Humble Baddies - Part 2: Sugar Daddy Season + Delusional Dating

Summary

Podcast Summary: Club Shay Shay – "Humble Baddies - Part 2: Sugar Daddy Season + Delusional Dating"

Episode Information:

• Title: Humble Baddies - Part 2: Sugar Daddy Season + Delusional Dating
• Release Date: May 13, 2025
• Hosts: Cherelle, Sheryl, and Alexis from Humble Baddies Podcast

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Introduction to Sugar Daddy Season

The episode kicks off with Cherelle announcing the start of "Sugar Daddy Season," highlighting its trending status on social media platforms like Twitter.

Cherelle [02:13]: "All right y'all. It's been trending on Twitter. Sugar Daddy season has started."

Defining Key Terms: Sugar Daddy, Trick, and Generous Man

The hosts delve into distinguishing between a sugar daddy, a trick, and a genuinely generous man. This segment aims to clarify misconceptions and set clear boundaries in such relationships.

Cherelle [02:55]: "What's the difference between a sugar daddy, a trick, and a generous man?"

Alexis [04:03]: "Yeah, companionship."

Sheryl [04:28]: "But let's be clear, I did not know it's a season."

The discussion emphasizes that while a sugar daddy relationship is often transactional, a generous man offers support without expecting anything in return.

Alexis [06:28]: "That's called prostitution."

Cherelle [05:06]: "You know, the institution is with different. You have different."

The Bare Minimum of a Sugar Daddy

The conversation shifts to what constitutes the minimum expectations from a sugar daddy, debating whether it's about covering bills like rent or providing luxuries such as trips.

Sheryl [12:00]: "Hair, nails, lunch, dinner. No, no, no."

Alexis [12:29]: "If you're training a man and he's your sugar daddy, he needs..."

The hosts agree that a true sugar daddy should offer significant financial support, not just minor benefits.

Scenarios and Personal Experiences

Listeners are presented with real-life scenarios to illustrate common situations in sugar daddy relationships, offering insights and advice on handling them.

Scenario 1 [26:27]: Alexis discusses the potential for sugar daddies to have multiple sugar babies simultaneously.

Alexis [20:12]: "Thank you for calling Amica Insurance."

Cherelle [22:44]: "That's the worst."

Emotional vs. Transactional Relationships

The hosts explore whether relationships with sugar daddies can evolve beyond mere transactions into emotional connections, discussing boundaries and personal intentions.

Alexis [16:07]: "That's what I'm saying. That's tricking and what you talking about?"

Cherelle [17:59]: "Insurance, we know it's more than just a car."

Sheryl [19:35]: "That means make out money to spend."

Delusional Dating: Optimism vs. Delusion

A significant portion of the episode addresses "delusional dating," where optimism in relationships crosses into unrealistic expectations, leading to unhealthy dynamics.

Sheryl [42:21]: "Intro to our last segment of the night."

Alexis [43:01]: "So when does being optimistic in dating turn into full-blown delusion?"

Sheryl [44:01]: "I enjoy being optimistic though."

The discussion highlights signs of delusional thinking in dating, such as ignoring red flags or holding onto relationships that lack genuine commitment.

Helping Friends Navigate Delulu Situations

The hosts provide strategies for supporting friends who may be stuck in delusional relationship patterns, emphasizing empathy and honest communication.

Sheryl [51:41]: "If they don't ask me, yeah, I'm..."

Alexis [54:00]: "I'm the type of person that I have to hold back what I truly think and feel about situations."

Cherelle [55:07]: "People go through that."

The segment underscores the importance of setting boundaries while offering support to friends in need.

Conclusion

Cherelle, Sheryl, and Alexis wrap up the episode by encouraging listeners to reflect on their relationship expectations and to support peers navigating complex dating landscapes. They reiterate the importance of distinguishing between transactional and genuinely supportive relationships.

Cherelle [55:07]: "We hope we answer some of your questions."

Sheryl [55:50]: "Summer on the south side of Chicago is heating up."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Cherelle [02:24]: "Not all sugar is sweet."
• Alexis [04:03]: "That's called prostitution."
• Sheryl [19:35]: "Sugar daddy is paying the mortgage, the car note."
• Alexis [43:01]: "What does being optimistic in dating turn into? Full blown delusion?"
• Sheryl [44:41]: "I disagree with that."

---

Key Insights:

1. Understanding Dynamics: Differentiating between sugar daddies, tricks, and generous men is crucial for setting personal boundaries and expectations.
2. Emotional Boundaries: Maintaining clear emotional boundaries helps prevent transactional relationships from becoming unhealthy.
3. Recognizing Red Flags: Identifying signs of delusional dating can save individuals from entering or staying in unfulfilling relationships.
4. Supporting Peers: Honest and empathetic communication is essential when assisting friends in delusional relationship patterns.

Conclusion: "Humble Baddies - Part 2" offers a comprehensive exploration of sugar daddy relationships and the fine line between optimism and delusion in dating. Through candid discussions and relatable scenarios, the hosts provide valuable insights for listeners navigating the complexities of modern relationships.

Transcript

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[Cherelle]

All right y' all. It's been trending on Twitter. Sugar Daddy season is has started.

[Alexis]

Not sugar daddy season. They still sugar daddies out there.

[Sheryl]

It's still sugar daddy.

[Cherelle]

It's giving tuition paid. It's giving roof top every Sunday. It's giving. I've never seen a bill in my life. Ladies, welcome to Sugar Daddy season. The sun is out, the wallets are open and the girls are choosing.

[Sheryl]

But let's be clear, I did not know it's a season.

[Cherelle]

Not all sugar is sweet. So tonight we're breaking down the art rules and the red flags of the sugar daddy game. So we're going to start off with five juicy questions before we go into sugar daddy season.

[Alexis]

The first.

[Sheryl]

Okay, okay.

[Cherelle]

What's the difference between a sugar daddy, a trick and a generous man?

[Alexis]

I think a sugar daddy, like when you, when a man just really gets off on giving a lady whatever she wants, like money wise and she don't have to do anything.

[Sheryl]

Right. No, I disagree. I feel like it's an older, it's an older gentleman with a younger lady or since we're talking about shitty dads. Correct.

