John Stamos | Club Random with Bill Maher

Summary

Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode: John Stamos | Club Random with Bill Maher
Release date: December 29, 2025
Host: Bill Maher
Guest: John Stamos

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Episode Overview

In this lively, freewheeling episode of Club Random, Bill Maher sits down with actor and musician John Stamos for a candid, often hilarious conversation traversing their Hollywood journeys, music obsessions, fleeting feuds, and musings on aging and pop culture. Eschewing politics almost entirely, the duo embrace the Club Random spirit: unscripted stories, mutual ribbing, entertainment nostalgia, and revelations that are as intimate as they are absurd.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Rekindling a Supposed Old Hollywood Feud

[02:07–05:00]

• Stamos and Maher reminisce about nearly getting into a fight at a Hollywood club in the 1990s — though neither seems to recall the exact reason.
• Both acknowledge drinking heavily in their younger days, chalking up the near-miss to "two drunks" and lingering club culture competitiveness.
• Stamos: “Hollywood white boys getting into a fight. What could be more glam?” [04:10]

Building Organic Relationships in Show Business

[05:00–06:10]

• Maher describes how showbiz friendships need to develop naturally, citing anecdote about being at dinner with Salman Rushdie.
• He resists forced networking, preferring organic connection: “The last thing you want to do as a talk show host is be the guy who, like, meets somebody once and, hey, let's hang out.” [05:14]

Geeking Out on Music and Musicianship

[06:14–10:00]

• Both Maher and Stamos geek out over musicians like Billy Joel and the interconnectedness of music and celebrities.
• Stamos admits failed attempts to learn guitar, while noting Howard Stern’s newfound guitar obsession.
• The conversation shifts to how certain stars, especially comics, prefer the company of their own kind.

The Beach Boys, Music History, and Infamous LA Lore

[08:06–13:54]

• They share stories about The Beach Boys, their fans’ protectiveness, and infamous incidents— including Dennis Wilson’s connection to Charles Manson and Terry Melcher, the Sharon Tate house, and classic LA music history.
• Maher: “They treat their stars, especially their musical stars. We don't want John and Paul fighting. Mommy and Daddy shouldn't be fighting.” [09:02]
• Stamos and Maher riff on classic songs, notably “God Only Knows,” and “Disney Girls.”

Aging, Drinking, and the Club Era

[14:02–15:16]

• Both reflect on their “douchey” younger days, fueled by nightlife, drinks, and chasing girls.
• Stamos describes not having a true drinking problem since work was never affected, but admits to heavy social drinking in his prime.

The Politics of Hollywood and Wokeness

[16:00–17:44]

• Maher and Stamos discuss the contradictions of being “old school liberal” in Hollywood and Maher’s “soft cancellation” for not being woke enough.
• Maher: “I get nothing but shit, really... it's just like... So I take a lot of shit, what I call a soft cancellation for not being woke, but still being a liberal.” [16:53]
• Recognition (“up for a Golden Globe”) but persistent sense of outsider status in the awards world.

On Memory, Intelligence, and Hosting

[19:06–20:13]

• Stamos expresses awe at Maher's quick recall and command of topics without notes.
• Maher humbly downplays his intelligence: “I'm not a genius, but I'm not dumb as a rock sick, insane, wacko, Very sad or a crazy man.” [20:17]

Broadway Memories & Iconic Entertainment Experiences

[20:53–21:41]

• Both share their Broadway experiences: Maher’s Tony-nominated play, O'Hurley as the emcee in “Cabaret.”
• Reflect on the excitement of theater life: “You walk out after the show and you see there's all the other people coming out and all the other shows.” [21:33]

Ageism & Hollywood’s Treatment of Veterans

[24:25–27:19]

• Maher laments Hollywood's ageism, referencing Rob Reiner's struggles as a celebrated but “older” director.
• O'Hurley recalls his mentorship under Jack Klugman as a young soap actor, being exposed to comedy legends’ creative process.

Behind-the-Scenes of Sitcom Casting

[30:14–33:30]

• Maher reveals he was once offered Bob Saget’s role on Full House but declined: “It was money and it was the lead on a show, but we just thought it wasn't right for me.” [30:23]
• Both discuss sitcom recasting and navigating early career choices.

Showbiz Power and Replaceability

[34:22–34:53]

• Maher offers cautionary tales from TV: even titular stars can be replaced, referencing “Rhoda,” “Roseanne,” and Full House.
• “You are not important and they can always get rid of you.” [34:44]

Beach Boys, Drumming, and Playing With Rock Legends

[36:33–38:29] & [64:08–68:42]

• Stamos recounts his decades staying connected with The Beach Boys, mainly as a drummer, and playing on “Kokomo.”
• Stories of sharing the stage with legends : “First time I played with [the Beach Boys] was in 85 at the Washington Monument... Kokomo was their comeback song.” [66:53–68:42]
• Tales of jamming with John Fogerty and Bruce Springsteen at personal parties.

The “Golden Bachelor Age Inappropriate” Pitch

[48:03–52:01]

• Maher pitches a Bachelor spinoff, “Golden Bachelor: Age Inappropriate,” in which he, as an older man, would give guidance (not just roses) to younger women. The segment is both a sincere proposal and tongue-in-cheek commentary on dating reality TV.
  • “I want to be the Golden Bachelor, but none of this age-appropriate... That's a funny show. That's a great fucking show!” [48:18–48:32]
• Stamos asks Maher to share the straightforward “dad” advice he’d give Gen Z Instagram models.

Cultural and Generational Commentary

[60:35–66:08]

• They try on various bits, including riffing as a clueless 22-year-old girl and lamenting the lack of basic education and appreciation for culture among young people.
• Maher: “If any problem you want to identify in America as root, I would say it is education.” [83:39]

Music vs. Comedy—Chasing Women, the ick, and Aging Single

[45:50–47:48]; [88:05–91:00]

• Maher philosophizes on musicians’ easier access to romantic attention and how comics have to “go through their brain,” which he considers an advantage in the long run.
• The pair riff on the concept of “the ick”—how a single turn off can destroy sexual attraction.

Sex, Scandal, and Hollywood Gossip

[65:24–73:53]

• Wild tales involving Vanna White’s neighbors, Jimmy Page’s infamous groupie stories, and ribald speculation about sexuality in the industry.
• Maher: “Gay guys hit on you. You seem like the kind of guy gay guys would hit on. And I mean that as a compliment.” [71:37]

Evolving Attitudes Toward LGBTQ+

[74:16–75:10]

• Both observe huge cultural shifts: “Stop pretending. We live in America where it's just a nightmare to be gay. I mean, there was a time and it's not now.” [74:30]
• Stamos has officiated gay weddings, demonstrating allyship.

Parenting, Childhood, and Fame

[51:48–52:01]

• Maher reflects on his relationship with his mother amidst newfound fame; she kept him humble: “I'm kind of a big shot now. And she said, oh, yeah, I forget because I remember holding your little hand.” [51:56]

Comedy Icons: Don Rickles, Sinatra, and Showbiz Stories

[94:21–102:08]

• Stories of Don Rickles’ old-school insult comedy, friendship with Sinatra, and near-dangerous mob jokes.
• O’Hurley’s father famously refused a photo with Sinatra, which left an impression on Maher about humility.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On their infamous “almost-fight”:
  • Maher: “Hollywood white boys getting into a fight. What could be more glam?” [04:10]
  • Stamos: “I was a drunk and you were a drunk.” [03:45]
• On being organically famous:
  • Maher: “When they happen organically ... it just happened organically.” [05:06]
• On aging in Hollywood:
  • Maher: “This town is very ageist and very not very nice to people who have done amaz[ing things].” [24:29]
• On the Beach Boys:
  • Maher: “The best 20 Beach Boy songs are as good as the best Beatle 20 songs.” [44:48]
• On cancel culture:
  • Maher: “It’s just like ... I take a lot of shit, what I call a soft cancellation for not being woke, but still being a liberal. But that’s not enough for these folks.” [16:53]
• On the comedy-music divide:
  • Maher: “Comics have to go through their brain — but in the long run, that’s good. It filters out people who you are not really going to vibe with.” [46:45]
• On “the ick”:
  • Maher: “The ick is when you do something that makes a girl get the ick — she can never, ever look at you like she wants to fuck you again.” [88:06]
• On the Golden Bachelor pitch:
  • Maher: “Golden Bachelor, Age Inappropriate. But you can't have ... that's super sleazy. I don't want to be sleazy ... If I'm with somebody who's younger than me, it's to make their life better, not to...” [81:59–84:36]
• On Don Rickles and Sinatra:
  • Maher: “When he was on the Tonight Show with Sinatra and he would do mafia jokes at Frank. Nobody did any jokes at Frank. But to do mafia joke, two bullets in the head — if Thursday wasn’t been laughing, right, it would have been ... there's no in between of, like, getting the laugh and dying.” [103:21]

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Segment Timestamps

• Old Hollywood feud, clubs, and drinking: [02:07–05:00]
• Organic friendships and talk show etiquette: [05:14–06:14]
• Obsessing over music and The Beach Boys: [06:14–13:54]
• Aging, addiction, and club culture: [14:02–15:16]
• Hollywood, awards, and “wokeness”: [16:00–17:44]
• Bill Maher’s memory and approach to hosting: [19:06–20:13]
• Broadway tales and theater community: [20:53–21:41]
• On ageism in the business: [24:25–27:19]
• Early TV casting and “Full House”: [30:14–33:30]
• Showbiz power dynamics: [34:22–34:53]
• Playing with rock legends: [64:08–68:42]
• The Golden Bachelor pitch: [48:03–52:01, revisited 80:50–84:10]
• Musings on education and Gen Z: [60:35–66:08]
• Riffing on “the ick,” dating, and masculinity: [88:05–91:00]
• Hollywood rumors and sexual politics: [65:24–73:53]
• LGBTQ+ progress: [74:16–75:10]
• Parenting, family, and stardom: [51:48–52:01]
• Don Rickles, Sinatra, and showbiz nostalgia: [94:21–102:08]

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Closing Thoughts

This Club Random episode offers a delightful mix of nostalgia, music worship, sentimental mentoring, self-deprecating tales, and honest jabs at modern Hollywood's paradoxes. Maher and Stamos find new camaraderie in their shared past rather than their differences; peppering their stories with humor, candor, and a dash of wistfulness.

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“It's real for me.”
– John Stamos, [109:48]

“I would feel the same about you. I mean, it looks weird now that the end of it, like how much we love each other... but, you know, it’s real.”
– Bill Maher, [109:44–109:49]

Transcript

[John Stamos]

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[John O'Hurley]

Do you watch those shows?

[John Stamos]

Yes, that was my guilty pleasure.

[John O'Hurley]

I've lost all respect for you.

[John Stamos]

I don't blame you, Club Random.

[John O'Hurley]

I don't know why we spent 22 years avoiding each other parties.

[John Stamos]

I wasn't avoiding. I just don't. No, no. Club Random Boy. I was told I have no recollection of it, that we almost had a fight once. I'd like to first of all offer a complete and absolute apology. I don't remember what it was, but. But in case it happens again, we're not Any younger? I feel like we should not have a bare knuckle. I think a regular fight, yes, with gloves, but no bare knuckles.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay, Fair enough. Look at you. So, are you in such good shape?

[John Stamos]

Sorry.

[John O'Hurley]

About what?

[John Stamos]

The fight. I don't remember that. Apparently we almost had.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, but you think I don't like you. And I think you don't like me.

[John Stamos]

No, I never.

[John O'Hurley]

And here we are.

[John Stamos]

I don't think they smell like rats in here.

[John O'Hurley]

It smells like.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, I feel like a rat died in the walls. Anyway, I don't have this memory, but.

[John O'Hurley]

This is just a funny thing.

[John Stamos]

I always liked you.

[John O'Hurley]

I know. Well, we've been. You know, we've seen each other.

[John Stamos]

Seen each other. But you're right, we don't. I've never really talked to you, ever.

[John O'Hurley]

Because you don't.

[John Stamos]

Except that time I almost killed you.

[John O'Hurley]

You know where it was?

[John Stamos]

What. What year? What year are we talking about?

[John O'Hurley]

It was in the 90s, I think.

[John Stamos]

It was at the 90s.

[John O'Hurley]

Do you remember? It was like a club. It was. It was.

[John Stamos]

I was always in a club.

[John O'Hurley]

I know, but it was a drunk. You couldn't get in.

[John Stamos]

I was a drunk and you were a drunk.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, that's true.

[John Stamos]

Okay, Two drunks.

[John O'Hurley]

Two drunks.

[John Stamos]

I think we solved it.

[John O'Hurley]

No, here. Here's the deal. It was like. It was Randy Gerber and George Clooney's place. Do you remember? They had that. That, that. That behind a hotel or something. It was like.

[John Stamos]

Of course they did. I don't remember, but of course they did.

[John O'Hurley]

And we were standing and we were waiting to go in to the VIP thing. And I think.

[John Stamos]

Hollywood white boys getting into a fight.

[John O'Hurley]

Exactly.

[John Stamos]

What could be more glam?

[John O'Hurley]

Stupid. Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, I love you, Bill.

[John Stamos]

What was the fight over, do you think?

[John O'Hurley]

I think I got in and you didn't.

[John Stamos]

Really? Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

And you're like, why is that fucking guy getting my. I said, fuck, Shannon. And I think we literally almost shit. You know, got.

[John Stamos]

Well, why would I get mad at you for that?

[John O'Hurley]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Since then, I've been your biggest fan.

[John Stamos]

I'm your fan.

[John O'Hurley]

But when I see you something, it's like, either, hey, John.

[John Stamos]

Or it's like, well, just because I don't push. What the laughing in there. I don't push relationships ever. Like friendships. Like when they happen organically. I was once out with Salman Rushdie at the Tower Bar and somebody came up to us and said, duck.

[John O'Hurley]

Sorry. No, perfect.

[John Stamos]

And they said, you know, how long have you guys been friends? And we went, like, looked at each other like, I don't know, Like, I know he did the show a long time ago. It just happened organically. You know, the last thing you want to do as a talk show host is be the guy who, like, meets somebody once and, hey, let's hang out. Can I have your number? George Clooney. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. But now it's happening that it's fated to happen now.

[John O'Hurley]

It had to. I had to write you a nice email and then.

[John Stamos]

Oh, so lovely. Thank you so much. That meant so much to me.

[John O'Hurley]

Did it really?

[John Stamos]

Well, because I love that Billy Joel show so much and him was such a.

[John O'Hurley]

You were so.

[John Stamos]

What a great get to get.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, you went to him. That.

[John Stamos]

That went to him, you know. Yeah, but somebody. We both love the musicians.

