Humble Baddies - Part 1: Boss Mommy Life + Pretty Privilege

Summary

Podcast Summary: Club Shay Shay

Episode: Humble Baddies - Part 1: Boss Mommy Life + Pretty Privilege
Release Date: July 29, 2025
Host: NFL Legend Shannon Sharpe
Guests: Alexis and Freddie

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Introduction

In this episode of Club Shay Shay, Shannon Sharpe sits down with Alexis and Freddie, two dynamic entrepreneurs and devoted mothers, to explore the multifaceted lives of "Humble Baddies." They delve into the challenges and triumphs of balancing motherhood with entrepreneurship, and the pervasive issue of pretty privilege in today’s aesthetically-driven society.

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Balancing Motherhood and Entrepreneurship

Key Discussion Points:

• Dual Roles: Alexis and Freddie discuss the demanding nature of managing both family responsibilities and growing a business. They highlight the emotional and logistical challenges that come with juggling these roles.

• Support Systems: Both emphasize the critical importance of having a robust support system, including family and professional help, to maintain balance and prevent burnout.

• Time Management: The conversation touches on effective time management strategies, such as leveraging technology (e.g., using Siri for scheduling) and strict organization to stay on top of both personal and professional commitments.

Notable Quotes:

• Alexis (05:30): "It's not easy. It's very hard. And I wake up and I have to get organized to make sure that I'm not missing a baseball game."
• Freddie (32:43): "To me, it would be feeling guilty that like I'm gone a lot or I am missing a game because I would be able to be more available."

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Pretty Privilege vs. Performance

Key Discussion Points:

• Perception vs. Reality: The hosts explore how society often rewards individuals based on their appearance rather than their skills or talents. They discuss personal experiences of being over or underestimated due to looks.

• Industry Standards: Alexis shares her experiences in male-dominated industries like military roles and government contracting, where her appearance led to misconceptions about her capabilities.

• Authenticity: Both advocate for authenticity and emphasize that true success comes from proving one's abilities beyond superficial judgments.

Notable Quotes:

• Alexis (13:29): "Looks may can open doors, but it's what you do. Looks may get you into it, but you have to show that you're capable for that job or position."
• Freddie (19:54): "Privilege is the thing. It's really in every industry. You just always have to prove yourself."

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Challenges of Being a "Boss Mommy"

Key Discussion Points:

• Criticism and Admiration: Alexis and Freddie discuss the mixed reactions they receive—from criticism for managing multiple roles to admiration from other women who look up to their ability to balance business and motherhood.

• Emotional Stress: They candidly talk about the emotional toll of their responsibilities and the stigma around discussing mental health and self-care.

• Unlearning Perfectionism: Both guests share their journeys of letting go of the need to be perfect mothers, focusing instead on being present and effective in their roles.

Notable Quotes:

• Freddie (48:02): "I had to really realize that, Alexis, you are doing a phenomenal job. We wanna do everything for our children."
• Alexis (50:13): "I had to unlearn that a perfect mom doesn't exist. As long as you're taking care of your kids, you're doing a good job."

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The Importance of Self-Care

Key Discussion Points:

• Personal Well-being: Emphasizing that taking care of oneself is crucial not only for personal health but also for effectively managing family and business responsibilities.

• Practical Self-Care: Sharing practical self-care routines, such as setting boundaries with technology, scheduling personal time, and seeking professional help when needed.

Notable Quotes:

• Freddie (48:02): "I make sure I take care of myself because I'm the most important factor for this family."
• Alexis (39:18): "Learning how to be selfish was the biggest thing. It's okay to be selfish because if you're not taken care of, the household ain't gonna fall apart."

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Overcoming Societal Expectations

Key Discussion Points:

• Breaking Stereotypes: Alexis and Freddie challenge societal norms that often pigeonhole women into specific roles, advocating for broader recognition of women's capabilities beyond their appearance or traditional roles.

• Empowerment: Encouraging women to embrace their multifaceted identities and to pursue their ambitions without feeling constrained by external judgments.

Notable Quotes:

• Alexis (22:04): "Looks can deceive you. When I was hooping, I was more of the feminine player because I also played volleyball. People would challenge my capabilities based on my appearance."
• Freddie (24:09): "Authenticity is what people are wanting and searching for. This is the time for us to really shine, to be ourselves."

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Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Alexis and Freddie reflecting on their journeys, the lessons they've learned, and their commitment to inspiring other women to navigate the complexities of motherhood and entrepreneurship with grace and resilience. They emphasize the importance of authenticity, self-care, and breaking free from societal expectations to create a fulfilling and balanced life.

Final Thoughts:

• Alexis: "People only see the flash, the picture that you show. They don't see the hard work, the bills, and the constant balancing act."
• Freddie: "We're phenomenal women, phenomenal wives, and mothers. We're good people, and that's the best blessing we can pass down."

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Key Takeaways

• Balance is Achievable: With strong support systems and effective time management, it's possible to excel in both motherhood and entrepreneurship.
• Beyond Looks: True value lies in one’s abilities and contributions, not just appearance.
• Self-Care is Essential: Prioritizing personal well-being is crucial for sustaining long-term success and happiness.
• Authenticity Matters: Embracing one's true self fosters genuine connections and personal fulfillment.

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This episode of Club Shay Shay provides an inspiring and honest look into the lives of women striving to succeed in multiple arenas, offering valuable insights and encouragement for listeners navigating similar paths.

Transcript

[Alexis]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Cherelle]

What's up guys? Welcome to the Agusto Papa podcast. The go to spot for everything. Musica Mexicana. We're proud Mexican Americans who live and breathe this music. We started this podcast to share and discuss our views of musica Mexicana. Whether you like to vibe to Peso Pluma, los alegres del Barranco are El Camacho or Pur Ivan Cornejo. When you get in your feels, then this podcast is for you. Well, actually Peso was supposed to be on Chinito's album. The song with Drake was supposed to be with Peso. Listen to Agusto Pa on the iHeartRadio app app podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Ding dong Las culturista's calling from YouTube. You heard that right. Las Culturistas now has its own YouTube channel. Check out full episodes, iconic interviews, visual bits and culture moments that'll change your life. All in stunning hd. So don't wait. Be sure to watch las culturistas on YouTube at YouTube.com Ding dong las culturistas calling from YouTube. If a baby is giggling in the backseat, they're probably happy. If a baby is crying in the backseat, they're probably hungry. But if a baby is sleeping in the backseat, will you remember? They're even there when you're distracted, stressed or not, usually the one who drives them. The chances of forgetting them in the back seat are much higher. It can happen to anyone. Parked cars get hot fast and can be deadly. So get in the habit of checking the backseat when you leave a message from Nitza and the Ad Council.

[Freddie]

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[Alexis]

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[Freddie]

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[Alexis]

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[Freddie]

New episodes drop every Tuesday on the exactly right network.

[Alexis]

Listen to this podcast will kill you.

[Freddie]

On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or.

[Alexis]

Wherever you get your podcasts. I get in my way Never out of my lane Feel like you want in the morning so what it's gonna be Baby squatter? We finna go deep Riding on a.

[Freddie]

Team Got what you need baby won't.

[Alexis]

You keep me company? Give me something to do when I.

[Freddie]

Get lonely I got something for you.

[Alexis]

When we get home if you let me put it down hey, hey, hey. What's Up. What's up? What's up?

[Freddie]

This is the last Monday of the month.

[Alexis]

Oh, it is. I haven't been keeping up with the days of the week. I've been so busy.

[Freddie]

Yes, it's been non stop. It is the last Monday of the month. We made it. We're here. Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Humble Baddies.

[Alexis]

Yes, I've been good. I've been good. I was gonna say our girl Portia couldn't make it today. She's handling her household goods and actually just living her best life.

[Freddie]

I love it. As we all should, you know, like, let's go.

[Alexis]

That's true. But I've been so busy. Oh, my goodness. It's been. I've been. It's truly a blessing. But I was able. I told you before, we opened up an office in Dallas and we did our grand open. We have about my team, the team lead, Freddie and Andre, are running that down there. And we have about a whole neighborhood on the golf course that we're listing, so.

[Freddie]

Oh, I love that.

[Alexis]

We had some fun neighborhood.

[Freddie]

That's. That's amazing. Congratulations. Yes.

[Alexis]

So shout out to my team lead, Freddie and Andre, down there. But I went down there, met all the agents. We had a big grand opening our first day. We toured all the homes that were just built, and the next day we played some golf, did a little turn up in Dallas. I'm liking Dallas. I'm thinking about, you know, relocating.

[Freddie]

Oh, what you mean?

[Alexis]

It's so beautiful, like relocating, like moving to Dallas.

[Freddie]

So wait a minute. Time out. Are you one of those ones that when you go somewhere and you start to fall in love with the area, the people, the vibes, and you're like, I might be able to. I might want to move here. I heard that with, you know, when y' all were in Africa lately.

[Alexis]

Well, you know, I. I can have multiple places. But seriously, my business here in Tampa, you know, we have. That's the main. I call it the main headquarters. It's running smoothly, so I have people in place. I'm the type to put people in leadership places to run the business while, you know, I go to the next and build a empire there, the next city, build an empire there. So my Charlotte office is good. My Tampa office is good. My Miami office is good. Dallas is good. And I could just move around and.

[Freddie]

And that's what you should do. I love that for you, actually.

[Alexis]

So, yeah, I have. I have a total of 88 agents, and they're killing it.

[Freddie]

That's beautiful.

[Alexis]

It's a Powerhouse.

[Freddie]

Yes, it is. But.

[Alexis]

But I had fun. I enjoyed it. I went out, we had a good time with the agents and the nightlife was good. The restaurants were amazing.

[Freddie]

Yeah. Dallas is beautiful. It is, it's vibrant. It has a lot of culture in its own way, being that it's Texas. So I get it. I like that rustic vibe that they have and the cowboy boots and the hats and the.

[Alexis]

Oh, I. Oh, yes, you. Where's my hat? I was blessed. I was blessed with that.

[Freddie]

The meat, the cows, everything.

[Alexis]

I gotta show it next time. But I, I got a nice cowboy hat made.

[Freddie]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. All the good stuff that, that good. Those good rustic vibes, I love that.

[Alexis]

And it's so many opportunities. That's what I love about.

[Freddie]

There's a lot of wealth in Dallas also. Like, like family wealth and very much. Like, like a hustle, ambition and just to really just keep the generational wealth going. That's what I have noticed about Dallas.

[Alexis]

Yeah. So one the listings that we did get in the community, most of the land is owned by a black, black family. And the, the father, he started building and now he's passing it to his daughter. She's. Yeah. About 35, 36 years old. And she has became a developer and now she's taken over building properties in that lot.

[Freddie]

So I love that.

[Alexis]

It was beautiful.

[Freddie]

That's good stuff.

[Alexis]

Yes. And then this weekend. Oh, I'm sorry. This weekend I'm planning, you know, taking my daughter on her final vacation. Got her a little pj. We're gonna go to Jamaica for the weekend.

[Freddie]

Beautiful.

[Alexis]

Before I send her off to college.

[Freddie]

A Mommy and me trip.

[Alexis]

Yes.

[Freddie]

Well, speaking of mommy and me trips, I just got off of one literally a few hours ago.

[Alexis]

Okay.

[Freddie]

Went to Cooperstown with Elijah, my youngest, who is my baseball player, my good friend, family friend. Cece Sabathia was inducted into the Major League Baseball hall of Fame. He is the first black left handed pitcher to be inducted.

[Alexis]

Okay.