[Cherelle]

So they'll, they just.

[Alexis]

Whatever.

[Sheryl]

That's what I think that it is.

[Alexis]

Whatever you need, sweetheart.

[Cherelle]

Want something in return. It can be a long term relationship. But all my friends who I know who have it, it can be a date. For all my friends who know who have a sugar daddy, they're giving things in exchange for either companionship or some type of loving. Whether it's being caressed.

[Alexis]

Yeah, companionship.

[Cherelle]

Companionship. Or whether it's being caressed or, you know, making sure he's good for the night, for the week, for the month. You never know. Making sure whatever it is he got.

[Alexis]

Going on, that's called prostitution.

[Sheryl]

I was just thinking at it. I was like, is he a john?

[Alexis]

No.

[Cherelle]

No. Because they both are in agree. They both, they both are benefiting from it.

[Sheryl]

Okay.

[Alexis]

That's called prostitution.

[Sheryl]

So to me a trick. So the trick, like if, if you tricking, that is more to me. Like would you.

[Alexis]

I'mma give you. I'mma give you the money and I'm gonna give you some loving back. That's. That's tricking and what you talking about?

[Sheryl]

Sh.

[Alexis]

I feel like I know people who have sugar daddy. Well, yeah, and they have like the whole sugar sugar babies website and stuff where they literally are just like talking on the phone to them or like it's really like a companion that has a lot of money and just will send you money.

[Cherelle]

You know, the institution is with different. You have different. But when you have a sugar daddy, somebody that you're building a relationship with that you're either in exchange for, it's just like having a, a boyfriend or whatever. They're taking care of you. You're doing things. That's generous. No, generous is somebody that just wants to give. But if y' all both are in exchange for something and he's an only guy, like transactional. Yes. Oh, I done got dark. Go ahead, talk.

[Sheryl]

So yeah, I can still hear you though.

[Cherelle]

No, maybe, maybe sugar daddies.

[Alexis]

And tricking is two of the same. It's just sugar daddy is like usually an older gentleman maybe.

[Sheryl]

And again, that companionship that. That time spent and it might not be as much as an exchange of fluids or whatever the case may be. To me, tricking is like, you know, almost saying, I'm gonna. I'm like, give you this money for you. It's transactional. Like for you to come and do something for me or for you to show up, for you to be here, for you to like. It's more of a control thing. The I feel like sugar daddy situation is more like the lady is saying, you know, I need this taken care of, you know, and he's like, all right, cool. Whatever. I got you.

[Alexis]

Now.

[Sheryl]

Generous is. The man who doesn't. Is not asking for nothing in return. He is literally being generous.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Sheryl]

And not asking for anything in return.

[Alexis]

That's what I think. That's my definition.

[Sheryl]

Those are how I break down the three. Because I would date a generous man. I would not date a sugar daddy, and I would not date.

[Cherelle]

Get you a sugar daddy.

[Alexis]

Just try it one time and see.

[Cherelle]

You might like it. No.

[Alexis]

Just one time from.

[Sheryl]

Just for my energy. I don't even give off my age. You know what I'm saying? Like, one, two, just. I couldn't fix my face nor my. My time away from, like, my kids and just my. What I. My friends. Things I want to do. I would never do that. And three, what's wrong with it?

[Cherelle]

Yeah.

[Sheryl]

No, I don't need. I don't need. I don't. I don't need a sugar daddy. I don't want one either.

[Cherelle]

What's wrong with having a sugar daddy?

[Alexis]

Now? Generous man is different if you ain't got no man.

[Sheryl]

I don't want to be. I don't want to fake it.

[Lex]

No, it's not faking.

[Alexis]

It's nothing to fake.

[Cherelle]

I don't want to fake being around.

[Sheryl]

Someone to get a check. Like, to me, that's just a waste of time.

[Alexis]

Oh, you don't got to fake.

[Sheryl]

They.

[Alexis]

They like you for. For you being you. You don't have to fake.

[Sheryl]

I'm still going to have to go to dinner. I'm still have to show up somewhere. I'm still have to.

[Alexis]

It's whatever you want it to be. No, I think I. I feel like it's whatever you want it to be. You don't have to fake or whatever.

[Cherelle]

Anything.

[Alexis]

I think it's just whatever the relationship is.

[Cherelle]

Just.

[Sheryl]

I don't need my time period you.

[Alexis]

Necessarily.

[Sheryl]

You know, not every dollar. You know, it's not. It's not worth it for me. It's really not worth it for me to be, again, generous.

[Alexis]

What about you, Cheryl? Would you date a sugar daddy or. I don't know, is it dating or are you just like.

[Cherelle]

I would have a sugar daddy. I mean, I wouldn't have a sugar daddy. I'll be honest. I would. I have one before, but, I mean, I would be open to. I'm single. I would be open to having a sugar daddy. I find sugar daddy, though.

[Sheryl]

And what would that age range be? When you say sugar daddy, would he be in your. Your age range or would he be older? You know, 50?

[Alexis]

I think sugar daddy, though, does imply, like, an older man, though.

[Sheryl]

That's what I feel it is.

[Cherelle]

He has to be older. So, like 50, 55.

[Sheryl]

I'm saying older than that. I feel like sugar daddy is a way older than that.

[Cherelle]

Well, sugar daddy is what, 60?

[Sheryl]

Yeah. Because, I mean, I still date in my age range of 10 years. I won't go high, and that's 50s.

[Cherelle]

55 for me. I would consider a sugar daddy. 55 and older for you. Yes. Because they call cougars in the age limit. For cougars, there's age categories.

[Sheryl]

I'm a cougar auntie. I did see that. I felt disrespected.

[Cherelle]

We are cougar aunties.

[Alexis]

Yeah, we getting up there. Honestly, we are getting up there.

[Cherelle]

Wait, I actually had this conversation with a rain cougars. And then.

[Sheryl]

Yeah, y' all still cougars. I'm a cougar auntie.

[Cherelle]

Yeah, the cougar.

[Sheryl]

I will be a half a century in eight years.

[Alexis]

I don't want nobody to call me no auntie yet. They will. And my kid. I want to be big sis.