[John O'Hurley]

But you were so spot on. Like, you've interviewed, you know, everybody, and obviously we've seen you with so many, you know, politicians and, you know, all that, and you can go toe to toe with anybody. But watching you go toe to toe with a musician like that was like, who knew that you had that as part of your, you know, your repertoire?

[John Stamos]

I mean, that's one reason I started a podcast.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, right.

[John Stamos]

Because, you know, I would never do two hours with Billy Joel on, you know, it's not even a two hour show. Right. But, oh, I love music and I wish I could, you know, you can. You have a great, you know, split portfolio with music in it. I do not. I have no musical ability.

[John O'Hurley]

Do you play anything?

[John Stamos]

No. No. Twice I tried when I was 15 with the guitar. I got somewhere with it, but you could just tell if you're not really. And then somebody gave me a guitar fairly recently and the pandemic hit and I was like, oh, you know what? I'll pick up the guitar again. I'm home all day. So 50 years apart, I found out I have no musical ability. Really?

[John O'Hurley]

Guitar is hard to learn because it's. Piano would be easier. You hit three or four notes and there's a chord and you're done. Guitar, you got to press it and you got to get callouses. And you know who always thought he was a musical who's now playing guitar all day long is Howard Stern.

[John Stamos]

Really? Yeah. And he's playing guitar. I. I know he. He's another one who, like, knows his music.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Stamos]

You know, how do you know he's very close to Billy Joel? Cuz they both, like, live on Long Island. They're married. It's like couples like to get with couples. You know, stars like to be with stars. People feel comfortable with comics.

[John O'Hurley]

Like to be with comics.

[John Stamos]

Com. Absolutely, they do.

[John O'Hurley]

I'm. I'm a. I'm jumping around, but I am the. I'm a comic. Standup comic junkie. I think I'm a junkie junkie. Yeah. No, you're not.

[John Stamos]

Why go through.

[John O'Hurley]

You're the healthiest junkie I know.

[John Stamos]

Why go through comedy if you.

[John O'Hurley]

But I'm obsessed with standup comics and how you guys do it and craft and the science and the. You know, the.

[John Stamos]

Well, it's like, you know, it's the same with me watching you. I've seen you many times, like, at Jeff Franklin's parties, playing. You know, you're an official beach Boy now, right?

[John O'Hurley]

I don't consider myself that, but.

[John Stamos]

Well, it's like. Well, that's what I heard.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, who told you that? Me.

[John Stamos]

The same guy who told me we almost got into a fight. Yeah, I thought. Well, anyway.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, it's been.

[John Stamos]

You know, there's, like, guys who play with the Eagles now. I can't remember the. The guitarist name. And he's, like, really a part of the Eagles, but, like, they're not. You know, the fans want to see Mick and Keith, you know, holding hands at the end of the show, even though they fucking hate each other. And they're never gonna. Like. They're not going out to dinner after, you know, so, like, slumber parties. Would it, like, upset people that the Beach Boys fans are like that? They get upset about very emotional things. Yeah, sure. They treat their stars, especially their musical stars. We don't want John and Paul fighting. Mommy and Daddy shouldn't be fighting.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, right, right.

[John Stamos]

You know, and you certainly shouldn't be writing nasty songs about. Right.

[John O'Hurley]

And one of the guys in the band shouldn't become good friends with Charlie Manson. Shouldn't bring him home. Do you know the story?

[John Stamos]

Oh, you talk about Brian Wilson.

[John O'Hurley]

Dennis Wilson.

[John Stamos]

Dennis. Oh, okay.

[John O'Hurley]

Yes, Dennis Wilson was out. He was. He picked up two hitchhikers, took them back to his house, had sex with them, went to the studio with Terry Melcher, Doris Day's son.

[John Stamos]

Had sex with the hitchhiker. Had.

[John O'Hurley]

Two of them, turned out to be Squeaky Fromm and Susan Atkins comes home, there's a party going on in his house, and this little guy comes out and says, kisses his feet, says, I'm not here to hurt you, man. I'm here to serve you. It was Manson and moved Into Dennis's house and never left. Dennis had to move out. They crashed his cars. So Dennis, you know Manson wanted to be a singer, right?

[John Stamos]

Yes.

[John O'Hurley]

And he found.

[John Stamos]

I know. He was aspirant to the musical arts and thought he would advance himself through the Wilson connection. Yeah, that's a good bet.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Well, he did Brian Wilson to write songs for you.

[John O'Hurley]

He wrote a song that the Beach Boys recorded and played on the Mike Douglas show called Never Learn not to Love.

[John Stamos]

Written by Charles Manson.

[John O'Hurley]

Written by Charles Manson.

[John Stamos]

Lyrics by Jerome Porter for some. No, I don't. That's.

[John O'Hurley]

Lyric spectrum.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, they collaborated briefly, the end of.

[John O'Hurley]

And Manson, you know, like when. When. So they all thought he was a joke. Mike called him Pig Pen or something. And you know, Terry Melcher, who was Dors Day's son, was a. Was a producer. He produced the Birds, some other big groups. And Manson.

[John Stamos]

Music producer.

[John O'Hurley]

Music producer. And Manson wanted him. And. And he had a. He was a musician, he was a singer. He had. Terry. Terry and Bruce Johnston had a group together. They had Spring, little Cobra, won't you run, shut them down.

[John Stamos]

And.

[John O'Hurley]

And if it was a Beatles song, you'd know it.

[John Stamos]

Who was this by?

[John O'Hurley]

This was Terry Melcher and Johnson.

[John Stamos]

Who's this artist?

[John O'Hurley]

Bruce Johnson and Terry Melcher.

[John Stamos]

Bruce Johnson.

[John O'Hurley]

Anyway, Terry.

[John Stamos]

Terry Melcher was the producer.

[John O'Hurley]

He was. But he was an artist at first. Oh, and he.

[John Stamos]

The Birds were great.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Turn, Turn, Turn is one of the greatest singles of any era. Not just the fact that they turn. Biblical verse.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right, right.

[John Stamos]

Not that I'm a Bible fan, but that is. But that is a beautiful, beautiful verse. And you know, the Bible, once in a while does stumble upon some wisdom.

[John O'Hurley]

Leviticus.

[John Stamos]

One place. Not Leviticus.

[John O'Hurley]

Deuteronomy.

[John Stamos]

No, no, those are the ones that. Those are the. You know, like if you see a man lie with another man, kill him. No, this is more. And it was a beautiful verse, you know, to everything. Turn, turn. There is a season for. You know, it's, it's, it's. And to turn that. And then the song with that 12 string guitar.

[John O'Hurley]

McGuin. Right.

[John Stamos]

That he played. Yes. All right, so go back to your story.

[John O'Hurley]

Just to. Well, and so they. So Manson wanted Terry to produce him. And Terry said you were shitty and didn't like him. And so Terry, you'll like this. You have a connection to this. Terry Melcher owned the house up there.

[John Stamos]

We won't say where we were.

[John O'Hurley]

Our friend's house. Our friend's house.

[John Stamos]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[John O'Hurley]

Terry owned that.

[John Stamos]

Yes.

[John O'Hurley]

House where the murders happened.

[John Stamos]

Yes.

[John O'Hurley]

Till the day he died, he thought Manson was after him.

[John Stamos]

Oh, wow.

[John O'Hurley]

When Manson committed the murders, for a couple weeks, they didn't catch him. And the Beach Boys were doing coke and paranoid.

[John Stamos]

Manson didn't commit the murders because he was too much of a coward for that pussy.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, right.

[John Stamos]

He was such a pussy that was like, kids, Daddy's staying home tonight. There is an errand that I did have to do. If you just cover for me. I'm just not feeling great. You know that feeling, right? So, okay, you're gonna go listen to.

[John O'Hurley]

White Album real fast before you go. There's a song on there.

[John Stamos]

What is the connection there? Helter Skelter was. They thought that that was speaking to them.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. Yes.

[John Stamos]

Another amazing song. Yeah. I mean itself.

[John O'Hurley]

We were playing. So our friend Jeff Franklin owns. Built a house on that. They tore the property down, but he. He has a house there that we've been to and at the. He had a. An open house.

[John Stamos]

You know, he is the producer of the show that brought you to the attention of many zillions. Full house.

[John O'Hurley]

We put a band together and the guitar player, I can't remember who. It wasn't someone in Guns wasn't Slash for something. And he started playing, started playing Helter Skelter. And I'm like, stop. We tried to stop him, he wouldn't stop. And that was it.

[John Stamos]

But we shouldn't let that ruin the song.

[John O'Hurley]

No.

[John Stamos]

Cool song. I mean, you know, you stay so.

[John O'Hurley]

Healthy and you have control over the drinking and smoking.

[John Stamos]

Well, plainly I didn't back in the day. I. I didn't forget. I mean, if you had a real problem, I wouldn't ever say I had a real problem because it never affected my work.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right, right.

[John Stamos]

And I didn't drink every day of the week. But when I went out, when I was in that era and I was younger, it would not be uncommon to have eight drinks in a night because you would go to multiple places and at each stop, you would have a couple of drinks.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

You know, you were just full of stupid energy.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Stamos]

To go and do douchey things.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Stamos]

And that the fuel for that was liquor.

[John O'Hurley]

We were always after the girls.

[John Stamos]

Well, yeah, that's. I mean, that was part of it.

[John O'Hurley]

Right. You know, you and I never fought over girls, I don't think.

[John Stamos]

No, no, we like.

[John O'Hurley]

I.

[John Stamos]

But I. I don't remember seeing you out that much, and. But then you got married. You are married.

[John O'Hurley]

I'm married a second time.

[John Stamos]

A second time. Right. Oh, right. I was at Howie's party and there was somebody. Frank Sinatra to your Dean and Jerry. Right.

[John O'Hurley]

Frank Sinatra to. Oh, was it.

[John Stamos]

Well, remember Frank Sinatra? When Dean and Jerry didn't talk, he went on the telethon and he got right, right, right. Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, it wasn't exactly.

[John Stamos]

Who were you beefing with? Oh, Jerry. Because he married her too, of course.

[John O'Hurley]

But it was more like. It wasn't Howie, wasn't Sinatra like. It was just like if Jerry would have jumped on Dean's back, because that's how that was Jerry o'.

[John Stamos]

Connell.

[John O'Hurley]

He sort of jumped him. Hey, Johnny. I never. I met him once about 25 years ago or something. And I haven't spoken to her, so it was interesting.

[John Stamos]

Well, you've only been here 20 minutes, but I have to say it sounds like you're always beefing with someone, you Greek fuck.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, me of all people. You.

[John Stamos]

You don't beef with everybody.

[John O'Hurley]

Can you get along with everybody?

[John Stamos]

Can you get.

[John O'Hurley]

Everybody loves Bill Maher across the.

[John Stamos]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[John O'Hurley]

You know, I have. I couldn't tell my father in law what was going on here, but I didn't. I want to say too that I. You're a genius. You are my North Star for being. There was a relationship that I had that she said. She thought. She said I was stupid or said I wasn't smart enough to be around her people and stuff. And I won't say who it was, but you mentioned her a few minutes ago and I never sort of got over that. But I was like, I'm not stupid. And I really buckled down, but I was, you know, not super articulate into the political world. I didn't grow up in politics. In my family, who cares? And I learned everything from you. Good. And I stand with you.

[John Stamos]

That's great.

[John O'Hurley]

Right where you're at.

[John Stamos]

Oh, I appreciate it.

[John O'Hurley]

I read your book. I love since the beginning. You just lay it out, so simple and I'm not gonna.

[John Stamos]

Well, I appreciate that because, you know, I get nothing but shit, really. I mean, from the media, from the Hollywood establishment, awards, all that shit. It's just like. So I take a lot of shit, what I call a soft cancellation for not being woke, but still being a liberal. But that's not enough for these folks.

[John O'Hurley]

Moderate liberals.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. Old school liberal is really.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. Like my.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, yeah. But that's not enough for the Hollywood types anyway.

[John O'Hurley]

But you don't back down.

[John Stamos]

But that's. No, but I don't back down. And it means more to me that people like you Appreciate that than all that other shit. But you can't have both. I mean, I'm up for a Golden Globe this year, which is a good sign to me that were at least cracking the wokeness thing. But I don't think I'll ever win in that room because it's a. It's okay. I don't think I'm gonna go, but. Really? Yeah. I mean, I'm debating it, but people.

[John O'Hurley]

Kiss your ass when you're out. I mean, I'm sure it's.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, they do, but those people. But not. But not at the epicenter of Wokeness.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right.

[John Stamos]

You know, but it is amazing how many people do say the very similar things to what you say, and I so appreciate it because, like, I say, it's such a compensating thing. And, you know, there's fans, and I. You know, I'm too insecure about any career to not, like, appreciate every fan.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

But there are people who, like, get you on a deeper level, you know, And I could tell you are that person who, like, really get what you're doing. I do. And other people, like, they enjoy it for a number of different reasons, and I'm thrilled If they get 70% of it or 50, whatever. I mean, lots of conservatives come up to me and they go, you know, I'm not really what you are, but, you know, I appreciate what you do, and you're honest and you call it like, I see you, but.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Stamos]

It's like, we're not exactly on the same page.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

But. Okay. But I do appreciate you 100 percenters. I really do. And I can tell when someone really is one.

[John O'Hurley]

I am.

[John Stamos]

You know, I can always tell when someone's lying when they say, I watch you every night.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

Well, I'm not on every night.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right, right, right.

[John Stamos]

You must be a real fan.

[John O'Hurley]

Every Friday I came and saw you. I. A friend of mine was in town where we. You know, all we do is talk about you the next on Saturday. Like, you know, after we've seen your show, and I said, we should go, we should see Bill's filmington shooting this show tonight, and you were. Gervitz set me up down there. I came to see you.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. I mean, I feel like it's a good experience sitting in that audience, because first of all, unlike other sitcoms, you've done them, I've done they. Stop tape. This is just. You're there for an hour. I know. You know, you don't have to worry that it's going to take a long time. There's going to be a lot of boring shit in between. We start, it goes from one thing to another to another to another and we're done. And.

[John O'Hurley]

But you know what blew me the fuck away about you is like you're so like you. I can't remember who it was, but it was a, you know, pretty sharp person. And you were throwing out quotes and things and stuff and you didn't look at your notes one time. I'm like, how the fuck does he know all this and remember all this?

[John Stamos]

Well, it was probably history. I wasn't history? No, it wasn't history.

[John O'Hurley]

It was topical. It was shit that this person was talking about in the York. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I mean, well, I bet.

[John Stamos]

Why do you.

[John O'Hurley]

Do you think you have a great. I know you're super intelligent, but a lot of it's memory too.

[John Stamos]

Do you think I'm not even super intelligent? I mean, they're like IQ level. I'm sure I'm not in like the. And you know what? I don't want to be right. You know, people are they. I want to be happy.

[John O'Hurley]

You're a medium iq.

[John Stamos]

What?

[John O'Hurley]

You're a medium IQ person.

[John Stamos]

I think probably a little above medium.

[John O'Hurley]

No, he says low iq.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, exactly. Oh, of course. I mean, I love that you got. I mean, I'm not a genius, but I'm not dumb as a rock sick, insane, wacko, Very sad or a crazy man.

[John O'Hurley]

You're about three things.

[John Stamos]

I'm not a third rate comedian. I'm not still a very dumb guy. I'm not a wacky guy. I'm not totally shot. John. I don't look terrible. Exhausted, Caught in, weak. I'm not a jerk.

[John O'Hurley]

No.

[John Stamos]

My show isn't dead. No. And I'm not increasingly boring.

[John O'Hurley]

You're right, you're none of those things.

[John Stamos]

But I got a letter from him once. Really?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, he came to see me at Cabaret. I was Cabaret.

[John Stamos]

You did Cabaret on Broadway? That's right. Studio 54.

[John O'Hurley]

Were you the emcee?

[John Stamos]

Yeah. Oh, wow. What a part to get.

[John O'Hurley]

It was. It was the second show I've done on Broadway.

[John Stamos]

And what theater was it? I know Broadway, Studio 54.

[John O'Hurley]

Did you ever go there?

[John Stamos]

No, but I did a Broadway show. I got a right.

[John O'Hurley]

A Tony nomination.

[John Stamos]

A Tony nomination for that one in 2003 about the war on terror and it was on 52nd. Oh, I can't remember the name of the theater, but I can pict. It's very exciting to be in the theater district. I must say, you walk out after the show and you see there's all the other people coming out and all the other shows.

[John O'Hurley]

That's what I would say. Because, you know, like show business, everything's at different times. But in that eight block radius at 8 o', clock, everybody's being ready to be entertained and all the entertainers are ready to entertain. And right at that moment, that spark that you.

[John Stamos]

And there's lots of stars. You know, you're a star, you're on Broadway. Or you could see George Clooney or Jack Heumann, right?

[John O'Hurley]

You hang out at all after a Hugh. Jack. What did you say?

[John Stamos]

Jack Human.

[John O'Hurley]

Jack Human.

[John Stamos]

That.

[John O'Hurley]

Where were. Oh, he. So he, so he came. So I got a telegram from him. I didn't know he was there.

[John Stamos]

Telegram.

[John O'Hurley]

Back in the telegram days, whenever, wow and telegram, it said, you know, me and Milani, I thought you were great, blah, blah. And every time I saw him after, like with Howard, you know, Howard Stern's wedding or whatever, it was like you got. Wasn't my telegram the best telegram?

[John Stamos]

The other.

[John O'Hurley]

Just like he is now. I'm like, no, you know, it was, it was, it was a good telegraph. Yeah, but wasn't it the best.

[John Stamos]

It was a perfect telegram.

[John O'Hurley]

Wasn't I the only one who said no? A lot of people sent me telegrams. Thanks.

[John Stamos]

Perfect telegram. Yeah, that's.

[John O'Hurley]

It was that. I swear to God, it was.

[John Stamos]

That's. He is who he is. I mean, that is not going to change.

[John O'Hurley]

You know, they said no politics.

[John Stamos]

No, no, no, I, I agree.

[John O'Hurley]

No, I know, I know. Yeah, I guess you brought him up. You're right. I watched your Rob Rob episode yesterday.

[John Stamos]

Rob. Rob Reiner. Oh my God.

[John O'Hurley]

Not to bring it back down to that, but he was just here like a couple September.

[John Stamos]

It's always so mind bendingly weird. It's not the first time this has happened to me or any of us, certainly my age, where you're with somebody and then they die and you're like, it just your mind, it's hard to process. They were just here. Well, no, it was when the Spinal Tap, he was plugging there. But it was very recently and you know, I mean, gosh, I knew him for a long time. He did the show a lot and went out to dinner. I mean, it's just, you know, it's hard to stop, have it come into again. It was just a few days ago. Hard to have it not come into your mind a few times every day, even after, you know, a few days of it. Because it's just so shocking and horrible. I mean, you know, this guy was such a, you know, just a presence. Yes. You know, just charisma and, you know, he just was who he was. We knew him forever when kids all in the family. At least I was still a kid, you know, and all through his changes and director and, you know, they was asking me for a quote from. I gave it to the Free Press about the discussions we had in recent years were a lot about him not being able to get funding.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, because of his.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, well. And he's not the only director of a certain age who's told me that. And I just was saying this town is very ageist and very. Not very nice to people who have done amaz. I mean, he's got a pretty iconic resume of movies spread is the dramas of comedy. I remember him saying, you know, if it's not spandex and. Or, you know, it's very hard to, you know, for even somebody of his stature to get that funding. And I mean, life goes on. The generation that's probably going out to movies, they don't want to see things like that. They have a different. And that's what every generation is and deserves to do their own thing.

[John O'Hurley]

But ageism is. I mean, it's such. Oh, my God. You know, I started off the first. I did after the soap operas and Tony Geary just passed away too, on the same day. Who was right?

[John Stamos]

You were on the soap opera.

[John O'Hurley]

I was on there. And I'm old too. We're both aging out any minute.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, but they show you on tmz and all the girls always go, I can't believe how good he looks. I don't care. The girls on tmz.

[John O'Hurley]

Me, Tim.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, when they're talking. No, when they show you on tmz.

[John O'Hurley]

Why you watch tmz?

[John Stamos]

I watch every other.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, you're buddies with Harvey or something.

[John Stamos]

I love Harvey and I.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay, good.

[John Stamos]

I mean, it's, you know. Well, we don't talk about tmd. But. Yes, I. But they. When they show you. And all the girls are like, oh, I still do him. You know what? That's pretty good. All right, well, I wouldn't say it about me.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, you do fine.

[John Stamos]

No, no, they don't like me just because they're some. They're woke. Stupid.

[John O'Hurley]

So, like, you know what I was gonna say was the first show I did after there was. I worked with Jack Klugman.

[John Stamos]

Jack Klugman.

[John O'Hurley]

And he was my first mentor.

[John Stamos]

Odd Couple Quint.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

TV od. Yeah, movies. It was Walter, Matthew and Jack too. Jack Lemmon.

[John O'Hurley]

Jack. Did you ever meet Walter Matthew?

[John Stamos]

No, I. I went saw Jack Lemmon walking on the street my first week in Hollywood and I was very excited about that.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

No, but they. And then Jack Kugman and Tony Randall did it on tv. Yeah, my best one of them, Gary Marshall. Right. Wasn't that what made him. Yeah, Hollywood and Jack.

[John O'Hurley]

So I was on, I was on that show with, with Jack and he was like my first mentor. I'm saying we're talking about ageism and these older men that I gravitate towards. And Gary Marshall was on there. Jack. One of the greatest things that Jack did was he would sit me in the writer's room on Tuesday, Wednesday, whatever the punch up night was. And it was Gary Marshall, Harvey Miller, Jerry Belson, these titans of comedy. And I would sit in the corner and I just keep my mouth shut and throw shit out of me. But he would make me watch them rewrite, come up with jokes, root structure, all this stuff. And Gary was one of them. And Gary was the one who suggested me to Miller and Boyet to do Full House.

[John Stamos]

Is that right?

[John O'Hurley]

And Gary was a mentor as well.

[John Stamos]

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[John O'Hurley]

And then Gary passed away.

[John Stamos]

Do you know, I may be misremembering this, but I think I was offered the part on Full House of Saget.

[John O'Hurley]

The Saget role you might have.

[John Stamos]

Because, Jeff, I seem to remember it being a big thing. Mark Irvitz would know that. We really debated it because it was money and it was the lead on a show, but we just thought it wasn't right for me kids, me kids. But of course, Bob, that was a good decision on both parts, if that was the case. This is like 1988.

[John O'Hurley]

That's interesting.

[John Stamos]

Is that where the year went on 88?

[John O'Hurley]

No, earlier, I think.

[John Stamos]

No, I think it was because I took this other show called Hard Knocks on Showtime.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, that one.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, exactly. On Showtime.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, show. Yeah, right.

[John Stamos]

It was Jim on or something, starting a network. But it was cool. We were. We were mismatched detectives.

[John O'Hurley]

I was like, who was the other guy?

[John Stamos]

Tommy Hinckley was like a redneck detective, and I was Gower Rhodes, the hippie detective with long hair. And, you know, there was girls, and it was like, oh, this is just much more my vibe, you know?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, right, right.

[John Stamos]

And of course, it probably had an audience of 300,000 at the time.

[John O'Hurley]

Saget was the. There was another guy who. Saget wasn't available and you turned it down, I think. And so there was this guy named John Posey, did the pilot, and then Bob became available and then he came over.

[John Stamos]

Oh, you didn't do the pilot? M. That's interesting. I was on a show once where they changed the Sarah. That was a big show. On. And Sarah. It was 1985. It was my first Sarah. Geena Davis.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, interesting.

[John Stamos]

Geena Davis. It was four lawyers, produced by Gary and written by Gary Goldberg, who was the hottest at the time because of Family Ties.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

So it was Cosby. NBC's lineup. We were sandwiched between, like, Cosby and Family Ties. It was a. Or maybe after, I don't know. But it was a very good place. But Gary Goldberg, at some point had almost a fist fight with Hollywood, with Brandon Tartikoff, the head of the network, at a taping. And we knew we were dead after that. But it was Geena Davis. We were four lawyers in San Francisco. Bronson Pinchot was the gay one. Alfre Woodard was the black one. Gina Davis was the lead, and I was the office queen. I was. When it said in DV guy, the office creep. Yeah. See, I had all the funny lines.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Better to be the creep.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Office crew would be there. Yeah. You were like, uncle Handsome.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

You know, that was like, who cares?

[John O'Hurley]

What the fuck was that?

[John Stamos]

I didn't get anything funny.

[John O'Hurley]

I'd make my own shit. Jack Klugman called. You know, the show was called you'd again. And it was from a show in England called Home to Roost. And it was a son who came home and father forgot that he had him or whatever the hell. And it was like this. Yeah. And the notes kept coming back that, you know, soften up. You know, screaming at Stamos. People like him, and you're so hard on them. And he. One day he called me over to. And they had this set phone, you know, and he said, come here, come here. Give me Brandon.

[John Stamos]

Trico.

[John O'Hurley]

Brandon. You.

[John Stamos]

Boom.

[John O'Hurley]

Wow. Canceled the next day, just like you.

[John Stamos]

What you're.

[John O'Hurley]

We did a season and a half, and we were after Cosby, too. We had a great conversation. Oh, same thing.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. Don't ever. That was. You know, a lot of times kids come up to me, you know, young people want advice about show business, and they say, you know, hey, Austin Butler, can I ask you a question? No. And, like, among the lessons I would give them is, one, you always have to have someone talk for you. I don't care. That's the worst agent in the world. You can't talk for yourself. And two, don't ever think that you're important because they once canceled. They once fired somebody off. Was it Rhoda? No, it was.

[John O'Hurley]

No, it was. Yeah. The titular.

[John Stamos]

She was the titular character. And then they changed. It was like, who was it? But then they changed it to like Hogan's Family.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right, right.

[John Stamos]

And they went and same thing. Roseanne got fired off her own show. Like, you are not important and they can always get rid of you. The bus stop is full of people from Iowa who have come here to take your place.

[John O'Hurley]

That's what they used to say about the Beach Boys. Brian Wilson was fired or was out of the band. It's like nobody's more important. Like the band went on without Brian Wilson, you know?

[John Stamos]

That's right. Because you still had the song.

[John O'Hurley]

Still had the songs.

[John Stamos]

Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

And Mike Love. What?

[John Stamos]

No, you have a very funny way of like, you're almost doing Kevin Nealon subliminal character guy, you know.

[John O'Hurley]

No, I'm not. Yes, I am not. I think Kevin Neal was hitting on my wife the other day. The other day. And I thought it was funny.

[John Stamos]

Oh, you want the gloves?

[John O'Hurley]

Fucking comics.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. They're always beefing, but. So you were able to play the song, right?

[John O'Hurley]

Yes, well, yeah, of course.

[John Stamos]

Well, I mean, the songs are unbelievable. I was just actually just listening to the solo album he put out fairly recently.

[John O'Hurley]

Brian.

[John Stamos]

Yes. Which was quite good.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

You must know was. When was it?

[John O'Hurley]

He put out a lot of solo albums.

[John Stamos]

This one was good, though it must have been fairly recent because the, like some of the people who were singing on it. Nate Royce, is that. Am I. You know. Oh, he's very. His voice is on a lot of songs and he has his own stuff. Very great voice and perfect for what Brian writes. But yeah, those songs, I mean, are among God only knows. Perfect song is a perfect song. So has helped me. Rhonda.

[John O'Hurley]

Perfect song. Yeah.

[John Stamos]

And even I have some that people know that I. Well, one I can think of for sure. I think I said this to you at one of those parties. Disney Girls. I love it is such an amazing song.

[John O'Hurley]

Beautiful. So Bruce. Bruce Johnston wrote it.

[John Stamos]

Fatty Page and Summer Days. Old Cape Cod.

[John O'Hurley]

That's right.

[John Stamos]

It's a turn back world with a forever girl and the kids someday. It's just like.

[John O'Hurley]

So he sang that at my wedding. That's my favorite. My wife's favorite song. And she. She walked down to the aisle of that. To that.

[John Stamos]

That's your wife's favorite song too.

[John O'Hurley]

Disney girls.

[John Stamos]

Maybe we should be together.

[John O'Hurley]

Maybe. Yeah.

[John Stamos]

I just thought I'd get in the.

[John O'Hurley]

First place before it started. I'm with my friend Kenny Fuchs. And he said. He said, what are you guys gonna talk about? I don't know. You don't pre arrange these. They're not Jimmy Fallon, you know. And he says, you think he's gonna bring up Jerry o'? Connor? I'm like, no, he didn't give a fuck about Jerry o'. Connell. And then you did.

[John Stamos]

Oh, well, I certainly wasn't planned. Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

I mean, I think we can agree that the show does not look planned. Right?

[John O'Hurley]

Right. Right.

[John Stamos]

Okay. This is what I plan. I plan on bringing a lighter and having a joint.

[John O'Hurley]

Who's the only person who's been. Me and Ben Shapiro on here that don't drink or who else?

[John Stamos]

Oh, no.

[John O'Hurley]

I love the.

[John Stamos]

Ben Shapiro.

[John O'Hurley]

Kanye.

[John Stamos]

Kanye. Oh, no, we. We drank a lot.

[John O'Hurley]

He said, oh, was that.

[John Stamos]

We haven't shown it.

[John O'Hurley]

Right. Can you show it to me after? Yeah. Do you have it on your phone?

[John Stamos]

No, I actually want to have a screening.

[John O'Hurley]

Right. Like. Like. Like when they screen Jerry Lewis's Hitler.

[John Stamos]

Movie, the Clown that. The clown that cried.

[John O'Hurley]

Right. Did you ever see that?

[John Stamos]

No. Nobody has seen it.

[John O'Hurley]

Somebody has seen it.

[John Stamos]

Two people in the world have seen it.

[John O'Hurley]

Who, Jerry?

[John Stamos]

I don't remember who, but, like, for. If people don't know what we're talking about. Jerry Lewis, at the height of his genius, but also egomania and power, made a movie about the. Where he was a clown in a concentration camp to cheer up the kids. To cheer.

[John O'Hurley]

They went to take a shower.

[John Stamos]

But he did not want to look like he was in a concentration game. He had little slicked back, oily hair. He practically had.

[John O'Hurley]

He looked like Buddy Love.

[John Stamos]

Right. Practically had the pinky ring on in a concentration camp. And it apparently is so.

[John O'Hurley]

I know.

[John Stamos]

Megalomaniacally, crazily wrong. Terrible.

[John O'Hurley]

Somebody has it, though.

[John Stamos]

Somebody has a printable, but it's not uninteresting. I need to see it. We all need to see it.

[John O'Hurley]

We're gonna find it. Yes, I made a movie. I had this book by Arthur Marks about Martin and Lewis. And. Oh, yeah, sure, I made a TV movie about it. And Jerry was so pissed off because he was doing something with Brad Gray. They were trying to do something hbo. And he's screaming and yelling at us. And then we sent him the script, and they called and said, who wrote this guy Ellis. Was he there? How does he know? This is the best script about the two of us, and I'm behind this 100%. I couldn't get it made. And then one day, I was in a restaurant. I saw Sean Hayes. I go, jerry Lewis? I said, do you want to play Jerry Lewis? He said, yes. I saw that it was Sean and Jeremy Northam.

[John Stamos]

He's perfect.

[John O'Hurley]

Wasn't he great?

[John Stamos]

He was perfect.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. And so Jerry.

[John Stamos]

But he was movie is that. I want to watch that again.

[John O'Hurley]

It's called Martin Lewis. It was, it's not, it's hard to find Dean. Jeremy Northam. Oh, it was very good.

[John Stamos]

Yes.

[John O'Hurley]

He said the hands and the whole thing. Really interesting. But Jerry was pissed at me because I was a guest on the Howard Stern show, so he wouldn't talk to me. But Sean flew up there to Vegas and spent time with him.

[John Stamos]

Another person who hates me.

[John O'Hurley]

Did you.

[John Stamos]

You are the most unlikable guy.

[John O'Hurley]

I'm the most hated.

[John Stamos]

Seem having such a good time here. But like, you just.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, when I get out that door.

[John Stamos]

I was going to say you're very Trumpian in that way. You're very nice in person.

[John O'Hurley]

I know. He was so funny to you.

[John Stamos]

I heard he was, he was. Well, he wasn't funny, but he laughed.

[John O'Hurley]

He laughed at your jokes.

[John Stamos]

He, he, I don't want, we don't want to get into politics. All I'm saying is he was extremely different. Maybe I'm the Trump whisperer, but I think, I think we would do a lot better to have more people like me talk to him. He is not against talking to people. Yeah, no, he's a, he's a guy from New York. Okay. He doesn't want to be with a bunch of fucking rednecks and simpletons. You know, I mean, he's. Does he like ass kissers? Yes, he does. So there's always gonna be a couple of them around. But I think he. Anyway, let's not go there.

[John O'Hurley]

You brought it up.

[John Stamos]

No, I didn't. Did I?

[John O'Hurley]

I don't. But we've both been bringing it up. Trumpian.

[John Stamos]

You know, it is hard. It is a phenomenon we have never seen before. Right. That one person would dominate every. For over a decade.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

You know, but, but, and I do think you have to fight that. Like I say, if that's your whole personality is the first thing out of your mouth is, what are we going to do about Donald Trump? I just, I just can't, you know, I, I, I can't. And I, and you know, if. First of all, I can't.

[John O'Hurley]

First of all, you don't have the answer.

[John Stamos]

I don't have the answer. Exactly. Somebody.

[John O'Hurley]

But people think you do. I, I would get it. I would get it.

[John Stamos]

I can't, can't get away from these people who like walking through a room that. I was at a party Saturday night. Awesome party. Seth MacFarlane. Oh, yeah. Gibson. Amazing.

[John O'Hurley]

He loves us.

[John Stamos]

Christmas party.

[John O'Hurley]

What did he sing?

[John Stamos]

He had an orchestra with an orca.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Orchestra. Is.

[John O'Hurley]

Is that him? Is that Seth back there? One of those. That thing is so cool. I almost bought one of those. Oh, does it work?

[John Stamos]

It does. It's creepy as it is.

[John O'Hurley]

You see them, Seth? Yeah, I've seen them. They kind of.

[John Stamos]

Right.

[John O'Hurley]

They used to have one of the.

[John Stamos]

Ivy, but the way they're paint painted, it's very. The shining.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, yeah, right. Yeah.

[John Stamos]

You know. Yeah, it's. I don't.

[John O'Hurley]

There's no black people in that band.

[John Stamos]

They're Cubans.

[John O'Hurley]

If they are. Okay.

[John Stamos]

I think they all are.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, that makes sense. That makes sense.

[John Stamos]

And look at that. Look at that. Doesn't this guy look exactly like Kanye?

[John O'Hurley]

A little bit, Yeah. A little. Okay. Yeah, a lot. Look, if we can't get along here. See, look at all the years we missed being friends. Because, you know, I know that's happened.

[John Stamos]

With a number of people who've sat here, but, you know, as I always say, everything happens.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

I mean, we gotta. It's. Sometimes it's just not destined. It's like George used to always say about Ringo, he was always meant to be in the Beatles. He just didn't enter until like, act three.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right.

[John Stamos]

You know, but it was destined. It's like, yeah, that's it.

[John O'Hurley]

I mean, did you have. You have McCartney? Have you interviewed McCartney?

[John Stamos]

I would love to. I hung out with him, like, this one night at the woods, the pot store that Woody Harrelson and I are running into the ground. And he was super nice. Have you ever.

[John O'Hurley]

I met him a couple times.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. I mean, he couldn't have been more what you would want.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right.

[John Stamos]

That's Beatle to be. I said to him, I said, besides the music, one thing I really love about you guys was that none of you ever did anything that made the fans go, yeah, right, right.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, right, right.

[John Stamos]

It's like so many people.

[John O'Hurley]

But I think because they only had exactly 10 years, right? Like the Beach Boys. If they would have stopped at 10 years, they would have been closer to the Beatles, I think. You know, they went on and on, you know, and on and on.

[John Stamos]

Not by numbers. You know, the reason I love the old ipod is because one reason is that it helps me with numbers. Simple numbers. Like, I don't keep anything in there that I don't really want. Never. I've never once, like, loaded the whole album.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

I picked the ones I want. Now, there are a few great albums in the world where you want every song on them, but they're pretty rare.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Stamos]

So the number of Beatles songs and the number of Beach Boy songs that I. For you, of course. But it's my ipod. Exactly.

[John O'Hurley]

For me, well, if you look at my ipod, it's different.

[John Stamos]

Okay. But I would say. Not that it matters.

[John O'Hurley]

What I'm saying is the Beach Boys did a lot of shit after, you know, 10 years. You know what I mean?

[John Stamos]

And they jumped on during it.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

And so did the Beatles.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Stamos]

Nobody gets through this without doing some shit. Yeah, I mean, I don't have every Beatles song in there.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right. You know, but they both were solid. Those were the greatest 10, you know, I'm just saying, the Beach Boys went.

[John Stamos]

On with a lot of.

[John O'Hurley]

They jumped in on that disco shed and they, you know.

[John Stamos]

I'll give you this, Joe.

[John O'Hurley]

Go ahead, Bill.

[John Stamos]

I would say the best 20 beach boy songs.

[John O'Hurley]

Yes.

[John Stamos]

Are as good as the best Beatle 20 songs.

[John O'Hurley]

That's huge.

[John Stamos]

That is huge.

[John O'Hurley]

For you to say.

[John Stamos]

For me to say. But the Beatles just have an additional, like 150 songs that are the additional 150.

[John O'Hurley]

That's an additional plus.

[John Stamos]

And if you add in the solo work, McCartney alone.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's. You're right.

[John Stamos]

John didn't do a lot, but I mean, you know, there's like 20 good ones. George had a pretty, you know, not just all things must pass, but he had a great one in 1987. He hadn't done one in 10 years or eight years or something. He had some shitty ones, too. There's one he did where he was sick and, you know, the name of his label was Dark Horse. And of course the review spelled it Dark Horse. H O A R S E. Because he had no voice and he still went on tour. Right.

[John O'Hurley]

That's fucked up.

[John Stamos]

Whereas today these artists. Artists, yes, they are artists. I'm not saying they're not good, but like, if they just have a bad day, they cancel the concert. These fucking Gen Z, little Nepo baby or whatever the fuck they are too cold.

[John O'Hurley]

Cuz these girls are wearing nothing. You noticed?

[John Stamos]

Well, yeah. I mean. You mean like making music? I mean, we've done. We've done that for a long time where we want to mix sex in with the music. Yeah, yeah. I mean M music. The reason why comics are jealous of musicians is because, you know, all the girls. Well, it goes right to the. Whereas we got to go through their brain. But you know what? In the long run, that's good. It's better because it filters out more Authentic. It filters out people who you are not really going to vibe with.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

You know, now this is not something I would have said when I was 30 because I, you know, but I looking back, that is, my assessment is like, it actually saves you because. Well, because yeah, a girl is not gonna like you unless it's for something a little deeper than just the baseline, you know, I mean, you can sit on the bass and have the amp where the bass is playing and have an orgasm, but you're not as I'm sure you have.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, but you don't want a long term. You don't want anybody. Did you want. Do you want some of substance?

[John Stamos]

I know you know what I want. You're basing it on that fight we had 30 years ago.

[John O'Hurley]

What do you care?

[John Stamos]

I'm very happy right now.

[John O'Hurley]

That's good. You know, I really believe you are. Some people bullshit it.

[John Stamos]

No, no, no. But you know, I played. I played the bat the game of the Bachelor for a very long time and I gave out a lot of roses. But you know, there was a winner who. Oh, that's not bad. Go into my personal life.

[John O'Hurley]

You had a long term.

[John Stamos]

That's not even. Come on. I said what I said.

[John O'Hurley]

My friend who's here directs the Bachelor. You're talking about giving out roses?

[John Stamos]

Really? Yeah. Come on.

[John O'Hurley]

Yes.

[John Stamos]

Who's your friend?

[John O'Hurley]

Ken Fuchs.

[John Stamos]

Can you tell him for me?

[John O'Hurley]

He's listening.

[John Stamos]

Okay. Okay. I have a great idea for the Bachelor.

[John O'Hurley]

What is it?

[John Stamos]

You know they do the Golden Bachelor.

[John O'Hurley]

Yes.

[John Stamos]

I am the correct age.

[John O'Hurley]

You want to be on the Golden Bachelor?

[John Stamos]

Could I finish?

[John O'Hurley]

Go ahead. It's your show.

[John Stamos]

I want to be the Golden Bachelor.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

But none of this age appropriate.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, you want to have the younger what?

[John Stamos]

I would actually. Right.

[John O'Hurley]

All right.

[John Stamos]

That's a funny show.

[John O'Hurley]

That's a good show.

[John Stamos]

That's a great fucking show.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, that's a good show.

[John Stamos]

Now some of these girls will leave crying. No, they will, because I'm gonna be real with them. Not mean, just real. I'm gonna fucking straighten out their lives as I have so many 20 year old girls, ish girls in my real life.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

I'm very good at it. I was never meant to be Sir Lancelot. I'm the king. I'm the old dude who sits back and says, well, did you ever see Camelot?

[John O'Hurley]

Yes. Richard Burton.

[John Stamos]

Richard Burton.

[John O'Hurley]

I mean, but I know, I saw it with Richard. I saw it in pet pent.

[John Stamos]

You're such a good looking son of a bitch.

[John O'Hurley]

You could play brave.

[John Stamos]

Shiny Moment you could almost play. There was Club Random Lancelot.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. Too old.

[John Stamos]

Yes, a little. But it's a. But it's a tribute to your Greek genes that you could almost play Lancelot. And you're. But, you know, you could. I mean, Robert Goulet, that's who I.

[John O'Hurley]

Saw do it at the Pantages.

[John Stamos]

Of course, he was Camelot. He was Sir Lancelot on Broadway. When it was first on Broadway. It was such a Sensation. This is 1960. I mean, Robert Goulet is the singer who, when I was a kid, wet in my mother's panties. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. He was like the screen crush my mother had. You know, Robert Gulay and. Yeah, Robert Goulet. Remember Will Ferrell used to remember that on snl.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, yeah. That's what I was trying to think of. And I think they did it on sctv, too. And somebody did it on.

[John Stamos]

Was a friend of mine later when he really. Absolutely. I used the fact that he was a fan to once bring my mother to Las Vegas to meet him, go to his house and have dinner with him. Wow.

[John O'Hurley]

Is your mom still around?

[John Stamos]

No, not to my knowledge.

[John O'Hurley]

Did she get. She died just to get rid of you. Tell him I'm dead. This is. Yeah, this is like Mother, this.

[John Stamos]

You know what's weird? She's still around, but she won't talk to me because I had dinner with Trump.

[John O'Hurley]

Did she see your success?

[John Stamos]

To a degree. Political Inc. Oh, definitely saw that. She died in two. Yes. I was on Real Time for four years when she died, so she saw a lot of it.

[John O'Hurley]

And your dad? Your father.

[John Stamos]

No, he died right before I got Politically Incorrect. Oh, okay. You know, which is your stand up.

[John O'Hurley]

And did he go see your stand up?

[John Stamos]

I remember them once seeing me at Caroline's. I was not good. Well, I mean, I was as good as I could be at that point in my career. So, you know, like, laughter is an involuntary response. Yeah, involuntary. Okay. So when you see your parents not laughing, you know, you have some work to do in the industry, you know what I'm saying? You know, like, not that I didn't.

[John O'Hurley]

But they were supportive, of course.

[John Stamos]

I mean, I didn't want them there. I don't know why. I guess it had just gotten to the point where, like, what are you doing, son? You know? Cause I was not the kind who ever, like, imposed. I like. I always made my own money.

[John O'Hurley]

I know. That's why we're not. We haven't been friends.

[John Stamos]

Why?

[John O'Hurley]

Didn't want to pose?

[John Stamos]

No, sorry. Go.

[John O'Hurley]

You made Your own money?

[John Stamos]

No, I'm a lone wolf.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, you know, but you made your own, so. Right. So they. So. But your mom saw your success. That's good.

[John Stamos]

Well, yeah, she did. But of course, mothers are different. They just don't. I remember once I was staying at this very fancy hotel. She always used to ask me where I'm staying on the road. And I said, yeah, they gave me the presidential suite. And she said, why?

[John O'Hurley]

Come on, Mom.

[John Stamos]

And I said, well, you know, I'm kind of a big shot now. And she said, oh, yeah, I forget because I remember holding your little hand.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[John Stamos]

It is.

[John O'Hurley]

I'm glad she saw. I always get so upset.

[John Stamos]

But you have that experience now. Don't you have little kids?

[John O'Hurley]

I have a 7 year old. But wait, I gotta get back to Golden Bachelor and the Clock.

[John Stamos]

Such a great idea.

[John O'Hurley]

What are you gonna call it? The Golden What?

[John Stamos]

Called it. I don't.

[John O'Hurley]

Daddy issues. Golden Bachelor, Daddy issues. What do you say?

[John Stamos]

Daddy problem solving. Oh, not issues.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, they got to have the issue for you to solve the problem.

[John Stamos]

I will.

[John O'Hurley]

You ever have somebody when I. I.

[John Stamos]

Will solve their problem.

[John O'Hurley]

My wife's a little younger, but people say, what do you talk about with these young girls? Who gives a. I'll talk to you about all in the family. I don't need to talk to the girl. Anyway, so how do you fix these?

[John Stamos]

There's a movie called Under Suspicion with. Why did you look like that?

[John O'Hurley]

Because I was trying to look suspicious.

[John Stamos]

I don't know. With Morgan Freeman.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

And Gene Hackman.

[John O'Hurley]

Any record, sign, adventure.

[John Stamos]

Oh, oh, so great. Gene Hackman. Yeah. Yes.

[John O'Hurley]

I worked with Ernie Borgnine on er. That was pretty good.

[John Stamos]

Ernie Borgnine.

[John O'Hurley]

Sorry, we're jumping around. Golden, the movie you were talking about is Under Suspicion.

[John Stamos]

Oh, yeah. Apropos to what you were saying about what do you talk about? And he has. Gene Hackman is this rich guy and it takes place in San Juan. I'm not sure why. And Morgan Freeman is the police chief.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

And they're friends, you know, Gene Hackman's a prominent citizen, but then these young Puerto Rican girls start turning up dead.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

And Gene Hackman, who has a loveless marriage to Monica Bellucci.

[John O'Hurley]

Wow.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, but she's cold as ice, you know? So he likes. It's kind of the rumor. He likes to be with younger women.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

Very young, but still not children, you know? Okay. I'm not saying they'd make this movie today.

[John O'Hurley]

No.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. So he is. When they start turning up dead, he is under Suspicion.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

All right. So there's this scene where he's being interrogated by Morgan Freeman, and he gives this awesome monologue where he's like, you know, you think I did this? And he says, you know, Victor, you're twice divorced, you're single with a vengeance. Where do you go every Friday night? You go to the martini bar, and who do you talk to? The prettiest girl you can find, that's who. And she's not 50, probably mid-30s. But if he can find one in her 20s, hey, why not? What about young girls? We like them. Then what changed? People say to me, what do you see in these young girls? What do you talk about? Hey, if I wanted to talk about the S&P 500, I'd call my broker. Young girls don't talk. They laugh. They're in the moment. And every night is the night. And their skin is smooth and hard, like skin is supposed to be. And saying so doesn't make me a pervert. Not that I've memorized the speech.

[John O'Hurley]

I was gonna say. You've said that before.

[John Stamos]

I only.

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[John O'Hurley]

Close your eyes. Exhale.

[John Stamos]

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[John O'Hurley]

Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe.

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[John O'Hurley]

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[John O'Hurley]

I got a message that our flight was canceled, but they can't input us.

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On another flight, and we just need to confirm our credit card info.

[John Stamos]

Wait.

[Commercial Announcer]

I got a security alert from McAfee.

[John O'Hurley]

It flagged that message as a scam.

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[John Stamos]

I can watch a movie if I like a movie twice. And I can. And I like. I can do ones from the Godfather. Wow.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, I'm sure. Drink, Leave the canoli and thing.

[John Stamos]

That's one line I can do the whole speech from.

[John O'Hurley]

I think I've seen you do that somewhere.

[John Stamos]

Is it all the wind?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, but that. That one in particular makes sense.

[John Stamos]

Well, it was apropod.

[John O'Hurley]

You could start the the Bachelor Daddy issue show with that. Like, just dramatic. Yeah, just a Dr. Like a Ken. Get the right lighting. Like, put him in shadow, you know, half of his face. Did you do that speech on your.

[John Stamos]

I've never done that speech. I've never done it. It's not done. I just remember things. You want me to do the one Goosebumps when. With the horse's head. Dude.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

You know. You know the scene?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

In the Godfather. Are you a Godfather fan?

[John O'Hurley]

Yes.

[John Stamos]

Okay. I'm probably fuck it up now, but they're at dinner, right?

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, yeah.

[John Stamos]

I sing that. Tom, you're out.

[John O'Hurley]

Tom. I jumped to the ending. Sorry.

[John Stamos]

That's not even the same movie.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, it's okay.

[John Stamos]

Godfather, too.

[John O'Hurley]

That's right. I just liked it. Sorry. They're in the thing, and it's like, you're not going to get that part, Tom.

[John Stamos]

Ask me anything else.

[John O'Hurley]

All right.

[John Stamos]

And Tom is like, well, Mr. Groglioni is a man who never asked a second favor when a first has been refused. Understand? You don't understand. Johnny Fontaine never gets that movie. He's perfect for it.

[John O'Hurley]

Right?

[John Stamos]

And make him a big star. But I'm going to run him out of town, and I'll tell you why. Johnny Fontaine ruined one of Walt's International's most valuable proteges. I enter under a contract. We spent hundreds of thousands of dollars. Singing lessons, dancing lessons, acting lessons. Then Johnny Fontaine comes along with his olive oil voice and his guinea chop. And she ran away with them just to make me look ridiculous. And A man in my position can't afford to look ridiculous. And just to show you it's not all dollars and cents that I'm not a hard hearted man. She was young, she was beautiful, she was innocent. She was the best piece of ass I've ever had. And I've had them all over the world. Now you get the hell out of here. And if that goomba tries any rough stuff, you tell them I ain't no band leader. Yeah, yeah, I heard that story. I'm telling you, I.

[John O'Hurley]

And then he put his hat on Tom and just.

[John Stamos]

And then Tom goes. Thank you for a lovely evening. If your. If your car can take me to the airport. Mr. Coleon is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, right.

[John Stamos]

I don't know. People have weird bar trick skills, but.

[John O'Hurley]

You have a great memory.

[John Stamos]

I think some people I don't, but for that I do. I don't remember our fight.

[John O'Hurley]

Right. Because you lost.

[John Stamos]

Because I lost.

[John O'Hurley]

And you had. There was a producer you used to have on that show, an older lady. Well, you know, 60, maybe 50s.

[John Stamos]

On what show? On.

[John O'Hurley]

On the show back. Politically Incorrect.

[John Stamos]

Really?

[John O'Hurley]

Yes. And she tried to patch us up, but I said. I said, Johnny Fontaine doesn't. You know. That's all I can remember. What you just did the Golden Bachelor. So you would it. I think we can do it.

[John Stamos]

Oh, is there an age limit to the girl?

[John O'Hurley]

Girls?

[John Stamos]

Well, you know what? They should. Every other, like, dating show on tv. Okay. Is just as sexist in the other way. You're not going to find on Temptation island anyone over 30. Right, right. They're all going to be like 22 to 32, shall we say? So. Fine, do that.

[John O'Hurley]

Do you watch this?

[John Stamos]

I used to love Temptation Island.

[John O'Hurley]

Really?

[John Stamos]

Yes. That was my guilty pleasure.

[John O'Hurley]

I lost all respect for you. I mean, I was so.

[John Stamos]

I don't blame you.

[John O'Hurley]

Kidding.

[John Stamos]

But you never saw it. No Temptation Island.

[John O'Hurley]

No Temptation Island.

[John Stamos]

Do you know the premise?

[John O'Hurley]

They're on an island.

[John Stamos]

Yes.

[John O'Hurley]

I love you, Bill. You know, I don't know why we didn't. We spent 22 years avoiding each other at parties.

[John Stamos]

I wasn't avoiding. You get a little bit. I know. I just don't. I just don't. No, no, because I don't remember the.

[John O'Hurley]

Funny, like, hey, John, Bill. John. You guys know each other?

[John Stamos]

Really?

[John O'Hurley]

We got a close up on the camera.

[John Stamos]

Well, I apologize.

[John O'Hurley]

But you always had girls that wanted to say hi. Really? Yeah, sometimes.

[John Stamos]

Oh, come on.

[John O'Hurley]

You didn't have a. You just had a girl the other day. I saw You. She said, I gotta say hi to Johnson.

[John Stamos]

She was not a girlfriend. No, that was not.

[John O'Hurley]

But I'm. My point to all this was that you're really charming and funny and. And, well, you're not as you're. You know, you can be. You come off as very, you know, serious. Serious? Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Well, it's a comedy show.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh.

[John Stamos]

So.

[John O'Hurley]

No, but I mean, you're.

[John Stamos]

I mean, I know Jimmy. Like, sure.

[John O'Hurley]

Like, there's the show, and I watch the show.

[John Stamos]

We talk about weighty topics, and here we're not talking about weighty topics.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

I mean, sometimes we wander into a weighty topic. But, you know, the point of this show is that it is exactly what we would be doing if there were no cameras and it wasn't a show. I mean, there's no agenda. I don't have a series of questions. Right. There is zero difference. And I feel like this is what differentiates us from all the other podcasts, which are really just talk shows. They have questions, sometimes they see them in their hand.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

You know, and that's okay. But that's just what TV I grew up on.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, me too.

[John Stamos]

This is something different. This is just like, no, let's get high or drunk or neither or both or whatever you want, but just have the exact conversation we would. Cause, like, when I go to dinner, if we go to dinner, I'm not gonna, like, bring a series of questions.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right, right.

[John Stamos]

We're just gonna bullshit.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

And we'll st some great stuff because we're both interesting guys of a certain age, which really helps, you know, because.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right. We can talk about.

[John Stamos]

Well, you just have more experiences and more knowledge and more things. Right. You know, I mean, and of course, there are kids out there who'll be like, why are they still talking about Billy Joel?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. Right.

[John Stamos]

Because, like, even though we haven't really haven't talked about him that much.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

And we should.

[John O'Hurley]

All right.

[John Stamos]

Because we love him and that's what brought us together.

[John O'Hurley]

That's right.

[John Stamos]

That's what brought. You wrote me such a. A wonderful email about that, and I'm so glad you like that show.

[John O'Hurley]

Good things and people that inspire me. I like, I try to write to them. Or, like, on Instagram, which you're not on, but you could just DM somebody, which I do all the time, and I say, you're on a fan, and you're. Yeah, I've met a lot of great, you know, people. The Beach Boys were looking for a new drummer. I found them on Instagram.

[John Stamos]

Is that Right. That's right. You also are a drummer. I remember seeing you do that at Jeff's house.

[John O'Hurley]

That's my main thing thing. It's drums. Oh, you'd love that. No, I'm not a. I'm a crappy guitar player.

[John Stamos]

Really? But, yeah, I've seen you play it with Beach Boys.

[John O'Hurley]

I play drums with the Beach Boys.

[John Stamos]

I've seen you play guitar with them.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, you weren't looking close enough because I mostly play drums with them.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, at one time you were. I was outside.

[John O'Hurley]

I did play. Yes. Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Okay.

[John O'Hurley]

But mainly I'm a drummer. I just kind of hacked the guitar.

[John Stamos]

But you. I did see you do that, so maybe it's you who misremembers things.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, yeah, it is. Maybe I should start. What do you got? Give me something. No, I play drums, and I've got to play it with some of the coolest people I know you love. You have Fogarty on here, right?

[John Stamos]

Yeah, sure.

[John O'Hurley]

He was. He's a friend of mine.

[John Stamos]

Oh, really?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Creedence Clearwater Revival.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, I remember that.

[John Stamos]

No, no, I'm just helping the audience.

[John O'Hurley]

Ccr. No, he was his Proud Mary friend of mine, worked at. Do you remember Santa Pietro's up there on.

[John Stamos]

No, no, totally remember the. Glenn. I remember the guy.

[John O'Hurley]

Samp George married Vana White.

[John Stamos]

Vanna White?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. Vanna White? Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Who's V. White?

[John O'Hurley]

Bet I said Vanna White.

[John Stamos]

Okay. Vanna White. Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

Saget used to live near here. Near. Near her. And he used to listen to her have sex.

[John Stamos]

What?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Seriously?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, yeah. Through the wife. I think Kuy would come over and maybe Mike Binder, whoever they would listen to getting, you know.

[John Stamos]

Railed.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, railed.

[John Stamos]

At the restaurant?

[John O'Hurley]

No, no, at her apartment. They lived near each other before she was, I think, famous. You were talking about losing Rob in a blink of an eye. Saget was like that. I mean, one day you're talking to her.

[John Stamos]

Another one. Yeah, I know.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

It's. We get to these ages, you know, I mean, I'm 70, basically, in a month.

[John O'Hurley]

That's incredible.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, it's incredible when you think about how many. You know, not to beg a term from Taylor Swift, but eras you've lived through because, you know, it's a clever name for a tour and a concept, and she's not even that old. But we do live through eras.

[John O'Hurley]

Yes, right.

[John Stamos]

You know, when we were fighting each other. It's like a completely different era of a completely different version of the person you are that. Yeah. Completely.

[John O'Hurley]

Going to night clubs and. Yeah. Terrible.

[John Stamos]

Just the fact that we were there speaks of how different.

[John O'Hurley]

Trying to get into the VIP thing and. Yeah, the Beach Boys. It's been 40 years. 85 was the first time I played with them.

[John Stamos]

40 years for you?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, the first time I played with them. You like this. Wait. I didn't finish the Fogarty story, so I became friends with him. He invited me to his 50th birthday. He said, stamos, come sit in. Was playing some Creedence stuff. And then he. And it was in his living room.

[John Stamos]

Name some of the songs just for people who don't remember.

[John O'Hurley]

Credence, Dance, Susie Q, Proud Mary.

[John Stamos]

That's not one of their great ones. Proud Mary Green. Up around the Bend Bad Moon Rising.

[John O'Hurley]

Green river down on the corner down.

[John Stamos]

On the corner Long as I can see the light who will ever see.

[John O'Hurley]

Who stopped the rain who will stop.

[John Stamos]

The Rainy song the 11 minute heard it through the grave they fine.

[John O'Hurley]

How about. They were at night hour?

[John Stamos]

They were tight.

[John O'Hurley]

You did? Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Down on the corner, down the corner. Come on, man.

[John O'Hurley]

Drummer says, so I go sit in, play a couple songs. Fogarty said, it's a room like this, maybe 50, like his cousins, and nobody.

[John Stamos]

Right.

[John O'Hurley]

John gets on the mic, goes, bruce. I get the out of here. Springsteen.

[John Stamos]

Bruce Springsteen.

[John O'Hurley]

Springsteen. Stamos forwarding played for about 45 minutes.

[John Stamos]

Just.

[John O'Hurley]

Wow. Bruce is calling up songs anyway.

[John Stamos]

All Creedon songs.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, he didn't want to play any Bruce, so he. He played one song called Detail. Man. I know. We just. Just followed along Midnight Hour, too. They sang. But that was my point, was that I'm a drummer. First time I played with the Beach Boys.

[John Stamos]

Okay.

[John O'Hurley]

Was in 85 at the Washington Monument before Kokomo. Before Kokomo was 88. Played on that.

[John Stamos]

Kokomo was their comeback song.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. Number one.

[John Stamos]

Number one. Yes.

[John O'Hurley]

In that video and stuff.

[John Stamos]

Yes.

[John O'Hurley]

You'll like the story. I get to. I get to D.C. and my friend says, come on. I gotta go teach Jimmy who the songs. Jimmy who? Door's on. Jimmy Page.

[John Stamos]

Comes out Led Zeppelin.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, yeah. Are we too old? Should we talk about Taylor Swift's.

[John Stamos]

I'm just helping.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

I may look like a drunk and a pothead, but I actually know what's your show?

[John O'Hurley]

You know what? You know how to host.

[John Stamos]

I know.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. He comes out like a slinky. And my friend says, what?

[John Stamos]

He was wasted a little bit?

[John O'Hurley]

Well, he had a. He had like, a bottle of Jack Daniels. And I said, do you have a light beer, Mr. Page.

[John Stamos]

Jimmy Page.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

I didn't ever know if he was that guy.

[John O'Hurley]

He was then.

[John Stamos]

Okay, I'm sure he was. But, you know, you think about Keith doing that and people like that. I didn't. And, I mean, I just didn't have that impression of Jimmy Page. Really? No, I mean, I really don't know what he did, except put, like, a shark up a girl's pussy in a hotel room.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, right.

[John Stamos]

You heard that story?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. And how come he didn't get in trouble?

[John Stamos]

I mean, first of all, we don't know if that's what happened.

[John O'Hurley]

We don't know if it was a shark. It could have been.

[John Stamos]

We don't know it was a shark, which would be perfectly acceptable.

[John O'Hurley]

You know what's good about it?

[John Stamos]

I mean, if it's a freshwater fish.

[John O'Hurley]

You know how some comics don't laugh? Laugh at other people?

[John Stamos]

Hate them.

[John O'Hurley]

You're not that. That's.

[John Stamos]

Who wouldn't want to laugh?

[John O'Hurley]

Well, some comics don't think, oh, I know.

[John Stamos]

People are. I don't know them.

[John O'Hurley]

Joe, some of your friends.

[John Stamos]

Trust me, I.

[John O'Hurley]

Who all these people.

[John Stamos]

I know. I. He laughs. He's a great laughter.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Seinfeld. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the best.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

A laugher, right?

[John O'Hurley]

Who isn't?

[John Stamos]

I'm not gonna say who isn't. But I. But I appreciate your point, and I take your point, because I love laughing and I love being a good laugher.

[John O'Hurley]

You do.

[John Stamos]

And it's. And. And the thing with me, I think that really adds a little Arsenio half to it. A little half to it is that I'm known as not a panderer. So, like, if I do laugh, you know, it's actually real. You know, I'm not. You know, there are hosts. We won't name them all. Who do that. I do not. Like, I can't. I just can't lie. So, like, when you get a laugh from me, it's real.

[John O'Hurley]

All right, so we'll get a laugh from the. The booth back there. That's.

[John Stamos]

There's no booth. It's just us here.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, yeah, sorry. Club Random.

[John Stamos]

Club Random. It's just us. Do you see any cameras or people or any mics? It's just us.

[John O'Hurley]

Hey, baby, why are we in your Jacuzzi? You know, we go on the Jacuzzi after.

[John Stamos]

That's probably what the fight was about. I wouldn't.

[John O'Hurley]

You wouldn't you?

[John Stamos]

Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

You know, Bill Maher wouldn't fuck me. I'm gonna fight him. Yeah, I'm sure.

[John Stamos]

Gay guys hit on you. You seem like the kind of guy Gay guys would hit on. And I mean that as a. As a. I mean that as a compliment.

[John O'Hurley]

I did do cabaret and, you know.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. But I mean, just in general, there are gay guys who. I won't. There's one giant movie star who is not technically out of the closet. Although it's like the worst kept secret ever. Well, no, I'm not gonna say it.

[John O'Hurley]

George Clooney.

[John Stamos]

No, no, no, not him.

[John O'Hurley]

But it seemed game. He was so.

[John Stamos]

He was.

[John O'Hurley]

So if he's not gay, he's blowing guys for no reason. I'm kidding, George. I know you.

[John Stamos]

Oh, that's a good one.

[John O'Hurley]

Did you laugh this much with Kanye?

[John Stamos]

No, but that's a great joke. Blowing guys for no reason. I'm gonna tell Jeff Franklin he should put you on the writing staff.

[John O'Hurley]

But I wrote some stuff on him.

[John Stamos]

But no, when I'm this person, like, so good looking and so, you know, charismatic and famous and star power. That his thing was always. I mean, I hear. When I'm getting fisted, I hear.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

Just at my bathhouse. Right. I hear.

[John O'Hurley]

Oh, I know what you're talking about.

[John Stamos]

That he. That. Yes. That he. And there are gay men like this who like feeling themselves so much that they're like. They're not really concerned whether you think you're still straight. They want to turn you.

[John O'Hurley]

Yes.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. Right, right. They want to take a straight guy. And that's a challenge.

[John O'Hurley]

Right. I've had a couple of those. One in particular, who. And it's just like, I'm not. I'm not married. You came to, you know, you hang out with me and my. You know, it's. What do you. I keep trying, keep. They're just waiting for that one moment.

[John Stamos]

Of like, okay, if there are two words that mean less in Hollywood than I'm married.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

You'll have to tell them what they are because I'm married. Means nothing in this town. I've heard this from every woman here. Like married men in this town. Absolutely. Give it no quarter. It just doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't just. No, I'm just saying the marriage is not something that prevents them from hitting on women.

[John O'Hurley]

Right. But there's a vibe that some people put out that they maybe shouldn't if they're. If they're married. Right.

[John Stamos]

Yes. Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

Let's go back to the gay guy. I think I know who you're talking about.

[John Stamos]

Well, let's. Okay, I'm sure you do, but I had a.

[John O'Hurley]

Like a condition.

[John Stamos]

But I'm just saying, I think gay men hit on you.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, but I'm very gay, you know, like I'm, you know, a friend of the gays, as they say.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, well, we're all friends of the gays.

[John O'Hurley]

Not all of us.

[John Stamos]

No. But again, this is one of those woke things.

[John O'Hurley]

Like, you had Chuck on here, the guy who played Chuck.

[John Stamos]

Stop pretending. We live in America where it's just a nightmare to be gay. I mean, there was a time and it's not now. Can you find pockets of places where I guess they look at you? Crazy, man. That guy's, you know. Okay, but don't go there and you know, is it wrong? Yes. Should we fix it? Yes. But in the meantime, it's gotten better. It's just not like a problem to be gay in America. Mostly where gay people live and interact. And also look at the polling. Even Republicans have come around. They're pro gay marriage. You know, it's just not what it was.

[John O'Hurley]

I've officiated two weddings and both were gay.

[John Stamos]

Really?

[John O'Hurley]

So doesn't that make me great? Well, you. Rob Reiner was saying that.

[John Stamos]

Well, that's probably how they're trying to get at you.

[John O'Hurley]

Will you marry us?

[John Stamos]

You know, you perform the ceremony. You're in kind of a gay mood.

[John O'Hurley]

It's a wedding. Weddings are fabric.

[John Stamos]

I mean, everyone is a little susceptible at a wedding. So Stamos, he's got the gay glow right now. If you're ever gonna get him, do.

[John O'Hurley]

It all the time. Take that robe off.

[John Stamos]

So I love the way you think it's your. You're so adorable. You think it's your responsibility to carry my stoned ass. Like, you're always like, what next? And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna light the job.

[John O'Hurley]

I know.

[John Stamos]

It shows your kindness. You know, you're like, oh, I gotta like, step in here. No, we can just.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay, we can just do.

[John Stamos]

Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

Tom Hanks.

[John Stamos]

No, my thoughts. What is that, your Larry King impression?

[John O'Hurley]

Tom Hank. No, get you Larry King.

[John Stamos]

I love him, but, boy, he just talk about somebody who didn't prepare well. That was his whole thing was like, I want to be like the person watching the show who doesn't know anything. So I'm going to find out.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

But you know, he just like to. I love him, but, like, he.

[John O'Hurley]

He was your id, One of your idols.

[John Stamos]

No, no, not at all. I love.

[John O'Hurley]

Didn't you do something? His last thing or something? Didn't you have something?

[John Stamos]

Oh, I did like 10 tributes to him, but he was always getting a tribute because again, he was like, al Gore your thoughts. And then he'd sit there for five minutes. You know, it's. It's amazing the way they. They elevated this guy. Like genius. Right?

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right.

[John Stamos]

It was just like. Like, you know, talk.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, that's was me. I'm trying to tell stories about Jimmy Page and the.

[John Stamos]

Be Jimmy Page. Yeah. So what happened? He came out all stoned.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. And. And he had all these anvil cases everywhere, which I thought were guitars. Turned out to be devil like whips and stuff. And. But my friend runs off with his assistant to some other room. And I'm sitting first. I'm sitting there first. I. They all leave. He goes to get me a light beer. My friend goes off with the roadie and they're looking at some guitars in some other room. I'm sitting in this big cat, like this kind of. This sinks down like this. And I'm just looking around. I'm like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. This is weird. Swear to God. Out pops this like a goth cuckoo clock. Some weird chick out of the thing, out of the behind. Anvocate sees me, goes back. He had some young girl that he was bringing on the road with him. He comes out in a case in between the two cases. Oh, and there was a blank. I'll never forget the blanket over. I mean, a tie. Dyed sheet. Jimmy comes back and says. Doesn't say anything. I'm like. And I'm 8, 19 years old. He's like, okay, so what. What songs would you. I said, I think you're doing Barbara Ann. What key is that in F sharp? I kept fucking screaming at me, you know, about the keys.

[John Stamos]

And I was like, again. People mad at you? Yeah, always.

[John O'Hurley]

I know we should have took a guitar.

[John Stamos]

Is it weird?

[John O'Hurley]

It's me.

[John Stamos]

It's like I'm watching this Puff Daddy video. Not video, this Puff Daddy series, this documentary. And like everyone. You look at all the things in a row and you see. Oh God. Everybody this guy has ever been encountered with, from JLO to everybody else, has either been embroiled in some sort of. Of violence or death or cheated or beaten or something horrible. It seems the same with you.

[John O'Hurley]

I killed Tupac.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, Tupac. I mean, like murders and. I mean, this is a. This is a. I've watched enough Chico. This guy, I mean, seriously, he.

[John O'Hurley]

Yes. Did you know him well?

[John Stamos]

Not like that. I mean, it's funny.

[John O'Hurley]

My parties, he.

[John Stamos]

Well, no, but I. There's a few times I did run into him and I did see the charm. He was the kind of Guy who could like corner you for like two minutes and make you feel like he was your best friend and he loved you and everything. Did it. And then like he would give you your number and then you'd be like, I remember you get. And it was like, I didn't really want to call him, but I feel like an if I don't. And then it would be like, wrong number. It was nothing. It was nothing.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right.

[John Stamos]

So, you know.

[John O'Hurley]

But no, I did Raisin in the Sun, a three hour TV movie of that. I was the white guy. I was the racist white guy in the.

[John Stamos]

The. Oh, there's a white guy.

[John O'Hurley]

And, and Sean Combs was the. Was in it.

[John Stamos]

Oh, I remember when you did it.

[John O'Hurley]

On Broadway and then they did a tv.

[John Stamos]

You were the racist white guy.

[John O'Hurley]

Thank you.

[John Stamos]

Right.

[John O'Hurley]

That might have been a fake laugh.

[John Stamos]

No, no. Oh, no. Okay. No, no, no.

[John O'Hurley]

What do you do now after people. The guests leave.

[John Stamos]

The guests don't leave, John. You can check out anytime you want. You can never leave. All right. Okay. This is a satanic. See, aren't you funny?

[John O'Hurley]

This is satanic. No, it is a little weird down here.

[John Stamos]

Oh, it's lovely. It's the greatest.

[John O'Hurley]

Do you hang here when. When you're not having a TV show?

[John Stamos]

I used to before we like made it in. I'm so here off here so often, you know. But like before we did this, it wasn't like I didn't sit in this chair and smoke pot and talk to people. You know, it's like not like I'm suddenly doing this.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

The Bachelor show. Let's get back to that.

[John O'Hurley]

Let's go back to it.

[John Stamos]

We gotta get this going. Don't you think the ratings would be off the charts? I mean, if we women won't watch.

[John O'Hurley]

It, but you know.

[John Stamos]

Women?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, you know.

[John Stamos]

Oh, you don't think they'd be interested just to hate watching. This is like an ultimate hate watch.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Stamos]

I mean, what do people want to these days? They just want to get stirred up about and be angry about and about.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

I think I'm giving them the product they are asking for.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay, start off with your hatred towards the woke.

[John Stamos]

No, but it's just. I just think it'd be funny. Yeah, I just think it's funny.

[John O'Hurley]

Just all bunch of heroes.

[John Stamos]

First of all, like, look, people in their 20s don't know anything.

[John O'Hurley]

But you'd have to have sex with.

[John Stamos]

A lot of them.

[John O'Hurley]

That's why.

[John Stamos]

Oh, no, that's one thing that you'd have to do. You'd have to be chaste or else it would know. Then you would lose the audience completely. And I don't want to do it.

[John O'Hurley]

But don't those guys have sex with all the girls on that show?

[John Stamos]

But this is a different show. This is the Golden Bachelor age inappropriate. Oh, that's the name.

[John O'Hurley]

That's the name. Age inappropriate.

[John Stamos]

Golden Bachelor Age inappropriate. But you cannot have.

[John O'Hurley]

So a lot of it's just you telling these girls.

[John Stamos]

It's just.

[John O'Hurley]

Yes, say I'm a girl. Say I'm one of the girls.

[John Stamos]

Oh, again, you're trying to get me to you. Oh, Jesus. First it's the gay weddings and then it's the fighting and okay, John, that is the jacuzzi. All right, so what? So, well, can you act like a 22 year old girl?

[John O'Hurley]

Can you? Can I, I just. Because I didn't shave today. I would normally. What would you say today?

[John Stamos]

Wow. Yeah, that's pretty macho because you've got like a half a beard.

[John O'Hurley]

Thank you.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, go ahead, do your best.

[John O'Hurley]

I, I, first of all, what is the show all in the family you're talking about? I always say, who gives a fuck if they know those shows?

[John Stamos]

But yeah, then I would say it's an iconic and you would stop me.

[John O'Hurley]

And say, what's iconic?

[John Stamos]

Thank you. And you see, this is how we learn because it actually gets to. I think if any problem you want to identify in America as root, I would say it is education. I would say what's education? Exactly. Something you didn't have because you went to high school in America after the time when they felt it was perfectly okay to let you out with a diploma, even if you didn't know anything. You didn't know science, you didn't know history. You probably don't know which country America got its independence from.

[John O'Hurley]

Right. I could cut a frog up though.

[John Stamos]

I did when I was in high school and I'm sorry. I did.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, I'm sorry.

[John Stamos]

And I've been repentant PETA board member ever since.

[John O'Hurley]

Am I still the girl? Are we back? I didn't know if we, I don't know if we went back to John and Bill. I like those beetle boots.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. Let's go back, Josh. Yeah, I mean, fuck that. It is a great idea.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, it is a very good idea. You got the guy here that can.

[John Stamos]

Do it and like I'm the only one who could do it because first of all, to your point about the sex. No, you, you can't. That's super sleazy. It's super sleazy. When age appropriate people do it, it would be just beyond super sleazy. And I wouldn't. I don't want to be sleazy, and I don't want to ever be in real life or anytime be taking advantage of somebody. If I'm with somebody who's younger than me, it's to make their life better, not to.

[John O'Hurley]

What is some of the advice, though, honestly, that you give these girls? I'm not being funny. Like, what are some of the issues?

[John Stamos]

It depends on what the issue.

[John O'Hurley]

I mean, the daddy. I'm sure it's the.

[John Stamos]

It depends on what the issue is, but generally it's the kind of common sense shit that kids don't get today anymore from their parents who have abdicated the responsibilities in big ways. And, you know, I just think they're directionless a lot of times.

[John O'Hurley]

You don't think being an Instagram model is a good direction?

[John Stamos]

I mean, are you on pornhub right now?

[John O'Hurley]

All right, I've been on there, sure.

[John Stamos]

I have been on there, sure.

[John O'Hurley]

I mean, I haven't been on there, but I've been on, you know, I've looked. I've. No. Yes. I've. I've go. I've gone on there a lot.

[John Stamos]

Yes. Jesus Christ, I'm so glad I'm not married. I. I would hate to have to f her around like that.

[John O'Hurley]

She doesn't care.

[John Stamos]

Then why are you like. I'm not.

[John O'Hurley]

I said I'm on there. I said, you know, okay, Constantly. Not constantly, but, you know, what's your point, Bill?

[John Stamos]

My point is that you're on porn. Abcons.

[John O'Hurley]

I think there was a point. There was a point where I was running into this. I saw it all. I watched all of it.

[John Stamos]

Okay, but that's like saying my dick is never going to get hard again. Yes, I've seen it before. I've also showered, but I'm going to need one of those, too.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

You know. Okay. Anyway, the point is that if you look on pornhub, I mean, it is just a never ending if you scroll montage of young girls doing porn who I've never seen before, I'll never see again. It looks to me like any girl who didn't go to college in America is either on Pornhub, is on OnlyFans, or is a stripper.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

Because there's, like, no other way to make a living, which I think is a common on our economy. Not that we want to get into that. My next guest is Mondami from New York.

[John O'Hurley]

Hi.

[John Stamos]

But in the first half. We want to talk about this. Oh, my God. Trump is not. We want to talk about him. He's making a speech about affordability, which is a hoax.

[John O'Hurley]

I love your Trump because it's.

[John Stamos]

I love it. That we both said it in the hoax.

[John O'Hurley]

I love your Trump because it's terrible.

[John Stamos]

It's terrible.

[John O'Hurley]

It's like.

[John Stamos]

It's not even exactly.

[John O'Hurley]

You sound like one of the guys. You sound like an extra from the Godfather.

[John Stamos]

It's just.

[John O'Hurley]

It's terrible. You going to take the car? Are you going to park the car?

[John Stamos]

You're right. I know. It's not my skill. It's not my bar skill. My skill is remembering lines from movies.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay, good, good, good bar skills, right?

[John Stamos]

Should I do Gone with the Wind?

[John O'Hurley]

No, there's nobody. If they haven't turned it off by now. You go into Gone with the Wind and we've lost everybody.

[John Stamos]

The.

[John O'Hurley]

The. You're. And I'm not kissing ass because I've already won you over, but you look really good in person, too. You look healthy.

[John Stamos]

Oh, here we go with trying to. Me.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, it's.

[John Stamos]

Just never.

[John O'Hurley]

You have good coloring this time. I've. You know, look, sorry.

[John Stamos]

When you make it feel awkward.

[John O'Hurley]

I know.

[John Stamos]

I. I get the ick.

[John O'Hurley]

So just come over here.

[John Stamos]

One. One.

[John O'Hurley]

Sit on my.

[John Stamos]

Laughing.

[John O'Hurley]

We'll.

[John Stamos]

We'll talk this out once I get the ick. Excuse me, but, you know, the.

[John O'Hurley]

The cringe is the K. The ick.

[John Stamos]

I think they still call it the ick. I mean, that's.

[John O'Hurley]

That the penicillin will get rid of the ick.

[John Stamos]

That's. No, nothing gets rid of the ick.

[John O'Hurley]

What's the.

[John Stamos]

The ick is when you give a girl. When you do something that makes a girl get the ick, she can never, ever look at you like she wants to fuck you again. Got it? And, you know, it can be just something as simple as tripping, right? You know, like. Or just being.

[John O'Hurley]

Texting them 8,000 times when they won't turn a call.

[John Stamos]

Some, of course, that would give the ick, but, you know, just being rude to a waiter or something or to people and she's like, oh, my God.

[John O'Hurley]

God, right?

[John Stamos]

That's who this is. You know, like, it doesn't have to be something that's directly with her, right? She can just see you do something icky and go, oh, I. I know.

[John O'Hurley]

That's a good way to weed them out, too. Because if you're shitty to a waiter and they go, I love. Be shittier to him, right?

[John Stamos]

Right.

[John O'Hurley]

She's out.

[John Stamos]

Right?

[John O'Hurley]

She gives you.

[John Stamos]

You're right.

[John O'Hurley]

Right?

[John Stamos]

Yeah, you could. You could test a girl. Maybe he'll do it on the Bachelor.

[John O'Hurley]

On the batch.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, by being shitty to people.

[John O'Hurley]

Right?

[John Stamos]

See if they go like, you know what? I don't want to be with you. I don't want your penis inside me. When you treat a waiter like that.

[John O'Hurley]

Shove the rose up your ass and get out of here. Right. I never watched that show.

[John Stamos]

I don't know, I just seem to have connected the waiter and erections a little too closely. But it is true that you can give a girl.

[John O'Hurley]

I thought it was something like a venereal disease or something, but it's not.

[John Stamos]

Well, that would definitely give the ick too.

[John O'Hurley]

Right?

[John Stamos]

But that could be more innocent because.

[John O'Hurley]

You know, giving a venereal disease.

[John Stamos]

Well, it's. I mean, let's not get into venereal diseases.

[John O'Hurley]

Why?

[John Stamos]

Because they're gross. And I'm just saying, you know, sometimes things don't come up in testing or, you know, there are.

[John O'Hurley]

I want Scott at the Clap. Be right back. Right after.

[John Stamos]

Who was the lucky guy?

[John O'Hurley]

Can't tell you.

[John Stamos]

Richard Marks.

[John O'Hurley]

I can't tell you. But what was strange was that I got. I had some thing. I was going to meet this girl in Hawaii for the weekend.

[John Stamos]

Of course you were.

[John O'Hurley]

And. And I realized. And I was going to meet her there. It was. It was a long like the late 90s maybe. And something was thing. I went to the doctor, said, I don't. We're going to test it to take 24 hours. Call me tomorrow. I'm going to be in Hawaii. Called him, said, you got it. And there I am with this girl. And I'll never forget John Ritter was there and I came down, there was. I can't be with this girl. She gave me the clap.

[John Stamos]

This is the girl who gave you the clap?

[John O'Hurley]

It was. Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Well, then you were good to go. You both got it. You might as well fuck.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, I guess, right? No, it was terrible. She gave me the ick. That was the clap that she gave me.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, but I. As long as you're in Hawaii, you both have the same disease. I would have her and then broke up with her. No, no.

[John O'Hurley]

Okay, I hung out with John Ritter and that was it.

[John Stamos]

Wow, that's gay. That's pretty gay.

[John O'Hurley]

Three's Company. What's that? What's Three's Company? See, now I'm back to the girl again. You think that I was on some sort of pot or something, huh?

[John Stamos]

Three's Company. Doesn't matter. You don't have. You're not. That is not something you're responsible for. Three's Company. It was a sitcom back when sitcoms were a big thing now you should know what sitcoms were. Do you know what sitcoms were?

[John O'Hurley]

Is that we sit on a. There's not sitting isn't involved. Right.

[John Stamos]

No, it was like, you know, you don't have a TV. Right?

[John O'Hurley]

I have a PO. IPod. All Beatles.

[John Stamos]

Oh, now you're. Now you're John as a 22. I don't. Now I'm confused. Okay.

[John O'Hurley]

You. But you look.

[John Stamos]

They were going to switch back and forth.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, I got to know when do a light or something.

[John Stamos]

Well, because you would have beetles. Well, you don't use the ipod.

[John O'Hurley]

So you think I. You still have it.

[John Stamos]

I. I'm telling you, I think it's a superior form of listening to music because.

[John O'Hurley]

Did you get that stupid Spotify thing.

[John Stamos]

Where they said you get them on ebay? You know, you can't just buy them.

[John O'Hurley]

Of course. Do you. Do you. Did you get that Spotify thing where they showed you how many song. Like who. You know what your top song was from the. Are you on Spotify? Do you know what Spotify this is now? It's. You know.

[John Stamos]

I do know it's Spotify.

[John O'Hurley]

Hey, Grandpa.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, I do know it. I have Spotify and Pandora. I use Pandora I like. You know, sometimes if I. I'm not too interested in what the music playing is and just want it in the background. Wow. I can.

[John O'Hurley]

You know. Yes, but even if they didn't get that.

[John Stamos]

But Pandora's box. Kids will get into mythology. And the second part.

[John O'Hurley]

I am great.

[John Stamos]

But yeah, right. Do you know your mythology stuff?

[John O'Hurley]

Not very well. I don't.

[John Stamos]

It's fascinating.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

I should learn.

[John O'Hurley]

I should.

[John Stamos]

Many of the stories, you know are just keep getting remade in. As modern versions, of course. I mean.

[John O'Hurley]

P. Diddy documentary.

[John Stamos]

Well, yes, sort of.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

There are. There are definite. You could do definitely. That is Greek tragedy baby oil. But also apropos to our earlier sad discussion. Family murders is very much a part of the house of Atreus. The whole cycle is begun with. He sacrifices his daughter to have favorable winds. Agamemnon does favorable winds to go to Troy to fight the Trojan War. Because they were out of condoms. What can I say? It's a gift, you know? No.

[John O'Hurley]

Who's your favorite comic?

[John Stamos]

You know, you're the second person in two days who asked me that.

[John O'Hurley]

Who was the first?

[John Stamos]

I oddly. Mike Pence.

[John O'Hurley]

No, that's Funny. Did you. Were you friends with Rickles at all?

[John Stamos]

Friends, no, but I've met him. Right. And he. He totally reckled me, you know, which I take as a compliment. But I would have loved to have seen. There was.

[John O'Hurley]

There was.

[John Stamos]

There was.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Because you were friends with him. Really.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

And he. So he could, like, not be insulting for like, a half hour at a time.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. With. With me, you know, when we're together alone or.

[John Stamos]

How'd you get to know him that well?

[John O'Hurley]

We were at a. I paid attention to him.

[John Stamos]

That's liquor.

[John O'Hurley]

Spit. Take.

[John Stamos]

Thought it was water.

[John O'Hurley]

I paid attention to him. I. I was. Met him at a restaurant years ago. Tony Stavron. You remember, the Greek place up there speaking. Going back to Greeks. And we just became friends. He was irrelevant at that time. People thought he was dead, I don't think. You know, it was before the. The documentary was before the. The tributes and stuff. And we just go. He lost his son. So I sort of of, you know, wedged myself into that. His son died very young. He was in routine. He had esophagus issues and had a routine operation at. And passed away at 32. I think he was Jesus. But, no, he could be. I. You know, I would. Yeah. Do you remember his album? Hello, Dummy? That was his only. Only one. He did.

[John Stamos]

I don't remember him having an album. Yeah, I did see him open for Sinatra. I took my mother to see.

[John O'Hurley]

Where, at the Pacific Amphitheater?

[John Stamos]

No, no, no, in New York. It was at Radio City. And Sinatra was 1995. My father had died four years earlier, so it was very, very emotional for both me and my mother because they had seen him when he was pre famous because he was from Hoboken. They were from Cliffside park, the next town over. They saw him sing in New Jersey, the Rustic Cabin, the first place he ever sang. So. And then, you know, my father had just died, and so my mother was apprehensive about even going, but I said, come on, let's go see Frank Sinatra and Rickles opened. And, you know, it was 1995. Even then, pre woke the band. You know, you'd see the band. Guys, like, the black guys in the band go like, oh, Jesus, you know, don't trip on it. Because he was still doing. And the black guy says, is he laughing? You know, and it's just. It was just like. It was a little past its expiration.

[John O'Hurley]

In 95.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, a little bit.

[John O'Hurley]

Did you.

[John Stamos]

So that was. Look, I started politically incorrect in 93, and that was a reaction to too much political correct. So. Political correctness. We didn't quite call it woke yet, but it was the same sort of movement towards stuff that was. You just don't say that. Right, right, right. And, you know, a lot of his stuff was. Was right on the edge of. Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

You know, I mean, he wouldn't last now. He. He would.

[John Stamos]

No.

[John O'Hurley]

One time I. One time I called him out. We were on a Tonight show together, and. And he. And I. And I said, you know, you go to one of Don's shows, and he'll say, you know, the black over there singing the Old man river and the Asian over there. Like, it looks like a beaver eating a. You know, a chair and. And the Mexican over there going, can I get you another salad? And the lights go on. There's no black guy there. There's no Mexican, there's no Asian. You know, he's just doing it. 95. I went to the Pacific Amphitheater. My father was my hero, and he loved Sinatra. Turned me on to Sinatra when I was a kid. Turned me onto the Rat Pack, you know, And I want. You know, you want to do. My dad was a very humble man. Tried to buy him a new car. He wouldn't nothing. You know, I worked at his restaurant, fast food restaurant. Here I am taking over the interview again.

[John Stamos]

Again, it's not an interview, but.

[John O'Hurley]

But. But it was the same. Same tour. And Rickles was. Was opening up. I didn't know Don then. I'm at the. I wanted my. I wanted to meet Sinatra. So I put the word out to Tony O and all these people, and I said, if Sinatra wants to meet you, you'll know.

[John Stamos]

Ah.

[John O'Hurley]

I'm like, how am I going to. With my smoke signal? Like, what's awesome? Rickles goes on intermission. I'm at the Pacific athlete with my mom and my dad, and my mom's drinking it.

[John Stamos]

Really?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, she liked the drink. And I get this poker. Antonio. Mr. Rickles, I'll see you now. Mr. Sinatra will see you now. Go back, take pictures with him. And my dad is standing off to the side. I say, dad, get in here. You know, Frank's gonna. And the pictures I'll have is like, Frank's bossing around the. You know, the photographer. Do it this way. Do it that. His hands going like this. Throw the picture, dad. Come here. And he just. He's like, oh, no, no. And Sinatra looked at him like, you either two things. You fucking out. You don't want to take a picture with a great friend or you're the coolest motherfucker I've ever met in my life. You don't care about. You just want to see your son. I think that's what he felt. That was my dad.

[John Stamos]

Wow.

[John O'Hurley]

So the show, if Sinatra ends and he gives it. He was older then and doesn't leave anything on the stage. And I go, that's a real. You know, me and my dad had this moment where we were both sort of tearing up and we looked at each other, you know, like this. But it was that great moment with my dad. Sinatra Brickles comes on and introduces people in the audience. Tony Danza was there, whatever. So and so John Stamos, he's probably. He's probably in the cheap seat. He's probably up in the. Up in the grass. In fact, he's probably smoking grass. Sinatra grabs the mic from Rickles and goes, smoke one for me, Johnny. My dad's there, my mom. It was a great moment. Yeah. It was the same tour. 95.

[John Stamos]

Really? Yeah, yeah. I mean, my memory of it was not as great because he was a little. He was, you know, drank during the show, was half in the bag.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

His son was the conductor and he belittled him from the stage. Did he do that at your show? I felt very bad for the son. Right. And he also couldn't get through some songs.

[John O'Hurley]

Did he have a teleprompter?

[John Stamos]

7 large screen teleprompters all around. My friend Tom Drieson, the comedian, he always took credit for that. I'm not saying it's not true. Maybe he said, frank, you know what? You can keep going longer if you just got a teleprompter. And then Frank had them apparently, all around, like you couldn't look anywhere without seeing. But he like songs that he hadn't been singing his whole life. Like Mack the Knife, he had just started doing. And I remember he started it. Stopped it, Started it, stopped it. Oh, the shark bites with those. Cut it, cut it. What is it? The teeth, dear. You know, whatever it was, he had to really have known it from, you know, in his bones, from memory.

[John O'Hurley]

Right.

[John Stamos]

You know, if he went New York, he'd go, New York. That's probably the next word there, you know?

[John O'Hurley]

But it was pretty good when I saw it, you know, I had the Jan and Dean, who, you know, adjacent to the Beach Boys. I was played with them.

[John Stamos]

Jan and Dean.

[John O'Hurley]

Jan and Dean.

[John Stamos]

What did they sing? Surf City.

[John O'Hurley]

Surf City and Little lady from Pasadena.

[John Stamos]

Okay.

[John O'Hurley]

Dead Man's Curve.

[John Stamos]

So they're. They're the group that people Hear on the radio and think that's the Beach Boys, but they're not.

[John O'Hurley]

Yes. Brian wrote Surf City.

[John Stamos]

Oh, really?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. Oh, and. And Dean sang on Barbara. Annie sang Barbara. The high part on there.

[John Stamos]

Barbara Ann. Yeah, that. Oh, that's the. Jan and Dean.

[John O'Hurley]

That was the Beach Boys.

[John Stamos]

Okay.

[John O'Hurley]

But Dean sang on. Was part.

[John Stamos]

That's a great one, Barbara Ann. Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

Dean was friends best went to school with this guy named Barry Keenan who kidnapped Frank Sinatra Jr. Oh, I remember that.

[John Stamos]

Well, I don't remember it, but I remember seeing it when it.

[John O'Hurley]

I did a podcast, the only podcast I've ever done. I did 10 episodes on it because I became friends with this guy through Dean. This guy, Barry Keenan. And he recently shot. Killed himself at 93 or something recently. But the story is fascinating. My fault mostly. My fault.

[John Stamos]

Another beef.

[John O'Hurley]

Talk to my.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, even 90 year olds, they're like Stamos.

[John O'Hurley]

If enough people tell you you're drunk, fall down. Anyway, so that's. I did. You should listen to that. You'll like it. It's a fascinating story about how he, you know, why he kidnapped Frank Sinatra. He. He was mentally ill and, you know, they didn't have the term back then. And he said. I asked him why did he do it? And he said, because I was sitting in the car and on the radio, God told me to.

[John Stamos]

And this is 62.

[John O'Hurley]

3.

[John Stamos]

63. Okay. So Kennedy, Kennedy just.

[John O'Hurley]

It was December of 63.

[John Stamos]

It was after the assassination, right after. Wow.

[John O'Hurley]

And the nation was like this.

[John Stamos]

I never.

[John O'Hurley]

He was gonna kidnap Bob Hope's son, but he thought, no, it's too patriotic. I'll go for Sinatra. Cause he's a mobster. And the whole, you know, it was like Canadian, just been shot. He kidnaps. He kidnaps Junior, gets him out of Tahoe and brings him to the Valley.

[John Stamos]

Tahoe.

[John O'Hurley]

Realizes he left the gun. It was like Keystone Cops. Left the gun, left the bag, left the thing. Brings his girlfriend back up. They poses as newlyweds. They go get the stuff. They're skiing. The FBI, the CIA. Sam Giancana. Sam Giancana called Sinatra and said, do you want me to take care of it? Do it first. The FBI, all of them are after this guy. And he's doing the bunny slopes up in Lake Tahoe, you know, like a guy. And that was one thing about Rickles.

[John Stamos]

I gotta say, that just made me go, whoa, what balls this guy has. When he was on the Tonight show on the couch with Sinatra and he would do mafia jokes at Frank. Nobody did any jokes at Frank. But to do Mafia joke, two bullets in the head. If Thursday wasn't been laughing, right, it would have been, you know, there's no in between of, like, getting the laugh and dying. And you'd be like, Frank Obugo umbanzo. And Sinatra would be. Right. He called and said, you know, we took care of the thing.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, right.

[John Stamos]

And Frank would be laid out.

[John O'Hurley]

Right, right, right.

[John Stamos]

But, boy, if you missed.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, right. He called him. He called him. What did he call him? Bullet head.

[John Stamos]

I would sit here all night with you but I'm sure you.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, I'm not leaving. We didn't get to Sammy Davis Jr. Let's do it.

[John Stamos]

Whether I'm right Whether I'm wrong Whether I'm wrong Whether I find a place in this world or never belong I've.

[John O'Hurley]

Got to be gay oh, I got.

[John Stamos]

To be me what else can I be but what I am?

[John O'Hurley]

You're a good singer. What kind of fool am I?

[John Stamos]

You know, he never had a hit before that.

[John O'Hurley]

He was Candy Man Was after that.

[John Stamos]

After that, he was iconic.

[John O'Hurley]

Did you know him? Do you ever meet him?

[John Stamos]

I think I met him once for a second. But no, practically no. I mean, he died in 94, I think. So, you know, he was 64, but I saw him in Reno shoot a man. What?

[John O'Hurley]

Did he shoot a man?

[John Stamos]

No.

[John O'Hurley]

Johnny Cash.

[John Stamos]

Oh, I know. No, he was. I was playing Reno. This is like 1984, and he was. I mean, and those rooms were intimate. Reno is not a big. You know, it's. They call America biggest. Little. Yeah, it's. It's the little accent. Little so you could see them. It was almost like a club atmosphere. And I remember he sat in the middle of the room on a stool, smoking. And he even said to the audience, don't do this as I'm doing it endlessly. But, you know, and he was just amazing. And that was the. He had never had a hit before. I Gotta Be Me. And that was the first year I was listening to music. 1968.

[John O'Hurley]

Really?

[John Stamos]

Yeah, 19. I was 12. 1968. And, you know, a year that had hey Jude and MacArthur did not have records. I still do.

[John O'Hurley]

Sure you do, too. Do you have a record player?

[John Stamos]

Yeah, I don't use it, but I'm looking for it. But MacArthur Park, I brought that up to Billy Joel. We had to cut it out because you have to pay for it. But immediately this sits and plays it right? And play, you know, and it's very complicated, you know, and just to talk to Billy Joel about MacArthur park, which I was telling somebody, you know, who was going to be a contestant on the Bachelor, inappropriate age version about MacArthur Park. And we Googled it, and the first thing that comes up is, this may be the worst song ever. And I was like, this may be the best song ever.

[John O'Hurley]

Best song ever.

[John Stamos]

Yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

It's crazy.

[John O'Hurley]

Who wrote it?

[John Stamos]

Jimmy Webb, Right?

[John O'Hurley]

Yes. I just had dinner with him.

[John Stamos]

You did?

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Jimmy Webb.

[John O'Hurley]

Yes. Well, I sat next to him at the. I had dinner with him at the Songwriter's hall of Fame.

[John Stamos]

Recently.

[John O'Hurley]

A few months ago.

[John Stamos]

Wow. How old is he?

[John O'Hurley]

He doesn't. I mean, maybe 70s, about your age, but he's. No, he's probably a little older than you. What's the best song he ever wrote? What's the best line in any song he ever wrote?

[John Stamos]

Didn't he write Gentle on My Mind?

[John O'Hurley]

Yes, but there was another song. There's a great lyric he says in Wichita Lineman.

[John Stamos]

Wichita lineman, Right.

[John O'Hurley]

And does the Wichita lineman you want.

[John Stamos]

To be a singer is still on the line.

[John O'Hurley]

Right. And I need you more than want you. I want you for all time.

[John Stamos]

Yes. Mary, that will wet in panties a long way.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Yes. And I need you more than once. You. And I want you for all time. Yeah. And the Witchita lineman is still in the line. Now you got to be a romantic to be alignment. And get a. Get a good girl.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. Unless you're a football.

[John Stamos]

What?

[John O'Hurley]

Bill, can I say that I've had this image of you for so many years. So I know you want to wrap this up, and I'm helping.

[John Stamos]

I. I mean, I really don't. We've been here for three hours, but, like, it's. You know, I don't know.

[John O'Hurley]

I feel we can be friends now, right?

[John Stamos]

Totally. We can do this. Like, again, if we did this without the cameras, it would be just like, this. Zero different. Can you imagine it any more? Like, inappropriate. But I will. I mean. And we're both friends with Jeff.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Like, you're still asshole buddies with him, right?

[John O'Hurley]

What is that?

[John Stamos]

That means very close. It doesn't mean gay.

[John O'Hurley]

Sounds like it.

[John Stamos]

No, it just means you both can be an asshole with each other.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's us now.

[John Stamos]

That's us now.

[John O'Hurley]

Well, we've been that for a while, but now. Now we can do it in a chair in soft chairs. But I really. I was shocked. I was surprised when you asked me to come on here, only because. I'll tell you why I'm so glad this happened, because I don't. I don't. I didn't I don't think of me as a big enough get, you know, guest for you.

[John Stamos]

Are you crazy?

[John O'Hurley]

Well, you're. You're.

[John Stamos]

Oh, my God.

[John O'Hurley]

I'm not compliments, but I'm just saying.

[John Stamos]

No, no, but your resume is, like, so broad. Yes. First of all, everybody knows you. So, like, you're much more famous than I am. I mean, not just from the sitcom, but then from broad, you know, all these places you. You, the. The music, the. The soap opera, all these places you've.

[John O'Hurley]

Been, but you've had everybody. Anyway, I'm just saying. I'm not looking for compliments. I'm just saying that I was so flattered when you guys asked me to be on here, and I'm so glad that I came and spent time with you. And you're just a charming, delightful guy. You are.

[John Stamos]

I would feel the same about you. I mean, it looks weird now that the end of it, like how much we love each other. Yeah, yeah.

[John O'Hurley]

Cycles, you know?

[John Stamos]

But, you know, it's. It's real.

[John O'Hurley]

It's real for me.

[John Stamos]

Okay. All right. Thank you.

[John O'Hurley]

Thank you.

[John Stamos]

Thanks for coming.

[John O'Hurley]

Club. The camera still rolling. I had to break up a fight between you and Kimmel at a party. Do you remember that? Brad Gray's house.

[John Stamos]

Makes me look really bad. No, seriously.

[John O'Hurley]

Yeah, you can.

[John Stamos]

Come on.

[John O'Hurley]

Why did you say that about me, Bubba?

[John Stamos]

You.

[John O'Hurley]

Jimmy was like. I was right in the middle here.

[John Stamos]

Club random.

[John O'Hurley]

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