Intimacy Before Marriage, Dating Men You Don’t Like, & Looks Don’t Matter When You’re Older

Summary

Club Shay Shay: Truth After Dark

Episode: "Intimacy Before Marriage, Dating Men You Don’t Like, & Looks Don’t Matter When You’re Older"
Date: February 9, 2026
Hosts: Paul Pierce (guest host), Azar Faraday
Podcast Theme: Honest, lively conversations about modern relationships, dating culture, intimacy, and maturity—with anecdotes and unfiltered takes.

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into challenging relationship questions: Should you be intimate before marriage? Why do some women date men they aren’t interested in? How does age reshape what matters in relationships? Paul Pierce and Azar Faraday break down these topics with humor, sharp honesty, and personal stories, exploring gender dynamics, evolving priorities, and the challenges of emotional maturity. The tone is candid, often playful, and sometimes provocative, capturing both disagreement and real talk.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

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1. Is Sex Before Marriage Important?

Timestamp: 03:08, 35:13, 36:05

• Azar's Perspective:

  • Prefers sex before marriage but acknowledges religious reasons for abstaining:

    “Me, personally, I definitely would like to have sex before I get married.” (03:13, 35:48)

  • Emphasizes chemistry and sexual compatibility as vital for long-term happiness.
  • Notes that for many women, sex can be performative, sometimes disconnected from satisfaction.

• Paul's Take:

  • Compares sexual compatibility testing to test-driving a car:

    "I mean, you ain't going to go buy a car without testing it, right?" (03:27, 36:02)

  • Suggests men are less likely to verbalize dissatisfaction post-sex; instead, they silently move on.

• Insight:

  • Both agree compatibility matters, and keeping intimacy active is key to preventing temptation or dissatisfaction in long-term relationships.

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2. Dodging Home: Avoiding Your Partner

Timestamp: 05:40–07:23

• Paul asks: Is repeatedly avoiding home a sign a relationship is over?

• Azar admits:

  • She’s done this—using errands to avoid her partner:

    "I'm running errands that I don't need to run... wearing myself down till 7:00pm, coming home, oh, I need to get in the shower." (06:16)

  • The issue isn’t the conflict itself but how partners handle and resolve disagreements.
  • Relationship survival depends on two people willing to do the work.

• Paul relates:

  • Acknowledges he's also dreaded going home, confirming it as a red-flag phase.

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3. Individual Time and Relationship Insecurity

Timestamp: 07:46–12:40

• Paul raises: Why do relationships get tense when one partner wants to have fun solo?

• Azar explains:

  • Many women internalize a partner’s desire for solo fun as emotional distance or rejection.
  • “A man can say something and mean nothing behind it. And a woman will internalize it... talk to her homegirls and think it was this huge thing.” (08:52)
  • Root issue: emotional immaturity and attachment style, not controlling behavior.
  • Advises women not to ask, “Can I come?” If he wants you there, he’ll invite you.

• Mutual Respect:

  • Both must allow solo time—men shouldn’t react negatively when women go out with friends.

    “It has to be a two way street, because a lot of men will do that... but when a woman goes out, he's sick...” (12:33)

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4. Bringing a Partner to Girls' Night

Timestamp: 12:41–15:13

• Paul asks: Is it okay for someone to show up with their partner during a friends-only gathering?
• Azar (laughing):
  • She’s that person—brings her man who pays for everything.
  • Most don’t care, unless the man is controlling, in which case, “Don’t even come at this point.”
  • Downside: Can’t discuss certain “womenly stuff.”

    “...women want to chop. And I want to say certain stuff I'm not going to be able to say in front of this man.” (15:13)

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5. Using Men for Free Dates & Dinner Etiquette

Timestamp: 16:26–20:25

• Paul scenario: If a woman invites a man to dinner (sometimes with friends), is he obligated to pay?

• Azar (frankly):

  • Often, if a woman brings a friend, it’s with the intent of getting a free meal, usually from a man she doesn’t like.

    “He thirsty, he paying for the dinner, girl...” (17:21)

  • Admits some women run this play for years—sporadically getting free meals without emotional investment.
  • Paul presses: What if the guy flips the script and brings another woman?
    • Azar: “I don't care. I'm still getting the free dinner.”

• Paul challenges:

  • How do women keep accepting dates with men they don’t like?
  • Azar: She can’t personally do it, finds it draining, but notes many women rationalize it as harmless, since men “trick” on many women at once.

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6. "More or Less" Red Flags—Rapid Scenarios

Timestamp: 22:12–30:00

• Arguing in Relationships:

  • Paul: Not arguing at all isn’t necessarily a bad sign, but “real” arguments mean deeper rifts.

• Chemistry vs. Friendship:

  • Azar: Chemistry fades, friendship lasts—importance grows with age and maturity.
  • For men, Paul says, chemistry could weigh more; for women, friendship becomes critical as they age.

• Women Proposing:

  • Azar: Would never do it, insists some traditions matter, especially for masculine/feminine roles.

    "Why am I making a decision about our lives?" (25:43)

  • Paul: Open to change, questions rigid adherence to tradition.

• Social Media & Thirst Traps:

  • Men and women weigh follower-count and online presence differently when considering potential partners.
  • Both agree digital footprints matter.

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7. Sex, Looks, and Building a Perfect Partner

Timestamp: 35:13–44:49

• Sexual Compatibility:
  • Azar: Sex is high priority to prevent “temptation” but not the only important factor—emotional intelligence matters more.

    “Emotional maturity needs to be at a 50%.” (40:25) “I’m not big on looks. Hygiene is important, but I don’t have to have a major...Fine, fine, fine person. Like, it’s cool.” (41:22)

  • Paul: Most men overweight looks and sex in partner selection—leading to problems later.

    “Most men will say, 50% looks, 50% sex.” (41:36)

  • Both agree: As people age, looks decrease in importance, replaced by emotional depth and partnership.

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8. Age, Maturity, and Relationship Standards

Timestamp: 42:50–54:50

• Paul: For men, the importance of looks drops from age 20s to 50s; emotional needs and support increase.

• Azar:

  • For women, early relationships are about status and excitement; in their 30s and older, priorities shift toward maturity, intelligence, and stability.
  • “I can’t speak for 40s and 50s and all that...” (46:06)
  • By 40s, women often enjoy peace and independence—less desperate than men assume.
  • “A lot of women in their 40s who are single do not care to be in a relationship...Women could. Men think that women cannot get man, or they're so desperate to be with a man, and it's really not like that.” (46:52, 50:48)

• Paul:

  • Men feel pressure to provide and protect, especially as society expects them to fill traditional roles.
  • When personality or emotional foundation is weak, infidelity or breakup is more likely—but Paul rejects Azar's view that “he was never your man” if he cheats:

    "It was your man. It was just like... it faded." (54:28)

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9. Building Strong Relationship Foundations

Timestamp: 54:15–57:47

• Azar's Rant:

  • People too often “promote” unqualified partners to marriage before truly knowing them.

    “We're promoting people to marriage. And you didn't even do the steps in order to become the manager.” (55:15)

  • The problem isn’t men or women—it’s building on “weak foundation.”