[Cherelle]

Can I be big sis right now? Yeah.

[Alexis]

Yeah. I'm big sis. I ain't auntie yet. I got. I still got a couple of big sis.

[Sheryl]

I'm big sis when I am not interested, I'm like, hey, hey, what's up, brother? You know when you call him brother, like, hey, what's up? Then we not. We just gonna be, you know, homies.

[Alexis]

Yeah, Well, I don't know. I feel like there's definitely a difference between a sugar daddy in a trick. And I feel like the tricks are, like, it's very, like, you know, for sure you giving up the puss.

[Sheryl]

Very transact.

[Alexis]

You know what I'm saying? I feel like with sugar daddies, it.

[Cherelle]

Could be whatever y' all agree upon.

[Alexis]

Yes. It could be times. Look at your Toes, he might, you know. Yeah, he might just want to go to the movies. He might just need a companion. Like, he might just want you to go to church with him. Like, you just never know because men and they little weird fetishes or whatever. I feel like sugar daddy's is kind of a more broader, you know, situation. Whereas Trick for sure is y' all gonna be, you know what I'm saying? But. And then a generous man, we were saying, is just a man who doesn't expect to receive something back. He's just as a natural giver because that's what he wants to do.

[Sheryl]

And it makes him feel good to make you feel good in that way.

[Cherelle]

If y' all. If y' all have a sugar daddy, what's the bare minimum? And sugar daddy should be providing in 20, 25.

[Alexis]

Ooh, you talking.

[Sheryl]

We talking for the masses or we talking for us?

[Cherelle]

Because, I mean, so you can speak on it.

[Sheryl]

Hair, nails, lunch, dinner. No, no, no. I'm trying to think of average.

[Alexis]

If you're training a man and he's your sugar daddy, he needs.

[Sheryl]

You said the masses.

[Cherelle]

It doesn't matter.

[Sheryl]

It can be rent.

[Alexis]

You can do your hair again. Yeah, it gotta be something like the bills, the rent, having a sugar daddy for it.

[Cherelle]

I mean, I could do my hair and nails and that, but the bare minimum for a sugar daddy and sugar.

[Alexis]

Daddy, this, trips to Dubai on the yachts, but you don't see him in the pictures type of thing. Right. Isn't that what the sugar daddies be doing?

[Sheryl]

You said. Y' all said for the mass. Okay, it doesn't matter.

[Cherelle]

For the masses, Lex, we're not going 2020.

[Sheryl]

Because if I had a sugar daddy, I got taxes. You know, there's taxes, there's, you know, vehicles.

[Cherelle]

I can tell you never had a sugar daddy before. Cause you talk about some hair, nails at lunch.

[Sheryl]

I brought it down. As far as, you know, other.

[Alexis]

Everybody wants like, you know, their mortgage pay or their. Like something that's gonna make a difference, you know what I'm saying? Getting your hair done and lunch is.

[Cherelle]

I'm gonna waste my time having a. No.

[Sheryl]

Y' all send.

[Alexis]

The master is not sugar daddy. No, that's like a piece of candy daddy.

[Cherelle]

A generous man looking. A spa day.

[Sheryl]

Yeah, I don't even know.

[Cherelle]

Sugar daddy is paying the mortgage, the car note. And ain't not no typical car note. I mean, we talking about you in a luxury vehicle. A luxury vehicle, sure.

[Alexis]

Your daddy is paying for you and your homegirls to go to Europe for The summer.

[Cherelle]

Yeah.

[Sheryl]

That is not for the masses, y' all.

[Alexis]

This is not for the masses.

[Cherelle]

Sugar daddy.

[Sheryl]

No.

[Alexis]

A sugar daddy can't just be given $5 here and there. That's not a sugar daddy.

[Cherelle]

You wasting your time for having a sugar daddy. The whole meaning of a sugar daddy is to take you to another.

[Alexis]

That means make out money to spend.

[Sheryl]

I was just. You ain't a sugar daddy because the ma. The master.

[Cherelle]

It doesn't matter. Get your mind off the. The. Your mindset.

[Sheryl]

What is this for anyone.

[Cherelle]

Anyone who have a sugar daddy. The main reason why they have a sugar daddy is to. Is because they don't have to do certain things to enhance their lifestyle. Enhancing my lifestyle is taking me on trip. Taking me on trips on a private.

[Alexis]

Jet by doing stuff you can't afford yourself.

[Sheryl]

We would do.

[Cherelle]

No, it's for anybody who have a sugar daddy.

[Sheryl]

All right.

[Cherelle]

We gotta get then the pj.

[Sheryl]

That's normal. Book the yacht for the day. That's normal. Okay.

[Alexis]

We gotta find Alexis's sugar daddy.

[Cherelle]

Yeah, we gonna find your sugar daddy. So you can. I'm gonna.

[Alexis]

I'm gonna make you a profile on sugarbabies.com.

[Sheryl]

I mean, y.

[Cherelle]

Make you one.

[Sheryl]

Y' all funny.

[Cherelle]

Yeah. We don't get you the experience.

[Sheryl]

30K for some toe. Some to. To pick my toenail polish. That's my going rate.

[Alexis]

Okay. Men are nasty. They will pay for anything.

[Cherelle]

Honey, it's men that will pay you on your toes and rubbing them together, put chocolate on your toes.

[Alexis]

And, you know, like, there's websites where you can send in your dirty draws.

[Cherelle]

You know, you can mail it sometimes you can mail them.

[Alexis]

That's what I'm saying. That's nasty. But they pay for it.

[Cherelle]

Yeah. I mean, if somebody say they gonna send me 100k for my panties, maybe they gonna be expressing a FedEx.

[Sheryl]

Overnight. First Overnight express delivery.

[Cherelle]

I'm with it. And you want that? Okay. You want. You want me to put some chocolate on these toes?

[Alexis]

All right, I got a question. So is it ever emotional or is the game always transactional?

[Cherelle]

It depends. It depends on the relationship. Because some people can come in as transactional, but the longer they. They still. Because I know someone. Prime example. Someone used to have, like. I wouldn't say a sugar daddy because he wasn't at the age of a sugar daddy. But they were never together, and he would take care of everything.

[Alexis]

Do I know who you're talking about?

[Ashley]

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[Debbie]

Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely and parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money. With guardrails in place. Try Greenlight risk free [e-mail] iheart Ryan.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Lex]

Of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail].

[Cherelle]

But now it's like emotions are involved so it's like it can't transition to that. So you never.

[Sheryl]

Yeah, from time being spent and energy. And you could do that for sure. Your sugar daddy could turn into your next husband.

[Cherelle]

Exactly.

[Alexis]

Hello, Possible.

[Cherelle]

You never know.

[Sheryl]

Don't.

[Cherelle]

Don't. Don't knock it, Lex.

[Sheryl]

I prefer generous.

[Cherelle]

I mean, I can have a little generous. I can have a little sugar daddy. I can weigh out my options.

[Alexis]

So would y' all be jealous if your sugar daddy had other sugar babies?

[Cherelle]

No, it would just take more money from him so he won't have other sugar.

[Sheryl]

You're like, my fee went up, daddy.

[Cherelle]

My fee went up. I need more money. I need to invest in this business.

[Sheryl]

I don't think it's a jealous thing just because as long as they doing what they. You know, what y' all agreed upon, you know, it's just whatever. If he has it like that. What do they say? It ain't tricking if you got it.

[Cherelle]

I don't even know. I don't know. I probably. I wouldn't care because I ain't get emotionally attached. Just give me my funds.

[Sheryl]

It's transactional.

[Cherelle]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

It's like, what if you have a guy and he, like, does the exact same thing for you that he does for another girl?

[Cherelle]

Like, you good with that if you have other women? I need to be at the top of the chain.

[Alexis]

Okay.

[Cherelle]

Yeah. If I had me or should.

[Sheryl]

That's what Sherrell said.

[Cherelle]

I need to be at the top of the chain.

[Alexis]

Okay. So how do you get a fake baller or someone trying to finesse the finesse?

[Cherelle]

Oh, I know some fake ballers. They always. They. I'm not calling on.

[Sheryl]

They show it.

[Cherelle]

They show it. They always.

[Sheryl]

They talk about it, but they always.

[Cherelle]

Around people with clout, but they're never doing anything on their own. They always named, like, talking about somebody else. What are you doing? They always say they got this and they got there, but you never see it. Yeah, it's like, what do you do?

[Alexis]

Yeah, it's always the ones for me that, like, are in a section. It's like 20 guys all in one section. I don't like that. Like, first of all, the section ain't that much. It's 20 of y' all, and y' all got two bottles. And all y' all acting like y'.

[Sheryl]

All the men and no ladies.

[Alexis]

No. And no ladies. Exactly.

[Sheryl]

That's not good.

[Alexis]

That's a dead giveaway. Yeah. Ladies, I go to the club. That's a dead giveaway section. He, like, trying to holla at you, and it's like 20 of them in there. He don't talk to him. He's not. He's not a baller. He's not a baller? No, I don't think so.

[Cherelle]

That's the worst.

[Sheryl]

I just feel like he's not a baller.

[Alexis]

He's not a baller. He's not a baller.

[Sheryl]

I don't think so.

[Alexis]

That's an easy way to spot him. Or, you know, the one in the passenger side might not be a baller.

[Sheryl]

It's like the look like a starter kit. Like, you have the watch, you got the. This, you got the, you know, you got the stack and you want it, you know. You know, just very much cookie cutter. Nothing. Nothing special. You know what I mean?

[Cherelle]

Not a smart kid.

[Alexis]

Is there a difference between being spoiled and being kept?

[Cherelle]

It's the same thing.

[Sheryl]

I think it's a difference.

[Alexis]

What's the difference?

[Sheryl]

Spoiled is basically saying, this is my level, this is what I expect. And if you don't meet me at this expectation, I'm going to whine about it, bitch about it, complain about it, nag about it, and let you know until I get my way. And then someone giving them. Giving you what you wanted because of, you know, the effect of them saying no first and then saying yes afterwards, that's spoiled. Being kept is taken care of. Being kept is like, okay, this is the standard. This is what's expected. This is consistent. This is what I feel like I'm going to do to take care of you. Not the sense of entitlement. It's almost a sense of relaxation and discomfort. That's the difference.

[Cherelle]

I say being kept can lead to being spoiled because you're setting a standard for something that you're not used to and that basically someone set a standard and that's what you're used to. So you get into something else or they can't do it anymore. Now it's like, this is what I'm used to. This is what I expect. This is. And then you start nagging about it because you're not getting it anymore.

[Sheryl]

Interesting.

[Alexis]

So would you want to be spoiled or would you want to be kept? Or neither or both.

[Sheryl]

I would be kept.

[Cherelle]

Well, I mean both spoiled and kept. I mean, it falls in the same.

[Sheryl]

That's why I would say both. Like, and if you say you're in a relationship or something and you just like, you know, being kept in a relationship is a different thing to. To me, you know, like, hey, this is. These are your expenses. I want to relieve this stress from you. I got you. You know, but the spoiled part is like, you know, when you go shopping or she's spoiled. She likes this. You know, I know what she likes. I know what she's into. So, you know, it's a fine line of that. I think it's when you start to just become, like, ungrateful for it or just, like, entitled, like, expecting it. That's when you can kind of, you know, teeter. Totter the line. But I think it's. You want to be spoiled by someone that's you're in a relationship with or that you like as well as being kept by them. If they can do that, you know, I could do both.

[Cherelle]

Like, spoil me, baby.

[Sheryl]

Like, exactly. Like. Like someone's traveling and they're like, oh, she likes this, you know? Yeah, bring that on home.

[Cherelle]

Surprise me.

[Sheryl]

You know what I mean?

[Cherelle]

And diamond. I love that. It's just a term.

[Sheryl]

Yeah.

[Cherelle]

You can get treated how you want to, baby. Just take care of me.

[Sheryl]

The sky's the limit.

[Alexis]

So. So then, like, if you got a sugar daddy. Well, no, I guess you don't have to, like, do anything back if it's a sugar daddy. But I was just thinking, like, ask the question.

[Cherelle]

Well, you ask the question.

