Humble Baddies - Part 1: Tyreek & Keeta Hill's Breakup & Navigating Toxic Relationships

Summary

Club Shay Shay Podcast Summary
Episode: Humble Baddies - Part 1: Tyreek & Keeta Hill's Breakup & Navigating Toxic Relationships
Release Date: May 8, 2025
Hosts: iHeartPodcasts, The Volume, and Shay Shay Media
Guests: Portia Berto and Friend (Marshall)

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Introduction to Guest Experiences

The episode begins with hosts Portia Berto and her friend Marshall delving into their personal lives, particularly focusing on the challenges of balancing motherhood and maintaining personal well-being. Portia shares her struggles with managing household chaos while striving to keep up with professional and personal responsibilities.

Notable Quote:
Portia Berto discusses the complexities of modern motherhood:
"I don't understand how people expect for you to make money and raise children and still be attractive and work out in self-care and go to church. I don't know how people do all the things."
[04:31]

Discussing High-Profile Breakups: Keeta Hill and Tyreek Hill

The conversation shifts to the highly publicized breakup between NFL star Tyreek Hill and his wife, Keeta Hill. Portia expresses her sympathy towards Keeta, highlighting the intense scrutiny and lack of empathy women in the public eye often face during personal crises.

Notable Quote:
Marshall comments on the unfair treatment Keeta Hill is receiving:
"It's always assumed it's a money grab because they're making money, and people lack empathy for anybody in a position of prominence."
[14:47]

Portia adds her perspective on the lack of public dialogue between Tyreek and Keeta, emphasizing that the negativity largely stems from external sources rather than the couple themselves.

Notable Quote:
Portia reflects on public perceptions:
"There's no grace at all. They will tear you to pieces."
[13:33]

Personal Experiences with Breakups and Public Perception

Both guests share their personal experiences with breakups, drawing parallels to Keeta and Tyreek's situation. Portia recounts her own challenging breakup while married to a professional boxer, highlighting the emotional toll and the internal struggle to maintain composure in the aftermath.

Notable Quote:
Portia describes her emotional state post-breakup:
"I was so pathetic. Girl, I was a mess. An absolute mess."
[26:02]

Marshall discusses the impact of public breakups on personal and professional life, emphasizing the difficulty of moving on when every detail is exposed to public scrutiny.

Notable Quote:
Marshall shares coping mechanisms:
"We have a beautiful child together. We can co-parent and let's just work through this."
[17:52]

Navigating Toxic Relationships and Rebranding

The episode delves into the concept of "rebranding" oneself after a toxic relationship, especially when under public observation. Both guests emphasize the importance of self-reflection and personal growth, rather than altering one's true self to fit external expectations.

Notable Quote:
Marshall advises on reclaiming personal identity:
"Don't seek closure from chaos. Create your own peace. Reclaim your narrative."
[38:37]

Portia adds insights on maintaining authenticity:
"Women are natural nurturers, natural pleasers. We end up giving too much and lose ourselves in the process."
[32:37]

Advice for Navigating Toxic Breakups

Towards the end of the episode, Portia and Marshall provide actionable advice for listeners dealing with toxic breakups. They emphasize the importance of self-care, seeking support from friends and family, and avoiding the temptation to publicly air grievances.

Key Takeaways:

• Create Your Own Peace: Focus on personal healing rather than seeking validation or closure from the ex-partner.
• Reclaim Your Narrative: Take control of your story, framing it with strength and compassion.
• Avoid Public Confrontations: Maintain dignity by handling breakups privately, especially in the age of social media.

Notable Quote:
Marshall encapsulates the essence of moving forward:
"You are not the worst thing someone did to you. Reframe your story with power and compassion."
[38:37]

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Conclusion

In this episode of Club Shay Shay, Portia Berto and Marshall offer a candid and heartfelt discussion on navigating the tumultuous waters of high-profile breakups and toxic relationships. Through personal anecdotes and empathetic insights, they provide listeners with valuable strategies to maintain their mental health and personal integrity during challenging times.

