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Azar Faraday
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Marcus Black
If you have not been taught how to be married and you sign up to get married, you're signing up for divorce court. Most women, their truth is truth after dark. Their truth is how they feel. Their feelings are their truth. You know what I'm saying? But it's not the truth, though. Any woman who's trying to pull you away from what God calls you to do is a distraction, man. She's an op, man. You know, real love can only be demonstrated after an offense. You can tell me you love me, and I can choose to believe it, but until I wrong you, and again, I'm not saying, hey, put her through the ringer to see if she with it.
Azar Faraday
Nah, to call you. Did you hear his thing?
Marcus Black
Huh?
Azar Faraday
He said, cheat on your woman to see if she loves you.
Marcus Black
I saw that clip.
Azar Faraday
You said that there's a. A certain part of a man that has to die in order for a woman to submit. Can you explain that right after that?
Marcus Black
Huh? Let's. Let's get to the. Okay, I'm with you. So
Azar Faraday
that was. That was genuinely my next question.
Marcus Black
We gonna get back to these real quick.
Paul Pierce
This is the taking over the game. All right, everybody. Welcome to Truth After Dark.
Azar Faraday
Do you think that men or women are more toxic? Hello, beautiful people. Welcome to another episode of the Truth After Dark. I am your host, Azar Faraday.
Paul Pierce
Your boy, Paul Pierce.
Azar Faraday
And today we have a very special guest in the building. He's the author of book Bulletproof Love, host of the podcast Two Sides of the Game, and someone who's constantly dropping real relationship gems. Welcome Marcus Black.
Marcus Black
Man, Thank y' all for having me, man. Of course. Happy to be here, man. I've been seeing y' all content a lot. Yeah, I've. I've had my thoughts.
Azar Faraday
Well, they're here to share them.
Marcus Black
Yeah. So awesome.
Paul Pierce
Come in line. Step in line.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're super excited to have you. I feel like you obviously been married, you said, for nine years now, together for 11.
Marcus Black
Yeah.
Azar Faraday
So that's incredible. I mean, these days, you obviously don't see that all the time, especially in our community, so that's really dope. And, you know, I feel like you'd be talking that talk, so we're excited to have you on.
Paul Pierce
You talked about and you played a clip, and I want to kind of, like, touch on that. You said, you know, you need to stop playing house.
Marcus Black
Yeah.
Paul Pierce
And, like. Like, what do you mean by that? You talked about it, but, like, people don't know. People Are scared to make the jump. You said playing house in a relationship, like living together, paying bills, kids together, but you ain't made the jump. What do you mean?
Marcus Black
So, you know, most people just don't understand what marriage is in the first place, right? Marriage is like a contract. Doesn't make you married, covenant makes you married. And you enter a covenant without a contract, you know what I'm saying? Now, and the land that we live in in America, a contract is of value, right? I have a. I have an actual contract and it's valuable for me because if anything happens to me, my wife has direct access to everything by law, you know what I'm saying? If I wasn't locked in with her on paper, they may get his access to, you know, my mother or my child, you know what I mean? That has direct blood to me, you know what I mean? I give it to her. So. But covenant, right? And for me, my reference point is the Bible, right? My reference point is scripture. And when I'm talking to people, it doesn't even. Let's say. Let's say you're not. Let's say you don't believe in what I believe in, which is completely okay, right. But one thing about the Holy Scriptures, right, is it's been tested over time. So, right? Even if we don't believe in the same God, we know that this system works. It's been proven, you know what I'm saying, for thousands and thousands of years. There's nothing new under the sun. You gotta be crazy to think that you gonna come over here, be born in the 80s or whatever, and here you come with a new plan, you gonna run your own plane. It's gonna work. It doesn't work, you know what I mean? And I learned from experience. I learned from busting my head wide open to the white meat, trying to figure out what works. And so from going to therapy and going to, you know what I'm saying? Just trying everything, trying to figure out how it works. I found out that the wisdom that's given in the scriptures is not only factual, but man. It's imperative that you apply it. You know, marriage only works one way. Marriage only works in first place, it doesn't work in second place. You know what I mean? It has to, like. It has to go above everything. It has to go above your parents, your children, have to go against. Above your hobbies, your homeboys, you know what I'm saying? If you're not ready for that level of sacrifice, yeah, then don't even enter, you know, Right, Right, man.
Paul Pierce
So how did you know you was ready? You said you've been married for nine together, 11 at what point? Like you. So I guess y' all was together two years, and then you was like, all right, it's time, right?
Marcus Black
So for me, you know, my situation was a mess, you know what I'm saying? Most people know that, you know what I mean? I was married before, you know what I mean? This is the second marriage, right? So my oldest daughter will be 15 this week, right? So my first marriage, you know, we was on. On and off for some years, and the actual marriage lasted about six months. Realistically, less. A little less than a year, right? And I said I was never getting married again. I wasn't married. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for marriage when I got married the first time.
Azar Faraday
And.
Marcus Black
But I just knew I wanted to figure it out, you know what I mean? For my child, even. And not necessarily marriage, just the dynamic between men and women. I wanted to understand that. I wanted to figure out how to have a harmonious relationship with a woman without the shenanigans, you know what I'm saying, With all the nonsense. So I met my wife, Brooke, and 2015, and it be like that, man. Right after I say, man, I'll never get married again, then I meet her and I'm like, damn, that's definitely her.
Paul Pierce
I feel you on that.
Marcus Black
It's definitely her, you know what I mean? So I met her. And we begin today. And there's a long journey in between there. But to answer your question, I wasn't ready when I got married, you know what I mean? I knew I wasn't afraid of commitment, you know what I mean? I wasn't afraid of covenant, but I didn't know enough to be afraid of it, you know what I mean? No one's teaching us how to be married. No one's teaching men how to be husband. No one's teaching women how to be wives. We're not taught how to cover how to ban our home, you know what I'm saying? Husband means. It comes from the root word husband, like it means house ban. No one taught me how to. How to ban my home, you know what I'm saying? I didn't know, you know what I'm saying? My father didn't necessarily know, and I'm sure his dad didn't know. So where's this information coming from, you know, like, marriage is the only license that you can go get, Pretty much. I can't think any other license that you can go get. And you don't gotta pass a test. You don't gotta read a book. You don't have to do nothing to prove that you know what you're signing up to do. You just pay your little $250 and you are now clear to ruin your life. You know what I'm saying? And that's all we do. We be. We fried. We really be barbecuing ourselves, jumping into this machine, this system that was created by God, and we don't know how to work it. Yeah. You know, so.
Paul Pierce
So what do you. If we don't know how to work it, why do it?
Marcus Black
And that's a great question. And I don't. And I think that marriage is not even for everyone, you know, it's extremely valuable. It's been one of the greatest blessings in my life for my overall evolution and maturation, just as a man. You know what I mean? Like, when a man and a woman can figure out the chemistry, how to move harmoniously, when we understand our roles, right? It's certain things that my wife can see that I just can't see. And there's certain things I can see that she just can't see. And so we're better together, we're better working in tandem, but we have to understand the roles. Like, what do you do? How do you function at your best? What keeps you functioning at a high level, and vice versa. You know, we have to learn one another cleaving together. You know, the Bible says in. In Genesis 2, it says a man should leave his mother and his father, and he should. And you cleave to your wife, and two become one. So in a marriage, you cannot move as one and function. It creates dysfunction. So it's all about learning how to do it. If you have not been taught how to be married, and you sign up to get married, you're signing up for divorce court, or you're signing up to be miserable. Because I want to say the divorce rate is roughly around 50% still. Right. But I think it's a lot higher than that. I honestly think it's around 70, 80%, because I think there's still another 20, 30% of people who are unhappily married. They're just. They're loyal to one another, but their relationship's trash. The relationship's been finished. The marriage has been, you know what I'm saying, stepped on. You know what I mean? So
Paul Pierce
this is like, I'm listening to you. What's the. Is there tough conversations you have to have Is there going through stuff you have to go through some bad things. How did you learn to be married? Like, what is it that you talked about? What is it you went through?
Marcus Black
Well, I think the first thing you have to know is that you don't know.
Paul Pierce
Okay?
Marcus Black
Like, women hit me every single day. Like, if my husband could just be more like you, you don't want him to be like me. I was a fool, right? You know what I'm saying? I was a fool with it. You know what I'm saying? So the difference between me and perhaps the man that you're dating is simply desire. I knew I had it wrong. I knew I hadn't seen it right, and I wanted to get it right. You know what I mean? You know, we come from the era of the Cosby show, you know, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Home, Family Matters. I would see these shows, and I'm like, man, is this just tv, or is it possible that it go like this? Cause I've never seen this. Not just. Not in my home growing up. I haven't seen this in nobody's home. And what I realized is there. It's just not being taught. So for me, this. What happened. So after my first marriage, crash and burning and infidelity was never a conversation, and I still ended up divorced. And I thought that that's what women leave for. And I'm like, what the hell is going on? How I end up here anyway? Which pushed me to be like, well, I'm gonna just do my thing regardless. Why would I sacrifice everything for a woman? And there's conditions on it, you know what I'm saying? You really don't love me unconditionally. You really don't. You're really not gonna be there for me. For me, no matter what. Like most women, their. Their truth is truth after dark. Their truth is how they feel. Right. Their feelings are their truth. Right. You know what I'm saying? But it's. But it's not the truth, though.
Paul Pierce
Right?
Marcus Black
Right.
Azar Faraday
So that's a real statement.
Marcus Black
So for me, I had a very. And this is very. This is public. You know what I mean? I cheated on my wife. Right. And it's not my girlfriend. I cheated on my wife. Right. And I wasn't wrong for how I felt. I was wrong for how I expressed how I went about it. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it's crazy, man. She didn't leave me. She chose me. And I'm not co signing a woman. I'm not saying, yo, stay with a man who is emotionally abusive and cannot and doesn't understand covenant. Can't sit down. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is I had a moment where I was truly out of character or I didn't want to say out of character. Finding my character in this space. I know who I am as a single man, but I don't even know who I am as a husband or as a father or as a proposed even what this looks like, right? And in our society, one of the biggest issues is we're not allowed to make mistakes and recover. You know what I'm saying? As black men, if you make a mistake with the cops, they're going to kill you. You make a mistake with your own in your community, with your brothers, they're going to kill you. You make a mistake, a mistake with your woman, she gonna leave you. There's no grace. And you know real love can only be demonstrated after an offense. You can tell me you love me and I can choose to believe it. But until I wronged you, and again, I'm not saying, hey, put her through the wringer to see if she with it. Nah.
Azar Faraday
Cause call you. Did you hear his thing?
Marcus Black
Huh?
Azar Faraday
He said cheat on your woman to see if she loves you.
Marcus Black
I saw that clip. I kind of. That's why I wanted to make sure I was just. Cause I don't want to get already prayed for him.
Paul Pierce
But I said you have to go through something major.
Azar Faraday
But this is the thing that I have a question about and I think women obviously reach out to you and you speak a lot on stuff and
Marcus Black
you're getting us fried out here.
Azar Faraday
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Download the Prize Picks app today and use code TAD to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code TAD to get $50in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right. I will say this. This is what I would probably ask for the women, right? At what point do you think that it's like, I'm staying with you and you did this. Right. Versus I'm staying with you and you did this, so now you think it's okay to play with me? Because there's a thin line between that. There's a man who's like, oh, well, she's not gonna leave me because I done did this, I done that. There's also a thin line where a man might feel, like, not even appreciative that you are staying with them through all these things. So how does a woman know that when it's like, hey, I know women ask this question a lot. Like, how do you know when it's like, I should stay, or, hey, I should probably leave because you're going to continue to disrespect me now? Now that I stayed, you think it's okay? Because a lot of men will be like, well, she stayed with me when I cheated, so I'm going to just cheat again. She probably go stay again, and I'm going to cheat again, and she probably going to stay again. And then a woman gets broken down that way. So what is your advice on that?
Marcus Black
So that's. That's. That's. That's a form of abuse, right? Yeah, it's kind of like, you know, you shooting up dope and like, well, I didn't die. I didn't overdose this time. Let's go for it again.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marcus Black
I don't know why I put that analogy from my nephew.
Paul Pierce
That was a good one. It felt good at the time.
Marcus Black
It felt right, you know, so. So I would say, in all things, heart, posture matters. Right to this day, one of the biggest failures, or I'll say one of the lowest points of my life is that moment. You know what I'm saying? My infidelity, it's one of the lowest points of my life. Because it's not that I was wrong for how I felt. I just never thought, like, my character. I'm a very solid individual, grounded individual. I just never thought that I would get to the point where I let Somebody come tell my wife something, you know what I mean? I always felt like I would be able to sit down and have a conversation with her and be like, well, this is how I feel and this what I'm on and this is what I'm about to do about it, you know what I mean? Even from the perspective, because the healthy way is to sit down and have a conversation and you guys decide together what y' all gonna do about it.
Paul Pierce
Yeah, right.
Marcus Black
About how you feel. But even on a selfish one, it's like it felt very cowardly. It felt, it felt, it felt, felt like I was running. It felt scary, you know what I mean? Like, like I was ducking something, you know what I mean? And I just, I didn't like that. That on my, I didn't like that on my, on my conscience. I didn't, I didn't like how that felt as a man, you know what I'm saying? Tucking my tail like borderline, you know, in a way having two different lives, you know what I mean? Like I'm. I'm living over here like this and she's oblivious because, you know, I'm not absent at home emotionally, financially, spiritually. Physically, I'm not absent at all.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
And I'm just doing this on the side and, you know, so for me, that was an all time low. It bothered me. And I would say this is how a woman should gauge it if a man is cheating. Right? Because cheating is wrong. We know cheating is wrong. Cheating is absolutely wrong. Right. And what is cheating? Cheating is anything outside what we agreed on. If we signed up to do this and we say this is what we doing, and you step outside of that, that's cheating. Breaking any agreement, breaking a business agreement. I told you I was going to be here at 11, right? If I did a no show, no call, hey, that's foul. Even though we didn't have no paperwork, we had a verbal agreement, it's wrong. So we have to first be able to call. Wrong. Wrong. Right. So first cheating is wrong. But if the person who made the offense is not bothered by the offense, then we have a larger issue, right? If a man or woman can break an agreement and feel nothing, then we have an issue here. You know, that's where you can decide whether you want to move forward, right. With this dynamic. You know what I mean? For me, I felt terrible. I felt this big. It really, really bothered me, if you can tell. It still bothers me, you know what I mean? It still bothers me that because, you know, that's just how life is. Once you got a mark on you marked out for life, that's life. People forget the great things that you did, but these. And my wife has completely forgiven me. I'm just talking about society. I will forever be known as well, you cheated on Brooke. When you was mad, it's like, you know what I mean?
Azar Faraday
Did you. Was that. Did that play out on TV when you were. You were on Love and hip hop, you and your wife? Yeah, I do remember that. Was that happening on. I don't watch that show, but was that happening on there or was it. Is that how it became public?
Marcus Black
That actually didn't happen on there, but when we did lovin, like that actual situation didn't happen on tv, but when we did Love and hip hop family reunion, Brooke talked about it on there.
Azar Faraday
Okay, got it.
Marcus Black
So then that's how that went public.
Azar Faraday
Got it.
Marcus Black
But yeah, like, if somebody makes an offense and they can't say, listen, I'm wrong, that wasn't okay. I actually don't think that was okay. You know what I'm saying? And then from there, like, for one, I didn't do no lying. You know what I mean? I put my hands up and just told her everything that she could have even thought that she might have wanted to know. Right. I was fully transparent. And then I began to do the work. You know what I mean?
Azar Faraday
What does the work look like?
Marcus Black
It's a good question. It started with me, just at the time. I used to live off of Laurel Canyon, Ventura. Right. So there's like a. It was like a Barnes and Noble right across the street. So I'm at Barnes and Noble at this time. A few times a week. I just go over there for hours. I'm choosing books. I'm reading books in there. I spent countless hours in the self help section trying to just figure out, what is this thing? What is this whole thing about? What allows me to move like this? What is the root of it? And then getting therapy. I met my therapist, Dr. Fuller, and she helped me tremendously unpack this childhood trauma. There's so many things that we deal. When I talk about this in my book, Bulletproof Love, there's so much. There's so much trauma from being children, you know what I'm saying? Young black men in America that no one ever thinks about. And it's all. We just carry it around because we're not allowed to cry. You acting like a little girl. You know what I'm saying? We're not allowed to vent about it. You Know what I mean? We're not allowed to. We just suppress. And suppression is not deliverance, you know what I mean? So it's crazy. When I met my biological father, I met my biological father when I was 27 years old, and it tripped me out. Cause I walk like him, I talk like him. Our natures are similar, though. Like, I struggle in the same areas he struggles. I'm dominant in the same areas where he's dominant, you know what I mean? And it's crazy because the scriptures going back to the Bible, it says that the sins of a father is passed down two and three generations. It's certain things Paul got to deal with as a man that he never asked for. It's in his bloodline either from his father, from his grandfather, from his great grandfather. Generational trauma, generational patterns, generational curses, it's all there. But if my father or his father, anybody's dad, is not sitting down and be like, listen, and our bloodline, this what we deal with. And you got to watch out for this because this is going to cause this. Like, I dealt with alcoholism, so off top, you know what I'm saying? My little girls, I had to let them know, hey, guys, addiction is, is. Is in our family, you know what I'm saying? So it's not that you don't have a drink, but you have to understand that this thing right here will consume you faster than it consumes somebody else. We have to let them know so they can know how to squat. How you, how can you, how can you, how can you take a fade that you don't know, that you don't know exists?
Paul Pierce
Boom. Yeah.
Marcus Black
So that's the biggest thing, you know what I mean? Having so much childhood trauma that I got into therapy and I was able to unpack going back to being eight years old and being molested by my babysitter. You don't know the impact that has on you long term sexually.
Azar Faraday
No, I'm sorry.
Marcus Black
Would you be surprised how many young men. It's not looked at like that. I know when a young woman is touched, a little girl is touched. It's not viewed like when a little boy is touched.
Azar Faraday
We talk about this all the time. Yeah, it's real. And a lot of young boys, especially black men, were molested. And for them, it's looked at like, well, he's a man, so he wants sex and he want, like that's popping for him, that an older woman wants him. But it scars a man and it makes him move differently because of that. And it's not addressed because men can be predatory. But with women, we don't say that about women.
Marcus Black
When it's real, it actually can turn us into a predator though, right? Because what I didn't know was happening. So I grew up in a matriarch, right? Like a female dominated family. And I love women and I respect women, I honor women. But subconsciously I had this desire deep down inside that I didn't even know was there to actually conquer women because I was conquered by a woman as a child, you know what I'm saying? And so there's certain women of power, right? Or not even power. Just when I, when I was, when I, when I was growing up, like my teenage years, 20s, I see a woman who is dominant, right? Who was dominated, man, she mistreats man, she handles men a certain way. She's just dominant. And in my, like, sexually, it's like, yeah, we know how to shut that right up. You know what I'm saying? And it's sick, you know?
Azar Faraday
Yeah, that's the, that's a, that's a, that's a thing that a lot of men deal with. So thank you for speaking on it because I feel like the more men that speak on it, the more men will realize that, you know, it's an issue. You know, I think a lot of people don't even realize that.
Marcus Black
Sure.
Azar Faraday
You spoke about a lot of men leaving their purpose partner. Can you explain that a little bit and what that means and what is a purpose partner?
Marcus Black
So when God created us, right? He create, he created a solution to a problem, right? And there's a huge misconception growing up that our job is our purpose, right? You got Paul, who's known worldwide for a particular thing, right? And we often confuse that as purpose. You know what I mean? If we're not taught otherwise, right? When God created Marcus, God created a solution to a problem, right? When you sit here, that's your purpose. Your responsibility is to, like, you have different things. You have your area, you have your purpose and your calling. And you have your talents, right? And skills. And then you have areas of, of grace. And all these things are supposed to work together. Now your purpose partner is who God has enabled to assist, to assist you on that journey of becoming who God called you to be and solve the problem that God called you to solve, right? So a lot of times we'll get into relationships because if that's not the foundation of the relationship, we're just wasting everybody's time. Yeah, right. The only thing, you know, my podcast the clip went viral because I was saying that my wife goes above everything, right? The only thing that goes above my wife is my God and what he told me to do. You know what I'm saying? That she comes second to that. But it's not really second, though, because her and I are one now. If now a girlfriend goes second, but my wife moves with me, you know what I'm saying? Like Nick Cannon said in the Drum, like one band, one sound, right? So she doesn't take the back burner to my purpose because she understands her role in my purpose. So she works with me. She doesn't work against me. Any woman who's trying to pull you away from what God calls you to do is a distraction, man. She's an op, man.
Paul Pierce
I'm not dealing with that.
Marcus Black
She's an opponent of God, actually. And we can't treat them like that because she doesn't know that. For one and two, you didn't know something because you shouldn't even be with a woman who is an opponent of what God sent you here to do. You shouldn't even be over there. But that's not how I go. You know what I'm saying? She pretty, you know what I mean? Low waist, fat ass, good personality, you know, and we just tap in. We like, listen, well, I get to my purpose later. Right now I got one purpose for you, and you know what I mean? I just need you to come help me in another area.
Azar Faraday
But you talked about your purpose partner challenging you in a lot of ways. And I feel like you spoke about how that usually makes a man be like, you know what? I'm leaving this situation. I'm gonna go over here where this person isn't challenging me to grow or isn't being like, calling me out on things or making me communicate, making me be vulnerable. Like, they. Men will be like, I'm leaving this and I'm gonna go get with the girl. That's just cool, fat ass. We don't have to talk about nothing. We don't have to grow in this situation. What. What is your thoughts on that? Like, why do you.
Marcus Black
How do.
Paul Pierce
It's maturity though, too.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, yeah.
Paul Pierce
You know, when you young and you just fresh into adulthood, you. You don't. Oh, I don't even know how many people really looking for something, like, long term, you know, you just like, you looking at the outer person. As you get older, you be like, you start valuing what they can bring to the table. You know, it's more than just a look at a Certain point.
Marcus Black
I just think. I think perspective, like our vantage points aren't the same. You know what I'm saying? I wasn't 21 years old with a million dollars. So what I need from a woman and what you needed from a woman was not the same thing. You know what I mean? And we can't approach it from the same place. You know what I mean? I need a woman to help me build. Right? You didn't need a woman to. At least you didn't perceive at that time that you needed a woman to help you build. Because the. What we've been fed as young man, as young men, is once you have this certain level of monetary success that you've made it, it doesn't matter how much we lack mentally or emotionally or whether we found our purpose or not. You know what I mean? So you were asking me about men walking away from their purpose partners, right? And it really just comes down to the road, least resistance. And most men have. You gotta think. Most men haven't even identified what their purpose is in the first place. That's not even something we're pushed to. For real, you know what I'm saying? Listen, we are taught to go get you some money, and anything attached to that we feel like is our purpose. I know I got young homies that sell dope. I got older homies that sell dope and would tell you that that's their purpose because they're taking care of their family. So they're doing what God's. And it's like, man, I know people that do all type of wild things in the world, good and bad, and it's not necessarily their purpose, if you will. Like, your path is your path. Right? So. And your path is a part of your purpose, Right? Because without you playing basketball, you don't have the platform. Right? So God used this skill and this gift that he gave you to give you a platform. So then. So now you can do what he actually called you to do now. Now that. Now that you've become who I'm saying, like who you are in this space now, you. God gave you influence. Like, we not gonna act like everybody that has a talent and has money has influence. Right? Right. We not gonna act like every legend in a space has influence. Right. You know what I mean? Nobody wants to hear what Tim Duncan has to say on the podcast. And he's top 10 dead or alive, in my opinion.
Paul Pierce
Yeah, for sure.
Marcus Black
You know what I'm saying?
Paul Pierce
For sure.
Marcus Black
But we don't. We don't really care about his opinion, though.
Paul Pierce
Yeah.
Marcus Black
You know what I mean? So when God gives you the people. When God gives. When God plants something in you, this is spiritual, like I'm saying, to attract the people, to attract the masses. It's. It's not for you, it's for him. When God gives a woman beauty, it's not for you, it's for him. When God gives you certain gifts, these are just draws so that you can point people in the right direction. We supposed to be out here directing traffic.
Paul Pierce
That's all it's about.
Marcus Black
But we don't know that. Who's teaching it? Who gonna teach us? And that's why. Well, what he sent me for, that's the solution. I'm. That's the. That's the problem. I'm. That I'm one of the people he sent to fix. And that's why I use my platform to do so. I thought I was gonna be Jay Z, you know what I'm saying? Like, man, I signed my first record deal. I was 19 years old. My wave was, like, between, like, 2009 to, like, 2011, you know what I mean? My first mixtape, my second mixtape was hosted by DJ Drama and DJ Khaled. I was scorching. I had the streets of Chicago on fire. I had the streets. Southern California. I was going crazy. Marino Valley, I'm in the. I'm going crazy.
Paul Pierce
Yeah.
Marcus Black
I thought I was gonna be Jay Z. And I watched all my peers fly by me.
Paul Pierce
Yeah.
Marcus Black
And it's not a talent thing. Like, I'm respected amongst all my peers.
Paul Pierce
Yeah.
Marcus Black
You know what I'm saying? Like Drake. No. Meek. No. Like Cole. No. Game Wiz. They. King Lowe's. Everybody with a gun, they know I got a gun. But it doesn't matter, you know what I'm saying? And you'd be surprised how many people spend their whole life pursuing something and like. Cause you know this, man, if God don't touch it, it don't. How many niggas you know was wild on the court? Yeah.
Paul Pierce
I know cast iron rap today. And they my age, still trying to come on.
Marcus Black
Cause if God don't touch it, it's over with. You know what I'm saying? So. But I thought that my gift. I thought my purpose was to rap and my purpose is to teach. It just so happens I can teach through music. I can teach through my books. I can teach through a platform like that. I can teach many different ways. And I still do teach through my music. I still do allow my music to speak in a certain way. But it wasn't my purpose, you know what I mean? So we just got to be cognizant of these things. You have to look at, where has God given you grace? When grace is an area where, like, things, it just be easy, you know what I'm saying? Like, there's certain things I'm talented, super talented at, but I always. I have to fight for it. This over here is effortless. I post a clip, 2 million views, because God planted something in me. And this is where he gave me grace, because this is what he wants me doing. You know what I mean? Not that he's like, well, I don't ever want you rapping again, but that's not. He wanted me doing it like this. That's why he touched it, you know what I'm saying? There's so many young men who are incredible. You got niggas in LA like Frank Nitty. That's incredible.
Azar Faraday
That's funny. Cause I know him.
Marcus Black
He's incredible. That's the homie. Phenomenal person, phenomenal husband. The guy's just. But if you pay attention to his grace, right, he's found his grace. And I believe, honestly, he'll probably be like the next Jay Lorenzo or something like that in the fashion space, you know what I mean? And he uses his platform socially, you know what I'm saying? As an influencer, basketball is a vehicle, you know what I'm saying? So we have to start leaning towards you got to look at the floor and be like, okay, where did God give me grace? You know what I'm saying? Shaq Gate has grace in the paint. He don't have no grace on the perimeter.
Paul Pierce
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Marcus Black
Okay.
Azar Faraday
And you're just going to tell me which one you would choose.
Marcus Black
Okay.
Azar Faraday
Just a quick like thing. So this segment is brought to you by Rose Sparks. Okay. So being right or keeping the piece.
Marcus Black
Mm, keeping the peace.
Paul Pierce
Ah,
Marcus Black
nah. Cause I don't wanna get on here and be that. Be like, let's not cap. Right. It's supposed to be keeping the peace.
Azar Faraday
Okay.
Marcus Black
But sometimes I just be like, you just need to know, you know what I mean? But that's wrong though. But it's wrong though. But I deal with it sometime though, you know what I mean?
Azar Faraday
Okay, so what about winning the argument or winning the relationship?
Marcus Black
Oh, winning the relationship for sure.
Azar Faraday
Okay, that's a good one. Saying what you feel or saying what won't start a fight.
Marcus Black
I think both are important. I just think, I just think how you communicate what you feel is very important.
Azar Faraday
Okay. Walking away to cool off or talking it out immediately.
Marcus Black
Oh, we have to cool off.
Azar Faraday
Yeah. Men always want to cool off. I get that though. Yeah, I get that.
Paul Pierce
Because we gonna say something we don't mean.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, I get that. I get that.
Marcus Black
Just to add to this real quick, a major hack in my relationship with my wife and I was we decided when we're in heated, in a heated space, we text, we don't talk on the phone, we don't talk face to face. When I, what I found is when I write out what I say, what I, how I feel, I look at it and I'll be like, ah, she gonna take this like that. This is crazy. Let me delete this.
Paul Pierce
Yeah.
Marcus Black
Or well, let me add this in or that's gonna piss her off. Delete that.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
Right. As to where if she's standing in front of me, it kind of just flies.
Azar Faraday
But you know what I will say, I think that's great because I'm a writer and I love to write things out. But I think a lot of men, you're might be an exception. But a lot of men feel like once they see a paragraph even Paul has said this. If a woman texts this log, it's blowing him. Like he doesn't even want to read that. He can't read that.
Marcus Black
But you know what he will read?
Azar Faraday
What?
Marcus Black
A contract with some M's on it. So it just comes down to how valuable what we reading is, right? When I see a click to open, I check out immediately. Unless it's from my wife. Because if she's sending me a four page letter and text, that click to open, she trying to get something off her chest, right? I gotta just sit here and read it. As much as this just pissed me off.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, see I have that because I'm like, I know men, they gonna see that and be like, girl, I'm not reading all of this shit. Like that's what it gives me.
Paul Pierce
That's different from a wife. And just somebody you, somebody you just hanging out with 100%, you know what I'm saying?
Marcus Black
Girls have sent me a click to
Paul Pierce
open and I'm like, and to this
Marcus Black
day I don't know what she said, right?
Paul Pierce
For real. To this day I don't know what she said.
Azar Faraday
So it's a different. If it's your girl versus just I
Marcus Black
don't have to die for you. I don't have to sacrifice my ego because really I don't feel like it. That's what it come down to. And I don't have to feel like it for you.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Okay. Protecting your ego or protecting your partner's feelings.
Marcus Black
Protecting our feelings every time.
Azar Faraday
I love that. Letting small things slide or addressing everything.
Marcus Black
Letting small things. Sorry if it ain't about nothing.
Paul Pierce
Pick your battles.
Marcus Black
Yeah. 100.
Azar Faraday
Okay. Being understood or being loved?
Marcus Black
Both.
Azar Faraday
You have to choose one.
Marcus Black
I feel, I feel love when. When you understand me. When you, when you desire to understand me. Like you going out your way to try to see why I'm being understood makes me feel loved.
Azar Faraday
Okay. Okay. Got it. Thank you for that.
Paul Pierce
Being loved or being respected?
Marcus Black
I feel loved when you respect me.
Azar Faraday
So being respected, I feel like men honor respect a lot.
Marcus Black
Men still love R E S P
Azar Faraday
E C T. Exactly.
Marcus Black
Like if you don't. Like I be telling women all the time, like if you don't respect him, then it's over. Leave him alone.
Azar Faraday
I say that, too.
Marcus Black
I'm not biologically like, nigga, I don't even work. I don't want to touch you. I don't want. Yeah, I'm not interested. Disrespect. I have. Let me just tell you something.
Paul Pierce
That's what I'm saying.
Marcus Black
Hit my trick. I have no tolerance.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
I have none. I don't do none of that raising voice, fingers, all in. All talking off. I don't. Let me tell you something. No. I have no grace for it. Not anything. You can say what you mean, and you can mean what you say, but you have to figure out how to say that.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I agree with that. I think that women. I have a viral clip like this. If you don't respect a man, because women will lose respect for men in relationships based on the things that they do. And you'll start to be like, I had this man here, and now he's bringing me down, down, down. By your actions, right? But I always tell women, if you get to that level where you don't respect a man, you have to leave him alone, because it's gonna get to a point where you guys are not gonna be able to, like, function.
Marcus Black
You cannot get to the level. You have to check yourself. See, this was wrong in America. Please tell me you just got me going again.
Azar Faraday
Go ahead, Go ahead. Go ahead, please.
Marcus Black
You know, the problem in our world is we think that honor is based off performance, and honor is based off a position. Right? If you are in the military, right? And you are. Let's say you are. E2, E3, you know what I'm saying? Or entry level and a major general walk by. It wouldn't matter if it's somebody from his family killed somebody in your family, it wouldn't matter. His sexuality, it wouldn't matter. His religious beliefs, it wouldn't matter if he cheated on his wife. It wouldn't matter if he talk crazy to you every time you see him. You have to respect that badge, them stripes on his chest. You have to respect him.
Azar Faraday
But you're speaking of a place of a covenant and a marriage. There's situations in which you are not married to this person or you guys have not created a covenant so you don't have to. I have to respect that guy because I'm now in a contract where I'm here. If I'm not in the Navy and in the army, and I see him and he killed my brother. I don't respect him, and I'm not going to honor you like I do if you would have not showed up at 11am Say it one more time.
Marcus Black
I missed you.
Azar Faraday
My point is, is like, you know, you spoke about, like, you don't, like, if you didn't show up today on time and it was a no call, no show, I would have lost respect. Like, I'm not going to work with him. And you would have done the same for someone else. Right? But when you are in a marriage, you have to re you. That is your job. But when people are not married or whatever it is and someone's dating someone
Paul Pierce
in a relationship, say not married in a relationship.
Azar Faraday
If you're in a relationship, people lose respect for their partner while they're getting to know them.
Marcus Black
Yeah, people do, but it's not okay.
Paul Pierce
It's not cool.
Marcus Black
It's not okay. Because like the video I just posted while I'm about to post as soon as I leave here that I played for you guys this morning, a lot of people are married and you don't even know you're married. Okay, let's go. If we want to go back to the biblical times, to how everything. Once a man. What's the word? Consummates. Like once consummates. Once a man goes up in you, it's a dub for one. But we don't even, we don't even play ball on that level no more. We don't even value pureness no more in our society.
Azar Faraday
Right, Exactly.
Marcus Black
But if you are being one with one, like I said in this, in the video, if you, if you guys live together, right, it's beyond dating, you guys. Once you got. Here's another word for marriage, right? A committed relationship. Once you guys are committed, you've chosen one another. It's merged already. It's a rap. Ain't nothing you can do about that. So again, whether you're in the military, whether you're at work, right? If somebody works at Costco and you want to register and you feel disrespected by the manager, right? You have to watch how you talk to that man or you'll lose your job.
Azar Faraday
Well, no, this is what I'm saying. I'm not saying that you should talk crazy, but losing respect is a real thing, whether you act on it or not. You can check yourself like, you can lose respect for someone and not disrespect them.
Marcus Black
Okay?
Azar Faraday
You know what I'm saying?
Marcus Black
Let's go. Ephesians 5, go ahead, please. Let's go. Ephesians 5 real quick.
Azar Faraday
Go ahead, please.
Marcus Black
Because this sets the whole.
Paul Pierce
Losing respect for somebody. You already disrespect them.
Azar Faraday
How do you control losing? Like, for instance, if a woman did something to you that's, like, wild, you lose respect for her. You can't tell me you have not lost respect for a woman that does something out of pocket, that you're like, oh, she went here and did this. She blasted me on the Internet. She did this. She did that.
Paul Pierce
That's disrespect.
Azar Faraday
But I'm saying you also lose respect for that.
Marcus Black
We're not called to respect y'. All. We're called to love y' all and be gentle with you guys. You guys are called to respect and honor us. We don't need the same things.
Azar Faraday
But you're telling me if someone does something to cross that line.
Marcus Black
What line? Give me. Give me an example. Because one thing with women, also, you guys create lines on your own that God never created. This line. This is a line you guys created.
Azar Faraday
I understand.
Marcus Black
And y' all stand on the other side of it. And y' all with such pride. And it be like, who said that was a violation?
Azar Faraday
I understand that. But, like, for instance, emotional abuse.
Marcus Black
What does that look like?
Azar Faraday
Constantly cheating, constantly lying, constantly doing things that cross the. Cross the line that we agreed upon in a relationship. Women, after a while, you don't look at that man in the same light.
Marcus Black
You got to carry the respect.
Azar Faraday
You can carry the respect. That doesn't mean internally, you don't feel the same about it.
Marcus Black
Not. Boom.
Azar Faraday
That's what I'm trying to say.
Marcus Black
Okay, well, then we could.
Azar Faraday
That's the whole thing I'm trying to say.
Marcus Black
Right?
Paul Pierce
Right.
Marcus Black
Well, no, yeah.
Azar Faraday
I keep saying that. Like, you're not going to act on the disrespect, which eternally. You can look at this man in a different light. And I say, when women feel that way, that's when you should consider walking away.
Marcus Black
Well, if that's what you said.
Azar Faraday
That was my whole point.
Marcus Black
Well, I missed my.
Azar Faraday
I was my fault. I probably didn't verbalize that correctly.
Marcus Black
My apologies.
Azar Faraday
But that's what I was. That's all I'm trying to say.
Marcus Black
I missed it.
Azar Faraday
No, I missed. I might have not said it correctly, but that's what I'm trying to say.
Marcus Black
Look at this right here. So this is the instructions for. For. For. For Kingdom households, right? Says, wives, submit yourselves to your own husband. Ask unto the Lord. Right? So women don't understand that this. This is the standard, right? If Jesus told you this, how. How would you respond to Him.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
Okay. That's the standard, right? And. And then it, it says, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands, whether we're right or wrong. So in your mind, you can be like man right here.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Marcus Black
You can't never jump out your body.
Paul Pierce
Right, right, that part.
Marcus Black
You can't never jump out your body and say these things. And men know.
Azar Faraday
I agree with that.
Marcus Black
Even with other men.
Azar Faraday
I agree with that.
Marcus Black
Men know there's certain things. Let me not even use myself.
Paul Pierce
Right.
Marcus Black
Because there's certain people. I use myself. I. It's certain stuff. I'm just not going. You ever see somebody say something on social media? You would never say this to me.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
You would never say these things to me in person.
Paul Pierce
Facts.
Marcus Black
You know what I'm saying? And how do you know? Because we walk around in public all the time and these things never happen. Right.
Azar Faraday
Facts.
Marcus Black
Men know how far they can go with the next man.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
When a man disrespects another man, he felt like he could get that off with no problem.
Azar Faraday
I agree.
Marcus Black
You know what I'm saying? So respect is such a very serious thing. And then it says, husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her and cleanse her by the washing of. The washing of the water with the word. So we supposed to. For us, we supposed to die for y'?
Azar Faraday
All?
Marcus Black
Yeah, in all areas. And y' all supposed to submit to us in all areas. No man wants to die for a woman who's not respectful or dismissive.
Azar Faraday
For sure.
Marcus Black
And no woman wants to submit to a man who's not going to die.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, no, I agree with that. I 100% agree with that. Well, thank you for doing that segment with us. If prescribed new sexual health patients get $15 off their first order of Sparks. On a recurring plan, connect with provider at Ro Co Tad to find out if prescription rose sparks is right for you.
Paul Pierce
When did it all click for you? Had a near death experience, is that correct?
Marcus Black
I've had lots of near death experiences.
Paul Pierce
Any in particular that just made. It just was like, man, something's gotta change.
Marcus Black
Not. I mean, for me, man, it wasn't any near death experience that made me wanna change. You know, there I have. We all have like an internal gps. I'm some bro. I'm somebody that always wanted to get it right.
Paul Pierce
Yeah.
Marcus Black
Like I'm not one of those people who just wanted to. To get it wrong. Right. Like, I got expelled from high school from a gun charge. Right. If I leave it there, it paints a certain picture.
Paul Pierce
Right.
Marcus Black
But then I would have to tell you that, well, I didn't have the gun. Another homie had the gun. Somebody actually, not one of our homies, somebody else had a gun. One of my homies swung on dude with the gun. Dude dropped the gun. And I just got the gun. Cause I felt like it was safest with me. Cause ain't nobody gonna die if I got it, I'm saying. And I got caught with it. See what I'm saying?
Paul Pierce
Yeah.
Marcus Black
So it's. Certain scenarios I was been in, I have been in that. It wasn't a reflection of my heart, though. It wasn't. I always been solid. I'm fearless, but it's. I've always desired to get it right. I've always been a smarter one. I've always been something. Been someone that God has used to lead. Even when I. Even when I was lost, I would. It was. I had more insight and more wisdom and more understanding than those who were around me. So I just wanted to get it right. And we're often just not given the time to get it right, bro. Like, if you think about it, on average. I read a study, it says, on average, the average man is not psychologically fully mature to like 43, 44 years old. And then women mature 10 years earlier. Right?
Azar Faraday
I believe that.
Marcus Black
But in our society, women are expecting men to have it all together at 25 years old. Sorry, shorty, I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to figure. I want to know, you know what I'm saying? But I would just say my wife, which is the greatest gift, somebody who gave me the space and the grace to grow. She allowed me to figure it out. Out. And she never. This why I give her all the kudos in the world, man. And a thousand salutes, bro. My wife treated me like a king the whole time. She never spoke down to me in a kind of sentimental. She never got to yelling, cussing me out, talking to me like I'm not nothing because of areas where I missed it, you know what I'm saying? She saw the king in me and she spoke to the king in me when I was acting like a fool. And it made me play up. I didn't want to disappoint that. I'm like, oh, that's how she Looks, let me sit up, let me figure this out. Let me be who she believes that I am. And that's why it's so important. Like women, there's only two entities in the Bible that are referred to as a helper. Okay. That's the Holy Spirit and a wife. And they're supposed to work in tandem. A woman who was not moving with the Holy Spirit really can't function at the capacity in which he's supposed to. Yeah, you're supposed to be able to look at a man and discern what God placed in him and know whether you have what it takes to help him with that or not. But also, you guys weren't taught either. Yeah, but then there's that.
Azar Faraday
And, and it's, it's a two way street. Because I think as a woman, if you do want to help, a man also has to allow you the space to do so. Because there can be people who are resistant to that, like vulnerability or being open or allowing that to happen. So it's too, it's a two way street. Like everyone has to be able to help, which I get most men, they don't want to be a burden. They don't want to feel like they're supposed to be strong. And I feel like black men have been taught to be that way in a lot of aspects. So it's hard for some men to be vulnerable and to allow someone to help them.
Marcus Black
Well, I think also women have to be taught how to help.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, I think that's true too.
Marcus Black
Because so many women, man, it's crazy because. Because you guys are helpers. Yeah, you guys mistake helping and fixing. You're not. Your job is not to fix them. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you. Man, let me pull out the scripture real quick. We go to. I'm gonna tell you the hack if it's applied properly, if we go to first Peter three, I ain't mean to turn this into a church.
Azar Faraday
Please leave this game right here. We both are God fearing people, so we. I love that.
Marcus Black
So this says, right? This is key, right? First Peter 3 starts at 1. It says, likewise wives, be subject to your own husbands. Watch this. So that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Right? It says, don't let your adorning be external, the braiding of your hair or the putting on a gold jewelry or clothing that you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of your heart. With the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is precious. That's what women don't know. This is the jackpot right here. Okay? God don't play about y'.
Azar Faraday
All.
Marcus Black
So when you play, how you supposed to play, right? Let me tell you something. When I'm wrong, and with all the wisdom I have, I'm still not above being wrong. I still be wrong, right? To this day, I still be wrong. I don't be wrong how I used to be wrong. But. But I still miss it. I can miss it with humans, right? But when I'm wrong, when I tell you my wife does not get out of character, she's not going to do no yelling. She's not going to try to check me. Because you can't check me. Yeah, you can't. You can't check me. You weren't created to check me. You were created to help me. But there is an entity that can check me. And the Holy Spirit functions as not just a helper, but a convict. A convictor. When you're. When you're wrong or when you're right, it's really the God. It's a teacher. It's everything, right? So my wife. When I'm wrong, my wife will go pray. She'll respect me. She's not gonna dishonor me. She's not gonna get loud. She gonna. She. Okay, babe, that's cool. She'll go pray. And I always know when she go pray, because I'll be out minding my business. And when I tell you, God get on my ass. So crazy. And I. I'll be back. I get back to the house some. It might take 30 minutes. It may take eight hours. By the time I get back to the. Listen, listen, sweetheart, I'm. I'm sorry. Yeah, I. I got. Because I can be checked. I just can't be checked by you. And your responsibility is not to check me. But because we're not being taught this, you're forfeiting your power. You think you can check a man whole time after the fall of man in the garden, when Adam listened to Eve, God don't want you to be able to check him. He wants you following him. He don't want him following you.
Azar Faraday
That's deep.
Marcus Black
So when you just know how to. Okay, no problem. Because he's not gonna get away with it. If you know your power, you just go meditate. Go to your prayer closet.
Azar Faraday
That's real.
Marcus Black
And you can talk to God. All right, Daddy. Nigga. On that right now. And when I tell you it happens, it happens quickly. But again, this hasn't been taught, but,
Azar Faraday
yeah, I think both people have to be tapped into in order for that to happen.
Marcus Black
That's not what scripture says. No, scripture says that if you're tapped
Azar Faraday
in, the other person can get tapped in.
Marcus Black
We have no choice in this space. It says even if a man is an unbeliever, even if he don't believe in God.
Paul Pierce
Yeah, that's what he just said.
Marcus Black
He will be won over. It's a complete hack. But women don't want to hear this because. Because women have not strengthened this muscle.
Azar Faraday
No, that's real, though. They don't need to hear this. Yeah, this is deep. I know. You also mentioned that you said that there's a certain part of a man that has to die in order for a woman to submit. Can you explain that right after that?
Marcus Black
Huh? Yeah, let's get to the. Okay, I'm with you. So
Azar Faraday
that was genuinely my next question.
Marcus Black
We gonna get back to these?
Azar Faraday
No, no, I think what you're saying is real. I think women need to hear that. Even myself. Like, I can grow and learn from that. Really, genuinely. No, but I'm. I'm being honest. I think that you taught me something, even sitting here, like. And I feel like, as women, we need to be open to learning things, because there's a lot that I don't know, like being in a relationship, and I wasn't taught certain things, and I read the Bible and. And I do pray every day, but in moments where you could be frustrated or you could feel like things aren't going your way, instead of trying to constantly have a conversation and not get anywhere, you can just pray. And that's something that I have to work on as a woman. I could admit that, and I could say that all day. And I feel like, you know, I haven't always been that way. So that's something that I can learn from for sure. Yeah, 100%.
Marcus Black
So as far as men dying to themselves. Right. So when we go back to scripture, this is all. And I'm citing these scriptures because I'm hoping somebody, when people watch this back, open up your scriptures and go see it. Yeah, I don't care. Listen, I don't care what God. You don't. If you don't believe in Jesus, you have to still understand this book is just the coldest book of wisdom. Don't even. Like, if you don't. You don't got to believe what I believe. It's just Cold. And I've read all the book. I read the Quran, I read the Torah of the Tanakh, I be in them. It's so cold, it's freak out. Like when and when you go back and you read certain books like the Way of the Superior man, or you read certain books like it's a major. But all books of wisdom, they all plagia. It's all plagiarism. They all take it directly from the book, right? And they just don't. They're just. Because they're not making religious books, they're not citing scripture like I got this from here, but they're using the principles. So in Ephesians 5, right? Men love the scripture where men, where God says to that woman, have to submit. Yeah, we love that, go crazy about that. You need to submit, right? But the scripture, the verse right before that tells us, it teaches mutual submission. It says, submit yourself one unto another out of reverence for God, right? So what I learned is when I submit and we submit in different ways. And in the same scripture, it tells you how to submit. But a man has to submit himself to his wife's needs, to his woman's needs, right? So I have to die to myself so that she can have whatever it is that she needs, whether that's time, whether that's communication, whether that's what. Whatever. Whatever she need. I have to. I have to. I have to die to myself so she can have that. But then, man, what most men don't understand because we haven't applied it. Oh, man. A woman would do anything for a sacrificial man. She'll do anything for you. If you want your true helpmate, you want your true partner, you think, my wife ain't going for this? She ain't going for that, man. Listen, let her believe that you'll die to yourself, fully for you. I mean, for her.
Paul Pierce
For her. Yeah.
Marcus Black
And watch her tap out and be like, look, it's whatever about you, shorty, it's however you want it to go. You know what I'm saying? But we have to be willing to allow our ego to die, our pride to die, our fleshly desires to die. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know what's crazy, bro? You know how many women, and I'm not endorsing this for the record, but you know how many women actually wouldn't be completely opposed to the idea of you with another woman? If she knows you'll die for her, you'll die to everything for her. You'd be surprised you'd be surprised what your woman would go for. Once she knows that ain't nothing above her but God. You'd be surprised.
Paul Pierce
Well, that's not surprising to me because like, I know a lot of men who've been in relationships who have cheated, but they, women know that, that's like, that like sex is one form of cheating, right? There's so many different forms of cheating. I look at it as like, that's through the flesh. That's through like, just like me. As men, we just by nature are attracted to women and we just want the bodily fluids and just the bodily touch from another woman. Yeah, we need it. And women are attractive. Women are like Eve, they just constantly. They give us that scent to where we smell it. Like a predator, like serious. It's like they have a scent. You smell it, you go that direction like food. But then when you've shown your woman that you like, damn, he's done all this, I know for sure he'll die for me. That's why they didn't leave the first time, I'm telling you. Cause you like, I know men that shown her. I've shown it in past relationship. Like, I know I'll die for this lady or something like that. That or you know, you like. Because you sacrifice though, man, I take a bullet.
Marcus Black
Yeah, but that's not, that's not the devil you're talking about.
Paul Pierce
I'm saying I didn't sacrifice this. It's. It's about sacrifice. But then I had to learn and I'm still learning about relationships. You know, I've been married before. I was married for like 12 years. I've been in long term relationships, like a few. But like now I'm starting to get it now though. It took like I'm 48. I'm like learning now that what's different, that I can do different. Like as far as like the communication, the sacrifice, letting her understand I'm getting better. You know, because men, as men, we don't talk.
Marcus Black
Yeah.
Paul Pierce
We don't express our feelings. Like you said at the beginning, we hold stuff in and, you know, we bear the burden, the weight of the world and don't give it to her when we should sometimes, like let her help carry some little weight and vice versa. And it's just the communication part is, I think that's the most important part in helping them understand that I'm here, that I can sacrifice for you, that I know that you know from my communication and being around you, that I'll die for you. I Don't know what more I think. I don't know what more you can give to show that unless you actually step in front of a bullet. Like, how do you show that? How do you show. Show you can that.
Azar Faraday
I think that.
Paul Pierce
Let her believe that you'll do anything.
Azar Faraday
I think this too. I think what you guys are saying is real about every. I respect both of what you're saying. I think a part of it, though, too, is like, you're saying, oh, a woman being okay with you being with another woman and all of this. I think a big part of that sacrifice is showing us that you have the discipline enough to not do that 100%. That is a. That's a part of it. It's like, yes, men are hunters by nature. They want to conquer women. Women are beautiful. I admire women, body, everything. Like, ooh, she looks good. I know when a woman looks good, and I know that the temptation for a man is very strong. Like, as a woman, I could go out every day and not see one man where I'm like, ooh, he just turned me. I wanna like. But men have. Their sexual desire is extremely strong. So showing me that you have the discipline to not act on your sexual desires is a huge part for a woman to understand. Like, oh, you really will go hard for me. You will let a part die in yourself for me. Because I know how big of a part that is for most men, that a man who can sacrifice and be disciplined in his sexual desires and habits is a very powerful man, period, point blank. Because men. Men are led by sex and lust and being able to put that aside and being like, this is my woman. I'm not going to act on those things no matter what the circumstances are. If we're going through a hard time, if we're not like, all those things is what starts to show a woman, like, okay, he actually loves me, or he's actually disciplined in that area, which means he can be disciplined and other aspects of our life. And I think that's a big part for women because, like you said, a lot of reasons why relationships end is because neglect. Because infidelity.
Paul Pierce
That's cheating. Neglect is cheating.
Azar Faraday
Exactly. He said that actually. So that was something I was gonna say because he just said, neglect is cheating.
Paul Pierce
Emotional discomfort is cheating. Like, if you not, like, I come home, I ain't seen you in a week, and you ain't even, like, at the door or just, like, acknowledging me. Even hear like, that's like, like, what the. What the hell is that? Yeah, like, what is that.
Marcus Black
But it's like, so. But cheating has to be stamped though, right? It has to be. We have to mark this thing off. Right?
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
In order for us to say something, cheating is cheating, we have to first come to an agreement. Right. Like, for example, let's say. Let's say my girl don't like Terms of Endearment, you know what I'm saying? With other women, like, sweetheart, honey, love, baby.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
So. But. And let's say she expresses to me that I don't want you to do that. Right. But let's say I never tell her what. I mean. I'm. That's how I talk.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
So if I continue to do it, I'm not cheating. I'm articulated to you that. That's.
Azar Faraday
It's a natural reflex sometimes, too, for people to just be like, all right, baby. Yeah, I think that's a natural reflex.
Marcus Black
But. But it doesn't matter if it's a natural reflex.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
If I say, I'm not going to do it. Right.
Azar Faraday
Okay.
Marcus Black
So if she says, I'm not okay with you communicating like this, and I say, okay, I won't do it now, when I do it, I just cheated,
Paul Pierce
you cross the line.
Marcus Black
But if I never agreed to it.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
Then it's not cheating. Right. So any of these things, I wouldn't care if she said, we binge watching this Netflix show and you agree we gonna watch it together. You know, people really be mad about that.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
Without me.
Paul Pierce
For real.
Marcus Black
We've only watching this together.
Paul Pierce
No, for real.
Azar Faraday
That's a real thing.
Marcus Black
You feel played with.
Azar Faraday
That's a real thing.
Paul Pierce
100%.
Marcus Black
You feel played with. So wherever there's an agreement, and I think a lot of times people get into these relationships and they're never. They're not articulating what their issues. This is not a deal breaker. But this doesn't work for me. Can you not do this? And then the person has to sign off on that and be like, okay, I'll die to that for you. You know what I'm saying? It comes down to that. Like, if you stink at communication, like, do you. Do y' all fast?
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
What's the long. What's the longest you ever fasted?
Azar Faraday
I've only done three days.
Paul Pierce
I'm like, fasting right now. I don't eat until after three. I didn't eat till three yesterday. I do it once a week usually.
Marcus Black
Okay.
Azar Faraday
But I've only done three full days of fasting. I have not got past three days. If I'm being honest. But I do. Yeah, it's tough.
Marcus Black
It's tough.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
That's called dying to self.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
Right. You don't have to have a skill in order. Like, you don't have to have a skill too fast. You have to have a desire too fast.
Azar Faraday
Yes.
Marcus Black
Right. So that's what dying to yourself looks like. Right. You don't have to know how to do it. You just have to be like, okay, listen, I'm just gonna. I'm gonna do this for you. Whether it's communication, whether it's dying to myself physically or my fleshly desires for other. Whatever it is, I don't know how I'm gonna do this, but I'm. Damn it, I'm gonna do it for you. Cause you mean that much to me. Securing you make it means that much to me. Being locked in, you feeling like. You feeling safe with me. Yeah, it means that much to me that I let this die. And you know that this is difficult for me. But I'm. I'm. I'm a die to that, though.
Azar Faraday
No, I love that. That's real. Yeah, that's real. This is the more or less segment brought to you by Prize Picks where you can win real cash by picking just more or less on your favorite players. Use code TAD and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. Okay, so I'm going to ask you some more or less questions and you can answer. Is it more or less of a red flag if someone says they never argue in relationships?
Marcus Black
Less.
Azar Faraday
Okay. Is it more or less attractive long term, A person. Sorry, let me. I have to start over. More or less likely to last. A relationship with strong chemistry but weak friendship. Or strong friendship but average chemistry.
Marcus Black
Strong friendship advocate chemistry for sure. Easy.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, I could believe that too. You think a friendship is the foundation of a relationship?
Marcus Black
100%. I think as long as God is at the foundation and you have a friendship, that's what protects everything else. My wife's my best friend.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, that's important. A more or less a problem. A partner who's super flirty, like when you're out and about.
Paul Pierce
What's the partner, though? Is it a date?
Azar Faraday
No, no. We're talking about, like, your girlfriend, your partner. You're in a relationship, A committed relationship. Someone who's outside flirting for attention, or someone who's, like, super isolated. They, like, can't go out and talk to people. You can't, like, bring them around people and they'll just be quiet. Which one's worse? Oh, the flirting man.
Marcus Black
Friendly ass girl.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, exactly. I agree with that.
Marcus Black
Ain't stand no friendly ass girl. My girl mean as hell.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
She's polite, right? She's very polite. She's nice.
Azar Faraday
Yeah. I mean to.
Marcus Black
Well, she's kind.
Azar Faraday
Kind, but like not.
Marcus Black
She's not a nice girl.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, exactly. You could be kind enough, not be nice.
Marcus Black
No.
Azar Faraday
Because the man will take that unless you know it.
Marcus Black
And she's the sweetest girl on the face of the earth.
Azar Faraday
Exactly. Yeah.
Marcus Black
She's not friendly.
Azar Faraday
More or less risky moving in too fast or waiting too long.
Marcus Black
Moving in too fast, for sure.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that. More or less dangerous to a relationship when a partner has lots of opposite sex friends versus not a lot of friends at all.
Marcus Black
Say it one more time.
Azar Faraday
So which one's worse? Your partner having opposite sex friends, Like a bunch of male friends basically, or having only a few friends?
Marcus Black
I think both of them are suspicious. Like why you don't have no friends? Like don't nobody like you. Yeah, like nobody like you.
Azar Faraday
I mean, she has like a few solid friends.
Marcus Black
Oh, long term.
Azar Faraday
Like they. Oh, they've been their friends for a long time. Yeah. I think that matters.
Marcus Black
I judge people by that if they
Azar Faraday
have long term friends.
Marcus Black
Like if you're 40 years old and you don't have one friend for 20 years.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
Like you don't got nobody at least 15.
Azar Faraday
15 years. Yeah.
Marcus Black
Come on. That mean don't nobody rock with you.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, I have like four friends, but they all been my friends for 20 years.
Marcus Black
Yeah. So that mean you're solid in character. That means you're consistent.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
You're a good. People rock with you. I know people who don't have no. Ain't really got no long term friends.
Paul Pierce
It's more girls. Girls change over friends life.
Marcus Black
Yeah, man.
Paul Pierce
Week to week, I try.
Azar Faraday
So for me, it's like I've tried to acquire new, new fresh friends and it's just always something weird with that. So, like I have my solid four friends for 15, 20 years and these are just who I rock with. And it is what it is, you know, Like I don't. I don't be.
Marcus Black
It points to loyalty. Like it's a. Yeah, you get points for that to me. You know what I mean?
Azar Faraday
Yeah. Yeah.
Marcus Black
My wife has so many. Me and Brooke been. I've been here 11 years. There's been people who've been in her life double the time I've been around.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
You know what I'm saying? Y' all not tired of her yet? She must, she must be a dude. She's a great person though.
Azar Faraday
And my friends love me down, honey. So. Yeah, I think that is a judgment of character too. If you've been. That's a good way to look at it.
Marcus Black
And my wife has guy friends that have been around longer than me.
Azar Faraday
So are you do believe that men and women can have opposite sex friends?
Marcus Black
Yeah, it just comes down to intentionality. If you like every man doesn't have the capacity. Women have more capacity than men do. You know what I'm saying? Most women feel like everybody that nigga not your friend. You know what I'm saying? But certain men have the capacity. I'm somebody who has the capacity.
Paul Pierce
I believe that too. As a man. I think that a man. I don't know. I don't know.
Marcus Black
I got some homegirls that's cold, not straight up. And I ain't never touched them and I find them attractive. I'm just not like, oh, let me say this. I recognize they're attractive, but I don't allow my. I'm not, I'm not attracted to them because I want to allow myself. I said, here's the thing though. All my homegirls are extremely valuable because if you don't add no other value to my life, the only value is that ass.
Azar Faraday
Right.
Marcus Black
So and, and I. And you can't offer me that, you know what I'm saying? I'm married, you know what I'm saying? So you gotta get on. But my wife has male friends. My wife has for sure. Like two solid ones though. They solid, thorough. I like, I stamp them niggas, but
Azar Faraday
you know them and y' all all kick it.
Marcus Black
Yeah, but it's all about boundaries though, you know what I'm saying? You have to say if you her friend, be her friend. Gang.
Azar Faraday
But that's the problem. So for me, the reason I'm a little scarred is cause every male friend I have, even, even if they are talking to me about my relationship or I'm like talking to them about giving them advice about they're in a full blown relationship. There's always been a moment where they're like, man, you know that moment.
Marcus Black
Pretender N man, these niggas pretender boy.
Azar Faraday
And I could never talk to you again after that. Cause now, nah, I'm cool. So it's just like that's my. Been my experience.
Marcus Black
But don't but for your relationship. Cut them off. But most niggas, most men feel it even if they don't express it.
Azar Faraday
My point is you just respect the
Marcus Black
ones who value the relationship enough to not express it.
Azar Faraday
And this is my point on why I feel like, nah, like, I'm cool. I'm cool. Like, I'm cool on that. But thank you to our good friends at Prize Fix America's. Nah. Thank you to our good friends at Prize Picks, America's number one sport sports pick app. Use code TAD to get 50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5.
Marcus Black
Shout out prize Picks, man. You know what I'm saying? Y' all holla at me for my show, too.
Azar Faraday
Right, Right, right, Exactly. Well, thank you so much, Marcus, for coming. We really do appreciate your insight. I feel like I've learned a lot from this conversation and things that I can apply in my relationships and stuff like that. And I really appreciate that and admire what you're doing. If you want to say where they can follow you, we'll put it all in the description. All his stuff, his book, his Instagram. But if you want to tell the people where you're at.
Marcus Black
I love what you guys are doing here, and I appreciate you guys opening up your platform and let me come down here and bounce ideas. This was great. I enjoyed it. You know what I'm saying? My book, Bulletproof Love. I can't stress that enough. You know what I mean? If you're interested in. If you want to learn how to heal from childhood trauma and break generational curses and be in a healthy, harmonious relationships and learn my. A step system. It's all in there. And it's bulletproof. Like, it's crazy because there's actually just like driving a car, right? Just like doing nails or doing hair or plumbing. There's actually a route to do it. We just don't haven't. We just haven't been taught.
Azar Faraday
Yeah.
Marcus Black
And in my book, I teach you how to do it. You know what I mean? If you want to know what's all
Azar Faraday
there, I'm gonna definitely be picking up that.
Paul Pierce
The podcast.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, yeah.
Marcus Black
Two sides of the Game. Yes, sir. Every Tuesday, two o', clock, Two sides of the Game. Shout out my brother.
Azar Faraday
Yeah, we're gonna again add all of that in the description, so it's easy for you guys to find. But thank you again, Marcus. Thank you, everybody, for watching. Make sure you subscribe.
Marcus Black
I'm gonna need y' all on my show, too, of course. But I'll pull up on y', all, though. I'm not gonna make you all go to Vegas, though. I'll come to LA.
Azar Faraday
Well, we're definitely always down.
Marcus Black
I appreciate it.
Azar Faraday
100. Thank you guys for the 100,000 followers. We're very new still, and you guys have been really supporting us in our journey, and we really rock with y' all for that.
Paul Pierce
So, yeah, make sure you continue to, like, subscribe. Coming up with new guests every, every week. So, man, keep following us, keep joining us week in and week out as we give you new content. We appreciate, appreciate our fans.
Azar Faraday
We love y'.
Marcus Black
All.
Azar Faraday
Thank you again.
Paul Pierce
This is the taking over the game. All right, everybody. Welcome to Truth After Dark.
Azar Faraday
Do you think that men or women are more toxic? This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.
Podcast by Shay Shay Media & Playmaker. Episode aired April 7, 2026. Hosted by Shannon Sharpe, featuring Marcus Black, Azar Faraday, and Paul Pierce.
This introspective and raw episode features author and relationship coach Marcus Black. Drawing from personal experience, Marcus discusses the realities of marriage, infidelity, healing generational trauma, and the life-changing wisdom found in scripture. The conversation, marked by vulnerability and practical advice, also features lively input from co-host Azar Faraday and NBA star Paul Pierce. The trio unpacks what it truly takes to build lasting, meaningful relationships—especially within the Black community.
[03:00–10:00]
Quote:
"Marriage only works one way. Marriage only works in first place, it doesn’t work in second place. It has to go above everything—above your parents, children, hobbies, homeboys..." —Marcus Black [04:32]
[05:35–12:28]
Quote:
"No one’s teaching us how to be married. No one’s teaching men how to be husband. No one’s teaching women how to be wives. We’re not taught how to cover, how to ban our home. ...You just pay your little $250 and you are now clear to ruin your life." —Marcus Black [07:06]
[12:28–21:18]
Quotes:
"You can tell me you love me and I can choose to believe it, but until I wronged you...real love can only be demonstrated after an offense." —Marcus Black [12:24]
"If the person who made the offense is not bothered by the offense, then we have a larger issue, right?" —Marcus Black [18:45]
[21:18–25:44]
Quote:
"Suppression is not deliverance." —Marcus Black [21:58]
[26:10–29:44]
Quote:
"Any woman who’s trying to pull you away from what God calls you to do is a distraction, man. She’s an op, man." —Marcus Black [28:24]
[42:18–50:33]
Quote:
"No man wants to die for a woman who’s not respectful or dismissive. And no woman wants to submit to a man who’s not gonna die." —Marcus Black [50:33]
[55:26–59:48]
Notable Reflection:
"If you want your true helpmate, you want your true partner...let her believe that you’ll die to yourself, fully for her…and watch her tap out and be like, look, it’s whatever about you, shorty, it’s however you want it to go. But we have to be willing to allow our ego to die, our pride to die, our fleshly desires to die." —Marcus Black [63:03]
[39:45–41:29]
Quote:
"When I write out what I say, what I, how I feel, I look at it and I’ll be like, ah, she gonna take this like that. This is crazy. Let me delete this." —Marcus Black [40:05]
[72:12–72:27]
Quote:
"As long as God is at the foundation and you have a friendship, that’s what protects everything else. My wife’s my best friend." —Marcus Black [72:20]
[74:49–77:43]
Quote:
"All my homegirls are extremely valuable because if you don’t add no other value to my life, the only value is that ass...and you can’t offer me that, I’m married, you know what I’m saying? So you gotta get on." —Marcus Black [76:16]
This episode stands out for its depth, candor, and actionable insights. Marcus Black’s life story, openness about his flaws, and practical wisdom—anchored in scripture and lived experience—make for a masterclass on what it takes to build, survive, and thrive in committed relationships.