[Alexis]

No, we can move on. Because I think I answered my own.

[Cherelle]

Question in my head.

[Alexis]

Yeah. All right, let's move on to our first scenario. Flight risk. So I met this man at a lounge in Miami. He's 47, salt and pepper beard, owns a couple car dealerships. First date, he flies me to Atlanta for dinner. I'm thinking I hit the jackpot. By the third trip. He's telling me he wants to invest in my dreams. But I tell him I want to start a business, and he ghosts me. Was I moving too fast or was he never a real sugar daddy to begin with? Got ghosted when she started talking big, big cash money things.

[Sheryl]

I feel like that's more normal than we give off. Just because, you know, some people will talk a big game just to get you there and will fly you out. They can afford that. They can handle that. But when they know you about your business and you're like, look, my time is taking me. If I'm here, it's taking me away from X, Y, and Z. Or what attracted you to me in the first place is I am a businesswoman. I'm a go getter. So if you don't see the vision that lets you know that he's not into it like that. He's more. It's more like this could be temporary. This is. This is very much like in and out. He's dating other women. He's flying them in and out. It's not a big deal. When you gotta invest in someone, and I'm talking about a business. Usually we talking about six. Six figures, you know, and up. And that's a big deal. That's a commitment, and that's an investment. So that lets me know you're not really invested in me. You know, if we're. If we're gonna be talking these numbers, if we gonna be talking like this. And I think that comes with time, too. Just like, you know, getting to know someone, understanding who they are, and low key. If you're a business person, you want to know where your return is coming into also if that's the case, you know, So I just think, you know, with investing, especially like that, with depending on someone, he's not really serious. This is very much just like, I flew you out. You got flew out. We had a good time, but then you started getting a little serious with me, then let me fall back, you know, that's why he ghosted. Oh, girl.

[Cherelle]

Just because he's not serious. I wouldn't say he's not serious. I would just say maybe he's not ready for all that yet. Maybe, you know, he. He wants to take it slow, and he feels like she's moving too fast. I mean, it's okay for a woman to go here when they feel like the man is moving too, too fast. So why can't he feel like, okay, maybe let me pull back so I don't.

[Alexis]

Well, the thing is, her. Her response was, was he never a real sugar daddy. And my thing is, what made you think he was the sugar daddy? Just because he flew you out to Atlanta and y' all went to dinner.

[Cherelle]

Like that ain't giving sugar daddy vibes.

[Alexis]

Yeah, so that was your mistake, Boo Boo. Like that shouldn't have never given you. I thought I hit the jackpot, girl. A flight.

[Sheryl]

Was it the third date or something? She was talking about investing the first date.

[Alexis]

She got flew out to Atlanta. You didn't get flew out for green.

[Sheryl]

And then she asked for. She's asking for investing. What, the second.

[Cherelle]

She wanted the second or third date. She wanted to invest in her dreams.

[Sheryl]

Mm. Mm. That's not a sugar. That's not giving that. Yeah.

[Alexis]

See, if you be out here looking for a sugar daddy. Not that I know, but I'm just saying, if you're gonna be out here looking for a sugar daddy. Boo boo getting flew out to Atlanta don't give sugar daddy. Okay, he just was flying you out to, you know, saying, fill you out. Really? Because come on. That's it. So that was your mistake. And he was a sugar daddy. So you need to and figure out.

[Sheryl]

What you looking for.

[Alexis]

Like, are you looking for somebody to be a sugar daddy? Or are you interested in somebody who's going to be interested in getting to know you? Because maybe that's what he was trying to do, and you came off acting like a sugar baby and he like, the jack.

[Cherelle]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

I feel like they really do be misjudging men sometimes when, like, a man actually goes out of their way to show interest. Like, sometimes I feel like women misinterpret situations because I feel like, you know, you're supposed to handle people accordingly. You can't handle everybody the same. So, like, if a man is genuinely, like, trying to get to know you, he flies you to Atlanta. He wants to spend time with you. Like, I feel like that feels different than somebody that's trying to trick off on you or somebody that's trying to be a sugar daddy. You know what I'm saying? You gotta, like, read the room. You can't just be out here, like, become strange.

[Cherelle]

I feel like a lot.

[Sheryl]

Unless you're on the website, I feel.

[Cherelle]

Like a lot of y' all.

[Alexis]

Read the room. Yeah, read the room, Boo Boo Kitty. All right, I agree. The emotional sponsor. I've been talking to this guy for six months. He pays my rent, sends me random cash apps, and even bought my mom a birthday gift. But now he's catching feelings, wanting to do FaceTime dates, meet my friends, talk about us. And I'm not into him like that. But he's paying for everything. Am I wrong for staying in it?

[Cherelle]

That's a question. Ask yourself, honey, can you.

[Sheryl]

You got.

[Cherelle]

You only you know what you can take and give. So, I mean, if it's gonna affect you, he wants something in return, then, yes, you're wrong. Because he's doing all this going up above and beyond for you, your mama, your friend, and you can't give him a little, you know, a little. I know she.

[Alexis]

All he want to do is FaceTime dates and stuff like that. I mean, see, this is when women been getting it.

[Sheryl]

Oh, like, come on.

[Alexis]

He's probably a nice guy. He done bought your mama a gift, and you ready to just be like, I don't like him like that? Like.

[Sheryl]

Yeah, like what, girl?

[Alexis]

I don't know what's wrong with y' all. Sometimes y' all be getting on my nerves for real.

[Cherelle]

But then they got little, you know.

[Alexis]

Both Pete, Lil Ray, Ray on the side who can't call. He don't answer the phone. He don't even know what your mama name is.

[Cherelle]

Driving your car around.

[Alexis]

Driving your car. Yes, girl.

[Sheryl]

Eating your food. Exactly.

[Alexis]

Playing the game all day, ain't paying no attention. But you got the nerve to not like this guy. I don't know, some of y' all just got it backwards. All right, we got a bonus. You just met a guy, right? And he offers you, I don't know, Lex.

[Cherelle]

What's.

[Alexis]

What? What do you want a trip? You want some money? What is it?

[Sheryl]

Yeah, I like trips. Let's say trips, okay?

[Alexis]

He offers you a summer traveling from Europe to Africa, wherever you want to go. He offering you wherever you want to go. And he's sending you his AMEX login.

[Cherelle]

Which one would you say? He offer you a trip to Dubai. He give you five for lunch. He send you his amex.

[Sheryl]

Wait, say that again.

[Alexis]

It was.

[Sheryl]

How much for lunch?

[Alexis]

500.

[Cherelle]

For lunch? I would.

[Alexis]

No, okay, no, 5,000. Let's say 5,000. 5,000 a trip, wherever, all over. Or his AMEX login? Which one you taking the AMEX login.

[Sheryl]

To, like, be able to make purchases?

[Cherelle]

No, he gave me making an authorized user because you can't.

[Sheryl]

Oh, yeah, let me just go and get that. Go and give me the black card.

[Cherelle]

I can't do nothing with that, but see what you spending.

[Sheryl]

Yeah, I was gonna say I can't do nothing with the login. I was like, if I'm an authorprise.

[Alexis]

User, I gotta start login mail.

[Sheryl]

Let me have that Titanium. This way.

[Cherelle]

Listen to that black card, baby. That's what I'll take.

[Sheryl]

Yeah, that's it. I'll take that and book my own trip.

[Cherelle]

Right?

[Sheryl]

Cause it's authorized.

[Cherelle]

And pay for my own lunch.

[Sheryl]

He authorized that. He's like, baby, this your limit? I will go to the limit.

[Alexis]

Okay? So.

[Sheryl]

Yes. All right. All right.

[Cherelle]

Now that we. We talked about the sugar daddy Rolex, would you reconsider having a sugar daddy? No.

[Alexis]

I already made your profile.

[Sheryl]

I'm looking for it. I'm looking for a generous man. How about that?

[Alexis]

Okay?

[Sheryl]

Someone that I like and that likes me, you know? And that is generous.

[Cherelle]

That.

[Sheryl]

That's what.

[Cherelle]

That's what I'm.

[Sheryl]

That's what is out there in the.

[Cherelle]

In.

[Sheryl]

In the universe.

[Cherelle]

You may turn out like your sugar daddy. No, you wouldn't date because it's already transactional before.

[Sheryl]

I'm just not in that space right now.

[Cherelle]

Everything is transition.

[Sheryl]

I'm Just in an intentional space.

[Cherelle]

But let's be realistic. All jokes surprise everything. Every relationship is transaction, whether you like it or not.

[Sheryl]

I agree.

[Alexis]

I think.

[Sheryl]

I disagree with that.

[Cherelle]

It's the truth. Every relationship is transactional. What's the meaning of transactional?

[Sheryl]

Whether. Whether it's emotional, whether it's physical, whether it's spiritual, whether it's time. What do you mean, like, all of that?

[Cherelle]

No, Every. Every.

[Sheryl]

Every relationship?

[Cherelle]

Yes. Hold on. Let me give you the. The definition of transaction. Even friendships, relating, hurt things, or interaction between people? Yes, Everything is transaction. And you want something in return?

[Alexis]

Yeah, I think so. I agree with that.

[Sheryl]

Okay, I agree.

[Cherelle]

But I don't know. I still think we could find you a little sugar daddy.

[Sheryl]

Let me see y' all. Let me see. Ashley says she's gonna make me a profile.

[Alexis]

It's already made. Diane. Sugarbabies.com.

[Cherelle]

Is there a such thing as sugarbabies.com?

[Alexis]

That'S what I heard.

[Cherelle]

I'm sure it was. That's what I heard.

[Alexis]

That's what I had heard.

[Sheryl]

I'm sure it is. Great.

[Cherelle]

Fine.

[Sheryl]

You know exactly what you get into.

[Cherelle]

Do they.

[Sheryl]

I wonder, do they put on there? This is the level of what I expect.

[Alexis]

I don't know. We gonna find out.

[Sheryl]

Don't worry.

[Alexis]

We gonna find out.

[Cherelle]

Lex, you the single one. Let's. You're the one who.

[Sheryl]

Oh, I'm the only one.

[Alexis]

No more.

[Cherelle]

Hey, say I wasn't. I'm the only one I'm dating.

[Sheryl]

And.

[Alexis]

So you can't have a sugar daddy right now.

[Cherelle]

I don't need a sugar daddy.

[Alexis]

Okay, but could you have one? Was my question.

[Cherelle]

I mean, if I wasn't in the situation that I was in with who I was, and then. Then, I mean, I wouldn't mind if I needed a sugar daddy, but the way you know, everything.

[Alexis]

I don't know. So can you have a sugar daddy right now or no? I don't need. Can I make you a profile? Can I make you a profile right now?

[Sheryl]

I love how Cherelle puts it on me. And then in back pedals.

[Cherelle]

Same thing. I mean, I feel.

[Ameca]

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[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Sheryl]

Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.

[Alexis]

Hey, I was just in an accident.

[Sheryl]

Don't worry. We'll get you taken care of.

[Ryan Reynolds]

At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking. It's human. Amica empathy is our best policy.

[Lex]

Hi, this is Debbie, your blinds.com design consultant.

[Cherelle]

Oh, wow.

[Alexis]

A real person.

[Lex]

Yep. I'm here to help you with everything from selecting the perfect window treatments to. Well, I've got a complicated project. No problem. We make the complex simple, and I can even help schedule a professional measure and install.

[Alexis]

I didn't realize you did that.

[Lex]

Yeah, we can also send you samples fast and free. Wow.

[Sheryl]

I mean, I always thought I needed.

[Lex]

A designer to come to my home, but scheduling is always a Nightmare. Not with blinds.com, we're on your schedule. And there's no haggling, no pressure, no hidden fees either.

[Cherelle]

Hmm.

[Sheryl]

I just might have to do more.

[Lex]

Oh, okay. Whatever you need. How about you tell me what you had in mind?

[Alexis]

Okay, then.

[Lex]

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[Sheryl]

Let'S get.

[Cherelle]

Into our last segment of the night and it's the Lulu dating, the new safety net. We've all done it. Imagine the wedding after one big date, giving our man a whole personality. He never actually displayed or stayed in a situationship because you just know he's gonna get it together soon. Welcome to the Delulu era, where the vibes are actually the men are red and our rays are buffering. What does being optimistic in dating turn into? Full blown delusion? When does being optimistic in dating turn into. Into full blown delusion?

[Sheryl]

Hmm.

[Alexis]

Listen, I ain't gonna lie sometimes at these women and they are real delusional. And I just be like, that must be lovely to be that delusional because.

[Sheryl]

They just be seen as like ignorant. Ignorant.

[Alexis]

Yeah, that's like, damn, I wish I could be that damn delusional sometimes. Cause girl, what the hell? What the hell?

[Sheryl]

What the hell?

[Alexis]

They just be.

[Sheryl]

Hello?

[Alexis]

Are you here? Are you in the room with us? Like, he's clearly like not the one like, you know what I mean? I have, I think, I think some women are choosing to be that delusional.

[Cherelle]

I was like, you say that I have some delusional friends. You can literally see that this man ain't gonna change and he's, it's just, he's trying to marry you, sis. Shit, I was delusional at one point.

[Alexis]

Yeah, I mean, I feel like everybody goes through that.

[Sheryl]

I'm very guilty of it on stage.

[Cherelle]

Like that's how I'm here.

[Alexis]

Never delusional.

[Sheryl]

I enjoy being optimistic though. You know, you want to go into it with optimism, but then if there's flags and then there's certain scenarios and becomes a pattern of some certain, you know, things that you're not going to tolerate or don't want to or makes you feel some kind of way, then definitely that's delusion. You definitely delusional. Maybe. Yeah.

[Alexis]

Once you start getting, once you're in, you know, a pattern of a delusion where it's harmful and abusive and just.

[Sheryl]

Not a good situation, lopsided everything then.

[Alexis]

Obviously like you need help, you know what I'm saying? But if you're in a place where it's like you're delusional, like, I don't know, like your man, like you take care of your man or something and you're just the girl who's always like, he's gonna make it, you know, and he's not doing anything to change his situation, like financially. But you've just said he paying the bills and I'm gonna support him. And you know, to me, no life, sis. But hey, if you like it, I love it. You know what I'm saying? But that's a delusional type of situation that I'm talking about. It's like, you know, it's not necessarily unhealthy, but it's definitely can get unhealthy. You know what I mean?

[Cherelle]

A delusion I done witnessed is women. Other people tell them something and they just, no, I know he wouldn't do that. I'm this, he's that, and I just know him.

[Sheryl]

This.

[Cherelle]

The man was just outside.

[Debbie]

They got pictures.

[Cherelle]

You showing them pictures, everything. The other person turned himself. Receipts, receipts. The receipts are there and you still just. No, I just know he, that's the legion. And he tell you one thing, you just believe it after you have seen all the receipts.

[Alexis]

That's sick. The Lou Lou that's sick. You need help. But maybe that's the way they survive, you know, maybe it's a survival tactic. You know, some women just, you know, and also we don't know what be going on at home behind closed doors, so. So maybe for them that's how they are able to get through life, is by living in this delusional state. And that's how they make it. Because I don't know the reason why, you know, you would really just choose to live in a fantasy land.

[Sheryl]

Some people do live in that, that ignorance is bliss, you know, they rather just not know or, you know, live in that just space of comfort, you know?

[Cherelle]

Yeah. Is it okay to stay the lulu if it's keeping you hopeful and happy? How does it keep me?

[Sheryl]

I, I, I gotta definitely give yourself a time limit.

[Alexis]

I mean, you know, it's good to be optimistic and hopeful, but like I said, when it gets to where like it's an unhealthy pattern and, you know, it's not progressive, it's just not a good situation. That's when I think it becomes a problem, you know?

[Cherelle]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Alexis]

I don't know.

[Cherelle]

Okay, let's go into Our little scenarios. Soft lunch fantasy. I went on 30 dates with this guy. 3. I posted a soft lunch pic of our hands at dinner. He didn't repost it. I got mad. Girl, you crazy. My girl said all of. Yeah, but I already picked out what we were wearing for our first vacation. In my mind, it was already giving power couple. Was I being Delulu or just excited?

[Sheryl]

Delusional Delulu and over excited. Slow down. Getting mad. Getting mad that he didn't repost a hand is crazy. We don't need to be doing that.

[Cherelle]

I was getting a little excited.

[Alexis]

Dulu probably is if like she claiming him like full blown after that or something. I don't know.

[Sheryl]

And then picking out vacation. Every post fits.

[Cherelle]

Already matching vacation outfits.

[Alexis]

I thought she was trying.

[Sheryl]

The relationship is for the grand and for her that. That post is for her. That was not for them.

[Cherelle]

Prove a point.

[Sheryl]

To everyone. Yeah, sis, focus on you. Focus on you and which I got get everyone else.

[Alexis]

Yeah, she might be a little Delulu.

[Cherelle]

He didn't say yes. So this guy, like didn't text me back for three days. Instead of blocking him, I convinced myself he was just emotionally overwhelmed by how real our connection was. I even journaled. No, I'm getting tongue twisted journals about how I help. About how I help him open up. Then I saw him at branch with his girlfriend. The worst part, I still felt like we had something special.

[Sheryl]

The Lulu.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Sheryl]

Yeah. No. First of all, after three days of him not texting and they had time together, whatever. Okay, that's okay to have a little, you know, a little hesitation and trying to see making sure someone is not like obviously ghosting. And he did, but he made a choice. Obviously. He's either with this lady and you were just on the side, or he chose her and not you. We have to normalize, like people. We don't really know people until we are really committed to them and we're really trying to live with them and learn them and understand who they are. Like, that was just very much.

[Cherelle]

You.

[Sheryl]

Know, she just got into her head a lot quicker than she should have.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Sheryl]

You know, how did you just dating.

[Cherelle]

How do you help? Because I have some friends that are. Are just delusional. What are like, what are ways to help, like get through that? Because sometimes I feel like that can affect your friendship.

[Alexis]

Well, if they ask me a question, I'm gonna give them the real undilusional answer.

[Sheryl]

If they don't ask me, yeah, I'm.

[Alexis]

Just gonna mind my business. You know what I'm saying? I'M gonna let you be. Unless. Unless it affects me. I'm gonna let you live in a little delusional world. Now, if it gets to a point where I feel like it's hurting you and as a friend, I can't, you know, sit back and not say anything, then of course I feel like I would say something. But ultimately they're grown. Especially if it's like, has to do with men. I don't know. I feel like they gonna do what they wanna do anyway.

[Cherelle]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

So I'm gonna just say how I feel about them and then leave it at that.

[Cherelle]

How do you deal with someone that continues to bring up situations? And it's like you get tired of it, but they're your friend. And it's like, okay, I don't wanna hear nothing.

[Sheryl]

I would say it.

[Alexis]

I say that. I'd be like, I done already told you 10 times, he ain't the one. You crazy as hell if he is. And I don't want to talk about it no more.

[Sheryl]

And we have to again, normalize listening to our people and our listening to them. Listen to what they have to say. You don't necessarily have to hear them. Just listen and understand where they're coming from. And not understanding that it's not personal. It's not a personal attack. It's an observation. And they looking out for you, you know, it's not like that's what I think. We have to understand when our friends are telling us something, that means they see something we don't. And we. And they know us longer. They know us, you know, So I would listen to it.

[Cherelle]

That's true. Well, that's. I. I have some friends. I'm gonna have to have a talk with them.

[Sheryl]

Yeah, and you should, because it's definitely.

[Cherelle]

Giving off, dilute them.

[Alexis]

So you ain't told them already one time.

[Cherelle]

I just.

[Alexis]

You can't do it. You can't tell them. It's just been too hard to tell them.

[Cherelle]

I just made a change in the subject, like. Or be like, oh, girl, let me call you back.

[Sheryl]

And never call back because you already know. You already know what it is.

[Cherelle]

Oh, let me take this call. Oh, this is a business card. I call you see, I feel like.

[Alexis]

I'm the type of person that I have to hold back what I truly think and feel about situations. So I never am in that. Like, I'm always pretty upfront. Like, as soon as I see something a little off, I'm like, oh, girl, I don't know about that one. You know what I'm saying, yeah. And so if they don't listen or. And also. Also, I'm not just. I'm going to say this to a friend that I feel like is receptive to, of course, my advice and how I give advice or whatever. I'm not the. Like, I'm. I'm a little brutally honest sometimes. I know that. So I don't just do it to everybody. But if somebody I'm close enough with that I know I can, like, share my true feelings about them. And I feel like they're a little Delulu in this situation. I would say it up front. And then if I've said it, like, once or twice and it seems like they're not being receptive to that, that's when I'm like, oh, okay, girl, you just gotta keep it to yourself and just let them go through that. Because clearly I'm. And when I say I'm brutally honest, like, I'm just gonna say it like, girl, no. Like, he's not the one. Something gets wrong, you know, I'm.

[Sheryl]

I'm gonna say.

[Alexis]

You know what I mean? So if they don't listen, like, the first couple times, then I ain't saying nothing else. That's just how I am with a situation like that. But help your friends if you can, cher. But sometimes the loot. When I feel like when people are delusional, it really is like they have to see it for themselves, you know, they have to get to a point of understanding and realization in reality, you know?

[Cherelle]

That's true. That's definitely true. Well, we hope we answer some of your questions. If y' all are like me, y' all have some Delulu friends. You know, Ashley and Lex gave some great advice on how to deal with them and snap them back into reality, because we all have been there. Some have not overcame their Delulu stage, and some have. But if you have a friend that's going through that, the Lulu stage, help a sister out, help a brother out.

[Sheryl]

Because it's not a little nudge.

[Cherelle]

A man, too.

[Sheryl]

Give him a little nudge, let him know what's up. Right?

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Sheryl]

And don't take offense to it.

[Cherelle]

That is it for Humble Baddies tonight. We enjoyed you all. Make sure you all subscribe to our Humble Baddies podcast. Share like, Support us and we will be back on Wednesday, y' all. Without me. I'm actually traveling Big business. I gotta go to St. Martin. If you know anyone looking to invest in St. Martin, make sure you hit me up. Hit up Alloy lpt. You know, and let's get this money. Hey, until next time, you can follow me Shore Rosado Underscore and Homo baddies podcast on IG and you can find.

[Sheryl]

Me Alexis_stoudemire on IG.

[Cherelle]

And I am.

[Alexis]

Ash3 Nicole and ash3_.

[Cherelle]

Nicole.

[Alexis]

Come and follow. Thank y' all for tuning in. See you next time.

[Sheryl]

Have a good night.

[Ameca]

Okay? Have you heard about this? Last year, Degree changed the formula for their Cool Rush deodorant. Their fans rebelled and wanted the old SIM back and Degree Listen, that doesn't happen often. They admitted that they effed up and are bringing the original Cool Rush scent back and it's exactly how you remember it. Cool, crisp and fresh. There's a reason it's the number one man's antiperspirant and is back in Walmart, Target and other stores for under $4. So try it and see what the fuss is about. Head to your local stores to try the OG Cool Rush for yourself.

[Sheryl]

Summer on the south side of Chicago is heating up. You planning revenge on two the Shy is back May 16th on Paramount. Plus it's the season of the Women. Women persistent on chance it's time to get to work. But the men aren't giving up without a fight.

[Alexis]

Street's always gonna have a villain.

[Sheryl]

No one is backing down in the Showtime Original series from Emmy Award winner Lena Waithe. Why do Black women always have to save the day?

[Cherelle]

If we don't do it, who else will?

[Sheryl]

The shy new season streaming May 16th on the Paramount with Showtime plan.

[Lex]

Love starts with you. Celebrate your unique story with Pandora jewelry. Crafted with meaning, love and exquisite artistry. From sparkling lab grown diamonds to vibrant enamels, personalized engravings and iconic charms, Pandora offers endless ways to express what's in your heart. Style your favorites with hand finished designs and playful cuts that reflect your individuality, Pandora is more than jewelry. It's a celebration of you. Shop Pandora today in store or [e-mail] every day is a chance to be loved. Let Pandora Jewelry remind you that love starts with you.

[Debbie]

This message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk [e-mail] iHeart.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast.