Loading summary
Transcript278 lines
- [00:00]
A
This is an iHeart podcast.
- [00:04]
B
Big deposits deserve big rewards. Kraken is offering up to 2% back on crypto and cash deposits made this October. Deposit $1,000 or more and watch your reward grow as the Kraken community deposits reach 500 million. Opt in through the app and start stacking. Get Kraken in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss and is offered to US customers through PayWord Interactive Incorporated. Terms apply.
- [00:35]
C
This is Julian Edelman from Games With Names. Football is back. That means it's tailgate time and this season the only meat I'm going to grill is Dietz and Watson. I'm loving the Black Angus Dietz dogs. They're flavor packed and you can tell they are made with the highest quality ingredients. Sundays just got a whole lot better. Visit dietandwatson.com the right way to learn more about the deets Difference.
- [01:08]
D
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this fall. Take care of the little ones in the family with Baby Club Savings now through November 4th. Spend $25 on select Baby Club products and save $5. Shop for items like Pediasure bottles, Pedialyte powder packs, Huggies baby wipes, Huggies diapers, Gerber Puffs and Gerber pouches and save five. You buy $25 or more on participating products. Offer ends November 4th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
- [01:38]
E
That black love different. That black love.
- [01:41]
A
That's not what she was saying the other day. You was. You don't say that at all.
- [01:45]
E
I'm just saying I'm looking at the difference. That black love is different.
- [01:49]
A
Her mamas wasn't bad bitches and that's what men are marrying. Ruby Rose, your boo that she was shooting your shot at Boo, you was shooting your shot.
- [01:59]
E
I think the ones that I loved, I loved them. I thought they both was the love of my life. Have a man ever broke up with you?
- [02:06]
A
No.
- [02:07]
E
A man's never broke up with you.
- [02:08]
A
Men don't break up with women. For real.
- [02:10]
E
I ain't going to lie. I cried over a girl.
- [02:13]
A
That's good. You should be vulnerable.
- [02:14]
E
I was in the house, like, damn, I can't believe this. Like, damn. Oh, no. I'm going through it.
- [02:21]
A
They say broke men have great sex. Way better sex than anyone. And you know, they might not be lying on that one.
- [02:48]
E
This is the taking over the game. All right, everybody. Welcome to Truth After Dark.
- [03:00]
A
Do you think that men or women Are more toxic. Hello, beautiful people. Welcome to another episode of the Truth After Dark. I'm your host, Azar Faraday.
- [03:17]
E
Paul Pierce. The truth in the building, once again.
- [03:20]
A
Nice. How are you feeling?
- [03:22]
E
I'm good, man. You know, Halloween is coming up.
- [03:25]
A
Yeah.
- [03:26]
E
Holiday season, my favorite part of the year. You know, Thanksgiving, Christmas, all that. Rounding out the end of the year, finishing off the birthday month. Feeling good right now.
- [03:36]
A
Okay. I love that. I love that. Happy belated birthday. So today we'll hop right in. So Gilbert Arenas was on Neon, I guess, some streamer named Neon Stream.
- [03:50]
E
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're talking about.
- [03:52]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [03:52]
E
We ran into him recently.
- [03:53]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said that basically, you as a man need a few little hoes to get run through to get your confidence back. And he basically referenced back page. I don't know if you know what back page is, but back page was like old hoes. And he was like telling him, like, you know, back page. And he was like, huh? Because he's younger. And then he's like, you know, Instagram, it's the same thing. And he's like, you get a few hoes, run through them, and as a man, that's gonna build your confidence up. Do you agree with that?
- [04:23]
E
I'm trying to figure out. Build your confidence.
- [04:26]
A
Like maybe an ego boost, I think.
- [04:29]
E
I kind of. I don't know, get you something easy. So, like, now you feeling good about yourself, maybe, or.
- [04:37]
A
Yeah. I mean, it gets you like a bad one that you run through, I guess. So you can get your ego up.
- [04:44]
E
Nah, that ain't. I ain't going with that advice. Cause then you gonna go over there, you talking about pay. And then when you get into the real. When you want, when you gotta really kind of mouthpiece something up, that ain't gonna work. You gotta go through the fire. You gotta get rejected 100 times. And listen, this is how you gotta figure it out, okay? You gotta swing for the fences. Say you swing. Say you go to a party and you talk to 30 girls. If five bite, you good. Okay, if you get five. If you get five to bite, you get the number. At least that's. Get your confidence going till you work within that five. Like, that's all. Like all that back page. Nah, that ain't gearing you up for the real game.
- [05:28]
A
Do you think Instagram is the new back page?
- [05:32]
E
Yeah, probably so. Huh?
- [05:33]
A
Right? I actually said that the other day.
- [05:35]
E
Yeah, it is. Girls is really selling theyself on Instagram. Yeah, yeah, for sure it is. It's the More enhanced herculean back page. Like, back page only has so much.
- [05:47]
A
But now you can get all types of women. Yeah.
- [05:50]
E
From all around the world.
- [05:51]
A
Exactly. Back page was local and it was like. Only it wasn't as bad. Like, now you could get all type of women, like regular, everyday women. This woman, that woman. It's a lot of options, man.
- [06:03]
E
I had a homie that had a back. I've never done back page, by the way, but he was like kicking it in, was kicking it. One day he called up a back page, Right? Yeah. Cause the back page, I'm not even sure, you know what they look like or is there photos on it or. I forget the little highest setup. Well, I know it was. I don't know if it was the phone book or the newspaper or what, but I remember she pulled up on them and we was playing dominoes and I was like. He was like, yeah, this is the back page. I was like, what? You could just call somebody over to. And they just come over. Yeah, yeah. You know, $100 or something.
- [06:35]
A
I would be scared. Like, you set up and rock.
- [06:38]
E
You got $100 next to you. I know, you know, they, you know, they doing. They want to. I was like, man, let me get on up out of here. I was like, damn, that's crazy. And now Instagram is the modern day prostitution.
- [06:54]
A
Yeah.
- [06:54]
E
I mean, in so many words. It's just how you look at it and how you go about it. Because when you look at girls just the way they promote themselves and sell themselves, what are you saying? Yeah, pretty much the same thing. But as far as, like, getting your confidence up, I'm not sure. You gotta get your confidence up by going through the rough and then be like, all right, I got over the hump. Like, all that. Now getting out of a slump, I get it. You can get out of a slump, but getting your confidence is two different things.
- [07:27]
A
Do you think that men get with certain women just to boost their confidence and be like, okay, I can get her to love me? Like, making someone feel like making someone fall in love with you, like, is that an ego boost for men? Because there's a lot of men that hold on to relationships that they don't really want to be in.
- [07:47]
E
Is that an ego boost? By getting certain type of women that.
- [07:51]
A
And get them in a certain way too. Like, have them, like, love you or be on you or whatever the case is.
- [07:58]
E
Yeah. I mean, men use it for ego boost, but, like, I don't know. That's a difficult question for me. I'm telling you, like, I never really had no confidence issue. I never really had no, like, get ego booster issues. Like, from the first time I started talking to girls and having girlfriends, like in like seventh, eighth grade and, you know, going to the dance with somebody, I never really, like, was like, afraid to approach a woman or needed my ego to be stroked from a woman. So it's hard for me to, like, really get into that, like. But you see certain men and you see them with certain women who are out of their league. I can tell. But then as a man, you look at them like, damn, you know, he probably breaking her off some bread or.
- [08:48]
A
Taking care of her lifestyle.
- [08:49]
E
People gonna assume that, you know, so. But you have to wonder sometime, like, you looking like, damn, she with him. Like, oh, okay, okay, you doing your thing. It ain't no hate. It's just like, damn. I know he doing too much, though.
- [09:01]
A
Well, a lot of women are just with men for superficial reasons.
- [09:06]
E
Yeah, for sure. That same with men. Men are with these women for superficial reason.
- [09:10]
A
I agree.
- [09:10]
E
Like, you know what? I just wanna, you know, get with her for this, you know, just for the sexual pleasure.
- [09:15]
A
Yeah.
- [09:16]
E
And that's it. I really, you know, and then it just leads to, like, y' all don't really like each other at the end of the day.
- [09:23]
A
Does a woman's love feel like fulfilling?
- [09:27]
E
Does a woman's love.
- [09:28]
A
Because I feel like women are extremely emotional and, like, expressive, you know. So, like, for a man, is that an overwhelming feeling or is it like, wow, I feel fulfilled by this type of love.
- [09:43]
E
Ain't no greater love then the love you gonna get from, like, I feel like the people closest to you. And if that's your woman or if that's your brother, sister, mama or auntie, you know, Because I feel like the best love, I think, comes from family. Because you could never break up. You know what I'm saying?
- [10:07]
A
Yeah.
- [10:07]
E
Like relationships, you just break up.
- [10:13]
A
But I feel like this. This is what I feel. People say that the love from your partner is stronger than your family. Because if you are in a relationship with someone, they're choosing to be with you. Your family is just your family.
- [10:26]
E
Yeah, I get it. It's stronger because it's gonna be somebody you with every day. You gonna go through more things with them as an adult that your family don't see. You're more ready. You're more in tune with them mentally and spiritually because you lay in with them every single night. So the love can grow to be greater. You know, you not talking to your mama every day like that. Or your brother or sister or best friend. Like, you are your partner, the one who's laying next to you, seeing your hearing, your deeper secrets and knowing, like, everything about you is still, like, all right, I can.
- [11:00]
A
It's still being with you. Cause no one knows you like your partner. Your partner's gonna know you more than anybody.
- [11:06]
E
And that's why it's more crushing when that breakup.
- [11:10]
A
Yeah, for sure.
- [11:11]
E
It's like, damn, I done sold and gave her or gave him, you know, as a woman, everything. Yeah, you like, damn. You just feel like it went down the drains. I gave him my deepest secrets. And then with the society we live in today and the culture we live in today, it's even more heartbreaking because then women and men, they go out there and spill your tea. If it don't, if it go off.
- [11:33]
A
That scares me. Yeah.
- [11:34]
E
Like, damn, that's what I hate about this.
- [11:36]
A
And everything is incriminating now because if you're like texting, people are screenshotting, people are sending people. Like, you don't even want to be vulnerable on a text. You don't want to be vulnerable, like, because it's like, damn, are you recording? Are you dream jotting? Are you doing anything? And it's like you would hope you would be with someone that wasn't that petty. You know what I mean? But you never really know. But, yeah, that's tough. Now, going into another topic. Gucci Mane and Keisha Kior. So they were on the Breakfast Club and they had an interview about his bipolar and schizophrenia. So he's bipolar and he's schizophrenic? Yes. Gucci Mane?
- [12:13]
E
Yes. Really?
- [12:14]
A
Yes.
- [12:14]
E
I never knew that.
- [12:15]
A
Yeah, they were on there talking about his episodes, and she said that when he goes through an episode, say they actually now she helps him. Meaning she'll take Twitter off his phone, take all the social media apps off his phone, like, change his password, delete everything. Because he. She doesn't want the public to see him having an episode. And then she'll tell him, like, you're sick. That's what she said. Like, you're sick right now. You're sick. And he'll be like, okay. And she said some. And he mentioned how when he would have episodes, he would give away things. Cuz Kanye West, Kim, recently on an interview, said that Kanye west would give away Lamborghinis and all type of stuff when he had an episode.
- [12:53]
E
Damn.
- [12:53]
A
And Gucci said he did the same thing. And he said, and it was really foul because his friends knew he was sick, and they would take very expensive jewelry, million dollars worth of jewelry and everything. And he said, as soon as I got better and out of jail, he said, I cut all of those people off because I'm like, you took advantage of me when I was sick. And so his wife is a big, like, part of what helps him not have future episodes. And, like, got help for him and he's on meds, he said. But the public and the audience is like, kind of bashing Kim Kardashian now because Kim dealt with the same thing with Kanye, but she was handling it very differently. She said she. It was just too much for, like, she can't deal with someone who's having these episodes. What do you feel about, like, at.
- [13:41]
E
What point is that scoochy man's girl, right?
- [13:44]
A
His wife? Yeah.
- [13:45]
E
Is she. Is she black?
- [13:46]
A
Yeah, she's black.
- [13:47]
E
See that. That black love different.
- [13:50]
A
That's not what she was saying the other day. You was. You don't say that at all.
- [13:55]
E
I'm just saying I'm looking at the difference that black love is different. I'm glad you saying that now. Never not said. I have not said it, but it is different. You know, I think black women are.
- [14:08]
A
Loyal to their man. That's what it is. A thing to black men, specifically.
- [14:14]
E
Well, we got to do the statistics.
- [14:15]
A
They said that it's a statistic that.
- [14:17]
E
You know, I don't know that I don't know. It's not in front of me but like, you know, an asshole. But I'm just saying black love is different because, you know, of the poverty communities we come from and we seen each other go through so much of a struggle mentally that it's just like, damn, you know, you can be broken as a kid and as an adult with what the world puts you through, you know, and when you got the real strong black ladies. And the reason the criticism is out now, because it ain't. It's a different type of black woman now. It's like old school. Black women are different. We could just say that 100%. Like our my mama and my mama's mamas and like the old ladies that was just like home, making sure they men and working two or three jobs and really putting their elbow into it.
- [15:10]
A
Your mamas wasn't bad bitches. And that's what men are marrying like, just keeping it real. Your mamas wasn't that they was big arms cooking in the kitchen, getting a.
- [15:20]
E
Different type of love.
- [15:21]
A
Right. But men don't want to Marry them. They could. They don't want to marry them type of women. Men have conditioned women to believe they have to look like this, that, that, that, and then their minds are up. The more surgeries you get, the more things you got going, your mind goes crazy. And then you, you, you. You change.
- [15:37]
E
I' ma suggest this to men out there. Like, dog, if you a black dude and you got you a black woman who got, you know them arms. You know them arms. You know them arms that fold over at the elbow and they flap at the bottom. Get that one. That one gonna know how to get down in the kitchen. She got that high booty.
- [15:59]
A
You know what I'm saying?
- [16:00]
E
You know what I'm saying? And she gonna be wearing that bonnet in the kitchen, cooking up. That's the ones you need to get with them, is the ones ain't going nowhere. That's what I'm saying. They gonna get damn for you. They gonna make you.
- [16:14]
A
But then men will get with that type of woman, and then they'll cheat with a woman they're sexually attracted to. Because you can't be with a woman that you're not sexually attracted to as a man. You're gonna. Because you're gonna have too much temptation to want what you want. Like, there's no way. You can't tell me men do that all the time.
- [16:30]
E
I mean, that's gonna fade eventually. We talked about that. The sexual attraction is gonna fade.
- [16:36]
A
Okay, let's move on.
- [16:38]
E
The mental attraction is gonna be forever. The mind is always gonna be powerful. Cause when you look at her over there with them arms like that, and she, in that case, you looking like, damn, that's my baby right there. You know what I'm saying?
- [16:51]
A
Like, this is crazy.
- [16:52]
E
I'm looking at her, man. She's blood, sweat, and tears right there. And that's a more powerful type of love than like, man, I ain't really attracted to her. I want to do all that. No, because when I see her doing all that and she getting down, that's attractive. Let me go grab her up real quick. Come here, girl. You know what I'm saying? Come here.
- [17:08]
A
Yeah, but when she starts to undress and y' all are having sex, I'm.
- [17:13]
E
Looking through all of that. Come here, girl, you cracking. Come here. Get over here.
- [17:19]
A
Okay, okay, so let's move on from that discussion. Okay? So Ruby Rose, your boo, that she was shooting your shot at you, was shooting your shot publicly. Yeah, Ruby Rose, okay, Ruby Rose says she rather be alone and that women need to stop Rewarding ancient men with babies. She got her own bread, she don't need you and words and she's cool. So I'm confused. Do you feel like babies are a reward to men?
- [17:55]
E
What you mean a baby is a reward to a man?
- [17:58]
A
Do you feel that way as a man? I'm really asking. I don't know.
- [18:02]
E
It's rewarding if it's a baby that's had through love. You know when you have a kid through love, it's rewarding.
- [18:11]
A
Right.
- [18:11]
E
But when a baby coming, it ain't through love. It's just like damn messed up right here, you know what I'm saying? So all that like that's not a game to play, you know what I'm saying? You don't want to play no games like oh, rewarding these dudes with babies. I mean, I understand that there's men out here that's trying to trap beautiful women and there's women out here trying to trap men too.
