Patton Oswalt | Club Random with Bill Maher

Summary

Club Random with Bill Maher: "Patton Oswalt" (Nov 17, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this sprawling, candid, and often hilarious exchange, Bill Maher hosts comedian, writer, and pop-culture enthusiast Patton Oswalt at his Club Random studio. True to the podcast’s promise, the duo veer away from formal politics and instead bounce between personal histories in stand-up, the evolution of comedy, generational divides, audience psychology, music and film, the dangers of nostalgia, and the quirks and burdens of modern American culture. Patton and Bill mix deep musings on aging (and refusing to “walk away”) with rants about pop culture, hilarious asides about classic movies, and thoughtful debate. Cultural criticism, nostalgia, and philosophy all get the Club Random treatment: conversational, iconoclastic, and fiercely funny.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Stand-Up Life, Nostalgia, and Comedy’s Evolution

• “Assassinate a Day”—On Stand-Up Roots:
  Bill and Patton reminisce about their early stand-up days, bonding over the idleness and creativity of those pre-career years.

  • [03:04] Bill Maher: "You're talking about my novel True Story, but it's a novelization of my early standup time."
  • Patton notes the importance of spending long, unstructured days, just “kicking jokes around.”

• Generational Change in Comedy:
  Patton worries about young comedians missing “time in the wilderness" necessary to develop a unique voice, as everything is now filmed and chronicled.

  • [20:32] Patton Oswalt: "I want young performers to have time in the wilderness. They need it so badly to develop."

• From Clubs to Arenas—Has Stand-up Changed?
  The men debate whether stand-up’s ascendance to stadium-scale events is good for the art.

  • [18:41] Bill Maher: "Comedy, in the long run, is better than music now... But we don't go up to that level, right at the edge of—”
  • [18:46] Patton: "Eddie Murphy was a rock star… now there’s like ten comedians who fill arenas. And that's kind of bad for comedy."

• The Performer’s Ego & Competition:
  Patton credits his improvement to surrounding himself with funnier peers:

  • [28:56] Patton: “I don't wanna be the funniest guy in the room. That is so depressing. You don't grow.”

Music, Movies, and Cultural Tastes

• On Hits & “Cultured” Tastes:
  Bill admits his mainstream pop leanings and lightheartedly accuses Patton of being a “culture vulture.” They laugh about proving cultural bona fides and how “hits” are often dismissed unfairly.

  • [31:38] Patton: “There's a reason that they're hits. Nothing drives me crazier than when someone goes, ‘This band, they just wrote a bunch of hit songs.’ Do you know how hard it is to write a hit?”

• Iconic Movies & Studio Influence:
  Long, deep digressions into film: from “The Big Sleep” and “The Long Goodbye,” to Orson Welles and Robert Altman. Patton shares how studio meddling can occasionally benefit a film (“sometimes the studio’s right”).

  • [61:13] Bill Maher: “The studio’s often right because it’s their money.”
  • [61:16] Patton: “Well, I’m gonna disagree—sometimes, not always.”

• Nostalgia—Dangerous or Comforting?:
  Both agree nostalgia can be corrosive, with Bill claiming “nostalgia will destroy us.”

  • [25:21] Bill Maher: “I only live in the future, you know?... Everything that’s in the rearview mirror was wonderful, but it’s gone.”

Personal Growth & Regret

• On Regret and Humility: The comedians reject the “no regrets” mantra, asserting that growth requires mistakes and learning.
  • [26:25] Patton: “You said, I never understood these people that are like, I have no regrets. ... What life did you live if you haven't apologized or regretted anything?”
  • [26:39] Bill Maher: “I admire people who do. And I actually like myself when I do... it shows that I’m not insecure.”

Childlike vs. Childish, Power, and Modern America

• Comics as Permanent Adolescents: They draw lines between being “childlike” (openness, creativity) and “childish” (petulance, refusal to grow up).

  • [13:41] Bill Maher: “That's a childlike thing, not childish...”

• Trump, Power, and Bravado: They analyze how “defiance”—the “16-year-old mentality”—has become a political superpower, not just for Trump but for his followers.

  • [12:17] Patton: “He is really, really in tune with that period when you're really young and you feel insanely intimidated by the world. So what you have, until you figure out who you are, is just bravado...”
  • [14:35] Patton: “That's power. There is a thing that appeals to very damaged people, and there's a lot of damaged people in this country right now that have been damaged by the system.”

• Generational Stubbornness & “Walking Away”: Patton says America could use a generation willing to walk away—like John Wayne in "The Searchers"—and let youth have their era.

  • [17:25] Patton: “We need a generation that is okay with walking away when their time is done. ... I want to see my generation. Someone new, and it's okay.”

Art, Taste, and Subjectivity

• There’s No “Best”—Just Personal Taste: Patton pushes back on the idea of ranking art and performers, emphasizing subjectivity.
  • [49:03] Patton: “As you get older, you get that... so much of comedy and culture, they've added this weird sports element to it of this person wins, this person owns...There's no best actor, there's no best comedian... Everyone’s doing their best job every single day.”

Audience Psychology & The Mystery of Performance

• The Collective Mind of the Crowd:

  • [36:04] Bill Maher: “There’s some psychic energy that goes through a room of people in an audience... they just take on a certain, singular personality.”
  • [36:22] Patton: “An audience is a verb, not a noun... That moment is not gonna happen again.”

• Handling Bad Crowds:

  • Early-career comics would often “blame the crowd,” but with time learned to persist and stay in the bit.
  • [45:54] Bill Maher: “If you just... don’t acknowledge it... My problem at the beginning was I would acknowledge it immediately and blame them—‘What’s wrong with you idiots?’”

Aging, Technology & Modern Life

• Tech Overwhelm & Boundaries:

  • Bill avoids his phone and lauds the value of analog, while Patton struggles not to doom-scroll.
    • [105:22] Bill Maher: “There are days I don’t look at my phone.”
    • [104:59] Patton: “I’m doing this thing where don’t look at my phone before 9am, don’t look at my phone after 9pm...”

• Philosophy of the Golden Mean:

  • Bill recalls the Greek concept that virtue lies between extremes, encouraging moderation.
    • [106:18] Bill Maher: “You know, the Greeks used to have a phrase—the golden mean.”

Culture Wars, Gender, and Society

• Debating the “Woke” vs. Conservative Divide:

  • In a respectful but spirited exchange, Bill and Patton debate whether the left or right have gone too far—on issues like gender, education, and civil rights.
    • [75:20] Bill Maher: “They think gender... that they went way too far with. That's not scientific.”
    • [77:07] Patton: “Whenever a minority expresses fear and trepidation and like, hey, please help us...I tend now to believe them.”

• Scapegoating and Victimization:

  • Patton argues trans people are scapegoated by conservative media.

    • [77:50] Patton: “But not scapegoated the way that transgender people are.”

  • They also discuss media bubbles and whether serious stories (e.g., UK grooming scandals) break through.

    • [83:50] Bill Maher: “But it concerns me that this didn’t get on your radar.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Comedy & Regret:
  Patton: “What life did you live if you haven't apologized or regretted anything? You didn't live a life.” [26:25]

• On Hit Songs:
  Patton: “There's a reason they're hits. Nothing drives me crazier than when someone goes, ‘They just wrote a bunch of hit songs.’ Do you know how hard it is to write a hit song?” [31:38]

• On Audience Psychology:
  Bill Maher: “An audience is just a mysterious entity… there are certain dominant brains in the room and there's brain waves. I don't know what it is.” [36:04]

• On Technology and Aging:
  Bill Maher: “Sweetheart, I used to use a typewriter. You can't shame me for my phone.” [104:47]

• On Obama’s “Mic Drop”:
  Bill Maher: “That was like the ultimate mic drop, fuck you, here’s my dick in your ass moment.” [71:39]

• On Free-Range Childhood:
  Patton: “Not only did I have a free range childhood, I had the kind of childhood where you were a shitty parent if you had your kids inside watching tv. It was go outside, when it gets dark come back.” [125:12]

• On Comics as Lifelong Adolescents:
  Bill Maher: “We fight like fucking middle schoolers, comics. That's all we do.” [12:53]

• On Growing Old in Power:
  Patton: “…We need a generation that is okay with walking away when their time is done. We need a generation that can do a John Wayne at the end of the Searchers…” [17:25]

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Timestamps for Significant Segments

• 00:00-02:53: Ads & Club Random cold open, Bill and Patton settle in, discuss rituals (Bill only drinks once a week “because I’m 70”)
• 03:04-10:48: Reminiscence about stand-up beginnings, the idleness and “assassinated days” of early careers
• 14:35-21:17: Politics as performance—how bravado, arrested development, and “defiance” fuel political figures and their fans
• 18:41-22:57: Comedy’s expansion to arenas, generational handover, and how younger comics struggle to develop without anonymity
• 25:01-27:49: The philosophy of nostalgia—dangerous comfort or creative trap?
• 28:56-32:01: On being challenged by funnier peers, the insecurity and growth-complex of comedians
• 36:04-37:55: The collective “personality” of an audience and strategies for handling tough crowds
• 47:25-54:22: Playful “culture vulture” ribbing, immersion in film, music, and pop culture, why hits are hard
• 61:13-62:01: Studio meddling in movies—a necessary evil?
• 71:17-74:54: On Obama’s political genius, “mic drop” State of the Union moment, and why some culture wars footage goes viral
• 75:27-77:44: Woke critique, education, gender, and trans scapegoating
• 104:46-105:28: Old-school tech boundaries versus doom-scrolling and “digital minimalism”
• 106:18-108:03: Greek philosophy and the “golden mean” for virtue and behavior

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Playful, musing, and at times gleefully self-mocking; Patton and Bill go deep but keep the rhythm light, volleying intellectual humility and braggadocio.
• Willingness to challenge, self-correct, and learn out loud—a “safe haven” for friendly disagreement and nostalgia-busting.
• Frequent bursts of laughter, affectionate banter about generational differences, and mutual admiration, even as debate intensifies.

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Episode Conclusion

As the conversation (and whiskey) flows, Maher and Oswalt reach a détente—agreeing that life, comedy, and art are all matters of taste, context, and adaptation. They toast to the joys of aging comics, reminisce about the comics gone before, and look forward to future debates (and drinks). The episode closes with a sense that, in Club Random, nothing’s taken too seriously—except the art of not taking things too seriously.

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For pop culture nerds and fans of stand-up, this episode is a treasure trove of anecdotes, insights, and memorable riffs, replete with shoutouts to classic comics, musicians, and directors. At its heart, it’s a love letter to comedy and an ode to living with eyes open, past and present—and plenty of whiskey at hand.

Transcript

[Bill Maher]

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[Bill Burr]

Let's just have fun. Let's have a fun. Let's have fun here. Dude, I don't want to bum you out. You want to hear something really weird with this right now?

[Bill Maher]

I'm gonna kill you with this thing. You know, Claw Randall. Okay, let's not keep General Patton waiting.

[Bill Burr]

Beep.

[Bill Maher]

Hello.

[Bill Burr]

How are you?

[Bill Maher]

Sorry. If you were here, I was just.

[Bill Burr]

Can't imagine how busy you are these days.

[Bill Maher]

Well, you know, you know, this. I. I have to tell you, this little moment in the week right in the middle on hump day Wednesday.

[Bill Burr]

This is a breather.

[Bill Maher]

Well, first of all, it's the only time I let myself have a drink.

[Bill Burr]

Really?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Oh, wow. Well, I'm 70.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that is true.

[Bill Maher]

You can't.

[Bill Burr]

Not every day.

[Bill Maher]

Not really, not at all. But, you know, once a week, a couple of snorts and I get to talk to somebody like you, who I've wanted to talk to, like, for so long, like just in a setting like this. And you know, I've said this to so many people here. Like, we're the kind of people. When do we get together? When we work.

[Bill Burr]

Exactly.

[Bill Maher]

It's like, hey, would you like to get together with a camera on?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Remember, like, when you were starting out and you would. I think you even said it in your book. You assassinate a day.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

With your friends, but you sit there all day just kicking jokes around. So now you have to spend this much money to recreate. You can't just go. Exactly. Yeah. So. Oh, boy. I'm sorry. Assassinated day.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I'm so flattered you remembered that. Right.

[Bill Burr]

That was one of those things I remember when I read was like, oh, my God. I just remember being on the road and getting to the shopping mall at 10am and walking around until you go get ready for the show. And like, I did nothing. I did nothing. No, I'm on the planet. I did nothing.

[Bill Maher]

You're talking about my novel True Story, but it's a novelization of my early standup time.

[Bill Burr]

There were moments in that book where I was like, well, he's clearly changed the names, but I think I might know who some of these people are.

[Bill Maher]

Composites or. I mean, the great thing about fiction, of course, that you take whatever you want from reality and then fuck with it in any way you want, including making yourself worse. They once asked Lawrence Olivier, this is acting. But it's sort of the same thing. Said, what's your secret to acting? And he said, I take my worst qualities and I exaggerate them and you amplify them and.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Well, what was. They were. Remember people were asking Carly Simon, like, you're so vain. So that's Warren Beatty. Right. And she was like, look, that was everybody I met. I just put them all together. The apricot scarf, the total eclipse. That was like nine different idiots that I ran into. And I probably slept with all of them, but I slapped them into one person and put them in a song. So.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, by the way, and that song is you're so Vain. I mean, the kids are like, what are they talking about? But your kids. I'm telling you, if you think Taylor Swift invented the fuck you guy I dated, who I'm now gonna get back at in a song. You have to listen to Carly Simon's you're so Vain.

[Bill Burr]

You're so vain.

[Bill Maher]

She did it with a knife. That was.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, right. But she's taking that. She's running through a party with that knife and slashing a dozen different people. That's not just one person. That's a whole platoon of dudes that she's taking down.

[Bill Maher]

Right?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that's. That wasn't a knife. That was an airstrike. You know, she dropped bombs on Laurel Canyon.

[Bill Maher]

But it now. And I have great love for Warren Beatty, but it probably is mostly him. And he was probably the worst. And I mean, did he ever. You know, you took your Learjet to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun when you're where you should be all the time and when you're not, you.

[Bill Burr]

You're with some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend. But. And also, what's great is the way she writes it is. It's so vicious. But the person listening to it would go, I mean, that is kind of me. That's not that awful, isn't. I got a private jet.

[Bill Maher]

It's a bit of a flex.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, it is.

[Bill Maher]

And my best friend's wife is so. I'm so irresistible. My best friend's wife is fucking me.

[Bill Burr]

How does she not.

[Bill Maher]

How do you know?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, how do you. I got an apricot scarf on, baby. Who the. What woman's gonna. What woman's gonna resist that?

[Bill Maher]

I mean, the way she reminds that with gavotte. Right? I mean, it's just.

[Bill Burr]

I mean, it's scarf and yacht, right? You were walking about. Yeah. Anyway, it's a great, like. Oh, for a second, it's like she's had maybe one too many cocktails. She's like, let me tell you about la. And she's just. And she's spilling it and it feels like you're. Oh, my God, we're getting away with something. I can't believe she had the. I can't believe she was recording when she was singing this. This is awesome.

[Bill Maher]

You know, how about this twist to it on the track? Do you remember who's singing background vocal?

[Bill Burr]

It's Mick Jagger, who seems like he.

[Bill Maher]

Would be part of the airstrike.

[Bill Burr]

Yes, exactly. And I almost feel like maybe that was her. Wait a minute. What if that was her way of going, listen, I want to sleep with you, but you're going to behave or I'm going to write another song. I'm putting you on this song. You're going to frigging behave. Or I'll put you on another song just like this.