    “What we really need to be doing better is really rocking with each other and building on a strong foundation, being a good person, having real conversations, having tough conversations, and learning how to grow and build together with each other and as a community.” (56:50)

• Family Examples:

  • Azar highlights strong, long-lasting marriages in her family and the black community’s unique challenges due to systemic barriers.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sex Before Marriage:

  "You ain't going to go buy a car without testing it, right?"
  — Paul Pierce (03:27, 36:02)

• On Avoiding Home Life:

  "I'm running errands that I don't need to run... wearing myself down till 7:00pm, coming home..."
  — Azar Faraday (06:16)

• On Women Bringing Partners to Girls’ Night:

  "I've been that person a bunch of times... but they be happy. Cause he'll come, he'll pay for everything."
  — Azar Faraday (13:18)

• On Using Men for Free Dates:

  "He thirsty, he paying for the dinner, girl. Because that's the only time you only are gonna ask a guy to dinner if you're not on him."
  — Azar Faraday (17:21)

• On Strong Foundations:

  "We're promoting people to marriage. And you didn't even do the steps in order to become the manager."
  — Azar Faraday (55:15)

• On Women’s Independence in 40s:

  "A woman who's still in her 40, single, she like, I'm cool. You got to be a real cool man to come mess with me. Because guess what? I'm not... I'm in peace in my house. My candles are burning. I feel good."
  — Azar Faraday (46:52)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Sex Before Marriage:
  03:08, 35:13, 36:05

• Avoiding Home:
  05:40–07:23

• Solo Time & Relationship Insecurity:
  07:46–12:40

• Girls’ Night & Bringing Partners:
  12:41–15:13

• Using Men for Free Dinners:
  16:26–20:25

• Rapid Fire: "More or Less" Red Flags:
  22:12–30:00

• Chemistry, Friendship, and Aging:
  35:13–44:49

• Age, Standards, and Independence:
  42:50–54:50

• Building Strong Foundations:
  54:15–57:47

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Conclusion

Azar and Paul deliver a lively, honest examination of the unwritten rules and shifting priorities of modern relationships. Their take: Maturity means valuing friendship, emotional intelligence, and healthy independence more than fleeting chemistry or shallow attraction. Communication, self-awareness, and strong foundations are the real keys to lasting love—plus, keeping it real about who you are and what you want.

If you’re looking for unvarnished insights, relatable stories, and more than a few laughs about dating and intimacy, this Truth After Dark episode delivers.

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Transcript

[Azar Faraday]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Paul Pierce]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Paul Pierce]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Paul Pierce]

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[Paul Pierce]

Is it important to have sex before you get married?

[Azar Faraday]

I mean, listen, I think that I don't want to just be on here, like, you know, religiously, depending on what your religion is. I can't speak on that. But me, personally, I definitely would like to have sex before I get married.

[Paul Pierce]

I mean, you ain't going to go buy a car without testing it, right? You cook today. You cook today.

[Azar Faraday]

Hey, hey.

[Paul Pierce]

No, no, no. Give me a hug. Give me a hug on that.

[Azar Faraday]

No, I'm not getting. You almost got me. Almost got you. Almost got me. You almost got me. You almost got me.

[Paul Pierce]

This is the taking over the game. All right, everybody. Welcome to Truth After Dark.

[Azar Faraday]

Do you think that men or women are more toxic?

[Paul Pierce]

All right, what's up, y'? All? Welcome to another edition of the Truth After Dark. I am your host today, Paul Pierce. I got the lovely guest host, Azar Faraday.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Paul Pierce]

Bringing that heat. She looking like a whole dirty martini today. Yeah. I see she got the olive.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Paul Pierce]

The green out. Okay. I see you looking okay. Yeah. Okay. Hair did. Makeup, everything did. Okay. Yo, make sure you join us this weekend. Check out the Instagram, check out the Truth after the Dark. We're doing a live show if you're in a Los Angeles area. So we're going to have links, we're going to have information on how you can get tickets. But it's going down Saturday in the LA area. Make sure you follow me, Paul Pierce or Azar Faraday or the Truth After Dark to find out the information that's going down. But anyways, let's get started with the show. Your boy got it popping today.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay. I love that.

[Paul Pierce]

Let's get it going now. Hey, here we go. Got a few questions for you now. Got you on the high seat.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Paul Pierce]

You wanna be on the high seat? I'm tired of being on the hot

[Azar Faraday]

seat all the damn time.

[Paul Pierce]

I stay on the high seat.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay, what's the question?

[Paul Pierce]

I got a question.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Paul Pierce]

When you live with your partner, some people start avoiding home because they don't wanna see or deal with them. Especially when does that Say it's the beginning of the end. Or is this something you could work out? Just say, like, when you get to the point, you just like, man, you live with somebody, I don't wanna go home. And you just start doing stuff to stay out later. Is that a sign that there's trouble in paradise?

[Azar Faraday]

Absolutely. Yeah. I think I've done that.

[Paul Pierce]

You've done that?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I have.

[Paul Pierce]

You just, like, I don't. Like, the night was pretty much over and you just find ways to extend the night.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. Or even the day. Like, if you're home during the day, it's like, I'm getting up, I'm running errands that I don't need to run. I'm going out there. I'm going somewhere. Like, I don't care if I have to go to the grocery store here, there, there, there, there. I'm going to these places, wearing myself down till 7:00pm Coming home, oh, I need to get in the shower. I need to get in the bed. Like, that's really what I've done in my life, like in one of my relationships. Yeah.

[Paul Pierce]

When it gets to that point, is it fixable? Have you ever been at that point and it just kind of got back to where it was or it's just. That's the beginning of the end?

[Azar Faraday]

I think that everything is fixable. It just takes two people willing to do the work. So for me, I don't think that the problem is the issue. I think it's the way that you resolve conflict. So for me, it's like, if we can get to a place where we understand how to resolve conflict or we can have conversations without being on the defense.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

And instead of listening to respond, we listen and actually hear. I think you can get to a better point, you know? Have I. Was that the end of my relationship? Yeah, pretty much. But we just weren't at that place where we could work it out.

[Paul Pierce]

Wow, that's interesting.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I've.

[Paul Pierce]

I've experienced that. So we're just like, damn, you. Like, damn. Going home. He's just dreading going home.

[Azar Faraday]

You just dread it, and I just dread it. I wake up and more like, ugh. And I have to go and I'm just running errands at the point where it's like, you don't even have nothing else to do at this point, but you just making shit up, calling, oh, we wanna get lunch, girl, do you wanna go here? You just going places and it gets crazy.

[Paul Pierce]

All right, man, tell me about this. I was talking to my boy the other day, Right, Okay. And he was like, why, when you're in a relationship, the other person don't like seeing you have fun by yourself? Like, for instance, he was like, hey, what's up, man? I'm about to go to Vegas with the homies. Like, what? Like, yeah, just me and the guys. And then it just. Now, all of a sudden, it turned into an argument or it's like, all right, babe, y' all do everything together. But the one time he started doing something, one thing with his boy, the female get mad. Why is that?

[Azar Faraday]

Well, I'm gonna tell you two reasons, right? So number one is if you always do something with your girl, and there's like a time where you don't decide to do something, you wanna do it with your guys. Yeah, I feel like that's totally fine. But I'll give you the inside into a woman's brain on that, right? A woman. And I'm talking about, like, a lot of women. A lot of women will feel like that's a sign that you don't want to, like, you're, like, off of her right now. Women internalize things, and we think things way differently than men. You have to remember that women are

[Paul Pierce]

men just out the night before women.

[Azar Faraday]

That's. Listen, women and men. I'm just telling you, in the. In the brain of most women, women and men are extremely different. A man can say something and mean nothing behind it. And a woman will internalize it, take it, talk to her homegirls and think it was this huge thing, right? So let's say you're used to always having a routine of wanting your girl to go with you. And then one night you're like, hey, babe, I'm just gonna go out with my homies. You a woman, she not even mad that you're going out with your homies. What she's starting to feel is like, oh, my God, does he not want to go out with me anymore? Does he not like hanging out with me? That's just women's brain. Women are super emotionally driven. I am not like that because I just understand, like, damn. Like, I want to hit it with my homegirl sometimes. I want to, like, have a moment where I'm out and I'm hitting and I'm vibing. Like, I think that's very important. But it takes people to get to that place. A lot of people are emotionally immature. So any shift in the dynamic, especially if you're anxiously attached, is going to make you want to, like, is there something wrong when things change? Or something is different than the routine. It makes people feel alerted, like there's something wrong. So it's a deeper issue. It's not just like they're mad that you're out. It's like they have to work on that. But that's not the man's problem. That's her internal problem that she has to fix and figure out why she's so anxious when it comes to her attachment style in the relationship.

[Paul Pierce]

Okay, so when a man be like, hey, babe, I'm about to go with the homies, we going over here. We about to go. You know what I'm saying? We going to this spot. And then she say, well, can I go? How does the man respectfully tell her? I would say no without saying just no.

[Azar Faraday]

I would just be like, how is the.

[Paul Pierce]

How can a man just say no without it being, like, awkward? Because if he, like, I'm about to go to the homies, we gonna go over here tonight. You know, it's me and like three of the homies. And then she say, can I go? And then now that be messing men up. Men be like, don't know what to say. Cause he don't wanna tell his partner no, but he do. So how do a man go about saying no?

[Azar Faraday]

I would say. I would say, first of all, as a woman, number one, don't do that. Like, I could never see myself being like, can I go? Like, I'm not saying that.

[Paul Pierce]

Women do that all the time.

[Azar Faraday]

I hate that. I would never do that. You would never catch me doing that. Like, if you wanna go, hit it. Matter of fact, you should go without me. I' ma say that before I say, can I go? But secondly, that's just advice to women. Don't do that. If he wanted you to go, he would invite you. Secondly, it's. I would tell her this. Yeah.

[Paul Pierce]

Without her feeling okay.

[Azar Faraday]

She might always feel a little bad. Which I would say like this. Like, baby, you know I love hanging out with you. It's nothing like that. But me and my homies, we decided to have a guy's night. Like, we all are just stressed. We all just want to let loose and kick it with each other and talk. Don't even say stressed. We all want to be able to talk to each other. Just man stuff. Talk about stuff that you probably not even going to be interested in. And they're not bringing none of they girls. So we just going to do like a guy's night tonight. And if she can't respect that or understand again, that's an internal issue for her. Like, a woman might feel a little like, damn, okay? But, like, at the end of the day, if she has real home girls and real people in her life and she runs that, like, if someone told me that, I'd be like, yeah, that's healthy. You should do the same. You should go next week with your homegirls and go to dinner. Like, everyone should feel the same. But a man has to keep that same energy when she does it too. When she decides to hit it and go out dancing and vibing with her homegirl, he has to still be like, okay, that's my girl. She cool. I know she's not going to disrespect me and I' ma let her do her thing. It has to be a two way street, because a lot of men will do that. And then when a woman goes out, his. He's sick. Like, oh, this is crazy. She's out. She's looking good.

[Paul Pierce]

She is.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, they're sick to their stomachs, okay? So you got to have that same energy, okay? Period.

[Paul Pierce]

Let me ask you about another situation, okay? There's a situation that you say, like, let's, girl, let's hit it. Let's get out of the streets, you know, let's go have dinner or something. Let's go to this little lounge, girls night. Boom, boom, boom. It's about like four or five of y'. All. How do you feel when you go and it's like five girls and it's the one girl who got a dude with her?

[Azar Faraday]

Um, what do you.

[Paul Pierce]

Do you say anything on the spot? Or is it a situation to where we don't need to invite her again? Or what's the situation? Like, what is that? Cause, you know, it's always groups like that. They look up and they, damn, girl. I thought it was just gonna be us, the girls. And she got her dude with her.

[Azar Faraday]

You know what's crazy is I'm like, that person. So that's why I keep it safely. I've been that person a bunch of times where my homer's like, girl, I know you lying. I'll be like, but they be happy. Cause he'll come, he'll pay for everything. He'll hit it. So they don't care. Like, I've always been there. Like, okay, girl, you bring it up at this point. Cause he be like, making it fun for us. But, like, you know, it just depends. Like, I don't care. Like, I'm. I don't care. I don't know how other people feel. That's a hard one for me, because I don't give a damn. I'm not investing other people's life like that. Cool. You brought them Cool. I don't care. If I didn't want to bring my man, then I didn't bring my man. I don't know, like. But you brought him. Cool. I don't. I don't care. Because most of the time, if a girl brings her man, she's gonna be booed up with him anyways, and we're gonna be doing our own thing.

[Paul Pierce]

Like, it's not even go out right with.

[Azar Faraday]

With y', all, because you still want to enjoy that. But maybe, too, a lot of the time, too, that could be a situation where the man don't want you to go out without him. You know what I mean? Like, and he don't trust that, and he want to be there. So she like, girl. Because there has been like, my homegirls were like, girl, you know he gonna come because he don't like me to hit it, so he gotta come. And if we don't like the man, which usually when it's that situation, you don't really like him. You'd be like, girl, don't even come at this point.

[Paul Pierce]

So can you really enjoy the night?

[Azar Faraday]

Does the night really.

[Paul Pierce]

Do you can what it's supposed to do?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I can. Because it's like, we're not paying you no mind.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Y. You not my man. I don't have nothing to do with you. Do your thing, period. Like, we could still do it. She is not enjoying her night. The girl who had to bring her man, the night's not doing what it needs to do for her, but everyone else is doing their thing. Because it's not like we're doing nothing with a woman's night. I mean, the only downfall is, like, when we want to chop it about certain stuff. Yeah, that does affect it, because women want to chop. And I want to say certain stuff I'm not going to be able to say in front of this man. Because it's personal. Like, it's womenly stuff. Only women understand. Only we could talk about it, and we're not going to be able to talk about it in front of this dude.

[Paul Pierce]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Paul Pierce]

Okay, okay, I got some other little scenarios. Have you ever asked a guy, say, like, you was kind of dating him or you know him and you hit him up like, hey, let's go to dinner. Okay, so my question is, if a girl calls a guy and say, hey, he not doing nothing at night, say, hey, let's go to dinner, is it up for the girl to pay for it? Like, she say, say this, she say, hey, let's go to dinner. He be like, all right, cool. What time where you wanna go? Let's hit this. Boom, boom, boom. Then you show up. You not only show up, you show up with a homegirl. Is the guy obligated to pay for that dinner?

[Azar Faraday]

I don't think he's obligated to pay for the dinner anytime. Like you could do.

[Paul Pierce]

Do you feel like if you ask a guy to go on to dinner, like you just wanted to go to dinner, are you. Do you. Are you feeling like he's going to pay for it or are you like, what is that?

[Azar Faraday]

Most women, when they ask a guy and they bring a friend, it's cuz they're like, hey, girl, I have this man that I know. He going to pay for dinner. You want to go to dinner? Yeah, that's the sit. If you're doing that, you know what type of man that is. And you're, you want, you and your homegirl want to go to a nice dinner and y' all want to have drinks, Y' all don't want to pay for it. So, hey, I know this dude. He's thirsty, he'll pay for the dinner. That's 100% that every single time he thirsty, he thirsty, he paying for the dinner, girl. Because that's the only time you only are gonna ask a guy to dinner if you're not on him. Because if you feel a man, you want him to court you, you want him to be like, what's up? You going to dinner? Like, you want that, you're not gonna be thirsty, like that, embarrass yourself. Hey, let's go to dinner. Like we're not dating. Like we're not dating you, you should be courting us. So why am I doing that? It's only. I'm only doing that if it's like, girl, he gonna pay for the dinner. Like, let's go, he cool, whatever. Like, just come on. I'm gonna bring my homegirl. And we about to just go get our free meal and a drink.