[Freddie]

Period. In the National League and American League. So I'm so proud. It's been a blessing to have this family that I've seen their children grow up. They have four children like myself and my best friend is Amber Sabathia. Shout out to Amber. And so we were just there to support. Support her and support Cece and the family in this journey, which is just a big deal. Like that was my first time one going to Cooperstown, which is this quaint little town that is all the homes have been preserved. They have rules where you have to Keep the standard of, like, very much old upper New York, Hudson Valley homes. And so they keep the integrity. And this is their major. This twice a year is a big time for the mlb. But this is the biggest because you're inducting the five players. And so just the experience overall for Elijah, being a baseball player, to see this, that he can attain this, to see the journey, to see that, you know, this is New York, New York Yankee. The fact that there's so many things that have came from being in a career of being a baseball player living in New York. And since Elijah was born in New York, when we spent time there too, like, it's just a beautiful thing to see a black family being represented in Major League Baseball. And I'm wearing my shirt. I got some merch.

[Alexis]

Okay. Okay with the merch.

[Freddie]

Yes. You know, like, we. We gotta represent up in here.

[Alexis]

Okay.

[Freddie]

Yeah, I know.

[Alexis]

That's all right.

[Freddie]

No, but they're just good people. And, you know, this is rare, you know, that we have one of our friends that have made it. So shout out to the family. So it was great.

[Alexis]

Shout out to Cuzzo.

[Freddie]

That was a great mommy and son trip because you know how that gets. We gotta be able to spend. Because I travel differently with my children. I, you know, you love them differently. You have to spread your time. You have to. You have to, you know, discipline them differently. It's just all are different. So it was just good to have that time away from the other three, too. Just him.

[Alexis]

That's what Ariana got on to me the other day. She was like, mom, you don't. You don't discipline Serenity. You let her do whatever she want to do. When we was her age, we used to get toe up. You used to argue at us this. I was like, but she's a baby.

[Freddie]

Oh, see, there you go.

[Alexis]

She's the baby. The baby.

[Freddie]

See? Oh. I would say, like, to each of them, I'm like Asada, for example, my youngest daughter. I'm like, you're my favorite youngest daughter. You know, but we do certain things together, and then they do certain things together.

[Alexis]

So. Yeah, I feel like every parent had. Have a favorite child. No matter what they say, every parent has a favorite child.

[Freddie]

You think so?

[Alexis]

I know. Yes.

[Freddie]

Who's your favorite?

[Alexis]

So I have different. It's different categories. So just overall, my best friend is my. Is Ariana. And my favorite is probably denim.

[Freddie]

Denim. Oh.

[Alexis]

But they know that, though.

[Freddie]

And serenity. Serenity gets away with it.

[Alexis]

Serenity runs the household.

[Freddie]

That's hilarious. Yeah. But that sounds about right.

[Alexis]

Yes, yes, yes. So what we talking about today, girl? What's what? What's going on?

[Freddie]

So for our first segment, we have pretty privilege or performance. So we're gonna talk about pretty privilege versus performing. In a world where followers and filters dominate, are people being rewarded more for their appearance than their actual talent? From the casting couch to TikTok fame, the lines between talent and aesthetic appeal are blurrier than ever. While some people naturally benefit from being conventionally attractive, others are left wondering if their skills even matter anymore.

[Alexis]

This.

[Freddie]

Is this a social societal issue or just the way the game works? So, Cherelle, let's get this going. Have you ever been told you only get something because of your looks? And how does that make you feel?

[Alexis]

Of course. I've definitely been told, oh, you only got the job because of how you look. And at first, you know, I used to downplay it. Like, damn, was I not qualified? Like, you know, I believe it. I was young and I believed, like. But I knew that I had traits to. To get the job done. But actually, prime example. So when I first came into the military, two years in, I was offered a job to work for the division command sergeant major. It was an HR job, but it was the E5 position. I was E4, but I was promotable, and it was out of a few of us, and they were like, oh, you only got the job because of.

[Freddie]

Your looks, or whatever.

[Alexis]

So I felt like I had to prove a point and show it wasn't just my looks. Like, I don't want, you know, no one to care. Especially being a female in a predominantly male division. 82nd Airborne Division, that's the worst reputation that can go on saying, oh, you only got the job because of your looks. Because then people start taking, you know, spreading rumors and making things worse than what they were. So my thing was I had to prove a point. Like, I'm. I'm fit for this job. I'm great at pt. I'm. I'm just good at what I do. And I feel like some looks can open doors, but it's what you do. It's not just the looks. Looks may. Can get you into it, but you have to show that you're capable for that job or position.

[Freddie]

You're right. Where you basically can show what you. What you're capable of. You can. You can show them better than you could tell them. That's what I. That's something that I always say. So I agree with you on that for sure. You know, I just. I think in Being in the military too, you know, which is very male dominated. You have to, you know, and you're work harder. Yeah, exactly. Twice as harder.

[Alexis]

Definitely work harder. And it's, it's not for, like, you can't. You gotta have thick skin being in it. Like they're gonna say the most craziest things, but you just gotta brush it off. And people may say, yeah, looks, looks get you this, looks to get you that. But after so long, looks can only go so far. Like I said, you have to show what you can do.

[Freddie]

Right, right.

[Alexis]

To determine what's next, so. But I've also got rejected. I feel like because of my looks, I got overlooked on Jobs.

[Freddie]

Yeah, that's definitely how it could backfire for sure. It's almost like, you know, you're too pretty or you're too this. And they just assume that maybe you are, you know, you get, you getting everything. You're getting all the contracts because of your looks. And so they're like, nah, since she's doing this already, let me go all the other way.

[Alexis]

Exactly. What about you? Have you been in a situation where. So what happened to Chappaquiddick?

[Freddie]

Well, it really depends on who you talk to.

[Cherelle]

There are many versions of what happened in 1969 when a young Ted Kennedy drove a car into a pond and.

[Alexis]

Left a woman behind to drown.

[Freddie]

There's a famous headline, I think, in the New York Daily News, it's Teddy escapes blonde drowns. And in a strange way, Right, that.

[Alexis]

Sort of tells you the story really.

[Freddie]

Became about Ted's political future, Ted's political hopes. Will Ted become president?

[Cherelle]

Chappaquiddick is a story of a tragic death and how the Kennedy machine took control.

[Freddie]

And he's not the only Kennedy to survive a scandal.

[Cherelle]

The Kennedys have lived through disgrace, affairs, violence, you name it. So is there a curse? Every week we go behind the headlines and beyond the drama of America's royal family.

[Freddie]

Listen to United States of Kennedy on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Cherelle]

My Uncle Chris is definitely somebody worth talking about. He was the kind of guy that lived in a trailer with an ex con and a retired stripper, left loaded machine guns laying around, drank a bottle of whiskey a night, claimed he could kill a man with his bare hands, drove a garbage truck for a living, spoke fluent Spanish with a thick southern accent, and is currently buried in a crypt alongside the founding families of Panama. Listen to the Uncle Chris podcast to hear all about him and a whole lot more wild stories about adventure, romance, Crime, history and war intertwine as I share the tall tales and hard truth that have helped me understand Uncle Chris. This collection of stories will make you laugh. It'll make you cry. And if I do my job right, they'll let you see the world and your place in it in a whole new way. I can't wait to tell you all about Uncle Chris. Listen now to Uncle Chris on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Alexis]

Kelly Harnett spent over a decade in prison for a murder she says she didn't commit. I'm 100% innocent. While behind bars, she learned the law from scratch. He goes, oh, God. Harnett, jailhouse Lawyer. And as she fought for herself, she also became a lifeline for the women locked up alongside her.

[Freddie]

You're supposed to have your faith in God, but I had nothing but faith in her.

[Alexis]

So many of these women had lived the same stories. I said, were you a victim of domestic violence? And she was like, yeah, but maybe Kelly could change the ending. I said, how many people have gotten other incarcerated individuals out of here? I'm going to be the first one to do that. This is the story of Kelly Harnett, a woman who spent 12 years fighting not just for her own freedom, but her girlfriend's too. I think I have a mission from God to save souls by getting people out of prison. The girlfriends, jailhouse lawyer. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Cherelle]

What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are, you are a number, a New York state number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months.

[Alexis]

The first night was overwhelming and you.

[Freddie]

Don'T know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything.

[Cherelle]

Listen to shock incarceration on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Freddie]

I was trying to think, not necessarily. To me it would be more like stereotypical, just like put in the Box of like being a baby mama of an athlete, you know, just being put in these, these boxes of this is all she is. And so it's like we are actually more than we do, a lot more than most people just assume, you know. So I wouldn't say it's really purely privileged. It's more so like, yes, it's like pretty privileged. Plus, you know, monetary, you know, you can access and just fame and fortune and all these things and combining that you become a public figure and accessible and to the point where people want to start like, you know, making things harder for you, essentially. We're like our own.

[Alexis]

Our.

[Freddie]

We're our biggest critics on ourselves. But at the same time, we have these strangers and fans and people that are just like, you know, they got it like this. So let them, you know, they just see that you have access. They see that you have the front pass, the fast passes, the. No one ever says no, you know. Right. So it's a combination of all of that for me. And I feel like really since I was young into this, it's been half of my life, you know, that, you know that I've been pretty much being in these rooms of privilege, being in these rooms of being able to have business deals, being the first ones to look. Be looked at in investments and first rounds because they, you know, you look at it and it's like the wealth get wealthier, the rich get richer because they're in these rooms. You know what I mean? So you're always like, on whether it's even at a dinner or a casual like setting, like at a listening party or something like that, you're still in these rooms with exclusive people. So like you are. That's a privilege in itself, you know.

[Alexis]

Well, listen, I done got overlooked on different things. As I sit back and think about it, even like there's looks to certain things, like even playing basketball, you know, I used to play basketball and when I tried when I got stationed to Fort. It's Fort Liberty now, but Fort Bragg. I tried out for the base basketball team and they was looking at me like, who this girl is like, this ain't no this like a real team. They overlooked me. They picked their little teams or whatever. They overlooked me. But when I showed what I had, they was like, okay. They used to call me Lights Out. Lights out was my nickname.

[Freddie]

You a three point shooter, what was your position?

[Alexis]

I was a two guard.

[Freddie]

Two guard, okay.

[Alexis]

Yeah. I love that I had a mean double crossover.

[Freddie]

I know that's right.

[Alexis]

But, but the thing, but because of how I look. I look too girly. And most people think that, you know, if he plays sports, you got to be a tomboy, you gotta be this, you got to be that.

[Freddie]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

And that's not the case. So looks can. Another example.

[Freddie]

Looks can deceive you because I agree with you. Like when I was hooping too, I was more of the feminine player because I was like. Because I also played volleyball. We're in those tights. And then I would run track and then in those little shorts. So like. And I had body, you know, you've seen, you've seen it real, you know, muscle memory.

[Alexis]

I was thick.

[Freddie]

Yes. I would like pull up to the track or pull up to the gym and they're like, okay, well let's see what she gonna do, you know. And then now I'm giving them the business. I'm dominating, you know?

[Alexis]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Freddie]

So, you know, it can get looked.

[Alexis]

At it like that, but you're about to say something. No, the same, the same thing I have, I have so many examples. So I do government contracting as well. And I just recently got into a predominantly white male industry which is development. Sdvosb service Disabled veteran owned building VA clinics. And sometimes they have pre bid meetings where you have to go, you travel to whatever city you're bidding on for a certain project. So I come in there with my little, you know, business top on, with my little pants and my little heels. And you got these con, these CEOs of these big businesses coming in there, you know, and they thought I worked for the VA when it was time to do roll call or whatever. And I'm like, no, I'm Allure Management Solutions. I'm here to bid on this contract.

[Freddie]

So.

[Alexis]

But they, oh, people overlook you thinking that you can't be in that same field. Just it's. It's crazy.

[Freddie]

Or not as smart, not as capable. Right.

[Alexis]

None of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I love it though.

[Freddie]

Yeah. You know, it's good to always like do a silent stunt. You know what I mean? They doubted you and then you come around and like showing them like, you know what now what?

[Alexis]

Exactly.

[Freddie]

I did it even better. I mean, even being in the culinary space now, it's a male dominant industry. And so you have to hold your own. You cannot be sensitive. You have to be very much focused on who you are. And to me right now, just in the trend of everything, authenticity is what people are wanting and searching and yearning for. This is what we deserve because, you know, you gotta be yourself. We can't be trying to chase cloud and, you know, be cookie cutter and, you know, just like this right now is the time for us to really shine, to, like, really be ourselves, you know?

[Alexis]

That's true. That is so true.

[Freddie]

Yeah. Where are we now? But yeah, you know, privilege, privileges is the thing. And you're right. It's really. It really is in every industry, I feel like, you know.

[Alexis]

Yes, it is.

[Freddie]

You just always have to prove yourself.

[Alexis]

It's crazy. You have to prove it, but I feel like it's. They're starting to transition. I feel like people are starting to transition away from just hiring people for looks like looked hard for just pretty. Have. Have gotten a lot of people in a lot of trouble, especially when it comes to women and men. So you. You just have to be careful.

[Freddie]

You do. You do. Should we be holding brands and platforms accountable for pushing beauty over brilliance?

[Alexis]

I think beauty is the tool it'll get you in, but it takes more than that. I think brands shouldn't just rely on beauty unless it's just. You don't need anything. You're there for just pictures, or they need a certain. Assert, certain aesthetic for their brand.

[Freddie]

Yeah. Yeah. Because right now, everybody, that's how. That's the number one marketing tool is social media. And especially in the beauty industry, that's how they get their. Their marketing and their advertisement of, like, look, the more beautiful you are, the more opportunities you have. You have the hot guy, the hotter girl, you have the better job, you have the better vacations, the. The dating lives or whatever. Just all these things. It's a lot of pressure.

[Alexis]

It definitely is a lot of pressure.

[Freddie]

But.

[Alexis]

But I don't think. I think when it comes to beauty brands, you don't really require the. The this. What they're looking for. For. It's just looks. It doesn't require too much. Yeah. Especially when it comes to marketing.

[Freddie]

Yes.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Freddie]

Okay, well, let's move on. Yes. All right.

[Alexis]

Mommy hood meets boss life.

[Freddie]

It is, right?

[Alexis]

Can you really do both without burning out? And is it a balance, even a real thing? And is balance even a real thing? You know what's crazy? I get this all the time, and it's. It's so hard being a. The boss. The only person in the household that's bringing in the income, trying to take care of everything and still do mommy mode. Like, I get so, like, people who don't know what's going on. They criticize me so much. But I also get women who look up to me and support me because they're like Like, I just. Look, I admire you so much because, you know, you established all this, you have this going, and you're still doing what you have to do to make sure your kids are good.

[Freddie]

Well, to me, it's been a beautiful transition of my children, really seeing firsthand how I am navigating so much now. They can appreciate it, obviously, when they're young. You see, there's one now making noise, the youngest one. You know, it's just they get to see their mother in all these different hats that I wear, whether it's the nurse, it's their friend, it's their concert goer friend, or, you know, we vacation, we are learning, we do philanthropy, all these things. I feel like, you know, they get to see these many hats. They also get to see the other side of it. The boss, the one that's paying the bills, that's grinding, that's keeping the lights on. Because now that my children are older and they're starting to have their own cars and things that they have to maintain and they're learning that, you know, what mom and dad like, especially mom, you know, she was. She's holding it down and also navigating emotional stress and all those different, you know, things that we have to deal with too. They're seeing how I'm coping, they're seeing how I'm dating, they're seeing how I'm, you know, communicating. And it's just so much education in being all of the above that you can really show them like, this is the real world. Like, I'm tired. Like, you see these bags? We traveled today. You know, we were in. We were in the car at 2:30. We had to take two flights. You know, we were in the car for an hour and 40 minutes. Like, I handled that like the best project manager I could be. You know, I'm a scholar at this now. So it's like to navigate that, I'm the, you know, the itinerary planner, I'm the manager, the nurse, everything, you know, we the valet, we everybody, the chauffeurs, all these things. And so it's like they're seeing what real life is. So forget all the people out there that is just like, you know, criticizing all that. They only see the flash, the picture that you show. You know what I mean? They don't see that no one's there signing that check when them taxes come through or when that bill comes through or, you know, you ask, somebody's asking for their phone to be fixed and, you know, they need it, you know, so it's just all these things. So, you know, when all these bills.

[Alexis]

Where are you? Like, people just think. And that's what I love. I only show what I want to show. People only just see. Oh, they think I'm traveling, but really it's a business trip. That's, you know, that's our brand. I'm all over the place. But you're global. That's what.

[Freddie]

That's what that.

[Alexis]

But. But the thing about it is, and it's very like you, you stated on it. You have to. You have to have a schedule. You have to lay it out there. Because it's not easy. It's hard. It's very hard. And I wake up, I had to get organized to be able to be as successful as I am, to make sure that I'm not missing a baseball game.

[Freddie]

You're right. Being more organized, because that's huge. You're right. You don't want to miss nothing. We got a lot, but go ahead. I just want to.

[Alexis]

No, it's true. I have Siri. I say everything. I'm making sure I'm not missing a baseball game, making sure I'm not missing a call with the school. Ariana's going off to college. I have to make sure all her stuff is done. So I'm allocating. I'm combining both my work schedule with my personal life. And I never operated off of personal life, like off a personal calendar until I became an entrepreneur. So it's trying to balance both. But with the technology here that we have today, it makes it easier. Yes, it's busy. Yes. We have to go from one place to another, but it pays off.

[Freddie]

Absolutely. And you know, there's many categories of. You're spreading yourself thin, too. It's not easy. I know we might make it look easy, but like, you know, here we are with y' all on a Monday night, tapping in, you know what I mean? Like, kids have been fed, they're coming. You know what I'm saying? Like, we knocked that out. We are now working, things like that. So it's just a balance of that. And then let's add in, you know, ourselves to our self care. You certainly add that. And then you're starting to add family time and then a boo, you know, a spouse. You gotta cut that. You know, that pie is getting smaller and smaller them slices, you know, because you're really having to balance all of anything that you know, for your essence of who you are. And so like, you know, with the children, that's. This is being a Boss too. We, we have our friends, we got our romantic time and our social time and then we have to do our rest and therapy and you know, all these things. So work all these things. It's a lot. It's a lot, but we doing it.

[Alexis]

My next question, my question to you is what's the hardest part of trying to balance motherhood and entrepreneurship? What's your hardest part?

[Freddie]

To me it would be feeling guilty that like I'm gone a lot or I am missing a game because I would be able to be more available. But now I'm wearing so many hats and I'm elevated. I mean I was in school and now these, so many opportunities are happening and it's. The beautiful thing is my children are old enough like I put in when they were younger, you know, with the, those, those formative years of like rearing them. So now they know how to be self sufficient because now, you know, I'm talking about 20 year olds and 18, almost 19 year olds next month and 17 year olds, they're old enough now. So where I can really. Because I used to feel guilty about it, but now like the minute I back up from my garage and I'm leaving at my suitcase, I know like this is the beginning of so much for me. It's my time and so like I don't feel guilty about that now. You know, again, before it used to be, but now I'm just like, this is what I've been called to do. I'm now you know, going to be speaking on panels now. I need to be seen at these events, I need to be active and I'm the type of person that shows up for my people and you know, I'm going to show up for all the people that show up for me. And it requires a lot of energy too. But one thing about me, I'm going to balance it, you know, you know how I get. You look up and you won't hear from me for days because I didn't unplug. I done got recalibrated because I could be super social and then I'll get. I need to shut that. I gotta shut it down and like redirect my energy back to work, back to whatever I need to do. So yeah, you have to balance it. So I used to feel guilty, but not now because now everybody grown and I did well. Alexis, you did great. So I earned this time to now be able to move around because I always, I think about you real too because you got a little one. So it's like Girl, you were almost like, you know, working them down. And then here comes. I know.

[Alexis]

And then boom. God damn.

[Freddie]

Cause now it's like chasing after and going. But at least you are equipped for this already because you've been there, you know, you know what to expect. So you do have like a shortcut, low key.

[Alexis]

I do. And the good thing about it, she's at the age where she traveled with me as well or my dad. They both to come with me. So it works out perfect. But I would say my hardest part of trying to balance motherhood and entrepreneurship was. So what happened to Chappaquiddick?

[Freddie]

Well, it really depends on who you talk to.

[Cherelle]

There are many versions of what happened in 1969 when a young Ted Kennedy drove a car into a pond and.

[Alexis]

Left a woman behind to drown.

[Freddie]

There's a famous headline, I think in the New York Daily News. It's Teddy Escapes, Blonde drowns. And in a strange way, right, that sort of. The story really became about Ted's political future, Ted's political hopes. Will Ted become President?

[Cherelle]

Kappaquiddick is a story of a tragic death and how the Kennedy machine took control.

[Freddie]

And he's not the only Kennedy to survive a scandal.

[Cherelle]

The Kennedys have lived through disgrace, affairs, violence, you name it. So is there a curse? Every week we go behind the headlines and beyond the drama of America's royal family.

[Freddie]

Listen to United States of Kennedy on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Cherelle]

My Uncle Chris is definitely somebody worth talking about. He was the kind of guy that used Confederate flags as window curtains, lived in a trailer with an ex con and a retired stripper, left loaded machine guns laying around, drank a bottle of whiskey a night, claimed he could kill a man with his bare hands, drove a garbage truck for a living, spoke fluent Spanish with a thick Southern accent, and is currently buried in a crypt alongside the founding families of Panama. Listen to the Uncle Chris podcast to hear all about him and a whole lot more. This collection of stories will make you laugh, it'll make you cry. And if I do my job right, they'll let you see the world and your place in it in a whole new way. I can't wait to tell you all about Uncle Chris. Listen now to Uncle Chris on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Alexis]

Kelly Harnett spent over a decade in prison for a murder she says she didn't commit. I'm 100% innocent. While behind bars, she learned the law from scratch. He goes, oh, God. Harnett, jailhouse lawyer. And as she fought for herself, she also became a lifeline for the women locked up alongside her.

[Freddie]

You're supposed to have your faith in God, but I had nothing but faith in her.

[Alexis]

So many of these women had lived the same stories.

[Freddie]

I said, were you a victim of domestic violence?

[Alexis]

And she was like, yeah, but maybe Kelly could change the ending. I said, how many people have gotten other incarcerated individuals out of here? I'm gonna be the first one to do that. This is the story of. Of Kelly Harnett, a woman who spent 12 years fighting not just for her own freedom, but her girlfriend's too. I think I have a mission from God to save souls by getting people out of prison. The girlfriends, jailhouse lawyer listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Cherelle]

The summer of 1993 was one of the best of my life. I'm journalist Jeff Pearlman, and this is Rick Jervis. We were interns at the Nashville Tennesse Inn. But the most unforgettable part, our roommate, Reggie Payne from Oakland, sports editor and aspiring rapper, and his stage name, Sexy Sweat. In 2020, I had a simple idea. Let's find Reggie.

[Freddie]

We searched everywhere, but Reggie was gone.

[Cherelle]

In February 2020, Reggie was having a diabetic episode. His mom called 911. Police cuffed him face down. He slipped into a coma and died.

[Freddie]

I'm like, thanking you, but then I.

[Alexis]

See my son's not moving.

[Cherelle]

No headlines, no outrage, just silence.

[Freddie]

So we started digging and uncovered city officials bent on protecting their own.

[Cherelle]

Listen to finding Sexy Sweat on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Alexis]

Guilty. And the. The time not having everything organized when.

[Freddie]

I first got into it, that is key.

[Alexis]

And being able to. And learning how to be selfish, that was the biggest It's. And it's okay to be selfish because like I always say, if you're not taken care of and you're not, then your operation, the household ain't gonna be. It's gonna fall apart. So you're right. I think those were my biggest. Trying to learn how to, you know, take in, so. But I. I mean, it's amazing. You can't continue to dwell on it. You just have to figure out a way. Figure out a system that works best for you and your household and you can get it done. But if you're dwelling on a situation, like if I. If we both dwell on Us feeling guilty this whole time. We let so much time pass by where we don't get anything accomplished. So it's like, like, I. Damn if I do. Damn if I don't. Like, don't focus and dwell on this. You can make stuff happen and you just communicate and let. Let your kids know this is what I'm doing. I'll. I'm quick to tell mine because ain't nobody finna tell you your mama always gone. You're gonna know why I'm gone. You're gonna know where I'm at. You're gonna know why. And because you like this lifestyle that, you know, I'm giving to you. This is why I'm doing it. So. Yeah, people crazy.

[Freddie]

What you mean?

[Alexis]

They'll be, oh, yeah, mama. Hear these streets people. I done heard people say this to other kids, moms, and I know they work their behind off. Like, it's been single, you know, single moms out here busting their tail sometimes. It'll be your family members.

[Freddie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Alexis]

Because. Because they don't understand.

[Freddie]

They don't, but they don't.

[Alexis]

But that was the biggest thing. And I feel like, you know, I did a great job communicating and being able to just keep them up to date on everything that's going on.

[Freddie]

Love that.

[Alexis]

Yes. Let's see what kind of support system makes the biggest difference and what happens when you don't have one. Oh.

[Freddie]

Oh, I think so. That's another blessing, you know, the fact that my mom is right around the corner, again, that my children are older, but beforehand I did have help, and in addition to good family members, That's a real thing. When you say it takes a village, like, when I say that's a real thing. So, like, the. The beautiful privilege and blessing to be able to have hired help that is like, you know, this is what their passion is. They. You're paying to, like, monitor your children and take care of them. Like, that's a beautiful thing. And it really. I. It's a testament to finding good help, you know, if you're able to in a good. Or a good daycare, a good. A good sitter, a good, you know, babysitter, all these things, just because you have to have that balance. And, you know, honestly, I couldn't imagine raising four children like this. You know, the things that they've seen, the places they've been, the way they've been navigated and, you know, shown so much without help without even me being able to go. Like, that's another reason why I'm able To go. Like, my mom is here, you know, she's at my house and I have people at my house. And you know, the kids can. Nothing, nothing changes. There's still gonna be food. They're still gonna be going to this practice, they're still gonna go to this game. They still have this play date. Everything keeps running even if I'm not here. And that does take, you know, commitment. But I cannot imagine not having help. And most people don't have help. So it's a beautiful thing that, you know, I'm privileged that I was able to have that even. Even with a night nurse or, you know, nighttime nannies and people who care for these kids. Like, I didn't have that. But my mom was able to pick up and just be right there. And what a beautiful thing that I'm able to have her. And I know she's watching, so shout out to my mama. Mama. But like, it's trickled down to her grandkids now where she. I don't even have to think about my kids, you know. Cause one, she's gonna discipline them, she gonna feed em and she gonna love them and she gonna spoil them. So they really. I could really go be on a panel and be happy and be vibrant and be myself. I can really go be in the kitchen and have a project and execute that I can go and, you know, go be on a beautiful date somewhere away and not worry about my kids. And no one interrupted me. Like, so it's just all these different things I'm able to do because I do have that support system. And whether it's family, a friend, a co worker, somebody you trust, what a blessing that they can pick your kids up from school. They can, you know, you can carpool, they can go get some groceries for you if you sick, they can take over for you. Like, that is my number one thing, is to get that help. And I just can't imagine not having it. You want that help because even if it's crying on someone's shoulder, like just taking a break, because it can get overwhelming. So I just can't imagine not having a support system.

[Alexis]

Yeah, it definitely can. I'm truly grateful for both of my parents, you know.

[Freddie]

Amen.

[Alexis]

My daddy and my mom, they are like a blessing to have. They're both retired and I can call them. They'll be here within the next hours, jumping on a flight if I need them. So truly grateful. It's just hard. I have people, you know, single moms reaching out to me, saying. And it's hard now it's not like it used to be back in the days where you can have your neighbor. Like, I remember growing up, our family used to take turns carpooling. It's so. It's not like that anymore. So it's so hard to even try to give advice.

[Freddie]

You don't even know our neighbors.

[Alexis]

Exactly. I don't even know my neighbors. Never met them.

[Freddie]

A date. You say it like that.

[Alexis]

You're right.

[Freddie]

You could be like, I'll be back in a couple hours. She's over there by herself for a minute or something. Like, they.

[Alexis]

It's. It's not like it's hard to trust people.

[Freddie]

It is.

[Alexis]

It's so hard.

[Freddie]

It truly is.

[Alexis]

It's hard to give advice. Like when mothers tell me, like, how do you do it? What. What's some advice you can give me is I can't give no advice if you don't have a support system.

[Freddie]

It's hard. It is hard. And especially that experience.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Freddie]

Of having it.

[Alexis]

Yeah. But I'm truly grateful to be able to have, you know, that support system. And even with my daughter. She's 19, and she's. She's just great. Like, anything with serenity. She's here. She. If. Or if, you know, denim need to go to baseball practice, she's driving. He practiced all the way out. It's an hour and a half drive. And sometimes, you know, she see that I'm working hard. She's like, mom, don't worry. I'll take him to practice. Take him to practice, Take them to some. Some of his games. It's just. It's a blessing. The. The people that I have around me that helps out.

[Freddie]

It's so cute because I. I always see your father with serenity, you know?

[Alexis]

Yes. That's his best friend. Yes. Freak and frat, left to right.

[Freddie]

Like, when I'm just like, you know, she know how to work them too.

[Alexis]

Oh, yeah.

[Freddie]

She know how to work him.

[Alexis]

She. She worse than me. I'd be like, you know how. How the parents be like, call it the. Your children in here to go get the remote. And it'd be arm reach. She do the same thing to. I said, girl, where you learn this from? I feel sorry for whoever you have to do. Whoever have to deal with you when you get older. Papa.

[Freddie]

Yeah?

[Alexis]

Hand me my charger. Oh, the charger be arm reach. He'll be like, no, you get it? She busts out crying.

[Freddie]

I said, girl, you are too spoiled.

[Alexis]

It's crazy. That girl, she is a mess. She has her Daddy personality. I don't. Oof. I feel sorry for whoever.

[Freddie]

Isn't that funny? Like it's funny how our children really do take on some of our personalities in both parents too, you know? Yeah, they get a little bit of that. Because even that I see it in my kids too. I'm like, yep, that's your dad. Yep. There, there he is, right?

[Alexis]

Yes.

[Freddie]

Those mannerisms or those like.

[Alexis]

It's so crazy.

[Freddie]

I know where you got that from your daddy.

[Alexis]

Even from your daddy's side, the physical appearance and how they walk, how they act, everything is crazy. I love it though.

[Freddie]

I mean, we wouldn't change it for anything.

[Alexis]

Like.

[Freddie]

No, let's be real.

[Alexis]

What's something you had to unlearn about being a perfect mom to be. To become a present one? Ooh.

[Freddie]

To me it was really like giving myself grace. I had to really realize that, Alexis, you are doing a phenomenal job. We wanna do everything for our children. We wanna give them everything. And because of everything we did to speak of, you know, a little bit ago, we're wearing so many hats. And so I've really now learned to prioritize. Alexis. I'm going to go to the spa, I'm gonna take the trip, I'm gonna go on the date, I' to the beach, I'm going to go have that meal, I'm going to go take care of myself. Because I know one thing, if I'm not right, mentally, emotionally, physically, and I'm unhealthy, then all this shit going down, it's just I invented that binder, that life binder for the tribe of Lex. And it's a tight ship, you know what I mean? So I just make sure I take care of myself. Because I'm the most important factor for this family. I know that and I feel that. And if anything were to happen to me that I couldn't, that was almost self inflicted, that is just harmful for my children. You know, if there's things I can prevent by balancing my life and taking care of myself and praying and meditating and like having that girl time and talking to someone and you know, again, making sure I feel loved and appreciated, I'm gonna go insane. I know what I need. I need a book sometimes. I need a night out with my girls sometimes. I need that good glass of wine. I need that bath. I need actually to sleep in. That's another thing I've been trying to prioritize, like, you know, not responding back to texts quickly and those dings, those alerts. Cause I'm Like, I'm living off of, like, alerts of other people in my house. How disrespectful is that to my, you know, my funds? So I'm, like, turning it off, and then I. When I'm able to return the call, the text, the message, then I can. Then I will. You know, obviously, it'll be in a timely manner of, like, you know, nothing's getting lapsed. But it's not important right now. To me, I'm the most important factor right now.

[Alexis]

I think my biggest thing I had to unlearn that. That a perfect mom doesn't exist. So once I understood that, like, there's no such thing as a perfect mom. And as long as you're making sure that you're taking care of your kids, you know, they have a roof over their head, they have food and, you know, food in the house, they have lights, they have shelter, and you're able to give them the necessities that they need you doing a good job.

[Freddie]

That's all facts.

[Alexis]

So it's. It's the. The biggest thing is, you know, we used to question, am I good enough? Like, I don't want to make this mistake.

[Freddie]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

But I look back when I was a child, and, you know, I used to wonder why I didn't have this or why I didn't have that. But now, as I'm older, my mom, in my head, she was an amazing mother because she worked her ass off to get me. I'm the reason who. I'm the person I am today because of my mom. She, you know, she prayed with us, she took us to church. She. She left. Left a. A great guide for me to be a great mother.

[Freddie]

Yes. And I second that. I second that with you. I. I praise my parents, too, because I got to see both of them in the household, like, doing their part for my sister and I. And I tell them all the time, like, y' all did a great job. Like, wow, you know, I just attained to be parents like you guys, because you did a hell of a job with me, and you did a hell of a job with my sisters. So it's like, we are phenomenal women. We're phenomenal wives. We're mothers. We're good people. And to what you were saying, Sherrelle, like, that's the best, beautiful blessing you can pass down, because now here we are, the same bloodline, and that's another currency of generational wealth, is now being able to take care of these kids because we were seen and shown it properly.

[Alexis]

Right.

[Freddie]

You know we know the opposite of it. So we're like, this is not the direction we. Because we see it. And we're like, no, this is not where we need to be going because this is not what I saw. You know, you like, this ain't right. So I think. I think it's a beautiful thing. So I agree with you 100%. We're blessed.

[Alexis]

Truly blessed.

[Cherelle]

What's up, guys? Welcome to the Agusto Papa podcast, the go to spot for everything Musica Mexicana. We're proud Mexican Americans who live and breathe this music. We started this podcast to share and discuss our views of musica mexicana. Whether you like to vibe to Peso pluma los alegre del varanco are El Camacho or Pur Ivan Cornejo. When you get in feels, then this podcast is for you. Well, actually, Peso was supposed to be on Chinito's album. The song with Drake was supposed to be with Peso. Listen to Agusto Pa on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Ding Dong Las culturistas calling from YouTube. You heard that right. Las Culturistas now has its own YouTube channel. Check out full episodes. Iconic interviews, visual bits and culture moments that'll change your life, all in stunning hd. So don't wait. Be sure to watch las Culturistas on YouTube at YouTube.com lasculturistas Ding dong la sculturista's calling from YouTube.

[Freddie]

How serious is youth vaping?

[Cherelle]

Irreversible lung damage serious.

[Freddie]

1 in 10 kids vape serious, which.

[Cherelle]

Warrants a serious conversation from a serious parental figure like yourself. Not the seriously know it all sports dad or the seriously smart podcaster. It requires a serious conversation that is best had by you. No, seriously, the best person to talk to your child about vaping is you. To start the conversation, visit talkaboutvaping.org, brought to you by the American Lung association and the AD Council.

[Freddie]

If you've ever wondered what diseases medieval pee tests and cocktails have in common.

[Alexis]

You'Re in the right place. On our show, this Podcast Will Kill youl.

[Freddie]

We explore the wild world of diseases, their history, biology and impact.

[Alexis]

Today, vaccines are, in part, a victim of their own success. Success. They have been so effective in preventing disease and death that we take them for granted.

[Freddie]

New episodes drop every Tuesday on the exactly right network.

[Alexis]

Listen to this podcast will kill you.

[Freddie]

On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or.

[Alexis]

Wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast.