Coco Gauf’s historic win & the shade and Brittany Renner & Kevin Gates are over | Humble Baddies

Summary

Podcast Summary: Club Shay Shay – "Coco Gauf’s Historic Win & the Shade and Brittany Renner & Kevin Gates Are Over | Humble Baddies"

Release Date: June 10, 2025

Hosts: Sherrel Rosado and Alexis Stoudemire

In this engaging episode of "Humble Baddies," hosts Sherrel Rosado and Alexis Stoudemire delve into significant topics surrounding recent events in the sports and entertainment industries. The conversation is rich with insights, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions on societal issues affecting Black women athletes and public figures. Below is a detailed summary of the key points, discussions, and conclusions drawn during the episode.

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1. Celebrating Coco Gauff’s Historic French Open Victory

The episode kicks off with a heartfelt celebration of Coco Gauff’s groundbreaking win at the French Open. Sherrel Rosado and Alexis Stoudemire express immense pride in Gauff’s achievement and discuss the challenges she faces as a young Black female athlete.

• Acknowledging the Shade and Minimization of Her Victory:

  • Sherrel Rosado highlights the unwarranted criticism Gauff received post-victory, questioning, “Why do people struggle to give Black women full credit?” (11:08)
  • Alexis Stoudemire adds, “She handled it with grace. She stood her ground and let her performance speak for itself” (13:15).

• Impact of Historical Struggles on Present Success:

  • Alexis delves into the historical context, stating, “Black women have always had to mark their territory in every realm, and Coco is a continuation of that legacy” (15:58).

• Pressure and Expectations on Young Black Stars:

  • Discussing the immense pressure, Sherrel remarks, “We expect them to be perfect, but they’re still growing up in front of us” (16:19).
  • Alexis agrees, emphasizing the mental and emotional toll, “The discipline she shows is phenomenal, but the pressure is real” (15:58).

2. Societal Challenges Faced by Black Women Athletes

The hosts transition into a broader discussion on the societal challenges Black women face, especially in the realm of sports.

• Minimization of Achievements:

  • Sherrel questions, “Why is it so hard to give Black women full credit?” (16:19).
  • Alexis responds, “It’s rooted in history. We’ve always been underrepresented and disrespected” (17:19).

• Media Representation and Public Perception:

  • The conversation touches on how media portrayal affects public perception, with Sherrel stating, “We make everything look too easy, but there’s so much work behind the scenes” (19:09).
  • Alexis adds, “We have to set boundaries and not let the negativity affect our shine” (22:17).

• Resilience and Self-Worth:

  • Both hosts emphasize the importance of resilience, with Sherrel advising, “Don’t explain your excellence to those who misunderstand your shine” (23:09).
  • Alexis reinforces this by saying, “We are a force to be reckoned with. We know our worth” (17:19).

3. Brittany Renner & Kevin Gates’ Short-Lived Marriage

Shifting gears, Sherrel and Alexis discuss the recent whirlwind marriage and subsequent divorce of Brittany Renner and Kevin Gates, exploring the dynamics of public relationships and the pressures of fame.

• Public Reaction and Personal Insights:

  • Sherrel introduces the topic by reading about the quick marriage and divorce, prompting a discussion on the complexities of public relationships (28:42).
  • Alexis provides perspective, “Sometimes people are looking for clout, but it could also be true love” (33:26).

• Cultural and Religious Considerations:

  • They explore the cultural aspects, noting, “In Islam, you can have multiple wives, but it’s about caring for each household” (28:42).

• Impact of Social Media and Public Scrutiny:

  • Alexis comments on the role of social media, “Social media amplifies everything and adds pressure to move fast” (33:26).
  • Sherrel adds, “Pressure from being public figures can lead to rushing through relationships” (33:58).

• Advice for Maintaining Privacy in Relationships:

  • The hosts advocate for keeping personal relationships private to protect peace and sanctity, with Sherrel advising, “Real love doesn’t need an audience” (36:48).
  • Alexis concurs, “Protect your peace and remember, real love doesn’t need an audience” (37:05).

4. Listener Questions and Personal Wins

The episode includes a segment where Sherrel and Alexis address listener questions, sharing personal wins and experiences related to healing and growth.

• Personal Wins:

  • Alexis shares her achievements, stating, “Holding down a household, raising children, and maintaining a 4.15 GPA on President's List” (54:09).
  • Sherrel echoes the sentiment, highlighting her growth in setting boundaries, “Protecting my peace and setting boundaries is my biggest win” (55:45).

• Healing from Relationships:

  • Discussing healing, Alexis talks about overcoming divorce, “I never thought I could get over it, but five years later, I’m thriving” (61:34).
  • Sherrel adds, “Healing from betrayal was tough, but therapy and forgiveness helped me” (63:49).

• Advice for Healing and Moving On:

  • Sherrel advises listeners to let go without seeking closure, “Healing is a choice. Let go and move on” (64:37).
  • Alexis emphasizes the importance of self-love and not holding grudges, “Release the bitterness and focus on your growth” (44:48).

5. Encouragement and Empowerment

Throughout the episode, the hosts consistently encourage and empower their listeners, reinforcing the themes of self-worth, resilience, and the importance of protecting one's peace.

• Embracing Self-Worth:

  • Sherrel urges, “Don’t minimize what you’ve been through just because you make it look easy” (21:44).
  • Alexis reinforces, “We are powerful and deserving of recognition” (17:19).

• Setting Boundaries:

  • The importance of setting personal boundaries is a recurring theme, with Sherrel stating, “I’ve learned to say no and set boundaries” (56:13).

• Moving Forward with Grace:

  • Alexis concludes with a message of moving forward gracefully, “Everything happens for a reason. Keep pushing forward” (64:16).
  • Sherrel adds, “Let closure come naturally by letting go” (48:36).

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Notable Quotes:

• “Why do people struggle to give Black women full credit?” – Sherrel Rosado [16:19]
• “She handled it with grace. She stood her ground and let her performance speak for itself.” – Alexis Stoudemire [13:15]
• “We make everything look too easy, but there’s so much work behind the scenes.” – Sherrel Rosado [19:09]
• “Real love doesn’t need an audience.” – Sherrel Rosado [36:48]
• “Healing is a choice. Let go and move on.” – Sherrel Rosado [64:37]

Conclusion:

In this episode, Sherrel Rosado and Alexis Stoudemire provide a compelling discussion on the triumphs and challenges faced by Black women in the public eye. By celebrating Coco Gauff’s achievements and critically examining the dynamics of Brittany Renner and Kevin Gates' relationship, the hosts shed light on broader societal issues such as racial bias, media representation, and the pressures of maintaining personal relationships under public scrutiny. Additionally, through addressing listener questions, they offer valuable insights into personal growth and healing, encouraging their audience to embrace resilience, set boundaries, and prioritize self-worth.

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Timestamps:

• Coco Gauff’s Victory and Shade: [11:08] – [21:44]
• Societal Challenges: [16:19] – [22:17]
• Brittany Renner & Kevin Gates’ Marriage: [28:42] – [37:05]
• Listener Questions and Personal Wins: [54:09] – [65:26]
• Healing from Relationships: [61:34] – [70:21]
• Encouragement and Empowerment: Scattered throughout the episode

Note: Timestamps are approximate and correspond to the transcript provided.

Transcript

[Sherrel Rosado]

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[Greg Lodd]

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[Dan Flores]

Why is a soap opera western like Yellowstone so wildly successful? The American west with Dan Flores is the latest show from the Meat Eater Podcast Network. So join me starting Tuesday, May 6, where we'll delve into stories of the west and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today.

[Clayton English]

Listen to the American west with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Katherine Townsend]

I know a lot of cops. They get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun? Sometimes the answer is yes. But there's a company dedicated to a future where the answer will always be no. This is Absolute Season one, Taser Incorporated.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I get right back there and it's bad.

[Katherine Townsend]

Listen to Absolute Season 1, Taser Incorporated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Unknown]

I'm Clayton English.

[Clayton English]

I'm Greg Lodd.

[Unknown]

And this is season two of the War on Drugs podcast.

[Clayton English]

Last year, a lot of the problems of the drug war. This year, a lot of the biggest names in music and sports, this kind.

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[Clayton English]

We met them at their homes, we met them at their recording studios. Stories matter, and it brings a face to them.

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It makes it real.

[Clayton English]

It really does. It makes.

[Unknown]

Listen to new episodes of the War on Drugs Podcast, Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Hey.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Hi, Queen. How you doing, Ms. Charles?

[Sherrel Rosado]

I am amazing. You know, it's. It's one o' clock in the morning where I'm at, so I took me a little nap.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

You holding it down? Good, good.

[Sherrel Rosado]

I'm holding it down. Listen, it's a holiday over here.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah. What's the holiday?

[Sherrel Rosado]

It's a Muslim holiday. I don't know what holiday it is.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

But it's a Muslim.

[Sherrel Rosado]

It's been Going on all week.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

But it's. No, don't get me to start. I don't want to be disrespectful.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Yeah. But I celebrated. Yeah. Had me some drinks, took me a little nap, and I'm up and ready for nightcap. I mean, of course, that is not.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Anybody look humble.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Maddie's podcast. My ass over here talking about nightcap. It should be nightcap part two. The way we.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

We are capping, you know, the evenings and then. Right. Festivities.

[Sherrel Rosado]

How have you been, my love?

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Girl? Just really. This externship has been really interesting over the past weekend. I was challenged to make a dessert and something that I could leave once I'm done with my internship with this restaurant. Stem left. So shout out to them once I leave. Then it's something there that has my name and signature on there. And so I proposed a bread pudding with the blueberry compote and used ingredients that we have already on hand, and it came out phenomenal, and the owner loved it. And I sold my first one during brunch, so it was just, you know, it's just an exciting feat for me, and just a passion just ignited, and I'm so happy. And, girl, I've been holding down a 4.15 GPA on President's list, and I'm just on the last, you know, couple of weeks of this, and I'm done. I mean, I can't believe this journey is here. So I'm just proud.

[Sherrel Rosado]

It went by so fast.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

No, it's crazy because, you know, I was. I was actually in culinary school while we were filming, and so while we were filming the show and so, like. Yeah, so, like, to be juggling all these jobs and all these, you know, passions and really trying to show up, be a mother and also just like a friend, it just. It just shows my resilience and shows, like, my Just my energy behind that. We can accomplish anything that we set our mind to, and I just am grounded in just this energy and this faith of just really just accomplishment. So I'm happy, you know, I'm proud of myself. And here we are. I'm proud of you, too.

[Sherrel Rosado]

I cannot wait to come back home so you can cook me a full course meal. We have some girl talk, and I.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Just stuff my face coming to coslex. Make it.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Yeah.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

But, you know, I need you to get that passport step to hit that global entry and come back home. Okay. And that's what I need from my girl so I can give you some love. I don't want to come Back.

[Sherrel Rosado]

I don't want to come back.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

You know, no bullshit. While you playing, find me some land out there, because I see Kelisa out there buying a land. You know, I need. I need some garden space. Can I get some garden space that just looks at some ocean or maybe the mountain? I don't know. Something. Something help. Okay. I need to know what. I need to go to the land. Okay.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Lex, I love it here. It's like I just have been. I'm just a queen here. I don't even have to look at.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

It as you should.

[Sherrel Rosado]

I just press one button and everything.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Is taken care of, which you deserve. And I'm happy for you. And keep pushing that button because that's what we need. Okay?

[Sherrel Rosado]

Thank you, my love. Yes, I've been good. I have one more week here and then go to Paris for the concert, so I'm going to see Beyonce.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

How long on the flight is that?

[Sherrel Rosado]

From here? It's like six hours, but I leave.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Like that makes sense.

[Sherrel Rosado]

It's a red eye flight, so.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah, that's perfect. Not bad at all. Yeah, it makes no sense coming back this way, you know? Exactly.

[Sherrel Rosado]

So I just extended my stay and I'll just leave from here to Paris and then I'll be back. Good dates. And then I'll be back and then, you know.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah, I love.

[Sherrel Rosado]

I love a long distance type of thing.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yes. I think it's a great thing. You know why it's a great thing? Because to be respectful of your household and their household. Everyone in our stage of life has their own going on, you know, that that's what we attract. That's we receive and what we give too. So respectfully, I don't want anybody coming here telling me, look, you know, I'm sorry, I'm gonna come up in here and change some stuff up. And I'm like, no, this is what I bring to the table. This is who I am. And I respect you, you on your side because of that. You know what I'm saying? And if you establish yourself somewhere else, that's where your essence is. That's where your vibe is. That's where your foundation is. That's where your family is. That's where your work, your livelihood is. And we can. You know, I love that fact that it's like absence makes the heart grow fonder. So it just keep. Keep me curious, you know what I mean? So at the same, you got your job, you got your lucky existence in a different city and whomever else. So do they. And so like respectfully look, we'll see each other in paths and crossing and paths. I feel like it's just more fun that way.

[Sherrel Rosado]

It's so much fun. I love it here.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I love it. I love it. I love it for you too.

[Sherrel Rosado]

But other than that, traveling, I have some exciting news. I'm about to launch my. My weighted blanket line. It'll be coming out soon. It's called stillness blanket. So a lot of people know I suffer from PTSD and anxiety. Anxiety. So my sleep pattern is just off. So without my weighted blanket, I don't sleep good. So I was like, I need to come out with my own line.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I know that's right.

[Sherrel Rosado]

And just, you know, just embrace it. So I put a little tweet out there and I told people. You would be amazed how many people sleep with weighted blankets. Use weighted blankets to sleep. Athletes, children who suffer from anxiety, adults. So I'm excited about that.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I remember you telling me about that a little bit ago, and I'm just proud of you that it came to fruition. And now it's, you know, a tangent when you say weighted blanket, is it. Are we able to travel with it?

[Sherrel Rosado]

You can. So I have. It's different sizes. I have a. A 10, 10 pounds, 12 pounds, and 15 pounds. But you can, because the. The case that mine come in, it comes with a little travel case, but it's perfect. It's not you. You can't take it on the. I don't think you could take it on the plane because it's a little heavy.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

But yeah, just thinking of long distance flights. You know what I mean? A home away from home. You want to snuggle, you want to be comfortable. You want that nice hug from that weighted blanket. You know what I mean?

[Sherrel Rosado]

Look at these.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

We selling them already. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? Gonna get that.

[Sherrel Rosado]

So I'm gonna send. I'm gonna send you a sample. I need you to test it out for me. Let me know before, you know, I display. So I'm super excited.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I got you.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Other than that. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. Our girl actually is not here today. She went to Vegas with her husband. They living their best life. I sent her a message. I was like, ashley, you and Phil are starting to look alike now. Y' all been together too long.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Just said, over time, you start looking like your significant other. Especially if you've grown up together, you start sounding alike, having those mannerisms, and very much, you know, just a lot of similarities. So Shout out to Phil and Ashley for 24 hours.

[Sherrel Rosado]

So we're gonna get into them. Shout out our humble baddie of the week. Go to our girl, Coco Golf. She won the French Open, setting the record. She just made history by winning the French Open. But while we're celebrating, some folks out here are throwing shade. So we're going to talk about why black women wins get minimized and how Coco continues to rise with grace under pressure. Did you see what her opponent had to say?

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I did. I'm an avid tennis spectator. I like to go to the Miami Open. I've been to the French Open, and I've been to. I've been also in London as well. So, like, I love tennis. I've always been a fan, obviously, of Serena, Venus, Coco. Just all. All of us in our essence, you know, it's one. One, especially being in Paris in. In France or whatever. It is a very bougie, snobby, you know, preppy sport. And, you know, it's an adjustment. So one, the fact that we have our good sis in there showing up and showing out and really being professional. But she's also young too, right? So I look at it like she is holding her own, and I'm so proud of her. Now, what her opponent said, I know she did backpedal and now say it was very much like she's apologizing, but she stood on. She was very emotional. She was hair with wet, but she definitely was like, you know, blame it on wind conditions and X, Y and z. But when in a competitive sport such as tennis and say, you know, it's an outdoor sport and the fact that you're up against your opponent under the same conditions, it is not necessarily like you have an advantage. She has advantage both of their, you know, this is a competitive score outside, so it is fair game. And it is a competition at the end of the day, and the best person who is going to be the best competitor is going to win. And Coco 100% did. And shame on her opponent for really not giving her her props and really, you know, pushing her forward. But I commend Coco on her response of just saying, you know, I know she's unbelievable. I know what it's like to compete. But, you know, it is Coco's time. Let her thrive, let her shine, and you go, girl.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Exactly. I'm so proud of coco. She's only 21 years old, already a champion.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Champion 21. Just saying.

[Sherrel Rosado]

She just carried herself with so much grace and confidence, and you can't teach that. That's like God given. So shout out to Coco.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I feel like, you know, she's also has some amazing mentors along the way too. Like I just reposted this little meme of her, like she went to the games when she was younger and then she's kind of behind Venus Williams. So the fact that there's role models who always carry grace, who always for themselves and who were to like be competitive but don't take no shit, I feel like, you know, they put them on a pedestal and it's been, it's been amazing to witness and watch over these decades. So shout out to Coco. She is on her way and you know, she a humble baddie.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Yes. My question, do we as a culture sometimes put too much expectations on a young black star?

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I do feel like we do sometimes. Just because I feel like it's rooted in history of just our struggle to have a name for ourselves and to be rooted in excellence. We are marking our territory in so many realms, whether it's sports, business, entertainment, all these realms. And we've always been the most underpaid. We've always been the most, you know, looked over. And so you have to look at it when you're on a stage like that and especially in tennis where it's you versus you, it's your good day versus your bad day, whether you're going to opponent or not. It's a mental game, it's a mental space and you have to be in your shape. So her discipline is awesome. I mean, a lot of we have to be the best because, you know, athletically we are some of the best athletes and we are just very much intelligent. So it's a lot of pressure for us in general. And then especially now with the influx of popularity of women's sports, it's even more on a trajectory of now we're still getting, we're getting meals, we're getting paid. Just how men are getting paid. Well, as getting coverage and insurance and partners and spouses. And you know, we're still in pride month. So the fact that, you know, I look at the wnba, for example, they have helped out with insurance and health coverage for partners and spouses of same sex. And it's pivotal in sports in general. Just the fact that they are opportunities. The fact these ladies and gentlemen are, you know, in the forefront, yes, there is pressure, but we with pressure produces diamonds. And just so you know, we are worth thriving in every sport that we, we accomplish. So it is hard, you know, but at the same time, we can handle it.

[Sherrel Rosado]

That's True. I feel the same way. I feel like we expect them to be. I feel like we expect them to be perfect on the court, in interviews, with their image, everything. But they're still growing up in front of us, so we got to give them space to be able to be a human. Like we just put too much on them at an early age and it's not right.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I agree with you, Sherelle. Especially like even our children, they're athletic. So like we see the pressure when parents now with kids that are in little league and look like 13, 12, 11 years old, you know, it's just, I think it's just a sports thing in general pushing your kid or whether it's just being the best we are in America. I know for a fact that we are definitely the ones that are like land of opportunity. We're very sports driven. We're very much like competitive and you know, it can get that had a hand in mental. So I agree with you.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Yes. Why do people struggle to give black women full credit? Because I felt like during, you know, when her opponent, you know, said what she said, it was all excuses instead of saying, you know, a win is a win. Congratulate her. You were making every excuse. You said she didn't play her best, but she beat you. Why is it so hard and so much a struggle to give black women full credit?

[Alexis Stoudemire]

We are just because we, I think Malcolm X said it best when we are the most underrepresented and also disrespected people on earth, you know, is the black female yet. We are the, we have the most homes that we've owned, we're the most educated and we also are some of the most spending marketing dollars as well as being entrepreneurs. So at the end of the day, to me, it's always gonna, the cream always rises top. So we are a force. I mean, I look at Oprah Winfrey. Oprah Winfrey, for example. I saw the Forbes list of self made female billionaires and she is up there. And so kudos to her for really being, you know, exemplify, exemplifying what it means to be in your essence of who we are. And you know, shout out to all of our CEOs and our boss women and our humble betties across the globe. You know, we are a force to reckon with. And I'm a proud black woman. I know you are too. And you know, we are just sitting in our essence of, of, of our queen. You know, as you said earlier, you're a queen and that's real and the fact that we have to be reminded of who we are. We know who we are, but like we don't get it. You know, it comes from a struggle of having to birth, you know, slave owners, children and you know, be like the first obgyns. And then it takes, then we. If we were lactating, then we're also breastfeeding and we're nursing, we're caring for and then we're also taking men that are from war. We were the first nurses and we were the first everything that you can imagine. So, you know, it is our time to shine and you know, we want to have it the hardest because we are that essence. We birth tribes and it is real.

[Sherrel Rosado]

And I also feel like we make everything look too easy. We make everything look too easy. So when you walk in a room with confidence, there's always going to be somebody who needs to downplay your shine to make themselves feel better. So it's like no matter what it's. We're always going to get some type of something, some type of hate. Hateration. Some type of noise.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Exactly.

[Sherrel Rosado]

But I feel like we.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Exception to the norm, right?

[Sherrel Rosado]

Yes. I feel like she handled it with grace. She did what she needed to do. How she responded, that's my next thing. I feel like, you know, people, people were looking for her to, to respond, but I feel like her response was winning. That's the biggest flex.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah.

[Sherrel Rosado]

So she didn't even have to address the shade, her success.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah, I agree. Very professional. And you're right, her win was, was all that needs to be talked, talked about. And low key silence is very powerful too. You know what I mean? She didn't have to address her because it is her time. It is her time to shine and it was not about the opponent that did not win. So kudos for Coco for first, you know, standing in this, showing up, being the better competitor, winning, taking home that prize, showing out. She wrote she manifest this too. She showed in her one of her posts that she was like, I will win, I will win. So she's showing the power of manifestation too and working hard. So yeah, I'm with you with that Sherrelle.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Exactly my question to you, Lex. I know, I've experienced it. Have you ever experienced someone minimizing your win?

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Of course. Every day I feel like we, we are in, not only in competition with others, but ourselves and unfortunately it'd be our own people. You know what I mean? I just, it's tough at times, but at the same time that resilience is there and it's embedded in us. I look at it like, I mean, we see it in friendships, we see it in partnerships, we see it in business. And, you know, it's just like I. I mean, I had to deal with that a long time before I even got married. Oh, you just the baby mama or you just behind the scenes or. Who are you anyway? And, you know, it comes a time when it is your time to shine and. And we. And we. And it's just about patience and really just staying the course and really just following your heart and your dreams and anything is possible.

[Sherrel Rosado]

That's true.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I feel the same way. What about you?

[Sherrel Rosado]

Yeah, I feel the same way all the time in business, really, in life. You know, people love to say, oh, it's easy for you. They don't. But they don't understand. They don't see the grind behind the scenes. I've learned not to even engage in things like that because they don't know what we've been through, what, you know, how hard it is. We may, like I said before, we make it look so easy, but don't minimize what we've been through just because we make it look easy.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah, because it's like an iceberg just underneath the surface. Okay. You only see just a little bit. All right. But there's so much going on underneath. We are very hands on. We have our hands in so many different pots and we take care of so many people, and we also want to bring others in too. So that's a lot of energy, a lot of, you know, just, you know, really just trying to be helpful at all times. So, yes. Peach is just like a pretty face, a beautiful body. Oh, she's this. She's kept. She's this and that and whatever. Nah, there's actually a lot going on behind all this. I'm just, you know.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Yeah, yeah. So our advice to you all humble baddies, they gonna talk whether you win or lose. So you might as well keep winning. Don't pay attention to the haters.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah. Keep it moving.

[Sherrel Rosado]

And the takeaway from this, don't explain your excellence to people committed to misunderstanding your shine.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I know that's right. Thank you for that show.

[Katherine Townsend]

I know a lot of cops and they get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun? Sometimes the answer is yes. But there's a company dedicated to a future where the answer will always be no.

[Dan Flores]

Across the country, cops called this Taser the revolution.

[Katherine Townsend]

But not everyone was convinced it was that simple.

[Dan Flores]

Cops believed everything that Taser told them.

[Katherine Townsend]

From Lava For Good and the team that brought you Bone Valley comes a story about what happened when a multi billion dollar company dedicated itself to one visionary mission. This is Absolute Season 1 Taser Incorporated.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I get right back there and it's bad. It's really, really really bad.

[Katherine Townsend]

Listen to new episodes of Absolute Season 1 Taser Incorporated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Binge episodes 1, 2 and 3 on May 21 and episodes 4, 5 and 6 on June 4 ad free at Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Dan Flores]

The American west with Dan Flores is the latest show from the Meat Eater Podcast Network. Hosted by me, writer and historian Dan Flores and brought to you by Velvet Buck, this podcast looks at a West available nowhere else. Each episode I'll be diving into some of the lesser known histories of the the West. I'll then be joined in conversation by guests such as Western historian Dr. Randall Williams and best selling author and Meat eater founder Stephen Rinella.

[Clayton English]

I'll correct my kids now and then where they'll say when cave people were here. And I'll say it seems like the.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Ice Age people that were here didn't have a real affinity for caves.

[Dan Flores]

So join me starting Tuesday, May 6th where we'll delve into stories of the west and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today.

[Clayton English]

Listen to the American west with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Unknown]

I'm Clayton English. I'm Greg Lott and this is season two of the War on Drugs podcast. Sir, we are back in a big way.

[Clayton English]

In a very big way. Real people, real perspectives.

[Unknown]

This kind of star studded a little bit, man. We got Ricky Williams, NFL player, Heisman Trophy winner.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

It's just the compassionate choice to allow players all reasonable means to care for themselves.

[Clayton English]

Music stars Marcus King, John Osborne from Brothers Osborne.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

We have this misunderstanding of what this quote unquote drug thing is.

[Clayton English]

Benny the Butcher, Brent Smith from Shinedown.

[Unknown]

Got be real from Cypress Hill, NHL enforcer Riley Cote, Marine Corps vet, MMA fighter Liz Caramouche.

What we're doing now isn't working and.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

We need to change that things.

[Clayton English]

Stories matter and it brings a face to them.

[Unknown]

It makes it real.

[Clayton English]

It really does. It makes it real.

[Unknown]

Listen to new episodes of the War on Drugs Podcast Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and to hear episodes one week early and ad free with exclusive content subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcast.

Over the past six years of making my true crime podcast Hell and Gone, I've learned one thing. No town is too small for murder. I'm Katherine Townsend. I've received hundreds of messages from people across the country begging for help with unsolved murders.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I was calling about the murder of my husband.

[Sherrel Rosado]

It's a cold case.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

They've never found her and it haunts.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Me to this day.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

The murderer is still out there.

[Unknown]

Every week on Hell and Gone Murder line, I dig into a new case, bringing the skills I've learned as a journalist and private investigator to ask the questions no one else is asking.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Police really didn't care to even try. She was still somebody's mother. She was still somebody's daughter. She was still somebody's sister. There's so many questions that we've never gotten any kind of answers for.

[Unknown]

If you have a case you'd like me to look into, call the Helen Gone murder line at 678-744-6145. Listen to Helen Gone Murderline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Let's get into it. The next one. So Brittany came out and Brittany Renner came out about her in kendag. So you know, a couple of weeks ago she said that they got married. She was super excited, which I was shocked because my last thing I knew he was still married to Draca. But now she's talking about that. So let me read it. Brittany Renner and Kevin Gates took a fast ride down the aisle and even a fastest trip to divorce court. We're unpacking whirlwind relationships, public love, spiritual healing, and whether following your heart is always the best move. Because she did state it. You know, she don't regret it. She followed her heart. Is there a such thing as moving too fast in love?

[Alexis Stoudemire]

My thing is there's double edged sword one. I don't condone anybody moving on while you're in a situation a marriage, I think that's a little tacky. But at the same time I feel like when people are ready in their own way to people. Do you. I mean I don't know how Islam works as far as I know. I do know that you can have multiple wives. So even if he is still married legally to Drika, he can have multiple unions and marriages as long as you take care of the wife of the wives and the households, meaning the children and everything else. So I do. She did very vocally say she Followed her heart and she did. And it was very much a public rendezvous. And the fact that, you know, and it's embarrassing, you know, at the same time that it was a quick union and then a quick divorce. But at the same time she stated the facts that in Islam it's a 90 day waiting period. When you do have a marriage, there's consensual acknowledgement of that. And then obviously you have to consummate the marriage so she could be with child, which in actuality he would have to care for and her and this child as well. So. And I love the fact that she mentioned that, you know, you still are not supposed to entertain another piece and you're able to try to reconcile. I thought that was pretty dope. But at the same time, we are here to have the human experience of love and failure. We're supposed to enjoy one another. We're supposed to live with amongst ourselves and we're supposed to choose. And everything in life we do is a lesson. Whether it's a blessing, a lesson, do better. So I feel I'm a lover. Y' all know that already. I'm very much a lover and follow your heart. But there's ways of doing things. I do not condone cheating, I do not control, condone adultery, I do not condone, condone lying, none of that kind of stuff. So I was, I also say, you know, you lose them, how you get them, so you don't know a lot of their history. I don't know personally. But at the same time she is vocal about their marriage and so they were in a partnership and here we are. So I don't know. I mean, this is a tough situation. It gets worse when there's children involved in other households and things like that. But you know what I mean, there's a lot of people who have, you know, married quickly and have. Still are still together. I know a few couples actually that met one night stands or the first week, got married quickly and are still together. So it's all about timing too. And if you find your person, then find your person and ball out. Because we only have one life to live and it comes with controversy, obviously being public figures. So that's all I can speak on with it as far as that is concerned. What are your thoughts?

[Sherrel Rosado]

I mean, I respect, respect Brittany for speaking her truth.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

But.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Listen, that's not a marriage, that's a trial period. It ain't even a marriage.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

But as far as benefits didn't even kick in yet.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Even kick in yet. It sounds cute. You Know, following your heart or whatever, but your heart can want something your mind knows better about. So. I mean, love is beautiful and everything, but it has to be backed by wisdom at the end of the day. So just going off of following your heart, you. You have to think more.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

It can be enough.

[Sherrel Rosado]

It ain't enough.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah, yeah, you're right. Because it's like you get caught up in, like, the fairy tale and that beautiful side of it. And then you look up, there's like, there's bills, there's households, there's emotions, there's nuances and things you're discovering about somebody. And do I really want to deal with that? And that and the third, do I really like this person? And. Oh, they snore or they were doing this. You really don't know somebody. It is that definitely.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Why did you guys leave?

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Once you start, man, it's a leap of faith, though. It's a leap of faith, but, like, look, we gonna decide to try to make this grow every day. Like, I gotta learn something about you every day. Yeah, it could be. That could be tough.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Some people felt like it was. Some people felt like it was true love, and some people felt like it was clout. I think it was a little bit of both. I think it was a little bit of both. So, you know, because social media amplifies everything. Once everything figures link up, it adds pressure for you to move fast and short. We know because, you know, we're both, you know, public figures. But I feel like, you know, it was pressured a lot due to them being publicly on social media A lot.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah. I mean, and you getting added people all up in your business, too, at the end of the day, like, you know, it does. It does almost ring a bell of. I know when you say clout as a thing, but, you know, sometimes you want your date to be at you too, you know, somebody you want to share these memories with. I mean, it kind of poses the question of, do you really, you know, want your relationship to be public? You know? You know what I mean?

[Sherrel Rosado]

Because you would never, ever see me in a public relationship ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever again, ever, ever, ever forever. The only thing y' all see is what watch he wearing today. Whether it's the Richard Millie one piece AP period. That's whether the custom France bracelet. You would never see me in a public relationship ever.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like the people in your circle know who you with. You know what I'm saying? They know how you moving. That is most important. It's not Consumption because they will eat you up, spit you out, throw you away, regurgitate you and stomp on you. So they, you know, it's not a lot of love with people who don't want to see you to be, want to see you happy. And everyone has opinion on your relationship being. I would prefer a private situation too. Like obviously if we're public figures and we get caught out by the paparazzi or you know, people with their phones out, that's a different story. But like at the end of the day, I like to be speculated about. I like to be keep that sense of privacy because you know, once you walk outside of these doors, you're basically, you know, you're for everyone. You know what I mean? And you do want sacredness of a partnership for sure. I know I do. I know you do too. That's something we don't about. Yeah, yeah.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Because peace hits different when people don't have access to your personal life. Some things are sacred and it feels, it feels good.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

That's a bar.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Yeah, it was, it was a bar.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

It was a bar. Like you got to keep everything.

[Sherrel Rosado]

And I learned that from pre, you know, previous, previous situations, previous relationships. Like it just, it feels so much better when you're just low key about everything. You don't have to have let the world have access to everything.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

So they want to ruin it. They're not looking for the best, they're not making sure you're happy and they don't know what's going on behind closed doors. You know what I mean? We have to deal with life, real life and blending and who are we in growing with somebody and getting to know them from a healed space. So. Yeah, no, that's true.

[Sherrel Rosado]

So our advice for people who feel like they have to expose everything, everything in these relationships, it has to be public, move smart, protect your peace and remember, real love don't need an audience.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Okay, Cheers.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Cheers to that. Look, I got my water.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I got that too.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Our next thing. So I was on social media, Lex, and you know, a lot of us have been, have been witnesses to it. And I seen something and I was like, this is something good. And we, we did get some mail, the same situation, but it was talking about, you know, a ten year girlfriend versus a six month wife. What, like, what is it called? I forgot what they call it.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I don't know. This is just a name.

[Sherrel Rosado]

It's a name for someone who's been a girlfriend for a long time.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Person was practicing.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Yeah, they was prepping him up. I forgot the name, it'll hit back to me. But I was scrolling through social media, and it was so many things about it, so many people talking about it. So we're talking about it may ruffle some feathers because a lot of people, even myself, have been in this situation. I can speak on it. When is a man ready to move? Like, you know, you've been in a relationship for so many years, y' all break up. Then he get in a new relationship, and he ends up marrying this person. And they only been together for six months.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah. Wow. Low key. I look at it like this. I feel like when you know, you know, so it's okay. And then you don't know what people's motives are too. It could be very much like, I have a void to fill. I need to have somebody here or let me take a chance on love. You know what I mean? I feel like I don't wanna speak for you, but I know you, and we're very much open to our partnership. You know what I mean? We're not, like, very much like, I'll never be this again. We still. Even though we might have had, you know, ups and downs in past previous relationships, we still want to be loved and we still want to give love. And because we're nurturers. And so with that being said, I feel like, especially from a male perspective, and I. Obviously, I'm not a man, but just knowing guys, friends, he knew when they were ready, and so they were like, regardless. If I was with someone 10 to 11 years, I could have been ready, but I wasn't. You know what I mean? I wasn't where I was financially. I wasn't where I was emotionally, spiritually, whatever. So whoever happens to cross that path at that moment is gonna get that man in that space when he's ready to be that kind of husband or that kind of partner. I stand firm in that. And that goes with us, too, as ladies. I know us. I'm speaking for you and not Sherrelle. Like, we're not gonna propose to a man. You know what I mean? Like, we'll let. We'll let a guy do his manly duties and do that. So, like, I'm saying that to the point of that, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like when men are at a point where they're like, look, I'm ready to provide her. I'm ready to be a caretaker. I'm willing to really be vulnerable and give my life to this woman. That could be any time. It could be really later on in Life, I feel like, especially for our men. So I feel like it's just. It's about timing, you know, and when a man is ultimately ready for whatever, he's gonna do it. And he and everyone in the world can be like, don't do it. Reconsider, you know, like, don't do it. But if that man has his mind set up and is like, look, I'm just. This is why I'm gonna take my leap. He's gonna do it.

[Sherrel Rosado]

That's true. I feel. I feel the same way. I feel like when a man is ready emotionally, financially, and mentally, he don't play no games, he anyone, and he moves accordingly. It just sucks. You know, some. Some women get stuck in that situation where, you know, they. They're with this person, they go through everything with this person, even though this person cheats, does everything. And then, you know, years have passed by, and now they're ready to settle down. And you gave up on the situation. Now they find somebody and it's like, okay, I. I've done enough.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

You know, I'm always great. Someone else then. You know what I mean? I know what I'm capable of. I know what I also invested in, too. And there's obviously a reason why me and my person or whatever. I'm just speaking on myself, didn't work out. And I wish you the best. The next person. You know what I mean? I know it didn't work out with X, Y, and Z. So it's just, in essence, I'm a firm believer in alignment and timing as well as being in both. People need to be in a healed space of receiving and giving. So whenever it's your time, it's your time, you know, and be great.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Do you think, like, do women. Do you feel like women feel played when they go through situations like this? Like, you know, I've been with this person for seven and a half years. He left me, and now he's with another woman. And he already proposed six months in, and they're getting married. Do you feel like.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Like, that's ego? Yeah, it is. Yeah, I do. That's ego. That's ego. You know, we all. We all were like, well, I put in this. I. I worked hard. I invested in this man for the all from this woman to fit for my. For my, you know, whatever I put in. But at the end of the day, there's a reason why y' all not together, and that person's gonna have to figure that out on their own. It's their time. So again, people are in your life for a reason, for a season, and you can't look at it. I know. I have learned that. I can't look at it like, you know, oh, what is my return on my investment? Nah. At the end of the day, I don't regret shit because it is what it is. I was supposed to be in this person's life. We were supposed to have these times together, and we were not supposed to continue this journey together. And that's okay. So when you get to a point of healing and. And not being triggered by, like, things that relationship, you have to remember, like, you prayed your way out of it, you cried your way out of it, you mentally healed your way out of a situation that was not for you. So once we learn that and put ego aside, we realize that, you know what? There's better out there. The grass is greener. And I'm a firm believer in that. You know, like, I believe in karma. I believe in all these. So come when it happens. Okay?

[Sherrel Rosado]

Okay, look, I feel like the same thing. It's okay to feel hurt. It's a natural feeling.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

It is.

[Sherrel Rosado]

As women, you. You shouldn't feel played. You were a chapter in his growth, so you should be happy about that. You taught him things he probably couldn't receive at the time. So just know that it was, you know, it was a chapter. It had to end. But like you said, it's a new chapter, and the chapter gets better and better once you continue that book.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

So just. Ladies. They don't forget, right, Shirelle? They're not gonna forget. They don't forget. You done left your mark, okay? Left of your mark.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Look, you done highlighted every page. That highlight stays on them words.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Okay?

[Sherrel Rosado]

They can't do it. Like, you always remember that.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

No, no, no. All facts.

[Sherrel Rosado]

It's. It's crazy.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

All facts.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Let's see. Let's see. What's stopping women from healing.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Is what? Bitterness.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Bitterness. Me, I feel like. I feel like bitterness do keep you stuck. You don't heal by holding on to anger. You heal by releasing and understanding that what's for you is like you said before, it's. It's still ahead. The grass, you know, there's always greener grass on the other side. So continuing to hold on to something and continuing to be bitter about something, you only stopping yourself so, you know, forgive, get over it, let it go and continue on. You don't know what's on that other side. Boo Boo. Let it go.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah. You know, I agree with you, Sherrelle. We just get in our own way because we nurturers and we pour into our significant other. We also pour into our children and that becomes attractive. We pour into our households and our family, we pour into our jobs, our work, you know, all these passions. So we are passionate people. So when you get to know us, you're like, oh, no, let me see. And it's not for everyone to handle because we cannot, we cannot change who we are. We just ourselves, we have gone through so many things to the point where we are now, can nobody penetrate that unless we allow it, you know what I mean? So like that comes with the territory, you know, like, we're also fun. So you gonna get everything, we gonna get. You gonna get it all, you gonna get fitness, we gonna cater to you, you gonna get all that and everyone who deals with a safe space to receive that. That's not for everyone to get, you know what I mean? Like, it's a privilege. And that's how I'm moving. And that's how we move. We move like, you know, it's a privilege to be in my space, It's a privilege to be in my aura. And for me to pour into you and give you my time because it's precious, you know, and it is, it is a sense of bitterness, you know, because you're just, it's almost disappointment. But again, that's that human nature in us and human experience in us of like, you know, I didn't, I didn't put all the, all this work in. I didn't really see the fruits of our labor. But what we didn't realize is the growth in ourselves. We were not supposed to be with that person long term. And we have given, you know, I know I'm guilty of it. I give wife everywhere, you know what I mean? I wanna, I wanna take care of you. I wanna make sure you're good. I want you to be happy. I want you fed in so many ways. But at the same time, you know, at what cost is that for me in my integrity and my essence of Alexis, you know what I mean? Like, I can't falter that, you know, I don't wanna, I don't wanna hinder my health and my time for someone who's not reciprocating it and receiving it properly. It's just a growth period for that bitterness energy because we get upset again and that's ego, you know, but it also comes from healing and therapy and talking to people who are like minded and very much on a healthy, healthy journey of not being miserable. Because misery Loves company, too. And if you had a space where, you know, you're down and you're at a low pivotal point, don't beat off of that. And they're giving you negative energy and negative, you know, commentary and. And just very much not happy for you. So it's a journey, it's a lesson. And we're supposed to learn this is it one time at this. It's not going to be perfect and we have to take our hands off and try to, you know, navigate things on our own because it's not about it.

[Sherrel Rosado]

That's so true.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I agree with you. Yeah, I agree with you.

[Sherrel Rosado]

And then, you know, I feel like a lot of women, you know, a lot of people, not just women, they. They want closure. But you have to understand, closure don't come with the conversation. Sometimes it comes when you stop replaying the stor. So sometimes you just gotta let it go. Close that book, move on.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yes. And again, power in silence. I mean, that is closure in itself. You know, why. Why send the long paragraphs? And then you. Now your text is turning green. You know, again, you were disrespected then, so what makes you think you're not gonna be disrespected now? If you didn't have closure then, what you think you gonna do now? You have to let people land. You have to let them be who they are and receive it. You know what I mean? Like, it is what it is. I have learned. You cannot expect me out of you. It just is what it is. Let people land. Let them be themselves. And you know better, so you do better. That's it.

[Sherrel Rosado]

When you know better, you do better.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Okay.

[Katherine Townsend]

I know a lot of cops, and they get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun? Sometimes the answer is yes. But there's a company dedicated to a future where the answer will always be no.

[Dan Flores]

Across the country, cops called this Taser the revolution.

[Katherine Townsend]

But not everyone was convinced it was that simple.

[Dan Flores]

Cops believed everything that Taser told them.

[Katherine Townsend]

From Lava for good, and the team that brought you Bone Valley, comes a story about what happened when a multi billion dollar company dedicated itself to one visionary mission. This is Absolute Season one, Taser Incorporated.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I get right back there and it's bad. It's really, really, really bad.

[Katherine Townsend]

Listen to new episodes of Absolute Season 1, Taser Incorporated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Binge episode episodes 1, 2 and 3 on May 21 and episodes 4, 5 and 6 on June 4 ad free at Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Dan Flores]

The American west with Dan Flores is the latest show from the Meat Eater Podcast Network. Hosted by me, writer and historian Dan Flores and brought to you by Velvet Buck, this podcast looks at a West available nowhere else. Each episode I'll be diving into some of the lesser known histories of the West. I'll then be joined in conversation by guests such as Western historian Dr. Randall Williams and best selling author and Meat Eater founder Stephen Rinella.

[Clayton English]

I'll correct my kids now and then where they'll say when cave people were here and I'll say it seems like the Ice Age people that were here.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Didn'T have a real offense.

[Dan Flores]

So join me starting Tuesday, May 6th where we'll delve into stories of the west and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today.

[Clayton English]

Listen to the American west with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Unknown]

I'm Clayton English. I'm Greg Lott, and this is season two of the War on Drugs podcast. Yes sir, we are back in a big way.

[Clayton English]

In a very big way. Real people, real perspectives.

[Unknown]

This is kind of star studded a little bit, man. We got Ricky Williams, NFL player, Heisman Trophy winner.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

It's just the compassionate choice to allow.

[Clayton English]

Players all reasonable means to care for themselves. Music stars Marcus King, John Osborne from Brothers Osborne.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

We have this misunderstanding of what this quote unquote drug thing is.

[Clayton English]

Benny the Butcher, Brent Smith from Shinedown.

[Unknown]

Got Be real from Cypress Hill, NHL enforcer Riley Cote, Marine Corps vet, MMA fighter Liz Caramouche.

What we're doing now isn't working and.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

We need to change things.

[Clayton English]

Stories matter and it brings a face to them.

[Unknown]

It makes it real.

[Clayton English]

It really does. It makes it real.

[Unknown]

Listen to new episodes of the War on Drugs Podcast Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts and to hear episodes one week early and ad free with exclusive content. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

Over the past six years of making my true crime podcast Hell and Gone, I've learned one thing. No town is too small for murder. I'm Katherine Townsend. I've received hundreds of messages from people across the country begging for help with unsolved murders.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I was calling about the murder of my husband.

[Sherrel Rosado]

It's a cold case.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I've never found her and it haunts.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Me to this day.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

The murderer is still out there.

[Unknown]

Every week on Helen Gone Murder Line, I dig into A new case, bringing the skills I've learned as a journalist and private investigator to ask the questions no one else is asking.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Police really didn't care to even try. She was still somebody's mother. She was still somebody's daughter. She was still somebody. There's so many questions that we've never gotten any kind of answers for.

[Unknown]

If you have a case you'd like me to look into, call the Helen Gone murder line at 678-744-6145. Listen to Helen Gone Murder line on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Sherrel Rosado]

All right, let's get into it. We back our next segment is our humble baddie questions. We've received some new questions. So our first one, what's one personal win you've had recently that you feel like people don't fully understand or acknowledge?

[Alexis Stoudemire]

A personal win? I would say a couple things. One, the journey of leaving a public relationship and still standing on my feet, as well as holding down a household, raising children. Now I have two graduates in my household. My children are very well versed. They're good kids, good human. So I find motherhood in general, we never get accolades for one, and then two, balancing life, you know, you know, jobs and income and work and really just continuing to, you know, take care of our family, that is another thing. And then even just like, you know, we have been put just, I must say this for just in general, we have been put on a time clock. Like, if you're not this age and you don't have this, then you have failed, you know, so that is a different pressure too. Like, I feel like if you don't have kids at this age, then you just won't have them at all. Or if you haven't been married at this age, then, you know, you're never gonna get married. That is just like, you know, the stigma and the pressure that especially in our communities, too. It's also our families, you know, like, where are my grandkids? Where are my grandkids? You know, what's taking so long? Where your man at? All these pressures, it causes rushing and really you not making the right decisions, you know. So I don't know, I think one.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Of, one of my biggest, and I agree with you, Lex, and this one, I honestly, I learned it from you, is my biggest win, is protecting my piece. And before I could, I felt like I couldn't say that. You know, people see your business, they see, they see the podcast, they see the success, but they, they don't see the internal work that it takes to stay grounded, especially when you got a lot of eyes on you. So I've learned to say no. I've learned to set boundaries.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yes.

[Sherrel Rosado]

To let everyone have access to me. So that's like a big win for me.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

And do you like really do what makes you happy? If it's travel, if it's spa, if it's walking, if it's running, if it's exercising, whatever it is, you gotta. Because, you know, we've talked about this too. If this is not healthy and you not healthy, then all this gonna fall apart. Everything. It's so many people that depend on us. You know what I mean? In a beautiful way. People that we, we pour into. So like, if I'm not right, the top of that pillar is not right, then all of this gonna crumble. You know it is. That's just facts. So you gotta protect your peace all the time. Because you work so hard to habits and so you need to work even harder to keep it.

[Sherrel Rosado]

That's true. Our next question. Have you ever stayed too long in a relationship or situation because you thought they'll eventually get it together? What made you finally leave or stay? I can answer this.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah. No, no. I'm curious.

[Sherrel Rosado]

I feel like, you know, absolutely to this question. I've stayed too long thinking love could change somebody. We all be in that situation, you know, oh, you know, maybe he'll change if I'm with them, if I can teach them or that eventually they would catch up to where I was mentally or emotionally. But the truth is you can't carry someone into readiness. That's just the truth. You can. You can't. So I finally left when I realized I was losing pieces of myself. I couldn't stay. Like I had to get it together. Trying to hold on to something and I'm losing myself. It wasn't right. So the breaking point for. For me was choosing myself.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I feel like we are all guilty and staying in that job too long, in that. That family reunion too long and in that relationship too long again. It comes with growth of who we are and what we're trying to become as just again humans on this experience and really learning to love again. And so I feel like we have done an exceptional job of understanding our worst. It goes down to that too, and understanding tolerance too. Because you know, it gets. We get blinded in trying to nurture others and trying to fix and trying to heal. But when you look back and you're giving advice to other people, would you receive that that's same as make that in return. Would you. Would you. I always look, I always put my daughters in. In their. In my shoes, I'm like, would I want a man or a young fella to be treating them this way? Absolutely not. In my sons do. Am I teaching them to treat young ladies this way? Absolutely not. So I have to look at myself and be like, yeah, I'm the one that's leading by example. So if I am going to tolerate, tolerate X, Y and Z, then my kids are watching me and I'm stopping these generational curses. I'm stopping this generational trauma. So it starts and ends with me. And we have to acknowledge when there's an expiration date and it's okay. Like, I actually learned to be okay with being from Asia 19 to. Even in my 30s, I was in a partnership with somebody leans on them, you know, expected X, Y and Z from them. And so the point where I really just have gotten to a space of learning who Alexis is and what I tolerate and my piece is non negotiable at this point. And what you see is what you get that part. And okay in hindsight that, yeah, I'm actually okay in that hindsight that if this doesn't work out, I'm okay with it. Because whoever enters my life at this space is for a reason, whatever that capacity is. It could be a partnership, it could be a friendship, it could be business, it could be insight, it can be consultation, it can be a lesson. It could be the status of, you know what. Yeah, you know, I had a good time with this person. They really took the joy in my life and made and elevated me and showed me, you know, it's cool to be friends, it's cool to be this. It's cool to pour into somebody and be vulnerable. And I hold. I think the whole point of loving somebody is that you gotta keep loving them over and over again. And so we have to understand that there's an expiration date for everything. Just, you know, the FDA puts a label and expiration date on food, it's gonna go sour. So you either, you have. We have to do better of recognizing that, you know, like people are in your life for a season and for a reason. And some gonna make it, you know, if they're that part of a twig or that, that, that branch part of the, you know, or, or even a root, you know, so I'm gonna get inside there. Is it hurtful? Yeah. But I don't look at it as a waste of time. I Don't look at it as a waste of energy. I don't look at it as a waste of life because it's really shaping me of who I am. You know, you're not gonna get along with everybody. It's just.

[Sherrel Rosado]

That's facts. That's true. Just facts. That's true. Lex. Our next question is, what's something you heal from that you didn't think you would? How did you get through it?

[Alexis Stoudemire]

My first thing is divorce. You know, you don't go into a marriage thinking you're going to be divorced. That's just golden. I didn't think I was going to get through it. Just the heartbreak, the heartache, the, you know, this newfound independence and really taking care of my children as a single mother, that is something I didn't think I could get over. But here I am five years later and thriving. I'm following my dreams. I figured out that I have the time now to follow my heart. And so all things happen for a reason. And actually I'm the healthiest I've ever been. I am the most skin blowing skin is the best it's ever been. Mentally, I'm more focused. I know exactly what I want. And I'm at a place of filtering out bullshit. So I'm very grateful for that journey. You know what I mean? Now, if you would have told me this day one post, I would have been like, my life is over this. I mean, this takes time and healing. Therapy trips. Yeah, come on now. All of that. And because we're, we're. It's trauma, it's triggers, you know, we're coming from, you know, really grieving. We're in a. Grieving periods. And so, like, we have to give ourselves grace. And I think that was the main thing that I learned. I mean, I've had this conversation with you too, Sherrelle. Like, we have to give ourselves grace. Like, we are so much these women that are like, it has to be like this. It should be like this. And it looks like this. That's not. That's not possible. We gotta give ourselves time. We have to give ourselves hiccups. We gotta give ourselves grace. We gotta give ourselves madness and crying time and times where we just shut down, down, shut the, turn off the phone, don't want to be bothered, all of that, you know what I'm saying? And. And I can only speak for myself because it's like, I know what I needed to. For me to. To be this. Alexis, you know, what about. What about yourself? And it took time and it's still taking time. It's a process.

[Sherrel Rosado]

It does. I feel the same thing. You know, it. My biggest thing, you know, the divorce through friends and everything. My biggest thing is. Is betrayal. You know, I never thought I would fully heal. Been being let down by people who were so close to me, who I loved and trusted. But the main thing that really got me through everything was, of course, like you said, therapy, prayer, traveling, and just learning how to forgive people without needing an apology.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

That's it.

[Sherrel Rosado]

That's the biggest thing.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

So you.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Some just forgive. You don't need an apology. On everything. I had to release the weight of carrying other. Other people. Choices like that was the main thing. Healing is a choice you have to make. So me, I just, I had to fix myself and, and understand who I am, let it go, move on.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

And it's still a work in progress, wouldn't you agree? Like every day. Aren't you learning stuff about yourself? Oh, I know I am. Every day I'm like, yeah, like, you know, I'm, you know, in that dating stage, for example. I'm like, yeah, no, that turned me off. Moving on or whatever the case may be or, or speaking up more and having boundaries and just these non negotiables. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you, Sherrelle. I'm proud of you too, because I've seen the growth and you know, it's takes time, you know, and you're very, you're very hard on yourself. You know what I mean?

[Sherrel Rosado]

So hard on myself.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah, you are so hard on yourself. And it's no time limit. You cannot put time on healing like you really cannot. And you know, you got to push forward. And so I'm proud of you. You've done a great job.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Thank you, my love. Thank you. Our next one, we got our humble Betty's mail. And I'm proud of you too, Lex. You, you know, I get my motivation. You may not do it, but I love being around you. I love being around you ladies because y' all teach. Y' all may not know it, but y' all teach so much, you know, just by your actions, how you carry yourself as a woman, how you, you speak like. It's just, it's. It's beautiful to be able to call you my friend and have someone like you and Ashley around because you learn so much without even knowing that you.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Absolutely.

[Sherrel Rosado]

So I'm truly grateful to have.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Thank you for that. Same here. I know. Shout out to Ashley and her absence and Porsche too, you know, I know. Just Came through a couple times, and just like everyone that we touched. So I received that. Thank you so much for that.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Thank you. All right, let's get into it. We have our humble baddies mail.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I've got you, boo. You ready for me?

[Sherrel Rosado]

Yes, I'm ready for you.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Okay, boo. Dear humble baddies. That's us. I need y' all to keep it real with me. I was with my ex for nine years. We lived together, built multiple businesses together, and I supported him through every pentacles, job changes, family drama, even his health scares. Every time I brought up marriage, he said he's not ready or he needs more time to be stable. We finally broke up. Eight months later, he's engaged to a girl he met after me. I feel like I invested all my best years into building him up for someone else. I blocked him on everything because seeing his new life hurts. But a part of me still wants to confront him and ask, why not me? Am I wrong for feeling bitter? Should I give my closure or just focus on healing? Love you all. Love Yalls podcast. Stacy from Chicago. What's up, Stacey from the shot.

[Sherrel Rosado]

Hey, Stacy. Damn, that's hurt. That's a sad situation. But I feel like everything you're feeling, Stacy, is 100% valid. You love them, you built with them. You sacrifice for him, and now you watching him give everything that y' all built together to someone else. Something that you prayed for. It's not just the heartbreak, but I feel like it's a betrayal mixed with confusion. So it's. It's hard. It's. It's very hard. But you can't force them. You got to understand, Stacy, you can't force someone to be ready for you if you aren't ready for. For. If they're not ready for themselves. So it's. It's one of those things like we. We spoke about earlier. You just, you know, heal, get over it and move on.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yeah. And it's a lesson in itself. And don't feel like. Don't. I feel like we again, we're harder on ourselves. And I. You cannot regret anything that you poured into this person, because that's who you are, Stacy. You are that giver. You. You helped him in X, Y, and Z. Y' all built these businesses. You were supposed to be in his life for that. He was supposed to be in your life for that reason. Now, moving forward, you cannot bring this into the next. You know, that is your ex for a reason. Again, it was not meant to be. And now you are meant to be for someone else, or you're meant to be in this space of being by yourself, and that's okay. You have to get to a space of understanding who you are in your essence and your worth and that right person, you know, especially because I feel like. Like we're in of reciprocated energy and reflection. So, like, what I'm reflecting to you is what you're going to attract. So if you're, like, sad and hurt, you're going to attract somebody that's going to take advantage of that. But if you're graceful and you're happy and you're just open, you're going to receive somebody that's open as well. So I, you know, my suggestion is for you to, like, I'm glad you have mental health. That's fine. Do what is best for you. You. But at the same time, start focusing on yourself. You going and go out with your friends, Go out and turn up and have a good time, because that's where you gonna meet somebody. And you know your time will come. And now you just are more equipped. You have experience now of what you want and what you don't want.

[Sherrel Rosado]

And you gotta understand, Stacy, as far as closure, you already have it. He showed you who he was. Going back for answers definitely ain't gonna heal it. Heal it. All it's gonna do is just open up more wounds. So just healing Sile and glow, girl. Glow in the public. Go out, have fun, enjoy life. You got this, girl.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yep. And that's that. It does. It does sound then said than done. But it does come from time. Time heals all wounds. It really does.

[Sherrel Rosado]

That's true. That's true. All right, guys, that is it for the Humble Betties. Another one in the book, y' all. We about to call it a night. We about to wrap it up. Oh, shit. Y' all lost me.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Y' all can't see me. I lost you, but I can hear you. Where'd you go? Where's Sherelle?

[Sherrel Rosado]

Listen, I'mma beat Sonny behind because Sony behind because.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

There you are.

[Sherrel Rosado]

You're back.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Oh, now you're gone. But we're at the end anyway, so where can they find you, Cherelle? There you go.

[Sherrel Rosado]

You can find me at Sherrell Rosado Underscore on Instagram. Make sure you follow our podcast on Instagram Humble Baddies Pod podcast and follow us. Subscribe to us. Tell your cousins, your baby daddies, your mistress. Yes. Whoever he is, whoever she is to follow us. Subscribe to us at Homo Baddies podcast on YouTube.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

Yes. So you can find me at Alexis Underscore Stoudemire on Instagram and shout out to the There was a few ladies that came through at Smith and Westers over the weekend that watch our show, so shout out to them. I know y' all watching. They were like, we're fans of the Humble Babies. I was like, thank you so much. Shout out to y' all. And they definitely watch the show, too. So thank you for watching and have a good night.

[Sherrel Rosado]

And if you have anything you want to reach out to us, hit us up@contact humblebaddies.com until next time. We'll see y' all on Wednesday.

[Unknown]

Okay? Have you heard about this? Last year, Degree changed the formula for their Cool Rush deodorant. Their fans rebelled and wanted the old scent back. And ° listen, that doesn't happen often. They admitted that they effed up and are bringing the original Cool Rush scent back. And it's exactly how you remove remember it. Cool, crisp and fresh. There's a reason it's the number one men's antiperspirant and it's back in Walmart, Target and other stores for under $4. So try it and see what the fuss is about. Head to your local stores to try the OG Cool Rush for yourself.

[Katherine Townsend]

I know a lot of cops. They get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun? Sometimes the answer is yes. But there's a company dedicated to a few where the answer will always be no. This is Absolute Season one, Taser Incorporated.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

I get right back there and it's bad.

[Katherine Townsend]

Listen to Absolute Season 1, Taser Incorporated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Dan Flores]

Why is a soap opera western like Yellowstone so wildly successful? The American west with Dan Flores is the from the Meat Eater Podcast Network. So join me starting Tuesday, May 6, where we'll delve into stories of the west and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today.

[Clayton English]

Listen to the American west with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Unknown]

I'm Clayton English. I'm Greg Lott, and this is season two of the War on Drugs podcast, sir.

[Clayton English]

Last year, a lot of the problems of the drug war. This year, a lot of the biggest names in music and sports.

[Unknown]

This kind of star studded a little bit, man.

[Clayton English]

We met them at their homes, we met them at their recording studios. Stories matter and it brings a face to them.

[Unknown]

It makes it real.

[Clayton English]

It really does. It makes it real Listen to new.

[Unknown]

Episodes of the War on Drugs Podcast, Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast.

[Sherrel Rosado]

This is an iHeart podcast.