---

Notable Quotes Summary:

• Portia on modern motherhood challenges: "[04:31]"
• Marshall on empathy for public figures: "[14:47]"
• Portia on lack of grace from the public: "[13:33]"
• Portia on post-breakup emotional state: "[26:02]"
• Marshall on co-parenting: "[17:52]"
• Marshall on reclaiming personal identity: "[38:37]"
• Portia on women losing themselves: "[32:37]"
• Marshall on reframing one's story: "[38:37]"

---

This summary captures the essence of the episode, focusing on the main themes and providing direct quotes to enhance understanding and engagement for those who haven't listened to the full podcast.

Transcript

[Portia Berto]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast.

[Friend]

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[Portia Berto]

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[Friend]

You can so try it and see.

[Portia Berto]

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[Advertiser]

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[Portia Berto]

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[Advertiser]

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[Friend]

What's up? What's up? What's up? Hey, Marshall.

[Portia Berto]

My intro, bitch. I said. Oh, they cute on the intro. Where's my intro? Go ahead, play the song again. Sing it for me.

[Friend]

You know who can sing? Don't start with your.

[Portia Berto]

See, I knew. I knew that. I knew that I knew. Never mind, never mind. Hey, friend.

[Friend]

No, I'm gonna get you before we get off this live.

[Portia Berto]

I'm sick of you.

[Friend]

Hey, friend. What's up, you guys? We are back. Ashley and Alexis are out of town right now. They're handling business. So we have our one and only bad bitch Good mom in the building as a special guest holding it down for with us while Alexis and Ashley are taking care of business, our beautiful one and only Ms. Portia Berto.

[Portia Berto]

Thank you, friend.

[Friend]

Y' all may know her from wax to riches. My, my, my, my dog. My top dog.

[Portia Berto]

I can't see you, friend. You went away, girl like that. Let me set my little soft block. Hold on.

[Friend]

Okay, I'm back. I'm back. I'm back.

[Portia Berto]

You back.

[Friend]

Welcome, Portia. We are so excited to have you here with us.

[Portia Berto]

I'm so excited to be here. You know, this is like. I don't know how long it's going to be, but this is time away from the chaos that is my house. So if you hear screaming, if you hear a little boy coming here, talking about beep, beepee body, doo doo body. If you hear something, just know I'm just upstairs tucked away.

[Friend]

So thank you. But that's, that's what it is, being a bad mom. I mean, you have to navigate through everything. Being a boss mom and, you know, trying to do everything. Take care of yourself, take care of your family, be a wife, a mom and entrepreneur. It's.

[Portia Berto]

It's hard, but it's very hard is I don't understand how people expect for you to, you know, make money and raise children and still be attractive and work out in self care and go to church. I don't know how people do all the things. I'm not really sure. I don't know. But I'm working it out. I lost you again, friend.

[Friend]

Oh, I know. It's. I don't know what's going on with my camera.

[Portia Berto]

There you go.

[Friend]

It's been a hater today, but we still don't, you know, navigate through this. How has everything been set? Black riches.

[Portia Berto]

Well, you know, when the show came out, my baby was 8 weeks old. So I was like, deep, deep in the trenches of mommyhood. So I really. I don't think I left the house after the show came on. Like, we went to Turks. We did the party. After that, I went home, and I didn't leave for weeks. And my first time leaving was my daughter's birthday, and I went to Disney World, and somebody came up to me. This girl was like, oh, my God, my husband recognized you. I love you on the show. And I looked like I didn't know what the hell she was talking about. I was like, what are you talking about, lady? I'm just like. I completely. Like, it just wasn't. I was like, oh. She's like, I want a picture. I was like, oh, shit.

[Advertiser]

It's my first little pic.

[Portia Berto]

It was a cute little moment, but honestly, I just been raising these children. My baby's five months, almost six months now. So, like, I had, like, I really haven't had a chance to slow down since it came out. It's been a lot, girl. It's been a year.

[Friend]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's hard. It's a lot. How is it with, you know, trying to, you know, first it was always Andre who was getting all the attention and everything, because people may not know, but your husband is a professional retired boxer. Oh, well, you got to get.

[Portia Berto]

Because if you.

[Friend]

Wait, wait, you give him.

[Portia Berto]

I'm sorry, he's a 2004 Olympian, two time world champion. You got to give him his stuff because he gonna text me, like, why y' all gonna play me? Like I'm just old and washed.

[Friend]

Just go ahead and introduce your husband.

