Humble Baddies - Part 2: She Ain’t a Girls’ Girl + A Mailbag To Remember

Summary

Podcast Summary: Club Shay Shay - Humble Baddies - Part 2: She Ain’t a Girls’ Girl + A Mailbag To Remember

Release Date: July 4, 2025
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts and Shay Shay Media
Description: NFL legend Shannon Sharpe—3x Super Bowl champion and member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame—sits down with the biggest athletes, celebrities, and influencers to discuss their accomplishments, challenges, and everything in-between.

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1. Exploring the Impact of Social Media Algorithms

The episode kicks off with Portia and co-hosts Ashley and Cherelle delving into the pervasive influence of social media algorithms on personal perspectives and societal biases. They discuss how algorithms can create echo chambers, reinforcing existing beliefs and polarizing opinions.

Notable Quote:

Portia (02:00): “I think it's making people lazy, but I also feel like the algorithm is just making people extremely biased because it feeds you what you want to see.”

The conversation highlights a specific case involving Cassie and Diddy, illustrating how algorithms can present contrasting narratives based on the user's profile, leading to vastly different interpretations of the same situation.

Notable Quote:

Ashley (02:30): “Everyone's supporting a victim. Everyone is saying, like, they're championing her. They're cheering for her... But I'm a woman, you know?”

2. Cancel Culture: R. Kelly and Kanye West

The hosts transition into a discussion on cancel culture, focusing on high-profile cases like R. Kelly and Kanye West. They examine the societal shift in holding celebrities accountable for their actions and the complexities involved in public backlash.

Notable Quote:

Ashley (05:01): “I feel like everybody did cancel R. Kelly. Like, that was for our generation.”

Portia shares her personal connection to R. Kelly's music and her internal conflict regarding his actions, emphasizing the difficulty of separating art from the artist.

Notable Quote:

Portia (05:11): “I was raised on his music... He’s a musical genius to me. Obviously, a very disturbed individual, but I don't put that much weight into my... into celebrities.”

The discussion then shifts to Kanye West, where Ashley expresses hope for his redemption, contrasting it with the near-universal condemnation R. Kelly faced.

Notable Quote:

Ashley (08:28): “I feel like he should be on the cancel list, but for some reason, I feel like I have hope for him.”

3. The Challenges of Reality TV in Showcasing Relationships

Portia, Ashley, and Cherelle explore the dynamics of couples reality TV shows, citing examples like Nelly and Ashanti's venture into reality television. They debate whether exposing personal relationships on such platforms is beneficial or detrimental.

Notable Quote:

Ashley (09:48): “I don't know. I feel like if I had complete control over the narrative, then I would be comfortable. I would. But given that most times you don't in these situations, I would not.”

Portia raises concerns about misinterpretations of on-screen interactions, emphasizing that private moments can be misconstrued by the public, leading to unwarranted judgments.

Notable Quote:

Portia (11:02): “If something does happen, if anything were to come out and it would have us arguing, it absolutely would not be worth it.”

4. Defining 'Girls' Girls' and Navigating Friendships

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to defining what it means to be a "girls’ girl" versus encountering "frenemies." The hosts share personal experiences and criteria for identifying genuine friendships versus superficial or toxic relationships.

Notable Quote:

Ashley (18:15): “A girl's girl... someone that's not looking for something in return. Like a friend that's gonna be there for you, support you, and not look for nothing benefits.”

Cherelle elaborates on the selfless nature of true friendships, emphasizing support without ulterior motives.

Notable Quote:

Cherelle (19:41): “They have your back. That's what a girl's girl is to me.”

Portia contrasts this with friends who may appear supportive publicly but lack genuine connection, leading to feelings of betrayal and distrust.

Notable Quote:

Portia (25:39): “I have Different areas where I put them in my friendship, in my life... A lot of women are surrounded by those types.”

5. Handling Toxic Friendships and 'Frenemies'

The conversation deepens as the hosts discuss strategies for dealing with insincere friends. They advocate for setting boundaries, confronting issues directly, or gradually distancing oneself from toxic relationships to maintain personal well-being.

Notable Quote:

Ashley (35:34): “I'm still learning. Lord Jesus.”

Cherelle shares insights on managing expectations and accepting that not everyone is willing to change, emphasizing the importance of self-preservation.

Notable Quote:

Cherelle (35:45): “You can't expect yourself out of people. So that's what it is.”

6. Mailbag: Chris's Dilemma with Infidelity

In a poignant mailbag segment, the hosts address a letter from Chris, who shares her struggle with guilt after an encounter with a married man at a party. She is torn between confessing the incident to the man's wife or bearing the emotional burden in silence.

Segment Overview: Chris recounts a night where she was involved with a married man, leading to feelings of disgust and regret upon discovering his marital status. She grapples with whether to reveal the truth to his wife or keep it to herself.

Notable Quotes:

Cherelle (43:07): “This is what I want to know. Chris, as you said, should you. Should you tell or should you just live with the guilt?”

Portia (46:10): “I don't know, Chris. I just...”

The discussion navigates the ethical implications of telling the truth versus the potential fallout of disrupting a marriage, exploring themes of responsibility, honesty, and emotional healing.

Notable Quote:

Cherelle (46:38): “It's sad. People need to know. Y'all need to go get checked.”

The hosts conclude by reinforcing the importance of accountability and the personal toll of such situations, urging Chris to make a decision that aligns with her values and seek professional guidance if needed.

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Conclusion

"Humble Baddies - Part 2" offers a candid exploration of contemporary social issues, from the psychological impact of social media algorithms to the nuanced dynamics of friendships and the moral complexities of personal relationships. Portia, Ashley, and Cherelle engage in heartfelt and honest dialogues, providing listeners with relatable insights and practical advice for navigating the challenges of modern life.

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Connect with Humble Baddies:

• Instagram:

  • Cherelle Rosado: @cherellerosado_
  • Ashley: @ash3nicole
  • Portia Berto: @portia_berto

• Shop: badgoodmomshop.com
  Use code "humble baddies" for 20% off.

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Transcript

[Portia]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[DJ Wells]

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[Portia]

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[Ashley]

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[Portia]

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[Cherelle]

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[Portia]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

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[Portia]

Plan equivalent to 15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com I think it's making people lazy, but I also feel like the algorithm is just making people extremely biased because it feeds you what you want to see. So at times me and Andre, we will be talking about the Diddy case and he'd be like, man, everybody's going in on Cassie, man. Everybody's saying this, everybody's saying that. Everybody's saying that's what she wanted and she was complicit and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Because on my algorithm, on my phone, everyone's supporting a victim. Everyone is saying, like, they're championing her. They're cheering for her. They're this, that. But I'm a woman, you know? You understand what I'm saying? So it's like, I would love to see, like, we look at all the same stuff, we follow all the same people, but I bet you the stuff that's being fed to him is completely different from what's being fed to me. And it's biased. And they're showing you what either you want to see or what you engage with the most. And it was crazy how we both had this. This perspective of, like, overwhelming support for opposite sides or just like, you know, he's basically just a bunch of men just saying, you know. You know what men say? Oh, you can't do anything. They're going to put you in jail for this, and they're going to put you in jail for that. And then my side is just like, oh, she's a woman. He's a. He's a beater. He's an abuser. He's a. And we were. We were both right. That's what we were seeing. All he saw was that, and all I saw was that.

[Cherelle]

Yeah, it's like, it just.

[Portia]

I don't know if it's making you lazy or if it's just validating you, but not for the right reasons. Just validating every thought.

[Ashley]

Talking about anything, and then it just pops up on your phone. I don't like that. It's kind of scary.

[Portia]

It's very scary. You know what I like to do sometimes? Sometimes I like to think about something and I don't say it because I want to see it.

[Cherelle]

Who gonna say it? Who gonna say it?

[Portia]

I'm gonna see if it pops up on my phone. I swear. They got.

[Cherelle]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Portia]

Running through our brains or something. I'm a conspiracy theorist, y'.

[Ashley]

All.

[Cherelle]

But the thing about it, every time you say something, it's crazy. You pick up your phone and it's there. You could talk about something. I feel like just.

[Portia]

No, but it is a setting on the phone. They tell you they're open about it. Listen.

[Ashley]

Your microphone is on listening. And the way they're using the information is just kind of. Kind of. I don't know it's helpful when we need it because I be chat gpting the hell out of my. But right other than that, you know what I'm saying? The whole listening to everything is a little creepy.

[Cherelle]

My last question. Have y' all ever counseled somebody based on something viral, then found out it wasn't even true? Let's be real. No.

[Ashley]

I don't think I've canceled anybody.

[Portia]

I don't know that I have canceled anybody. I feel like if I did, it would take me a lot to cancel somebody because I generally don't care about other people's lives that much.

[Ashley]

I feel like everybody did cancel R. Kelly.

[Portia]

I did not.

[Ashley]

Like, that was for our generation. I feel like that was the first big. Like, no, no. Like he messed up. I feel like everybody listening.

[Cherelle]

We listening, baby. I was still playing Chocolate Factory.

[Portia]

Wanna know what's so crazy? The stuff that he was accused of when we were kids is worse than what he actually got locked up for. And nobody, nobody cared. You understand what I'm saying? So it's like everybody should have hardcore cared back then. Our older siblings, our parents. Everybody should have really cared back then. When it was video evidence and he.

[Cherelle]

Was doing them, he was public, especially with elite.

[Portia]

And I'm just like. Like, I'm in very unpopular and I don't say this to people anymore. But, like, prior to all this stuff happening, I would have told you that R. Kelly is hands down my favorite artist ever. I was raised on his music. I was raised on it like, he's a musical genius to me. Obviously a very disturbed individual, But I don't put that much weight into my. Into celebrities. Like, man, I like his music. When I thought about. When I sang his music, I had not once ever thought about what he was doing.

[Cherelle]

What was your favorite song? Hit it one time.

[Portia]

Nope. Say, there you go. You think you finna trip me up and have me on here singing R. Kelly, this bitch is trying to get me canceled.

[Ashley]

Get you canceled, girl.

[Portia]

Well, cancel me. No, I don't think I ever canceled him because I was not checking for him like that. I didn't think about him like that. And I wasn't just. I don't know. I wasn't publicly. I don't know. I just wasn't like, I thought it was.

[Cherelle]

It was.

[Portia]

It was sad and it was wrong, but I was not one of those people with a pitchfork with the fire and. You know what I mean?

[Ashley]

Had all his CDs.

[Portia]

I could song come on and be like, okay, now step in the Name of love. I was. I just wasn't. I wasn't thinking about. But I'm also. He ain't babysitting my kids. I ain't spending no time with him.

[Cherelle]

I don't think.

[Ashley]

I feel like, yeah, I don't think we. I've canceled anybody, but that's, like, the only person I can think of that I feel like collectively, everybody was like, oh, yeah, we're on the same page. Don't play his music anymore. Blah, blah, blah. But we all really wanted to. You down?

[Portia]

I. I think they canceled him. I've never been to a party. We didn't play a little R. Kelly, Your other.

[Cherelle]

You meant your other side.

[Portia]

That's my other side. 35%.

[Ashley]

Okay, okay.

[Portia]

35.

[Cherelle]

Get it right, Cherelle. Portia is amazed.

[Portia]

I am. Yeah.

[Cherelle]

I can't think of anyone else that was. To that point as. As R. Kelly, our time. I can't think of anyone else.

[Portia]

Did you guys cancel Kanye?

[Ashley]

Like, he should. Definitely. I feel like he should be on the cancel list, but for some reason, I feel like I have hope for him. Like, one day he's gonna wake up and, like, apologize and go back to being old Kanye. I don't know. I just. For some reason, I'm holding a spot for him to just come back and redeem him.

[Cherelle]

Once Kanye got with Kim, he. It just went the other way. I just thought the now. The old, old Kanye. Before all. Before he was in relationships, I was listening to Kanye, but then it wasn't his. I had. I stopped, you know, listening to Kanye way before he started going on his little rant.

[Portia]

I still listen to his gospel album. I don't care if tick tock, say he is a fake Christian. I like it.

[Cherelle]

What's your favorite song?

[Portia]

Every hour. And I ain't gonna sing How I go.

[Ashley]

How I go.

[Cherelle]

All right.

[Portia]

You're a mess.

[Cherelle]

Look, speaking of public perception, let's talk about when your actual relationship becomes part of the storyline. We get it. Getting into now. Portia, Nelly and Ashanti love on camera or reality TV curse? Nelly and Ashanti are giving us love goals, and now they're dropping a reality show. But let's be honest. Well, they dropped the reality show. Reality TV and love is. It's a tricky combo. Definitely tricky. My question to y'. All. Would y' all do a. Just. Just you and your man, a couple's reality TV show?

[Ashley]

I don't know. I feel like if I had complete control over there it is the narrative, then I would be comfortable. I would. But given that most times you don't in these situations. I would not. I think in this day and age where reality TV is, although it has grown a lot, I still feel like there's not really a space they haven't made, a space for black love to really shine and be great. And I am not, you know, I have to protect my family, my relationship. And being on TV is not worth it to me. And I don't care, you know, how great, you know, even if, you know, we're good at home and what's shown on TV may not be true, I still feel like I want. If I'm. If I'm putting my family, you know, on the spotlight like that, I want them to see what we truly are. Because what's the point? You know what I mean? If the show really, truly is about, you know, your relationship and your family and you aren't going to show it in that light, then no, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it.

[Portia]

You know what? Even if, like, you do have an amazing relationship and you have a great home life, what you can always count on is that everybody is not going to agree with you. You'll be having a back and forth with your husband, and y' all just be joking about something. It goes on tv, and then all of a sudden, the entire world, you know, perceives a situation not the way that you guys would and convinces him or convinces you that you should be offended by something that he said or he should be offended by something you said. And I could easily, easily see something like that happening. You know what I mean? If that's just how y' all talk or that's just how y' all joke, and next thing you know, they on the Internet. Oh, she disrespectful to him. Oh, he disrespectful to her. Oh, my man would never. You sitting there looking at him like, but what happened, right?

[Cherelle]

We do nothing. This, us every day.

[Portia]

Like, should I be mad? But that's what happens when you. You open up your home to everyone, basically, because they don't. They don't know you intimately. They don't know how you guys are. And you're trying to do something positive and share your world, but that's not what they're watching for. I don't care what anybody says. They can say they want positivity, they want this, they want that. But the only thing that they cling to and the only thing that they willingly make content about is the bad stuff. Is the bad stuff. Even when Wags came Out. The only thing they willingly wanted to talk about was the stuff that was controversial. It's the only thing that was willingly given to the blogs was the bad stuff. And they ate it up. And we would post good stuff. There'd be good stuff on the show. You think anybody talks about that? No, they didn't. Not that there was enough of it, but they didn't talk about it, and they wouldn't have anyway. Honestly.

[Ashley]

That's true.

[Portia]

So I don't think. I don't think I would do it maybe if I had control, but that don't happen. But then again, maybe not, because I. I don't know. I like my marriage, and I'm happy, and I feel like that might make it unhappy.

[Cherelle]

It ain't no might. It will. I. I feel the same way. Like, I would not do a. Honestly, I wouldn't do a relationship type show ever again. And I wouldn't put. Do a spouse because they want to get the bad things. It's like people. There's people out there in that world that live off of breaking up happy homes or even exposing. Like you said before, Portia. Like, people will take how y' all communicate with each other and. And say. And basically say, oh, you're disrespecting. Oh, I would never wear this, that, and the third. And it. Have you sometime not even knowing it, you're questioning like, damn. So it's like, it's best just to keep. Keep it away, keep your relationship sacred, keep it with you and your spouse, and y' all love each other quietly in your home.

[Portia]

That TV is really not worth it. And it didn't really create any problems in my home life at all, but I could see it just wasn't worth it. I don't know. It just. If anything did happen, if anything were to come out and it would have us arguing, it absolutely would not be worth. Not even the pettiest argument. Not even for a second. It wouldn't be. No, that's true. But good luck to them.

[Cherelle]

Yes. Would you ever go public with your relationship for the world to judge? I'm never going public with my relationship ever again. Ever, Ever. All y' all gonna see is a hand. Y' all would not know who it is.

[Portia]

First is the hand, and then it's.

[Sonesta]

The sleeve, and then you get a little.

[Portia]

A little half of a face. That's how it starts, friend. But it's hard because when you in love, you want to tell everybody.

[Cherelle]

Yeah, I'm gonna tell y'. All. My friends, the people that I Know love me and support me. The world care about. They ready to see. Oh, she did. She. That she did. She cheated on her husband. She did. Y' all take little clips and. And create y' all old damn narrative. Y' all barely. Y' all gonna see which watch he wearing today. That's all y' all go see.

[Portia]

I mean, I think that's. That's smart for you.

[Cherelle]

It's very smart.

[Portia]

I think that's smart for you, which is also why I don't know why anybody thought the shoes with. Jeez. You would never just post up no.

[Cherelle]

Picture just on my main page like that.

[Portia]

Like, even if you was, why would you give him the juice like that, right? Would you make it a little bit more dramatic, A little bit more epic?

[Cherelle]

Exactly. If I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it now. If I'm gonna come out, I'm gonna come out.

[Portia]

The people don't know you, friend.

[Ashley]

They don't know you cannot post because you can't do nothing on social media right now. I wouldn't even post. His arm, his hand, whatever. You said. His wrist.

[Portia]

Oh, my gosh.

[Cherelle]

Watch.

[Ashley]

They're. They're gonna zoom in and then they're gonna, like. I don't know.

[Cherelle]

They'll never f. Never, right? Ever. Ever.

[Portia]

Speaking of relationships. Speaking of relationships and how they don't be what they seen online, do y' all ever have those friends that are kind of, like, not really friends, specifically girls. Like girls. Girls. Girls. Yeah, you do. Girls who kind of like, you know, like on the Internet, like, very supportive and like fiery emojis and. Yes. Queen and, you know, do the whole thing, but they're low key. Like, not really.

[Cherelle]

It's giving fake.

[Portia]

Yeah, it's. It's. Let's. Let's talk about that. Like, girls who don't clap for you when you win, girls who move funny around. You are, you know, publicly supportive, but privately just kind of like, not divide.

[Cherelle]

I think a lot of women, it's sad to say, a lot of women are surrounded by those type. And it's not just women, it's men as well. Those type of individuals.

[Ashley]

I call them frenemies.

[Portia]

Frenemies, definitely.

[Ashley]

Yeah, they're frenemies. You know, it's like they play nice, you know, in front of everybody, but really they have. I don't want to say ulterior motives, because sometimes it's just that they don't really with you. And it's not even that they have a problem with you. It's just they have A problem with themselves. But it, you know, they. They don't know how to be a friend because whatever it is, it's eating them up. They can't even be a friend.

[Portia]

First, let me say, what is a girl's girl like, by definition? What do you think? Like, when you meet a girl's girl and you know that she's one, what do you think she is? How is she?

[Ashley]

I feel like girl makes you feel good. Like, it makes. When you're around them, you feel like you can be yourself and you can have a good time. You're not worried about saying the right thing or saying the wrong thing or, you know, are they gonna, you know, talk about you when you walk out the room? Like, they, they. You feel, you leave feeling better than you. You came. I feel like their energy, y' all reciprocate energy. Like it just. It matches. You reciprocate in the energy, you're reciprocating the.

[DJ Wells]

The love.

[Ashley]

Like, it just feels good. I feel like it shouldn't even be complicated. I'm having a hard time explaining it because I really feel like it's a feeling more so than anything. You know what I mean? Like, you just know when you meet a girl's girl and you just know when, like, she's for you. You know what I mean? It's just a feeling.

[Cherelle]

I feel like a girl. Girl. Yes, that Ashley. And also someone that's not looking for something in return. Like a friend that's. That's gonna be there for you, support you, and not look for nothing benefits. Like, if I. If I'm doing something for you, it's because I'm doing it out of the kindness of my heart. I'm supporting you because I'm supporting. I'm not looking for something back or a girl's girl. They're going to support you regardless. Whatever it is, they have your back. That's what a girl's girl is to me.

[Portia]

Now, when I hear you two say that, all I'm thinking of is, that just sounds like a friend. Like, that's how I expect my friends to treat me, and that's how I want to treat my friends. When I hear girls, girl, I think about somebody that does that, like, with everyone, even if they're not really your friend. You know what I mean?

[Cherelle]

Like me, like, and I just like me, like, I'm a support women, I'm a support. I'm going to put them on, like, give you the.

[Portia]

The book.

[Cherelle]

I'm gonna give you the whole play sheet. I'm gonna give you the whole play sheet whether you're my friend or not. If you, if a stranger reach out to me and people know because strangers have reached out to me and they, they ask for, I don't even charge them. I don't do any of that because I see that they have that drive they want, they want change. I'm not gonna do things for the benefit, for it to benefit me or to, to get clout. I have done a lot of things and I don't look for, you know, announcements on it or something out of it. That's what a girl's girls, a girl's girl is like. They, they help their next sister to that next level. If, if somebody reach out to you and help you, not just a friend, a girl's girl gonna support women regardless of who you are.

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[Portia]

I think that sometimes people want to have the title of being a girls girl, but they don't do stuff like that. But then also there's a lot of people who are a girls girl but then kind of get mislabeled because they just not in everybody face and they just not for everybody because I think that you can be a girl's girl but then also just not want to be fooled up with every damn body.

[Ashley]

Yeah, that's true. I think that's a good.

[Portia]

Yeah, I think that that can be okay. But I feel like you can tell like what's a red flag when you meet a girl and you just know she ain't.

[Ashley]

I saw this post today that remind me of this. So she was basically like, when she meets a girl, she and she wants to see, like, she wants to gauge, like, are they a girl's girl? Is this my type of girl? She'll ask them, do you like Beyonce? And she gauges their, you know, response off of it. So she's like, if they're like, oh, I love Beyonce. Like, you know, she's amazing, she's a super talented girl, blah blah blah, then of course, like, she's a girl score, right? But if she says like, oh, well, you know, I'm not really like into her like that, but you know, she has cool songs. Like, it doesn't mean she's not a girl's girl. It might be that she's like one of the girls you're talking about, Portia. Like, she's a girl's girl, but she everybody, she ain't for everybody. Everybody ain't for her type of girl, right? And then if she says she doesn't like Beyonce, she don't see why people like her so much. Everybody on her date, da da da. I'm not a girl's girl because it's like, you gotta give Beyonce props whether you like her or not. You know what I'm saying? You can't downplay Beyonce. I don't care. You just can't you can't. I feel like that's kind of like a cute way to like think about, you know, what you were talking about Portia in that question. Sheryl. I don't know.

[Portia]

I like that one. Because if you get up there, she can't even sing that good. She don't even be. Girl, shut up. Go to hell. Because.

[Ashley]

So if you go up there bashing Beyonce, then girl, come on, you.

[Cherelle]

Can'T get that girl her props.

[Ashley]

Then you might, you're. You can't be a girl's girl. You know what I'm saying? Like there's, it's not in.

[Portia]

You might be delusional. Yeah, I mean, you know what I think it is sometimes. You ever been around a girl who like especially. Oh, you can always tell when girls like if you're around a girl and you're around guys too, the girl that.

[Cherelle]

Like once all the attention or either.

[Portia]

Wants all the attention or like, like pokes fun at you to get like guys to, you know, you understand what I'm saying? Call out all the little stuff and be like, you know, tell people that, you know, those are my shoes. Or like just don't sit like that.

[Cherelle]

Girl, my dress look good on you today. You wearing my dress, girl.

[Portia]

Like shut up Stacy.

[Ashley]

Your rude ass.

[Portia]

Or just stuff like that just get away.

[Cherelle]

I've done, I've done been around a lot of women who are not girls, girls. And it's like, it got to a point where it was like they envy successful women so bad that they want to be in their lives. It was sickening. And I had to like really pray and ask God to remove like I started putting in my office everywhere, like in my car, everywhere. Because it was like at one point in my time, that's all I was attracting was like women who were not girls, girls. And it was just, it's a nasty.

[Portia]

Feeling because you know when you attract stuff like that is when. And it's not really them, it's really you. Girls like that when you are not fully like realizing what you are. When you don't realize how pretty you are, when you don't realize how nice your personality is, when you're just being yourself, but you're a little bit naive to what you have to offer because then you around these other women and they might be strong willed or they have like these strong personalities, but you realize that they low key kind of hate your guts.

[Cherelle]

And you know, you're right because I was just going through a big breakup. My ex husband, it was it was horrible. Like, it was. It was the worst. One of the worst times of my life. So it was. I wasn't thinking clearly. Like, my life was not together.

[Portia]

I was not, like, super secure. And you trying to figure things out, and they come into your life and you feel like they want friendship when really they want to be close to you so they can pick out what's wrong with you so they can feel better about themselves. Because there's a lot of times you're like, people will put you on a pedestal, right? And then when they talk to you, they want to see every hole. They want to that. Then they just start pointing out those little things and making those little jokes and those little backhanded compliments and stuff like that. That's because it makes them feel better. Because low key, you make them feel a way about themselves. And I noticed that anytime I was like, I get fooled up with a friend, and she low key wouldn't be my friend. It was always because I just did not realize what I had. And she thought more of me than what even I thought of myself, and she was basically punishing me for it. And it's just really weird how that happens, that once you start to feel better about your. You attract other women who also feel that way about themselves. And y' all just vibe, and it's easy, and nobody's insecure and everybody's pretty and everybody's smiling, and it's like. It's a completely different. I've. I've lived in both worlds.

[Cherelle]

It's sickening. And then the other thing I hate, like, when I see a beautiful. Well, I'm not gonna say that because.

[Ashley]

I want to hear it.

[Cherelle]

Y' all know, y' all see a woman that don't want to be around other beautiful women, they got to be the. They got to be the finest one in the crew. If another woman come that's cute. Oh, they gonna find any reason not to be around that girl.

[Ashley]

Yeah, I've seen that. I've seen. Yeah, I've been around friends, and they like. And their man might be around, and they don't want you to be, like, close.

[Cherelle]

Yes.

[Ashley]

And, like, just weird. Just weird stuff.

[Cherelle]

Like, girl, what do you think?

[Ashley]

Nobody want him. Girl. Like what? Yeah, it's the weirdest thing. Honestly, I don't. I mean, to be honest with y', all, like, the whole girls girl thing, like, I don't necessarily, like, resonate with being a girls girl myself, only because I feel like I've had it so hard with girls and friendships like, my whole life. So I've always only had, like, you know, one or two good friends. And, like, you know, I kind of. I'm not the friendliest girl. When you first meet me, you gotta warm up, you know, And I gotta warm up to you, and you gotta warm up to me. Like, so I don't fully resonate with being a girl's girl, but, I mean, I do feel like I know how to be a good friend, and I know I am a good friend. And so I take it really hard when I meet or I'm around girls who aren't that way. You know what I mean? Like, I really be offended.

[Cherelle]

Oh, yeah, we know you do, Ashley.

[Ashley]

Don't reciprocate the friendship. You know what I mean? Like, I have a big problem with it. And it's hard for me sometimes to just let them be them because that's ultimately what you got to do. You can't change anybody. But it's like, if I'm offering you, you know, this type of friendship, and especially if we've known each other for years and I am continuously being a good friend to you, and I am vocal about the kind of friendship that I would like to have, and you continuously don't do it, I really be offended. You know what I mean? So I don't know. I'm just. That's something that I personally, I guess, have to work on. That's like leaving people where they at. Because there's a lot of girls around here who try to, you know, act.

[Portia]

Like they like, that's you hea. That's social. I'm saying, like, she's super social. She. If you go be, oh, shirel, let's go meet for drink, she gonna bring eight people. And they all her friends, and they all.

[Ashley]

And I'm like, who's over there?

[Portia]

I'm not coming over there. Who is that? You know what I mean? So I feel.

[Cherelle]

But I'd be like, give him a chance.

[Portia]

But I feel what you're saying is, is you actually are because you're extremely generous. Like, you. Honestly, I get so much from my conversations with you guys. Like, y' all are very, very much pour into your friend, check on your friend. Super generous. Always. Either one of y', all, anytime I'm around her, y' all always are taking care of me, taking care of me, checking in on me. Like, like, you are a girl's girl. But I feel what you're saying because you're just not. Like, sometimes girls. Yeah, it's just like the. Hey, Girl, hey, but to everybody. And it's not always like that. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes that should be fraudulent, right? And that's fine too cool with everybody. But you're not. Yeah. So girls, it's different. You got your Cherelle type who is literally the most sociable heifer. She's good at networking. All the things that I'm like sucky. I'm. I don't remember people name. I'm bad at following up. I do not be networking. I will go in that, that little place with my friends. Don't talk to nobody. But my friend Shirelle is. Come on, come on, let's all connect. Let's do business. Let's have fun. Let's barbecue.

[Ashley]

Right?

[Cherelle]

Let's have our Sunday dinners. Everybody coming over. You welcome.

[Portia]

Ashley is just like, I'm finna keep these people right here because they're not gon stab me in the back. I'm gonna keep these little people over here because these are.

[Cherelle]

Now I have, I have different areas where I put them in my friendship, in my life. But I mean when it comes to like I sincerely love helping women in real life, like I sincerely love helping women. And if I have it, no matter who it is, I'm gonna give it to you who it is. And like you said, Ashley, some people are not like that. Some people like to say things and do things or bragging your face, but they don't. They just like to tell you what they got and, and carry on and meanwhile you could do everything for them. But as a friend, you want those things reciprocated as a, as a female. Like I, I'm not trying to take your spot. I'm not trying to do this. But I want some. I need some help. Like. Help.

[Ashley]

Yeah, but that's the part of friendship, you know, I think helping each other out. Like I have weaknesses that you're strong at and you always step in and be like, hey girl, call this number. You know, like that's what you're supposed to do. Like you're supposed to be around people who want to see you do better. And you should be around people who can help you. Otherwise what's the point?

[Cherelle]

Not just benefit off you.

[Ashley]

Exactly.

[Cherelle]

And that's the thing.

[Ashley]

There's takers. Takers, just takers don't have anything to give, don't have anything to offer. Just takers. But you know, they try to come off as like, you know, just friendly and loving and good vibes and positivity and it's all just a farce. It's just, it's not true. You know, when you get down to it, when you get down to it, and I'm telling you, I've been in so many situations. When you get down to the nitty gritty and you really need somebody to show up for you, those people, they don't because it's fake. They just want to look the part.

[Cherelle]

It's a lot of them out there. It's a lot of them.

[Ashley]

Yeah, I' ma just keep being my. I'm a girl's girl.

[Cherelle]

But how do, how do you deal with somebody who's who you consider a friend and you find out that they're not a girl's girl? How do you navigate with that person?

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[DJ Wells]

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[Portia]

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[Ashley]

Normally I would probably confront them. You know, I would bring up my issue and like I said, I get offended when my friends don't show up how they should or how I went for them. You know what I mean? So I would like confront them and be like, girl, what's up? Like, why did you do X, Y and Z? And, you know, we would talk it out and normally I feel like they would hear me. But nothing really changes because at the end of the day, people are who they are and they're going to do what they want to do and they're going to show up how they want to show up. And I got to stop expecting them to show up how I want you out of them.

[Portia]

This might not be the right thing to do, but I feel like I have this habit of, like, kind of just letting things go on and on and on and on until one day I'm just done with you. And you don't know why. Like, I have a really bad habit of, like. But I'm also the person of, like, unlimited chances. And I just, I. My husband always jokes that I'm like everyone's biggest cheerleader and I cheer for my friends real loud. You know what I mean? I'm so proud of my friends. I show up to the events, I do they stuff, I walk in they fashion pictures, I buy they stuff, I do they stuff, I do all the stuff, right? And sometimes depending on who the friend is, he'll be like, you know, like, she really don't. She really don't return that energy. Like, she loves to take it. She loves to ask you for favors. She loves to ask you to come over and hold her hand and pray with her and come to her event and do this and do that, but she doesn't really show up for you and your special moments. And she's not posting your stuff on Instagram and she's not commenting and she's not mentioning your name in rooms and hooking. You know what I mean? And he is always. And I hate it when he's right, right, Always the person to point it out to me. And then I, you know, I gotta see it more. And I just let it just go on and on and on until one day I'm just, all right, then, girl, it is what it is. And I will really just. I disappear on people.

[Ashley]

I'll.

[Portia]

I'll fade into.

[Cherelle]

I will go like this.

[Portia]

Like, Homer behind the thing.

[Cherelle]

Look.

[Portia]

Like I'm done. My cutoff game is strong. And Cheryl, no, I will stop talking to people.

[Cherelle]

I'd be like, Portia, I be feeling bad for the thing. Portia.

[Portia]

Because I'm. Because I'm nice, bro. I'm nice to people. So when people try me, I'm like, no, what in the hell did I do to you?

[Cherelle]

And I done.

[Portia]

Because life is short. I don't have time. I don't have time for people.

[Cherelle]

I think. I think I used to be like that, but now I deal with people accordingly. Like, okay, this is how you are. You're not gonna change. Especially if I've spoken to you about the situation over and over and you still do the same, give the same results. Then I just deal with you on a associate type situation. I'm not gonna press myself on you. I'm not gonna force you to change. If. If that's what it is, that's what it is. And move accordingly. Because, I mean, at this big, you should know how. How it feels to be, you know, to be treated. So why are you. If I. If we don't do that to you? If I don't do that to you, why would you do that to me? You know what?

[Portia]

Y' all be unfollowing people on Instagram. Like, when you got a friend, but y' all have no falling out.

[Cherelle]

Yeah, it was.

[Portia]

There was no falling out. But you just like, yeah, this ain't it. Y' all unfollowing or you keep a courtesy follow?

[Ashley]

I put them on mute until. I don't know.

[Portia]

I got a couple people I'm ready to unfollow. Like, not because they did anything wrong, but because, like, we're not friends. You understand what I'm saying? Like, we know each other. We may have had. We may have been cool at one point, but, like, we don't communicate over dm. You don't like my stuff, I don't like your stuff. We ain't commenting. We don't hang. We don't text. We don't call. We just know each other. Why are we following each other? Why do I follow you?

[Cherelle]

Because they want to be known, but we're not.

[Portia]

But I'm following them, too. And I'm just like. You know, it's almost like There is no problem. But if we don't follow each other, then there might be a problem. Or you might think there's a problem, and there's not. I just don't need to follow you.

[Cherelle]

Some people take social media.

[Portia]

I guess I'm one of those people. Why can't I just unfollow these people? I gotta grow some balls.

[Ashley]

I just see mutant people. I meet people all the time. And then sometimes I go through my meeting. It's like, damn, it's crazy.

[Cherelle]

It's crazy. That's what we got to deal with. We got to move on. Because, you know, you can't teach a friend to be a girl's girl. You can't teach a friend to be a good friend. You just move accordingly. And that's the conversation. I think we spoke about this, Ashley, before. You can't expect yourself out of people. So that's what it is.

[Ashley]

I'm learning. I'm still learning. Lord Jesus.

[Cherelle]

But, y'. All. Now it's time to get into Humble Betty's Meal, and we got some. Oh, juicy, juicy juice coming in.

[Portia]

Juicy juice.

[Ashley]

It's a little.

[Cherelle]

It's a little messy.

[Ashley]

Okay, let's go.

[Cherelle]

It happened in the bathroom. And he's married. Dear humble baddies, I've been holding this in, and it's eating me alive. I need space, to be honest, because I don't even recognize myself right now. I was at a party a few weekends ago. The energy was fun, the drinks were flowing, and everyone was vibing. At some point during the night, this guy started flirting with me. I wasn't sure what was happening at first. I've never looked at a man that way. But he was bold, he was charming. And before I knew it, we ended up in the bathroom. And things went further than I imagined. It was quick, messy, confusing. And it was over. I felt sick. Not because of what I did, but because I found out he was married. His wife later came to the party that day, and that's how I found out. Since that night, I've been spiraling. I don't know if it was curiosity, suppressed feelings, or just a stupid mistake. All I know is I feel disgusted with myself. Not because of the guy, but because I crossed a line in. In his marriage. So now I'm stuck with this question. Do I tell his wife the truth and risk breaking everything, or do I carry this guilt in silence? Try to better move or try to be better moving forward. Sign. Chris.

[Ashley]

Listen.

[Portia]

Plot twist. Okay.

[Ashley]

That'S a lot. And nasty, because how you just end up in the bathroom with a stranger like that.

[Portia]

Chris said.

[Cherelle]

Chris said it was messy.

[Ashley]

Oh, Chris don't have no like. Like, y' all really just meeting people and going in the bathroom.

[Cherelle]

I have a lot of. I have a lot of male gay friends, and they are very spontaneous when it comes to you.

[Portia]

Want to know why? Because even though they're gay, they're still men. And what man do you know that? If you just walked up to him and was just like, hey, what's going on?

[Cherelle]

But the man. So the husband was on the COVID because the husband had a wife and the wife was at the party.

[Portia]

This is what I want to know. Chris, as you said, should you. Should you tell or should you just live with the guilt? I just want to know, are you still going to feel guilty even if you tell her? Like, how does that take the guilt away?

[Cherelle]

It sound like Chris want that man.

[Ashley]

Why would he tell the wife? Like, that's not his responsibility.

[Portia]

It's not his responsibility. I dare say that he would be doing the Lord's work, because if he's undercover, you better tell that lady.

[Ashley]

Yeah, but that's. That's gonna change up everybody's world. You know what I'm saying? And I feel like.

[Cherelle]

That'S just messy.

[Ashley]

Yeah. I don't think he should tell the wife. I think husband need to come.

[Cherelle]

Come out that closet and stop playing around like that. Because there's so many. Especially in Texas. You. Did y' all see the. The rates of hiv?

[Portia]

Did you repost that? Who posted that? Are you posted that?

[Cherelle]

Because it's sad. It like, people need to know. Y' all need to go get checked. Y' all need to stop fooling around like this. Chris and. And the husband in the closet.

[Ashley]

I don't know. This situation. That's a lot, I don't think. I just. I don't know. I don't. I don't think that he should tell the wife, but the wife needs to know. The husband needs to just tell his.

[Cherelle]

Wife because the husband is this. This couldn't have been his first time messing with.

[Ashley]

Not if all it took was a look and they was in the bathroom two seconds later. He then did this before a few times.

[Portia]

Listen, the men's. That testosterone be going okay? They be ready to go. They say we don't need to do.

[Cherelle]

All that chit chatting by any means. Let's go.

[Portia]

I don't know. I'm torn. I feel like. I feel bad for her. I feel like somebody need to tell her. She might not do.

[Cherelle]

Y' all think she knows. She gotta know.

[Ashley]

Then what do you do with that information? Like, oh, my God, I would stick to my stomach.

[Portia]

Why you playing with me? You don't like me, bro.

[Ashley]

Everything, like, your whole world. Like, I just.

[Portia]

I. I just be grateful that I knew so then I could go find me somebody who liked what I got.

[Cherelle]

Yeah, because maybe he like. Maybe he like what you got, but it's in the bag.

[Portia]

Cheryl. Oh, so real.

[Ashley]

A lot. But shame on husband.

[Cherelle]

Husband is in the wrong. Aaron, the husband should be feeling guilty because I'm sure Chris, this is not his first time doing this. He probably take advantage of a lot of these males and he want his cake and 82. And he needs to come out the closet and face reality that he like boys.

[Portia]

I don't know, Chris. I just.

[Ashley]

In the bathroom at a party that your wife is at, like, you got.

[Portia]

She got to be more careful, baby.

[Ashley]

More than him just being down low. Like, he has a problem if he has to go and have sex in the bathroom at a party that his wife is currently in. Like, that's sex addiction or something. It's like more than.

[Portia]

I feel like a lot of men have that problem.

[Cherelle]

What the problem with which.

[Portia]

The problem with just random hookups with people. Irresponsible ass just want to put their thing.

[Ashley]

You can't control yourself. You can't control your urges. I think that's sex addiction. So he need to go to the DL therapist and the sex addiction therapist.

[Portia]

Well, I say Chris probably got to go see somebody too, because he went in there now. He went too.

[Cherelle]

Yeah, I was trying to find my little boo boo boo. I was. I was gonna option it on online. What them things Serenity got 15 said.

[Ashley]

That the Labuhus might be demonic.

[Cherelle]

Oh, they gotta get the hell up out of here. They are going for sale. I am optioning tomorrow.

[Portia]

What they used to say, like those kids. What was the ones that we had that looked like little gremlins? Was they Furbies?

[Cherelle]

Oh, yeah, it was the Furbies. The Furby dolls.

[Portia]

Because I thought them little things were scary, too.

[Cherelle]

Well, Chris, we don't know what to tell you, honey child. Y' all need to get y' all lives together over there.

[Portia]

I say tell that lady.

[Cherelle]

You. You think he should tell him that?

[Portia]

Tell that lady no nonsense.

[Cherelle]

Conflicted and crumbling. Ain't nothing conflicted and crumbling, Chris, for that booty hole.

[Portia]

You know what they say, Chris, Sometimes your soul mate is married to somebody else. Go get your mattress.

[Cherelle]

Oh, I don't want that type of stuff.

[Portia]

I don't either. But if you catch my soulmate in the bathroom, you damn sure better tell.

[Cherelle]

Me you can.

[Portia]

Play with me like that, Chris. Okay, you let me know.

[Ashley]

All right, you guys.

[Cherelle]

Krista. Krista ruined the night for us. That is the end of Humble Baddies. We had an amazing time. The chats were great. Until next time. We will be back live Monday. Until then, make sure you guys subscribe to Humble Baddies podcast. Tell your cousin. Tell your side chick. Tell your side bathroom dude. Subscribe to Humble Baby. Humble Baddies Podcast. Also follow us at Humble Baddies Podcast on Instagram. You can find me Cherelle Rosado underscore on Instagram.

[Ashley]

I'm ash3nicole@portia berto.

[Cherelle]

Period. And bad.

[Portia]

Oh, and bad. Good mom, y'.

[Cherelle]

All.

[Portia]

Go to badgoodmomshop.com use your code humble baddies for 20 off for all my girls. Get you a hat, a shirt or something? A mug, a wine glass.

[Cherelle]

Look, Can I get $10? Can I just get $10 if I sell a few? I just need $10.

[Portia]

Yeah, sure. Whatever you need, friend. I mean, I'm joking, friend.

[Ashley]

I'm joking.

[Cherelle]

Until next time, guys. We love y'.

[DJ Wells]

All.

[Cherelle]

We out this.

[Ashley]

Bye.

[DJ Wells]

Yo, this is DJ Wells from Club 520 podcast. Draft night ain't just about who goes number one. It's about how you show up. And JD Sports is where the future of the league gets laced up. Whether it's Dylan Harper's tenacious two way play or Trey Johnson, sharpshooter from deep down south, JD's got the gear to match every draft story. From exclusive kicks to player collabs, JD Sports is the plug for the next level style. So while the league's getting younger, your fix getting fresher. JD Sports, where the game meets the streets. Visit jdsports.com to check out their new collection or download the JD app today.

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[Portia]

This is an iHeart podcast.