[Bill Maher]

I would love to know the story of how that. Or it could be just something benign, like, he was recording in the studio next door, walked over and why not? But it is odd, because he seems like if it wasn't Warren Beatty. He could be that exact.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And it was also really cool. Vocally, he doesn't really sing like Mick Jagger until the very, very last verse. Up until that point, he's very muted, and Carly Simon is the dominant one because that's a guy that can just show off vocally and go, I'm here. I'm Mick Jagger. And the fact that he does it so low key, but you definitely hear.

[Bill Maher]

His very distinguishable voice at the end.

[Bill Burr]

That's when he starts doing the yelping and the. Yeah, you know, but. But first off, he's very like, I'll Carly do this a little bit. I also love how in the beginning, I forgot who does guitar on that one. But he does that amazing opening riff on the guitar. And you can hear Carly goes, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, really?

[Bill Burr]

Whispers she goes, son of a gun.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Like, she's so impressed.

[Bill Maher]

Listen to that again.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, yeah. It's a great song.

[Bill Maher]

I went and saw Mick Jagger. This is like 25, 30 years ago. But.

[Bill Burr]

So he was 70.

[Bill Maher]

I saw him pick up a girl across the room without saying a word. It was like Harpo Marks. Like, it was just. I could see that. Like, he just looked at this. He just stared at her and like.

[Bill Burr]

It was like, well, didn't he take Jerry hall away from Bryan Ferry? And basically, like, kind of in front of Brian. And his apology, I think, to Brian Ferry was, why did you leave your girl with me? I'm. I'm. I'm Mick Jagger. Don't you know what happens? Like, it's not my fault. That's what I do.

[Bill Maher]

Like the. What's this? The parable of the frog and the scorpion.

[Bill Burr]

And the scorpion.

[Bill Maher]

What is it that the frog.

[Bill Burr]

You knew I was a scorpion when you put me on your back, right? Why'd you do this?

[Bill Maher]

The frog wants to get across. The scorpion wants to get across the river. Wants a ride on the frog.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So he says, why would I sting you halfway across the river? Because then we'll both die. But then he does, and the frog's.

[Bill Burr]

Like, we're just dying. He goes, look, I'm a scorpion. What do you think? You're letting me do this? Yeah. So that's kind of. There is something kind of beautiful about true knowing of self, even if the self that, you know is kind of an awful person. But if you're like, well, but that's what I am.

[Bill Maher]

That's true.

[Bill Burr]

That's what I do.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, that's what he does. I mean, like, you know, we don't have to talk to.

[Bill Burr]

No, no. I mean, but in a very weird way. And it's something that. It took me. It took me way too. I was stupidly doing the whole, oh, my God, he said this. And then he went and said this other thing, thinking that that would. I still had this West Wing mentality of you could just point out when someone's wrong, and then things are over for them. And I didn't see that things were changing and that there's a new flex. You're talking about a flex. There's a new flex of, yes, I did say this thing. And I'm doing the opposite, because I can. And his followers go, that's awesome. It took us a while to realize, because we are from that generation of comedians and comedy where, you know, you point out something that's bad and the other person feels shame, and he's like, I don't feel that you can totally point that out. And it's gonna. We're in this very new dark era because of that.

[Bill Maher]

You know, for somebody who's almost 80, he's so much more in touch and in tune with, like, the. The younger spirit of the country, you know, which. Which is sort of like, they don't know that there are rules because the educational system collapsed. And so when you. You can't even expect these people who are, like, even under 40 who went to school in America, where they don't teach you things anymore to know. It's people who remember, oh, wait, no, there is a way it should run. There is a way. Liberal democracy was supposed to run there. There are norms, you know, and younger people are like, they're not exercised about it because they didn't know it existed in the first place.

[Bill Burr]

They were never taught it. Or what's even worse is. And talking about what he's in tune with, he is really, really in tune with that period when you're really young and you feel insanely intimidated by the world. So what you have, until you figure out who you are, is just bravado and provocation and being offensive because you don't know how else to be. You don't. There's nothing. When I was in my 20s, I was all about, this is bullshit, and I hate this, and this is lame. Cause I was terrified of committing to saying, I like something and having it be lame. It's not until you get older, we go, I don't care who thinks. I just like what I like. But when you're young, it's really, really, really honed. In on it because that's how he is every second of the day.

[Bill Maher]

Not every second of the day, but certainly in public. But like tweeting out that thing of him riding the plane with a crown, dropping shit on people. I mean that, I mean if you're a 16 year old boy, that's exactly what you would do. So I mean it gets to the 16 year old boy in a lot of people who are older than 16.

[Bill Burr]

But yeah, there's a lot of people who basically have stayed 16 years old for a very long time.

[Bill Maher]

Well, we all look, we're comics. Our whole thing is staying.

[Bill Burr]

We fight like fucking middle schoolers comics. That's all we do.

[Bill Maher]

Well, we have to. Unless we, if we lose our ability to see the world anew. What is a bit. Not a bit. Unless the audience is hearing something that they didn't think of or sometimes they thought of and wouldn't say out loud. But mostly it's something they didn't think of. When Louis CK talks about like, you know, we would take it for granted, flying, but we're sitting in a chair in the sky. It's like we've all done it a million times, but he identified it in a way that is true and it's seeing it anew. And that's a childlike thing, not childish. Childlike thing, childlike to do.

[Bill Burr]

But there's a difference between childlike and childish. Childish is turning away, childlike is pointing that out. And then childish is turning away from it and going, I don't want to think about that.

[Bill Maher]

Dropping poop from the plane where you're sitting.

[Bill Burr]

Poop. Screw this. Childlike would be, wow, the most people in history have just turned out to march against me. Maybe what if he act. But there's no growing with him. It's, I have stayed this way and I'm going to keep this way. And there's a weird, sick sort of defiance in that.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

And there's also, you're talking about the 16 year olds, but think about the 35 and 40 year olds who also live their lives under the heel of some boss. They've got no power.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely.

[Bill Burr]

And they're watching people. They watch a boss go, no one who works in this factory can smoke. And it just lights up in front of them and they're like, well, and that's. They fantasize about being that guy.

[Bill Maher]

Of course.

[Bill Burr]

And that's who Trump is and that's their fantasy. And these people that go, so he's saying America first. And he just put out a video where he's dropping shit. And in one of the frames, the shit drops on the American flag. There's an American. The shit. And people go, yeah, he can totally contradict himself. That's power. There is a thing that appeals to very damaged people, and there's a lot of damaged people in this country right now that have been damaged by the system.

[Bill Maher]

It was very smart to surround himself with much younger people, like the Democratic Party. Their sort of image is Biden, old Steny, Hoyer. You know, a lot of these people, a lot of oldies. Not that the Republicans don't. But Trump, who is somehow 80 and does not read as youthful because he read as unyouthful because he is energetic.

[Bill Burr]

He's a giant colicky baby. Right, Okay. I mean, he has colicky baby energy.

[Bill Maher]

Right, Exactly.

[Bill Burr]

And people are like, oh, God, we gotta put him down.

[Bill Maher]

But he also surrounds himself and look, I'm not a fan of most of these people. No. But Caroline Levitt, I mean, the press spokesman is a 28 year old woman. They asked her, who suggested a Budapest, a fairly innocent question, as the place for the Putin meeting. Putin meeting. And she said, your mom did.

[Bill Burr]

I mean that. Yes, there's something very funny about that, but there's also something kind of scary. Like we.

[Bill Maher]

Very scary.

[Bill Burr]

We like to think that the levers of power, even if they're being controlled by evil people, they're controlled by evil, competent people. But I don't want.

[Bill Maher]

It's just.

[Bill Burr]

I don't want them controlled by the snotty kid in the food court that's going, yeah, nice shoes, old man. Like, that's. I don't want that guy with the finger on the nickel button, man.

[Bill Maher]

But like, when, like he. Mom Duran, which I was all for, and then he comes out to make a speech, and there's Vance with him, Hegseth and Marco Rubio, all with their natural dark hair. You know, they're 40. It's true. I mean, if you're somebody, and this is a lot of people in this country, you don't really follow politics or know the issues, and you're in your bubbles and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, they just see this guy and Kristi Noem and Tulsi and, you know, it's just a younger crew. They may be a Kash Patel, they may be crazier. They are. But they're also just. They don't. It's like fresh new. We're the, you know, we're a new generation. And we have our natural dark hair, but it's. And we don't, no.

[Bill Burr]

Although I think. And we shouldn't. We really can't talk on this because we're comedians, and comedians white knuckle their youth forever. But there is a problem with the baby boomers, and especially right now, it's the Democrats have it worse than the Republicans, even though, as you said, there's whole Republicans. We need a generation that is okay with walking away when their time is done. We need a generation that can do a John Wayne at the end of the Searchers and go, I've created this world, but now I don't belong in it anymore. I'm gonna walk away and let them run it. And we have these people that are white knuckling power. And you did your time. Remember, there's that conversation when John Entwistle of the who was talking to Pete Townsend and he said, I don't get this rap music. And then Pete said, we're not supposed to get it. We did our thing, and now we gotta get out of the way and let them do their thing. We had our time and we can still play and people like our music. But you are not the vanguard forever, so get the fuck out of the way.

[Bill Maher]

But that's one reason why comedy, though, is, in the long run, better than music now. We never experience what musicians get at the height. And we don't go. We don't go up to that level out right at the edge of.

[Bill Burr]

Well, lately, comedians. There have been comedians that are experiencing that height, which I think is kind of bad for comedy.

[Bill Maher]

Eddie Murphy was a rock star.

[Bill Burr]

Comedian was a rock star, and that should have been an anomaly. Now there's like 10 comedians who fill arenas.

[Bill Maher]

They're not rock stars. Just because they fill arenas doesn't make them a rock star.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, but I'm just. I'm just.

[Bill Maher]

They just. That's different.

[Bill Burr]

I'm just worried. I'm not worried. I can't. That's false. There's a lot of comedians now that it's very, very easy to build yourself up to someone who's filling an arena. And you miss those years that we had in the wilderness. No one's filming you. No one's watching you. No one cares. And you can actually build a unique voice. Was there anything more valuable? I was just. You have the sign from the old catch a rising star in the restroom here.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, yeah, I do.

[Bill Burr]

There were plenty of nights there where you went up, I'm sure, and bombed on an epic scale. And you woke up the next day and were like, oh, that didn't affect anything. I got that out of my system. And now you actually made you better.

[Bill Maher]

No, no.

[Bill Burr]

But now.

[Bill Maher]

Not me. I was depressed.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, you were really depressed, weren't you? I was, but then later in the day, I just saw, wait, there's another show tonight. I just bombed Garvin's on a Tuesday, and now it's Wednesday night, and they want me to do another set. Oh, okay. The world didn't end. I can keep going. I got over the fear of bombing. And also, you get over that. You get over the high of having those killer sets. You and I know comedians who never got over their one killer set that you're like, you're living on something that happened 20 years ago. You need to keep. You need to keep building. You know what I mean? So. But now everyone's being filmed. Every second of your life is being chronicled. And I want young performers to have time in the wilderness. They need it so badly to develop.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I mean, look, I got off the road this year for the. I mean, I had been doing it for really. Yeah, I stopped doing it at the end of 2020.

[Bill Burr]

What made you stop?

[Bill Maher]

Well, I just did my 13th HBO special. I feel like that's a good body of work.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Again, I said what I needed to say.

[Bill Maher]

People, you know, and I felt they all. They basically got better as it went along. I feel like the last one was the best one, which is a good way to get off. Yeah. And a number of things. Just got tired of the travel. Obviously, I miss doing it also. I feel like it was a great choice because I don't want to be out there in this country in this political atmosphere. I could get shot by the left or the right.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, well, it's just.

[Bill Maher]

It's a good time to not be out there. And also, apropos of this discussion, I just got tired of being twice as funny as people who were selling twice as many tickets as me. And that's just a. You know what? That's partly because I'm on TV every week. So. Not that I didn't sell a lot of tickets and, you know, do great theaters, but. But I didn't sell arenas, and some people did, who, frankly, are not that great. But, you know, when you're. The audience is 35 to 45, they don't want to see somebody 70. They did. It's your thing about, you know, the Searchers. I want to see my generation.

[Bill Burr]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

Someone new, and it's okay. So I still have my show. I have this. I didn't need it. I miss it. But that's part of what it is, is, you know, I see some of the comedy that is popular today. And some of it's good. And some of it is like, yeah, it's just like the rap thing, like. Or. I mean, I do like some rap, but, like, lots of new music. It's like, yeah, I get that these kids like it. I don't get it. And I'm not supposed to get it.

[Bill Burr]

No, you're not supposed to get it. But also, you keep in mind with a lot of rap music, remember in the 80s and people were so down on rap. It's like, what is the rap that you're being exposed to? You're being exposed to Vanilla Ice and two Live Crew. Cause they're in the news. You're not seeing De La Soul. You're not seeing, you know, the Beastie Boys. You're not seeing people that are really being cool Modi. And people that are being really innovative. So there's always the ones that, yes, they're making the biggest noise. And then there's people doing amazing work that you don't see unless you're in that world and see it.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I certainly don't look in music for innovation. I look for entertainment. Like, I don't. I don't really care what is changing the face of music. I just. It's completely a pleasure. But sometimes it's like having an important blow job, you know, it's just pleasure.

[Bill Burr]

But sometimes when. When someone is changing the face of music and they're feeling pleasure doing it, like when you listen to early Prince Paul albums and you can feel the joy. Prince Paul, when he did Handsome Boy Modeling School. And, like, you can feel the excitement from him. Like, oh, my God, I'm actually doing something amazing here. And that, to me, is just as entertaining. When you see or when you like really young filmmakers right now, like Zach Krager and Ryan Coogler, you feel their excitement on screen. It's like watching early Scorsese films. Like, I'm actually getting away with. I can't believe this. This is awesome. I'm pushing this so far.

[Bill Maher]

You're more cultured than I am.

[Bill Burr]

I'm really not. No, because I like. I also, by the way, I just want to be entertained.

[Bill Maher]

Me, too.

[Bill Burr]

But the entertainer, being excited and also being a little scared. Like, oh, my God, this could go right in the shit. Or if this. I don't know if this is gonna work. That's also exciting.

[Bill Maher]

I feel like that's almost every Movie.

[Bill Burr]

I mean, no, most movies now are aggressively unexcited.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, let me put it. Almost every movie I like, you know, which is not just a few movies. It's, you know, they still make good movies, and I'm entertained all the time.

[Bill Burr]

But you got it. You got to look for him now. And. Yeah, yeah, also, by the way, keep in mind, everyone that always looks at things nostalgically, like, oh, TV was so much. You could get away with stuff. In the early 70s on TV, you're literally naming. Remember, they would go, do you remember once in the 70s, on the same night? It was MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart, and All in the Family. It's like you just named the four good shows that were on in that decade. Everything else sucked.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, they all put them on.

[Bill Burr]

Yes. It was not a good time to be watching stuff.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

Hang on. This is water, right? I'm not chasing my scotch with vodka.

[Bill Maher]

Sure. Well, it's definitely not vodka. It's maybe sparkling water. Okay.

[Bill Burr]

There we go. All right. So I'm. I'm very anti nostalgia. I think Nostalgia.

[Bill Maher]

I agree.

[Bill Burr]

There is.

[Bill Maher]

I live.

[Bill Burr]

Nostalgia is going to destroy us.

[Bill Maher]

Well, it's. It's personal. I only live in the. In the future, you know? What do you mean? Like, that's all we have there? I mean, I. I take. When people say, you know, you have your memory. Memory. Yeah, it's gone. It's whatever's happened, as wonderful as everything that's in the rearview mirror was in my life. And, you know, you know, a lot of bad things back there, too.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, life is not a game. You win 11 to nothing, you win. If you. If you're lucky enough to win.

[Bill Burr]

If you're lucky enough to win, you.

[Bill Maher]

Win 8 to 5. But it's going to score on you.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, you know, you are not going.

[Bill Maher]

To pitch a shutout.

[Bill Burr]

You said, where the. Did I read this? And it was. It was so comforting. You said, I never understood these people that are like, I have no regrets. No regrets, no apologies. And you're like, are you fucking kidding me? Daily, what life did you live if you haven't apologized for anything or regret anything? You didn't live a life. What the fuck?

[Bill Maher]

And I admire people who do. And I actually like myself when I do because it shows that I'm not insecure, that I can go, oh, my bad. You know what?

[Bill Burr]

I looked up. Now I know better.

[Bill Maher]

Now I know better.

[Bill Burr]

Didn't know about. Didn't know. Now I know.

[Bill Maher]

I learned. And, you know, maybe I went off half cocked or what?

[Bill Burr]

What's weird is our generation. You were. You could do that, but there's a. Again. And I'm not putting this generation down. It's not their fault. They live in a world where because everything is being recorded and everything is forever, you can't apologize or. Then that's this weird mark on you. There's this.

[Bill Maher]

Didn't we have a beef or something in a minute?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah, we did.

[Bill Maher]

I don't. Look, see, look. This is so. This is so. But this is so important about human. About human relations. Yeah. I don't remember what it was. I don't. I don't care what it was. I just remember we had a lovely dinner. I think Sarah Silverman was there.

[Bill Burr]

She did.

[Bill Maher]

And. And I was like.

[Bill Burr]

And you gave me some very helpful nutritional advice.

[Bill Maher]

And it was the nutrition, genuinely.

[Bill Burr]

I was like, fuck, did Bill Maher just help me out?

[Bill Maher]

And then you wrote me a lovely email about the lovely advice. And it was like, it's like, look, it's not hard for us who basically think very much alike and have very similar backgrounds to like, Bond. It's harder to do it with Pam Bondi, but you can do it with anybody.

[Bill Burr]

But by the way, people that also think very much alike, those are the ones that have the biggest fights. Those are the ones that will have the biggest beefs and have the. Yeah. Cause you're like, oh, I thought we were on the same wavelength and why the fuck did this? You know? And. And also comedians, I think more than anyone, and I think a lot of people that are outside of comedy, and I hate to use the word civilian because it sounds so condescending, but there's people outside of comedy that are like, oh, my God, these guys are fighting. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. Comedians are always. And also, there's nothing better as a comedian than to have comedians around you that hand you your shit every now and then and go, dude, that fucking bit. Would you? And like, you need that. The reason that I'm as good as I am is cause I surrounded myself with comedians like Brian Posayn and Margaret Cho and Paul F. Tompkins and Blaine Kapatch, all whom I think are funnier than me. And when I would hang out in San Francisco with them and we'd be riffing stuff, I was never the funniest guy in the room. And it made me work harder at what I did. And I still talk to comedians that I think people like Lori Kilmartin and this guy Derek Sheen, who I just think are such better writers and the way they think about things and it makes me work harder at what I do. I don't wanna be the funniest guy in the room. That is so depressing. You don't grow. And you know that when you came up, the group you were with, you.

[Bill Maher]

Were always like, first of all, comedy, I mean, it's just so idiosyncratic.

[Bill Burr]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

So to say this guy is funnier than me. I just find that silly because it's just to somebody else to, you know, you do the material I always say you wish someone was doing to you because you would laugh at it. You love your own material because you wrote it. If you saw if you weren't you. Or like sometimes you will go back and look at something you did so many years ago that you don't remember it and you'll be like, that's awesome. What a great joke. And you're like, yeah, that guy that, yeah, 35 year old me did that and now me forgot about it. And so I'm watching it as if I'm watching somebody different and I'm like, oh, that is good.

[Bill Burr]

And there's that weird moment where you're like, wait a minute, where can I get that youthful stupidity back? Cause the stupidity helped me get to that thought sometimes. Sometimes, you know.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, sometimes.

[Bill Burr]

I mean, sometimes. Look, there are something I remember Louis C.K. telling me. And I was also obsessed with this. He was obsessed with not great comedians who nevertheless have one amazing joke.

[Bill Maher]

Oh yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And you're like, how do you have this joke? And you almost want to like rescue it from them and put it in a better act and it drives you crazy. Like, how is that joke yours? But it happens. That is.

[Bill Maher]

How did the Divinals only put out I Touch Myself? Such a great record. And then nothing.

[Bill Burr]

Well, except that I. I mean, Sleeping Beauty is. Is a great song. I love Sleeping Beauty.

[Bill Maher]

Maybe I'm just not aware.

[Bill Burr]

You gotta. Their early stuff is the stuff that they did that pushed through with I Touch Myself. That's a fine album. But their early stuff, when they were raw and almost like on the edge of punk. Go listen to Sleeping Beauty by the Divinals. That thing is, that's a nasty. And it's way nastier than I Touch Myself.

[Bill Maher]

Something tells me I will do that. But something tells me that because you're more of a culture vulture than I am.

[Bill Burr]

I'm not a culture. I just like stuff.

[Bill Maher]

No, I know, and I just like stuff too. But I tend to like more with music anyway, more mainstream pop. Not horrible, not bubblegum, but like, you know, like I like what the hits are and I have a feeling I'm gonna listen to this.

[Bill Burr]

There's a reason that they're hits. Nothing drives me crazy when they do. There's nothing drives me crazy when someone goes, this band, they just wrote a bunch of hit songs. Do you know how hard it is to write a hit song that is like, I know you just named, oh, that guy. All he does is hit fucking home runs. That's not interesting.

[Bill Maher]

I know.

[Bill Burr]

Like, wait, what? What are you talking about?

[Bill Maher]

Right?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

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[Bill Burr]

But like that thing that you were talking about of oh, who's the best comedian on any given night? Someone can be the best comedian and someone can be the worst comedian. I have gone on nights even. There's no such thing as getting beyond having bad nights. There's just. That doesn't exist. And there are some nights when the most average comedian can go on stage and somehow click on something and something happens. Same with acting.

[Bill Maher]

Well, it's also. An audience is just a mysterious entity. It's.

[Bill Burr]

And it's an event. It's a verb, it's not a noun. An audience is a verb, not a noun. It's not gonna happen again. That moment is not gonna happen again. It's a verb.

[Bill Maher]

And there's some psychic energy that goes through a room of people in an audience where collectively they just take on more of a singular personality. I don't know. There are certain dominant brains in the room and there's brain waves. I don't know what it is, but.

[Bill Burr]

I never thought of it that way.

[Bill Maher]

But they just take on a certain singular personality. And that personality can be good and it can be bad. I never believed these comics who said there's no such thing as a bad audience. Yes, there is. There is absolutely a. There is absolutely a good and bad way to deal with a bad audience.

[Bill Burr]

Yes, I. Oh, wait, that's.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I was a great practitioner certainly in my earlier years and probably too long after of the bad way of doing it.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, well, I mean, Larry David almost hurt his career because comedians would rush into the room to watch him deal badly with a bad audience. Like that was more entertaining to them than him doing well. And it was kind of hurting him for him it was so fascinating.

[Bill Maher]

Like, I saw him once walk off stage because someone coughed. Really? I'm not lying. I mean, he almost looked for a reason to walk off stage.

[Bill Burr]

Well, or he would look for a reason to put up a wall in front of the audience and see if they could still climb over it. So he would go up on stage. Remember one time he goes, do you mind? I don't know why this makes me laugh so hard. Do you mind if I use the formal vu and not the familiar two? And this is probably. I'm sure that was a governor's. And there was a whole audience just like, what the fuck is. What is this asshole doing? So, yeah, that, you know.

[Bill Maher]

So I guess we played the same venues. You just started slightly later than I did. So we missed each other on that circuit.

[Bill Burr]

We missed each other. When did you start?

[Bill Maher]

I started in 79 and moved out to LA in 83.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, you got. So you got to experience the boom.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

You got to experience the boom years.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. I remember when midsize Cities had, like, four comedy clubs. Like Columbus, Ohio, would have four comedy clubs.

[Bill Burr]

I started in the summer of 88, and I got the tiniest taste of the boom, and then I watched the boom collapse.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, that was the collapse.

[Bill Burr]

That was the collapse.

[Bill Maher]

A lot of the art that I have in my house, I'm ashamed to admit. Listen to this. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I'm also kind of proud. Bud Friedman of the improv fame.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, Bud.

[Bill Maher]

Like, during the boom, he opened, like, many improv franchises around the country.

[Bill Burr]

Way too many.

[Bill Maher]

And when it busted, when it boomed, he bought a big trophy house in Beverly Hills and filled it with art. You know, he was newly married to his second wife. I loved Alex and still love her. And, you know, they wanted to. They were like. They were like, you know, we're now in this realm. We're now in this echelon. We're in Beverly Hills. We're not like the owner of the improv.

[Bill Burr]

And we.

[Bill Maher]

And we like it. Yeah. So when it busted, he took me around his house and said, I'll tell you this for 300 bucks. And I. And I have in my house to this day, like, I'm going to say. I don't want to say priceless art. It certainly wasn't priceless, but I'm just saying I got it as a beneficiary of the bust in the comedy club.

[Bill Burr]

Circuit in the eventual. I don't want to say that anyone would do a biopic on Bud Freeman. But, hey, that would be an amazing scene in a movie set in the early 80s, the late 80s, as the bust happens. And it's just Bud Friedman leading you and Paul Reiser. And you can have this for, like, $200. It's a fricking Klee. Please, I need to get rid of this right now.

[Bill Maher]

And then to make it worse, about 10 years later.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, no.

[Bill Maher]

My friend Eddie the Hat, who was a art dealer, was dying.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, God.

[Bill Maher]

And he needed money, and he took me around his. But he had so many pieces.

[Bill Burr]

Are you. This art world angel of Death? What. What the fuck? Hey, how's Eddie the Hat doing? Well, listen, I don't want to say anything, but Bill Maher just went to his house.

[Bill Maher]

It was his idea. He said, I'll give you everything for just what I paid for it. And I bought $100,000 worth of, like. And a lot of it didn't even fit anywhere yet.

[Bill Burr]

What if you became slang in the art world? You don't stop smoking. Bill Maher's going to visit your house and look at your. Look at your collection.

[Bill Maher]

I didn't plan it. I'm just, like the vulture of the art world. Like, when I. When I.

[Bill Burr]

You're waiting.

[Bill Maher]

When I see that you're going down. I mean, look, it's not like anyone's going to need those bones that I'm picking at.

[Bill Burr]

It's.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I mean, they're. Why not pick at them?

[Bill Burr]

I'm. I'm sorry, but some of this furniture that you have in this room. I don't know. By the way, you still have the sniper angle. I watched a lot of these episodes, and there's a frigging camera angle that is a hired killer behind one of these. One of these pillars about to kill. It's the weirdest angle to have for a talk show. Are you reminding your guest that all glory is fleeting? Like, anyone can kill you at any second? Why is this angle back here?

[Bill Maher]

I don't know. I just love that this whole room, you know, I had this room fitted out by a crew that did, like, Big Brother. Like, literally, like, those kind of.

[Bill Burr]

I said, that makes a lot of sense.

[Bill Maher]

I said, if I'm gonna do a.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, it's all coming together now, a podcast.

[Bill Maher]

I'm gonna do it. Like, not like the other podcasts, where you actually see the mic and, like, you feel like you're on, you know? Cause other podcasts, honestly, most of them just look like talk shows. They just took the talk show format, they moved it onto the podcast and it's just. But it's like someone with a microphone and cards with questions. That's not what we're doing here. We're just. We're just.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Are you drinking, dude?

[Bill Burr]

This is. Which camera is mine?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, right there. Could I introduce or the one that's going to shoot you in the head.

[Bill Burr]

Hi there, hired killer. You know, when you get the shakes from killing too many people that couldn't keep their mouths shut, you want to turn to the soothing copper pot. Distilled McCarthy single malt whiskey. It's made in Portland, Oregon by the Clear Creek Distillery. And it's the only American single malt whiskey. And it's the one that I always trust. McCarthy's. It's good for you and it'll keep those demons from coming at night.

[Bill Maher]

And that's why I like to hang out with comedians.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bill Maher]

Let's see a banker do that.

[Bill Burr]

But some of these, some of this furniture. I'm having weird flashbacks to green rooms in comedy clubs. Is this stuff because I saw the Catcher Rising star sign. Did you salvage stuff from.

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, okay.

[Bill Maher]

No, my girl Ashley.

[Bill Burr]

Because wasn't there for a while. There was a weird design style book for comedy clubs in the 80s that was the same.

[Bill Maher]

That's in the book too, about, you know, there's a funny passage where he first walks into the club and wherever he was on the road and like it was the Groucho on the wall in neon. WC Fields and you know, Charlie Chappell.

[Bill Burr]

And you remember Andy Kindler's joke about that.

[Bill Maher]

As if. As if we were following in their books.

[Bill Burr]

Yes, but his joke was, why drag them into it? What did they do? Why do they have to be part of this?

[Bill Maher]

You know, as if we were following in the footsteps of W.C. fields.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Oh, yes, this is true. I'm the continuation.

[Bill Maher]

Charlie, Jacqueline, W.C. fields, these geniuses of comedy.

[Bill Burr]

And then Patton Oswalt yammering about a date that went wrong. Right. By the way, talking about dealing with crowds. There's this great Andy Kindler set on the. On David Letterman where. And he. It's like his third set because he went on twice and killed in his third set. There's a chunk of it that just. He's getting nothing. Nothing. This is a Letterman set. And then he does a joke and it's a very weird joke and it gets nothing. And then he just says, folks, I don't write this stuff. And then people just explode. It's like he handled what you said, a bad crowd. But on national tv It's. I'm sorry. It's an amazing moment, but those moments of. You must have so many memories of someone that was dealing with a bad crowd and then turned it around on a horrible night where you're like, this night could have been this forgotten Thursday night. And then I turned the last 15 minutes into something transcendent. That's why we keep doing it.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's not why I kept doing it. I mean, I don't want that painful experience for me. No, I would love it. And luckily, in the last, oh, God knows how many years of doing this, I never had a bad moment because I was older and the crowd liked me to begin with, and I was. And I'm a professional, and I didn't. You know, but in those first 10 years, I mean, there's so many nights like that, and I never. I don't remember any instances. Instances of what you're talking about, of turning it around. What I. You could call it that. What I'm. I saw and what I learned to do with a bad crowd is just stay with it. Just don't acknowledge it. And if you don't acknowledge it, my problem at the beginning was I would acknowledge it immediately and blame them. What's wrong with you idiots? You're not getting that. Great joke. I just.

[Bill Burr]

You got to get over that. Yeah, but it takes a while to get over that because you're so.

[Bill Maher]

It took me a very long time. And what you can do is if you just. First of all, you have to keep in mind the audience doesn't know they're bad because they're not comparing it to any other audience. They're not a professional audience person. Oh, yeah, I remember that. They're there on this one night. They think they're doing great. You were remembering. You were remembering last night in Chicago when they were awesome, and now you're here and they suck. And you can't blame them for that.

[Bill Burr]

You know, it's amazing. There's a generation of comedians that can call up their own TikTok account in front of an audience ago. This is the audience last night. You guys are wrong. Watch this. Just watch. Like, they could show you that.

[Bill Maher]

Do they?

[Bill Burr]

No, I'm just saying if they wanted to, they could see.

[Bill Maher]

That's what I always wanted to.

[Bill Burr]

You wanted to show them footage of.

[Bill Maher]

See, I just started to get hard when you said that. That would. That's like such a lifelong dream that I wanted.

[Bill Burr]

We'll be right back.

[Bill Maher]

After this word from McLaren or after McCarthy, please. Are you invested in this company.

[Bill Burr]

No, I just.

[Bill Maher]

You just like them.

[Bill Burr]

They're so tasty.

[Bill Maher]

Bless you.

[Bill Burr]

McCarthy's has that great. It's a great combination of. It doesn't quite have the smokiness of Lagavulin, but there's smoke and it doesn't quite have the sweetness of Akintoshen, but it's sweet. It is the fuck. They nailed the. This. This is a Molotov cocktail made out of hugs. That's what McCarthy says.

[Bill Maher]

I hate to keep going back to this theme.

[Bill Burr]

Go ahead.

[Bill Maher]

But I just think you're more cultured than me. I mean, you're like, I don't talk about liquor this way. I don't talk about movies, comics, music, and it's okay.

[Bill Burr]

But I. But I'm just.

[Bill Maher]

It doesn't make you a bad person.

[Bill Burr]

Enthusiastic about stuff. And when I. I'm one of those guys that if I like something, then I got to know everything about it. You know what I mean? Like, then I gotta go back and listen to everything or watch everything if.

[Bill Maher]

There'S a YouTube, like, get into the.

[Bill Burr]

YouTube for as far as YouTube can take you. But there's a lot of stuff that you gotta. Either go to the. You still gotta. I'm very, very happy that there are certain things still gotta. Go to the record store and find the vinyl. Still gotta. I'm also very lucky that I'm friends with people like Blaine Kapatch, who is my entry into all this obscure music. I've become friends. Do you want to listen to a podcast called A History of Rock and roll in 500 songs?

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, dude. This guy, Andrew Hickey, who I become friends with, and he knows every little side road about every song you've ever. It's fascinating, and I just love learning all the stories.

[Bill Maher]

Does he have the right 500 songs that he's talking about? Because, like, here's the thing.

[Bill Burr]

He even does an episode where he goes, this is called A History of Rock and roll in 500 songs. It is not the history. It is my history. And a lot of this is wrong.

[Bill Maher]

It's not wrong.

[Bill Burr]

And you should argue with it.

[Bill Maher]

It's not wrong. It's just personal. Like, the silliest thing you can ever say to somebody, I think, is, you know, you don't like this song.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, well, that was. Again, that was me in my twenties and I now.

[Bill Maher]

Sure.

[Bill Burr]

But maturing is now going. I used to go like, you haven't seen Apocalypse Now? But now I'm like, oh, you haven't. You're gonna get to See it for the first time. I'm never gonna get to do that again. I'm really excited. Like, damn. I would give anything to see that movie for the first time again. So, like, as you get older, you get that, you know. Oh, it's. I'm not trying to win any argument. There's so much, like, so much of comedy and culture, they've added this weird sports element to it of this person wins, this person owns or this person. It is different every single day. There's no best actor, there's no best comedian. It's everyone doing their best job every single day. And some days you can just nail it, and other days you don't. And it doesn't end the world. And you keep showing up and doing it, and that's the best way to pursue art.

[Bill Maher]

And also.

[Bill Burr]

And I wish it wasn't. I wish it just wasn't ranked all.

[Bill Maher]

The time, I think. I mean, you have much more experience with acting than I do.

[Bill Burr]

And you were in DC Cab.

[Bill Maher]

I wasn't DC Cab.

[Bill Burr]

I'm never gonna top that.

[Bill Maher]

No, you did.

[Bill Burr]

You had the deal. You were in between Gary Busey and Mr. T. I mean, I can't.

[Bill Maher]

No. But you've had quite a career as an actor.

[Bill Burr]

Very lucky. Very lucky.

[Bill Maher]

Fuck up. No one's buying that. I'm very lucky. What are we on? Entertain. What are we on? Entertainment Tonight?

[Bill Burr]

No, they're. Listen, you're. There is an element of luck to everything.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, that's true. But you're also, like, I was gonna say, because you were going on about how, like, we have good days and bad days to the audience, we don't notice it. Like, I never once watched you and thought, boy, he's having a bad day. I'm like, he's doing his thing. Which works. I mean, that movie you did, the Big Fan.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, boy.

[Bill Maher]

Is a great movie. And that's maybe me being a cultural vulture, because that's not like, you know, I'm sure the biggest box office earner of that year.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, boy.

[Bill Maher]

But what a great movie. And also the one you did with Charlize.

[Bill Burr]

Charlize.

[Bill Maher]

What's that one? Adult.

[Bill Burr]

Young Adult.

[Bill Maher]

Young Adult is a awesome movie. And that. And your. I mean, yeah, you did it as good as anybody does.

[Bill Burr]

Well, that. With Charlize, that was really helpful because, yes, I did work very hard. I worked. That was the first time I really worked with an acting coach.

[Bill Maher]

That's another awesome movie. What? Adult World?

[Bill Burr]

No, the animated one that. No, no.

[Bill Maher]

Young Adult.

[Bill Burr]

Young Adult.

[Bill Maher]

So good.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, just such a. Like, you know, they make. Yes. Most movies are stupid and spandex and, you know, shooting rays at the end of your fingers, and I agree. But they still make these kind of movies.

[Bill Burr]

Absolutely, they still make them, and they always, always will.

[Bill Maher]

And there's a certain group of, like, you know, I'm sorry, but, you know, pharisees of the business who are mad at us because we won't see them in the theater. Like, you need to see it with a group of people, and it's better if everyone's laughing, you know? I don't give a shit if everyone's laughing. I care if I'm laughing.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know. I'm not gonna laugh' cause you're laughing, but I will.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, You're a culture vulture. You want them to go to the theater.

[Bill Burr]

It's a different experience if you go see it in a theater.

[Bill Maher]

I'm telling you, I'm not in bed. That's how different it is. I can't go to the bathroom for two seconds and come back to it. I can't snuggle.

[Bill Burr]

I mean, it's just moments in theaters with people that have changed the way I have looked at films and made those and reminded me how even deeper and more amazing those movies were because. And I'm sure there were people that I don't want to be will tell you, like, I got a deeper appreciation of this band because I saw them in concert. Like, okay, I'll give you an example.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's. Yes.

[Bill Burr]

I always thought PJ Harvey was perfectly fine. I liked her music. And then one night, I was at the Viper Room. I was going to go see a band called Metal Shop, which was this really fun band, and PJ Harvey went up with her bassist and just worked out the new songs from Songs from the City, Song from the Sea. Just the rawest. And it made me completely. I was like. I did not know this dimension of her.

[Bill Maher]

It would make me take heroin.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, again, she was amazing.

[Bill Maher]

I'm sure it was.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, my God. It's like my top five concert experiences.

[Bill Maher]

I'll bet it.

[Bill Burr]

Me and. Me and 40 people.

[Bill Maher]

I'm so opposite. I mean, we would definitely not be a good married couple.

[Bill Burr]

No. All we would do is fight.

[Bill Maher]

All we do is fight.

[Bill Burr]

But you know what? The liquor would make it okay. It would smooth out.

[Bill Maher]

The sex would be hot because it'd be like sex.

[Bill Burr]

Because it'd be so angry.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly.

[Bill Burr]

Be so angry. And you and I are at that weird. This isn't like you and Seth MacFarlane. We would fight over who's the bottom. Like, we could almost argue week to week, like, how is it changing? It would. Oh, it would always. We'd always be on the edge of our seats.

[Bill Maher]

It's true. That is the gayest relationship I had. That's not actually gay. Yeah, but I love him because it is that way. Yeah, it's great. But no. P.J. harvey. I know the name. I wouldn't know her if I fell over in my sleep. Maybe. She's fantastic. I'll give her a try. Also on your recommendation.

[Bill Burr]

Fucking fantastic.

[Bill Maher]

But the idea of liking something in its rawest form, I don't even like. Usually when they put out posthumous recordings of stuff where they were working on it, it's like, oh, no, a lot of that's terrible. But like, no, you made the right decision when you put out, you know, the version you put out generally. Like the Beatles put out anthology in 1995. They put out 25 years after they broke up. They said no, okay, we're go to the Vault. We're tired of people, first of all, just bootlegging it. Let's do it officially. And of course, anything Beatles is going to make a fortune. And it was great. And they put out two new tracks where the three of them did something that Lennon had.

[Bill Burr]

Those.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Free As a Burt.

[Bill Maher]

I like those songs.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, I hated those songs.

[Bill Maher]

I love those songs.

[Bill Burr]

Those songs were Necrophilia.

[Bill Maher]

Great pop songs. Necrophilia, Free As a Bird and what's the other one now?

[Bill Burr]

What was the other one?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I know it. I'm just stoned.

[Bill Burr]

I can't think, you know. Wait, you smoke weed?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Bill Mar.

[Bill Maher]

Do you.

[Bill Burr]

Are you cool saying this on camera? Bill Mar smokes weed.

[Bill Maher]

Caught on by now, I tell you, it's this country's dimmer than I thought it would be. But, like, they like in general. I listen to the. The outtakes, you know, the Other Bear. There's a couple where I would say they. I think they got it wrong. I like the. There's a version of Glass Onion from the White Album that I like better. There's a version of Good Morning, Good Morning, which is on sergeant Pepper, which is at least as good, a little more raw, without giving up any of the production value. One after 9:09, which they originally recorded when they were a young band and they never got to it.

[Bill Burr]

Wow.

[Bill Maher]

And then they put it. They did it on the Let It Be album, their last album. So they brought back something they were doing when they were A club band in 1963, and they're playing German strip clubs. And they did. Yeah, they were. And they did not do it as well as I thought the first time. Other than that, they basically got it right. They put out the best version.

[Bill Burr]

They and George Martin.

[Bill Maher]

It's like me, just the young man in the 22nd row. That's all I am.

[Bill Burr]

That's all I want. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And look, I.

[Bill Burr]

Listen, I get that. But I'm saying that when I'm talking about going to see a movie, you're not watching a raw thing. And. And someone like PJ Harvey, who is such a bust her ass writing songs, she wasn't going up going, I don't know if this is gonna work. Like, these were songs she was about to record and was ready to record and everything landed like a flechette grenade. It was amazing. 40 people in this room were just blown away.

[Bill Maher]

Well, you were.

[Bill Burr]

So those moments like that, I really live for those. Those moments when the artist themselves is just as surprised as the audience. Those are amazing moments.

[Bill Maher]

But I bet you my reaction would be, there's something here which is great. Now come back when you finish this record.

[Bill Burr]

By the way, listen, there are certain things for a while. I remember in the early in the mid-90s, they toured a version of the Big Sleep on Freeborough Arts. The Big Sleep. And they toured Howard Hawks.

[Bill Maher]

The Marlo novel.

[Bill Burr]

The Marlowe novel made into a movie with Howard Hawks.

[Bill Maher]

First Humphrey Bogart, right?

[Bill Burr]

No, not the first Humphrey Bogart. Humphrey Bogart played Sam Spade before that in Maltese Falcon.

[Bill Maher]

Isn't the Big Sleep Sam Spade?

[Bill Burr]

No, Big Sleep is Philip Marlowe.

[Bill Maher]

Philip Marlowe, right. Okay.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. So Philip Marlowe's.

[Bill Maher]

And it was redone with what's Barbra Streisand's first husband, Elliot Gould. But redone.

[Bill Burr]

Redone. No, no, no, no, no.

[Bill Maher]

Was it not.

[Bill Burr]

I don't want to be a nerd here, but no, tell me. Sam Spade is Dashiell Hammett, and that was the Falcon. And Maltese Falcon is a remake that had been made twice before, horribly. And then John Houston showed up and nailed it.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, really?

[Bill Burr]

And then Howard Hawks made the Big Sleep, and that's Philip Marlow, which is Raymond Chandler. Elliot Gould did the Long Goodbye, which is another Raymond Chandler. And that movie is incredible. And especially. It's incredible. Go back and watch it and think of it as Philip Marlo has for some reason zapped forward in time to early 70s LA and can't quite handle that he's zapped forward in time and is just kind of bulging his way through it. There are so many brilliant things going on in that movie. The original, the one that Robert Altman did.

[Bill Maher]

Robert Altman.

[Bill Burr]

But what I'm saying is the remake, they toured the big. Oh, the.

[Bill Maher]

Robert Altman did the Long Goodbye.

[Bill Burr]

Robert Altman did the Long Goodbye.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Bill Burr]

It's so good.

[Bill Maher]

Well, he's a very distinctive style.

[Bill Burr]

Yes. And he'd have.

[Bill Maher]

Love it. You know, mash, Mash. Great.

[Bill Burr]

It's great. But when you go back and watch it, you forget how absolutely mean spirited that film was. It's about a bunch of people that are basically in hell and they're just eating each other alive.

[Bill Maher]

I like the TV show better because that's me.

[Bill Burr]

The movie is brilliant, but the best. Altman is McCabe and Mrs. Miller and it's not even close.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, that's Warren Beatty.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah, it's. Oh, my God. Have you seen McCabe and Mrs. Miller?

[Bill Maher]

I. I'm sure I did. A million years ago.

[Bill Burr]

No, I know.

[Bill Maher]

It's a Western. There's a whore, right?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. He's trying to build a whorehouse.

[Bill Maher]

He's trying to build a whorehouse.

[Bill Burr]

That's the point, Bill, how have you not seen that? This is like.

[Bill Maher]

I think I just forgot a guy.

[Bill Burr]

Trying to build a whorehouse in a little town.

[Bill Maher]

I'm going to watch it tonight right after I listen to P.J.

[Bill Burr]

Harvey and. And Julie Christie shows up and hands him his ass. And it's like, you don't know what you're doing. Here's what you got to do. And it's.

[Bill Maher]

But the important part in real life is that he was fucking her.

[Bill Burr]

Well, why. Look, if you're. By the way, if you're Warren Beatty and Julie Christie in the early 70s, you both look at each other and go, we should fuck each other. I mean, who. What do we do at this point? We're the hottest people on the planet. What are we supposed to do? But getting back to the Big Sleep and I'll make it really quick. They toured a version of it where they toured the Howard Hawks cut where they tried to stay close to the novel. And there's the studio cut where the studio came in and went. More banter between Bogey and Bacall. Don't worry about the plot. Just have these two. And in that movie, their banter is sexy in today's terms. It's like, so flagrant. And you're like, I can't believe. Did audiences not know what they were talking about? You know, you watch the version that Howard Hawks shot and cut. Where he's like, I want this to adhere to the plot. You're like, sometimes the studio's right. Sometimes the studio comes in and goes, just these two flirting with each other.

[Bill Maher]

The studio's often right because it's their money.

[Bill Burr]

Well, I'm gonna disagree sometimes, not always.

[Bill Maher]

But like, who cut the Godfather? I don't know if it was. I mean, Robert Evans said it was him.

[Bill Burr]

Well, Robert Evans, let's take everything he said with a grain of salt for the gods. I mean, yes, Robert Evans, yes. He says he was the guy who rescued the Godfather. He's also the guy that made Jade and the in Laws and Phase four, for God's sakes. He's not. Let's not go to him for. Yeah, what's great cinema, Robert. I remember one time that's great. I told Coppola, you made a movie and you cut a drivet movie and you made a. You gotta go back, you gotta cut it again. That's what you gotta do.

[Bill Maher]

That's a dead on Robert Evans.

[Bill Burr]

Well, I do a whole. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I do a whole bit because I was obsessed with Robert Evans audiobook. The kids, we all were. I would drive the Hollywood hills just listening to it over and over again. And I do a whole bit about him because near the end. Remember at the end of his life when he did those radio ads for ESPN and they were so nonsensical and it almost had nothing to do with sports. I was just like, that guy should be hit honking everything.

[Bill Maher]

You know, Bob Odenkirk used to do a bit. Oh, you know the bit.

[Bill Burr]

Well, the biggest thing.

[Bill Maher]

God as Robert Evans sunsets. I make plenty of them, baby.

[Bill Burr]

This is dedicated to my son, Jesus. I learned something from you every day. He did this, but I did my Robert Evans for Mr. Show me the Robert Evans anyway.

[Bill Maher]

But yeah, it's such a good Robert Evans.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, well, because you. Basically, what I say is it's such.

[Bill Maher]

A great character to inhabit.

[Bill Burr]

Well, also because he was. He did so much coke, he was left with one vampire disco coke nostril at the end of his life. Like, what the fuck is he gonna. There's no other way for him to talk. I remember one time I was doing a film and Brian dead. He came into my trailer and he punched me right in the solar plexus. And I ejaculated my central nervous system. And that's like. He just. This story's made no sense.

[Bill Maher]

I used to Go over to his house.

[Bill Burr]

Wait, you met him?

[Bill Maher]

Met him?

[Bill Burr]

Did you hang on the street?

[Bill Maher]

I was in his bed a lot.

[Bill Burr]

He was always in his bed.

[Bill Maher]

He was always in his bed. I mean, I know that sounds, like, salacious, but nothing was going on there.

[Bill Burr]

No, he did all his business.

[Bill Maher]

There were eight people, like, watching some silly movie he wanted us to watch or some silly, like.

[Bill Burr]

Yep. You got to do that.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, many times.

[Bill Burr]

God fucking damn it. I'm gonna need three more bottles of scotch. Yeah, so he would. I had a friend that took a meeting over at his house. You know the house with all the flowers and the fountain?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I know it well.

[Bill Burr]

That Jack Nicholson bought for him. That made. Because remember, he lost the house and Jack Nicholson went, I'm buying it back for you.

[Bill Maher]

Is that the hot tub where Jack Nicholson, like, pimped out? Who's this?

[Bill Burr]

No, that was at Nicholson's house. That was not at. Hey, who am I thinking? That's not the spurge. Robert Evans here. Okay.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, no.

[Bill Burr]

But no, you're thinking of Roman Polanski.

[Bill Maher]

Roman Polanski.

[Bill Burr]

It was in Nicholson's hot tub.

[Bill Maher]

It was in Nicholson's hot tub.

[Bill Burr]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

See, if you leave a bar and you're drunk, they can sue the bar. I'm not sure that shouldn't apply to hot tubs. And I love Jack Nicholson, but I'm just. I'm just asking as a question, like, if someone gets in the ass in your hot tub, or is the hot tub owner somewhat responsible?

[Bill Burr]

See, these are the cases the Supreme Court should be hearing, not this about. We're litigating the 2020 election. We need to bring back the. A friend of mine had a meeting over at Robert Evans house. He was pitching them something, and at one point she went to use. She goes, I need the restroom. He goes, well, it's down the hall. And she goes on the hall, and she passes a room, and there's this huge dining room at the end of the table. Slash from Guns and Roses is sitting there eating sausages. No one's around him. He's just eating sausages. And then she went. And then she went back and she felt like if it. And it was like 1:30 in the afternoon. She goes, I felt like if it was 1:30 and slash wasn't eating sausages, something had gone horribly wrong. On the way back. Did you see Slash eating sausages? No, I didn't see anybody. Okay, I gotta go call the police right now. Cause something's gone terribly wrong. If you're a smoker, or vaper ready to make a change? You really only need one good reason. But with Zyn nicotine pouches, you'll discover many good reasons. Zynn is America's number one nicotine pouch brand. Plus Zynn offers a robust rewards program. There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfaction, but there's only one Zyn. Check out zyn.com find to find Zyn at a store near you. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Bill Maher]

Cash is a thing of the past. It just is. It's all about tapt pay now. So there's no reason to have that George Costanza bill fold filled to the brim bulging out of your back pocket anymore. We've all been there. Now it's time to make the upgrade to Ridge. This is the Ridge 2.0, the most refined version of their wallet. It's 10% lighter, super slim and somehow still holds up to 12 cards plus some cash. If you're still old school like me. You also don't have to worry about fading leather anymore with Ridge because their wallets are made from premium materials. Aluminum, titanium or even carbon fiber. Already have a wallet, no problem. Ridge also makes everyday essentials like key cases, suitcases and power banks to charge your phone with. So with the holidays coming, I know you'll find the perfect gift for every wish list. For a limited time, Ridge is having their huge huge Black Friday sale. Head to r idge.com to get up to 47% off your order. This is by far the biggest discount they've given all year. That's ridge.com for up to 47% off your order during their biggest sale of the year. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you.

[Bill Burr]

You. As a raider scavenging a derelict world, you settle into an underground settlement.

[Bill Maher]

But now you must return to the.

[Bill Burr]

Surface where arc machines roam. If you're brave enough, who knows what you might find. Arc Raiders, a multiplayer extraction adventure video game. Buy now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series. Series X and S and PC. Rated T for teen.

[Bill Maher]

No, I mean show people. If you.

[Bill Burr]

There's no people like show people.

[Bill Maher]

There are not. There really are not. I mean that's literally true. If people think that they are different, you're right. Like that whole stars are just like us. They're not.

[Bill Burr]

No, they're not.

[Bill Maher]

For both good and bad.

[Bill Burr]

Exactly. Good and bad.

[Bill Maher]

I mean they. They are.

[Bill Burr]

Athletes are not like us. Athletes. Everyone. Everyone that that, that, that, like, criticizes. Oh, my God. Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan needed to be as crazy as he was to be the champion. He needed to think.

[Bill Maher]

Why do you think he's crazy? Because he got a lot of pussy?

[Bill Burr]

No, because the way he thought about it, he could not ever lose. It was a mania with him, but it made him what he was. He was a. He had that genius. But when you're touched by that genius, he. A lot of people, they, they try to make bargains with it, like, oh, I gotta be normal. And he's like, but I'm not normal, right? I, I'm a genius and I'm at another level and I'm just gonna accept it.

[Bill Maher]

Right? And that's also was why, like, he loved gambling.

[Bill Burr]

He could, I mean that. But that's what made him brilliant.

[Bill Maher]

The gambling.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. No, no, no, not yet. Kids, you know, gambling is a great. Is a. Is a shortcut to greatness. No, he, he couldn't. He couldn't not be the best in the room. Remember that there's that. Weren't they shooting, like free throws? And everyone. He missed, like, these kids would get like a certain amount of money for like some orphanage. And he didn't miss it. He was like, I, I, But I'm right, I can't. I'm Michael Jordan. You picked the wrong guy to do this. Anyone else would happily go, whoops. And he's like.

[Bill Maher]

But I'm kind of like. That was Obama. He used to have this pickup game. Pickup game.

[Bill Burr]

I heard he was vicious.

[Bill Maher]

That he would do. No, quite the opposite. That, that he would do for pleasure, obviously. It's like, you know, like some people. Trump plays golf 10 times a week. He. Obama didn't play golf. He wanted to play basketball. Yeah, but instead of just having the kind of game I have here when I play a pickup game which is relaxed and fun and we don't.

[Bill Burr]

We're being goofballs.

[Bill Maher]

We're being goofballs. And we. It was like ex NBA players and they had a ref and it was full court and he would only take like three shots a game. It's like, why is that fun? You have the weight of the world on your shoulders and then you play this super serious game. But again, it's your point. They can't let it go. That's the Scorpion. That's who I am.

[Bill Burr]

But sometimes that is what makes a champion. That's what makes. Of course, certain people have to do that.

[Bill Maher]

Right?

[Bill Burr]

We need that.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, he was that he like the way he was able to never take the bait. I mean, they tried every which way to get him to be the stereotype they wanted him to be.

[Bill Burr]

And after a while, it was so clear. He was having so much fun doing that. He could see them putting the bait on the hook from miles away, like, oh, okay, I'm going to let them think I'm getting close and I'm just going to fuck with them.

[Bill Maher]

I'm not sure it was always that much fun having to.

[Bill Burr]

No, it was fun for us to watch. For him, I'm sure he was, like, enraged.

[Bill Maher]

I remember once, it was just such a. I loved that moment. It was a state of the union.

[Bill Burr]

I know the one you're talking about.

[Bill Maher]

Really.

[Bill Burr]

And he goes, I have no more races to run. And they all started clapping. He goes, I know. Cause I want them. Exactly.

[Bill Maher]

You're right. We could be married. You're finishing my sentences, Meredith.

[Bill Burr]

Let's listen. We gotta.

[Bill Maher]

No. He said, yeah. And I won both of them. It was like.

[Bill Burr]

I know. I won both of them.

[Bill Maher]

It was like the ultimate mic drop, fuck you, here's my dick in your ass moment.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And the fact that he was so restrained at ever doing that and then did it just at the right moment. I mean, he's on a level. I always said he was the Jackie Robinson of American politics, because he was. Not only because he broke the color barrier, but because he did it the way Jackie Robinson did, which was, you can't take the base.

[Bill Burr]

Unflappable.

[Bill Maher]

They're going to scream at you in Cincinnati when you're on first base. The whole stadium is going to be yelling the N word, and you just have to forget about it and steal second.

[Bill Burr]

And. Yeah, I mean, and he did. It was so.

[Bill Maher]

And Obama did.

[Bill Burr]

Nothing was more fun than when they would try to. They think they would find something that would own him. Like the picture of him in college smoking. And they would release the photos, and it was the coolest fucking photo you've. Like, I would. I would pay a stylist a thousand dollars and they would not make me look that good. And he's just sitting in a dorm having a cigarette. Like, right, you wouldn't. And then, like, the next day, they're like, they would never mention again because everyone's like, guy looks fucking awesome.

[Bill Maher]

Fuck.

[Bill Burr]

God damn it. Like, I just love. Every attempt to try to own him just backfired so horribly. And by the way, it was the same thing with aoc. Remember when they found the damning video of AOC dancing And drinking with her friends on the roof at college. They're like, and this is a congressperson. And she looks so happy and beautiful and cool. And you're like, oh, they think this is ending her career because they never did this.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, but she.

[Bill Burr]

They were never that comfortable to do this.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. And if she had some deprogramming, she could be such a fantastic candidate.

[Bill Burr]

What do you mean, deprogramming?

[Bill Maher]

Well, she just doesn't. She's never going to resonate with people outside of the bubble that she lives in, in the very, very far left. Well, and that, I mean, the New York Times, of all people, the people I've been, like, squabbling with for the last seven, eight, ten years, whatever, when I was all about, you know, Democrats have gone too far left. They just put out a huge editorial basically saying exactly what I've been saying.

[Bill Burr]

What, that she's too far left?

[Bill Maher]

Yes. And that the only way the Democrats will ever win again, not that the Republicans are probably going to give it back, is to be more moderate. But we don't have to argue about her. I mean, she has.

[Bill Burr]

If people think she's too far left, then that shows another way this country's broken right now.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I don't think it's necessarily broken in that way, but it just shows how the country is not there. That is not where the country is. And if you don't, unfortunately.

[Bill Burr]

Okay, that's the one thing, and I hate to admit this, this country is not as mature as it thinks it is. We elected Obama and clearly the country freaked out. We're still living in that freakout. We are not as progressed and evolved and intelligent as we think we are. Because we keep freaking out.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

About this stuff.

[Bill Maher]

Well, you know, the left freak out, too. The left freaked out about a lot of. Too.

[Bill Burr]

What did they, what did they freak out about?

[Bill Maher]

Gender, race, parenthood, schools, homelessness, crime, the border, education. Like, we were not. We stopped being a scientific people. Like, it's not scientific.

[Bill Burr]

But the left certainly stayed scientific.

[Bill Maher]

No, they didn't.

[Bill Burr]

Why not?

[Bill Maher]

Because they think gender. That they went way too far with. That's not scientific.

[Bill Burr]

But how do I. How do they go too far with, like, gender stuff? And I'm not trying to.

[Bill Maher]

Instead of. Well, if I was teaching children, what I would teach them is there is a default setting for the human being, which is heterosexuality. But not. That doesn't mean every person is that. And we should completely respect everyone who isn't that. But we understand that that's called a minority. And what makes us a great country is that we respect minorities. We don't think they're lesser just because they're lesser in numbers. That's not what we started to teach, which was that every baby is. I don't know. Let's not even put it on the birth certificate. That's what they wanted.

[Bill Burr]

Were we teaching that?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

When were we teaching that?

[Bill Maher]

Teaching it. It was a law here in California, see?

[Bill Burr]

To teach what?

[Bill Maher]

Don't put sex on the birth certificate. We'll see now. We've passed that period now where.

[Bill Burr]

I don't. I'm sorry, I don't remember that.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I know, because it doesn't get in the blue sky bubble.

[Bill Burr]

Wait a minute. I'm not just a blue sky.

[Bill Maher]

I really think that's a lot of it, is that some of this stuff doesn't get in to everybody's media.

[Bill Burr]

I'm just. I'm of a mind because I remember the African American community was always saying, there's brutality from the cops. Everyone said, oh, that's ridiculous. Stop it. This is all myth. And then cops started wearing body cameras, and lo and behold, there's all this footage of violence towards black people.

[Bill Maher]

There was also a lot of footage of violence that they did on white people, but that didn't make it into videos. You see, nobody cared about that. Not that it excuses the other.

[Bill Burr]

I'm just saying whenever a minority expresses fear and trepidation and like, hey, please help us. This is going on, I tend now to believe them. I tend now to believe the minority. I always believe whenever they say, hey, this is going on. And this is really terrifying now. If you're saying the left went too far with gender, maybe that was a function of, okay, these people are scared. They're being targeted, and they're being. We're watching them be targeted right now. We're watching transgender people be targeted in a very aggressive way. So we are. Oh, my God.

[Bill Maher]

Where are they being targeted? I mean, like, everybody is being targeted to a degree, I feel like.

[Bill Burr]

But not scapegoated the way that transgender people are.

[Bill Maher]

Scapegoated for what? Who's scapegoating?

[Bill Burr]

Every. Every shooting is a transgender person.

[Bill Maher]

The ones.

[Bill Burr]

That's how they frame it, though, and that's how they're. You talked about my blue sky bubble, but the Newsmax O on Fox bubble is. That's what's feeding those people.

[Bill Maher]

Sweetheart, my editorial last week was tearing.

[Bill Burr]

He called me sweetheart.

[Bill Maher]

Was tearing Fox News a new asshole.

[Bill Burr]

Good.

[Bill Maher]

Because they reported on this.

[Bill Burr]

I'm not Saying you're doing this.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just saying in general. No, no, I'm just saying it pissed me off so much that I did a whole thing on it where I had done an editorial a couple weeks earlier which was about, let's have a grand bargain where the WOKE stops with their far left bullshit on the WOKE stuff, and the right wing stops being authoritarian and trying to just change the nature of this country. And they only reported the first half. They only reported the part where I was tearing the left a new asshole. And I said, you fucking liars, stop doing this. You do this every week because they.

[Bill Burr]

Want you on their side. They want any celebrity on their side.

[Bill Maher]

Who wants to please their readers and listeners, who want.

[Bill Burr]

But they also want to say, bill's on our side, he gets it.

[Bill Maher]

Correct. But the left wing does it to me too, because they want people to think I'm a conservative. So they'll only report the part that I say about criticizing the left, which is just as gross. It's all gross. Anytime you're lying, you're gross to me. You're an asshole and I hate you. Just be honest and whatever it is, we can talk. But once you start lying, I'm over you. I'm completely over you. So, you know, sincere disagreements. Yes.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Anyway, we're gonna disagree on this, but that's fine. That's fine, that's fine.

[Bill Maher]

That's what friends do.

[Bill Burr]

But also, it just feels like, have you. I mean, obviously you've heard the term extinction burst.

[Bill Maher]

Extinction burst.

[Bill Burr]

Where before a thing dies, like, let's say the dinosaurs, that's when they become the loudest and the most violent and crazy. And it's like right before the Civil Rights act passed, that's when the hoses and the dogs and the billy clubs came out because they knew the change was coming. Just like you said earlier, an audience can be this weird organism that the dominant people can kind of sense and they guide the thing. When an extinction burst comes, that side, in this case, the old, very, very conservative, very, very kind of anti gay, anti woke side, knows that its time is becoming limited. So they do their biggest, loudest, most violent, you know, thing. And I feel like that's what we're seeing right now.

[Bill Maher]

There is. There is definitely a lot of that. For sure. There is definitely a lot of, oh, this country is becoming something we don't recognize anymore. And some of that is valid. I mean, what's going on in England right now is that is a lot of that. I mean, like, what's going on in England again, not in the bubble. Okay, well, doesn't get in the bubble.

[Bill Burr]

Don't wait, disagree.

[Bill Maher]

But it really doesn't. It's a big. I don't, I don't even want to start with it, but it's like just a lot of violence, protests, immigration, cities that Andrew Sullivan, for example, says are places that my grandfather would not even recognize anymore as British. Like immigration is great.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Anything can be too much and like it's become Islamicized, to put it briefly.

[Bill Burr]

Anything can be too much. But a lot of times the way that things are framed and represented is also amplified so that they can make their point.

[Bill Maher]

But like, do you know about the, what do they call it when they get kids to like, you know, grooming? The grooming scandal? No, see, that's a big story.

[Bill Burr]

This is in the UK.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. That went on from like the 80s to the present and it wasn't a drug.

[Bill Burr]

You're talking about the Royal Family.

[Bill Maher]

No, I'm not. I'm talking about Pakistani men who were immigrants who were grooming poor, impoverished white girls mostly in these things and making them into prostitutes and sex slaves and like really nasty shit that would pass for more normal in a traditional Pakistani society where women are not considered equal citizens. And if you don't understand that and that gender apartheid is the number one issue that you woke people should be concerned with but seem not to be, then you then right away we're not really seeing the world as the same way. And I think I'm seeing it much more clearly. Gender apartheid should be your number one issue if you really care about oppression, like a lot. I'm talking about hundreds of millions of the world's women and it's mostly because of the tenets of Islam, to be perfectly honest about it. And this is what's going on in England and this is why England is having a big problem these days. Because in the interest of dei, they are allowing practices that are so illiberal, which is the great irony that this is the least liberal thing you could be is treating women as a second class citizen and getting away and getting away with shit like this.

[Bill Burr]

I'm not. Yeah, I'm not someone that wants to slam a steel door down on stuff that I don't know about or agree with. We, we have each other's emails. I'll read, send me stuff to read.

[Bill Maher]

And I'll, I'll listen to PJ Harvey.

[Bill Burr]

What you and we'll be totally even.

[Bill Maher]

You're really. I should read up about uk?

[Bill Burr]

No, no, but What I'm saying is a lot of the legitimate things that you're probably talking about right now are also being weaponized and amplified to use against people in this country that shouldn't be being attacked now or vilified or made to feel unsafe.

[Bill Maher]

But it concerns me that this didn't get on your radar. Because if, like, something can't get on your radar, somebody who is as perceptive, intelligent understanding of what a broad perspective.

[Bill Burr]

But when you say my radar, like, what. What am I not reading or seeing that, like, where. Where is this being reported?

[Bill Maher]

I'll tell you.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, let me know. You know, I read the Guardian. I read the. You know, I.

[Bill Maher]

Far left.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, well, okay. Far left, but it's still far. Standards.

[Bill Maher]

But they don't. They don't.

[Bill Burr]

But if you're telling me to read the Sun, I'm not going to read the sun about this.

[Bill Maher]

The Free Press, there's a place that plays it both ways. Okay, I want to go back to something more important. You say the dinosaurs went apeshit at the end. I mean, I want to know exactly what that looked like. You say the dinosaurs because they knew the end was coming. Yeah, like, what are we talking about?

[Bill Burr]

Well, they started. Their podcast went crazy. No, it was that after whatever the media hit down in, was it New Mexico or Arizona, and the climate started changing. Suddenly these weird little furry mutant mammal things that were hiding in the bushes while the lizards roamed the savannah. Yeah, the savannah, or whatever the human thing was. They did, I'm sure the last Triceratops or T. Rex, I don't know what different epochs they were in. I know there was the Jurassic and the Cetacean and stuff like that, but I'm sure the last one that went down in the tar pit made the loudest noise and then the quiet little mammals came in and then we. That was us. That was us hiding in the bushes, waiting for these terrifying lizards to go away. And then we took over.

[Bill Maher]

We weren't around. There was no us.

[Bill Burr]

No, no. Our ancestors were those little furry stinky mammals in the bush. That was our ancestors.

[Bill Maher]

Stinky mammals? Dead people?

[Bill Burr]

No, no, no, no, no. Not people. But it's all part of a community.

[Bill Maher]

Because you're talking about 250 million years ago.

[Bill Burr]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

And when did humans make their emergence? Like 100,000 years ago. I mean, very real. Homo sapiens are very recent.

[Bill Burr]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I mean, humans.

[Bill Burr]

And the Anthropocene is even more recently. Where we actually get to affect the planet is even more recent.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, Lucy Remember when they found.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Lucy, the fossil?

[Bill Maher]

Lucy was 2.5 million years ago. So again, that's a long way from the dinosaurs. But Lucy was. They found her, what, in the 80s, about 4 foot 2 woman. But she was this humanoid. Like walked upright. Yeah, but short and to the point.

[Bill Burr]

Short and to the point. I'm just saying that we are seeing. When you say humanoid, we are seeing blank. I don't know what the term is. OID version of where humanity and culture is going to evolve to in the next hundred years. And the people that can't let go of that. And it gets back to my thing about John Wayne and the Searchers. There's needs to be a generation that is. Maybe Gen X will be able to do that to walk the away and go, I did my part and get the out of the way.

[Bill Maher]

I got to see the Searchers.

[Bill Burr]

You've never seen the Searchers.

[Bill Maher]

And I feel bad about it.

[Bill Burr]

Well, no, no, really, I'm.

[Bill Maher]

Again, is it John Ford?

[Bill Burr]

John Ford? John Wayne. And I'm. I'm really jealous you've never seen the.

[Bill Maher]

Searchers because I have the experience and you don't.

[Bill Burr]

You're gonna get. Fuck. You're gonna get. I've seen that movie. I'm actually really pissed you're gonna get to see the Searchers.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

I'll have you over. I have a. I have a little screening room in my house. I. I want to watch the Searchers with you. I want to see how you react to it.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, God.

[Bill Burr]

Is that a story where it starts. No, it's not gonna. Okay, Meredith, I see where this is going. It's.

[Bill Maher]

No, you're in love with your wife. I saw you out together.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, my God. Yeah, we. We were.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, we had that dinner and you were like awesome. You were uxurious. Do you know that word?

[Bill Burr]

Uxurious? I don't know that word.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[Bill Burr]

What's uxurious?

[Bill Maher]

It's luxurious without the L. And it means excessively devoted to your wife.

[Bill Burr]

I can't take my eyes off of her.

[Bill Maher]

That's Auria.

[Bill Burr]

She is. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You should put that in a card to her.

[Bill Burr]

I'm going to. I got to say, I am. I treat. I treat you luxuriously and. And always will.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And do you get rewarded for that?

[Bill Burr]

I. Hopefully this will be the thing that pushes me over the edge. By the way, she. She was one of the last people that saw Orson Welles before he died.

[Bill Maher]

I watched the Third man last night.

[Bill Burr]

No, he didn't direct it.

[Bill Maher]

No, I Always thought he did, but he. His company.

[Bill Burr]

But he wrote. He wrote the whole cuckoo clock monologue, which is one of the best monologues ever, ever, ever.

[Bill Maher]

Unbelievable. And that ending sequence in the sewers, which they've redone. Not redone, but ripped off. Not only have they redone Marathon man, there's. There's other ones where they're in the sewers.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, they've reused.

[Bill Maher]

Now everybody wants to be in the sewer.

[Bill Burr]

They've. They've reused that footage in movies. I just watched a terrible Lon Chaney movie called the Indestructible man, and they use shots from the third man in the sewers as her chasing him. They're just like, well, we need the couple of shots. We're not going to go down the sewers. Let's just use. Carol Reed did it.

[Bill Maher]

I'm very curious. When you get into bed with your luxurious wife and you decide at the end of the night, what are we going to watch? Right? Because every couple has to do.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

What do you. Now you just said you watched. What. What did you just watch?

[Bill Burr]

Like, oh, I didn't watch her. I didn't watch the Indestructible man with my wife. She's like, I'm not fucking watching this.

[Bill Maher]

How do you decide what to watch when you have these kind of cultivated tastes that you do?

[Bill Burr]

We will.

[Bill Maher]

Because me, like, I don't have this problem.

[Bill Burr]

Well, that's.

[Bill Maher]

Actually, I'm not cultured like you either.

[Bill Burr]

We will watch something new. We went and saw one battle after the other in VistaVision at the Vista. You see that in a theater?

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Bill Burr]

Have you seen it?

[Bill Maher]

I have not seen it, but I am prepared to see it.

[Bill Burr]

You haven't seen.

[Bill Maher]

I'm prepared to shit on it. You get to everybody who I know, who I trust, who saw it, tells me it's too, like, stupid woke, but I'm reserving judgment. I have not seen it. That's not my opinion.

[Bill Burr]

The people who think it's Stupid Woke do not under. Oh, my God. All right.

[Bill Maher]

It's not my opinion. I haven't seen it.

[Bill Burr]

No, no, I know.

[Bill Maher]

I can't wait to see it, but I'm.

[Bill Burr]

Again, I'm jealous. You'll get to see this.

[Bill Maher]

That's almost the exact opposite of the truth. I totally can wait to see it. That's why I don't go to see movies in the theaters. They all come to my bed, go.

[Bill Burr]

To the Vista and see with a.

[Bill Maher]

Audience if I was. Oh, an audience. I don't want an audience.

[Bill Burr]

There's a moment at the end of the. You know what?

[Bill Maher]

I'll bring an audience into my bedroom. How about that? I'll bring like 10 people, a focus group. It's like, you stay over there. You stay over there.

[Bill Burr]

There's a moment at the end of the Searchers. I saw it one year at the New Beverly. This is back in the 90s, like the fifth time I saw it. And there's a very specific moment in that movie when it happens. And the two. The couple that, the. The young 20 something couple behind me gasped and they were like, you know, they clearly had that energy about them of like, someone said, this movie's important, I should go see it. And they were watching it. And then they're enthralled with it. And then when the thing happens, they were like, oh, fuck, like, it's amazing.

[Bill Maher]

It did blow their mind.

[Bill Burr]

You said it actually blew their mind. And it will blow your mind too, Only because most of the movies you love from the early 70s are just remakes of the Searcher, of Searchers, Close Encounters, Taxi Driver, Hardcore Star wars are just remakes of the Searchers.

[Bill Maher]

That's such a broad buffet.

[Bill Burr]

Isn't that insane? But when you watch a movie, you're like this. Oh, my God. They just kept remakes making the Searchers.

[Bill Maher]

I don't want to spoil it for myself and the audience and ask what this connecting tissue is that makes the Searchers also relevant to those four other movies. Because they're so different those movies.

[Bill Burr]

Someone is there. Someone is trying to rescue someone who does not want to be rescued.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Bill Burr]

And the Rescuer is more about. Doesn't realize to the very end, oh, I'm trying to rescue. It's something that's missing in me.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. Did you see 50 first dates?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, my God. What the.

[Bill Maher]

Cuz I feel like that's very much the same thing.

[Bill Burr]

I need to go put my head in the toilet. Wait, sorry, no, wait. Did you say.

[Bill Maher]

No, I'm just fucking with you with that one.

[Bill Burr]

But by the way, that's a ridiculously charming movie. The scene where.

[Bill Maher]

Oh.

[Bill Burr]

Where. Oh, my God, why am I blanking? When Nick Swartzen dives off the waterfall. Charming as hell.

[Bill Maher]

Well, Drew Barrymore cannot help but be charming.

[Bill Burr]

She is offensively charming to the point where I think some of her movies were hurt by how charming she was. She was trying to do some more kind of darker stuff. And it's like. But you're true, Barrymore. You're just. She just radiates sunshine. It's ridiculous.

[Bill Maher]

I Know, I mean, I had her here recently and we sat on that bench there and did the show. And it went for three and a half hours. And I thought, oh, we've been here for like an hour.

[Bill Burr]

Cause she's so chill and cool.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, and. Cause she used to live here.

[Bill Burr]

That's right.

[Bill Maher]

She used to own this room.

[Bill Burr]

Wow. So hang on, is that. Wait a minute. Is that why we're getting along? Is that why our beef went? Because she left her essence in this room and we were able to get by all of our.

[Bill Maher]

No, it's because we're old.

[Bill Burr]

It's because we're old. We don't give a shit.

[Bill Maher]

And we're wiser.

[Bill Burr]

We're wiser. And also you fight about shit. I remember exactly what our beef was, by the way.

[Bill Maher]

Who gives a shit? Yeah, it doesn't matter, you know, it's like whatever it was, it was probably similar to the little argument we just had. Yes, that. But now we're not dumped.

[Bill Burr]

12 year old twats. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So we said, we're not gonna agree on this.

[Bill Burr]

Right. We're not gonna solve that shit then so what, what are we gonna do?

[Bill Maher]

Like, basically, as I always say to my woke friends, we voted for the same person. You're just why she lost. Good night.

[Bill Burr]

What was Judy.

[Bill Maher]

I'm not trying to start.

[Bill Burr]

What was Judy Tenuta like?

[Bill Maher]

Is Judy still with us?

[Bill Burr]

No, she's not. No, she. By the way, I just went on the road. I had never done Wyoming or Montana. Those are the only two states I'd never done. So I'm like, I want to do these states.

[Bill Maher]

Remember when I tried so hard to get you to go to Hawaii with me?

[Bill Burr]

My schedule fucked me. It wasn't you, it was. My schedule fucked me.

[Bill Maher]

Sweetheart, I'm not busting your balls on it. I'm just saying that.

[Bill Burr]

Call me sweetheart twice.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just telling you that, you know, it's been a while since I wanted to get to know you because that was like the ultimate get to know you trip.

[Bill Burr]

That would have been great.

[Bill Maher]

It was perfect.

[Bill Burr]

And then, by the way, talk about getting a kick in the nuts afterwards. The show that I couldn't do didn't like Eddie Vedder and Willie Nelson show up to it. It was like this.

[Bill Maher]

They showed up every year, every stoner, like show every year, because Eddie went on vacation there every year. He opened the show for me and at the end we would sing Smile, the Charlie Chaplin song.

[Bill Burr]

And he would smile though your husband's dying smile, even though you're oh, my God.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Don't think I didn't get a ton of shit from Meredith about we had a chance to smoke weed with Willie Nelson. What the fuck is wrong with you? So, yeah, yeah. But anyway, I went to Wyoming with Wyoming, Montana with Emo Phillips. Have you seen Emo Phillips recently?

[Bill Maher]

Can I tell you my brief Emo story? Yeah, I did a show in London and it was like a show. They would bring you over there. It was 1992, the underground, whatever it was. They paid for the air ticket.

[Bill Burr]

Let's go.

[Bill Maher]

My girlfriend at the time and I were like, let's make a English vacation. We had an awesome English vacation. And that started there because they paid for the ticket and Ema was on the show. And I remember we went to the rehearsal and I walked in like I was scheduled to go next, and they said, he's on stage and it's just sound check.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And they said, okay, just tell us what your closing line is. They wanted to know so they could go. And Emo said, and that's my solution to the Jewish question. And I thought. I thought what you thought about when you said at the beginning of the show, like, oh, maybe that is funnier than me. You know, maybe I wouldn't have had the guts to say that.

[Bill Burr]

I was always a fan of his, but I did not realize how fucking good his joke writing was.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, so good.

[Bill Burr]

It's like on this.

[Bill Maher]

Was he kind of Steven Wright before Stephen Wright?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, absolutely. He was Mitch Hedberg before Mitch Hedberg. He was Stephen Wright before Stephen Wright. And he was this weird. He hides real darkness inside this whimsical little human marionette. And it takes. And there's nothing more fun than sitting backstage and watching the audience catch up with how dark the joke was that they just heard, because it's from the sleep.

[Bill Maher]

Like that one.

[Bill Burr]

Well, he went on stage and goes. I've never understood. I got to do it in his voice. I've never understood non alcoholic beer. That's like giving a child molester a midget in a Boy Scout uniform. Oh, God. Well, just boom, boom, boom.

[Bill Maher]

Is he still with us?

[Bill Burr]

Yes, he just. He. I.

[Bill Maher]

Let's get him here.

[Bill Burr]

You should have him.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I totally am going to.

[Bill Burr]

I'll give him.

[Bill Maher]

You know. You know him?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, can you.

[Bill Burr]

We. He. We exchange books all the time. He's a big bibliophile, but he's his.

[Bill Maher]

Does he still go and do shows?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah, but his writing. I know you just had Woody Allen on the show, but Can I tell you his Woody Allen joke, or is it all right?

[Bill Maher]

Please.

[Bill Burr]

Woody Allen met Soon Yi when she was 9 years old. Waited till she was 18 to sleep with her patience of a saint.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I gotta get this guy here.

[Bill Burr]

There's not a single ounce of fat on any joke he writes.

[Bill Maher]

It really is why we see him.

[Bill Burr]

More, because times changed. Well, times change. And also, he was just like, I'm an amazing joke writer. Why do I now have to learn TikTok and Insta? I mean, he's learning it.

[Bill Maher]

I'm that guy, too.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Fortunately, I don't need to.

[Bill Burr]

Well, yeah, but he. But he. I mean, he's still, like. Again, he's beloved. His fans know how amazing he is. They know, like, the people that come to see him know that he's writing. He's writing the best. You know what he reminds me of? He reminds me of. I don't know if you've seen the movie Pig with Nicolas Cage.

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, dude, I gotta. All right, I need to have you over. We need to fucking educate you.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, here we go.

[Bill Burr]

But he's this, like. He's this guy that the people that know know. He's this chef that cooks food that will literally, like, change your life. And who. The character in the movie Pigler's cage. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

They make a lot of movies about chefs.

[Bill Burr]

Well, this one is amazing.

[Bill Maher]

I know, but I feel like this is an overdone. Right. Bradley Cooper did one. Seth Rogen.

[Bill Burr]

But think about actors. It's about obsessives. And that's a really interesting thing to get to play someone who's truly obsessed.

[Bill Maher]

See, I'm not a foodie. I think we talked about this.

[Bill Burr]

I'm a big foodie. Yeah, I'm a big foodie.

[Bill Maher]

You're not talking about this on the nutrition night.

[Bill Burr]

And you've also said, like, you have a weird diet. Like, you'll have, like, carrots for lunch. You're very weird.

[Bill Maher]

I did not say that I shouldn't have carrots for life.

[Bill Burr]

But you said you have a weird diet. I did read an interview. You said you have a weird diet.

[Bill Maher]

But you're making a big leap to carrots. Carrots for lunch. I'm not having carrots.

[Bill Burr]

So breakfast?

[Bill Maher]

No, not breakfast. I do have a weird diet that no one would understand. Some people would understand it anyway. It doesn't matter. I mean, whatever makes you happy. But I can't even remember, like, what did. What was I. What was my big nutritional thing that you picked up on that was good.

[Bill Burr]

You said something about even healthy processed foods. Like, when you see these, even the ones that say, like, it's gluten free, it's keto, it's Paleo, there's anything. He basically said, anything where you open a bag, it's not good, don't even bother.

[Bill Maher]

A can.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, right. They just don't bother. Well, in general, it was such an easy metric. Like, do you want something that comes out of a can? You can actually buy it fresh. It's like people that go, do you want something on Amazon? That product probably is on another website or its own website. You can go buy it there and not. You know what I mean? Like.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I mean, there's certain very basic principles about what is actually healthy for you. And of course, a lot of it is about freshness and a lot about. It was what did get on the food when they were growing it.

[Bill Burr]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

What was growing in the food and.

[Bill Burr]

Then what had to be put on the food when it was then canned and then transported.

[Bill Maher]

But even the soil is unhealthy now. Even the soil doesn't. Well, it doesn't have the nutrients you need. I mean, I take sulfur.

[Bill Burr]

Like, I'm sorry. You take sulfur?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

What are you, a demon? What are you fucking eating sulfur for?

[Bill Maher]

I am Lucifer.

[Bill Burr]

I just. Sorry. I'm sorry. The vision of you up in the Hollywood Hills. It's time for my sulfur. Sulfur. Boy, what the fuck? You're eating sulfur.

[Bill Maher]

I know.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And I. And I drink this Jing stuff in my. And like, me and Whitney.

[Bill Burr]

Did you put that in your booze?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Whitney Cumming went off on this, like.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, my God. Don't take any advice from Whitney Cumming, though.

[Bill Maher]

No, but she just was mocking this. It's like, you know, this rich person's tincture that you drink and it's like, you know, I mean, I don't think people use the word health nut. Like, I don't think I'm the nutty one that wants to somehow make the things that I put into my body healthier, purer.

[Bill Burr]

I don't mean to laugh, just as a comic book nerd. Gingold is what the Elongated man puts in his drink to give him his stretching powers. And that's what you're feeling.

[Bill Maher]

Hey, Whatever Works, by the way, that's a Woody Allen movie. Whatever Works.

[Bill Burr]

Whatever Works.

[Bill Maher]

Great one, by the way.

[Bill Burr]

Whatever Works. Is that the one with Larry David Ricci? No, no, no, no. That's. That's Larry David.

[Bill Maher]

I just said that Larry David plays. Is the surrogate Woody which is a perfect surrogate. Woody. Two people who are very unhappy just being alive and just like aren't happy unless they're unhappy. And of course then our carriers.

[Bill Burr]

Carriers. That's a great way to put it.

[Bill Maher]

But yeah, but it's really good movie. And of course so much of art always depends on the original conceit. Is it true and is it real? Is it something we haven't really thought that much about? Whatever works is a great conceit. Like so many people I think do the opposite and have diverted interests in what would make a relationship work and really just get simple. Whatever works. Whatever works for you.

[Bill Burr]

Whatever works for you.

[Bill Maher]

All such individuals. It's so idiosyncratic. What works for you? You got this thing where you're luxurious.

[Bill Burr]

Luxurious.

[Bill Maher]

I got this thing where I'm luxurious.

[Bill Burr]

Luxurious. But what's weird is right now it feels like a lot of the. I'm not even saying this on a political sense almost on a corporate sense. The people that are in power aren't comfortable with people going, I'm happy with this. They want people to be happy with a very narrow set of choices because they can make money off those narrow choices. If someone's like, I don't actually need. I'm good with this over here. You don't have the latest iPhone. You don't have the latest, like, yeah, I don't really need that. I'm actually kind of fine.

[Bill Maher]

I certainly don't.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean people mock me when they see my phone. They think it's like this. And I'm like, sweetheart, I used to use a typewriter. You can't like shame me for my phone.

[Bill Burr]

That's what I'm trying to go back to, by the way. I'm really going to this. This is. I'm doing this thing where don't look at my phone before 9am, don't look at my phone after 9pm and is there a way to get a phone that is like a. I guess you'd call it a jitterbug. The old person's phone where I'm not constantly tempted by hopping online and looking at shit. Because it is.

[Bill Maher]

There are days I don't look at my phone.

[Bill Burr]

How do you do that?

[Bill Maher]

Because I was raised at a different time.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. So you still have that.

[Bill Maher]

It's not native to me. So all of it is a little like doing things left handed. Anything with technology you're probably like most people a little more up to date on that things. And your brain works better relatively. I would bet your IQ is higher than mine. Doesn't mean you have more common sense.

[Bill Burr]

But your IQ is. But I keep tying bags of concrete to my iq, to the ankles of my IQ with this fucking phone.

[Bill Maher]

I get that too. I don't have to do that.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, because I'm lucky.

[Bill Maher]

I'm not that cultivated. I'm not that cultured. I'm not that smart.

[Bill Burr]

But there's IQ, but then there's. Yeah, there's IQ, but then there'S. But then there's smart choices and happiness, which is, I think, worth more than IQ in the long run.

[Bill Maher]

I do, too. I feel like there's a happy medium. You know, the Greeks used to have a phrase, the golden mean. And the golden mean was that mean, like something in the middle between two extremes. For example, courage was the golden mean between cowardice and just being stupid about it. You know, you could just be stupid about it. To have 12 guys.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And you just run in all of them. It's courageous, but it's stupid.

[Bill Burr]

So dumb.

[Bill Maher]

It's not. Where the golden mean.

[Bill Burr]

True courage has to have some fear in it. Like, oh, no, I know, I know. This could be terrifying. I'm gonna do it any smart. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, let's flank them.

[Bill Burr]

Is there a way that we don't die doing this? Yeah, that's true courage.

[Bill Maher]

Larry Miller used to have this great bit about Masada. Remember Masada?

[Bill Burr]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

The. It was a true, true story. I mean, when the Romans surrounded the Jews who were holding out one of the wars. Yes. And they were at this. You can still visit it. It's a fortress on top of a small mountain with a flat top mountain. And they built this castle there. And of course, they were outnumbered and they knew it was going to end. And so they decided, like, a thousand people, let's just kill ourselves and not let the Romans get us, because they'll torture us and it'll look bad in the press. And Larry's bit was when they said, okay, let's do this. Let's all kill ourselves. One guy must have went, bill, you had another idea. We build a wall. That just killed me. Larry Miller, you had another idea.

[Bill Burr]

Larry Miller's bit about. What is it, the five levels of drunkenness. Oh, it's like the perfect.

[Bill Maher]

Larry Miller.

[Bill Burr]

It's like the perfect comedic bit.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, and this. When we were young comics and when I first got to catch a rising star, Larry Miller was doing a ski story about skiing that went on for 20 minutes, like one.

[Bill Burr]

And you're captivated.

[Bill Maher]

I certainly was, because I Was just trying to get one laugh. You know, this was like at the beginning and I just saw this guy doing a elongated, you know, bit like peppered with laughs.

[Bill Burr]

Peppered with laughs non stop.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

It's like when you would see when Gary Goldman went on Conan and he did that whole. His Gary Goleman, you know, so many people I don't know Gary Goleman. Jesus Christ. He went on Conan and he did his stand up set was just about how do they get the abbreviations for states? And that was his whole fucking set.

[Bill Maher]

Well that explains why I don't know who Gary Goldman is.

[Bill Burr]

Well, what I'm saying is who are you performing for right now? You're like, I guess that's why I'm not. But like there's your own little audience there waiting for you to.

[Bill Maher]

You're the audience. You're it. You're it.

[Bill Burr]

That is so fucking ballsy. Because that's the only thing he's going to talk. He killed by the way. It killed. But it's like this doesn't work. This is all you have to do.

[Bill Maher]

He tried it out probably in the.

[Bill Burr]

Clubs, but it was still. But in the clubs. But you know what it's like when you turn on, you go out on those TV sets and it's easier.

[Bill Maher]

Well, it was when I to commit.

[Bill Burr]

To just that though.

[Bill Maher]

I mean the Tonight show audience compared to the clubs I was working in was cake.

[Bill Burr]

Well, yeah, because. But you got to go on with. It's Carson.

[Bill Maher]

First of all. It's not 1:30 in the morning.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Which I went on many times. Okay.

[Bill Burr]

In front of three people.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. It's not 1:30 in the morning. It's not after they've seen eight other fucking comics.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It's 4:30 in the afternoon or 5:30 in Burbank. In Burbank with people who were so excited to be there. And then Johnny Carson saying comedy is the hardest commodity to find, which was bullshit. You couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a comic in 1982 when I went on that show.

[Bill Burr]

But he wanted to give them the best.

[Bill Maher]

Exact.

[Bill Burr]

Exact.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just saying it set it up and you're doing your best six minutes you ever came up with. Yeah, it was cake. If you couldn't do that, you didn't belong in show business. If you couldn't ace the first Tonight Show.

[Bill Burr]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

You suck.

[Bill Burr]

But this wasn't Gary's first Conan. This was his fourth or fifth because he's such an amazing comedian.

[Bill Maher]

Conan is not Carson.

[Bill Burr]

No Conan's not Carson. But I think Conan in a weird way is what, it's why Carson loved Letterman so much. Carson was Carson and Letterman was the guy that came along and said and I want to take this to this next level. And Conan was, the guy was like I love you Letterman and I want to take you to this next level. It was a continuation. And if you're a comedian.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, that's true.

[Bill Burr]

I want to be on the bleeding edge of what is good comedy. And it really says something. My teenage daughter and her friends are obsessed with Conan O'. Brien. Not now. All his classic stuff from the 90s. Because he was doing brilliant comedy.

[Bill Maher]

He still is.

[Bill Burr]

And I want to be.

[Bill Maher]

No, he's a genius comic mind friggin genius. I mean even hosting the Oscars. He did it, he did it the right way, you know, he did it really funny. And no, I, I look, I have a tape, probably something even you haven't seen that I should. If you're in touch with Conan, have him send it to you.

[Bill Burr]

Okay. It's called look well I've seen look well.

[Bill Maher]

Oh fuck, of course you have.

[Bill Burr]

Robert Smigel and Conan o'. Brien. God, why are gonna fucking with you with this fucking.

[Bill Maher]

I'm gonna fucking kill you with this thing.

[Bill Burr]

You know Adam West. Come on man. That's the, it's the greatest non picked up pilot in, in showbiz besides the bakery.

[Bill Maher]

I would like 10 other people in the world to know. Look.

[Bill Burr]

Well really, all my friends, all the comedians do. It's the, it's the, it is freaking brilliant.

[Bill Maher]

All right.

[Bill Burr]

And now when you, when you, when you re watch it, it's like this is actually kind of realistic. As goofy as they tried to make it, I could see it was a parody. Oh God, it was so funny.

[Bill Maher]

Of the detective shows of the 70s and 80s like Mannix.

[Bill Burr]

But it was a guy who played one of those guys who is now teaching an Adam.

[Bill Maher]

Adam West. Batman. Adam west, who was a TV detective.

[Bill Burr]

Yes. Although a ridiculous TV detective.

[Bill Maher]

Right. But just like they were all in those days and now it's later, it's like the 90s.

[Bill Burr]

And now he's teaching an acting class.

[Bill Maher]

He's teaching an acting class and wants to actually help out solving crimes and the police.

[Bill Burr]

I love how in the pilot even the police like oh God, here comes Liquell again. And he's so not helpful. It's that, oh my God, that thing is so great. Look. Well, it's one of the best. It's so amazing.

[Bill Maher]

Do you remember when he says to his secretary, like, can you get me that certain hair dye?

[Bill Burr]

And she's like, oh no, no, they.

[Bill Maher]

Don'T make that number anymore.

[Bill Burr]

So brutal. Yeah, there's those lines. I mean, he. Oh God.

[Bill Maher]

Conan is an amazing comic mind, truly comic.

[Bill Burr]

But you want to be on. I remember this great thing. There was, Remember that there was that book about the first book of photographs of comedians. It was almost like an Annie Leibowitz thing. And it was like it came out in the 80s, but there was a picture of Carson and Letterman together. Cause Carson loved Letterman. And there was this great line about if you went on Carson and did well, you could be famous, but if you went on Letterman and didn't do well, you would never be cool. And those were the differences. And not that either one is more important than the other, but there is that difference. You know what I mean?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I vividly remember when Letterman came on the scene and it was, you know, the passing of the guard, you know. Oh man. I mean, Johnny, who was the greatest for his era was not any. It's like your thing with the Searchers, you know, your time has passed. I mean, he was.

[Bill Burr]

But he was of that generation. He wasn't the boomers. He was generation before that. It's like time to walk away. And when he walked away, he walked away. You never saw him again.

[Bill Maher]

Never saw him again.

[Bill Burr]

And that's what increased his legend. And people don't realize you can do that with your, that can be part of your arc. But everyone is so addicted to get the clicks, the likes, the hits.

[Bill Maher]

And it was also because he had emphysema.

[Bill Burr]

Well, yeah, he could barely talk at the end. Yeah, that also didn't help.

[Bill Maher]

So let's not gild the little. And I was his biggest fan. You know, I never missed the Tonight show from the age of like 12 to 24. You know, whether I was home in high school, in college, like, it was.

[Bill Burr]

You know what bummed me out about his last year at the Tonight show is cuz that last year when he announced he was going to retire.

[Bill Maher]

Floyd R. Turbo. Floyd R. Turbo.

[Bill Burr]

No, what pissed me off was that was not good. The thing that, the thing that was amazing about Carson was the nights when it didn't go well. He was the king of the making it something horrible. And so those nights when his monologue would eat it and he would do that desperation and every comedian watching was like that. I've had. I. I was at the Casking Cleburne Lodi last week. That was me. But at the end, he never. Because now it was all standing ovations. Like, I want the. No, the thing that's great about him is the night is the Wednesday night when he's got three shit gas and a terrible monologue and he's still gonna make it entertaining.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I mean, when the real Carson came out and the real Carson was kind of mean.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, boy.

[Bill Maher]

You say it like he fucked you in the ass.

[Bill Burr]

No, no, no. You could see the meanness sometimes.

[Bill Maher]

But when it came out, I mean. And that's who he was. I mean, I read Bushkin's memoir about it and it read so true.

[Bill Burr]

And apparently a way worse drinking problem than Ed.

[Bill Maher]

He lived life to the fullest and then was like, you know, and smoked, you know, he was just like, I'm gonna go out strong. I'm gonna do what I wanna do. I was in World War II. I'm gonna smoke. Okay. That's my thing. He was a badass. I mean, beneath the genteel Midwestern guy who was super gracious. I mean, if anything, he was gracious. And what was one reason why he.

[Bill Burr]

Was so successful and also really had comedians backs?

[Bill Maher]

Always totally had mine.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

There was once when they wanted to fucking cut my head off and he saved my ass.

[Bill Burr]

Really?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I made Reagan jokes that they didn't like. And his producer, Fred de Cordova, was the director of Banzai Bonzo.

[Bill Burr]

What?

[Bill Maher]

Bedtime for Bonzo.

[Bill Burr]

He directed that?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Fred de Cordova directed Bedtime for Bonzo. So he thought he was Reagan's best friend. So I just did jokes that were not cool to them and Johnny saved my ass. Nobody else could have. So, yes, he did have. He loved comedians. That's true. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Really had their backs. But he also. You're right, he was from that generation where he used to have that bit. One of my favorite bits was the whole thing about Mr. Salty Pretzels.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Which is like everything right now is no salt and no salt. You're like, fuck you, Mr. Salty Pretzels. And we're from the makers of Mr. Tar and Nicotine Sig. Like, there was that generation that was just like, nothing can kill us. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It was just, fuck you.

[Bill Burr]

Fuck off.

[Bill Maher]

No, Johnny would play tennis and he, you know, smoke between.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, God, yeah. You know, barely breathe smoke between games. I love. I love that at the end of David Lynch's life, because smoking killed him. Emphysema is what killed him. And he's like. But. But he. The way he said it was like, yeah, it has Curtailed my life. But I got so much pleasure from smoking. Well, just like he owned it. Like, I loved it.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, my parents smoked. Somehow I avoided it all the way through until I was 20 and in college, and then stupidly took up the habit from going, oh, you did? From 20 to 40. Yeah. But I can't deny that maybe one reason I did was that people did look cool smoking in movies. And Johnny, the people that knew how to do it, Johnny, my hero. Sometimes you'd catch him as they came back from you.

[Bill Burr]

He would do that. He would hide his fucking cigarette.

[Bill Maher]

You'd just see the smoke come out, and you'd go, like, I want to be that guy. I don't know why. I just want to be that guy. And maybe that had something to do with. So the people who are like, oh, you know, you can't go after violence and stuff that people see in movies. Yes, you can. It's not the whole story, but it's definitely part of the story. When you make something look cool, like guns or smoking, impressionable minds, when they're young especially, are going to, like, want to emulate it.

[Bill Burr]

I saw that firsthand when I went to a movie theater, Bill. I went to see Friday the 13th, the Dream warriors with a young Patricia Arquette. And there was a kid behind me.

[Bill Maher]

And my date was your date?

[Bill Burr]

No, not. Not. She was not my date.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, in the movie.

[Bill Burr]

If Patricia Arquette was my date in high school, I wouldn't be here right now. But, sir, please.

[Bill Maher]

In the movie.

[Bill Burr]

No, in the movie. She's in the movie. And it was a kid behind us. Me and my date were sitting there, and I was like, fucking cut that bitch. Kill that fucking bitch. And he had his, you know, he had his, like, you know, leather face T shirt on and was, like, cheering it on. And we were like, the fuck is wrong with you? And then the lights came up and he just kind of. Once the lights were on, he, like, scuttled out. And then I was like, jesus Christ. And then like a month later, there's a movie called Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer with Michael Rooker, like, his first movie Again, first.

[Bill Maher]

What was it? Last.

[Bill Burr]

Michael Rooker has been in everything. He's in Michael Rooker.

[Bill Maher]

Michael Rooker, you know, all these things. I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

Michael Rooker is a. Sorry, he's a character actor. God. Anyway.

[Bill Maher]

Character actor.

[Bill Burr]

But he's in everything. He's in the Walking Dead. He plays.

[Bill Maher]

Never saw that.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, my. Bill.

[Bill Maher]

Why should I watch that? Tell me, tell me. I'M willing to be educated.

[Bill Burr]

I have this. This is the fucking movie Clueless. And I am Cher right now. And you are the fucking girl that. I've got a remake.

[Bill Maher]

I might be. I might be.

[Bill Burr]

But. But I'm gonna get fetch started, but Henry, different movie. Henry Fortune of a Serial killer came out and everyone was like, this is the most intense slasher movie. So all of the Friday the 13th, all of the Chucky, all of the Michael Myers fans went to see it. Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer is what violence actually looks like. And it was when. And I went and saw it, and when the movie was over, like a third of the audience had left.

[Bill Maher]

What year are we talking about?

[Bill Burr]

89.

[Bill Maher]

What is it called?

[Bill Burr]

Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer.

[Bill Maher]

And he's a real serial killer.

[Bill Burr]

It was loosely based on Henry Lucas.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, of course.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Henry Lucas. He was a serial killer.

[Bill Burr]

Henry Lee Lucas, who at the time, everyone thought was the most prolific serial killer. And then it turned out cops were bringing him cold cases and he would just confess to them so they could close all their cases.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[Bill Burr]

It's fucking darker. It's one of the worst things. It's so awful. But they made this movie and Michael Rooker's in it, and he's incredible, and it's so goddamn scary. But like you said, it wasn't making murder look cool. There wasn't a cool quip. There wasn't a cool angle. It was the way people actually die and, like, fight for their lives. And half of this audience that clearly was the people that were like, ah, Freddy Krueger's so funny. They were gone. They were fucking gone when that thing was over.

[Bill Maher]

You do know that serial killing, though, is over because of technology? Well, there hasn't been a recent serial killer because the technology got good enough in police work.

[Bill Burr]

What my first wife was running about, right? That's true. Familial DNA. And as she said it in her intro or in her. In her. In her afterward of the book, you used to be the only guy looking through the window. And a million windows are opening around you, and you could never imagine this many windows around you. That's what she said. And yeah, you're right, that. That's gone.

[Bill Maher]

Although, what a shame.

[Bill Burr]

It's. I know. I mean, look, I know. I. I'm sorry I brought that up. I know that. I know, I know.

[Bill Maher]

And now we can't even be a serial killer.

[Bill Burr]

Let's have a fun. Let's have fun here, dude. I don't want to bum you out you want to hear something really weird? One of the homicide cops that Michelle used to talk to said, the tragedy is in the 70s when I had on my desk at home 20 folders of missing kids, murdered kids, unsolved cases. And I would look across the street at this, this middle school and there was a bike rack full of bikes. Kids would ride their bikes to school and I wanted to go like, what the fuck are you people doing? Like, I have this many now. It's the early aughts, those files are gone. We catch those people now and I look across the street and that bike rack is empty. And like we made the kind of world where your kids can now ride their bikes around. And now because of all the murder documentaries, all the murder movies, you're so terrified. They don't get to have the childhood that the kids in the 70s had but shouldn't have had because we didn't have the technology.

[Bill Maher]

You think they shouldn't have had a free range childhood?

[Bill Burr]

No, they should have had a free range childhood. But it was a dangerous free range childhood and now they took that danger away and everyone's so scared now they don't let their kids have that childhood.

[Bill Maher]

I think it's worth, I know it's gonna sound harsh, but it's. Nothing is free in life. It is worth the risk that the majority, the vast majority of kids are able to grow up as kids. The fact that a kid cannot walk down the street alone now two blocks to the market to get something that the parents did is just. Yeah. I mean. Yes. Is there a chance that someone's going to snatch a child who's alone?

[Bill Burr]

Always.

[Bill Maher]

There always is. And you know what? I just think, you know, you gotta play the numbers and you don't want the entire population growing up as hot.

[Bill Burr]

House plants or crate raised veal where they don't get to, they don't get the bumps and bangs of life where you're running.

[Bill Maher]

You had a free range childhood.

[Bill Burr]

Oh my God. Not only did I have a free range childhood, I had the kind of childhood where you were a shitty parent. If you had your kids inside watching tv, it was go outside when it gets dark, come back.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

And I was riding bikes into thorn bushes and I could not have had more contusions and it was non stop. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And we could have been a casualty. And some were and some were. And you just have to always ask, what is the maximum good? What?

[Bill Burr]

No, no.

[Bill Maher]

Isn't that a basic principle?

[Bill Burr]

But you are asking a very dark question. How many kids are we willing to sacrifice. Right.

[Bill Maher]

Well, how many.

[Bill Burr]

Well, how many lives becomes a full car?

[Bill Maher]

How many lives are we willing to sacrifice to have cars?

[Bill Burr]

Oh yeah, that is true.

[Bill Maher]

Because we are absolutely saying a certain number is okay. Because I like my car.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And I want a car to get to my car goes where it would be shitty if I had to walk. So I am willing to spend 30,000 of my fellow citizens lives to have a car. And that's okay.

[Bill Burr]

Send your letters to him because I don't.

[Bill Maher]

I don't mean to be facetious or didactic.

[Bill Burr]

By the way, there's a. I know you're not into comic books.

[Bill Maher]

No, I am not.

[Bill Burr]

There's again, comic books to me, I'm not that cultural, are like. Well, they're like rap music where the people that, that aren't into comics are like, yeah, but these goddamn Marvel movies and the guy. Yeah, that's all you're seeing. There's really amazing shit happening in comics. And there's a great series by a guy called Watch. Literally Watch. Bill Disengage.

[Bill Maher]

Where do you get the time to engage with all these different art forms?

[Bill Burr]

I love reading, I love watching movies. But there's a great comic by a guy named Elliot Kalin, used to be a head writer at the Daily Show. It's called Maniac of New York. And the premise of the thing is in the early 80s, a masked maniac, like a Jason type, showed up at Times Square on New Year's Eve, killed 12 people. Cops shot him 18 times. He fell off the pier, dead. And then every couple of years he shows up, kills a couple of people. In New York they call him Maniac Harry. And this is now. Now it's the year 2025. This has been going on since 1985. And New York just adjusted to it. They're like, well, I gotta live in New York. I'm not gonna not live in New York. This is where my career is. Kills a couple of people every year. There's this. There's this unkillable maniac. There's reports on the news. We just spotted Maniac Harry in Chelsea. Don't go in Chelsea tonight. And everyone adjusted and everyone is living with it now. I could see it exactly. It's school shootings, it's vehicular homicides. We're not going to change anything.

[Bill Maher]

Mondami would give him a rent controlled apartment. Good night everybody.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, for the love of God.

[Bill Maher]

No, man.

[Bill Burr]

Dami all the way. Don't. God damn it. Yes.

[Bill Maher]

It was so good to see you.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Great team, buddy.

[Bill Maher]

Before we tried, I just saw another little fight coming and it was like, why not? I love this guy so much. I love this guy so much. Why have a fight about.

[Bill Burr]

Let's have another drink. Let's numb the hatred.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. I gotta. I gotta. It's been two hours.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, Jesus. Listen, it has been two hours.

[Bill Maher]

That's how good friends we are now.

[Bill Burr]

Dude.

[Bill Maher]

It was sent to pleasure body.

[Bill Burr]

I'm so glad this.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, Bill. Sorry.

[Bill Burr]

No more for you, buddy.

[Bill Maher]

I hope we do it again.

[Bill Burr]

Anyway, listen, anyone drops out, I'll just drive up. When I show up, I'll know that Timothy Chalamet's flight got delayed.

[Bill Maher]

I'm impressed. Two hours without needing to pee.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, wow. Was I that fascinating?

[Bill Maher]

Well, I. I feel like at our age.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, at our age. That's. Come on, get that on camera. That's a brag.

[Bill Maher]

That's sort of a victory.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that is a victory.

[Bill Maher]

They call it a flex now.

[Bill Burr]

The kids. The kids, Grandpa. Anyway. Oh, my gallbladder. Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan are back in Disney's Freakier Friday. Now streaming on Disney. We switched bodies. I am freaking out right now. I think I just peed a little. It's an absolute riot. And the only movie that can be described as so much weirder than the last time. What last time? It's the Freequel. You ready? We've been waiting for. That absolutely slays Disney's Freakier Friday, now streaming on Disney. Rated pg. The holidays are all about family. But at the Chrysler wrap of the year sales event, it's all about you. Enjoy every mile in the most awarded minivan in America. The Chrysler Pacifica. With the most standard safety features in its class, available Stow n go seating and the available Stow and back built in vacuum. Make the most of the holidays with a great deal at the Chrysler Pacifica. Wrap up the year sales event based on Ward's small van segment. Based upon the latest available competitor information, Chrysler is a registered trademark of FCA US llc. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday. Because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Give it a [e-mail] switch.

[Bill Burr]

Upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow. After 35 gigabytes of network's busy taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com.