[Portia Berto]

2004 Olympian and two time world champion. Let me say it before he come for me, but, yes, he is retired, okay? From boxing. Not from business, but from boxing. He's retired, girl. He still get plenty more attention than me. Them people love him.

[Friend]

I know they love him, but how. But it was always. The attention was always on him. Now that you are on Netflix and you have Spotlight, have that spotlight as well, how was it? Was it like a. A shock or.

[Portia Berto]

No, we kind of just laugh about it, you know, we kind of just makes us giggle a little bit because he's like, look at you. And I'm like, I know. Like, we just kind of laugh about it, but not much has changed.

[Friend]

I told you.

[Portia Berto]

But y' all don't leave the house. You know, I don't go no damn.

[Friend]

Where, like, the crazy thing is, Portia, you're so talented. You're more talented to me. You're more talented than your husband. You can sing, you can dance, you know, you can act, you can do it all. And you're amazing mother. So I feel like, you know, you need to put away some of them humble. Yeah, that humbleness and get out there.

[Portia Berto]

I mean, I will. I'm coming out of my newborn era. I'm coming out the bubble right now. You know what I mean? Like, I'm back working. I'm back real estate. Like, I'm back, you know, I'm back doing the things. It just took me a little time, you know? Third one is taking me a little time. I had to try to get my body right. You know what I mean? You can't walk outside looking crazy, bitch. I gotta be fine.

[Friend]

That's right. That's right. But we're gonna get into all that. We're gonna get into all that. We wanted to do a quick introduction of everything, but let's go into our first topic for today, and it is.

[Portia Berto]

Hello. No ma' am. No ma' am. No ham, no turkey. How have you been? You've been.

[Friend]

My best life. I mean, she's an air.

[Portia Berto]

You've been. You've been traveling. You've been traveling.

[Friend]

Portia, I've been traveling so much. I was in another country, and I had to go to the embassy to get a. An emergency passport because I ran out of pages.

[Portia Berto]

Not ran out of pages, like humble.

[Friend]

Bread and I have the factory soup.

[Portia Berto]

Ran out of pages. No big deal.

[Friend]

I had other countries to visit while I was, you know, while I was traveling there. And they were like, you're not going to be able to go, girl. They were like, you're not going to be able to go to your next destination until you go to the embassy. You go to the embassy, and you have to get your emergency passport. So thank God I was able to. What the hell? I was able to. I was able to take care of that. So now I have another appointment tomorrow to go to the passport office in Miami to get a full extended passport so your girl can continue on with her amazing life.

[Portia Berto]

This is what I will say to you, and I say this to you all the time. You know, I be checking in. I be praying for my girl. Okay? I pray real hard for you, and I just pray in all of your travels, wherever you at, whatever you doing, whatever's going on, that you just. You find a soft place to land and that you're just Covered and happy and appreciated and just. You know what I mean? Because I didn't. I prayed.

[Friend]

I pray.

[Portia Berto]

You know, I pray for you. And I just. Whatever you doing, wherever you at, whoever you with, I just be like, you know what? I just. I just want my friend to be out of the fray, out of the mess, and somewhere just soft and. Cause ain't nothing, friend. Ain't nothing outside but hookah and rasta pasta. Tequila. That's it. That's it. Lamb chops, hookah, rasta pasta, and scammers. And I said, lord, don't do it to moderately. I just pray whatever you doing in all your travels, you just find a soft place to land. And I'm just. You smiling and I'm just. I mean, I'm just happy. That's all.

[Friend]

I'm just happy for you. I love you. Of course. You always want the best for me. Oh, I appreciate it.

[Portia Berto]

Always, friend.

[Friend]

Okay, yes, I'm going. Today we are talking about our very own. It's going to lead into it, but navigating through a toxic breakup break, breaking up with the bullshit.

[Portia Berto]

Okay, yes, we're going.

[Friend]

So I know a lot of people have been saying that, you know, our girl Keita Hill has been in the blogs, and it's not for a good thing. Kita and Tariq, you know, they've been going through a devastating breakup, and it's not looking good. I don't like the fact that people are trying to come for her in regards to, you know, Tyrese has cut off all funds, allegedly. From what, you know, the blogs are saying, he basically cut off her debit card so she can't, you know, access any funds anymore. And people just reading the comments, it's like, well, you know, I thought she made her own money. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, this, that, and the third. And it's a lot of women, and I don't like that.

[Portia Berto]

Well, one, I didn't see that. I know when everything first happened, I think I told you I reached out to her and, you know, she was appreciative, and she seemed like she was okay. She was just like, you know, it's crazy. She was saying how there was paparazzi outside her building, and it was like, it was a lot. You know what I mean? For, like, days. Like, it continued for a while. So first and foremost, I just want to say that I'm all for, like, family. If family can work it out, if they can work it out. I want that so badly for her. But if it doesn't, you know what I mean, and I just wish that it's crazy because it's not even like they're on the Internet saying anything. They're not being messy back and forth. They're not doing it. This is literally just like, this is the public. This is the people, the blogs and everything. And I'm like, it'd be one thing if I felt like she was pulling everybody into her business, but she's really not even that type of girl. You know what I mean? So it's just crazy to see how people have like such weighted opinions about it. I don't know. It's kind of mind blowing to see, I think especially the way they're going in on her. Like, I don't know. I don't know. Because I think people lack a lot of empathy for anybody that they think that is in a position of prominence. And it's. You see it over and over and over again. Anybody who has anything, any status, any money, any anything is like there's no grace at all. Like they will tear you to.

[Friend]

But it's not even that. It's not even there. It's not even like they're going after the man. They're going after her. Like it's her fault. Like, you can't help who you fall in love with.

[Portia Berto]

Yeah.

[Friend]

And. And people don't know the story or know what, what they've been through. So it's like instead of. And I get it too. I mean, even with, you know, my breakup when Chad and I broke up, it's like, you know, they came after me, but they. You don't know the story. You don't know what you. What. What those two couples went through. And it's like they develop their own opinion and just, you know, it's always the woman who always get picked at. And it's not right. It's not fair.

[Portia Berto]

Do you think that's just because people just hold women to a higher standard in general? Like we just supposed to have all the sense. I mean, which I kind of get.

[Friend]

I don't just feel like they think that, oh, you went after, like with Kida in the situation with her in the blogs. Oh, she just wanted him for his money. She only got married just to get divorced to try to get the money. That's all you see, it's always like, oh, because they're making money because they're, you know, a higher profile individual. I think that's what it is. It's always assume it's a money grab.

[Portia Berto]

Yeah. So I don't know a Ton about their relationship. Well, I do know what she told me. And you know, they had a long relationship and then they broke up and she really went her way and he went his way and they really went over here. And you know, I can relate to that because that's exactly what happened to me. We dated for a time, seven, eight years, and then we broke up for a smooth year, year and a half. I went this way, he went that way, and he came back and got me. And from what I gathered, from what she told me, which they don't show on the show, is the conversation we had is that he really went back and he, he wanted back. He wanted, he said, I want my woman back. Let's get married today, tomorrow, let's go. And they, and they did. But yeah, I don't know. People are crazy people.

[Friend]

Oh, it's, it's like, it's hard, especially being in a high profile relationship. It's hard, like dealing with a breakup. And I can speak, you know, speak on that because I dealt with this like you're in a public relationship when you're happy, you got to go through that breakup in the public. And it's ugly, but it's just like sometimes you just want some type of grace. Like you just want somebody just, you.

[Portia Berto]

Know, let me ask you something. Like, did you feel any, like, any responsibility to publicly kind of explain or give any explanation because your relationship, like you said, all the happy stuff was so public and you know what I mean? Like, Chad, whatever, he'll prop you up.

[Friend]

He'Ll put you right, right here, girl. You know what I mean?

[Portia Berto]

Like, he gonna, like he gonna do that, right? Did you feel any responsibility to give any type of explanation or did you feel pressured to kind of tell your side or. You know what I mean? Like when everything happened and it was.

[Friend]

Some, some days I wanted to. Because you get tired of, you know, speculation. Yeah, the speculations and everything. But it's like, why, you know, let's just move on. You know, we have a beautiful child together. We can co parent and let's just work through this. You know, when it comes to co parenting, I know people want to know, but you just have to. At one point, I felt like I had to tell my side of the story, but it's like, why? It doesn't mean it's not going to change anything.

[Portia Berto]

It's not.

[Friend]

So just, it's not just carry on, you know, what happened. You know, he knows what happened and God knows what happened.

[Portia Berto]

I mean, because the people who are rooting for you are still very much.

[Friend]

Like it back there.

[Portia Berto]

They still very much on that vibe. And then the people who was on a I told you so train before, just waiting for something to happen. Them people still there, they still say stuff. So you're right, it doesn't matter. But I always wondered that though, like, you know, if you felt like it would be disappointing for it to. Not just to you and him, but just to like, you know, the fans who like supported y' all and said so many kind things and like, really kept up with y' all and, you.

[Friend]

Know, I mean, they still can say kind things and still support us as co. As we co parent through this. I mean, Chad is an amazing father and, you know, I'm an amazing person. We just didn't work out and that's what it is. I mean, you know, they can still support us and don't have to choose sides because we didn't, you know, we still support each other at the end of the day.

[Portia Berto]

Never mind the fact they don't have to choose sides. They don't know what happened. Choosing a side.

[Friend]

No, they don't care.

[Portia Berto]

For real.

[Friend]

But it is what it is. I mean, you know, it just sucks. And I, I feel for Keita in regards to her situation because she's going through and having all the public people trying to attack her and come come with her and extra crazy because she real quiet.

[Portia Berto]

She's like. And she really, she gonna do it just like Beyonce, My girl is mom's the word. She ain't gonna say nothing. And I mean nothing. She gonna let that thing go and I be like, girl, you're made of. Because I would have said something to somebody.

[Friend]

It's a lot. It's a lot. So I think a lot of people go through this and even if they're not in high profile relationships, because you still have to think about it like just a regular couple, it's still public embarrassment because you have to go through it with your family, your friends and everything. So maybe we can help some people who are going through this. And some of my questions I have. I know when you went, you have went through a breakup with. Before you and Andre got together, got married, when y' all was dating. Do you believe people change after a toxic breakup? I don't know if y' all break up with toxic. Ours was a little rough. Or do you think they just re. Rebrand themselves for the next person?

[Portia Berto]

I think that, I think more often than not, people rebrand themselves for the next person. That's what I think, hey, so we.

[Advertiser]

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[Friend]

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[Advertiser]

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[Friend]

So do like I did and have.

[Portia Berto]

One of your assistant's assistants switch you.

[Friend]

To Mint Mobile today.

[Portia Berto]

I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail].

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[Friend]

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[Portia Berto]

VGW Group void.

[Friend]

We're prohibited by law 21 plus terms and conditions apply. I think that's what I kind of did. Like, I'm trying to rebrand myself a little, especially after the show came out, because it made it look like, you know, I was going after Chad for his money. It was awful. Like, listen, I don't want. Let's be clear. That was not, you know, that was not it. And Chad knows that. Like, you know, we can play some roles. But first of all, my biggest thing.

[Portia Berto]

Yep.

[Friend]

I was really looking at it.

[Portia Berto]

Like, look at these damn fools up here playing. And if you stop playing these people fake.

[Friend]

But. But because of that, you know, trying to be a team player or whatever, I feel like I have to rebrand myself because it made it look like I was just this gold digger, you know, coming for Chad and his money and, you know, trying to take everything, but that's not the case. So for me, my situation. I have to rebrand myself and just.

[Portia Berto]

Show who you really think that you have to rebrand. Like, I just. I don't know, maybe because I just. I know you in real life, so I just did not take an ounce of that serious. I'm. I'm serious. Like, I just. I didn't even. It took me so long to even watch it because I remember talking to you about it. I remember us getting ready together, and then you go, and I gotta go do this. And I talk to you after. It just was not a big. It just wasn't a thing. And then I saw that, and I was like, they playing and immediately just.

[Friend]

Put it out because you know it.

[Portia Berto]

But you actually feel like you have to react. Rebrand.

[Friend]

I don't think that you people take TV to another level. It's not like it used to.

[Portia Berto]

You rebranding yourself for. For your next potential mates.

[Friend]

For my next potential mate.

[Portia Berto]

No, because they g. When they meet, they gonna know that's not. Not your life that you're not about that. You know what I mean?

[Friend]

It's easy to tell.

[Portia Berto]

Five minutes with you, and it's like, you're literally the most generous person in the world. I have to tell all the time. Tr. Stop giving me shit. Stop doing stuff. Relax, girl. Like, you know what I mean? It'd be five minutes somebody spend with you. And they know that that's. That's not even what you own at all.

[Friend]

But, I mean, it's so bad. I got. I almost got cussed out because I was pulling out my wallet and they let me be a man. Just let me be a man, you know? But I literally got cussed out. Like, chill. Like, sit back and relax and chill. I don't know what you think.

[Portia Berto]

Like I said, covered. Okay. Soft place to land. Covered. In totality, you're covered. That's what I wish for you.

[Friend]

Thank you, boo. My next question is, how do you protect your mental health during and after the breakup? Oops. Listen, alcohol was a good coping. Alcohol and traveling were my.

[Portia Berto]

Let me tell you. First of all, let me say, when Andre and I broke up for that. That time, I mean, I had. I was definitely a little wino, you know what I mean? And I was working in a restaurant at the time, and they gave us free wine. I was just slizzard. Just all the damn time. Like, I was really in my feelings, fully drinking my feelings. And I did go to church a lot. I went to church a lot. And then I went home and I was on that bottle and it took me. My best friend, she used to leave me notes on the fridge, like, it's okay. You're gonna find love again. The sun comes out. Girl, I was so. Oh, I was so pathetic. Girl, I was a mess. An absolute mess. It was. It was horrendous. It really was. So. But I got over. Took about six months. I ain't going to lie. Took about six to eight. It took a little while. It took.

[Friend]

It took me a while. Wait, December, January. It took me about three and a half months.

[Portia Berto]

Is it? I'm kidding.

[Friend]

I mean, I'm not fully over. I mean, you know, you still have your moment. It's like, damn. Like, this shit is real.

[Portia Berto]

Also not one of them to sit around and cry anyway. But, you know, I'm a water bag. I will cry like that. So it's. It's totally different. Like, you know, I wouldn't expect for you to be sitting around and your PJs in the fetal position for six months. But I'm.

[Friend]

Oh, no. Only time it hits me is when the kids get involved. That's when it's like. But shit. We got our own group chat. We planning trips and everything. So it's like you out the picture. Like, the kids, they were so sweet. They told me. The oldest one told me, I don't care what. What they got going on over there, but we still family. They was talking to, like, the kids talking to each other. And I was just. I shared a ticket. I'm like, I love them. Like the bum that they have is just. We are. I still got the pictures, our pictures.

[Portia Berto]

Y' all are being. But I can say that when he and I broke up, we didn't have any kids. So it felt very final. It felt very. I'm never going to see this person ever again. And he lived 15 minutes away. And would you believe that for a year and a half, I never saw him anywhere. We lived. He lived in Hollywood. I lived in West Hollywood. We never saw each other ever. Like, ever. And that was by design. Because the Lord knew if he would have seen me in the streets, bitch, my knees would have buckled. I would have been in shambles. I was a mess. It would have been bad. But it did take a toll on my mental health. But it was also so necessary, I think, that going through that stuff, those emotions, that's just necessary for you. Just as a. As a woman, I'm sure, as a person, I don't. I can't really speak for men, but as a woman, you gotta go through that stuff because it just adds a different layer to who you are. Like, it just. It changes you. You become so introspective. If you're not introspective and you don't change your mentality after a breakup like that, you know, from a serious relationship, a marriage or whatever, then you just didn't. You didn't do the work. Like, I used to always think it was a red flag where, like, I meet a guy and he's talking about his ex, or he can take no. No responsibility for what happened in his relationship. Everything is her fault. Everything was. I'm like, damn, ain't change you at all. You can't take no credit. You ain't did nothing wrong. Okay?

[Friend]

That's a big red flag. When. When a man is talking or. Or even a woman, like, just talking about everything was their fault, their fault, their fault. And there was no accountability on your end, that is a red flag. And the next person should be aware of that. But you know what? They tend to do the new person. What they tend to do is start hating the ex when they don't even know what the situation is. And it's, it's sad. But I always, when I'm, you know, getting into something or even when I'm getting out out of something, I don't speak on my previous relationship. I, I never speak negative in regards to it. There's nothing that you need to know about what happened with us but where I was getting it. But you should, you should pay attention to that. And when, if somebody comes to me about in regards to what they ex did or why they relationship didn't last. My question is, what was your problem? What did you do? What was your problem exactly? It can't be all the other person.

[Portia Berto]

It never is. It never is. But then that's when you know you're dealing with a man child who can't take accountability for anything and who's probably emotionally avoidant because he's just firing off about this woman who's somewhere living her life.

[Friend]

That's true.

[Portia Berto]

Gotta be careful out there, friend scammers and roster pasta.

[Friend]

That's why I'm just enjoying life. I'm not getting into any relationships. You know, I'm just gonna.

[Portia Berto]

Don't just travel regularly. You travel like this. Ooh, traveling. I. Using my passport because I'm fancy.

[Friend]

Go get another passport because I'm not out of place.

[Portia Berto]

I cannot deal with you humble baddies. Is it?

[Friend]

I can't deal with you any right now. Let me stop. Okay, question. Have you ever lost yourself in a relationship and how did you find your way back?

[Portia Berto]

Still lost. Still finding it. I'm kidding.

[Friend]

No.

[Portia Berto]

Yes, Yes, I have. And it's easy to do when you're dealing with somebody who is, has a.

[Friend]

Large presence, a high profile individual.

[Portia Berto]

I will say that being a mom, I lost myself in that. And then I came back and then I lost it again and then I came back. You know what I mean? Like that, that happened easier than the relationship thing. But I just feel like that's easy to happen with anybody, with any woman, no matter what kind of guy you're dating is because we're just like, we're hardwired to get love and to sacrifice. You know what I mean? Like, that's just. We just always end up on that side of it. If you're not careful, you end up giving a little bit too much. And it's not like the person is on the receiving end saying, okay, now you're giving me too much. Stop, stop. No, they love it.

[Friend]

They love you.

[Portia Berto]

They're just taking it. They're just taking it. And women are just natural nurturers, natural pleasers. So we end up doing things that the guy likes, taking on his hobbies, taking on his lingo, you know, dressing a certain way because he thinks it's cute wearing our hair. Like, it starts. Like, it'd be like, look. And you look up like, well, damn, who's this? Who am I? You know what I mean? I think it happens. I don't know any woman that it hasn't happened to, Honestly, not my friends. I think it's happened to all of us.

[Friend]

It has. And I can say this. I actually had a long call, so one of my. Juana, you know, we. She was holding it down for me when I was going through everything, and I feel like I lost myself, like, towards the end of my relationship and then the transition out of it, like, I basically shut down when it came to my business, and I have so much stuff lined up, and it's like, girl, you were. You was that girl before this relationship. Like, snap, get your ass back out there. Because you got so much. Like, God has blessed you with so many opportunities. And it took my two close friends and my business partner to say, listen, we've been holding it down. It's time to get yourself back together. Like, I had accountability partners, and I'm truly blessed for my friends Joanna and Christina, because they. They pull me back in. Like, look what you built. You had all this before, Chad. Like, get yourself together. You have so many people looking up for you. You. You are home developer. You about to build townhomes, something that, you know, a lot of women have. Are not, you know, into. Are not doing. Like, so many people look up to you. Get yourself together and. And let's get back on it.

[Portia Berto]

So. But to be fair, I had to throw in the ocho bubble.

[Friend]

Yeah.

[Portia Berto]

You know what I mean?

[Friend]

I was in the ocho bubble, maybe.

[Portia Berto]

Like, ocho and real grew up to be. That was a thing. You know what I mean? And when you in the bubble, it's just safe. It's warm. You got snacks. It's nice in the bubble. You know what I mean? It's comfortable. It's your man. Like, it's. You was in the ultra.

[Advertiser]

It's okay.

[Portia Berto]

It's okay.

[Friend]

And it. And it's hard to, like, pull out of it and readapt to get your identity back by yourself. I'm not gonna lie. I ain't gonna sit here and say, you know, I Was holding it down by myself when I was comfortable, I was safe. It was. It was peace during that time. But then when it was time to transition now and get back, it was hardest. Hey, I had my friend. I'm. Thank God I have great accountability.

[Portia Berto]

I had so much to pick up, you know what I mean? It was just like it almost like it stacked up too much on you, you know what I mean? So, I mean, you had back you doing your thing, Christina?

[Friend]

Yeah, my girls talking together. So the next. Did your friend group support your decision to leave or did you feel judged or stand too long?

[Portia Berto]

Ooh, never feel judged for doing nothing. Because all my homegirls going through the same shit.

[Friend]

That's the thing. Like, nobody can judge anyone when it comes to a relationship because they go through the same stuff when they're in those shoes. That's what I don't understand why people be out here yapping and typing up on Instagram when they out here. Oh, he cheated on you. Young man over there cheating right now.

[Portia Berto]

As you say in your car.

[Friend]

They did this.

[Portia Berto]

Which old money? Like, stop it. Cut it out. Because I'm gonna tell you this. I have not. I have not dated a lot of men with money. I will say, unfortunately, I used to have an affinity for broke niggas. Wait, wait, hold on. I did though. This is true. Not proud of it, but I did. I'm just a. Love is love. Like, you just. You make me happy. This is great. Oh, my God, you're jobless. But how. At. How creative you are. Like, I was like.

[Friend]

He used to drive your car, girl, you don't have any.

[Portia Berto]

Now, listen, Shirell. No, what the point is, whether they got. Whether they coined up or he work at the post office or he work at the Hooters or the Herz or the Enterprise, they gonna do what they do. You understand what I'm saying? Like, it's not like this one. Don't do it more because he has this and this one.

[Friend]

No.

[Portia Berto]

If it's in you to do that, if you have no self control, if you have no discipline, you gonna cheat and you gonna be raggedy. It really doesn't matter. You know what I mean? So it's just like when they see, you know, women going through things or like, you know, they make assumptions about you and Chad and make assumptions about Keita and. Oh, wait, I thought he was gonna do this. And he like, girl, hush. You getting cheated on and he's dropped and you come on now, like, let's just keep it cute. So no I don't ever feel judged by anything because, I mean, the previous relationship. I call it our previous relationship when it was giving situationship and we were just immature and back and forth and doing all of that mess. Like, I never felt judged about any of that because I was going through the same stuff everybody else was going through, just on a different scale. You know, my makeups was a little bit better than everybody else. Makeups. You know, I got vacations, but, bitch, I was still crying. It's still the same.

[Friend]

You was crying in that Bentley in a wraith. But, yes, there were tears.

[Portia Berto]

There were tears. No. Yeah, but you know what? That year and a half fixed us right on up.

[Friend]

And now y' all beautifully.

[Portia Berto]

Yep, I'm gonna play them games.

[Friend]

Let's give a little advice for women navigating toxic breakups. Here's some advice. Don't seek closure from chaos. You may never get the apology, the clarity, or the explanation. Create your own peace. Reclaim your narrative. You are not the worst thing someone did to you. Reframe your story with power and compassion.

[Portia Berto]

Let me tell you how bad I am at breakups, and I'm gonna tell you why I'm bad at breakups. And it could be, I heard this is like a Scorpio trait. But I also.

[Friend]

Just.

[Portia Berto]

I heard that there are people, when they go through breakups, some of them were just really impatient. And I'm one of those people, like, in my mind, if I want to break up with you, I've already thought about it, like, this is months in the making. I've been like, I cannot deal with this shit. Like, you are irking me, bro. I want to break up. So by the time I come to you and I tell you I want to break up, it's, like, news to you. But then if you give me too much, I'm like, oh, my God, did you hear me? I'm done. I just get so impatient and kind of. Kind of bitchy. And I'm not good at breakups. I'm not good at them. I'm not good at them. I don't think. I've ain't never had no smooth, amicable, mature girl. All of my breakups was childish. Every last one of them.

[Friend]

I think my breakup was childish, too, Mommy. It was a little childish.

[Portia Berto]

I ain't gonna lie, friend. It was a little childish. You have a little Internet tussle.

[Friend]

We gonna get.

[Advertiser]

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It's Wednesday night after a long day and the last thing you want to.

[Portia Berto]

Do is cook dinner from scratch.

[Advertiser]

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Presents painful thoughts 20 more minutes to kill in the pharmacy before my prescription is ready. Maybe I'll grab some deeply discounted out of season Halloween candy. I never had a chocolate pumpkin with raisins before. Those were raisins, right?

[Portia Berto]

Next time use Amazon Pharmacy. We deliver. And no, those were not raisins.

[Friend]

Amazon Pharmacy Healthcare just got less painful.

[Portia Berto]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast.