Humble Baddies Part 1 - Michelle Obama on Divorce Rumors + Luxury Black Girl TikTok

Summary

Club Shay Shay Podcast Summary: Humble Baddies Part 1 - Michelle Obama on Divorce Rumors + Luxury Black Girl TikTok

Release Date: April 15, 2025
Hosts: Ashley Nicole, Shirelle Rosado, and Alexis Welch Stoudemire
Podcast: Club Shay Shay by iHeartPodcasts, The Volume, and Shay Shay Media

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Introduction

In this episode of Club Shay Shay, hosts Ashley Nicole, Shirelle Rosado, and Alexis Welch Stoudemire dive deep into two significant topics: the viral trend of Luxury Black Girl TikTok and the recent divorce rumors surrounding Michelle Obama. The conversation navigates through personal experiences, societal perceptions, and the empowering versus pressuring aspects of luxury representation among Black women.

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Luxury Black Girl TikTok: Empowerment or Pressure?

Defining Luxury Black Girl TikTok

The hosts explore the Luxury Black Girl TikTok phenomenon, describing it as more than just showcasing aesthetics and designer bags. According to Shirelle Rosado at [10:15], it embodies a "whole vibe and a lifestyle movement that shows black women living in ease, peace, and abundance." This movement emphasizes self-care, solo trips, and embracing a lifestyle that exudes confidence and prosperity.

Empowering Representation

Alexis Welch Stoudemire highlights the motivational aspect of the trend at [10:55], stating, "If you can see it, you could do it." The visibility of Black women thriving in luxury spaces serves as inspiration, especially for younger generations. Shirelle adds at [12:18], "It's beautiful to see more of us Black women being able to travel abroad," emphasizing the importance of representation in spaces traditionally dominated by white individuals.

The Duality: Empowerment vs. Unrealistic Expectations

However, the conversation acknowledges potential downsides. Ashley Nicole expresses concerns at [12:52], "I do think it does put pressure on other women to keep up, like keeping up with the Joneses." She points out that while the trend showcases success, it may inadvertently set unrealistic standards for those who cannot afford such lifestyles.

Balancing Perception and Reality

Shirelle addresses the motivation versus pressure dichotomy at [12:52], stating, "I feel like when I watch someone traveling somewhere that I haven't been, and it's beautiful. It just gives me motivation to work harder." On the flip side, Alexis notes the economic strain at [16:25]: "With this administration right now, though, these prices going up on everything, it's just getting ready to be a tough time."

Notable Quotes:

• Shirelle Rosado [10:15]: "So basically, it's more than just aesthetics and designer bags. It's a whole vibe and a lifestyle movement that shows black women living in ease, peace, and abundance."
• Ashley Nicole [12:52]: "I do think it does put pressure on other women to keep up, like keeping up with the Joneses."

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Michelle Obama on Divorce Rumors: Choosing Self-Rediscovery

Addressing the Rumors

The hosts transition to discuss Michelle Obama's recent statements addressing divorce rumors. The conversation centers on Michelle's emphasis on self-rediscovery rather than confirming any marital issues. This shift marks a significant moment as Michelle prioritizes her personal growth post-White House.

Societal Expectations and Double Standards

Ashley Nicole articulates the double standard faced by women when choosing self-care over relational closeness at [40:54]: "I hate that she had to say this only because she is doing what she wants to do." The hosts debate why society often jumps to conclusions about divorce instead of understanding a woman's need to prioritize herself.

Support for Michelle Obama's Autonomy

Both Shirelle and Alexis express strong support for Michelle Obama's decision. Shirelle underscores the importance of self-care at [41:31], "You have to take care of yourself first. So when you sacrifice that, you start seeing a bad pattern." Alexis echoes this sentiment, highlighting the balance between personal and relational growth at [43:08]: "They have been through something that nobody could imagine... it's your turn, babe."

Challenging the Superwoman Myth

The discussion evolves into challenging the superwoman trope. Ashley Nicole at [44:55] states, "I don't subscribe to that superwoman idea... I'm only human. I'm not superhuman." Alexis adds at [46:31], "It is a stigma of, like, you should take care of yourself and."

Notable Quotes:

• Ashley Nicole [40:54]: "I hate that she had to say this only because she is doing what she wants to do."
• Shirelle Rosado [41:31]: "You have to take care of yourself first."
• Ashley Nicole [44:55]: "I don't subscribe to that superwoman idea... I'm only human."

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The Balance Between Luxury, Relationships, and Self-Care

Compatibility in Relationships

The hosts delve into the topic of compatibility in luxury-driven lifestyles. Alexis emphasizes the necessity of partners aligning with personal values at [22:38], "Knowing who your partner is... it's about being compatible 100% and also communication."

Respecting Standards vs. Being High Maintenance

A significant point of discussion is whether men respect women with high standards or label them as high maintenance. Alexis asserts at [25:02], "Do I think the ones who don't have it are calling us high maintenance?" reinforcing that such labels often stem from a lack of understanding or inability to meet those standards.

Navigating Financial Independence

Shirelle and Alexis discuss the pitfalls of financial dependence on partners who spoil them, labeling it unsustainable and potentially abusive. Shirelle cautions at [32:22], "What happens when you get older... you've been so co-dependent on these men."

Notable Quotes:

• Alexis Welch Stoudemire [22:38]: "Knowing who your partner is... it's about being compatible 100% and also communication."
• Alexis Welch Stoudemire [25:02]: "Do I think the ones who don't have it are calling us high maintenance?"

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Concluding Thoughts: Empowerment Through Self-Prioritization

The episode wraps up with a strong emphasis on self-love and prioritizing personal well-being. The hosts advocate for setting boundaries, maintaining personal freedom, and encouraging authentic self-expression. Alexis concludes at [51:13], "And a partner that sees you, you know, just knows who you are and vice versa."

Final Takeaways:

• Luxury Black Girl TikTok serves as both an empowering movement and a potential source of pressure.
• Michelle Obama's focus on self-rediscovery highlights the importance of personal growth within and beyond marital relationships.
• Balancing luxury and relationships requires mutual understanding, respect, and the prioritization of self-care.

Notable Final Quote:

• Alexis Welch Stoudemire [51:13]: "And a partner that sees you, you know, just knows who you are and vice versa."

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Key Insights and Conclusions

• Representation Matters: Showcasing Black women in luxury roles inspires and motivates, challenging traditional gatekept luxury spaces.
• Navigating Societal Expectations: There's a need to balance societal pressures with personal empowerment, ensuring that self-care and autonomy are prioritized without unnecessary stigma.
• Relationship Dynamics: Successful relationships in luxury contexts hinge on compatibility, mutual respect, and the ability to maintain individual identities and freedoms.

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This episode of Club Shay Shay masterfully intertwines discussions on contemporary social trends and high-profile personal narratives, offering listeners a nuanced exploration of empowerment, representation, and the complexities of modern relationships.

Transcript

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[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

When you let me put it down. Love that intro.

[Ashley Nicole]

Welcome back baddies. We are back with another episode of the Humble Baddies podcast. I'm your girl, Ashley Nicole.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And I'm Shirelle Rosado.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

And I'm Alexis Welch Stoudemire. And we are the humble Maddie. What's up, lady?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Hey. Hey.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

What's going on, everybody? Well, I just.

[Shirelle Rosado]

We're planning for a wedding.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

What? Who is? Who's getting married?

[Shirelle Rosado]

It's a well known Nigerian princess. Her mom was on Housewives of Lagos and now she's an actor. It's her daughter. So we're going to support her daughter while she embraced this new life of marriage.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Beautiful.

[Ashley Nicole]

We're out here in Nigeria living our best. Nyjah Queen lives right now. Enjoying it out here. What you been up to, Lex?

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

I had to send off my oldest son to prom. He just asked his date on Wednesday and prom was on Friday. So we had to get things together real quickly. Went to the mall with him and just got him right and sent him off. So that's two down. I have two left, so I'm crossing them off the list. So that was the dope thing. And then I was named Miami's one of Miami's most stylish residents. So I'm one of the COVID I'm on the COVID article in Miami Lifestyle magazine. So I'm representing for the ladies. Black women holding it down, you know, so that was. That was awesome to have that acknowledgment and really just to be seen. So celebrating that a little bit. Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole]

Congrats on that.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Ashley Nicole]

Did they have a cover party or something like that?

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

They. They are getting ready to have one next week, but I'll be unavailable to. To attend, so I won't be able to go. But I think they only. It was maybe 10 of us that got selected. There were couples, and Pharrell and I were the only black folks holding it down, you know, for everybody in Miami, we got to represent, so I'm glad I was chosen. So I was happy to. Happy to, you know, show up.

[Shirelle Rosado]

That's amazing. I'm prepping for our next month. Spent crazy money on everything, so I'm right behind you, Lex.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Well, it's different for the girls because it's like with Deuce, I mean, he was just like, yeah, I'm going to prom on Friday. I get my tux pressed, and let's go get some new shoes. That was it. I'm like, this is. I don't like people coming over. Yeah. I was like, are people coming over? What we gonna do? Should we. Should I host something? He's my. Nah, we just gonna meet here. Then we gonna. We gonna go somewhere else with a Ray. I mean, it's a month. It's a month in advance. It's hair appointments, it's nails. It's so much more maintenance. So. Good luck. Good luck.

[Shirelle Rosado]

It's already been a headache. We've been. We ordered her dress in January and it's just been, wow.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Have you seen, like, these prom puzzles and the whole. The prom. Over the top proms and, like, the car rentals and just the trains and all these things. There's so much that's going into it and, like, the little event, like, don't they. Are you going to host something? So, like, send her off. Like, are you going to do all of that, too?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Anything? She better get a JP I'm not hosting nothing else. I'm tired of spending. This girl is so bougie.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

She.

[Shirelle Rosado]

For her birthday, she took a flight. She went on vacation, her and her friends. He had a birthday overseas. Then she came back. She wanted to spend time in Miami. We got her yacht. She turned up on her yacht with her friends. Had the whole boat decorated. She is. It's too much. I'm ready for her behind to go to college.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

It does. It does. Thankful you asked. You have boys?

[Ashley Nicole]

I got boys. Thank God.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Yes.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I'm ready to splurge back on myself now a little.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole]

Okay.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Yeah, the ladies are definitely, you know, just. It's a lot more maintenance. And speaking of ladies, y'all see the all female crew that just went up to space and back?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah. That's scary.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I don't know if I could do it. Would y'all make the video?

