Club Shay Shay - Bert Kreischer Part 2

Summary

Club Shay Shay – Bert Kreischer (Part 2)

Podcast: Club Shay Shay
Host: Shannon Sharpe
Guest: Bert Kreischer
Release Date: January 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

In Part 2 of his appearance on Club Shay Shay, comedian Bert Kreischer joins Shannon Sharpe for a fast-moving, story-filled conversation. They dive into Bert’s most infamous stories (the Russian Mafia tale), his perspective on storytelling and comedy, the highs and lows of his financial journey, viral moments in stand-up history, and inside looks at the Netflix Tom Brady roast. The episode is full of candid advice for up-and-coming comedians, commentary on luck versus hard work, reflections on fame and relevance, and Bert’s signature blend of boisterous humor and authenticity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Russian Mafia Story: Origins and Legacy

[01:33–12:22]

• Shannon brings up Bert’s legendary “Russian mafia” college story – a tale Bert is widely credited with turning into viral comedy gold.
• Bert discusses the origins:
  • First told the story on Loveline with Dr. Drew; it became his brand-defining bit.

    "Dr. Drew said to me, 'This is your story. This is your movie.'" (08:00)

  • Initially skeptical about telling such a long story on stage (“Standup comedy should be done in small bites”), Bert was encouraged by Joe Rogan to make it a cornerstone of his set.
• The impact:
  • Verified online by classmates; the story went viral, driving a huge wave of new fans and ticket sales.
  • Bert reflects on that legendary moment:

    "It was like 3 million views, 5 million, then 7 million... 30 million, 40 million, 50 million. And then all of a sudden, every show's sold out." (10:46)

Storytelling in Comedy & Truth Versus Entertainment

[04:22–07:19]

• Bert explains that as a storyteller, his mandate is to entertain—factual accuracy comes second.

  "I'm a storyteller. It's based in truth, but it's gotta be funny." (04:41)

• He shares his experience with the Tracy Morgan story controversy and the eventual blessing from Morgan to keep telling it, underlining the unpredictable line between fact, memory, and performance.

The Importance of Luck in a Comedy Career

[20:41–24:28]

• Bert argues that luck is pivotal—sometimes even more than hard work—for a standout comedy career.

  “I believe in luck more than I do hard work.” (20:41, 24:19)

• Illustrates with famous stories of career luck/virality—Bill Burr’s Philadelphia rant, Jim Jefferies’s onstage assault, and Joe Rogan’s public confrontation with Carlos Mencia.

  “Every comic has that one lucky moment, that one crazy moment that happens to them, and that makes you relatable.” (23:12)

Rebuilding After Financial Struggles

[24:28–27:27]

• Bert shares his own reckless spending in his 20s and facing sudden tax debt while starting a family.

  “You're spending money like you have cancer.” (24:54)

• His wife’s feelings of “bad luck,” and Bert’s enduring belief that money will show up again.

  “I have so much good luck that my good luck will overwhelm you, and you're going to be lucky soon. Don't worry. We're going to get through this.” (26:27)

Honesty and Vulnerability in Marriage & Jokes

[27:27–29:44]

• Stories about sharing financial burdens in marriage and the realities of accruing debt together, including a joke his wife hated.

  “We should have anal sex ... for 25 f***ing thousand dollars.” (27:54)

• Bert’s comfort in oversharing on podcasts, sometimes forgetting that “people are gonna hear this.”

  “Sometimes you do a podcast, you forget people are gonna hear this.” (30:03)

The Tom Brady Netflix Roast: Backstage and Onstage

[31:12–36:28]

• Bert details his participation in the Tom Brady roast and how it evolved from a typical roast slot to a Sportscenter parody with Tom himself.

  “I said, I'll do it, but I would love to do it with Tom and I'd love to do something different.” (31:20)

• Recalls Nikki Glaser’s show-stealing set and the backstage realization that her career was about to fundamentally change.

  “We were watching someone's life change. ... She’s never going to be the same.” (33:15)

• Stories of Chappelle hanging out in the green room, wild post-show moments, and Gronk’s infatuation with meeting Bert’s wife and Chappelle.

Roasts: Boundaries & Tough Audiences

[38:51–41:52]

• Dissects what goes on and off-limits at celebrity roasts; why Bert feels he’s not a classic roast comic.
• Relays being pushed into tough jokes with Cole Hauser and Kid Rock at other roasts and unanticipated challenges backstage.

Jokes You Won't Tell & Working Around Offense

[42:45–45:24]

• Bert discusses today’s sensitivities and the lines he won’t cross—acknowledging a particularly good joke with an N-word punchline he won’t tell.

  “I had a joke where the punchline was the N word. And it's so good. It's so good. I can't tell it.” (43:25)

• Describes how challenging it is to craft edgy material without being offensive, and how it’s a creative challenge he enjoys.

Viral Moments and Internet-Breaking Interviews

[45:24–49:26]

• On Shannon’s viral Katt Williams interview—Bert praises the format and organic chaos.

  “That was two guys talking as if you didn't know anyone was listening.” (49:11)

• Parallels between old-school Rogan, when few realized the size of the audience, and the authenticity that creates viral, lasting content.

Comedy Hierarchies & The Unfollowable Ralphie May

[54:21–56:50]

• Bert on who is truly 'unfollowable' in stand-up:

  “There’s not one person alive that I would follow... but there’s one person dead who I would to this day and never in my life ever want to follow, and that’s Ralphie May.” (54:21)

• Describes Ralphie May’s legendary ability to dominate a room so fully it couldn't be reset.

Reflections on Success, Money, Fame, and Relevance

[64:24–69:22]

• Discusses the psychological effects and shifting meaning of financial security, spending, and fame with Shannon.

  “The money's not real. It's just a number on a computer. ... So then what's the point?” (66:00)

• Revelations about survivor’s remorse, envy from others as you rise, and how to maintain respect for your own journey and for peers' successes.

Embracing Authenticity & Speaking Style

[71:54–73:22]

• Shannon and Bert reflect on career uniqueness—Shannon referencing overcoming expectations about his southern accent and style for TV, while Bert notes his own speech impediment and how it's become part of his charm.

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Notable Quotes

• On Storytelling:

  "I'm a storyteller. It's based in truth, but it's gotta be funny."
  (Bert Kreischer, 04:41)

• On Going Viral:

  "That story went viral like crazy. ... every show's sold out."
  (Bert Kreischer, 10:46)

• On Luck vs. Hard Work:

  “I believe in luck more than I do hard work.”
  (Bert Kreischer, 20:41)

• On Viral Comedy Moments:

  "Every comic has that one lucky moment, that one crazy moment that happens to them, and that makes you relatable."
  (Bert Kreischer, 23:12)

• On Financial Struggles:

  “You're spending money like you have cancer.”
  (Bert Kreischer repeating his business manager, 24:54)

• On the Tom Brady Roast/Watching Nikki Glaser Break Out:

  "We were watching someone's life change. ... She’s never gonna be the same."
  (Bert Kreischer, 33:15)

• On Being 'Unfollowable':

  "Ralphie [May] was unfollowable. ... He would take one premise and give you 20 punchlines. ... No one does that."
  (Bert Kreischer, 54:53, 56:05)

• On Authenticity in the Media:

  “Once I embraced who I was ... you're a legend.”
  (Bert Kreischer to Shannon Sharpe, 72:56)

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Memorable Moments & Timestamps

• Tracy Morgan conversation & blessing to retell the story:
  [04:53–07:19]

• Bert’s first viral Russian Mafia story appearance on Loveline:
  [07:21–08:12]

• Classmate confirms Russian Mafia story online, posts pictures:
  [09:26–10:46]

• Reflection on viral nature & instant impact on Bert’s career:
  [10:46–11:46]

• Discussion on what makes a story “your story” and the role of storytelling in comedy:
  [12:22–13:12]

• Debate on luck vs. hard work—examples from Burr, Jefferies, Rogan:
  [21:11–24:19]

• Kevin Hart, luck, and relatability in comedy success:
  [20:41–24:19]

• Handling money, debt, and financial missteps:
  [24:28–29:44]

• Bert’s joke about his wife’s student debt and her reaction:
  [27:54–28:26]

• The Tom Brady roast: backstage, Nikki Glaser, Chappelle in the green room:
  [32:16–36:28]

• Boundaries at celebrity roasts, joke writing under pressure:
  [38:51–41:52]

• Naming Ralphie May as ‘unfollowable’:
  [54:21–56:50]

• Discussion on how Bert and Shannon value authenticity and refusing to shed regional/speech markers:
  [71:54–73:22]

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Guest Advice and Reflections

For Up-and-Coming Comedians

• Don’t take anyone’s advice blindly:

  “The best advice is don't take anyone's advice.” (17:04)

• If you do one thing, “be undeniable”—stand out so much no one can ignore you. (20:17)
• Don’t rush to film a special—wait until you’re genuinely ready, and let your core material develop.

On Handling Fame and Professional Rivalry

• Haters will emerge as you rise—survivor’s guilt is real.
• Don’t harbor ill will; appreciate others’ success and use it as motivation, not fuel for resentment.

  "That's a loser's mentality. ... What kind of loser looks at that?" (69:22)

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Tone and Atmosphere

Candid, warm, and frequently uproarious—Bert’s fast-paced riffing is perfectly in sync with Shannon’s grounded, direct style. The chat is peppered with self-deprecating humor, unfiltered opinions, stories both wild and relatable, and genuine advice. The conversation oscillates between laughter over outrageous life moments and meaningful honesty about ambition, struggle, and personal growth.

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For Listeners

This episode is required listening for standup fans, working comics, or anyone interested in how stories, luck, and authenticity shape a public career. With its deep dives into myth-making, viral moments, and the mental game behind the scenes of show business, Bert and Shannon offer a masterclass in both candor and entertainment. Whether you’re a diehard Machine fan, a comedy nerd, or just love stories about resilience, this Club Shay Shay is not to be missed.

Transcript

[Bert Kreischer]

This is Julian Edelman from Games with Names. Now let's get into the serious stuff. We're talking football food, specifically Daisy French onion dip. These are so delicious. They're like homemade dips made with real herb and spices. Also made with some Daisy sour cream. Daisy sour cream is a long standing staple for Taco Tuesday. They also have Daisy Ranch diploma. So get out there and give Daisy French onion dip a try. You will not regret it.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Please welcome aboard the Johnson family. The whole fam's here for the Disney cruise. So you know, we came to play. And listen, the adults are going to have a ball. First we're chilling in the infinity pool, onto massages at Sense's spa, then gliding into Star wars hyperspace lounge for a toast. We're even going to kick back with Mickey on Disney's private island. That's how we get down. Because Disney Cruise Line is where we came to play.

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[Shannon Sharpe]

Thank you for coming back. Part two is underway. When you were in college, one of your best stories that you told was being a part of the Russian mafia.

[Bert Kreischer]

As a college student.

[Shannon Sharpe]

How did you come up with that?

[Bert Kreischer]

I did it. I don't know. Like when you talk about being on the Ravens, how do you come up with that?

[Shannon Sharpe]

I did it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. I mean, I did it.

[Shannon Sharpe]

So how did you get involved in that?

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, let's top it off. What are we doing? God damn, bro. Yeah, one of us go. I love the pours you give. Jesus. What is this? This is really good. This is not. This is whiskey.

[Shannon Sharpe]

This is a cognac.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, it's not.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes, it is.

[Bert Kreischer]

I only had cognac one time in my life. Two times in my life. Two times in my life.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

One time it was at the Russian ballet with Igor the gangster.

[Shannon Sharpe]

It was.

[Bert Kreischer]

All they sold was cognac. Yes. And I swear to God. And he gave it to me. And I love drinking and I love. If there's something I don't want to do, drinking can get me through it. Right? And he brought us eight baby bottles of cognac. For the Russian ballet, they normally do vodka, though. All they had was cognac.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I took one sip, and I almost threw up. The other time I had Cognac was Louis XV, 13th. That guy, too. And it was on my wedding honeymoon, and it was with an Italian mafia guy who took me and my wife, his wife dawn and my wife Leanne to dinner at this very. We were on a private island, and he got Louis xiii. And I threw it up just outside the restaurant. And I love this. And I've never liked cognac in my life.

[Shannon Sharpe]

This is mine. It's a vsop. Vsop. Very special. Old, pale, aged between four and six years. In order for it to be a cognac, it has to originate in the cognac region for at least two years. So this is a combination between a petit champagne and a uni blanc grape. Each region have their grapes that have a specific taste.

[Bert Kreischer]

Well, what you got? What you got? This is my vodka.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Are you rushing?

[Bert Kreischer]

No. And hello. We make it in Texas. That's all I know.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Is it a potato vodka?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, it's the other one. Yeah, it's our vodka. Take that. That's the best for you. Okay, but I'm enjoying this cognac. I don't want to. I can't switch the volume.

[Shannon Sharpe]

No, no, you can't, because you definitely be growing up.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Russian mafia. So in all honesty, like I said.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You know, when you tell the story, people not go, they didn't believe you.

[Bert Kreischer]

No one believes any of my stories. The one that killed me the most out of all of it is like. And it's like. It's like the worst moniker you can get. First of all, I'm a storyteller, so my story has to be entertaining first, factual second, I can't. If you want to hear facts, that's called nonfiction. It's not what I do.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm a storyteller. It's based in truth, but it's gotta be funny. The one that killed me the hardest was the Tracy Morgan story, which is the best story, I think, ever. Ever, ever.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

And it's the first time I met Tracy Morgan. And I told that. And drama arose around it, but Tracy heard it, and he didn't remember it or didn't. And he said that never happened. And that bummed me out so much. And then one day recently, I got a FaceTime from Tracy Morgan. And he was like, you know, I heard you have a story about me. I said, I do. He said, I'd like to hear that. Story. I was like, okay. So I flew to New York.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You couldn't tell him over FaceTime?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, listen, you want to hear a story, I'll fly to you. If it's Tracy fucking Morgan, he's. Dude, listen, goats are goats, right?

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

No shade on any comic. Chris Rock has to understand this. He's a brilliant comic. He's the reason I got into Stand Up. That Bring the Pain is the best special I've ever seen in my entire life to date. And I know that Chappelles are just getting better, but, I mean, Bring the Pain. Tracy Morgan's on a different level. Tracy Morgan is funny 100% of the time and 100% of the things he does. He can make eating crackers funny. I watched a man eat Chick Fil A and he had me rolling. I mean, the guy is just. He is comedy incarnate. So the fact that I had any kind of beef or any tension with Tracy Morgan broke my heart. I'm such a fan of his. So when he says to me, I'd like to hear that story, I said, I'll fly to New York. I'll tell it to you. So I flew to New York, I sat down with him, I told him the story. He remembered. He corrected me on a couple parts of it. We laughed hysterically. And he looked at me and he goes, you have my permission to tell that story. And I went. I was like. That was like. That was like, wow. Oh, it was like the greatest. It's the greatest feeling I've ever had. I was with my buddy Ari Shafir had helped set that meeting up. Right? And even Ari and I, we went out and started drinking immediately. It was like 11 o' clock in the afternoon. We went out drinking and we're like, can you believe that just happened? Wow. And he's like, so many people thought you made that up. And I could never make it up. It's too funny. It's Tracy. It's. Tracy is just. He is just. Anything around him is hysterical. But people always thought the Russian mafia one just made it up. But by the way, off to the side, if I do make these up, then just maybe I'm a masterful storyteller. But I didn't. That's the sadness of me, is you already heard it. I'm pulling from.

[Shannon Sharpe]

I barely recognize previous experience.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. And so I was doing Loveline with Dr. Drew probably 17 years ago, and someone called up one of the callers and they're like, hey, caller, have any questions? And they're like, no, Bert, why don't you tell the story about the time you robbed your friends on a train in Russia? And I was like, oh, shit. I was like, yeah, really? And Drew's like, what? I was like, yeah, I robbed the train with the Russian mafia. And he was like, wait, what? And I told the story for the very first time there on Loveline is probably the purest that story is. You're ever gonna hear. That story is. That's bare bones of my memory.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Wow.

[Bert Kreischer]

And Dr. Drew said to me, this is your story. This is your movie. And he asked me to come back the next night. And the next night, I came back on Loveline again. This is when Loveline was, like, on the charts.

[Shannon Sharpe]

It was crazy.

[Bert Kreischer]

And he said, tell the story one more time. And I told it again that night. And then I told it like, elliot in the morning. I told it on Cowhead. I told it on. I told it on a couple places that, like, my friends were, where it was like a safe place. And then I did Rogan for the first time. And Rogan and I just casually said, not thinking, like. I was like. He was like, you got great stories. I go, well, next time I'm back here, let me tell you about the time I got involved with the Russian mafia and robbed a train. And he was like, what? And he called me like, a week later. He's like, dude, come on the podcast again. This is old school Rogan. You know, this is like when he did it at his house. So I went and I told that story, and he said to me, he said, you need. That's your story. You need to tell it on stage. I was never gonna tell it on stage. It's a 13 minute story, 12 minute story. Standup comedy should be done in small bites. Long form comedy was not. No one was doing that. Not Chris Rock, not Kat. And I mean that with respect. No one was doing 13 minute bits. Maybe Kat was. I don't know. But. And so I worked on this story. I went to Columbus, Ohio, and I told it the first time there. And then I kept working on it, and it just would bomb. And it would bomb, and it would bomb. And then one day, it started getting better. And then one day I found an ending to the story. But, yeah, and then here's the funny part. The really interesting part is I thought I'd milked it, right? Yeah. I'd gotten it. I told it on my special. I did a Showtime special. I put it there, and I was like, all right, everyone that's seen, it's Gonna see it. It's got 3 million views from Rogan. 3 million views on this other thing. It's good. And then I posted it December 27, 2016, I think, on Facebook. Just, you know, like, I just took it off my special, posted it, and one of the first people to leave a comment was this woman. And her comment was. It was like the very first comment you'd see, and it was, I was in Bert's rushing class. I was on this trip to Russia. This story's 100% true. He robbed us. And then she tagged everyone in my class in that post. And then they started posting pictures of the Russian trip. And everyone was like, this is a trip. And people were just chiming in, direct messaging these people, like, this is a true story. And people were like, yeah, this is a true story. You robbed us. And they're like, wait, hold on. Do you have a picture of the gangster of Igor? And they're like, yeah, here's a picture of Igor and arm wrestling. And it became this big chat thread.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Wow.

[Bert Kreischer]

And that story went viral. And that went viral like crazy. I've never had anything like that in my life. I never will have anything like that. I'll never notice anything like that. I mean, the first night was, like, 3 million views, and the next night's 5 million, then 7 million, then 9 million, 12 million, 20 million, 30 million, 40 million, 50 million. And then all of a sudden, it's like, every show's sold out. Every. You're going to theaters, then theaters are sold out. And then I kept saying, I'll retire the story when I stop doing bigger venues, right? As long as my venues are getting bigger, that means it's new people that.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Never heard it for the first time.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then you're doing, what, 35,000 at the gorge. And you're like, well, I guess I'm telling it here, right? And then you're doing arenas, and, you know, I'm on my, what, third arena tour right now? And you're like, but, you know, it's. Here's the deal. My favorite comic. One of my favorite comics in the world is Ron White. His Tater Salad story is one of the best stories I've ever heard my entire life. And every time I see him do stand up, I just want to hear him tell it. You know, it's like, there's certain things you like.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah, it's like your favorite singer, you want to hear him sing. That's. You know, you want to hear him.

[Bert Kreischer]

Sing, and it's not cool. It's not supposed to be like that, but, like. Like, if I see Cat.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And Cat comes up to me right before, and he goes, is there anything you want to see? I go, oh, my God. Can you just do all of Pimp Chronicles? Like, you know, or like, if Chris Rock's like, hey, man, I'm going on stage. Is there any joke you'd like to hear? I go, oh, black people versus, you know. Yeah. What are we talking about? Yeah, I would love to hear that. I would love to hear that in person, you know? And so that's how I feel as, like, a comic. I go to make sure they get their money's worth.

[Shannon Sharpe]

But you stole a boat.

[Bert Kreischer]

We stole a boat. Yeah, we.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You were you not. Have you not heard stories of the Russian prison?

[Bert Kreischer]

No. Hang on. So just so we're clear, this is 1995. So no one knew about what was going on. I mean, Communism fell in 2000, in 88. Right. This is 2000 with. This is 95. So there's no. All we knew about Russians is, like, they didn't have toilet paper, and they waited in line for bread. Right. And that's all we knew.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then we went over there, and my teacher came back, and she had. We flew on a Delta flight. I was in, like, row 35. I was in the back. I know that sounded like flying in the back of planes. She sat next to me and she goes, I need to show you something. And she undid her pants, and she pulled out an inside fanny pack, and it had cash. I said, what's that? She goes, we're paying off the Mafia to keep us safe, and we're all smuggling money in. And I went. This trip just got awesome. I was like, are you being serious? And she's like, yeah. And I'm freaking out. And I was like, oh, my God, this is going to be a blast. This is going to be like, this. The Mafia. And they told us that the Mafia runs this city. They rent it. There was a magazine, a newspaper out at the time of these two Americans. I wish someone would find it. And it's really fascinating. And they were seeing how much. At one point, they said, I wonder if we could put a body in the trunk and get pulled over by the cops. I wonder how much it would cost to pay them off. And it was so little that they're like. By the end, they just had a head on their dashboard. It was, like, crazy. It was lawless. Wow. It was lawless. And so we got there, and they told us that they're like, this is lawless. These guys are gonna stay with you. They'll walk you to class. Don't go out on your own. Don't go. I mean, you can explore around the neighborhood, but don't go. This is. It's a world. And I remember one year, one day, it's the Russian May Day, the day everyone goes out on the Kiev river and they go into the Gulf of Finland on boats. And my next door neighbor was the mafia guy, Igor. And I had the room right next to him. And I used to go over every morning and see what's up. And I went over, and all his boys were in there, either eating dried fish, drinking Balticas. And he's like. I was like, what's up? He's like, yeah, sit down, you know? And I was like, hey. And I said, we're going on a boat today. And he just says he's been drinking all night. He goes, no boat. I said, what? And he goes, we have no boat. It's the busiest day on river. How do I get boat? I was like, well, my whole class is in ponchos with wrist seasickness bands on. They think we're going on a boat today. And he goes, I have no boat. And his buddies are like, we have no boat. And I was like, we have no boat. And he's like, no. Bolt teacher comes down and is like, hey, are we ready to go on the boat? And then all of them are like, let's go. And they all just grab the cases of beer and the dried fish, and we start walking to the Kiev river, which was, like, two blocks away from us. And all of a sudden, out of an alleyway, comes one of Igor's buddies. And he comes sprinting, goes, igor, we have boat. He goes, we have boat. He goes, I've got the boat. Igor hits me. We've got the boat. I'm like, we've got boat. We get there, and there's the perfect boat. The best way to describe this boat is like the boat from Sid and Nancy that the Sex Pistols took out on the river and played God Save the Queen. That's the boat. That's the boat. Wow. And it's beautiful. We walk on the dock, we load up, we put beer in there. And the dockmaster comes down and he's like, gentlemen, gentlemen, I need papers for bolt. And Igor's buddy lifts up his shirt, shows the gun, and goes, here are papers. And the guy's like, all right, have it back by three. So we stole a boat. Wow. Yeah. And Then I remember telling my teacher, I was like, yo, his buddy has a gun. And she was like, oh, that's not good. I was like, no shit. She was like, well, they seem to like you. You hang out with them. And so I hung out with this guy. Partied on the bottom of a boat.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You plan on going back to Russia?

[Bert Kreischer]

Never. Listen, here's the deal. Here's the deal. You know, after the whole. After the whole Riyadh Comedy Festival debacle, if Putin hits me up and he wants me to do a private show, I think PR wise, it's not a bad look.

[Shannon Sharpe]

If Putin.

[Bert Kreischer]

I gotta be honest with you, man. I've always put it out there. I, like all my boys went over to Riyadh and it didn't bother me, right? I got the offer, but they wouldn't let me perform shirtless. So I passed. I didn't know about their politics. I was like, not shirtless. But if. I mean, if Putin hit me up privately and he was like, yo, I want you to do a stand up. I want your machine. I'd be like, I'll fucking fly to Russia.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You wouldn't be scared?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, I'd be terrified.

[Shannon Sharpe]

But I'm still going.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's another story. Yeah, come on. Something special. I go to wrestling.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then I ride shirtless on a horse with Putin.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Do you give advice to young and up and coming comedians?

[Bert Kreischer]

I do, but the best advice is don't take anyone's advice, right? I mean, I have given people advice. I'll give people advice of like, of like how to prepare for a special.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Disney Cruise Line Promoter]

Okay, ladies, when I said we came to play, didn't I mean it? This Disney cruise got me feeling. Feeling like a queen. We can get massages at Sense's spa. Have a meet and greet with Black Panther. Ooh, I love him. And I can't wait to sunbathe on the private island. And the kids will be fine.

[Bert Kreischer]

Girl, they're good.

[Disney Cruise Line Promoter]

Exactly. While they hang in the kids club with Mickey Mouse, we can do our thing and do it well all day. Disney Cruise Line is where we came to play.

[T-Mobile Announcer]

Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math@t mobile.com switch. And now T Mobile is in US cellular stores.

[Verizon Plan Announcer]

Savings versus Comparable Verizon Plan plus the cost of optional benefits plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required.

[Paramount Plus UFC Announcer]

Paramount plus is the new home of UFC and the new era comes out swinging with UFC 324 on January 24th. In the main event highlight machine, Justin Gaethje faces off against Paddy the Baddie Pimblet for the interim lightweight belt. Plus Sean Suga o' Malley takes on Song Yudong in a stand up war filled with high level striking. Catch all the action from the Octagon and stream UFC 324 live at 9pm Eastern on Paramount Pay per View. Just got knocked out. Stream every numbered event and Fight Night Live at no additional cost with your Paramount subscription. You can also watch pre fight docuseries, full length replays, archive fights from years past and more. It's time to say goodbye to pay per view and hello to Paramount. Visit paramountplus.com UFC to get started.

[Bert Kreischer]

But you know, but you gotta be.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Pretty good to prepare for a special. Cause if you're an up and coming comedian, you're a couple of years away from a special.

[Bert Kreischer]

I told someone the advice the other day. They're like, what advice would you give me? I said, don't shoot a special. And they're like, what do you mean? I go, everyone's doing specials, there's too many specials. I go, just wait, just wait and get really, really good. But you know, my advice is from a 53 year old comedian who started when there was no Internet, right? You know, so it's like, don't listen to me. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I mean, the best advice I ever got was from Rogan and I didn't understand it. We were sitting in the back of the Comedy Store and he goes, he goes, you need a Netflix special. And I was like, yeah. I go, how do I do that? And he just looks at me and goes, be undeniable. I go, what's that mean? He goes, be undeniable. Write that down. Be undeniable. I was like, how the do I know what? How do you. And like, I was like, what? So I wrote be undeniable on my joke book. And then one night I went on stage and I watched comics jockey to get away from like, they didn't want to follow me. And I went, oh, that's undeniable. And these were really good comics.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And they didn't want to follow me. And then all of a sudden I got two kids at home and I'm going on at 12:15 and I'm watching These guys without kids try to get in and out. Oh, I got a spot over the Laugh Factory. Can I get. And then they never left. They just wanted to watch me. And I was like, oh, that's undeniable.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You told a joke that Kevin Hart got a little lucky. He said, Chappelle went to Africa and Kat went to jail.

[Bert Kreischer]

Here's the deal. I believe in luck more than I do hard work. Yeah. There was a period when Kevin, who I love. I love Kevin. We kept bragging about him being the hardest work working comic in the world. And very casually, I was like, well, just. I get that. I get that. It was when everyone was like, I wake up at two in the morning and I get in the gym by 2:30. And I was like, I want to hear about your luck. Because the luck, it's just as important and it kind of makes you a little more relatable sometimes.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Correct.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I know Kevin is talented. Trust me. And I know it from an intimate level. I've seen him work. And I've gotta tell you, to be able to share a movie like Jumanji with your kids and laugh hysterically, you know how talented that guy is. But I do want to hear about the luck is. The luck is. And this is folklore. Cat was supposed to do Fool's Gold and he packed a gun in his suitcase and he couldn't do it. And they're like, look, we got a size 22 waist and a medium shirt waiting for someone. Do we have anyone small and black that can fit this role? That's what I heard. So I want to hear that story. Kevin, tell me that story, because that makes you relatable to me. Then I go, oh, I want to hear the story. So I've always led with those stories of like. Of, like, the luck. And sometimes, you know, comics, big breaks are with luck, like. And I don't want to. I don't want to whittle this down to. That's all they are. But that's the truth, is sometimes you need that thing. I'll break it down. Okay. Bill Burr. I love Bill Burr. Yes. Love Bill Burr. Bill Burr had a viral video of him getting heckled in Philly that went crazy big on the Internet. Now it's luck. He went up. They started. You ever seen this? Mm. Mm. It's Dare I say, And Bill would disagree. Better than the Bernie Mac Def Jam. Wow. Bill Burr goes on stage at the Spectrum in Philly or whatever, and they had already heckled the guy in front of him. Wasn't a Great crowd. They started heckling him. There's a list of comics going on. Bill's supposed to do 12 minutes, and he starts doing a joke and it doesn't work. And they start booing him. And he goes, eh, you know what, you Philly, your city sucks. And he starts making fun of them. And then he looks at the clock, he goes, no, no, no, no, no. You're not getting me out of here. I got 10 minutes left. I'm gonna spend 10 minutes destroying you people. You guys vote for, you guys support Rocky. Joe Lewis is from here. That's how racist. You piece of shit. And he keeps looking at the clock and he goes, eight minutes left. Eight minutes of me. And it's brilliant. It is masterful. It is inspired of the moment. And it is shot on the shittiest camera in the world. But that story goes viral, and I'm telling you, boom. Jim Jeffries, he's standing up. He's doing a stand up at the Comedy Store in London. Guy jumps on stage, punches him in the head. Jim Jeffries had a manager, Brett Vincent, who was very familiar with the Internet, and he grabbed that video from the security cam, posted it on MySpace. Jim Jeffries goes viral for that one moment. Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan confronts Carlos Mencia on stage. Brian Redband shoots it, posts it. Now, Joe Rogan Rogan's moment goes viral, but he gets in a lot of trouble, right? He gets kicked out of the Comedy Store. His agent drops him. He has to refocus on himself. He starts his podcast. Now. Look at Joe. Today, every comic has that one lucky moment, that one crazy moment that happens to them, and that makes you relatable. If you just tell me you're the hardest working guy in the world, I go, okay.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Cause there are a lot of people who work hard that don't make it.

[Bert Kreischer]

There's guys watching this right now that are driving to go dig a ditch and they're like, yeah, I work hard at this ditch, but where's my luck? I believe in luck more than I do hard work. Wow.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You lost it all. Lost everything built back up.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Did you, did you, did you, did you believe you could build it back up? You're like, damn, how did I lose it? What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? And if I ever get back in this situation again, I promise you it won't happen again.

[Bert Kreischer]

I wish I was that insightful. No, I just was like. I was like that.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Were you married when you lost everything? You met?

[Bert Kreischer]

So I. I've never Been good with money. I made. I made a ton of money when I was very young, 26 to 20 to 30 years old. I made a ton of money.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I remember one time, my business manager was like, are you sick? I was like, what? And he's like, you're spending money like you have cancer. And so I. I was just. I was like. Took my wife to Europe by dating at the time. Took her to Europe, you know, fine. First class. I don't know. $1,300 versus $13,000. Right? And then we get pregnant with Georgia. We're married. I'm like. I say casually, I'm gonna take a couple months off to be here for the birth.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Huh?

[Bert Kreischer]

I was like, I'll take June and July off. So I'm here for the birth, and my business manager calls me, and he's like, yo, you owe $60,000 in taxes. I was like, cool. He's like, well, you only have $20,000 in your account. And I was like, well, where's the rest of the money? He's like, you spent it. I was like, well, what do I do? And he was like, I don't know. And I was like, what the. I called my dad. My dad laughed. I've never heard my dad laugh so hard. I thought he was having a stroke. And he was like, this is what it's like to be a man. He was like, good luck. He goes, figure it out, buddy. And I think those are the moments that define you as an artist also, and define you as a man is when you go, all right, time to buckle down. And I'm just gonna do the road, and I'll figure it out. I also am someone that I don't think about money, and I don't. I always figure it's gonna show up.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

I remember one time my wife was like. We were broke, and we had two kids, and she got really upset and started crying. And she goes, I think I'm bad luck. And I went, what? She goes, you have had all this success, and then you meet me and all the success goes away. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, stop. I go, I have so much good luck that my good luck will overwhelm you, and you're going to be lucky soon. Don't worry. We're going to get through this. And I really, honestly, I just always believe money will show up. My wife grew up poor and just doesn't. Not when you have that mentality of, like, always not having and always not having. You're afraid money's not going to show up. And I'm not saying I grew up rich. I didn't. But I definitely didn't grow up poor.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Great.

[Bert Kreischer]

I didn't. I mean, I know you were raised by your grandmother. I had a great relationship with my grandmother, But I didn't. Like, I grew up with what you'd say is privilege. Right? I just never thought about money, and I just never think about money. And I go, it'll show up. It'll show up. And if it goes away again, it'll show up again.

[Shannon Sharpe]

But your wife told you she was $25,000 in debt. Oh, and that didn't deter you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, my God. I didn't know when you got married, you accrued their debt. I remember. This is Joe, Take it all over. I was like, I'm paying for a cruise. You went on to sleep with some dude. I didn't know that. Dude, I'm paying for that. Oh, dude. That's the only joke I ever wrote that she hated. And I'll tell you now, but she.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Hated that you told us. You told it. It was a joke, huh?

[Bert Kreischer]

I said, when we got married, I said, we should have anal sex. And she went, why? I said, what do you mean, why? She goes, why would you want to do that? And I was like, I don't know. I don't. Just maybe to do it. I don't know. Why did we want to beat the Russians to the moon? To be there first. I don't know why. And then I found out we accrued their debt, and I was like, we should have anal sex. She goes, why? I go for 25 fucking thousand dollars. That's why. She was like, I don't like that joke. Don't. Prenup.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Did you get a prenup?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, I didn't have any money.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You didn't have any money?

[Bert Kreischer]

When I got married. When I got married, we had such little money, right? That she paid for the wedding and her family and I think the wedding was like $1,500. We had it at the church her grandfather owned right. In Bowden, Georgia. They put up a tent. It was freezing. It was in December. Who gets married in December? Two people that are pregnant. Two people that want to fit. One woman that wants to fit in a dress, and another guy's got a baby coming in June. My daughter was like, wait. One day she's like, wait, you guys got married in December? I was born in June. And we're like, finally, you figured the math out. Best accident that ever happened.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Because you know Portnoy. Dave Portnoy told a story. He's like, look, my wife, my ex wife still have access to my account. I've heard that he said, look, because when we were struggling and didn't have anything, I was sleeping on her parents couch and she was helping this. And so you mean to tell me now that I'm prosperous and I'm pro. You know, I'm doing all this, he don't get the benefit, any of it. I was like, damn, Dave. That's. That's. I don't know how many men, they're like, you out there.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, if I. If my wife. I mean, my wife and I will never get divorced. I can't imagine that that would ever happen.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Keep telling jokes. It might happen.

[Bert Kreischer]

It will, buddy. I did an interview with Bunny xl. You know, Bunny, Jelly's wife, Jelly Roll. Mm. I did an interview with Bunny. And Bunny and Leanne are close. They're really close. Like, they talk a lot.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I guess I just thought because they talk a lot, I could overshare.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I just. I don't know. Sometimes you do a podcast, you forget people are gonna hear this. Like, Kevin Hart's gonna hit me up and be like, hey, what the. He's like, katt. William's gonna hit me up and be like, hey, wasn't a guy. That was a bad cat impression. But. And I overshared an Us Weekly. Did you see this yesterday? Us Weekly covered the whole thing. They're like, bert Kreischer says he's got nude pictures of his wife that he keeps in a hidden folder. And I was like. I said that. Like, I couldn't. I mean, I've overshared with my wife a lot.

[Shannon Sharpe]

This is what I want to know. I'm gonna get you out of here on this. The roast.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Shannon Sharpe]

When I was a kid and you were a kid, roast were a big thing. Dean Martin, I mean, they had the who's who, and they said some things like, ooh, ooh. And they kind of. We kind of became a little bit more conscious and a little bit like, yeah, we probably shouldn't talk like that. But this Tom Brady roast, this was the Dean Martin. This was the Bob Hope. This was all the way back. Y' all let it all hang out. So when Netflix hits you up, there's like, we wanna do this roast of Tom Brady. You take it from there.

[Bert Kreischer]

I got the call first, and I said. I said, I'll do it. I'm not good at roasts. I'm a story guy.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

And so I'm not good at, like, a good roast person is either a good misdirect comic. Yeah. You know, like, Wendy Lieben was amazing, but, like, she wasn't a good roast but good misdirect comic. Or like, Kevin's roasting was so good.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

Because it's Kevin's voice, but it's not typical roasting. He just was like. He really put his voice into it. And I said, I'll do it, but I would love to do it with Tom and I'd love to do something different. And so they reached out to Tom. Tom was like, no, we're not doing this. I go, dude, it'll be great. I think it's gonna be big. It's Tom Brady. We get to meet Tom Brady. Yeah. And he goes, yeah, but let's. And the big thing, Netflix was like, we don't want you to just be one of the roasters. Cause by the time you go up, all the jokes have been told. We want you to do something different. We want you to do like a Sports center esque thing. And we were like, okay, we'll do that. So we did that. And I remember right before we started, I think Nikki had already gone on and murdered.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Oh, my God.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, Nikki.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Nikki Glaser. Look, everybody was good. Hinchcliffe, everybody, Ross. Everybody was amazing. Nikki brought the house down.

[Bert Kreischer]

You have no idea. You have no idea.

[Shannon Sharpe]

She brought the house down.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Shannon Sharpe]

But I want to interview her. I want to sit down with her. I put her on Club J. Shay.

[Bert Kreischer]

She is so. I've known Nikki forever. She's like. I mean, I'd say a little sister to me. She's like an aunt to my girls. My wife and I are close with her. She's like a little sister. All us comics. And when she had. When we saw the moment happening with the. Me, no, Gronk, no, not real money. Me and Tommy looked at each other and were like, we're watching someone's life change. And we were watching that moment happen. And I think it was Schultz and Tommy. And we were just like. It was like we had a moment as comics to know this is gonna be.

[Shannon Sharpe]

She's never gonna be the same.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's never gonna be the same. It'd never be the same. Listen, like I said, everyone did great. Everyone did great. Except for Kim Kardashian. Everyone did great. Kim Kardashian had a rough set. And I'll tell you what.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Come on, man. I'm trying to get Kim on here, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

Ben Affleck Okay, Kim, hold on. I won't shit on Kim. Kim took it on the chin and stood there and said, you will not break me. Yeah.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Cause they booed everybody.

[Bert Kreischer]

She sat there like William Wallace and goes, you can take my life, but you can't take my freedom. I mean, they gutted her.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah, they did.

[Bert Kreischer]

But Tom and Tom and Ben Affleck had a tough one. He went off book and he got lost, and he didn't read his prompter. Everyone did great, but Nikki owned that night, and she's owned it. Everyone knew she was that great. Everyone's always known she was that great. You're just waiting for that moment, for the moment to rise. My favorite part about that whole. That whole evening. I have a couple favorite parts. I have three favorite parts. Right before Tom and I went on, Tom goes, what if we bomb? And I said, we're not gonna bomb. He goes, what if we bomb? We're behind the prompter, we're behind the screen. And I go, buddy, if we bomb, we bomb together, we go down together. I've never felt like I've been to war with a man, but that moment where Tom and I hugged and we kissed on the cheek, and then we went in and we had our moment. We did great. Second greatest moment I've been like. The night was so good.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes. It was amazing. It was amazing.

[Bert Kreischer]

I get a knock on my door. It's me and Tom are sharing a dressing room. I get a knock on the door, and we're like. And usually that doesn't happen. And the door opens and he goes, hey, man, can I smoke in here? And it's Chappelle. Chappelle's like, I don't know any of these. Can I hang out with you guys? Of course. Chappelle's our goat. He's our goat.

[Shannon Sharpe]

He did.

[Bert Kreischer]

And he just sat, smoked, drank. I don't think he ever went and saw the show. I think he just hung out in our green room the whole time. After that, we all get done the show. I see Leanne, my wife, we're walking down the hallway, we're going to the post party. I mean, the craziest moments of, like, people talking about the numbers of how many people watched it. I mean, people walking by going, dude, there's like 100 million people. The live stream shut down twice. I mean, this is the biggest live stream we've ever. You're all hearing all these moments. Tom Brady is making fun of Gronk, who's making fun of Edelman, who's Making Randy Moss. And it's like all these things are happening in this one moment. And we step into the room and it's Nikki Glaser and her parents. And Nikki Glaser's sitting with her shoes off, so confused, trying to process what happened for her. She was. And you know, as a comic, you're always. Insecurity goes, was it good? And I went.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Nikki, your life is.

[Bert Kreischer]

Never gonna be the same. Your life's never gonna be the same. She was like, I did good, right? She's not. I was like, nikki. I was like, oh, this is crazy. And then I got a good joke out of the night. I got a good joke out of the night is Gronk came up to me. It's in my last special, Nikki Gronk came up to me and he goes. He goes, I wanna meet two people. Dave Chappelle and my wife and your wife. And I went, what? He goes, I only want to meet two people here. Your wife and Dave Chappelle. I go, well, one of them's gonna let you down. So I introduced him to Chappelle and he's like, do you think he knows who I am? I go, gronk, everyone knows who you are. Chappelle lights him up. Chappelle's the best. He's like. He's like Gronk, you know, hugs him and I bring him over to my wife.

[Disney Cruise Line Promoter]

Okay, ladies, when I said we came to play, didn't I mean it? This Disney cruise got me feeling like a. We can get massages at Sense's spa, have a meet and greet with Black Panther. Ooh, I love him. And I can't wait to sunbathe on the private island. And the kids will be fine. Girl, they're good. Exactly. While they hang in the kids club with Mickey Mouse, we can do our thing and do it well all day. Disney Cruise line is where we came to play.

[T-Mobile Announcer]

Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math@t mobile.com switch and now T mobile is in US cellular stores.

[Verizon Plan Announcer]

Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans plus the cost of optional benefits. Plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required.

[Paramount Plus UFC Announcer]

Paramount plus is the new home of UFC and the new era comes out swinging with UFC 324 on January 24th. In the main Event highlight machine. Justin Gaethje faces off against Paddy the Baddie Pimblet for the interim lightweight belt. Plus Sean Suga o' Malley takes on Song Yudong in a stand up war filled with high level striking. Catch all the action from the Octagon and stream UFC 324 live at 9pm Eastern on Paramount Pay per View. Just got knocked out. Stream every numbered event and Fight Night Live at no additional cost or with your Paramount subscription. You can also watch pre fight docuseries, full length replays, archive fights from years past and more. It's time to say goodbye to pay per View and hello to Paramount. Visit paramountplus.com UFC to get started.

[Bert Kreischer]

I didn't have this joke until this moment. And he meets Leanne Gronk's 6, 7 and Leanne's, you know, 5, 4, 5, 5, 55 years old. And they're talking and he looks at me and he goes, you make fun of her for being old. She looks beautiful. Bert and I went, gronk, you're six, seven. When she looks up, all her skin tightens. And I put that joke in my special shout out to Gronk. I go, everyone looks beautiful to you. Talk to Roseanne Barr. Shout out to Roseanne.

[Shannon Sharpe]

When you do a roast. Was there anything off limits there? Anything that you couldn't talk about the.

[Bert Kreischer]

Kid kissing his kid and you couldn't talk about Robert Kraft? I don't know, but that's not me. And Tom spat me and Tom Spott.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Because y' all were killing the man. Did anybody know, Obviously she's been remarried, she's had a child. Did anybody know the extent of which the relationship was with the trainer at the time?

[Bert Kreischer]

No. By the way, I did zero research. I went in going, we got our bit. It's just making fun of his pregnancy picture. But like I think some people did. But I don't give a shit. I don't want to hurt. My thing about standup is I don't want to deal with the bullshit. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. And I know that sounds like a weak perspective, but like if you're paying to come to my show, I don't want to your night up.

[Shannon Sharpe]

But in a roast it's different.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's a roast, it's bad. I did a roast for Jelly Roll and whole Cole Hauser. Cole Hauser and Kid Rock are there, right? And so I'm not good at roast, but I'm good at, I'm a good comedian. So if you're gonna with me. I'm gonna with you back, right? So Cole Hauser and Kid Rock. My wife's a huge Cole Hauser fan. So I bring him up, and I go, baby, this is Cole Hauser. He's Rip and Yellowstone. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Cole Hauser's like, hey, you know, he's old school Hollywood. His parents are the Warner brothers. His grandfather was one of the Warner brothers. He's like a legend, right? And he goes, you gonna come after me tonight? And I had no jokes about him. And I was like, yeah, no, no. And he was like, and Kid Rock's about, what about me? You gonna come after me? I had no Kid Rock jokes. I like these guys. I was like, I had some jelly roll jokes, whatever. And so then I write a Cole Hauser joke. Cause he said it.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

He'd come after me.

[Shannon Sharpe]

So I was like, I might as well. You want it? Okay, I'll give you.

[Bert Kreischer]

So I was like, all right. So I go up on stage. I was like, hey, Cole Hauser's here, if you guys don't know that. He's old school Hollywood. And they're like, oh, we're in Nashville. I go, old school Hollywood means he's Jewish. And Kohlhauser's like, my grandfather created sound. And I was like, the. Are we talking about here? I go, what? And he goes, my grandfather created sound. I go, created sound. Like we can hear. Because your grandfather. He's like, no, but his grandfather did create sound in movies. But he's drunk, and he's trying to tell me. And then Kid Rock goes in and goes, I'll your mom. And I was like. I go, yo, Kid Rock. My mom's. I go, no, I think I called him Bob. I go, yo, Bob. My mom's 77 with skin tags. I got money, too. I'll pay you to my mom. And we'll have his grandfather do sound on it. And they came backstage to fight me. I was like, what the happening? I was like, I thought you said I could make fun of you. I didn't even expect this. I am a fan of yours. They got in my face. He's like, yeah, not so funny now. And I was like, what the happening? I was so freaked out. And then Kid Rock looked at Leanne and goes, you know, I'm not gonna you. And I was like, what is happening? Roast suck.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You said something big.

[Bert Kreischer]

Hold on.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Is your wife from the same hometown as country Wayne?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, can't be country. I know. I did an Interview with Country Wayne.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Where'S your wife from?

[Bert Kreischer]

Where's she from? Carrollton or Bowden?

[Shannon Sharpe]

No, he's from Waynesboro.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, she's from Bowden. Small town, 1200 people just on the border of Alabama.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, real small town. Like, on our wedding certificate. I swear to God. Carrollton, Georgia. First question, name? Second question, occupation? Third question. Are you blood relatives?

[Shannon Sharpe]

Damn.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I said, what do I put for number three? And the lady goes, well, is ya? I go, I don't think we is. She goes, well, then put down that you ain't. I go, I'm definitely not writing ain't, because I think that means we is. That's a true. I wrote that joke in the moment.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Is there a joke that you won't tell on stage? Cause you said you just told. I mean, we were talking about it. You was like, I don't go deliberately try to tell jokes that's gonna offend or upset someone. So is there a joke that you won't tell? Because, you know, when Pryor was coming up and when those guys, Louis CK and all those guys, Carla, they. They told jokes, and it was jokes. Now you gotta be real conscious. You can't make, you know, someone has a disability or, you know, you can't. There are certain jokes that you can't tell.

[Bert Kreischer]

Now. I have one. No, I mean, I think, you know, there's jokes I haven't figured out. Okay, I'll say that. I try. I know, I know. Language has gotten pretty loose again.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I don't mind that, but I kind of enjoyed when we had to figure it out. Like, I liked the struggle. It's like, listen, if you have a disabled child, it's not my place to bring that up again. If you're at my show and look, I've said retard, and I've said all the horrible words you're supposed to say. The fun thing for me is trying to figure out a way around it and try to figure out how to get you to laugh. How to get you to laugh when you. When you didn't want to maybe. I don't know if there's a joke. I had a joke where the punchline was the N word. And it's so good. It's so good. I can't tell it. I had a buddy. I had a buddy. I won't say his name. I'm not. No shade. But like, I told him the joke, but didn't. As a comic, he could hear it. I didn't say the N word to Him. But I knew he knew what it was, right? He goes, hey, just say. Just say instead of the N word, I'll use the word pancakes. And I was like, what? And he goes, everyone loves pancakes. So just know, guys, in this joke, when you hear the word pancakes, it's supposed to be that. And I did it, and it worked so good. And my cousin Andrew came up to me after that and was like, if you ever do that again, I'll stop working for you and I'll never talk to you again. And I was like, what? He goes, you just gave everyone a way to say the N word. They can just say pancakes now. And I was like, what the. And this dude who'd seen it came up, and he's like, buddy, I was sitting next to a couple pancakes, and they were laughing hysterically. And I was like, oh, me. So, like. So, like, stuff like that. It's all a learning curve in the process. But, I mean, I wish. The joke's so good and it's a true story. It happened. And it's a black guy saying, right? And if. I wish I could just. I wish I could find a way. It's such a great story, but just.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Did you see the interview I did with Katt? A lot of people got upset with me.

[Bert Kreischer]

Why?

[Shannon Sharpe]

Because they said I should have stopped Katt.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, no, no, no. That's not your job. That's not your job. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Hey, listen, if a woman wants to put a finger in your ass, you let it happen, okay? You don't stop her and question her how she was raised. No, listen, when. Shit. When people want to party, you party. Cat Williams is a goddamn legend. One of the best days of my life was when Katt Williams knew who I was, Right? I was one of. I was. I love Cat Williams. I love Cat Williams. That interview was masterful. And all you were doing was just. You were just feeding them rope, just saying, like. Just like, hey, keep lighting it on fire. I got fuses all over. If you. And if. And by the way, it was. It broke the Internet. I mean, listen, there's in this Internet. We got Kim Kardashian's tape, right? I shouldn't have said that, because I know we're trying to get her on the show.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah, we're trying to get on, but.

[Bert Kreischer]

That broke the Internet.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah. Adult film.

[Bert Kreischer]

Adult film. Shout out to Ray J. No one mentions him, right? And so.

[Shannon Sharpe]

But I've had him on the show.

[Bert Kreischer]

For real. I did. I heard Ray J's a gangster. Like, the man.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah, he is.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's someone I like to meet. But, like, that interview broke the Internet, and that was like. I mean, it's got. What did it feel like for you? I'm curious.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Cause I know in real time you have. I have no. I had no idea it was doing that. The people that were sitting just kind of like, the people here are sitting. My producer, cj, he comes to me, and we wrapped the interview. Now, I had still had, like, 20 minutes of questions, but I realized that we. I was like. I'm saying, in real time. I think I said, we've gone two and a half hours, so let's wrap it.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You could have done three and a half days.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Oh, we could have, because I had 20 more minutes of questions. And then he stood around and he asked. I said, we done? I was like, yeah. I said, we're good. And then he stands around another hour, just him and his boys, you know, smoking. But C.J. looks at me, and he's shaking his head. So I'm thinking. I said something wrong. A cat said something wrong. So I put my hand over on mic.

[Bert Kreischer]

I was like, what's up?

[Shannon Sharpe]

So I was like, you know, let me take my mic off. I said, what happened? I mean, did I say something? Did he say something? He's like, this is gonna break the Internet. I said, you think so?

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, are you being serious?

[Shannon Sharpe]

At the time, Steve Harvey, you sound.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like Nikki Glaser going, did I do good tonight? No. No.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Because I'm like. I was like, at the time, Steve Harvey had the most views on Club Shay shay. He had 8 million views. I said, you think it'll do Steve Harvey numbers? He's like, it's gonna. He said, it's gonna blow it out of the water. I said. I said, you think it's gonna do 10 million views, CJ? He said, it's gonna do more than 10 million. I say, CJ, so 15. I said, we good? I say, if you say more than 10, I say, we do 15. We good. He's like, no, Shannon. He said, this is gonna break the Internet. He said, they're gonna be talking about this for years.

[Bert Kreischer]

Well, it's interesting. So. And I say this as, like, you are a legend at what you do, but what you do in this space, we were doing, you know, 15, 17 years ago, and 15, 17 years ago, there was not the looks that we get. And what that Katt Williams interview was, in my opinion, is what Old School Rogan was. When we do Rogan. We didn't know people were listening.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

And we would talk shit. And we would ruin relationships. And we would. We would. I mean, we would destroy friendships. Yeah. And we would. We would. And it was. And that is what that was. That was two guys talking as if you didn't know anyone was listening.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

And it was so beautiful. And Cat's just, you know. Cat. No, but he's so good at, like, tickling you. It's like he goes, you know, I read 15 books a day. And then you do the math. I did the math on that.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

You break it down. I did the math. It's impossible. Yeah. Like, no, no. And I love Cat. You know? Then I did the math on me. Do you know it takes me 32 days to read one book?

[Shannon Sharpe]

Right?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, but reading 24 hours a day. It takes me 32 days to read a 600 page book with this small writing. I did the math on Cat, but that. It's like Terrence Howard when he goes, one and one equals four, and you're like, what the. Like, what was that? What was it? What did Terrence Howard say? Yeah, but that is. That is. It's a little bit of a troll. Yes. But it's so masterful. And Cat man, I would love to see the different roles he could have played in life, because he could be a preacher, he could be a therapist.

[Shannon Sharpe]

He could be anything.

[Bert Kreischer]

He could be anything.

[Shannon Sharpe]

He had crazy.

[Bert Kreischer]

He came up to me. I gotta tell you this, because this is like one of my biggest flexes in life. We're at a party, Cat's wearing a baklava. What's it called? The. You know, the. So, you know, your optionals. To you?

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah. Yes. Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't really understand. I'm not saying that word. Not with what's happening on the Gaza Strip. And that watch guy trying to get his watch back. I don't know. It's like the thing that young black kids wear.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah. That's Shiesty.

[Bert Kreischer]

Shiesty. Yeah. Balacalba, Balaclava. Where the did you grow up? Africa. Okay. Oh, Africa. So thank you. Badoo.

[Shannon Sharpe]

So just as this is out, but.

[Bert Kreischer]

It'S a bedazzled one, and it's white, and it matches his white jumpsuit. Wow. Now everyone's going, I heard Katt Williams is at this party. And I'm going, I think it's Evel Knievel over there with the face mask. And now I used to party with Mike Epps a little bit, but I didn't know if he still knew me. All these guys blew up, but I was still broke.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You still struggling.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then Mike Epps comes up and sees me. He's like, bertie, Burt. And I was like, oh, shit. I was like, mike, you remember me? He's like, of course, man. It's great to see you. Gives me a big hug, and I see Cat. And Cat walks up to me and goes, you a goddamn rock star, Bert Kreischer. I've been trying to take my shirt off for years. They won't even let me wear a vest. And I. My wife, you know when, like at a slam dunk contest, my wife got up and walked a circle like, Bert, I'm gonna hear about this forever. Cat Will knows who Burt is. Yeah, Cat Williams is a lad. I love that guy.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You've been in this thing and you're great at it. 35,000 seat arenas, stadiums and arenas. Is there anybody you know? You hear a lot of guys like, I don't want to follow that guy. I don't want to follow that guy. I mean, people used to say all the time, man, you ain't trying to follow Bernie Mac. That ain't what you're trying to do. Obviously, you're never going to be able to follow Chappelle because Chappelle's going to end the show. So you're not following him. You're not following Rock.

[Bert Kreischer]

No.

[Shannon Sharpe]

So is there people like, I sure hope I'm in front of him.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, there's. I'm gonna tell you, I don't mean this cocky. I'm just being very real.

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[Bert Kreischer]

I have a magic trick apart with mine, okay? When I take my shirt off, it's a little bit of a. It's a reset, right? So once I take my shirt off, everyone forgets about what happened before me and it's mine now, right? And I will say that there's not one person alive that I would follow all of them, but there's one person dead who I would to this day and never in my life ever want to follow, and that's Ralphie May. Ralphie, yeah, Ralphie May.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Ralphie May.

[Bert Kreischer]

Ralphie was unfollowable. I mean, and I'm saying as good as I ever was. And no slight on everyone, obviously, you know, everyone's really talented. Ralphie May, no one could follow him. If he didn't want you to follow him, you would not follow him. I'd watch him. I remember he did a bit. I was like, we were doing a show together and he's like, bert Kreischer, you want to go up first or second? I was like, I'll go blast. He goes, I don't know if you want that. Bert Kreischer. I got to put a hurt on you. I was like, ralphie, I'm doing theaters now. And he's like, all right, all right, okay. And he does pretty good set. And then he looks at me and goes, all right, I'm about to bring your next comic up, but real quick, I want to talk about big ladies. You don't want no big. You want a medium. You don't want no making your look like a horse reaching for a sugar cube. And I watched him. And the beauty of Ralphie May is that he would take one premise and just blank it out. He would take one premise you don't want. No big making. You can't ride a bike you don't want. He would take the same premise and give you 20 punchlines.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And no one does that. No one does that the way Ralphie did that. It was a little bit of old school. And God damn it, you could not reset a room after Ralphie May. I remember one time he went off stage and I was supposed to follow him, and he goes. He gets off stage, he goes, how they gonna want me back? I'm going back. And he walked back on stage and they. And the second he went. They went crazy. Ralphie May. You know, the thing that kills me about death is people forget about you. And, you know, no one wants to be forgotten about. People want to live. You die twice, you die when you die, and you die when the last person that remembers you dies. And Ralphie May, it's a travesty that people don't talk enough about how brilliant of a comic he was.

[Shannon Sharpe]

He was unbelievable, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

They got Fat Bastard out there. You don't think that's offensive to me? What about Black Bastard? I'm talking so black, he throws salt in his face. It looks like deep space. What about Mexican Ass Bastard? But there's little baby gold teeth. How you gonna be a gold man with baby gold teeth? Ralphie May was so destructive on stage that I never, to this day, I think about having to follow him. And it just was impossible.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Anything you want to promote, anything you want to talk about?

[Bert Kreischer]

I hope you guys like Free Burt. I mean, that's the truth is like, it's, you know, you make a product. It's like training camp, right? Yes. I keep saying this going back to, you know, I'm such a fan of yours. Yeah, I'm such a fan of yours. I love John Elway. Yeah, that interview was great. And you in that documentary was. I mean, I watched the Elway thing. You gotta. You don't understand. You don't understand. You don't understand. You define a moment in my life. This is what sports does and things art does for people. But those Sundays in Florida at like, probably what, 6pm, 5pm where it starts getting a little colder out at night, and you guys were out on the field and it was two minutes. And how many times did you have those moments where it was always two minutes and you go on the five yard line and you guys would drive and then, you know, when, you know, Goose was a good friend of mine.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Okay. Oh, great. Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

Goose was the best. And when you guys did hard knocks together, like there's. But when I say about training camp is making a TV show is a lot like training camp is like. You go and you hope you did the work you did your best you could, but, you know, at times you're a little tired. You hope it all pays off. And with a TV show, you make a TV show and you hope everyone likes it. And that's it. That's it. If you don't, I get it. And if you do, I'm happy. It's not like a special. Like a special. Like every special I do, I go, I have the same feeling I have right now. I did Lucky and I was like, God, I hope people like it. And then I go, well, I just toured it around the world.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Right?

[Bert Kreischer]

Everyone loves it, right? It's gonna do great. And then it was top 10. Top 10 for like three weeks. And I went, of course. Right. Everyone loved it in the room.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Do you still get nervous to go on stage?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, not at all.

[Shannon Sharpe]

You don't. You don't get the butterflies? Because I still got butterflies every time I go out there. I know we practice, I know what I'm normally supposed to do, but I get queasy.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, not at all. I love it. It's the safest I feel. I don't like flying, so on Sundays, my stomach would be a mess all day. All day it would be a mess because I knew I had a 6am flight the next day because I had kids. I had to get home the second I heard. Ladies and gentlemen, Bert Kreischer, I would. My stomach would disappear and I was so present and I had zero anxiety and I fought cleaner and faster than I ever did. Even doing something like this. Like, I get excited for this.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

There's no nerves about it. I'm such a fan. I'm a fan on so many levels of yours. I'm a fan of. Like I quoted you the other day, I don't buy an expensive watch to tell what time it is. I don't buy an expensive watch to tell you how expensive my time is. I said that to my kids. I told him I came up with it.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Well, now you my plug to get Tony Hinchcliffe and Nikki Glazier on the show.

[Bert Kreischer]

You want Tony on. That's easy. That's light work. You want Nikki on.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

Well, FaceTime her right now. Give me my phone. Nikki is. Nikki is the best, by the way. I always answer FaceTime.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah, you seem to. That's not what you're supposed to do. FaceTime's supposed to be special.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, FaceTime is. Yo, are we friends?

[Shannon Sharpe]

You know, they're the only. You know what? The only time people I FaceTime. I've never FaceTimed my sister. I've never FaceTimed MY brother. I've never FaceTimed My mom, only the kids.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, for real?

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yep.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I. I don't have my readers on Nikki Glaser. FaceTime. By the way, Nikki doesn't seem like a face. Oh, that's what my hair looked like the whole time. I hope this is her number and not her email. Oh, yeah, this is her. Hold on. FaceTime and Nikki Glaser. Or was this center of. If the FaceTime doesn't work, you send him a video message. A video message. Audio message always works. I look good like this. I bet this is what I look like. If you suck my. Oh, I don't want Nikki to go. All right. She didn't answer. She must be getting an operation. No, Nikki would be great for this. Nikki is.

[Shannon Sharpe]

She's awesome.

[Bert Kreischer]

She's an open book, and she's so quick, and she is just. I mean, and Tony, I mean, other than the fact that I don't think he's ever watched a football game, he's probably looking at the cheerleaders a little.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Bit, but got to get my cashier up with it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Wait, what comics have you had Tommy on?

[Shannon Sharpe]

No, I've had what.

[Bert Kreischer]

What white guys have you had on? And don't count Gary Owen. Okay.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Andrew Schultz.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's it.

[Shannon Sharpe]

That's it. Oh, we've had John Cena, Ric Flair. No, we've had comedian Elton John on. No, no, Elton John. O. We had. What. What's the. The cj. What's the Hispanic comedian we had on Ralph Barbossa. Barbosa. Yep, yep.

[Bert Kreischer]

Ralph Barboza. The hardest he's ever made my wife laugh. Yeah, the hardest I've ever seen my wife laugh. We were on tour. Ralph was on our bus.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

He ate mushrooms. And he started explaining episodes scene by scene of Family Guy to my wife from memory. And my wife didn't know what she thought. These were moments in his life. And she was laughing hysterically. And he was like. And then the black guy comes into the. And the Asian guy's like, you shop long time. And my wife's like, what the. And then she got on the bed, she goes, who is this guy? And I go, he's on mushrooms.

[Shannon Sharpe]

She goes, what?

[Bert Kreischer]

I thought she was telling me his life story. I Go. That's an episode of Family Guy. Ralph Barbosa's boy.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Brilliant. I love him. Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

So what's your night look like tonight? What's the rest of your day look like? You seem like a work 24 hour guy.

[Shannon Sharpe]

I am. Well, I'm gonna go back home. We gotta turn and burn today.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. We flying home?

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

You work out this morning?

[Shannon Sharpe]

No, no, no, because we got. I had to be at the airport at like 8 o', clock, so I got up and so I won't work out today, but I'll work out tomorrow. We off tomorrow. So easy. But then we gotta work Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. We fly Sunday, work Sunday night, work Sunday, work Monday.

[Bert Kreischer]

Does it give you calmness working with that?

[Shannon Sharpe]

It does.

[Bert Kreischer]

It doesn't. It. It does. You know, like Kevin used to talk about how hard he is working and I think it's the demons inside.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

As you go, it shuts down. The conversation is, if I have a day off, I'm sitting there going like, my wife was gone for two days and I was home by myself. That's when I got in those Oculus goggles. And all of a sudden I'm in like a seven some. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like, what am I doing? And then, and then, and then you go to a beach and you're like. And I sat there, I sat quiet for two days. She came home today and I was like touching her and talking to her and going, like, I need people. Yeah, work. I think workaholism is akin to like just shutting down the conversation. Yeah, I think that's why I.

[Shannon Sharpe]

But I think the thing is also, it's for kind of you, like when you. Well, I didn't grow up like you, obviously. I grew up in a little different situation is like not having and not having again. So the only way I can make sure I don't end up back in that situation.

[Bert Kreischer]

Let me ask you a question. Someone asked me the other day. I don't know how much money you have, but I know how much money you probably have and how much money you've had. So your first deal, you sign on the Broncos, what was your first signing deal?

[Shannon Sharpe]

I made 63,000, 73,000. I got 22,000 on signing bonus. I was a seventh round draft pick.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay. What was your first big deal at the Broncos? 90.

[Shannon Sharpe]

The end of 93, beginning of 94. I got 700,000 base. I got a $400,000 signing bonus.

[Bert Kreischer]

So what's the difference between that, that security and then what you have today. Like, is there a. Do you quantify that? Say a million dollars? Yes. Versus say, I don't know. I'm saying you probably have, like, $40 million, $60 million.

[Shannon Sharpe]

If you know what it is now, you know that it is not. Burke, is that. Back then, I valued things a lot more because I had to work a lot harder for it. Like a watch. I had to wait two, three, four years to get it. Now I can just go buy any watch I want so it doesn't have the same meaning.

[Bert Kreischer]

So wait, is a watch better then or now then? So then if it's better, then what are we doing?

[Shannon Sharpe]

For me, it's for the kids and the grandkids.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay, so is there a price point where you cover your nut? You take care of kids, you take care of everything. And then you just size down and you go, I want things to mean more. I want things. I want to feel. I want to appreciate a steak. You know, the guy asked me today, he said, what was the most money you ever made? Or something? I don't know. It was a business interview. And I told him, and he said, did it? Was it I got. Someone told me I made, like $30 million. I was in a hot tub in my house and like, hey, congratulations. You're like the second highest earning comic in the country. And I was like, cool. I was like, what? For real? Yeah. You made $30 million last year? I go, I did. And I didn't feel it, right? I didn't feel it. And it. And I tell you right now, I couldn't register it. Like, it didn't, like, didn't feel like a battery when you plug your phone in. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. And I was like, okay, so then what's the point? And by the way, the money's not real. It's just a number on a computer. I don't see it. It's not like Floyd Mayweather, who's got it in bags, and I bought two ribeye steaks yesterday because I like both of them. But he was like, I don't know which one I want to eat. Right one's gonna go bad.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And what's the point?

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah, but I don't know what I would do. Cause I worked so hard. The way I was raised is that we, like, we had to work because that was the only way for us to get anything. And now I feel so worthless. I feel useless. I feel so unimportant. If I don't work, I've got The.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay, okay. By the way, and I apologize. I'm doing this to you. No, but, like, is it. How important is relevancy to you versus money? Like, if people stop saying man, club Shay. Shay is incredible. If. How important is relevancy? Because that's an important thing with comedy, is when I started getting successful, I watch people that I was passing start hating me.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

And it bothered me.

[Shannon Sharpe]

It bothered me.

[Bert Kreischer]

It bothered me.

[Shannon Sharpe]

It bothers me because I don't know what I did. Because I understood when I played football that the opposing team, the Steelers or the Vikings or this team, the Kansas City or the Raiders, I understood their fans hating me. They got a reason to. But I didn't understand. And it took me a while. I'm just not coming to the realization that your success pissed some people off.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. And then all of a sudden you go, I was rooting for you the whole time. And then now you're not rooting for me. My takeaway from that is, like, I have a lot of guys, and I named a bunch of them in this, who I worked with, who at one point, I was the dog. And now they're the dogs. Like, Shane Gillis is the man.

[Shannon Sharpe]

He is the man.

[Bert Kreischer]

He is. What kind of a would I be if I couldn't enjoy his success if I had to look at it and sit on my couch and go, ugh, yeah, I liked him when he was poor.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

Why wouldn't I like him when he's rich? And that's the thing that kills me.

[Shannon Sharpe]

People doesn't enjoy. Because I don't look at it. Like, if someone's successful, I'm happy for their success. I'm not envious of their success. I'm like, okay, maybe I need to work harder. But I don't, like, oh, he don't deserve that, or he didn't earn that, or, why does he get that and I don't? I'm not.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's a loser's mentality. It is. When I saw. I saw Beautiful Dogs, Shane's special, I only Shane sees a friend of mine, but I saw Beautiful Dogs. And I'd never seen it in front of the stage because I was always backstage when he did it. So I never saw any of his facial, any of that. I watched it on tv. I was on the treadmill and I doubled over. I was like, this is brilliant. Now, do I look at that and go, dude, I gotta work harder? Of course. But do I look at that and go, oh, him? No. What kind of loser looks at that? And I Think that's the hardest part about getting successful is to watch the people that just start hating you because you succeeded. It sucks.

[Shannon Sharpe]

It sucks. It's really hard. People that you were cool with and all of a sudden they saying snide things and they're kind of like rooting and hoping for your downfall.

[Bert Kreischer]

But you have it intimate. I only had it one time. You have it intimately. As you come in, seventh round draft pick, you come in as a backup, and then you take that guy's job, and then you're sitting in the locker room and he's right across and you're naked in a shower and he's seeing you.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

What's that like?

[Shannon Sharpe]

But, you know, the thing is, is that the reason why I was able to do so well in the locker room because I started out as a guy that wasn't the guy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Hey, George. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You just explained my career. Yes. The reason I've done so well is because at 43 years old, I got fired from Travel Channel and I was in the hallway at the Comedy Store and I wasn't the guy. And people would talk to me and do this. And I don't know if you've ever had this happen to you. They'd talk to you and they'd go, this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm. Hey, give me one second. I'm gonna go talk to someone. And I'd walk and I'd turn around and Sebastian Maniscalco was behind me. And they were like, oh, he just left me to talk to Sebastian. And that's that survivor's remorse we're talking about is I was that guy. So then when I went back to those clubs and I was like, I'm not gonna do that to people. Cause that happened to me. Yes. When you're an underdog. And I've always thought the underdog is the better path to have the one that no one sees it coming. The Cinderella story come from out. That's the story I want to be. I don't want to be. The Tom Brady's a good story. Yes. In the late.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yeah. He's a sixth round draft pick, 192nd. Nobody gave him an opportunity and he came all the way up. I mean, I should be what a lot of people aspire. I grew up in 1,000 square foot Cinderbach home with no indoor plumbing, no running water, went to Savannah State, worked with two Winn Dixie Piggly Wiggly bags with all my belongings, and made it from an HBCU all the way to the hall of Fame. Okay, now I get on television. I don't have a media degree. I'm not classically trained in television. And to work my way up.

[Bert Kreischer]

Shannon, Shannon, no one in Media in 1995 would have ever hired you to speak on camera, right? That's the truth. Yes. Everything you do does not make sense. But for whatever reason, man, I love it. And that's the thing that perseverance is like, is the underdog has to believe in itself.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes. And I tried a lot. I went to a speech pathologist and.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, don't ever.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Once I saw Charles Barkley with a heavy Southern colloquial dialect.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes.

[Shannon Sharpe]

And he can be unapologetically Charles Barkley. I said, why am I trying to be like Ed Bradley? Because I had my producer at CBS send me everything interview Ed Bradley had ever done. I watched Greg Gumbel. I watched these affluent black men. And I felt that's how I was supposed to be. But that's not what they hired me to be.

[Bert Kreischer]

No.

[Shannon Sharpe]

And then once I embraced who I was.

[Bert Kreischer]

Dude, you're a legend. You're a legend. And listen, Barbara Walters.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

I have a speech impediment. I don't know if you can catch it, but it happens all the time. You see it. I tried to get rid of it. I can't get rid of it. It's the way I talk, dude. I think. I mean, I think it's endearing. I think you are a legend. And it has been an honor and a privilege to sit here and drink a bottle of Courvoisier with you.

[Shannon Sharpe]

Shay Belle Portier, we're gonna send you home with a bottle. Please do appreciate you, Bert Kreischer, ladies and gentlemen.

[Bert Kreischer]

All my life been grinding all my life Sacrifice, hustle, paid the price, wanna slice, got to roll a dice that's why all my life I be grinding all my life all my life been grinding all my life Sacrifice hustle paid the price, wanna slice, got to roll a dice that's why all my life I've been grinding all my life.

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