- [18:35]
A
Yeah.
- [18:36]
E
So it goes both ways. Yeah. So don't look at it as just a one sided deal because there's more women trying to trap men trying to trap.
- [18:44]
A
Yeah. So women do be trying to trap. But what I'm wondering is what are you trapping? Because it's like you're going to get a little bit of child support and then you're going to be stressed out and then I would hate to have a baby with a man that I'm not with and then I have to have his seed inside of me growing and I have to watch this man possibly be with another woman or create a family out of love. And I'm over here with this baby, like I just can't. It will blow me. I would never be able to do that and I wouldn't want to bring my child into the world already in a broken family. Like I feel like there's a lot of women, I get it if you're like against abortion or whatever, but I feel like there's a lot of women who aren't against it, but they just want to try to have a baby to hopefully get gain something from it.
- [19:29]
E
And they end up it be. It'd be like this. I'm sorry to cut you off.
- [19:33]
A
No, go ahead.
- [19:34]
E
No, but like a lot of times or sometimes women be having be like, you know what, I'm gonna have the baby to try to keep a man.
- [19:43]
A
That's what I'm saying.
- [19:44]
E
I think I could keep him if I have it. I know where you know, like y' all relationship ain't really as close as you thought it was. But if I had a baby, at least I'm gonna have. And with men, too. Men don't have a kid with a lady thinking, like, oh, I got that for life. You know, I could get that for life.
- [20:00]
A
Yeah, for sure. But you know what I will say about this really quick is the whole concept of keeping man because you have a baby is so skewed, because even in a healthy relationship, having a baby makes the relationship more difficult, even if you guys love each other, even if you're healthy. So imagine having a baby with somebody you're already on the rocks with. A baby is not going to save your marriage. A baby is not going to save your relationship. It actually adds dynamics that make it much harder to deal with. So unless you're ready and prepared to have that baby, you guys are on the same page.
- [20:35]
E
You.
- [20:35]
A
And even then, it's hard. Imagine what's going to happen if, oh, I'm trying to keep this man, because we're in a bad place. That's just going to drive a bigger wedge in between y'.
- [20:43]
D
All.
- [20:44]
A
To be honest, I've never been stupid enough to think that.
- [20:47]
E
Yeah, I say that a lot. That, like, man, a lot of times a kid be just. It can go one or two ways. It could grow you apart, or it can grow you closer.
- [21:00]
A
Yeah.
- [21:01]
E
You know what I'm saying? It's just the times that we live in, because you got to make the adjustment. Like, when the kid comes, there's an adjustment. Like, all right, we ain't about to just lay here and let's get up and go to Vegas, or let's get up and go on a vacation. Now we got some other child to care for, you know? And it's like, you gotta really plan.
- [21:24]
A
Yeah.
- [21:24]
E
For sure now. And that can get frustrating.
- [21:26]
A
Yeah.
- [21:27]
E
For the man and the woman.
- [21:28]
A
Yeah, for sure.
- [21:29]
E
Y' all gotta plan sex. You gotta plan dates, right? You gotta plan, like, just a lot of stuff, man.
- [21:37]
A
Okay, so there is. So this is something that a lot of men have said on podcasts or, like, this is a something I've heard so many times in my lifetime. They say that men only have, like, one true love, and it's usually the one who got away. Like, maybe they hurt a women. A woman. And, like, they messed up. She got away. And the rest of the people that they're with, they're just trying to recreate that experience, but they don't trust, truly love them. And they're always thinking about that other woman that got away. Maybe they were young, they lost her, or whatever the case is. How do you feel about that?
- [22:16]
E
That's a good one. That one true love. Which, Man, I don't. I don't know. It's tough to really, like, really, like, put a finger on that one. Because I'm like. When I look at the loves of my life, is there one, is there two? Is there just the one that I say got away? I think the ones that I loved, I loved them. I thought they both was the love of my life. Like, especially. Cause I was with them so long, you know? So I don't really agree with, like, there's only one true love in your life. I don't know how she felt. I know how I felt. Cause I always think, like, this is it. Yeah. You know, so I'm just like, damn. And I never really look back and say, damn. I was supposed to be. You know what? You never know. You know what? It's probably one girl I actually felt like I probably should have been with.
- [23:12]
A
Yeah.
- [23:13]
E
But didn't end up with. And ended up with a different girl.
- [23:16]
A
Yeah.
- [23:17]
E
Like, this is, like. This was, like, in college, too. This was like, a real pivotal moment for me. Like, I was kind of, like, dating both of them, and I had to make a decision, but I let them make the decision. And I was thinking, like, damn, maybe I should have ended up with the other one. But the one made the decision, and, you know, I couldn't. I couldn't fight it. And we wind up being together for, like, you know, six or seven years.
- [23:46]
A
Yeah.
- [23:47]
E
But there's nothing I really regret. You know, I think things happen. And the crazy thing is, you know, even though I ended, I didn't end up being with either one of them. You know, marriage or kids or nothing with them. But I remember thinking that.
- [24:02]
A
Yeah. I feel like for women, they say.
- [24:06]
E
Is that one that you think, like, you look back and say, I let him get away.
- [24:09]
A
No, everyone. I would never look at a man and say, he got away. Are you kind of crazy?
- [24:14]
E
All right, let me ask you. Have you. Have you. Have you. Have you ever. Have a man ever broke up with you? No. A man has never broke up with you.
- [24:22]
A
Men don't break up with women. For real.
- [24:24]
E
I broke up with somebody before.
- [24:26]
A
You said, you say this all the time, that men don't break up.
- [24:30]
E
I know. I say, normally, men don't.
- [24:32]
A
Yeah, I broke up with a girl. No. My relationships have always been, the man is doing foul. I'm trying to make it work. Make it work. Give Give, give, love, love, love. I'm exhausted at that point. Now I'm like, ugh, I don't even want to be with you anymore. And I still try. And then therapy, and then finally I'm like, I'm co. You've never.
- [24:52]
E
Nobody was like, I'm good.
- [24:54]
A
Oh, no, no, no.
- [24:56]
E
Damn. For real?
- [24:57]
A
No, not at. No. Men don't do that.
- [25:00]
E
Even when you was 280, he wasn't like, I'm good.
- [25:02]
A
No. But I think that he did a lot of up shit to basically say, you're good. But you didn't say that. I mean, I feel like men break up without work. Like, they do stuff to make you break up with them, and I feel like that's definitely happened to me. Yeah. For sure then. Yeah.
- [25:16]
E
So you got broke up with.
- [25:18]
A
Yeah. But when they do it, then they're begging to still be with you.
- [25:20]
E
Like, when a man, like, openly just disrespects you.
- [25:25]
A
Yeah.
- [25:26]
E
Like, he's like, I'm gonna just like, I don't care. I'm openly disrespectful.
- [25:30]
A
Think about what a man. They like to do that. And then they're crying at your door, like, what is it like? Because you, you wanted to do this. Now you're crying. You can't. Because all of my exes and I can stand on that. Hit me up for years.
- [25:44]
E
You've seen a man cry?
- [25:45]
A
Yeah.
- [25:46]
E
Your boyfriend?
- [25:48]
A
Yeah, I seen a man cry. Broke my heart. It was the worst experience. I'll never forget it. I remember the exact moment. And it wasn't. It was some. Because it's like, I'm breaking. I'm trying to leave you. And now you're crying, and you're the one that's foul. But it made me stay with him because it me up. I was like, this is the.
- [26:05]
E
I ain't gonna lie. I cried over a girl.
- [26:07]
A
That's good. You should be vulnerable, man.
- [26:10]
E
I remember when we was breaking up, man. It was like, this was like early 2000s. I was just like, I was playing that. I was playing all the Usher and Mariah Carey breakup songs, and I was like, I was almost going through it. I was in the house like, damn, I can't believe this. Like, damn. Oh, no, I'm going through it. I was like, damn, I was going through it.
- [26:34]
A
You know what? I feel like I technically have been broken up with then. Yeah. But, But I, I, I, I feel like every person that I've, all my exes, they've always double back and, like, tried to get back with me. Like, seriously, like, one of my exes, they. I had to get a restraining order, like, for 10 years. And then another ex, like, will. Like, I have my exes. Most of my exes are blocked because they will hit me. WhatsApp, email me. Love you, please. Like, like, seriously, I'm not lying. Because I feel like they realize after the fact, like, damn. And by then I'm gone. Because I put years of work. All my relationships are years long. They're not short, they're years.
- [27:14]
E
You. Have you ever bumped into one of your ex within the last couple of years?
- [27:20]
A
Yes.
- [27:20]
E
Yeah.
- [27:21]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bumped into my ex one time where I was on a date.
- [27:28]
E
Oh, yeah?
- [27:28]
A
Yeah. I was on. So this is the craziest story. I was on a date with someone that I had just, like, started talking to, and we went to a bar.
- [27:38]
E
And.
- [27:39]
A
And mind you, there was a girl at the front of the bar checking this list of people. But when she saw me, she was like, hey. And she just let us in. So I'm like, I didn't think it was a private event, Right. The bar we went to ended up being a private event for his. And his whole entire family was there and him and everything. And we walk in. It was his cousin's event. We walk in. It's his cousin's birthday. I look and I'm like, I'm starting to trip out because I'm like, is this a dream?
- [28:07]
E
All of his family, people, you got some new.
- [28:10]
A
I'm a new date. We've been broken up for, like, a few years at this point.
- [28:13]
E
Okay.
- [28:13]
A
And so we're. So I walk in and he's like, oh, no, no, no. He. He's been blowing me up always. And I, like, have him blocked. He's texting, hitting WhatsApp, emailing.
- [28:24]
E
How is he blowing you up? And you have him blocked?
- [28:26]
A
WhatsApp block numbers, text me numbers, emails, calling people. Like, seriously. For years. So then I see. And he had just recently started it back. Like, literally a few weeks. He started going hard again.
- [28:39]
E
Yeah.
- [28:40]
A
So I'm like. Because he had piped down for a minute, right? So I'm in there. This man comes up, his first. His family's like a. Sorry, we wanted you guys back together so bad. Oh, my God. You showed up. They think I'm there because it's a private event. They think I'm there. The girl happened to recognize me. And then I'm at the bar with my little boo that I'm with.
- [29:01]
E
Right, Right.
- [29:01]
A
And he comes behind me to Grab me like this. And he's like, this is. God, this can't be a coincidence. I've been hitting you every day. I've been on your line every day. I know this is fate. I know we're supposed to be together. It was on me.
- [29:16]
E
Okay? So hold on. He come up, grabbed.
- [29:18]
A
Yeah.
- [29:19]
E
What old boy doing the new day?
- [29:21]
A
Nothing. Because it was too soon. No, no, no, no, no, no.
- [29:26]
E
It was too. Listen to the. Listen, I'm good.
- [29:27]
A
No, no, no, no, no. That was it. That was that, though. It was like. No, it was like, I'm good. I'm. I'm leaving type shit. Like, I'm. I'm like, come on, let's go. And I was like, all right. But then I kind of fucked up because I was like, I don't want to feel like this person is controlling my, like, vibe to where I'm, like, walking and running away from it. So I was like, let me finish my drink. You know what I'm saying? But it just. It wasn't a good situation. And it's. It's. Then they thought it was a setup.
- [29:54]
E
I feel like that's disrespectful.
- [29:56]
A
And I wasn't trying to, because I didn't know this was going to happen. But I'm like, at least let's finish the drink. Like, don't let these motherfuckers run us up out of here. Like, they. Anybody, like, like.
- [30:04]
E
No, listen, this is. This is the thing. If you out on the date, I don't care if this is the first day. You just met dude yesterday and your old flame come and just grab you from behind, it's got to be like, some.
- [30:14]
A
No, for sure it was that. You think I'm just sitting there. I was like, move. I was like, this is crazy.
- [30:21]
E
It's got to be like, let's go. Let's leave.
- [30:22]
A
Yeah, you're right. And it's. It. And it was. But I think that where I messed up was like, I was super anxietal, and this wasn't my relationship yet. The person that I'm with. But you're right. And so I think in the situation, I just got weird. And I was like, this is crazy, because it's like all the family, everyone is staring me down. I'm like, this is. This is. This is crazy. And the cousin is, like, a famous rapper.
- [30:46]
E
Yeah.
- [30:46]
A
So, like, they're in the music business. Everyone's there. It's like, photographs. It's just a lot going on, man.
- [30:51]
E
You know what I did? I probably would have just played to the side. Just kind of see how you gonna react. Yeah, I would have just kind of just see how. Yo, I think that's what's going.
- [30:59]
A
That's what it was going on.
- [31:00]
E
And then I would have just been. I would have just kept it player. Like, oh, that's what I'm saying. You know what? Yeah, I'm go over here and see what's going on over here then, you know?
- [31:08]
A
But no, it wasn't given. Like, I'm over here.
- [31:10]
E
Hey, you were here. Hey, what's up? No, I'm just out here chilling, you.
- [31:14]
A
Know, it wasn't giving. It was over here, though.
- [31:16]
E
Some like, hey, what's up? What's up? Is that your friend over there? Hey, you. Oh, oh, oh. I want to double back to you. Like, you good?
- [31:26]
A
No, but I wasn't disrespectful. I just was, like, having anxiety about it. I can get overwhelmed. I was like, this is crazy. Like, back up. You know what I mean? Like, and then we left. We left. We left, you know? Okay, so moving on. Do you. There's. Everyone always says this, and there's a lot of men who say this. Do men know very early on if they will marry a woman or be with her friends for a long time? Like, a lot of men will say, like, I knew right away, or I'll know within a month, or I'll know within a few months that, like, this is someone I'll be with or it's someone I won't be with. Like, we know very quickly. And if a man is trying to act like he don't know, he lying. And if he's like, oh, I don't want to be in a relationship after, like, a certain amount of time, he's not really rocking with you. Because a man knows, and if he wants a woman, he's gonna have her, and he's not gonna have her. Like, single.
- [32:16]
E
I think desperate men know right away.
- [32:19]
A
Why they gotta be desperate.
- [32:20]
E
Cause they desperate. Oh, yeah. You gonna be my one. First date. First date.
- [32:24]
A
They're not saying first date.
- [32:26]
E
They're saying, I knew you was the one.
- [32:27]
A
They're saying, like, if a man ain't.
- [32:29]
E
Desperate, you was the one. I knew it. You ain't had a man tell you that off the rib.
- [32:34]
A
Yeah, I have. And they were crazy, and I didn't mess with that.
- [32:37]
E
Exactly. Cause he was desperate. He was thirsty.
- [32:39]
A
No, I could tell when a man's different, but there's a difference between. So listen. Listen to this scenario. Listen to this scenario. Scenario, you're dating a man. Not you. No, I'm saying, like, a woman is dating a man.
- [32:50]
E
Okay, okay, okay.
- [32:51]
A
A woman is dating a man, and they're getting to know each other. And all of this. It's been months. Okay? So she comes to this man, and she's like, hey, you know, we've had. We're having sex. I'm meeting family members. We're doing everything. We're intertwining. We're with each other every day. She asked the man, hey, like, what are we doing? You know, Like, I want to be intentional about dating, and I want to. Like, if we're going to be spending and investing this much time with you, like, I want us to be in a relationship. Like, what is this? And he's like, like, you know, I don't really, like. I don't like the relationship title thing. Like, I don't want to really be in a relationship right now. You know, whatever the case is. Do you feel like. Because he's just not really rocking with her like that? Basically, because this is the debate. They're saying, like, if a man is telling you, like, no, he don't want to be in a relationship, it's the. With you is silent. He don't want to be with you.
- [33:50]
E
I can see. I can see where he coming from. Because he could be. His spirit could be broken to where he's thinking about it. Like, seriously.
- [33:59]
A
Okay, go ahead.
- [34:00]
E
You could be messing with a lady, and it's kind of like you got one foot in, one foot out, and then you just be like, when you try to put both feet through the door, you hesitant and kind of scared of that. Cause you done been through that before, so you, like. And you comfortable where it is right there, right in that, like, that middle ground. You know what I'm saying? So it may take some guys and it may take some girls a little longer to get over that hump of putting both feet in the door. And so I can see, you know. Cause you've been traumatized when you Overly committed when you went all the way in. It's fun. It's fun. Right now. I like where we at. And then, you know, I like this speed right now. I like the lane we in, but now you trying to jump into the carpool and all that. Like, hold on, hold on.
- [34:45]
A
But a lot of women claim that, though, and I've seen it firsthand that those type of relationships never end in a relationship. It always ends in them being disappointed or heartbroken. Like, they were investing all this Time. And then he never ended up wanting to make him the girlfriend. And like, you know, she went, she waited and waited and waited. And a year passed, two years passed, and they're in this long term situationship and they just wasted two years of their life with someone who doesn't have a plan on really wanting to be with them.
- [35:15]
E
Well, you gotta understand at some point, you're just some work.
- [35:19]
A
Yeah. So how does a woman.
- [35:20]
E
What I'm asking is committed as a. Not even though we're not even talking about marriage. Committed to being a woman.
- [35:26]
A
That's what we're saying.
- [35:26]
E
You just some work.
- [35:27]
A
So that's what I'm asking. I'm saying, oh yeah, you just work. At what point though, should a woman know, okay, I'm just some work? Like, is it three months? Like, where they're. You're doing all of this and a man's still just like, no, I don't want to be in a relationship?
- [35:40]
E
Y' all know when y' all work, y' all know.
- [35:43]
A
I don't know. That's what we're asking. A lot of women need to answer. We're trying to get the answer from a man.
- [35:48]
E
Y' all spend it like you said, y' all spending every day or every other day, every weekend together. However much time y' all spending, you know, use some work. If you ain't, you ain't his girl. You know, I mean, I mean, I mean, check this out. After about like. See, after about 10 sexual encounters with the man, and it ain't no commitment. Okay, you work. All right, Maybe less than that. It depends on how long you saying. A couple years. Damn.
- [36:17]
A
No. People be doing that for situationships, back.
- [36:20]
E
And forth after like 10. If y' all ain't together, then use some work.
- [36:23]
A
That's okay. That's what the woman want to know. Okay, thank you.
- [36:26]
E
That's about 10 times of having sex with the same person if y' all ain't committed or, or you don't see nothing else. You work, Period. Period.
- [36:36]
A
And do you think that a woman has to ask a man, like, what are we? Because there's also, like. In my opinion, I think as soon as you have to ask a man that, he not really you, not nothing. Because if he wanted you to be like, men are leaders and they're hunters, and if they wanted you to be yours and they would say that, you.
- [36:55]
E
Got to be able to put a read on the guy. Like, you got to look at the places he's taking you to eat. You got to see if he's holding your hand in public or certain situations.
- [37:05]
A
Yeah.
- [37:05]
E
You got to see, like, when you're out on the day, how he's sitting, how close he's sitting or how far he's sitting. Or if y' all in the cut, if y' all always in the cut, you know what I'm saying? Like, oh, we had this nice restaurant, but you in the back corner where nobody can see you all the time. If you ain't getting. If you ain't seeing all this, you know, tonight, it's Friday night. Hey, baby, let's go, let's go, you know, let's go to the game, you know, but you in the cut at the game. You ain't front row. You ain't. You know, if you. Let's go. You know, you ain't. You ain't being highlighted. You know what I'm saying? When he highlighting you, then it's something. Or he like, let's go to certain cities. He meeting you, like in Milwaukee or Utah or something. He ain't taking you to New York or LA that you saw.
- [37:56]
A
I'm crying. That is crazy.
- [37:58]
E
Listen, and you ain't going to the big cities with him. You going to all the little. You going to like 10 cities, but you going to like Utah, Wyoming, you going to like Nebraska. You gotta understand that you some work. Then he taking you everywhere in Sacramento. He taking you everywhere in these places. He gonna have you front row at the comedy club is Charlotte.
- [38:22]
A
Okay, I'm done. It's not Charlotte. Okay, so this is my last question.
- [38:30]
E
All right?
- [38:31]
A
Who do you think is more valuable in a relationship? A man or a woman who gives more?
- [38:37]
E
Well, it's always going to be the man, because the man going to always genuinely, genuinely love the woman for who she is and what she gives to him physically, mentally, spiritually. You know, I feel like most women get with men based on outer worldly things that he can do and give to the woman. So it has to be the man. I mean, obviously, like. Like when you look at the relationships and you like, damn, you know, the man is always taught to be the provider, the caretaker, the. All of these strong things. And, you know, women look for that. And when a man ain't got that, you like, you know, he got a good personality, but he can't take care of me, you know what I'm saying? So, like, women are always looking for the prize.
- [39:38]
A
Not all women, though.
- [39:39]
E
Yeah, women.
- [39:40]
A
That's not all women. I didn't know a bunch of women who be with men who don't be having nothing and they just love them.
- [39:46]
E
Love them. Yeah, yeah, those, you know, the four fives and six. No, not everyone's the ones they. More evenly.
- [39:54]
A
You'll be surprised how many, how many real bad bitches be with like a broke man who they be taking care of, who'll be driving their car because they live overseas. No, I'm telling you, I personally know, like, you'll be surprised. Like, it's okay. So they say broke men have great sex. Way better sex than anyone. And you know, they might not be lying on that one. And a lot of women, they get caught up. Like, I promise you. Listen, listen to the story.
- [40:25]
E
Better sex.
- [40:26]
A
No, I don't know. But let me tell you this though. I want to know. I have an exact example. I know someone real bad. Beautiful girl bomb. She lives in a fly penthouse. She's a boss, gets her own bread, real pretty. She's like up there. She is having a relationship with the maintenance man in the building and she's falling in love because she's having sex. And women release a hormone when they have sex. And now she's starting to fall in love with the man and maybe he can move in with me. And you know how many bad bitches do that? You will be so surprised. They don't promote it or they'll make him look a certain way and present him and give him the outfits and get them on. There's way more of that than you know, There might be more of that looking for boy toys, but they, they fall in love with them. They started as a sex relationship and they fall in love with them. You think that the person who came on our part, it don't even matter. There's a lot of women who have that situation.
- [41:26]
E
Man, she almost let it go. Thank goodness.
- [41:29]
A
There's a lot of women who have that situation. I'm just going to say that right now. And they will take care of a man all day. There's several. There's a lot of women like that. So I want to be very clear that it's not.
- [41:45]
E
Where they hang at.
- [41:47]
A
They hang around. I don't know. But those are the women. You know why a lot of women do that too? Because a lot of women who are quote unquote bad and get all their bodies done. Why do you think they got all their bodies in low self esteem? What do you think women with low self esteem do? They can get with a man who can make them feel good because they're lower than them. So I'm gonna put you On a pedestal. I'm gonna make you feel good. A lot of women like that have gotten their heartbroken from a celebrity man or an athlete or a rich man. So they're like, you know what? My self esteem is too low. I'm gonna go get with a man who worships the ground I walk on, who thinks I'm a boss. And you don't know how many women do that. I mean, like, I've seen thousands of women that look literally like, oh, the picture public ig model that have that as a man. And then a lot of people don't know that the man is broke because they build him up and they make him look a certain way and they give him their card when they go to dinner, pay with my card.
- [42:44]
E
And then when he on her, then.
- [42:45]
A
Where you go, that's what happens.
- [42:47]
E
Then where you go from there, that's.
- [42:48]
A
What happens most of the time. And you know that there's so much that happened. Like if you look on the shade room, oh, he, I was helping you. That Hazel E. Girl, I was, she got a man just like that. He was attractive, put him up, up, did all this. Oh, then he on her and she's like, I gave you everything. That happens all the time. So please don't confuse that. Like, there's a lot of bad, quote unquote who do that. And a lot of them bad have mental problems and low self esteem and they're not mentally right. Like, that's just the truth. And I, and I've seen it, they're a little slow and they just have these like men that they get because they want to be praised.
- [43:23]
E
That's why I say lead them alone, period.
- [43:25]
A
So like, don't ever get that twisted. They, they wish they can be. A lot of women with low self esteem can't even be with a man of that caliber. Because to be with a man who is rich, successful, handsome, tall, celebrities or whatever, you have to have a high level of self esteem. Because you cannot sit there and be with that type of man who gets all that attention every day. And you know, wherever he goes, he's getting women thrown at him and have low self esteem. You can't, you will be miserable every day, crying, stress cracked out, like, you cannot live like that. So you gonna get with a man who's, you know, not gonna do that, except he gonna end up doing that on you when you boss him up anyways. But it's not gonna be on the level that that man could do it.
- [44:05]
E
But the men do it all the time. So I don't have no sympathy for that.
- [44:09]
A
I'm not asking.
- [44:10]
E
The man is always bossing up these other. These females that don't got shit. Bossing them up. It don't go both ways because more men do it than women.
- [44:18]
A
You'll be surprised.
- [44:19]
E
Thousands of women than millions of men is doing it.
- [44:22]
A
Okay. It's never a competition, but I'm just letting you know that it's a lot of women who do that. And men do that for women, too. And both of them get on. That's why the Bible says get with someone you're equally yoked with. Pure point blank. And that doesn't mean financial. People always think it means financial. It's a mental thing. You need to be with someone that's mentally on that same level. Period. Anyways, yeah, that was. That's what's up. That's what's up is great. Like, you have a problem. You have a serious problem. Like, seriously, Seriously. Anyways, thank you guys for joining Truth After Dark. This was a great episode. It was a little shorter than usual, but we're gonna have more episodes, more frequency, and more things coming extremely soon for you guys. Make sure you subscribe, you tap in. You're following at Paul Pierce. He has a new show called what We Eat In. Y' all will see it on Truth After Dark. Make sure you guys t in period. Boom. Make sure you guys are subscribed. Liked all that stuff. We love y'.
- [45:21]
E
All.
- [45:22]
A
Peace.
- [45:23]
E
Later. This is the taking over the game. All right, everybody. Welcome to Truth After Dark.
- [45:54]
A
Do you think that men or women are more toxic?
- [46:03]
F
This is Reshawn McDonald from Money Making Conversations Masterclass. How can you free your team from time consuming office tasks? Amazon Business empowers leaders to not only streamline purchasing, but better support their teams. Smart business buying tools enable buyers to find and purchase items fast so they can focus on strategy and growth. It's time to free up your teams and focus on your future. Learn more about the technology, insights and support available at Amazon Business.
- [46:36]
B
Big deposits deserve big rewards. Kraken is offering up to 2% back on crypto and cash deposits made this October. Deposit a thousand dollars or more and watch your reward grow as the Kraken community deposits reach 500 million. Opt in through the app and start stacking. Get Kraken in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss and is offered to US customers through PayWord Interactive Inc. Terms apply.
- [47:08]
G
Get ready to power up your play with Nintendo Switch 2. Power up the visuals with 4K support and a bigger, more vivid screen. Power up the fun with exclusive new games like Mario Kart World and Donkey Kong bonanza. Nintendo Switch 2 all together, anytime anywhere games rated E to E10 plus games and systems sold separately. Compatible TV required for 4K display.
- [47:36]
A
This is an iHeart podcast.