[Paul Pierce]

Let me just, you know, like, as a lady, like, how many dates is you giving a dude that's like that? Like you don't like how many dates he get?

[Azar Faraday]

As many as you wanna have fun and get your shit paid for. And it could be sporadic. It could be like, I went on three dates. Don't talk to him for two months. Hey, are you free? You wanna go to random FaceTime? Random this. That's when you know a girl's just using you. She's just calling you randomly, she don't like you.

[Paul Pierce]

He a guy like that, if you continue to go out with him, you going to slip up. He going, he going to get you lit one night, he going to catch you.

[Azar Faraday]

It be a lot of no slipping on that. Cuz a woman, when she don't want you like that, you. You rarely slip up on that.

[Paul Pierce]

Man, that's stupid to just keep going for that. Oh, no, that's going to keep spending the money.

[Azar Faraday]

Oh no. Yeah, there is. I'm here to tell you. Yeah, there is.

[Paul Pierce]

So you done that.

[Azar Faraday]

People run that play for years on a man.

[Paul Pierce]

Not years, years.

[Azar Faraday]

Cause it could be sporadic. It could be three dates, then two months later, another two dates, then three months later, another three dates. Every time you're bored.

[Paul Pierce]

Okay, so now how you gonna feel about this? He'd be like, all right, let's go to dinner. And it's sporadic. It's been sporadic, right? You know, he got money, he ain't trippin'. He done blew dinners off on you. He's like, let's go to dinner tonight. All right? Boom, boom, boom. Then you show up to the dinner, he got another girl with him. What you doing? It's sporadic, right? You ain't. You ain't sexual. And you. You. You getting over on him now. He just brought another girl to the situation.

[Azar Faraday]

Hey, girl.

[Paul Pierce]

And now y' all sitting.

[Azar Faraday]

What's up? What's your name?

[Paul Pierce]

You gonna be cool?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. Hey, girl.

[Paul Pierce]

Well, you ain't gonna feel like, man, she might start dipping into my dinner money.

[Azar Faraday]

Nah, because he already got other girls. Cause I'm only seeing you once in a while. I don't care.

[Paul Pierce]

But now he doing it in front of you.

[Azar Faraday]

No, I don't care. I don't care.

[Paul Pierce]

She come out with another chick.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I'm bringing my homegirl, too.

[Paul Pierce]

No, no, you're not with your homegirl this time. You was just you. And he just. He didn't tell you he had another girl. He's like, ooh, okay. Like, damn. You ain't gonna feel offended or nothing. You ain't gonna feel like a little cat.

[Azar Faraday]

I mean, I feel like you ain't

[Paul Pierce]

gonna feel like somebody trying to bump you out your little free dinner, man. Spot your little.

[Azar Faraday]

Nah, not if I'm still getting the free dinner.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah, but now it's like, not as often as now it's like, all right,

[Azar Faraday]

well, it wasn't as often anyways. Cause women who do that, it's not gonna be often. It's gonna be when you do.

[Paul Pierce]

Feel how women can continue to take free dates and still, like, just feel like a man. Just like they using the man. Like, how do you continue to go out with people you don't like?

[Azar Faraday]

I have no idea. Because when I was young, I already decided. I remember I went on a date with a man, and I was so like, ugh, I hate this. That's why I don't get why women can go on trips with men they don't like. I can't be around. Like, I have never been that hungry and that broke to be around a man that I don't want to be around. Like, I don't need a vibe that bad. If I need a vibe, trust me, I could scrounge up somebody to go to dinner with my homegirl. Like, I'm not. Not doing that because I've done that. Meaning, like, I've been out on a guy with a day, and I'm like, when I was young, and it's just like, I don't. I can't be around you. This is boring. This is draining me. Like, I don't even want to be, like, doing this. I. I'm never that. But women do it all the time. And A lot of women don't care about using men because they feel like men are not. So they be like, this man probably has seven different girls he's tricking on seven different things he's doing. I'm just one girl in the rotation, so it don't even damn matter. Yeah, that's. Women feel about it. They're like, I'm not breaking his heart. He's like losing sleep over me. This is the More or Less segment brought to you by Price Picks, where you can win real cash by picking just more or less on your favorite players. Use code TAD to get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5. So today we're going to play a little game, and I'm just going to give you some scenarios and you have to tell me if it's more or less likely. Okay.

[Paul Pierce]

Why can't I give you the scenarios ever?

[Azar Faraday]

You can. You just don't be coming up with them. So I'll give you a few and you come up with a few.

[Paul Pierce]

Okay, come up. All right, give me an example. So go ahead. Let's do it.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay. So more or less of a red flag if someone says they never argue ever in relationships.

[Paul Pierce]

I love that.

[Azar Faraday]

So less of a red flag.

[Paul Pierce]

Less of a red flag. I love that. So now when you try to start arguing, remember what you said? Yeah, I got.

[Azar Faraday]

I mean, I think that it's natural that you're gonna argue from here to there, but it's just about the extent of the argument.

[Paul Pierce]

Like people arguing. I feel like there's levels to argue.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I agree with you.

[Paul Pierce]

You know, like a mini little, like, disagreement. That's not argument. Arguing to me is when you, like, really in a doghouse with one person.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul Pierce]

When y' all just ain't talking, that's real arguing to where you go in another room and you might not even speak. You feeling a certain type of way. That's the real arguing for sure. Okay, so let me do many stuff. Ain't nothing.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. More or less likely to last. A relationship with a strong chemistry. But a weak friendship or a strong friendship in an average chemistry.

[Paul Pierce]

I say for women, it's a strong chemistry, weak friendship. For a man, it's a strong friendship.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I could agree with that.

[Paul Pierce]

And weak chemistry.

[Azar Faraday]

Well, I will say this. I mean, they said average chemistry, so it's not average. I would say this, though. The chemistry naturally in a relationship will always fizzle out regardless. So now in my, like, older, that's

[Paul Pierce]

when the women get bored.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. But that's why, like, if my.

[Paul Pierce]

I'm just not happy now. We don't need to be together now.

[Azar Faraday]

In my older life, I realize that a friendship is way more important and it's way better because, number one, if you're friends with someone, you can really talk to them and you could be like, yo, what's going on? Like, this is this. And you guys can have real conversations versus the chemistry is going to die out. You can't be a vibe chaser. If you're chasing vibes constantly, you're going to really just end up in like a bunch of different relationships because you're never going to have any real stability. Relationships fizzle and go up and down all the time, you know? Okay, More or less respect lost. When a woman proposes to a man,

[Paul Pierce]

I mean, I don't know what that's like, you know, I've never seen it. It's never happened to me. So I don't know what type of like. Damn, that would be crazy, though, to see that, man. I don't know.

[Azar Faraday]

That's been happening. I'm not doing that.

[Paul Pierce]

Ever happening.

[Azar Faraday]

We talked about it on the show.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah, I mean, but I ain't never seen it. I don't know.

[Azar Faraday]

No case DDG sister proposed to her boyfriend.

[Paul Pierce]

All right.

[Azar Faraday]

And then another actress proposed to her man. I'm not.

[Paul Pierce]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[Azar Faraday]

I don't like that. I think there's a lot of American

[Paul Pierce]

traditional values to where it's supposed to be this way. Everything's supposed to be like this. Like, who said. Who made the law? Who made the rules of all of this?

[Azar Faraday]

Well, I think that it goes into. You can't pick and choose. You can't decide. Like, I want a woman that's gonna listen, and I wanna be a leader and I wanna be the masculine person in the relationship and I wanna do all the things. And then you want her to get on her knees and to propose. That doesn't make sense. A man. No, it doesn't. Because why am I making a decision about our lives?

[Paul Pierce]

You're not making decision. You're asking me something. And I have the choice to say

[Azar Faraday]

that, yeah, that's blowing me. I'm never doing that. Me personally, I don't know what. But listen, I would rather leave if I feel like, okay, we're not moving

[Paul Pierce]

forward, so we're stuck on traditional. Traditional has proven over time to not even work.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, actually, it hasn't.

[Paul Pierce]

We get taught from the day we're born to the day we die that this is how life's supposed to be. You get up, you go to school, you go to college, you go to work 9 to 5, you find a woman that likes you, you propose to her, get a white picket fence, house. Happy ending story. Well, first of all, that ain't it work.

[Azar Faraday]

The black community never even had that opportunity to do that. That's not even real. Systemically racism and everything that we've been put through and all the things that happen, like we don't have that trajectory in our lives as black people. That's not even the thing. First of all, that's the white American dream. Period, point blank. That does not include this. Black people traditionally have been in broken homes. Fathers missing. Most black men you talk to did not have a father in the household. Most men were raised by independent women who are strong. Same with black girls. And at the end of the day, that has not been what has happened. So how do we know as a community if that works or not? There is a larger amount of people who are unmarried with baby mothers and baby fathers than there are community connected, marriage, period, point blank. So, no, I think our community is broken. I think that we need to fix it. And I think that we need to unite in a better way and a better manner. That's just the truth. At the end of the day, we don't have that lifestyle. Maybe you got married and you president.

[Paul Pierce]

Right now you.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm done.

[Paul Pierce]

Preach right now president.

[Azar Faraday]

Let's go to the next question you hate. See, that's crazy. Anyways, don't you, do you have a few that you want to ask me? You said you wanted to ask.

[Paul Pierce]

I don't even know where. What, more or less?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah,

[Paul Pierce]

I don't know. I mean, I mean, I wasn't prepared to, like, ask, but.

[Azar Faraday]

Then don't say that.

[Paul Pierce]

Well, maybe I could have read the ones that was already on the script. That's what I'm saying.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay, so do you want to ask you here?

[Paul Pierce]

All right.

[Azar Faraday]

Can you see that?

[Paul Pierce]

All right. More or less of a problem. A partner who flirts for attention or a partner who isolates and controls.

[Azar Faraday]

A partner who flirts for attention or a partner who isolates and controls.

[Paul Pierce]

I mean, clearly it's both. It's tricky.

[Azar Faraday]

Who, like, first of all, I don't mind controlling. Cause I don't look at most controlling as controlling. So I'm gonna probably say flirting for attention. Like, why are you so thirsty? Yeah, like, I, I, I don't like that. So I'd rather someone just Be cool, like, whatever. I don't care.

[Paul Pierce]

All right. Yeah, I guess. Okay, so now, more or less. I'll come up with something now.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay, go ahead.

[Paul Pierce]

So more or less. More or less. Thirst traps.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul Pierce]

Say like, you got a relationship. Your girl, she go on a trip and she just flexing by the pool, bikini flexing on the beach, food and all that. More or less. Is that disrespectful, though?

[Azar Faraday]

That's not even a more or less question. You just wanna ask some shit.

[Paul Pierce]

That's not even a more or less.

[Azar Faraday]

I just wanna ask some. Stop crying. Is that disrespectful? Is the question.

[Paul Pierce]

Is that more or you do you need to get more of that or like, damn.

[Azar Faraday]

I think that for me, I don't know, it depends on the man. I mean, obviously. Listen, I'm very aware of, like, okay, if I post this, this would be like kind of too much for being in a relationship. I, I, I think about those things, you know what I'm saying? And I guess, like, it just depends too. Like some men, they are the ones posting their woman half like, I know someone who posts his wife and in straight up bikinis, half naked all day, every day. Like, he loves that shit. And there's some men who are like, I don't want that all over the Internet. That's causing the wrong amount of attention. And it's bringing in all this, like, all these men are you. Because no matter what any woman says, if you are pretty and you post a picture, it's going down in the dms.

[Paul Pierce]

All right, what are you more or less likely to do, okay, Date a man with more than a million followers or less than a million followers?

[Azar Faraday]

Less than a million followers, for sure.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, absolutely. I prefer a man who don't even exist.

[Paul Pierce]

I wonder what it is for the men. What do y' all think, man? What do you, if you talking to a woman and she got like 200,000 followers, 200,000. What is it more or less that you could work with? That's the question. What's the number of followers she gotta have for you to be like, ooh, she cool?

[Azar Faraday]

Well, men, always. The men that I know, I don't know about, like the new age men who like all that stuff. But, like, the men I know be like, I don't want my girl to be doing all of that. I like a low key. She ain't even on the Instagram.

[Paul Pierce]

If you got 100,000 followers, is that a red flag?

[Azar Faraday]

I don't know. Like, I have 100,000.

[Paul Pierce]

If you're not famous.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm not famous and I have a.

[Paul Pierce]

You're famous, you famous.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm definitely not famous.

[Paul Pierce]

Have you ever been out and somebody said, oh my God, I follow you. Oh my God. Can I have a picture, yes or no?

[Azar Faraday]

Yes.

[Paul Pierce]

Are you famous? Then people don't have that happen to them. You're somewhat famous, you work and you host of the Truth After Dark. What are you talking about? I don't wanna hear that. I'm saying if a girl who's not famous got over 100,000 followers, that means she's posting.

[Azar Faraday]

That's him. Hyper pics, that's how you get them followers. If you're not doing nothing work wise, it's just posting.

[Paul Pierce]

As a society, we influence and we encourage girls to post booty and have naked pictures so they can get their followers up. Is that what we encouraging out here?

[Azar Faraday]

I don't know. I'm not. I don't know.

[Paul Pierce]

Cause we seeing people with girls with a million followers and then you be like, damn, what they do and it's just Onlyfans naked.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, because people want, they fetishize and they wanna. Men love to see that. They love like to see that like all day. So you wanna look at that all day on the Internet.

[Paul Pierce]

All right, I got one more for you.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Paul Pierce]

More than 20 million or less than 20 million for you to do an onlyfang fans.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm not doing only fans.

[Paul Pierce]

20 million.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm not doing all.

[Paul Pierce]

That's crazy.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

[Paul Pierce]

20 million.

[Azar Faraday]

No, you can't more or less. You can't buy me less. And I know people won't believe that, but I will never do it. Only fans. Because that's the digital footprint lasts forever. And I, I want to have children and I don't want to have that on the Internet. Like, I do not want my legacy to be like, oh, you can look up her coochie. Like, I do never want that.

[Paul Pierce]

I didn't say that though. I said only fans.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, on only fans. What do you think you're doing?

[Paul Pierce]

I don't know.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You showing a lot. For 20 million you will you showing a lot.

[Paul Pierce]

You want to save your integrity.

[Azar Faraday]

I want to save the integrity of who I am as a woman. I'm not perfect. I've had my in my life. But at the same time I want to present myself like as someone who respects themselves and is classy and really like has that integrity. And that is what I'm trying To always put out there, you know, for me. And that's real to me. Like, I'm dead ass. Not everyone has a price to be paid. Like, I'm cool on that and I'll sell myself. Well, I, I give it up for my, my, my dad. Like, you know, I had a present father in my life and I just feel like you, it's just, it's just like being taught a certain way as a woman and having sisters and watching them carry themselves, be so classy. Like, you know, I just don't want to be that type of woman. I'm not speaking down on nobody who has to get it how they live. You know what I mean? Right? But I've, as a woman, I've had plenty of opportunities with my body type to do certain stuff.

[Paul Pierce]

What you mean, what's your body type?

[Azar Faraday]

I shouldn't even have said that. I know, I know, I know. But like just curvy and like a big butt. Like, you know, since I was young I've had that. So for me, it's like, even when I lived in Atlanta. No, even when I lived in Atlanta.

[Paul Pierce]

You ain't gonna show the people you.

[Azar Faraday]

No, not tonight. I will. I'll give them something, cuz you said I should. And we'll do it. Like maybe next time they have to tune in. But not tonight. Not tonight.

[Paul Pierce]

It's not tonight. Oh my God.

[Azar Faraday]

We might, we might get warm and wearing us down off them comments.

[Paul Pierce]

Wearing you out on them comments. Man, come on, man.

[Azar Faraday]

He like, man, come on there.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah, come on, you got to.

[Azar Faraday]

Maybe a 180. Like they said, half. Not the full 360, but okay. Thank you to our good friends at Price Picks, America's number one sports pick app, use code TAD and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5.

[Paul Pierce]

Damn. So I just was looking at this story, right? This lady was like, you know, I'm not going to have sex until I get married. And you know, they dated. They did. He courted her, they dated for some years. It's been like a year or two. Then he proposed and they got married. And then they got married. So then they moved in together and then they come to find out that the dude had Ed. So you think this is it? Is it? So my question is, is it important to have sex before you get married?

[Azar Faraday]

I mean, listen, I think that, for instance, I don't want to just be on here like, you know, religiously, depending on what your religion is. I can't speak on that, but me personally I definitely would like to have sex. Sex before I get married.

[Paul Pierce]

I mean, you ain't gonna go buy a car without testing it, right?

[Azar Faraday]

I want to have sex before I get married because I'm like, with the guy I'm marrying. But it depends on how important sex is, you know, for you as a person. Because a lot of women have sex with men all the time where it's like, it's cool, but they not, like, super satisfied about it.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

You know what I mean? And they have their toy and they use that and they just do what they satisfy him. You know, a lot of time for women, sex is performative anyway. So it's like, I'm gonna perform for this person.

[Paul Pierce]

And Has a man ever told you he wasn't satisfied?

[Azar Faraday]

Not. No. That doesn't mean he wasn't.

[Paul Pierce]

But men tell women.

[Azar Faraday]

I think men should. I don't think women tell men.

[Paul Pierce]

Women, you can tell from a woman, but a woman, nah, you can't always tell. I don't know if a man is ever gonna tell a woman like that. He's just not satisfied in a relationship. I think if you're dating and y' all have a sexual experience, he just won't talk to you no more.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul Pierce]

And that's telling. But after, like, women would be like. And probably same with women, they just won't talk to you no more. You know, if it's trash, like, can relationships exist with. With trash sex?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I think they exist all the time.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. But I think that for men, it's more important for it to not be trash, because men are going to have that. That in their. That men are naturally sexual creatures more than women, and they're going to need to have that satisfaction. So if they're not getting satisfied, it's more of a problem for a man than it is a woman, in my opinion. Because a man then is going to start being lustful towards other women, start feeling like they're damn. Like I'm, you know, like they're not getting satisfied. Then you're out in the streets just like, on it. Like, damn. Like, you start to just consider more. The temptation is more interesting. Like, wait a minute, she cool, she look good. Like, I don't know, maybe just one time because I'm not getting satisfied. That's why I think, like, you don't have to tell a woman, like, I'm not satisfied. But you can be like, babe, I like it when you do this. Like this.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah. And what percentage of sex is important in a relationship?

[Azar Faraday]

You always ask this question.

[Paul Pierce]

Well, I'm asking again.

[Azar Faraday]

For people, it's different. I don't know yours. I think for me, the reason I say it's high is because it's because of the man. The reason it's super. No, listen to what I'm saying. It's important to me because I know that if I'm not satisfying my man, it leaves room for temptation for him to have sex with. And that's in my head. So then I'm going to be stressed. Like, if I'm not doing what I need to do, I know that that leaves room for him to go do something. El. And I don't like that feeling. Like, I want to make sure we're consistently having sex and I'm freshening it up and I'm doing the little different things to make it, like, cool. Because if not, then I'm gonna feel like, oh, my God, like, I'm not doing my job.

[Paul Pierce]

So what's the percentage?

[Azar Faraday]

So, like, 90%.

[Paul Pierce]

That's the most important part. Like all the other shit. He could be an. He could be not cute. He could be.

[Azar Faraday]

No, that's not what I'm saying.

[Paul Pierce]

But you said 90, but you didn't get what I said. What's. On a percentage level? How much percent is.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay, important. Let me say this, though. If it didn't have anything to do with the man, like, cheating or stepping out, because that. Then for me, it would be like 50. Honestly, if. If I did. If I knew, like, the man wasn't going to be. It would probably be 50. Because I want to have sex, and I want to have sex often with my partner because I feel like it's a way to connect. But I do feel like a lot of things are important also in a relationship. You know what I mean? Like, that's not the only important thing.

[Paul Pierce]

Sex is 90. What's 3 or 2%? He's dumb. He dumb. He's just 2% dumb. 3%.

[Azar Faraday]

What do you mean?

[Paul Pierce]

Like, you got 10 left in a man. That's important. You got.

[Azar Faraday]

No, that's not how I'm scaling it. You're scaling it as a.

[Paul Pierce]

The relationship is 100.

[Azar Faraday]

Oh, I didn't know. You're scaling.

[Paul Pierce]

We're gonna scale it.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Paul Pierce]

I didn't know that relationship is 100%. Important things matter. What's the percentage? What's your percentage throughout the relationship? You gotta have this percentage of this, this percentage of that to make the perfect man.

[Azar Faraday]

If I had to make a perfect man.

[Paul Pierce]

If you had to make the perfect man.

[Azar Faraday]

I would say emotional maturity needs to be at a 50%.

[Paul Pierce]

Okay. That means that.

[Azar Faraday]

That means you know how to communicate, you know how to be vulnerable. You know how to be intuitive with me. You know, if I'm not feeling good, you're, like, there and you're catering. Like, you know how to be somebody who's, like, in tune with your woman and all that shit.

[Paul Pierce]

50% emotional intelligence. All right, now we got 50% left.

[Azar Faraday]

Then I would probably say shit. I would probably say, like, 25% sex. I would say, like, 30%.

[Paul Pierce]

Okay, you got 30% sexual. Now you got 20% left.

[Azar Faraday]

So I would do like, you building a boy.

[Paul Pierce]

Build a boy. Here we go.

[Azar Faraday]

I don't know. I'm not answering the rest of the world.

[Paul Pierce]

I don't know what else.

[Azar Faraday]

I can't think of it right now.

[Paul Pierce]

What about looks?

[Azar Faraday]

Loyalty? I would say I'm not big on looks. Like, hygiene is important, but I don't have to have, like, a major. Fine, fine, fine, fine. Like, person. Like, it's cool. Like, looks are cool. Like, but I don't.

[Paul Pierce]

I'm gonna tell you, most men out here, and these men often get divorced and they dumb. Most of them will say, 50% looks, 50% sex.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, of course. That's obvious. Men are so driven by women. Let me tell you. Today I was in traffic, right? And it was this big Escalade, and. And it was just like. Like, he was, like, distracted on his phone, and the light was green, and I was behind him, so I went around him and I went to the front. And when I went to the front, he's honking, he's flashing his lights. He's pissed, right? So I'm like, damn, you wasn't even going. He comes to the side of me, and he looks at me, and he sees me, and he goes from angry to just. He was so happy, and he was like. And then he followed me for, like, five minutes, came to the side of me and was like, man, like, trying to get my attention. I'm like. Like, yelling out the window, your face is a queen. You're like. Men are so driven by looks. Like today was the perfect example of that because he was so pissed. And literally, when he saw me, he was like. His whole vibe changed. He went from angry to, like, so giddy. Happy. Loving it. Hearts and, like, just so pressed, like. And just a whole new vibe.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah. Man can look at a woman on the television and be like, I'll marry her.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, Men love.

[Paul Pierce]

Don't even know nothing about her.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, men Level look. Men love a look, but a look.

[Paul Pierce]

A look is what changes when you get older. Like, I think in your 20s, it's looks.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul Pierce]

When you get in your. This is a man. This is a man I'm talking about.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul Pierce]

When you're a man in his 20s, it's looks. I think a lot of it more percentage is looks. When you get in your 30s, the looks cut in half, and it's like, all right, I need some emotional intelligence. I need somebody who can take care of me. 40s, man. I think looks start going way out the window for men. You start looking for somebody that, like, damn, I need somebody that can take care of me. That's down to earth, you know, she could be decent, 50s, jump ball. Everything is going. So what is that timeline that I just gave for men? What is the timeline for women?

[Azar Faraday]

Well, I think women is. 20 is like, you want. Like, that looks bad. No, you. It's looks, but it's more like, you want that, like, player, like, popping. He's wearing this. He's cracking. Like, for me, I love. Like, no, I'm like, that's what I'm saying. Like, for women in my. In the 20s, all. I can't speak for all women.

[Paul Pierce]

No. Speak for, like, what you think the majority.

[Azar Faraday]

I can tell you what I think.

[Paul Pierce]

You have friends and y'.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. I'm telling you, like, what? Me and my homegirls in our 20s, it was like, flashy men popping Rolls Royce, pick you up, bust you down. Like, my. My boyfriend drove a Lamborghini. Like, we're in the Lambo. He's hitting it every time. I see him as a gift. Like, I. That was so cracking to me.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

If I look at that same man right now, you could not try to talk to me none.

[Paul Pierce]

Like, so that's what a woman wanted.

[Azar Faraday]

Now you get 20. So in the 30s, I will probably say, like, you look for a man who's smart, who's mature, who can actually you start a family with, who would be someone you can look to and take advice, who can teach you things, who can lead you in the right direction. Like, it's so different from what you want. Like, it gets crazy, because at first it's like, you know, and then I think about these men that I was, like, dating when I was younger who were so flashy and popping, but it's like, what were y' all even talking about? Like, it was just. It. I can't. Like, I'll never let you. I would never have family with you. I would Never do any of those things. But my boyfriend at the time, when I was 20, I really wanted to be with him. Like, I wanted to be a family, like, which is crazy because I'm so grateful. And that's why I say some women, they end up with the men having babies and baby daddies and all that stuff. And just because they had kids younger and they did this younger don't mean that it's better, baby, because I'm grateful. There is not one man in my past that I've been with that I regret not having a child with. Like, I am so happy. And at the time, yeah, I was ready to be. Be like, I'll have a family. I'll do this. And then I just, like, smartened up and was like, yeah, no, I'm cool. I can't do that. And thank God, cuz, yeah, that was crazy. I don't. I can't speak for 40s and 50s and all that.

[Paul Pierce]

I mean, what. What would you think?

[Azar Faraday]

I would think maybe 40s.

[Paul Pierce]

Now, a woman in her 40s, what's the standard?

[Azar Faraday]

The woman in the 40s who's single is starting single. She wants a young man now.

[Paul Pierce]

She like, huh. Anybody speak anything her way, she, huh, huh.

[Azar Faraday]

I think a woman who's single in her 40s starts to be like, do I want to. Are you gonna talk for the women?

[Paul Pierce]

She listening to all offers.

[Azar Faraday]

That's not true. I have. I know homegirls who are in the 40s who are not, like, listening to all the office. No, that's not true. Like, you think about, like, thirsty. That's not true for women. All women in their 40s, I don't

[Paul Pierce]

believe that they listen to any offer

[Azar Faraday]

that I think if you're 50s and 60s, single is thirsty.

[Paul Pierce]

No, women 40s is thirsty, is. Is listening to all offers.

[Azar Faraday]

I don't believe that they can't be

[Paul Pierce]

afforded to be turning no dates down.

[Azar Faraday]

This is what you don't realize that I think I need you to realize a lot of women in their 40s who are single do not care to be in a relationship. Like, you feel good in your house. You don't have a man in your house leaving the toilet seat up, making a mess, stressing you out. Like, what are you talking about? A woman who's still in her 40, single, she like, I'm cool. You got to be a real cool man to come mess with me. Because guess what? I'm not. I'm. I'm in peace in my house. My candles are burning. I feel good. And you Know what I've heard statistically, and it's funny because my mom told me this, but this is real. She's like, you know when, man. When you're not messing. Like, when I'm not messing with your dad because they're married. She was like. And I'd be like, I'm cool and I'm sleeping on the other end of the house. She said, he's way more depressed and just, like, moody, and he's just a man ass. I'm happy. Like, I'm hitting it. I feel good. Like, women feel such. Men don't realize how much men, like, y' all weigh heavy on a woman. And you just do not get that. Like, men do not understand. Women are there on your back and call everything that a man needs. If you're that type of woman, you're like, okay, babe, I'm here. I'm there. I'm there. You're there. And it's like, a lot. And you. I get it. It's. You man. Feel like it's all dealing with one, but it's a lot dealing with a man, man. It is. And it's a lot that they come with. And a lot of. And women, when they be single in their 40s, they probably, like, been through all type of. With these men, and they're just like, I'm cool. I don't need that. Like, I. You. I don't need that. Like, I'll just be by myself at that point. It's just like when you were single and you just. I mean, like, you know, when you're single, you feel like, okay, I'm cool. Like, I'm in the bed. I'm not turning over dealing with nobody. I'm not. Remember you were saying that. That women feel that too. Like, okay, I don't have to be.

[Paul Pierce]

Also, women feel like they don't have that sense of security. Women are. When they're by their self. They. They be scared a lot of nights if somebody break in the house. They don't have that sense of security that women also don't have. That. That component that's a man's job around the house. Like, damn, I need this dress.

[Azar Faraday]

But that is not enough.

[Paul Pierce]

That's. That's.

[Azar Faraday]

That's not enough.

[Paul Pierce]

I know that's not enough, but it's still, like a thing.

[Azar Faraday]

It's a little bit of a thing.

[Paul Pierce]

It is. It's like, damn. And then you start. But then that. When that starts creeping in your mind for that woman, it starts thinking like, damn, I could use a Man, I

[Azar Faraday]

think that men are very useful. I would never say they're not, but I've been robbed at gunpoint in my home, and I could sleep peacefully at night and not be scared. I don't give a damn. Like, women are sleeping good and women are chilling. Like, it's not as bad as you think. And there's moments where you could feel like, okay, I don't want to take out the trash, but there's also, like, I'll get a housekeeper. There's little things. I'll hire a tax rabbit. Like, it's. It's not enough on a daily basis for a woman to be so desperate in their 40s to want a man. I just don't think it is. Like, I'm not in my 40s and single, so I don't know. But from the people I know and the people I like, it's like that. Like, even my best friend who's 4, about to be 40, and she is getting married now, but even during I remember, she was like, I do not want to date. Like, I am cool. I have to force myself to date again. Because it's like, okay, maybe I will try one more time. But, like, it wasn't like, I'm desperate. Every man that comes, like, no, she met one man and he's her fiance now. Like, it's not that hard to get with a man and get married to him. It's not the hardest thing to do. Like, if you really wanted that, you can do it. There's plenty of men who will do that. And especially if you look good or have a little body or have a little ass or something, you really could get it. Like, you. If it's not that deep. Women could. Men think that women cannot get man, or they're so desperate to be with a man, and it's really not like that. And I hate that narrative because it blows me. Like, it's woman. Like, I talk to women daily. It is not like that. The only reason why women even feel that remotely is because of societal pressure. Because if you're single, you look down upon. But once women get past that and don't care what people think about them, oh, they really don't care. Care, yeah, they really don't care, period. Now, if you're a woman who's, like, broke and you've been used to a man taking care of you, and now you're in your 40s and 50s and you don't have that man, you try to catch that man for that check period. You try. Now that's a thing. That's the thing where women are used to being married to man and now they money ran out, their alimony ran out and they're like, oh, I need to catch a man real quick time

[Paul Pierce]

that alimony run out. Yeah, they, they gonna be at the age to where that man that you had before ain't there in the options books no more.

[Azar Faraday]

No, you don't have the same options as you had for sure. You know what I'm saying? But you gonna try. Not the ones that you, you trying to cash that check. Like, you know, I know women who are married to like big time people and now they in their 50s and they try to cash that check and it's not. Yeah. And you can't. Now I will say that it's harder to catch that man in your 50s, that type of man that you had when you were young and you blew it or whatever happened and now that's money is gone with that and you get a man. But good luck with getting a man that's about to be paying all of that and doing all that. I mean, Jeff Bezos married a 55 year old woman. So it, it's possible, but it does, you know, I do. I will say that your options trickle down because if was man going to be with someone who's 50 or 30, like why am I. A lot of men are not going to, they're going to choose a younger woman.

[Paul Pierce]

Yeah. I just feel like women that are single think about it more than men. Men. You hear so many men like man. Cause you know, you be like, I'm at peace now.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I can see what you're saying.

[Paul Pierce]

I'm like, damn. As a man, when you, as a man, you give so much to a woman and you know, women give so much to a man. But then like men, we ask to have more of a role in a woman's life. You know, we ask to take care of that woman. We ask to be the leader, take the financial burden off a woman. We here to like be the protector. We're here. I think we have so much more on our plate and it's like that society says that a man has to take care of the woman. That's the societal, you know, thing. Like you know, we got. It's pressure. That's a lot of pressure.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I get that. But it's pressure on a woman.

[Paul Pierce]

It's pressure because then not only do I gotta take care of her and make sure she happy, she probably got 10,000 other men that want to do that. For her that don't know her based on her looks. So she constantly getting it from a thousand different men. Even when I have a bad day. So it's like I can't even have a bad day because something else gon creep in to where if. Nah, you know, if our shit ain't strong and then, you know, that creep through the cracks. I could lose her.

[Azar Faraday]

If you have the wrong woman. That's the most shallow.

[Paul Pierce]

No, no, but that happens.

[Azar Faraday]

It happens with the wrong woman. Men are choos. The wrong woman and women are choosing the wrong man.

[Paul Pierce]

You choosing the wrong woman when you choose him. How you know you choosing the wrong man when you.

[Azar Faraday]

You date them and you get to know them and you put. You don't know someone until you see them mad. Until you see them sad marriage.

[Paul Pierce]

And then it can. Like people will date for five years and then get married and divorced in six months.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, but the point is, is I don't know about all of that. But what I'm telling you is, you know intuitively if this person is really rocking with you or not. Period. When people want to say I have intuition, I have this. But then blinded. So blinded that a woman will let another man. If a man can creep in my relationship on a bad day. You was never my man to begin with. If a woman can steal my man because I had a bad week, then he was never my man to begin with. That was never my man.

[Paul Pierce]

It was your man. It was just like. It just.

[Azar Faraday]

It was never my man.

[Paul Pierce]

She was my woman. No, don't. I hate when people say that.

[Azar Faraday]

It was never my man.

[Paul Pierce]

No, no, don't say that. Don't say that. Because it was your man. Because you had a moment in that relationship to where it was, it felt the way. That's the reason you made him your man. That's the reason he made you his woman. He was your man. It's just that it faded. He was your man. Don't. Like.

[Azar Faraday]

We're not talking about. We're not talking about. It faded. You just said, if I have one bad day and I'm not able to take care of my woman, I could never have a bad day because another man's gonna come in. If another man could come in. When you have one bad day, then that's not.

[Paul Pierce]

It's about one bad day. It's just like you might be going through something. It just added up to where you just got vulnerable. Vulnerable. You know what I'm saying?

[Azar Faraday]

I don't. I don't.

[Paul Pierce]

Mistakes be happening all the time.

[Azar Faraday]

Mistakes happen in relationships constantly. But what I'm saying is if you have a strong foundation which people are lacking to build, people are building empires on weak foundations. You are building a building blocks. You're putting building blocks on weak foundations that are not built to last. We are not building the right foundations. And that is the issue. We're going into marriages. When you are at a job, you get promoted because what, what, you did a good job, so now you're the manager. We're promoting people that didn't do the work to be to gain the promotion. We're promoting people to marriage. And you didn't even do the steps in order to become the manager. You didn't do the steps to become the wife, and now you're getting promoted to be that why we're building things on weak foundations. And that's the problem. A lot of people are doing that. They're moving swiftly. They're not getting to know a person correctly. They're not seeing them in rough situations. They're not seeing them when it's mad. You don't. You people want. Want to judge every little thing, but they don't judge a. When you see them, when something really gets hit and you see how that person really acts and it's like, no, I'm down for you. What's up? Like, people don't acknowledge those moments. They want to acknowledge all the other. And that's the problem. People are looking past the things that matter and are rocking with another person who ain't even showing up in them ways and promoting them type of people to marriage. And then they're mad at the world and all women and all men. No be mad at yourself for not acknowledging the fact that this person wasn't even in the position to become that husband or wife, period, point blank. And now you judging every other person that comes along. That's not how that works. There's a lot of people who build strong foundations and have serious marriages. And when things get rough and things get foul, they're going to stay with you. They are going to rock with you. You're gonna make mistakes, but they are going to be down for you. You, period. Unfortunately, we live in a community, especially within the black community, where we don't see that enough. But that is real and it happens. I have five sisters, all married for more than 20 years. And that has happened. I have. My parents are 75. You know how much they can't stand each other, but they are in that period. So like, there's a lot of examples of that. We don't highlight that enough. We don't talk about that enough because we talk about all the negative constantly about what women and men need to be doing better. But what we really need to be doing better is really rocking with each other and building on a strong foundation, being a good person, having real conversations, having tough conversations, and learning how to grow and build together with each other and as a community.

[Paul Pierce]

You cook today. You cook today. Hey, no, no, no. Give me a hug. Give me a hug on that.

[Azar Faraday]

No, I'm not getting. You almost got me. You almost got me. You almost got me.

[Paul Pierce]

Thanks for joining us, y'. All. Azar, you cook today, man. Check it out, man. Make sure you follow us, like, subscribe, man. It really goes a long way for us. We continue to grow. We got a live show, like I said, coming up. Check my Instagram this week. Check Azar Fair Days. You can find a location here in LA if you're in the LA area.

[Azar Faraday]

On Valentine's Day.

[Paul Pierce]

On Valentine's Day, we're doing a live podcast, podcast and afterparty. So make sure you follow, like, subscribe so you can get the updates, man. Thanks for joining us again for another episode of the Truth After Dark.

[Azar Faraday]

And we will put the link in the description for the ticket sales, by the way, so you guys can find it in the description below. Thank you so much.

[Paul Pierce]

There you have it. This is to taking over the game. All right, everybody, welcome to Truth After Dark.

[Azar Faraday]

Do you think that men or women are more toxic? Toxic?

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[Azar Faraday]

I feel totally fine.

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[Paul Pierce]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Azar Faraday]

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