multi dimensional results and you choose how you color. Get salon gorgeous results at home or let a pro do it for you at a Madison Reed hair color bar. The future of hair color is here at Madison Reed. Try it today and get 20% off your first order or service. Go to madison-reid.com teapod that's T E a P O D and use code TEAPOD20. T E A P O D20.
Barbie
Welcome back to It Is Five Twenty Somewhere. I am your girl Barbie. And we gonna run it like 5:20 does. So I'm gonna introduce my co host first before we get to our very special guest. To my left, I got Nurse Trop. Ms. Nigga, how you feeling, Mama?
Nurse Trop
Ms. Nigga feeling feeling good.
Barbie
You feeling good? You ain't been nigga ing around, have you?
Nurse Trop
Nope, not really.
Barbie
You in your soft life?
Nurse Trop
I'm in my soft life.
Barbie
I be seeing new flowers, girl.
Carlos Miller
Yes.
Barbie
And to you, my left, you my right. And to my right, I got the beauty in the bus down. Kiki, how you feeling, baby?
Nurse Trop
I'm good. I'm great.
Barbie
You good to be happy to be here?
Nurse Trop
I'm overly happy.
Barbie
You looking like a southern belt, too.
Nurse Trop
It's glowing. Are you for real? Y' all don't gas me. It's too early and I'm trying to wait on this drink to get it right.
Barbie
We'll get into that later. But y' all ready for my intro?
Nurse Trop
Let's do it. Do it. Be my father.
Barbie
Okay, so this episode is going to be one of them once because our guest today is all about the chaos. Before you can even watch his show on YouTube, a warning label pops up that is gets really, really wild on that show. He is a comedian, entrepreneur, media mogul, and he has built one of the largest independent comedy platforms. And you may know him from 85 south, wilding out, all of that good. Welcome to the couch. Carlos Miller.
Carlos Miller
Thank y' all for having me over here.
Barbie
We are so happy that you are here.
Carlos Miller
Yeah, I'm glad to be here.
Barbie
And you know what? We are so happy for you to be here because you probably one of our first guests that's like, really with the shits?
Carlos Miller
Absolutely with the shits.
Barbie
Let's get into it. Nothing's off limits.
Carlos Miller
No, we can talk about what?
Barbie
We're gonna have some fun.
Nurse Trop
Oh, okay.
Barbie
Well, he didn't want to drink with us today, but this drink is inspired by you.
Carlos Miller
And I mean, today I don't drink.
Barbie
Oh, you don't drink?
Carlos Miller
No.
Barbie
You just smoke? No, we don't smoke.
Carlos Miller
What?
Barbie
Well, today we are drinking the wick, Kiki. Okay, so, you know, we got.
Nurse Trop
I guess so.
Barbie
It ain't. It ain't. It got a little bit of all of us in it, you know? So the wick is for me, cuz I'm hood.
Carlos Miller
Okay.
Barbie
The Kiki W. Kiki, my beautiful girl over there. And then it's trop. What's A tropical juice. We got some mango in there, some nectar, some strawberry. Her truck.
Carlos Miller
That sound like some real pimp.
Barbie
It's real pimp. And you know y' all got the section 8 hurricane, so I tried to put in, like, a little capri pouch for y', all, but.
Carlos Miller
Okay.
Nurse Trop
It should feel right at home.
Barbie
Yeah. A little IV bag. That's. I used to sling these.
Carlos Miller
I believe it.
Barbie
I did. I went to one hood one time, so. Made $1,000 selling these things. I can't do it no more because people recognize my face. I might get in trouble by the $18 now. Yeah. Hopefully three, five. But before we get started, our guest love when we do fit check. Fit check. Get your wet. So let's go ahead and get that started. Come on, Kiki.
Nurse Trop
Y' all always make me go first.
Barbie
Let's go. Looking like a real Southern belle. You from Mississippi, ain't you? Absolutely, absolutely. Oh, double cheeked up in a sundress. Please do not wear this to church. The deacon will lose his job. Up next, tropaholics. Mixtapes. You bastard.
Nurse Trop
Okay. Black on black.
Barbie
You look like a GTA prostitute.
Nurse Trop
She do.
Barbie
Yes.
Nurse Trop
Damn. We didn't do her dance today, y'. All.
Barbie
We don't got the time for it today. Watching local cable. They was mad at us that we didn't do fit check last time, so sorry.
Nurse Trop
I know we didn't do it the last. We don't be doing that on purpose, y'.
Barbie
All.
Nurse Trop
We just forgetting.
Barbie
Come on. I'm tired of being. I was tired, y'.
Nurse Trop
All. I am not.
Barbie
So I just threw on the first dress that I seen.
Carlos Miller
Oh, y' all looking good.
Barbie
We looking like you.
Nurse Trop
You going too.
Carlos Miller
I ain't doing. I ain't really do today.
Barbie
Okay. Let.
Carlos Miller
She gets up later on from your mama house type shit.
Barbie
Tell your mama to love motherfucking kids.
Carlos Miller
Yeah, it's our season right now. School about to start back.
Nurse Trop
Oh, yeah, it is.
Barbie
In school yet, But I can't wait. I'm ready.
Nurse Trop
Get.
Barbie
Get the hell out the house and don't come back until 6 o'.
Carlos Miller
Clock.
Barbie
No, I'm just playing. But let me ask you, do you watch female podcast?
Carlos Miller
Yes.
Barbie
So what? As a female podcast, what are some things that we could do that will keep the males engaged?
Carlos Miller
You guys stop bashing me in so much. Not you personally.
Barbie
We do.
Carlos Miller
But in general, I think you spent a lot of time focused on the motherfuckers that we don't like. So that way it feels like, you know, like the gender wars type situation. I think you got to kind of balance it out with the shit that you don't like, and then, you know, give some niggas some game on how to approach women like y'.
Barbie
All.
Carlos Miller
You get what I'm saying?
Nurse Trop
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Carlos Miller
It's cool to share your experiences. But don't all of them don't have to be negative, though, right?
Nurse Trop
But what if they all are negative?
Carlos Miller
Maybe we should start looking within.
Barbie
Well, we. Are. We trying to heal a day at a time.
Nurse Trop
We're trying.
Barbie
Yeah. And like, with y' all show, do y'. All. Do you feel like you have a niche for your show?
Carlos Miller
Yeah, absolutely.
Barbie
What's that?
Carlos Miller
Our core audience is real, who's still trying to strive and get a little bit more, you know, who. Who understand that it is a lot of negativity out there about us, but we still got to push and we still got to be those guys. So, you know, it's like a rehab center for niggas.
Barbie
A rehab center.
Carlos Miller
Yeah. It's like. Yeah, we were trying to build our brothers back up to just keep facing the world. Everybody going through some shit.
Barbie
Everybody going through something.
Nurse Trop
Amen.
Carlos Miller
You know, somewhere we can all kind of relate.
Barbie
And y' all roast a lot too. Is that something that, like, can be taught or that just gotta come from trauma? Childhood trauma?
Carlos Miller
I don't know. I think you could probably learn if you wanted to.
Barbie
Cause I don't know how to roast, and I really wanna learn how to roast.
Nurse Trop
She do. She don't give herself enough credit. She be roasting.
Carlos Miller
I believe it's. Cause you combative and you just used to throwing hands. You don't do a lot of talking.
Barbie
Damn. Okay. How you know that?
Carlos Miller
I can tell.
Barbie
Is it the locks?
Carlos Miller
It's the glasses, mostly.
Barbie
I thought they make me look innocent.
Carlos Miller
They don't. Because that's the misconception people be. That's old. Like, when you see people with glasses, you think like, oh, they're square. And now them the real killers. Because everybody know the real freaks wear the glasses.
Nurse Trop
They be saying that in the comments too.
Carlos Miller
That's. That's facts.
Barbie
I fold these up so fast and throw them behind the bed.
Carlos Miller
Exactly.
Nurse Trop
Get what?
Barbie
Get busy.
Nurse Trop
Oh, okay.
Barbie
Cuz the contact, you know, once your eyes get to watering and stuff, they go, now can you pull up the.
Amy Ehrett
The.
Barbie
The out. The thing I sent you, It's a video. We were talking about women and men in this gender wars. But this is a humiliation ritual that women have went through on TV shows and movies, and I wanted to ask the girls and get your opinion on it. Of which humiliation ritual, if you had to go through it, would you go with? So Malka's going to pull that up for us. Wait a minute.
Carlos Miller
I don't want to go through no humiliation.
Barbie
Nobody wants to, but, I mean, it is something that we do on some kinky. No, no, no. Hold on. Let me send it personally to Milk. So it was Gray's Anatomy on there. It was Sheila. It was love and basketball, and it was Melody off of Mexico.
Nurse Trop
Sheila as in Trina lied?
Barbie
Yeah, that Sheila, Yes. So that shout out to that man we did. The guys were asking. I sent. I texted to you, Milk. But the guys were asking the girls if they would be embarrassed from their man being in the club. Cutting up rug.
Carlos Miller
Like, dancing hard as hell.
Barbie
Dancing hard as hell.
Carlos Miller
Sweating.
Barbie
So you from Mississippi? I told them guys in other states dance. Like, do you dance?
Carlos Miller
Sometimes I dance to entertain ladies. I don't just be out there for my leisure. Like if I'm at the club and I run into a little something, she wanna. You know what I'm saying? But I ain't just out there hitting no TikTok dances. You feel me?
Barbie
Okay, so here we go. So swipe over Milk. So it's the. It's love and basketball. Would you rather go through the love and basketball humiliation ritual?
Nurse Trop
Oh, he definitely. He. Yeah, he ate her up. I wouldn't even. It was cute at the end, though. No, why would he. Why would he. Never mind.
Barbie
Grow. I've got his anatomy. He married. She begging him to pick her over the wife.
Nurse Trop
Oh, hell no.
Barbie
Med school. Y' all know what happened with med school?
Nurse Trop
He had a baby on her.
Barbie
Yeah, she couldn't handle it. He said, I'm always choose that baby in my family over you. Ooh, fuck your family, bitch. Family.
Nurse Trop
Out of the family to family. Fuck my husband.
Barbie
And then the last one. The last one is Sheila.
Nurse Trop
Ooh, this the worst one.
Barbie
So which ones are those humiliation rituals? Would y' all choose?
Nurse Trop
I'm sorry. This is so funny. Oh, damn. Childish. Y' all know she said Trina said
Carlos Miller
you would like it.
Nurse Trop
He said Trina lied.
Barbie
So which one y' all choosing?
Nurse Trop
The first one. Love and basketball was cute. That was romantic.
Barbie
He was a horn.
Nurse Trop
He moved on her head.
Carlos Miller
She actually had a chance, though.
Nurse Trop
Yeah, he actually liked her. Like he loved her.
Carlos Miller
No, I'm saying she couldn't.
Nurse Trop
They ended up together.
Carlos Miller
She was killed. Yeah. At least it was fair and balanced. He could have at least had a shot. But all the rest of them look terrible.
Barbie
It goes back to you saying that I put my hands on people. If he would have got to balling on me like that. From my heart. Let's just fight. Let's just. Let's just get to it.
Nurse Trop
But they're probably like the only couple on these host lives that actually had like genuine love. Low key.
Barbie
I don't know much about. That's all I'm saying.
Nurse Trop
Give me that one. Everybody loves loving basketball.
Barbie
Yeah, they're all hypothetical.
Carlos Miller
Have the nigga ever like embarrass y'?
Ashley Akinetti
All?
Carlos Miller
Y' all ever had to go through like a real. Some real life shit where you was like. You was the dumb ass in the
Barbie
situation all the time. And all the time the other day.
Carlos Miller
What was yours? We.
Barbie
We've done enough sharing. We a little overshared.
Nurse Trop
He don't know.
Barbie
I have been embarrassed like Sheila though. I put on some once that don't like you. She don't like you no more. I put on some lingerie, was running around the house looking like a ham hock. I had like a little netted set on.
Nurse Trop
You didn't like it. He's a square. He was deserve you anyway.
Barbie
Talk about me. But he just didn't give like. So that's why I thought, dude, Nick is not like laundry lingerie anymore.
Carlos Miller
Like nudity. Just get naked. See, but naked. Put your family reunion T shirt on. Yeah. And that's it. You don't really need no whole lot of them little shorts that fold up one time on the waist. Put them on.
Barbie
Okay.
Nurse Trop
So half the booty, abs, cheeks out. She be knowing hanging Southern bell.
Carlos Miller
Absolutely.
Nurse Trop
That ain't that bad though. Barb, you know, me and Chop, we had babies on us and shits. Ain't nobody have a baby on me.
Barbie
On me. They have me too.
Nurse Trop
Well, he swore it was during the breakup that he impregnated the girl. So.
Barbie
They always say it was during the breakup.
Nurse Trop
That's what I'm saying. You cannot leave your wandering for too long. You gotta.
Barbie
Them niggas wonder when you're there.
Carlos Miller
He was sad. His depression.
Nurse Trop
The baby gonna cheer him up?
Carlos Miller
No, I'm just saying the lady did who started.
Nurse Trop
But you should. You should at least avoid that. Like you should go to all through, take all proper measures to not get someone pregnant. That's extreme.
Carlos Miller
But he'll tell you when you operating out of hurt, it's kind of.
Nurse Trop
Oh, my God.
Carlos Miller
It's a little different when your heart broke, vulnerable. Your mind ain't working like it. Like it need to yeah, he probably
Nurse Trop
missed his grandma or something.
Carlos Miller
He did.
Nurse Trop
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
Every man go through that. We missing granny sometimes.
Barbie
Yeah. And like make it a missing people. Have you ever lost your favorite eater?
Carlos Miller
Yeah, absolutely.
Nurse Trop
Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.
Carlos Miller
Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com upfront payment of
Barbie
$45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent to taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy see terms.
Ashley Akinetti
This is Ashley Akinetti from the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast. Did you know that over 70% of new parents are combo feeding? They're using both breast milk and formula to feed their baby. Whether you're exclusively formula feeding, combo feeding, or just want to back up in the pantry, Bobby is the formula that I trust to deliver safe, complete nutrition to my baby's bottle. Both of my children use Bobby. We loved it so much, had the best experience with this brand. They're incredible. If you want to feed with confidence too, head to hi bobby.com that is high h I b o b b I e dot com to find your baby's new favorite formula.
Tamara Judge
This is Tamara Judge from two T's in a Pod with Teddi Mellicamp and Tamara Judge. Forget everything you know about hair color. The mess, the smell, the damage. Madison Reed is female, founded Female led and has completely transformed the hair color experience. Their award winning formulas are crafted in Italy with ingredients that care for your hair, delivering rich multi dimensional results. And you choose how you color. Get salon gorgeous results at home or let a pro do it for for you at a Madison Reed hair color bar. The future of hair color is here at Madison Reed. Try it today and get 20% off your first order or service. Go to madison-reid.com teapod that's T E a P O D and use code TEAPOD20T E A P O D20.
Amy Ehrett
When Kohler, the global design leader in luxurious kitchen and bath products came to me and said martha, we need an ambassador for our timeless, elegant, durable cast iron products. I said I'm in. Now let me see the factory. Weeks later I was suited up in coveralls and work boots, walking through their Kohler, Wisconsin cast iron foundry. I stood next to the molten iron furnace, saw the hand applying enamel, and touched the gorgeous finished products waiting to be sent out into the world. Since 1883, Kohler cast iron products have been forged and finished by the incredible craftspeople right in Kohler, Wisconsin. I'll tell you, I gained a newfound respect and appreciation for Kohler's cast iron craftsmanship. So now I'm lending my discerning staff of approval to my most beloved Kohler cast iron products for their durability, beauty and timelessness. Shop my Kohler Cast Iron favorites curated on Kohler.com bring the warmth, character and enduring style of these timeless products into your kitchens and bathrooms. As the Kohler cast iron ambassador, I say long live cast iron.
Nurse Trop
What's worse?
Carlos Miller
That's the. Ain't nothing topping that.
Barbie
Shut up.
Carlos Miller
Or when you have a freak, like a certified freak that you can hear whenever. And then you notice like, she ain't hit me back like she used to or she ain't answering this quick. And then you find out she got a boyfriend. Oh, that's. That'll fuck your whole little sum up.
Barbie
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
Cause like, bro, why would you be selfish like that and. And cover?
Nurse Trop
Cause you was. You was cheating on your bitch with her. She don't cheat on her nigga with you.
Carlos Miller
Oh, man, we don't cheat.
Barbie
We get in a relationship and be committed. But if you want to cheat on your girlfriend, that's between you and her.
Carlos Miller
That's why a lot of dudes don't. Don't do relationships.
Barbie
Why?
Carlos Miller
It's the trauma of somebody else girlfriend. Like, bro, we seen how not saying all of them, but sometimes you'll start getting like, it's fucked up.
Nurse Trop
So what's worse? Losing your best eater be for real or the realest bitch you ever had?
Carlos Miller
Your best eater.
Barbie
I'm with you. I'm with you.
Nurse Trop
Y' all ain't shit.
Carlos Miller
We ain't trying to be either.
Nurse Trop
Oh, my God. I would have never thought. Wow. We really don't understand. We try.
Tamara Judge
We.
Nurse Trop
We bringing up the wrong channel and that's what we need to do.
Carlos Miller
Actually, I bark up both y' all be wanting us to like, focus on the. That y' all give a. About like the education smart. You a good person. All that matters. But do you understand a fat ass is the focal point. It's like you gotta add that around the fact. Cause men, we like. We like specifically like. Like my boy right here. If he like women with ass, that's all he like.
Barbie
He's pointing out he don't give a
Carlos Miller
fuck about none of that. Others like, you can't. You can't mind. Fuck him and give him a smart ass girl with a bunch of degrees. If he just like ass, he just gonna be like, that's cool. But I like ass. My man right here, he might like titties. You can give him the best chick in the world, but if the titties ain't right, he not gonna be happy.
Nurse Trop
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
And then some dudes, they like all that other shit. Like, they be focused on that. They don't care about the physicals and the, you know, the mental and all that. They just be focused on what they be focus. That's why men list of shit that they want in a woman be way shorter than the that a woman want in a man.
Barbie
I had a man compare me and his favorite eater. Like, in sports terms. He said, now I may. Y' all gotta tell me. He said, she was Michael Jordan. I was Scottie Pippen. Did I get that right?
Carlos Miller
Oh, my God.
Barbie
What was better?
Carlos Miller
He shouldn't have never said.
Nurse Trop
Did y' all do it together?
Barbie
No, we didn't do it together. So me, I like to. I like to study film.
Nurse Trop
So, like, damn, if you got me fucked up.
Barbie
Nah, that just made me. I need to get back in. I need to train a little bit.
Nurse Trop
He motivated you.
Carlos Miller
I don't know how he meant that, but Scotty Pittman was naturally gifted with all the abilities he was.
Ashley Akinetti
He.
Barbie
You.
Carlos Miller
He might have been giving you the compliment, really, depending on what context he spoke that in.
Barbie
But the girl, her mouth was this big, so I was like, she probably could do some shit.
Carlos Miller
He was the.
Nurse Trop
She was the star player.
Barbie
She was the star player. So whatever way it was. But I do like to study film, like with the guys that I'm dating. Like, if you have old videos, I want to see them.
Carlos Miller
Oh, that sounds.
Barbie
And I don't ever bring it up, but I like to see it like what was really going on. Let me hear it. Let me see what I need to do. Because why go out and watch porn? This ain't the same situation.
Nurse Trop
Everybody's different.
Barbie
What he like, what he does? Study and film you different a little bit.
Carlos Miller
You definitely different.
Nurse Trop
So you're not studying no film?
Carlos Miller
No, no, listen, let's go ahead and freestyle and create something.
Nurse Trop
Just redirect me, bro. Just tell me what to do. Tell me what you like and then get creative.
Barbie
Definitely talk me through it. But I just. I don't know. I like.
Nurse Trop
I just feel like everything's not always in our control. As women, maybe we can't control who's ass girl who got bigger titties if they a titty. But you can always control your level of freedom. How you get down, you know? So you might as well do it with fl. Really well.
Barbie
And he told me that titties are not saggy until the nipples are pointing down. Is that true? Because I got some long titties, I
Carlos Miller
don't think Nothing wrong.
Nurse Trop
I love me a droopy titty.
Carlos Miller
Everybody do.
Barbie
Do they?
Nurse Trop
See, I told y'. All, didn't
Carlos Miller
I told you that long sleeve today?
Nurse Trop
Hell yeah.
Barbie
You all in the face.
Carlos Miller
Yeah. Cause you don't gotta lean up. She could just droop them over your face.
Barbie
That's the motion right there. That's why he.
Nurse Trop
Look at your titty bounce.
Barbie
I can't today.
Nurse Trop
The title looks like, oh, you got a bra on.
Barbie
I do. No panties but a bra. Cause bitch names gonna be Carlos who don't wear bras. I have to wear bras. And my titties would be down here on the floor.
Carlos Miller
You lying.
Nurse Trop
He said that. We said it.
Barbie
Not that. Not that. I did see you eating a piece of pizza. Oh, you studying film? I was.
Carlos Miller
You had. Boy, I ain't know where that was going.
Barbie
I seen you eating a piece of pizza in the way that you was chasing. And I said that's how you be chasing the taggy titties. You gotta get them.
Carlos Miller
Men really prefer natural anyway. Y'. All. Y' all don't give us enough credit for that.
Nurse Trop
Natural. What?
Carlos Miller
Everything.
Barbie
Nah. If you would have seen my ass before this, you would have looked right on past me. My ass was like, with some hips.
Nurse Trop
Hang it up flat screen.
Barbie
I had to do a little bit extra.
Carlos Miller
Okay. Do your thing. Yeah.
Barbie
So it makes sense.
Carlos Miller
I'm just saying, with or without it. Because you were still getting without it, Right?
Barbie
I was.
Carlos Miller
Exactly. Don't never discount them.
Barbie
I actually did have more hoes before I got my BBL done.
Nurse Trop
What's that about?
Barbie
Hell if I know.
Nurse Trop
He just said y' all cause they like natural.
Barbie
Because with or without the bbl, I am who I am in the bed, so. Oh, and. And outside the bed. I'm a good person. Matters Beautiful soul. Inside and out. Each.
Nurse Trop
Yeah, yeah.
Barbie
Watching porn together. Do y' all watch porn with y' all men?
Nurse Trop
I don't have a man, But I have.
Barbie
Have you before?
Nurse Trop
Yeah, I have.
Barbie
What about you, Carlos? You watch porn with your lady?
Carlos Miller
Yeah, absolutely. That's when you learn that you don't know her like you think you do.
Barbie
What kind of porn?
Carlos Miller
That's what I'm saying. It depends on the category that she choose. And sometimes it's.
Nurse Trop
You going to judge her if she.
Carlos Miller
Absolutely not. It's just gonna make me wonder, like, when you start doing this or what make you watch this?
Nurse Trop
What I want to know what kind it was.
Carlos Miller
Gang bangs.
Barbie
Oh, that's.
Nurse Trop
Yeah, that is like, side eyeing that a little bit. I like watching each other out.
Carlos Miller
You know, it's like, when it comes to. Like that, you ain't supposed to kink shame. But you do kind of have a few questions where you would like to know. Where did you develop this? Where did you see this? And why did you pick this one specifically?
Barbie
But some people are.
Nurse Trop
They can have some freaky thoughts, but they just maybe not indulge.
Carlos Miller
Like, they would never say, I don't never want to do this. But if I was gonna watch this, I just. This is what I like.
Nurse Trop
Cause it's freaked out.
Barbie
What about swinging?
Carlos Miller
What about it?
Barbie
If you get older, you a old freaky man. You've been married or whatever. Are you gonna try swinging? Old freaky?
Nurse Trop
You saying all swingers is old? Swinging.
Barbie
Swinging, like.
Nurse Trop
Like let another man.
Carlos Miller
Like sex at the house. Yeah, y' all have wine and fruit and.
Barbie
And everybody just started going crazy.
Carlos Miller
Everybody. You know, I haven't indulged in.
Nurse Trop
Oh, it was. It sounded a little descriptive. Right? Like, it sounded so.
Carlos Miller
Oh, okay.
Barbie
Because the.
Nurse Trop
The, like, you knew exactly the play. He probably seen a movie about it.
Barbie
But the Haha dates before the.
Carlos Miller
And stuff
Nurse Trop
parties.
Carlos Miller
Okay, Diddy, we wasn't. I didn't never go to no Diddy parties. Oh, I know some people who went forgetting Diddy and we really.
Nurse Trop
Shut up.
Carlos Miller
I said I went. I just left before the fucking started.
Nurse Trop
Why you didn't want to see it?
Carlos Miller
Because I'm not. I'm not sharing. I didn't bring nothing to this.
Nurse Trop
But you could be like, babe, we not doing this. We just gonna watch these people.
Barbie
And next thing you know, somebody sliding down your shoulder. Okay, Carlos. Yeah.
Carlos Miller
Cause you chilling and then you think you just watching, and now you getting comfortable in your shoes off, and then you leaning back and next thing you know, you fucking a long titty and your bitch is tucking in somebody watching you. Right. Ms. Johnson from down the street then walked in with a fat ass.
Barbie
It just made me think of the Haha Davis situation.
Carlos Miller
That was awful.
Barbie
He said he regretted that so bad. The way that man pinned his wife to the cross.
Carlos Miller
And you Always gotta worry about shit like that. What if somebody shit out your lady right in front of you?
Barbie
Get off my man, bitch.
Nurse Trop
I wouldn't care as a.
Barbie
As a woman, like as she out freaks you and got him making noises he ain't never made before. His toes get to throwing up. West side, you gonna be okay with that?
Carlos Miller
You don't want to see that. You go get some juice and you come back and this is killing your girl. Sweat dripping off his chin and hitting her back.
Nurse Trop
But aren't you.
Carlos Miller
You can't go back from that.
Nurse Trop
Happy?
Carlos Miller
Hell no.
Nurse Trop
She's feeling good.
Barbie
That just made me tingle. Sweat dripping on the back.
Nurse Trop
So if you break up with somebody, you don't want them to be happy after you?
Carlos Miller
Absolutely not.
Barbie
Absolutely.
Carlos Miller
Yeah. You can be happy as long as you're with me. But when you ain't with me, your
Nurse Trop
happiness, you want them to be.
Carlos Miller
I hope you're in an internal, eternal state of sadness after me. I hope don't nobody add up.
Barbie
Y' all know what's been making me miserable here lately? I started back working. That shit's terrible.
Nurse Trop
Damn, nine to fives.
Barbie
What's the worst job you've ever had?
Carlos Miller
All of them.
Barbie
Every single one.
Carlos Miller
Ain't no such thing as a good job.
Barbie
You talked about women in manly job fields.
Carlos Miller
That is so funny. Did you see the comments?
Barbie
I did.
Carlos Miller
They went the in. That's all. Kind of truck drivers and welders and in the union. And you, Carlos. I love my job. I never said nothing was wrong with it. I just said they. That's funny as hell to me.
Barbie
So what's the red flag with the women with the manly jobs?
Carlos Miller
That ain't where it's gonna stop. They gonna talk to you crazy and treat you up.
Nurse Trop
They're gonna bought you a room.
Carlos Miller
Absolutely.
Barbie
I was still a soft little baby. I used to drive cargo vans state to state. I drove to Mexico for real.
Carlos Miller
Ain't nothing wrong with a woman having a grown man ass job. Just know that they tough as hell.
Barbie
Yeah, that's the thing. Men jobs are hard and they're dangerous. When I was driving state to state, I literally was. I had a knife, a gun, if it was applicable. Applicable in the state. I had a toy and. Yeah, a toy, like a rod, a rose or something to keep it cold
Carlos Miller
if he was in danger and you grabbed the wrong.
Barbie
Turn the rose on, hopefully it stinking.
Carlos Miller
Then you be like, oh, what the
Barbie
fuck is this stuff? You know, you gotta clean those ladies, clean those roses, clean those toys.
Nurse Trop
If they're not cleaning it after every use. That's a lip.
Barbie
You know, sometimes you might listen, talk your shit come so hard and then you just kind of like let the rose fall off the.
Nurse Trop
No, I mean we can't find it. Yeah, you gotta put that away immediately.
Barbie
My son, he did find one. He was like, mommy, what is this? Give me my shit. He puts, I had some of those panties that have the back out. He put it around his neck.
Nurse Trop
I was like, lord Jesus Christ, who
Barbie
made me a mother?
Carlos Miller
I do that type of shit sometimes.
Barbie
Do what? Put the panties around your neck.
Carlos Miller
Yeah, I put just like as a trophy souvenir.
Nurse Trop
Love that.
Barbie
I came out the bathroom one time, this man had my thong on his face looking like Rey Mysterio. I said, oh, he loved me.
Carlos Miller
He loved the out of you. That's the ass.
Barbie
And then I also think that women working though, like, it's just trash. Anyways, I just did an event last night and now my hand.
Ashley Akinetti
This is Ashley Akineti from the Ben and Ashley I almost famous podcast. Did you know that over 70 of new parents are combo feeding? They're using both breast milk and formula to feed their baby. Whether you're exclusively formula feeding, combo feeding or just want to back up in the pantry, Bobby is the formula that I trust to deliver safe, complete nutrition to my baby's bottle. Both of my children use Bobby. We loved it so much, had the best experience with this brand. They're incredible. The customer service, what they stand for. Bobby's organic European style formulas are crafted with clinically backed ingredients and designed for easy digestion just like breast milk. I did a lot of research before formula feeding and I loved what I saw from Bobby. Every single batch goes through 2000 plus safety and quality checks before leaving their owned US manufacturing facility. If you want to feed with confidence to head to hi bobby.com that is hi h I b o b b I e dot com to find your baby's new favorite formula.
Tamara Judge
This is Tamara Judge from two T's in a Pod with Teddi Mellicamp and Tamara Judge. Forget everything you know about hair color. The mess, the smell, the damage. Madison Reed is female, founded, female led and has completely transformed the hair color experience. Their award winning formulas are crafted in Italy with ingredients that care for your hair delivering rich multi dimensional results. Results and you choose how you color. Get salon gorgeous results at home or let a pro do it for you at a Madison Reed hair color bar. The future of hair color is here at Madison Reed. Try it today and get 20 off your first order. Or service, go to madison-reed.com forward/teapod. That's T E A P O D and use code TEAPOD20T E A P O D20.
Amy Ehrett
When Kohler, the global design leader in luxurious kitchen and bath products, came to me and said, martha, we need an ambassador for our timeless, elegant, durable cast iron products. I said, I'm in. Now let me see the factory. Weeks later, I was suited up in coveralls and work boots, walking through their Kohler, Wisconsin cast iron foundry. I stood next to the molten iron furnace, saw the hand applying enamel, and touched the gorgeous finished products waiting to be sent out into the world. Since 1883, Kohler cast iron products have been forged and finished by the incredible craftspeople right in Kohler, Wisconsin. I'll tell you, I gained a newfound respect and appreciation for Kohler's cast iron craftsmanship. So now I'm lending my discerning stamp of approval to my most beloved Kohler cast iron products for their durability, beauty and timelessness. Shop my Kohler cast iron favorites curated on Kohler.com bring the warmth, character and enduring style of these timeless products into your kitchens and bathrooms. As the Kohler cast Iron ambassador, I say, long live cast iron.
Barbie
Hey, it's Rach. And if you're like me, you want
Ashley Akinetti
treats that are simple and taste amazing.
Barbie
And that's why I love Johnny Pops.
Ashley Akinetti
They're deliciously made with simple ingredients and no artificial dyes. Whether it's a quick snack for the
Barbie
kids or a sweet moment for yourself,
Ashley Akinetti
Johnny Pops are the perfect treat. And there's a kind deed on every stick to encourage everyone to share a little kindness. So next time you're in the freezer aisle, grab a box of Johnny Pops and feel great about what you're sharing.
Barbie
Johnny Pops, a better pop for a better world. And it's all. So now I can't even do my little twisty thing because I've been working too hard. I'm a bartender.
Carlos Miller
Oh, yeah?
Barbie
Yeah, I'm a bartender. So now I feel like I got carpal tunnel in here. I can't do my little signature twisting move. You'll get it back. So you want me to be out here making money or you want me to be out here twisting?
Nurse Trop
No, for real. Twisting. I'll take this one.
Barbie
Twisting or making money.
Nurse Trop
You like? You a working woman?
Carlos Miller
I love a woman who got some money. They always say men being intimidated by successful women, but none of the men I know are like, we love a woman who be buying. Especially when, like, somebody say, the wrong and she kind of get mad and she popping a little bit.
Barbie
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
How much is it? I got it.
Barbie
Yeah, we tricks on this couch. We. We trick a little bit if it's,
Carlos Miller
you know, nothing like that.
Nurse Trop
Some niggas don't appreciate that though.
Carlos Miller
A lot of them do. You see how we be focused on them little bitty who it up for everybody. Yeah, like just let's. Let's eliminate them, right?
Barbie
What's something that'll make you philosophical?
Carlos Miller
Yeah, the ladies, man, them make it hard for everybody.
Nurse Trop
They are the majority though.
Carlos Miller
They stress y' all out. And then when like me show up ready to have a good time and entertain, then y' all be reserved. Cause you've been dealing with this. Who then told you all this great that you bringing to the table ain't valuable. Now you don't want to wear your lingerie with the legs out. And yeah.
Nurse Trop
Cause he didn't appreciate it.
Carlos Miller
And now a like me.
Tamara Judge
Sure.
Carlos Miller
I don't even get that. Cause you think all don't like this. Stop with these whole ass.
Nurse Trop
When you meet a new one, give them a fair chance.
Carlos Miller
Start from scratch, clean slate.
Nurse Trop
Don't be jaded.
Barbie
That's right, don't be jaded. So what, what would you like for a woman to buy you? What are those things that you know you can buy, they make a man feel good?
Carlos Miller
Anything.
Barbie
Anything.
Carlos Miller
We out here operating with so little that the smallest little things feel so important.
Barbie
Because they bash the women on the Internet for buying. Like the little. Remember they was doing the baskets with the underwear and the socks and stuff like that. Yeah. But then you'll meet him and he'd be like, if a woman just bought me socks and underwear, I'd be happy.
Carlos Miller
Well, that'd really be a lot of them broke ass women in the comments trying to make that shit sound bad. Ain't nothing wrong with buying your something. It just be the women who can't do it who try to make it seem like it's up because they got flat purses.
Barbie
Or is these young hoochie mamas talking about younger men that they just like bitch, if you ain't coming with what's some overly designer shit that being like because which by designer for your men, they deserve it.
Carlos Miller
But some of these who like too into the labels too.
Barbie
Yeah, he like, you ain't buy me a goyard bag, you a flat purse. Like.
Nurse Trop
Or they just be dropping hints. Like I like it when a woman do for me. And like why do you keep saying, saying this?
Barbie
I'm Gonna buy your ass a comforter.
Nurse Trop
Because this is the thing. Man can buy us flowers. They can like, you know, buy some edible arrangements and stuff. Like what is the equivalent to flowers for y'? All. That's easy to buy some flower even though they do be expensive.
Carlos Miller
Buy your that you want them to have. It ain't no just universal like too.
Nurse Trop
You got some good answers.
Carlos Miller
Yeah, get your name. Go get your fresh fitted or something. A nice T shirt and wife beater combo. Some that you like to see a man. You know what I mean? Find out your shoe size. Learn your every need a fresh pair of forces every now and then.
Nurse Trop
I'm good for some forces.
Carlos Miller
Need a some forces little accessory. And you ain't gotta get a Rolex every time. But if you got it like that, love a watch her or something, you know, get a nigga something nice. But it is good to pop your shit too as a woman. Cause I'm telling you, a lot of women don't do shit for a nigga, but ask them for shit. So when you show up with some shit, it's gonna put you in a whole nother category.
Barbie
Carlos.
Nurse Trop
Allegedly.
Barbie
That all sound good. But you did just tell us that fuck the realest bitch you ever had. Your favorite eater. And she probably ain't buy nothing. She ain't bring nothing but spit.
Carlos Miller
What if your eater is the realest bitch you ever had?
Barbie
There we go.
Nurse Trop
That was the question though. But if that. You got a two for one. So it makes sense now.
Barbie
She buying you stuff, doing all this. But then your favorite eater, that's she ranked everybody. So do we need to buy stuff or do we need to gaw gog 3000.
Nurse Trop
You need to be both, okay?
Carlos Miller
You need to be both. Because like I said, you show up with the gift and you put the Gog Gawk 3000 with it. And the twist.
Nurse Trop
The twist. I don't know about this weekend Lethal Combination shit.
Barbie
We gonna figure it out.
Carlos Miller
Nigga cuss his mama out about you.
Barbie
Oh, so I might be that Sorry, Ms. Gladys.
Carlos Miller
You don't know her like I do.
Barbie
Those are exact words. And y' all gonna respect her.
Carlos Miller
Exactly.
Nurse Trop
I know that's right.
Barbie
Shout out to Ms. Gladys. I didn't want you to get into it with your son.
Nurse Trop
But her name Gladys, for real.
Barbie
I would never call her name out. We not. We gonna stop being so personable.
Carlos Miller
No, you're not.
Barbie
We're gonna try to.
Carlos Miller
No, you're not. Because the you talking about. He gonna see this episode. Somebody gonna send him that little clip and blood. So you talking about my mama like I did that. You ever got into it with a mama?
Nurse Trop
No, never.
Barbie
I'm sweet.
Nurse Trop
I never got into it with me before, but I didn't get it. I was raised right, so I ain't do too much. I let her have it about the same, pretty much, yeah.
Barbie
I don't do the cuz.
Nurse Trop
What the what? We gonna argue and then what? I'm a two piece show. Like what are we gonna do? We're not gonna. We're not gonna be on if somebody get into it with your mama. Well, say your mama started it. Are you gonna defend your lady?
Carlos Miller
I don't know.
Nurse Trop
You could just be neutral and just break it up and say like you five years old Again, I don't know
Carlos Miller
my mama real hood project where she was before she passed. But I don't think that that ain't. That meant the kind of problems you want.
Nurse Trop
Yeah, you don't want them neither.
Barbie
I be scared of the nigga with hood sisters and stuff like that too. You got it, baby. Your sisters like to gang bang, they toting pistols, all that. Don't call your sister on Miho. Me and you can fight. Don't call your damn sisters Kiki Nim. She just did a five year bid. I don't got. Oh, not Kiki.
Nurse Trop
Why she gotta keep using.
Barbie
Kiki's a ghetto name. Kiki with the E, not the I.
Nurse Trop
Okay, cool. Yeah,
Barbie
leave them hoes over there.
Carlos Miller
Every hood got a Kiki though.
Nurse Trop
What's that? What they real name be?
Carlos Miller
It'd be some shit that you'll never. It'd be like Kyosha or.
Barbie
That's a nice name.
Carlos Miller
Kiasha.
Barbie
You gonna tell them your real name?
Nurse Trop
Kiki. It's Kiana.
Barbie
Tell me your whole name.
Nurse Trop
Yeah, you was. You was you close.
Carlos Miller
But see, you don't even know her first name until y' all like graduate high school. I ain't never heard nobody call her shit.
Barbie
But kiss me.
Nurse Trop
I thought that was your real name. I thought that was on your birth certificate.
Barbie
So with the, with the women, would you prefer a bad wig or chipped toenails?
Carlos Miller
Both of them can easily be fixed so they don't.
Barbie
So you don't have no instant icks with women like, eh, no, ma'. Am. You can't fuck with Carlos.
Carlos Miller
Bad wig can fuck shit up though. Cause a bad wig can really.
Nurse Trop
Everybody can see it.
Carlos Miller
Fuck you up. Yeah. Cause it make you look like you making fucked up decisions. You know, people that you care about will start pulling you to the Side, you know what I mean? Like, your homegirl be like, why don't you tell her to get a better wig? Yeah, why her hair always fucked up? She cute, but her hair always fucked up. And it's hard for you to defend this shit as a man. So sometimes you have to just let that shit go. And you have to. You can't just like, baby, your wig fucked up. You gotta just start. You doing her some money to get her hair done or you start introducing her to stylists and shit.
Barbie
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
Cause men know a lot of women.
Barbie
So book her an appointment.
Nurse Trop
So you gonna hook her with one of your old hoes?
Carlos Miller
Nah, not. You can't hook up with none of your old hoes. But sometimes, like, it keeps going back to your, like your. Your best eater. Sometimes she'd be like, I ain't gonna say nothing. Tell her come see me at the show.
Barbie
You know, them eaters, they be real.
Carlos Miller
Especially if they like it. They were like, I with too. That's the code too.
Nurse Trop
Yeah, yeah, you gotta hit her with the. Mr. Wilson, don't you embarrass me. I ain't gonna lie. Be caring about how you look when you go out. One time this told me, you ain't going out with them sandals on. They was like this much too little on my foot. He was like, yeah, but you're not wearing them sandals though.
Carlos Miller
Stopped and bought some shoes before.
Barbie
What was wrong with the shoes?
Carlos Miller
I'm a shoe. Like a sneaker head, okay? So I can't do the fucked up shoes. I cannot do that. That is a deal breaker for me. It's not like I quit fucking with you, but I buy. I will stop and get you some. Like if you wear them little bitty thin ass sandals, like the little cheap
Barbie
ones, little flat, flat, flat, flat.
Carlos Miller
Or the ones that look like they'll break real easy or they have the strings, you know.
Nurse Trop
So how did you tell her we gonna replace them shoes, Baby?
Carlos Miller
I just stopped and was like, like, let's go get some kicks.
Barbie
No, that's right.
Nurse Trop
That's cute. She probably love that.
Barbie
She's like.
Carlos Miller
And then, you know, like, the women who be having up shoes, they be like, I don't really care about shoes like that. Like you about to start.
Barbie
That's cute though. What if she would have been like, okay, I got a fit for them at home. Let's go.
Carlos Miller
No, you about to put them on.
Barbie
Go ahead, put them on.
Carlos Miller
Now, baby, now you got to do it with it. Like you gotta buy some and then get her some like, we got the air max.
Barbie
Okay, let's.
Nurse Trop
Oh, y' all matches.
Carlos Miller
Yeah, we got the air, mate.
Barbie
Yeah, that's super cute.
Carlos Miller
I've done that a couple times.
Nurse Trop
That's cute.
Barbie
All right, so advice for our podcast. What is something that, like, new podcasters like, focus on too much in the beginning?
Carlos Miller
The numbers.
Barbie
The numbers.
Nurse Trop
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
Don't worry about the view count or the, you know, the subscribers. You don't want to get into. Like, because podcasts, you can really find like a pocket and you can really find a flow. You know what I'm saying? Like, once you find your audience and you. You get the feedback and you see what it is that they like or, you know, don't like, you gotta kinda tailor the show to the people who watch it. You know what I'm saying?
Barbie
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
So just stay consistent, stay networking, stay looking for different platforms to put it out on, cross promote it. The audio in the video is two separate audiences. Cause you got people who will listen to the show who can't watch it, people who are in the truck and people who at work and in the warehouse and stuff like that. So just stay consistent. And like I said, look for different platforms like Amazon and Spotify and Apple Music and Facebook and Twitter and social media, Instagram clips. Have some dope editors and some quick good turnaround because you don't want to just be having shit because that's when you start losing content.
Barbie
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
Like when you do the shit, have that shit ready to go and stay in the studio. Like if you. You got time to. Around, bring some clothes, change it up, get some guests you don't need, don't. Don't let your show be so reliant on guests that that's all that you have. But you know, it keeps you some good people around who, you know, inspire you to be creative.
Nurse Trop
Yeah, but they said if you want, if you want your to crack, you gotta have you on here. Because Lex P said they got their first big break after you got on. They. So hopefully we can get a deal like Flash, let's go.
Carlos Miller
I like to go on other people's show though, because you get to talk about that you wouldn't normally get to talk about.
Barbie
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
You know what I'm saying?
Barbie
And we love the four months. Girls like everything that they're doing, period. Like, they are clowning, love them. And they're just themselves, like literally so.
Carlos Miller
And that's how they are all the time. They really dope. Like, they so alike, but they so different at the same time that they did you know what I'm saying? The show didn't never fuck up nothing. They had going with their personal life and they stayed friends and you know, everybody has disagreements, ups and downs but at the end of the day you got to put that to the side and make sure that the focus is the overall project and they do a good job at that.
Barbie
They're fire sold out tours like shout out to them.
Nurse Trop
They are definitely popular.
Barbie
You realize they twins.
Carlos Miller
I was just looking at that.
Nurse Trop
Sisters are twins.
Carlos Miller
Sisters for sure. For sure.
Barbie
I'm a sister too.
Ashley Akinetti
This is Ashley from the Ben and Ashley I Almost famous podcast. Did you know that over 70 of new parents are combo feeding? They're using both breast milk and formula to feed their baby. Whether you're exclusively formula feeding, combo feeding or just want to back up in the pantry, Bobby is the formula that I trust to deliver safe, complete nutrition to my baby's bottle. Both of my children use Bobby. We loved it so much. Had the best experience with this brand. They're incredible. The customer service, what they stand for. Bobby's organic European style formulas are crafted with clinically backed ingredients and designed for easy digestion just like breast milk. I did a lot of research before formula feeding and I loved what I saw from Bobby. Every single batch goes through 2000 plus safety and quality checks before leaving their owned US manufacturing facility. If you want to feed with confidence to head to hi bobby.com that is high h I b o b b I e dot com to find your baby's new favorite formula.
Amy Ehrett
Hello beautiful. I'm Amy Ehrett, founder of Madison Reed, a hair color company I named after my daughter. I started Madison Reed because I believed women deserve better. Better ingredients, better results and the freedom to color on your terms. Color at home with our permanent hair color kit in less time and for less than a typical salon. It's a salon in a box for rich dimensional color and 100% great coverage. Try our 10 minute root touch up kit for a permanent root refresh or our hair and brow mascara to cover stray grays on the go. Or visit one of our 95 hair color bars nationwide to let our licensed pros color your hair for you. Join the more than 5 million women who have switched to our award winning color. Visit madison-reid.com and use code PODCAST20 for 20% off your first order or service. Confident, bold, Unstoppable. That's the power of Madison Reed. When Kohler, the global design leader in luxurious kitchen and bath products came to me and said martha, we need an ambassador for our timeless, elegant, durable cast iron products. I said, I'm in. Now let me see the factory. Weeks later, I was suited up in coveralls and work boots, walking through their Kohler, Wisconsin cast iron foundry. I stood next to the molten iron furnace, saw the hand applying enamel, and touched the gorgeous finished products waiting to be sent out into the world. Since 1883, Kohler cast iron products have been forged and finished by the incredible craftspeople right in Kohler, Wisconsin. I'll tell you, I gained a newfound respect and appreciation for Kohler's cast iron craftsmanship. So now I'm lending my discerning staff of approval to my most beloved Kohler cast iron products for their durability, beauty and timelessness. Shop my Kohler Cast Iron favorites curated on Kohler.com bring the warmth, character and enduring style of these timeless products into your kitchens and bathrooms. As the Kohler cast iron ambassador, I say, long live cast iron.
Barbie
Hey, it's Rach. And if you're like me, you want
Ashley Akinetti
treats that are simple and taste amazing.
Barbie
And that's why I love Johnny Pops.
Ashley Akinetti
They're deliciously made with simple ingredients and no artificial dyes. Whether it's a quick snack for the
Barbie
kids or a sweet moment for yourself,
Ashley Akinetti
Johnny Pops are the perfect treat. And there's a kind deed on every stick to encourage everyone to share a little kindness. So next time you're in the freezer aisle, grab a box of Johnny Pops and feel great about what you're sharing.
Barbie
Johnny Pops. A better pop for a better world.
Carlos Miller
No, they were twins.
Barbie
I got a different.
Carlos Miller
I didn't want to be like y' all sisters and then y' all like, hell no, that's just my friend. But that's crazy.
Barbie
When you were saying stay locked in and keep the friendship for us, I'm like, they sister. So they going to still be locked
Carlos Miller
in and they might around and jump your ass.
Barbie
Push my ass out.
Nurse Trop
We be the ones you got to worry about, Bar. We always going to be. We're good. But sometimes. Oh, wait, I thought he was talking about Barbie. Oh, no.
Carlos Miller
Oh, okay.
Barbie
By a millisecond.
Carlos Miller
Who can a minute don't play with their minute.
Barbie
They don't play about that minute.
Nurse Trop
No, she don't play about that minute.
Carlos Miller
I know that's what it is when you're the oldest you that I was here.
Nurse Trop
But you're not the real oldest, though. It's like the older ones, they be wanting that, respecting that. All right, I'm not gonna get to argue. I'm not the Real Otis when I came. Ain't nobody coming.
Barbie
They've been a jumped over you, Carlos. All right, so we go, listen, we do this thing called last call confession. So now that you're on the couch,
Carlos Miller
you really just had to break the twins.
Barbie
They be fighting.
Nurse Trop
Oh, this is all the time
Amy Ehrett
with
Nurse Trop
her or my plant. But he being good today.
Barbie
Yeah. Your point is doing so good.
Carlos Miller
The little sister be the rough one.
Barbie
He see. She's really, really strong.
Nurse Trop
He's enlightened. She is.
Barbie
She's very strong.
Carlos Miller
I got siblings, bro. You, the little ones always be feisty.
Barbie
How many siblings you got?
Carlos Miller
A lot.
Barbie
A lot.
Nurse Trop
That's two.
Barbie
Well, you said. Yo, you said your mama was eight of us. Yeah, I got six siblings. I'm probably eight, nine, ten, counting both sides. But that's a story for a different day. Who did you have more fun with, your mom's side or your dad's side growing up?
Carlos Miller
Definitely my mom's side because they are a little more. They're a little more like crazy.
Barbie
Crazy like.
Carlos Miller
You know what I'm saying? Everybody on this side is a shit talker. My dad said I got a lot of shit talkers too, but they're a little more. They're a little more violent. But my mom's side, they. They more fun.
Barbie
Okay.
Nurse Trop
Yeah.
Barbie
Oh, so your dad's side, they getting drunk and fighting each other.
Carlos Miller
These are like the killers and shit. Yeah, they take shit too far. People get hit with bats and shit like that.
Nurse Trop
Why so serious?
Carlos Miller
I don't know. It's just. That's just the gene on that side of the family, man. They. They take shit to the extreme.
Barbie
All right, so let's get into the last call confessions. Our viewers, they tap in, they send us stuff that they need help with. So this one says, I am a 36 year old black male. Over a year ago, I met an older woman. She's 48. She approached me at the bar and told me she was recently divorced. I told her I was married and she told me straight up she was looking for new dick and liked what she saw. We exchanged info, started talking, and a week later we hook up. And I hate to admit, but her lemon drop. You following her lemon drop is better than my wife's by a landslide. Grit, wetness, and she's a squirter, which I love. Eventually, she keeps it real and tells me she has a problem with the lack of consistency of the sex that we're having. Since I only see her so often throughout the month, immediately I got an idea. I Asked her how she felt about screwing my homeboy. He's single and be on the same type of vibe. Plus he was allowing me to use his spot for the link up. She looked shocked, but agreed and even said she was down for us screwing her together at the same time. Needless to say, we've been killing that old lemon drop for the past six months. Most of the time it's a one on one. Sometimes it's a two on one. No jealousy or awkwardness. Just a good nasty time. How do y' all feel about this? And what can I do to keep it up?
Nurse Trop
Them is sister husbands.
Barbie
Sister husbands?
Carlos Miller
Is that a new term?
Barbie
No, just made up here.
Nurse Trop
Cause what are we doing? Okay, go ahead.
Carlos Miller
That's.
Nurse Trop
Wow, that's some freaked out.
Barbie
I wasn't expecting to go to that. I think he was like. He was gonna like bring her around with the wife, but through the best friend. But to get to a 2 on 2, 2v1.
Nurse Trop
He said it's better than my wife's by landslide. Landslide.
Barbie
And she old. I wonder how the wife she ain't.
Carlos Miller
Oh, she's just older than him.
Barbie
She's older.
Nurse Trop
She's 40. She almost.
Barbie
She almost 50 and still got grip wetness and squirt. Old lady squirting.
Nurse Trop
She's not that old.
Barbie
A 50. That's a grandma squirting. Get it?
Nurse Trop
Ball me maw.
Barbie
I hope she got plastic on her couch if she wanted Them old ladies. You don't think she ain't that old
Nurse Trop
motherfucker.
Barbie
Oh, damn.
Carlos Miller
Yeah.
Nurse Trop
Oh my. She love Asian people.
Carlos Miller
Yeah. I'm 43, so I don't know. That's weird though to be that be a grown ass man and you still doing like that. That's.
Nurse Trop
That's.
Carlos Miller
I don't know.
Barbie
I kind of couldn't do it.
Carlos Miller
But I. I like Kevin Gay said I can't condone what you doing, big brother, but I salute you. Cause that's. Wow. That means she was a real freak. Cuz he really just didn't want to leave like loser. He did whatever he could to keep her around and protect the marriage.
Nurse Trop
I thought he was gonna hand her off to the friend.
Carlos Miller
That's what's gonna end up happening anyway. The homeboy gonna double cross him and end up getting in a whole relationship with. And then he gonna be cut out the situation and he's like I brought the situation. Then he'll around and probably marry us Homeboys be tender like that.
Barbie
He gonna marry her.
Nurse Trop
Crack your best friend,
Carlos Miller
they do shit like that.
Nurse Trop
She's not the ones that were joke. Show me. Oh, what's that one question. Would you rather your girl have choose the girl with a thousand bodies or to be with Right. Or the girl who done cracked your best friend?
Carlos Miller
What?
Nurse Trop
Five bodies, but one of them is your best friend.
Barbie
A thousand bodies.
Nurse Trop
So you saying.
Carlos Miller
Hold on, let me do the math on this.
Nurse Trop
Girl A has a thousand bodies. Would you choose her or would you choose girl B who has five bodies, but she been with your best friend?
Barbie
I think it was like some of your friends, some of her bodies.
Carlos Miller
Some of them.
Barbie
Some of them more than one.
Carlos Miller
I mean, that's still better than fucking a thousand people.
Barbie
A thousand. A thousand dicks is crazy, right?
Nurse Trop
I agree. I agree.
Barbie
That's like a Casico field house full of dicks.
Nurse Trop
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
You really have to look at how much a thousand is. That is a lot.
Barbie
Can you do a room full of a thousand people? Mal, can you look that picture up for us so we can do it?
Carlos Miller
Do you understand? Like, we couldn't fit a. Like we couldn't even put a thousand people in this building.
Nurse Trop
Right? When did you have time to do a thousand dicks? So, I mean, y' all don't know how many are you doing a day? That's multiple dicks a day.
Barbie
All right?
Nurse Trop
I don't crack my. With my friend, so I'm already gonna go with the.
Carlos Miller
I like how she get down, and I like that y' all put her by me.
Barbie
I did that before, but it was terrible.
Nurse Trop
It's different for women than men. Men and women might look at it different, we might not. But men, a thousand.
Barbie
We.
Nurse Trop
We here. Five. Give me the fiverr.
Barbie
A hundred versus a thousand. 100 or 100.
Carlos Miller
I mean, it's still sounding like a lot, but that's probably around average to me. In my mind, I'm thinking everybody. I think Everybody. At least 100 people. That's me. That's how I like women.
Nurse Trop
You think women?
Carlos Miller
Yes.
Nurse Trop
Hell, no.
Barbie
50?
Nurse Trop
Not even that. 50. 50 years old.
Carlos Miller
No, man, at 35.
Barbie
Oh, that's a lot.
Nurse Trop
Where are you from again?
Carlos Miller
I'm from the dirty South. I'm from the Dirty South. People be a lot.
Barbie
Yeah, but a lot of. We'll do, like, reoccurring.
Nurse Trop
You gotta recycle that dick. You can't just go out and get a new one or even time.
Carlos Miller
It sound good. It sound good. That's how you end up. A thousand people see people out here.
Barbie
Okay.
Carlos Miller
You can't convince me otherwise.
Barbie
Do you have any funny fears? Fears that someone Else will find hilarious. Cuz I have quite a few. What? Oh, I thought you meant wrap up that topic.
Nurse Trop
I was wondering why this.
Barbie
I just kept going, okay, I'll tell y' all my funny fears, and then we can end it out. My funny fears are the biggest one is being out with someone, and they ask me for money that I should have, and I don't like if we was out at the club and they like, Barbie. You like Barbie. Buy this bottle for me. This is. Now I'm gonna give you the money, and I don't have it.
Tamara Judge
Bitch.
Nurse Trop
That's why you need a credit card.
Barbie
And I don't have it.
Carlos Miller
She don't have a credit card.
Nurse Trop
Listen, this our little hood baby. We working on her. She gonna. She's a work in progress.
Carlos Miller
Oh, I got a funny feel. I don't want nobody seeing my ass.
Nurse Trop
Why?
Barbie
So you crack with your draws on?
Nurse Trop
No, I'm just saying, like, nobody outside of the bedroom.
Carlos Miller
Why is it not like I'm with. Like, I think sex is totally different, but, like, randomly.
Nurse Trop
Oh, like your butt crack?
Barbie
Yeah.
Carlos Miller
I don't want nobody seeing my ass.
Barbie
You ain't big enough for yourself.
Carlos Miller
Like, I wouldn't want to be having sex and then, like, somebody looking through the door.
Nurse Trop
That is.
Tamara Judge
That is.
Carlos Miller
They don't want nobody seeing my ass.
Barbie
Yeah.
Nurse Trop
Cause I had this one time he didn't have no blinds on his window. And I'm just thinking, like, if somebody ever just walked past that window, they gonna see us in here, right?
Barbie
He had a big ass.
Nurse Trop
Yeah, he. He wanted them. His crack show when he get out the court.
Barbie
She like the big, big phone.
Nurse Trop
My thing is, why don't they just hold their drawers? You don't feel that air on your. And they be trying to buy smaller sizes than what they are, you know, small draws. I. Yeah, smaller draws. Like, you know, you would. Two, three years. Why are you getting a medium? Getting a large?
Barbie
And if you are big, don't buy breathes by the stinky man. Fruit of the looms. Like melt got on today. Let that and them balls breathe. All right, Carlos, thank you so much
Nurse Trop
for being here with us.
Carlos Miller
Thank y' all for having me, man. This was a. A very lovely experience. Y' all got great chemistry over here.
Nurse Trop
All right, Maybe next time we get a little longer.
Barbie
Yeah. Cuz we talk for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours.
Carlos Miller
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Barbie
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Barbie
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Amy Ehrett
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Nurse Trop
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Date: July 29, 2026
Host: Barbie, with co-hosts Nurse Trop and Kiki
Guest: Karlous Miller (Comedian, 85 South Show)
This lively, unfiltered episode of Club 520 features special guest Karlous Millerâcomedian, media mogul, and host of the 85 South Show. True to the episode's title, Karlous doesnât hold back as the group dives into topics ranging from gender dynamics and relationships to podcasting advice and explicit, hilarious sex talk. The tone is candid, comedic, and conversational, blending real-life experiences with outrageous stories and laughter.
[03:45â04:25]
[07:00â08:45]
[08:32â09:00]
[09:33â12:29]
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[19:01â21:25]
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[27:23â28:35]
[33:44â37:56]
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[50:53â51:54]
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[57:24â59:12]
For fans of candid comedy, spicy relationship debates, and viral storytelling, this Club 520 episode with Karlous Miller is a can't-miss blend of outrageous laughs and relatable advice.