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Really? I saw that. Would y'all ever go. You would never go to space.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Actually, I watched it live. I was watching it on, seeing it. I seen them screaming. It was scary. I don't think I would do that. I jumped out of airplanes and I did everything else, but I don't know if I could do that.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Sign me up. I don't know.

[Ashley Nicole]

I don't know if I need to do that.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Sign me up.

[Ashley Nicole]

It feels some people were unnecessary because I'm sure it costs a lot of money to go there. You know what I mean?

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Well, I mean, yeah, I think they were saying it's just 150k per seat or something like that. So we're going to see this more often, I'm sure.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah. Well, kudos to those ladies. I saw Gayle King. She was the only one looked a little scared, you know, when they rang the bell, getting on, everybody else looked like they were excited to go. She looked a little scared.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I was very curious. It's the what if.

[Ashley Nicole]

Jeff Bezos wife.

[Shirelle Rosado]

It's a what if. When I was watching what's Jeff Bezos? Fiance name?

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Lauren.

[Ashley Nicole]

Lauren, I think Sanchez.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yes. She was like. They were like, what if? You know, basically, if something would have happened, she was like, well, I hope this would. If something tragic would have happened. We supposed to be getting married, and this is not, you know, if something was to happen. But she was. She was happy. She was excited. I was like, I could not do that. Like, that's just something. Because I don't know what could happen, and I'm not in control of it, so I'll pass.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

I feel like my energy is more like anything can happen. Walking outside your house or really inside your house at this point, you know, it's something that I think I would do 100%. So sign me on up. I'm gonna go do it.

[Ashley Nicole]

Okay, girl. Well, let us know.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Well, you let us know.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Future.

[Shirelle Rosado]

In the future.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

In the future. I'm just curious. I'm a little nerd when it comes to that kind of stuff, you know?

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah, I'd rather we do something else with that money. I feel like there's so much other things that we can do. I watched an interview with Katy Perry, and she was talking about it, and it just felt very, like, out of touch. It just seemed very unnecessary. Very, like.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

I don't know.

[Ashley Nicole]

It was just given rich and out of touch, in my opinion.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

I thought it was cool that they were all like. It was tons of females. But it's funny. The shape of the spaceship is hilarious. To me, it looked like a giant penis.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Something.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

It did. Have you seen it?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

All these ladies in there taking off.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And you're right, they land.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

It's only F and M. They definitely.

[Ashley Nicole]

Go down in history.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Yes.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yes to those ladies.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Kudos to those ladies for going. You know, I take my hat off to him. That's something I just could not do. I'm sorry. Love y'all, though. Thank y'all for showing y'all experience live on tv. Y'all are the humble babies of this show.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Yes, they are.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Let's get into it. The luxury black girl TikTok.

[Ashley Nicole]

Okay. I'm here for it. I love anything. Luxury. Dealing with black girls. What's that about?

[Shirelle Rosado]

So basically, it's more than just aesthetics and designer bags. It's a whole vibe and a lifestyle movement that shows black women living in ease, peace, and abundance. I feel like that's me right now. I just. I'm just not broadcasting.

[Ashley Nicole]

And get your black luxury. Your black girl luxury. Yes. We need to see it.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

The people want to see it.

[Shirelle Rosado]

You got to think about it. Self care, routines, solo trips. I don't take solo trips. If I go on a trip, I have to go. I'm not a solo person. Champagne. Cheers.

[Ashley Nicole]

Okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Brunches. Silk rope. Listen, we. We have. We have. We have chefs and drivers on call. I feel like we're living that black girl luxury. We deserve.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

We deserve in whatever capacity that is. You know, whatever. If it's a candlelit dinner or you splurge in on something that you want, it is. It is drawing that bath. I definitely love a solo trip. It's therapeutic for me. So I'm my best self after I tap in and do something that I love, you know, I feel like we deserve and really just everyone is in general self love and it's time. So we. It's good to be motivated, too. I feel like, you know, we need to see. We need to see excellence in all different realms, whatever that looks like, you know, I love to see the girlies pop. They shit. Wait. I do, you know, live that life. Luxury. And it flares and enjoy.

[Shirelle Rosado]

That's true. So the. The black women are Saying I deserve softness, wealth, rest and beauty and I don't have to hustle myself into the ground to earn it. It's also about representation. For years, luxury spaces were gate kept and mostly shown through a white lens. Now black women are claiming that they showing that we belong at five star hotels, wellness retreats, high fashion and luxury homes too, without the apology. But there's been some debate. Is it empowering or is it putting pressure on women to look rich?

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Oh.

[Shirelle Rosado]

What do y'all think? I feel like it's very important.

[Ashley Nicole]

I mean, I think there's two, two sides of it. I think it can be empowering. I think it's beautiful that we get to see like black women in that representation of living in luxury and living a soft life. I think that's beautiful. We don't, we didn't get to see that. And social media is a platform now that we can like really look into people's lives and see, you know, how they're living. So I think it's great. But on the other side of it, I do think it does put pressure on other women for us to keep up, like keeping up with the Joneses, you know what I mean? Like trying to one up each other and you know, just do what somebody else is doing. And I think that it's easy to get caught up in it because, you know, of course everybody's showing like their highlight reels on social media, but they're not showing, you know, what they had to do to get it. And some of these women, I feel like they not always doing positive things to get to what they're doing. Like, let's be real about it, like some of these women are. And I heard some stories, the girls going to like Dubai and you know, saying, and they, they are showing who, whose boat they on. They not showing who's, you know, paying for everything, you know, okay, so you know, it's, it's, it's two sided. Like yes, we love it for them, get it how you live, but you know, just know that everything on social media isn't always what it seems. And you know, you shouldn't put pressure on yourself to have something that the next person has, you know. And also I think it's important to romanticize whatever you have going on. Like luxury for you might be something different. Luxury to me is, you know, being in my backyard, being able to just lay out there for, you know, for hours and then just enjoying nature. To me, that's luxury. You know, living in Florida to me is a luxury because you Know, first of all, living in Florida is expensive, but we have beautiful weather, we have beaches there, you know, so it's not always about, you know, material things or, you know, going places. It's finding those little things at home that you feel like are luxury and romanticizing those things. Because once you start romanticizing and wanting what other people get, that's when I feel like it's not so much empowering anymore. Now it's, you know, it's something else.

[Shirelle Rosado]

But I just feel like the mindset of people who. Who look at it like saying, you know, or in an envious way, then they need to change their mindset. I'm all about, you know, us showing. Showing what we worked hard for because everybody's not. Some people are not blessed to have it, but to be able to experience. I feel like it when I watch someone traveling somewhere that I haven't been, and it's beautiful. It just give me motivation to work harder to if I want to go there. So I feel like for me, it's just motivation. And I love to see it because. And I'm. I love to see it so much that I'm. I'm actually showing my kids, I'm sure, because it wasn't shown to us. So to be able to experience it, to be able to see it, to be able to see more of us black women being able to travel abroad, it's just beautiful.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Yeah, I appreciate it. I'm with you guys both of the whole empowering thing. But it does. It can get a little tricky just because it is Instagram. It is an instant moment that you showcase. But at the end of the day, people are creatives, people are influencers, and it is motivational to where you could, like, hey, you should come travel and do this here. You should go to this restaurant or you should do this activity. It is education at the palm of your hands. If you're able to afford it. And it is luxury, it is a blessing living here in Miami. We get to have the weather, the beach, these beautiful restaurants, but it is expensive. And it's like, I agree with you also, rel that you work hard, you get to play hard. So this is very much given that we deserve. You know, with this administration right now, though, these prices going up on everything, it's just. It's getting ready to be a tough time just with the basics for everyday people. So luxury will change, I feel like, in a little bit it's more like, is it home cooked meals? Is it, you know, candlelit dinners? It's Going to be an adjustment period for sure, just because prices are going up with a lot of things right now. So it could be a little taxing on everybody emotionally. Economy, like, just very much. You know, it can be. It's going to be tough, you know, just really trying to adjust to all of this. So, you know, I love to encourage. I love that we are encouraging women and. And men just. And families to really see what else is out there. So kudos to y'all ladies.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah, I love to see, like, the black trash.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Do you think luxury content and. Oh, I'm sorry, what'd you say, Ash?

[Ashley Nicole]

Go ahead. No, I was just saying, like, the black travel creators, like, the black girls, I see, like, going all over different places and not like the typical places that we see. I love following those pages. Like, those are one of my favorites to watch, because it's like, look at this black girl all the way over there in no man's land. Okay. I'm like, I love that. I love seeing that.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yes, definitely. Do you think luxury content empowers black women to dream bigger or does. Does it track them, trap them to unrealistic expectation?

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Well, I think it's about dreaming bigger. Like, you can see it. If you can see it, you could do it. And I feel like the more that we are showing, you know, just content, are you showing, like, hey, I did this. It's safe, it's affordable. I did it this way. There's alternates of doing things a certain way or solo traveling couples. It's motivational. A group, you know, you know, getting the latest together. Like, you know, you see what we made it out, the group chat, those kind of things, you know, is definitely motivational, you know, so it's just like, I love to see it. I want us to be. To be able to see an example, especially somebody that looks like me or like my children. Like, hey, you can attain to do this as well. A lot of it is, you know, we compare ourselves to celebrities and, you know, all the entertainers and things like that. But I think it's good when people can relate to us in a certain way to where they're like, look, you know, I can get there too. I can be able to travel and do X, Y and Z because they want to see it. You know, it's motivational. So I think it has gotten more creative. I applaud it. I love it. It's a space for us everywhere.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah, I definitely agree. Would you date a man who didn't fit into your luxury lifestyle, even if he Brought you peace and stability. Oh, we. We kind of talked about this, Ashley.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah, we did.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Tell me y'all thought. What did y'all talk about?

[Ashley Nicole]

Honestly? Okay, so our conversation, we were talking about combat compatibility and. Sorry, my lashes. Compatibility in relationships. And, you know, I'm all the way in Africa and, you know, this is probably like my. Was my second time coming to Africa in the last, what, month and a half? I've been on numerous trips. And, you know, people want to know, like, how is that, like, you, you know, feels at home with the kids. And so we were talking about compatibility. And Phil, he is not, like, he's not the guy who wants to get up and travel everywhere, but he knows that I am. And so I feel like, you know, it's not that. First of all, Phil is very bougie. So when he does travel, he is all about luxury. But if we're talking about, you know, just traveling as a luxury and, you know, that being my thing that I love to do, I don't think it's a problem as long as, you know, your person understands who you are. You know, as long as you don't get into the relationship and you do a 180 flip on them, you know, like, Phil knew who I was when he met me. He knew I loved to travel. He knew I'm very smart. I will get up and go at the drop of a dime. So to me, we are compatible, even though we don't necessarily like the same things. Not that he doesn't like to travel, but it's not a priority for him like it is for me. You know, I think as long as you both know who each other are and your lives fit together the way you know they should when you become one, then I don't think it's a problem. But if, you know, a requirement for you is that your partner travels with you and enjoys the same luxuries as you, then yeah, of course I can see that being an issue. So I think as long as you just are upfront about, you know, what it is that you enjoy, and if you need your partner to be there enjoying it with you, you know, you just have to. It's all a conversation. And knowing who you are and knowing.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Who your partner is, I agree 100%. I feel like what you see is what you get. And obviously I'm a traveler too, so whoever I end up with is going to know that that's a non negotiable for me, whether it's traveling with my children, whether it's traveling for myself, for work, for anything like that. And the same with that person, too. Like, I love traveling with a mate. You know, that's a different kind of trip in itself, but it's definitely about being compatible 100% and also communication. But I'm not going to change who I am. You know, it has to be put in the bud. It needs to be put in whatever the conversation is about what it is that fulfills me, because this is what I'm bringing to the table as Alexis, whomever I'm with, like, match the energy. And I would love to be with a person that wants to travel and wants to explore and see what else is out there. So compatibility with luxury, all of that goes hand in hand for sure, 100%. And to have that balance, Ashley, is a blessing for sure.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Right. And that's what I was telling Ashley. I feel like if. If mine didn't like the luxury travel, as long as you're not on me or trying to, you know, boss me or tell. Dictate where I go or, you know, how long I stay, then, you know, we're fine. But if you. You're starting to complain about me traveling because you don't like to travel, then there's. There's a. Definitely an issue.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah, yeah. And I felt like, you know, you have to do whatever they think is their luxury, too. It's like, it's also a compromise, you know what I'm saying? So he'll go on my little trips with me or whatever, and, you know, I'll let him stay home, do what he wants, but he also will let me go do my own thing. So for me, that's a luxury in my relationship, to still be able to go and do the things that I want to do, you know, so.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Absolutely.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Ashley, bless.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

That's right. It's a blessing. Yes, it is.

[Ashley Nicole]

Okay, what's next? Do y'all think that men respect women with standards or just call us high maintenance when they can't afford us?

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Do I think the ones who don't have it are calling us high maintenance?

[Shirelle Rosado]

The ones that don't have it. Always complaining a lot.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's it. That it's just plain, like. Because I feel like, you know, a man will definitely splurge or want to court or want to, you know, show off or whatever the case may be. So, you know, you don't want anybody who's just very much like, you know, this is too much, or I can't handle it, or they're going to definitely call us High maintenance, for sure. I mean, we've read it. We've seen it. You know, it is what it is, but it comes with the territory, if you like. I mean, if we can go and have a good lunch and, you know, we have amazing lunches. That's just lunch, y'all, for a business meeting or just, you know, traveling to go to Turks to do business or show up for whatever the case may be. Little things. I mean, it just comes with the territory, who they're, you know, dealing with as well. So of course we gonna be called high maintenance or bougie or whatever the case may be. But I love. I love. I love an ocean view. If there's an ocean wherever I'm traveling to. So that's what I want to do for myself. And I work hard enough to make sure I'm gonna see the ocean if I'm right there, you know, like, that's a splurge for me or things like that, so.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Exactly.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Call me high maintenance worker. It is. But I know exactly what I'm on.

[Ashley Nicole]

Okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I know that's right.

[Ashley Nicole]

Okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Need to stay in their pay grade.

[Ashley Nicole]

Not saying they pay great.

[Shirelle Rosado]

They just need to stay in their paper.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

They do.

[Shirelle Rosado]

They need to date your pay, Date your. Your pay range, whatever you want to spend. Don't. Don't talk about it. Just adjust what type of woman, but by how you get paid. But don't.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Don't get someone in your uppity, high maintenance gold digger. Just all those words make me cringe. I'm just like, what do you. You know?

[Ashley Nicole]

All right, so I got a game. It's called luxury or lie. Okay, so I got you luxury or lie. All right, so y'all tell me, is it luxury or lie? You can't call it luxury if it's being financed by Clarina or afterpay.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Clearing our after pay is like layaway, right?

[Ashley Nicole]

I think so.

[Shirelle Rosado]

That's. That's a lot.

[Ashley Nicole]

That's a lie.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Yeah.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Well, no, no, no. Let me take that back. If it's luxury, it's luxury. No matter how you got it, it's luxury. Maybe you want it to. You know, you had something come up and you went. You had to put that on. What do you call it? Aftercare? After pay?

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah, after pay.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

What is it exactly? Is it like layaway? You put you pay on it, and then you get the luxury.

[Ashley Nicole]

Luxury with clarinet and afterpay, you can go on the Chanel website and purchase after. Yeah, it's a lie. That's not luxury.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

I think.

[Ashley Nicole]

I think I feel like. But you got to pay that on layaway. It's not luxury.

[Shirelle Rosado]

It's like, if you know what, let's put it like this, since we're talking about travel, like flights and hotels, Luxury hotels. If you put it on after you.

[Ashley Nicole]

Put it like that. Okay. Then yes, that could still be considered luxury because them flights, expensive as hell. I looked up them Paris flights to go see Beyonce in June. Chad, the tickets was $10,000. I'm happy.

[Shirelle Rosado]

We have to go. Is that for me?

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Is that first class?

[Ashley Nicole]

Yes, girl. Sign me up for the after pay, honey, because.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

What, so you pay after you attend? I don't know how it works.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yes.

[Ashley Nicole]

I'm not gonna go sign up. I might be.

[Shirelle Rosado]

It's like I've seen it before. It's like you paying installments.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

You pay it that way, but you don't get it until you pay it off. So to me, by the time you pay it off or whatever the case may be, it's like credit. No, like, kind of.

[Shirelle Rosado]

You can overpay whatever you have. It's kind of like. Yeah, it's like a credit. It's like a credit card without the card.

[Ashley Nicole]

Beyonce needs to do her tickets on afterp because them motherfuckers was high too. This whole situation is expensive. Okay, all right, next one.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

She live a lot for luxury every day.

[Ashley Nicole]

You can't be a luxury black girl if you work a 9 to 5 a lot.

[Shirelle Rosado]

That's a lie.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

That's a lie.

[Ashley Nicole]

Who said that?

[Shirelle Rosado]

That's a lie. And my portion is horrible, actually.

[Ashley Nicole]

That is a horrible.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah, that's horrible. I was living a luxury lifestyle working 9 to 5. Now I work longer than 9 to 5 just to maintain.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yes.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

And in order to have that 9 to 5, you got to give vacation time. You got to have self time. You got to get away. You got to relax. You got to. You know, we. We working really much. We really overworking ourselves. We working to live instead of living to work. It's a difference. You know, it's not the same. So if you working hard, take your. Take your time off.

[Ashley Nicole]

All right, next one. Having a roster of men who spoil you equals main character energy. A roster that spoils you.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Gives main character.

[Ashley Nicole]

Come on, single ladies, y'all got a roster.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Main character energy, though. I mean, I am the main character. I would hope that I would be, you know, to me, having a romper awareness equal that.

[Ashley Nicole]

It's about.

[Shirelle Rosado]

So basically, the rock being is paying for everything.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah, you got a roster of men spoiling you, buying you everything. Paying your rent, paying your car note, taking you on trips, buying you bags. So that means you are living in luxury and you're giving main character energy. I didn't say that. That's what they said.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Oh, it's.

[Ashley Nicole]

That's a little something.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I mean, I feel like. I feel like that's. That's not luxury for me because I don't like to. First, I don't like to depend on a man. And that's temporary. Like, why would you want a group of men paying for everything that's temporary? What happens when you get older? All those men, you know, fade away. Now you experience. You ain't. You're not experiencing that luxury lifestyle no more. Now it's hard for you to really make money because you have been so co dependent on these men taking care of you.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Yeah. It's a temporary fact. And they have an arrival. That's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. You know, it's just. And then, you know, obviously if they're giving something, they want something in return, whether it's time, whether it's affection, whatever the case may be. But like, I, I don't think I would be accepting someone to like take over my, like my, my, my payments or whatever the case may be. I don't trust like that, you know, I understand like what Cherelle is saying. I don't want to depend on that, you know, so that wouldn't really be. I mean, so I guess would that be a lie? I mean, but we know, we know people who do this, you know, this is how they survive. I just not going to depend on it. I don't want to becomes financially like abusive at that. Independent. Yeah, it's not, it's not.

[Ashley Nicole]

Next one if he flies you out. But you're in Spirit Airlines basic economy. Is that luxury? I mean, you getting flu.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I done had that happen. I done had that happen to me.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

No, you didn't.

[Ashley Nicole]

Not on the spirit.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I was eating ramen noodles, girl. I got on the spirit. I was eating ramen noodles. I had my little coke. I had my little spirit package. My little spirit starter package. I'm not gonna hold the big seat in the front.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

The big seat. I was about to say.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I didn't even have the big seat. I didn't even have the big seat. I had a regular seat.

[Ashley Nicole]

He love you, girl.

[Shirelle Rosado]

He love you.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

I mean, it's tough. I feel like the men that are attracted to us assume it'll be first class or business. But I feel like at the same time I'm a go and pull up on somebody that I like, you know, I'm going to go pull up on them whether it's a train, car ride, whatever the case may be. If I like you, I'm a pull up on you.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

If I can get there, I'm cool with that. Because I mean, sometimes.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Okay, Lex, Lex, question. Would you. Okay, your man lived in la, you would take a four and a half hour flight on Frontier Airlines. There's no Internet, no WI fi, you can't text, you can't stroll and there's no first class seats.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Definitely need to be some kind of. That would be tough. Not Frontier Spirit, not going cross country. I wouldn't be able to do it. I rather. Honestly, you know, that's not true love. I'd rather upgrade myself. No, I'd rather upgrade. Now that you said a long flight, that's different. That's a long flight. Now a quick flight to really. But you said no Internet, no recline.

[Shirelle Rosado]

There was no. There was. I was economy. No Internet, nothing. All the flights were booked out and the only thing that was left was a Frontier flight.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Okay. I would do it because I'm about that life. I'mma go. I'm thugging it out though. I'm be thugging it out.

[Ashley Nicole]

But what if there were other seats available? But he purposely got you the economy, you know, does that make a difference? Are you like looking at him different now?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

You know? Yeah. I just say, I always say this. Don't introduce me to something you can't mean. Yeah, but I will pull up on you. You know, I will pull up.

[Ashley Nicole]

All right, that's it for our luxury or lie game. That was cute. That was fun. I'm have to do that again.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

That was cute.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah, that was. All right. So our next topic is Michelle Obama. She's setting the record straight she's choosing herself and not divorce. On the last episode of Work in Progress, Michelle Obama finally addresses the growing rumors about her and former President Barack Obama heading for split. But instead of confirming the gossip, she flips the script. This isn't about divorce. It's about rediscovery. With her daughters grown and her White House duties long behind her, Michelle shares that for the first time, she's prioritizing herself. But why is a woman choosing herself still such a radical concept? And why did the public jump straight to divorce just because she wasn't by Barack's side? What do y'all think about that?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Advertised, I mean they showed something where it was showing Barack walking into a. Some type of establishment with another woman. No, they did, they did.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Like, like recently, I think. I didn't see that.

[Ashley Nicole]

I missed that one.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

So is that where this kind of sparked the whole thing or this was just in general?

[Shirelle Rosado]

That's what I'm thinking. Because, you know, I was scrolling through the blogs and I seen where they had a video footage. So maybe that's where the. And divorce rumors came from. Saying that I'm supposed to sit on my. That's what I'm. I'm thinking.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

I hate, I really hate that she had to even just say anything. I mean, we obviously don't know what's going on behind closed doors, but at the same thing again, I hate that she had to say this only because she is doing what she wants to do. Right now we're talking about Michelle Obama, the former first Lady. In my eyes, she's always the first lady and so is Barack. So this is what she's doing. She's great with motivation. She's a great mentor. We just look up to her. So regardless of whatever's going on in her personal life, I just think it's amazing that she is doing what she wants to do. And I love seeing her in this space of where we can see her personality. Like, we. I feel like she was muted, low key, being in, you know, the White House and being, you know, having to be the first lady of the United States of America. So now she can really. We can see her personality, and it's really low key, just kind of like, disrespectful in a way that people are coming at her like this because it's like, look, I don't have to fit in this box that y'all want me to be in. Like, I'm gonna show up for my people. I. I have my girls, I have my life, I have my education, I have my job, I have my books, I have my tours. She got things going on and low key with security and national, like, she gets security forever. And her girls are grown. So, like, do you. To me, it's very much her turn. And I feel like Barack is very much a, you know, supportive husband in that way of just like, it's your turn. Like, you sacrificed all these years for me. They met when they were like, he used to work for her. So it's like, you know, it's your turn, babe. Like, you sacrifice for me. You sacrifice everything, your freedoms, just these little things we take for granted. So now she has the freedom of speech to really just, you Know, be herself and we're getting to see her personality and I like it. So shout out to Michelle Obama. You know, I like her a lot.

[Shirelle Rosado]

You know, I think it's definitely time for her to focus on herself. Yeah, I think she, it's, it's definitely time for her to focus on herself and people shouldn't speculate like, oh, it's a divorce because she chose to focus on herself. I mean, you know, she supported Barack while he was in office and it was all about Barack. Now, you know, she had her book came out, it did great. It's time for her to focus. I mean they've been together for years, for years. So now it's time for me to take a ride in the front seat.

[Ashley Nicole]

Seen as a trouble in the marriage.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Because it's outside the norm. It's not normal, but she's not normal. Like, let's be real. And it's 2025, like things shift. You know, there's going to be times in any relationship where you working right now, I might not be, I might be following my passion and you might not be right now. Vice versa. It's a growing process. I mean they have been together for so many different periods and I mean, I bet you week one when they were starting the day he was like, I bet you he was not like, hey, I'm going to run for president one day. You know, so it, it came with adjustment time, it came with them really getting on this bandwagon together and really being, it happens. And so she low key, you know, put herself on pause to really support her husband, which is what we do. So this is the first time you're seeing this man that has been such, put on a platform to be very masculine and very much dominating. To be like, my wife is going to do what she's going to do and shout out to like, you know, even Joe Biden, for example, his wife, Dr. Jill Biden was still teaching. She was like, I'm still going to teach. I still got to go see my students. I still want to go to be teach at the university. I'm going to keep doing what I'm going to do, so I'm here for it. You know, it definitely is a double standard whenever it comes like that. But you know, Michelle Obama is a boss, so. Boss, boss, just go and get it. What are y'all?

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah.

[Shirelle Rosado]

10 years.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah. I mean, I think she is probably just being who she's always been. I'm sure one of the main things that attracted President Obama to her is who she is as an individual. And like you said, Sherelle, I think she probably was, you know, or. I don't know if Alexis, you might have said it, that she was, like, muted, you know, like, she's been not in the background, but she hasn't. You know, she was busy supporting Obama and everything that he was doing. So now is her time to step out and do her own thing. And I think they've shown us that they are a very supportive couple. I don't. I mean, even if there is a rumor, I just don't see them divorcing. Like, I just don't see that from them. They have been through something that nobody could imagine, like he was the first black president. You know what I mean? I just. They would. That legacy is something special. So to have a divorce, I just don't see her even entertaining that. She, Like, I feel like what she's doing is just gonna. She's focusing on her, which you should absolutely do. And I think in marriages like you, there's. Like you said, Alexa, there's times where you just focus on yourself, and there's nothing wrong with it. It's nothing. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with your relationship. It's just a time for everything. Some. Some. Some things need more attention and effort at different periods in the relationship. But do you think that we glorify the superwoman behavior in women, but then punish them when we say that they need a break?

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Mm. Mm. Mm. That's tough.

[Shirelle Rosado]

That's a good one.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Ooh. That was. That was a great question, by the way.

[Ashley Nicole]

I always. I always say, like, I don't subscribe to that superwoman, you know, idea. You know what I mean? Like, I want to be great at everything that I'm doing, but, you know, I'm only human. I'm not superhuman. And I don't want anybody to, like, hold me to that standard. You know, I'm doing the best I can. Sometimes, you know, I need to take mental health breaks. Sometimes. I need to, you know, let Phil take the lead on parenthood, because right now, whatever I'm going through, you know, I need to focus on something else. I don't know, but I don't subscribe to that. I just feel like that's a. That's added pressure and weight on me. That is not needed, and it's not necessary. So I think it's very healthy to know when you need a break, because how can you take care of everybody in a healthy way if you don't take care of Yourself, like, we all know that you gotta take care of yourself first. So I don't subscribe to that Superwoman. But, I mean, I know, though, personally, people that I look up to, women that I know that I absolutely. I look at them, I'm like, damn, y'all are really super women, because y'all out here killing it. You doing this, this and that. So, like, you know, I'm not saying that I glorify them, but I definitely give them credit, you know, when credit is due. And I can definitely see it in other women, like, you know, when they're just giving their all a hundred percent. Every time I see them, they are really just, you know, it's inspiring. You know, it inspires me.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

So.

[Ashley Nicole]

Not that I glorify it, but I. You know, I see it. I don't. Not something. Yeah, I support it, but I don't think we should, like, push women to be that, you know.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Yeah. It can get real exhausting, you know, especially when you factor in children and so many roles that we play that we are nurses sometimes. We are the ballet service. We're drivers, we're tutors. We're all these different. We wear many hats. And so, like, you know, it does come off. Like, it could be like, superwoman or whatever, but it definitely is a stigma of, like, you should take care of yourself and. Right. What you said, Ashley, to recognize, like, you know what? I need a break because it gets overwhelming. We run ourselves so thin. We get unhealthy. We start snacking on bad things, and we don't take care of our health. We miss appointments or these things because we're putting everybody before us. So I feel like it should be more of a movement, and I love this movement of, like, self love. Take your time out, talk to somebody, hang out with your friends. Just to have an outlet where you just not working all the time. Because people are working, you know, whatever their shift is, and then turn around and have to work at home and then, you know, or whatever the case may be. So it's just like. It's good to have that balance, to really just, like, take the time and breathe and relax and take care of yourself. Because without that, then everything falls apart. Everything. You know, the household, all of that.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Y'all know I'm big on that.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah. Are women still expected to sacrifice personal freedom once they become wives and mothers? And why hasn't that changed?

[Shirelle Rosado]

I don't think you should sacrifice, you know, personal freedom like Lex said. And, you know, we're big on speaking on that in Order to take. To provide for your family or take care of your family and your, you know, your kids, your husband, everything. You have to take care of yourself first. So when you sacrifice that, you start seeing a. A bad pattern like your. Your. Your behavior, you know, how. How you move. You start hating things because you're not taking care of yourself physically and mentally.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

So, yeah, I think.

[Ashley Nicole]

I think that women naturally sacrifice, you know, for their children, for their husbands, for their families, because we're just nurturers, and, you know, we want everything to be good and everybody to, you know, thrive and be comfortable. So, you know, when we start sacrificing too much, you know, to where we lose ourselves, I think that's where it becomes a problem. So I think there has to be, you know, a. A balance, you could say, when it comes to it, you know, But I think sacrificing, like, personal freedom, though, is. Is a bit much. You know what I mean? I know there's a lot of women who feel like once they get into a relationship, you know, they got to do whatever they man say. They can't go nowhere to go, like, that's a lot to. To sacrifice. And in this day and age, you know, there's a lot of women and relationships that we can look up to that are thriving and they don't have those specific demands. So I think it is changing. I think women are doing more for themselves.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

I think it is changing, too, especially just because you're like, this is who I am. And to find a partner that is going to support you and, you know, really be there for you to, like, this is. This is what I need to do for myself, and people need to. I feel like we just have to do more personal days, too, where even if you are feeling good and you feel like, you know what? I need a day just to, you know, for myself, I'm feeling good right now. We need to encourage more of that. And just those personal days of just, like, you know, stepping back, because it's a lot. You know, we live in a world of, again, instant gratification, showing things off. And, like, it could be family traditions of having, you know, certain standards for your household. So it's a lot of pressure that's outside of your space and outside of your home. So you have to take care of your mind and your heart first again, because everything else will fall apart, you know, that's just how I feel.

[Ashley Nicole]

Yeah, that's true.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

Thank you. Mm.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Okay, ladies, y'all gotta remember to keep yourself first. Choose yourself first. Take care of yourself so that everyone else can get taken care of.

[Alexis Welch Stoudemire]

And a partner that sees you, you know, just knows who you are and vice versa. Like, allow them to have that space, too, because that needs to be encouraged. Also, like, you know, do something for yourself, whatever that that might be on both ends.