Natalie Nunn’s Value Of A Baddie, Kevin Gates Sucking Toes, & The Power Of Good Looks!

Summary

Club Shay Shay – Natalie Nunn’s Value Of A Baddie, Kevin Gates Sucking Toes, & The Power Of Good Looks!

Podcast: Club Shay Shay
Host: Shannon Sharpe
Episode Date: January 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and unfiltered episode, Shannon Sharpe engages with guests in a wide-ranging discussion touching on dating expectations, celebrity relationship culture, intimacy taboos, and shifting social dynamics around gender, beauty, and value. The conversation dives into viral moments featuring Natalie Nunn, Cam Newton, and Kevin Gates—and uses these pop culture flashpoints to unpack deeper realities and conflicting opinions about modern relationships, fame, and the value systems of new generations. Both lighthearted and incisive, the episode blends humor with sharp social commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kevin Gates’ Romance Standards – Sucking Toes & ‘Real Love’

• Viral Claims: The hosts debate rapper Kevin Gates’ assertion that “if you not rubbing her feet and eating that booty, then you don’t love her” ([05:01–06:25]).

  • Memorable Quote:
    • “If you not doing that, he doesn’t love you. And he’s a little boy.” (A – [06:13])
  • The hosts react with playful skepticism and note that cultural norms are shifting about what’s expected in relationships.

• Accountability & Cheating:

  • Gates claims if his queen cheats, it’s his fault for not satisfying her, but the panel pushes back:
    • Quote:
      • “People cheat cause they wanna cheat. It ain’t cause of somebody else…The temptations is real, though.” (C – [07:35])
  • There’s consensus that "cheating" is a personal choice, not solely the partner’s responsibility due to a supposed lack.

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2. The Value of a ‘Baddie’ – Natalie Nunn & Modern Relationship Value

• What Does a ‘Baddie’ Bring to the Table?

  • The podcast analyzes Natalie Nunn's viral “baddie” interview with Cam Newton ([15:10–21:41]).
  • Nunn’s definition: A “baddie” is “a boss,” popular, and brings followers and clout to a relationship—even if the man makes more money.

• Generational Differences:

  • The hosts weigh in:
    • “When you start looking at this new generation, the values are really way different.” (C – [20:20])
    • They note that older values (stability, support) now coexist with clout, fame, and popularity as valid currencies in relationships.
    • Some pushback: many listeners find “followers” and popularity less substantive than other forms of “value.”

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3. Do Good Looks = More Respect or Opportunity? (Carlos Miller’s Take)

• Does Having an Attractive Woman Bring a Man More Respect?
  • The topic, sparked by a Carlos Miller comment, produces nuanced opinions ([09:09–13:58]):
    • Some believe men with conventionally attractive partners are ascribed higher status, while others argue it generates hate, not respect.
    • Quote:
      • “They think it’s the money…But that is equated with respect, because they think it’s something you have clearly to get this woman.” (A – [10:45–10:49])
    • The consensus: while beauty may attract initial curiosity, true respect is more nuanced and situational.

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4. Testing Loyalty & Relationship Strength—Cam Newton’s Philosophy

• Is ‘Testing’ or Inducing Drama Necessary?
  • Cam Newton describes wanting to know if a woman is with him for better or worse, not just during good times ([21:51–24:14]).
  • The cohosts dispute the need to “inflict trauma” or engineer tests to judge loyalty.
    • Quote:
      • “Trauma builds character…but that’s not your job.” (C & A – [24:32])
  • They argue life itself will provide challenges, and true character emerges naturally during adversity.

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5. Do Women ‘Multiply’ What Men Give? JLo’s Philosophy Dissected

• The group debates Jennifer Lopez’s saying: “Women multiply whatever you give them”—from groceries (meals), houses (homes), and more ([28:02–29:54]).
  • Disagreement arises:
    • “Women do not multiply things. They subtract things.” (C – [28:37])
    • Sharpe and others suggest the best relationships see mutual growth, not just one-sided receiving or taking.
  • Real-life divorce and money examples, like Jeff Bezos, are cited to question whether multiplication is always the case.

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6. Sex, Emotional Labor, and the Ghana Law

• Ghana’s Law on Withholding Sex as Emotional Abuse

  • The hosts react in disbelief and humor ([29:54–32:34]).
  • The point is used to surface broader gendered frustrations about work, sacrifice, and perceived imbalances in relationship labor.

• Men Sacrificing More?

  • “Men do a lot of things they’re not in the mood for all the time” (A – [31:39]), expressing the idea men’s sacrifices should also be recognized.

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7. Relationship Preferences—A Game of Choices

• In a lightning round ([33:06–43:57]), the hosts pick between hypothetical relationship qualities:

  • Honesty vs. Loving Avoidance
  • Money/Success vs. Time/Emotion
  • Dominant/Decisive vs. Emotional/Supportive
  • Growth/Challenge vs. Comfort/Support
  • Independence vs. Attachment

• Memorable Quotes:

  • “I need that care package…you’re gonna have my gas up when my gas is low.” (C – [36:29])
  • “I can teach you independence…You got more room to grow.” (C – [42:13])

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8. Viral List – Places Women Refuse to Go on First Dates

• The hosts have fun with the now-viral list that bans restaurants (Cheesecake Factory, Olive Garden), coffee dates, and even church and bowling as acceptable first dates ([45:19–49:07]).
  • Dispute over which demographics created the list; is it “cap”?
    • “This can’t be black people. Cause all the black girls want to go to all these places.” (C – [47:16])
  • A acknowledges she avoids certain places due to personal taste or safety concerns.

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9. Dating Over 40 & Red Flags

• Claudia Jordan’s View:
  • The dating pool thins out for women in their 40s—“There will be a lot of supply on the shelf, and there isn’t.” (A citing C. Jordan – [50:13–51:54])
  • Debate about whether being a single, childless man or woman in middle age is a red flag ([52:09–55:15]).
  • It’s more about life circumstance and intent than a universal warning sign.

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10. Fan Questions & “The Truth After Dark Hotline”

• The panel fields listener problems, offering tough love and blunt advice ([62:54–68:03]):
  • Should I tell my boyfriend I hooked up with someone he knows before we met?
    • “Shut the fuck up, girl. Move on.” (C – [64:00])
  • Partner always checks my phone—am I wrong to be worried?
    • “Red flag. You need to leave her.” (C – [65:30])
  • Boyfriend pays bills, but I do all the emotional work—how to address it?
    • “Embrace and be a star in your role…the rest will fall into place.” (C – [67:22])
  • (More questions on privacy, public acknowledgment, and emotional labor are discussed.)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “If you not rubbing her feet and eating that booty, then you don’t love her.” – Kevin Gates (as cited by A, [05:01])
• “People cheat cause they wanna cheat. The temptations is real, though.” – C, [07:35]
• “A beautiful woman being with that man gets more respect than that man gets respect…” – C, [13:20]
• “Popularity and followers is like the lowest thing on the list.” – A, [17:47]
• “But, like, when my mom passed, I flew to Australia…People handle trauma differently.” – C, [26:53]
• “You could always tell in a relationship…not always…all the guys wear the boxers. Some guys wear the lingerie.” – C, [40:01]
• “Trauma builds character—but that’s not your job.” – A & C, [24:32–24:37]
• “This picture right here look crazy…that was crazy…” – C joking with A about her past weight loss journey, [56:23–57:03]
• “Men do a lot of things they’re not in the mood for all the time.” – A, [31:39]

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Segment Timestamps

• Kevin Gates/Intimacy & Relationship Duties: [05:01–07:04]
• Cheating Responsibility: [07:04–08:20]
• Good Looks = Respect in Relationships?: [09:09–13:58]
• Definition & Value of a ‘Baddie’: [15:10–21:41]
• Testing Loyalty & Hardship in Relationships: [21:51–27:59]
• Women Multiply What Men Give (JLo Quote): [28:02–29:54]
• Withholding Sex & Gendered Emotional Labor: [29:54–32:37]
• Relationship Preferences Game: [33:06–43:57]
• First Date Places List: [45:19–49:07]
• Dating Over 40 & Red Flags: [50:13–55:15]
• Q&A Hotline: [62:54–68:03]

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Tone and Style

The conversation throughout is candid, playful, and occasionally irreverent. While humor is prevalent, the hosts and guests often drop hard truths (“the truth after dark”) about dating, value, and self-worth. The tone swings between teasing, banter, and moments of honest vulnerability—retaining the energetic style that Club Shay Shay is known for.

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This summary provides a comprehensive glance at all significant themes, quotes, and debates from the episode, helping listeners quickly grasp the sharp wit and contemporary social analysis at its core.

Transcript

[A]

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.

[B]

This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the mailroom podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name.

[C]

Part of the way through the valley.

[A]

Of despair is realizing this has happened.

[C]

And you have to make a choice.

[A]

Whether you're going to stay in it or move forward.

[B]

Our two part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.

[A]

A woman will start to look at the man and be like, he could be no one famous or nothing. Like, I've been in a relationship with someone. And then a woman will start being like, well, what is he doing to her? He either putting it down crazy.

[C]

Putting it down crazy, right?

[A]

Or he's breaking her off crazy. And either one of those things I'm trying to find out.

[C]

He was just with him for the cheese.

[A]

No, I liked him. I wasn't with him for cheese. I liked him. He's not ugly. He wasn't ugly, but he was shorter than me, so every.

[C]

Like, he was for the cheeks.

[A]

No, he wasn't shorter than me.

[C]

My thing is to really figure out who a girl really is. You gotta be a little edgy sometime with things.

[A]

What is a little edgy? J. Lo said that women multiply whatever you give them. So, like, she's basically saying, like, women are false.

[C]

False. If I give her $100, she gonna multiply that.

[A]

I see that. You got your toes in.

[C]

Toes is in.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay.

[C]

Many people was in the comments, like, I suck on those. I was like, let me put them up. Let me put them up.

[A]

Crying they was talking about they would suck on them.

[C]

Yeah. I was like, let me put these up. This is to take taking over the game. All right, everybody, welcome to Truth After Dark.

[A]

Do you think that men or women are more toxic?

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[C]

That's right.

[A]

Hello beautiful people. Welcome to another episode, the second episode of the new year of the Truth after dark with myself, Azar Faraday, your.

[C]

Boy, Paul Pierce, aka the Truth, aka 611 in the league today, aka what you wanna do, period.

[A]

Okay. I love that. How are you feeling this evening?

[C]

2026.

[A]

I see that you got your toes in.

[C]

Toes is in.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay.

[C]

They was many people was in the comments like I suck on those. I was like, let me put them up. Let me put them up right?

[A]

They was talking about they would suck on them toes.

[C]

I was like, let me put these.

[A]

Actually we gonna get right into this. Kevin Gates, he actually has a girl or like a wife, I don't know. He calls her a wife. And he said that if you are not sucking your girl's toes, honey, if you not rubbing her feet and eating that booty, then you don't love her. And you.

[C]

What you mean booty?

[A]

Yeah, he said like the.

[C]

The actual booty.

[A]

Booty.

[C]

Yeah, he said, okay, run down the lineup. He said you have to do if this is not your. This is your girl.

[A]

He said. And while he's doing it he's rubbing his girl's feet and licking her toes while he's saying this on the Instagram.

[C]

How long y' all been together?

[A]

Well, I don't know how long they've been together.

[C]

No, that's real, though. On the real. When I think about it, like, yeah, I think that go both ways. I'm probably like, if that's your one, you gonna do it as a man and a female.

[A]

I think as a female, you gonna be, what, sucking the toes and eating like all that.

[C]

The booty? Yeah, that's my girl. Yeah, I gotta go there, I guess. Wait a minute.

[A]

This is crazy.

[C]

I'm trying to think.

[A]

This is wild. He said that if he not doing that, he doesn't love you. And he's a little boy. He said his post gym male. His post gym meal is getting that protein and eating that booty, period.

[C]

He throw peanut butter on it. He put that protein, peanut butter on that thing.

[A]

He put that peanut butter. He's talking that thing.

[C]

Kevin Gates, I ain't mad at you, man. Each and all right? You know, if that's. But if they like, she might like that. So she might be like, yeah, I need that period.

[A]

And he said this too, on the thing. He said, clock it. Yeah.

[C]

That's what's gonna make your girl happy. Because if you with somebody and you not willing to do something that your girl like, you don't really like her, period, period.

[A]

He also said that if his queen cheats on him, it's his fault because he wasn't doing what he needed to do to keep her happy, fed and right. And he said a lot of men are not on that level.

[C]

I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that. If she cheat on me, that's not my fault. Because we gonna have some discussions and if you come back to me and say I cheat, like, what? So if I'm gone for two weeks and you cheat on me, that's my fault because I had. Cause I had some work. Cause I had to go make this cheese.

[A]

What kind of work? Did you have some cheese?

[C]

I had to go get this bread. So that's my fault that I went and got the bread. Cause I'm spending the bread on you. So how is that my fault?

[A]

I don't even think he meant it like that. I just think he cheated. No, no, no.

[C]

But if it's. I'm not agreeing on that. People cheat cause they wanna cheat. It ain't cause of somebody else. That's just an excuse. People cheat Cause they wanna cheat. It's like, damn, I'm curious. Damn, let me see what's going on. Like, damn. You know, the temptations is real, though. We got more temptations today than ever. Women and people are more beautiful now than ever. So that's on you. It ain't. You can't blame that on. I'm not putting that on me. If my significant other cheats, that's not my fault. We should have already broke up. If you feel that way, come tell me. Like, you know, I ain't really feeling this. You know, it's a dark cloud in the air amongst us.

[A]

Not the dark cloud.

[C]

You know, like the rain and the storm. You, like, you gotta understand relationships. You gotta go through rain and storm. You can't first sign a fog. You can't be all creeping. Nah, I ain't going with that one. Kev, come on. I know you. You got your philosophy, though, and you got your program and how you activate, maneuver and do all your system. But I'm not rolling with that one. Because it's dark times in every relationship. If you ask all the OGs who've been with somebody 20 plus years, it's gonna be some. It's gonna be some ups and downs, and it might be some cheating and all of that, but it ain't. It ain't, it ain't. I'm never putting that on me. You know, that's all an action. That's a choice.

[A]

Okay, so Carlos Miller, he recently said.

[C]

That our boy Carlos. We gotta get Carlos back on, right?

[A]

I love Carlos down. No, he's cracking. For sure. He said that you love him down. I mean, I'm saying, like, he's cool. Not in that way, like, as what?

[C]

And I'm just saying.

[A]

No, Carlos, no. Like, that's just my. Like, he was great on the episode. We did numbers with him. Like, he said some real gems and some real stuff, like. And he always spits them jams low key. But he said that you get treated with more respect and more opportunities when your lady is attractive, your woman is a reflection of you.

[C]

All right, Carlos, that is not true. You get more respect.

[A]

No more job opportunities. More like, they're saying, like, when your woman walks in and she's looking good, like, men look like, okay, like, you got the job.

[C]

No, that's not.

[A]

Not even. Just, you got the job. He's saying, like, you just get more respected, period.

[C]

Like, let me see you get more respected if you're a woman looking good. You know what? When I think about it, to A certain degree you get more hate, I'll tell you that. Because a lot of times you look at a girl and you look at a guy and you look at him like that don't match up. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you see some of these cats out there, like how he get her? And that's just. And then they be like, that's just the cheese.

[A]

They think it's the money.

[C]

They think it's the money. But you know, they think it's like.

[A]

But that's the thing that is equated with respect because they think it's something you have clearly to get this woman. And a lot of the times it's just that the woman is delusional because he don't even have nothing for real, but a lot like a man.

[C]

Hold on, let me think about that. That's a good one, Carla. Let me see. Do you get respect based on your woman's look? Man, I don't know if I'm rocking with that. Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Because if my woman, look, come in here and she got banging cakes and body looking, right? And she just kind of mid, but she got a nice suit on and she demand respect and she's a powerful voice and you don't know what's up. And that could be a man. You don't know. She might be the CEO at Bank of Inglewood or something, you know, like you don't know. Like it don't matter. I can't go off your look. Cause a man is gonna go with this woman and hold her hand. No matter if this my woman, I don't care what she look like. This my woman.

[A]

But we're not talking about you and how you feel. We're talking about how the others perceive it. If a man comes in with a 500 pound woman or a woman that looks dog, people are gonna be like, he can't. What is that? Like, they're not gonna put you on a pedestal because of that. But if you come in with a woman that's looking good, smelling good, catching a vibe, they're gonna be like, oh, shoot, he really has a woman and this is his girl and she's here and she's like respecting him and like.

[C]

Okay, so let's say it's not a famous person, right? And it's a dude walking here, boom, boom, boom. He got a suit on, but he got a bad one with him. I think guys are going to be like, damn, what did he do?

[A]

Who is that?

[C]

Who is that 100%, you know what I'm saying? We seeing cats. Like how he pull her. He must be somebody.

[A]

Yes. And you know what else happens? Women also are like, I've been in this. I've been like that. Like, a woman will start to look at the man and be like, he could be no one famous or nothing. Like, I've been in a relationship with someone. And then a woman will start being like, well, what is he doing to her? He either putting it down crazy or he's breaking her off crazy. And either one of those things I'm trying to find out. And women will start messing with a man off of the fact that he has a bad one. That's always a fact. That always happens.

[C]

Does that make him give respect, though?

[A]

I think that it makes him be more like sought after as a man. For sure.

[C]

The women get more respect than the man in that situation.

[A]

Oh, you're saying like the women want the man more?

[C]

No, no, no. Like what Carlos is saying. A man gets more respected by a beautiful woman. I think the beautiful woman being with that man gets more respect than that man gets respect because they like, oh, okay, she with him. He must be popping then. So other girls is looking like, damn, who is this chick?

[A]

No, that's not true. It doesn't work like that. No. Because if the woman's with a random and then it starts to look like they might. Some woman might pump that man and be like, there must be something I want to find out. But then it also kind of looks like you look goofy with this man. And a lot of people and I've been in that type of situation before.

[C]

Where it's like he was looking goofy.

[A]

Where someone had told me what type eat when I was out. And they were like, what you doing with him? Yeah, like, what is this? But they didn't know him or what he actually did and how he was cracking. But like, he's. No, like, you don't.

[C]

So you were just with him for the cheese?

[A]

No, I liked him. I wasn't with him for cheese. I liked him. He's not ugly. He wasn't ugly, but he was shorter than me.

[C]

So, like, he was for the cheese.

[A]

No, he wasn't shorter than me. He was like a little taller than me right here. So people will be like, what? Like, mind you, like all of my exes outside of him been like 6, 5, 6, 8, like tall. So, like, he was just the first.

[C]

You got them NBA cats?

[A]

No, they were. No, it wasn't NBA, but they've been Tall. Yeah. My ex. My last ex is. He was six. Like seven. Yeah. But, like, I feel like, yeah, that's crazy. He was 6, 7. But they would just be like, you look crazy. When I was with the guy that was like, this much taller than me, and they were just, like, always saying. And then girls would be always on him because they're like, what's going on? He's something. He's cracking. Come to find out, girl, you can have them.

[C]

You can have them.

[A]

Please take them. Anyways, okay, moving on.

[C]

Moving on.

[A]

So Cam Newton and Natalie Nunn, they had this interview, as you've seen, and it's, like, all over the Internet or whatever. So I watched a lot of it. And so she. He had asked her, what does a baddie bring to the table?

[C]

When somebody say, like, I don't see baddie in the dictionary. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So when he ask her, what does a baddie bring to the table? This is her interpretation of it. So why is he question. He can't question what she feel like is a baddie? Cause her platform is baddies. So this is her outlook on what baddies is. So, like, you might have a definition of what you think a baddie is, right? And you might ask 10 different girls. You might get 10 different answers. And I saw that, and it was just like, well, everybody got a different definition of what a baddie is. Like, my definition of a baddie is different. What did she say?

[A]

So she basically said after a while, she said that a baddie, I guess, is somebody who, like, he may make more money than you, but she's a boss, okay? She's the boss. And she has more followers and more popularity. Right? That's what she ended up saying. Because it wasn't. The question isn't, what is a baddie?

[C]

Okay, so what the question.

[A]

The question is, what value does a baddie bring to a man?

[C]

So that's her definition.

[A]

That's her definition of what value?

[C]

Because she said, oh, the baddies that I'm bringing that I got on my shoulder that we cracking. They bringing following, which bringing attention to you. They're bringing a bag, which you're talking to all these hoes who don't have bags. You're bringing.

[A]

No, she's not saying that they have the money. She's saying, you have the money. But she might be a boss and just have more followers.

[C]

If you a boss, you got some. You got some money.

[A]

She's saying that the man. She said the man has more money, but she. You can have more followers and More popularity. That's what a baddies bring to the table. So the, the conflicting issue is people are like man and Cam. And everyone on there is like, why is that? Like what? Like, why is that bringing value to a relationship? Like, there should wear. And I even saw like, I don't think, I think it might have been Carlos, but I don't want to misquote. But some like commented, like, what is the actual like tangible value that you're bringing to a man? Like, you're telling me that you. Because when you ask a woman what their value is?

[C]

Tangible values, you can't categorize it to that. You can't say, I have to. Being something that we all can see. Because like, when you're bringing support, I can't see support.

[A]

No, and I get that. I agree with you. But they're saying like. And I don't disagree with either one. I don't have any side. So I just like talking about what the people are talking about. Like, I don't have a side. Like, I like Natalie Nunn. I think she's. She's a boss, she's getting her money, she's getting her back, she's married, she's cool to fly. Like, I have no issue with Natalie. I think she's cracking. What? I'm just saying what the people are saying. Okay, so the people are saying that basically they're like, what are you talking about? Like, when you bring value as a woman, popularity and followers is like the lowest thing on the list.

[C]

No, it's not. It's not though. Because now what I'm seeing, I'm seeing people hook up because of notoriety. Oh, let's be a power couple that's bringing value. So like, if this streamer and this influencer get together, they do that because it's bringing value to them. Oh, she can bring value to me. That's how people are hooking up these days. Like, let me go over here. Like, I'm seeing more and more cats in the NBA get with celebrities. And I don't know if it's genuine. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. They both bringing value to each other though. And it might be a business move. Cause they seeing like, look, Jay and Beyonce did it and Will Smith and Jada did it. Now you seeing Klay Thompson and Megan Thee Stallion. They might bring value to each other because of they notoriety, popularity and they both got bags. But you see them more and more now on a, on a level to where it's people that's like influencers. Streamers. And they like, damn, if I hook up with this other streamer influencer, it can bring value. And people are, like, hooking up because of that. And so that's why she can say, like, yeah, my baddies, they all over tv. Like you, we follow closely the show Love island, right? And so now the people from Love island, they got value on being with them. So, like.

[A]

But we're talking about real relationships. We're not talking about, like, relationships. We're talking about relationships that you can grow from and that you can actually be married with. None of those relationships lasted, but they.

[C]

Can grow into that.

[A]

Yeah, but they. None of them lasted. It's not one of them. So what I'm saying is, a lot of people are saying, what are this long, like, substantial value. But I get it. I. I feel what you're saying.

[C]

I feel like I understood exactly what she was saying.

[A]

Yeah, I get. Yeah, I can see what she was saying.

[C]

That's not what I'm looking for, but I understood exactly.

[A]

I get what she's saying, what she's saying.

[C]

When she said, what's a baddie? And what do they bring to the table? I clearly understood it. Whereas when you come from old school values, you know, Cam is a little older, so he might have a little different type of what values that he, like, looking for. Whereas, like, when you start looking at this new generation, the values are really way different.

[A]

I think the controversial part of it were people felt her answer prioritized, like, clout and power over traditional relationship clout now over traditional relationship values. So I think that that was the issue that people were facing. They're like, okay, but that doesn't seem real, you know, So a lot of people are like, yeah, I. If I'm looking for a real relationship and I'm getting with you because you're Paul Pierce, like, I'm in it for the wrong reasons, you know? So, like, what. And I think that that's. Was. That's why they were, like, having that struggle back and forth.

[C]

Because clearly saw.

[A]

Yeah, he's like, I'm what? Like. Cause he's thinking traditional, and she's thinking, like, this day and age. And she even said, like, I don't care about followers stuff, but the younger generation does. She even said that. So I feel like, you know, people are giving her a hard time, and they don't. Like, you know, she's saying she's speaking to a young gener of what these people are caring about now, and that's real. Which goes to.

[C]

I clearly understood what you was talking about.

[A]

Yeah, man.

[C]

You should come on the Truth. We can talk about it.

[A]

Right, right, right. We would love to have you on. Okay. We love you. Down.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So speaking of that, Cam Newton was on Bishop TD Jakes, he's been on this.

[C]

Another cameo. Damn.

[A]

So. Because we're on him. So he basically said he wants to make sure his woman is really with him for better or worse. Like he is going to test you or whatever. The case is similar. He didn't really say cheat on your girl to test her, but he's like, now, like, I need to really know are you with me for better or for worse? Like, because you know me at when I'm good. So, you know, it could be cracking and we could be doing this, but are we going to be good when it's not good?

[C]

Yeah. You know, everything is always fun and games when it's bliss and it's new and you don't go through anything. But, like, you gotta really go through something to figure out who that person is and what this relationship is. Yeah, that's. Anything you go through in life, business, relationships, you gotta really go through something. And, you know, a lot of people may understand me, and I didn't really. It was taken out of context when I said, you gotta cheat on your girl to really know if she'd have won. Nah, you ain't gotta do that. But there's certain things that has to happen that you have to go through that's not comfortable in a relationship.

[A]

I agree.

[C]

To understand. Is this built on sand or cement? You know what I'm saying?

[A]

That's real.

[C]

We gotta figure that out. And I don't wanna intentionally do it right, but. So how do we get to that part? How do we get to that? And as your celebrity, as a guy like Cam, who's made a lot of money, who's been famous, who's still doing his thing, it's always that being caught in the matrix to like, damn, am I in love? Am I infatuated? Am I. Is this. Is this a thing? Is it real? There's so many questions that has to be answered when guys are in that position. And girls too. So, yeah, my thing is to really figure out who a girl really is. You gotta be a little edgy sometime.

[A]

With a little edgy.

[C]

You gotta. I don't know. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is entails. Maybe you gotta lie to her about something. Like, maybe you gotta come home and be like, babe, I slept with Another girl.

[A]

And you wanna inflict trauma on somebody for no reason so you feel better.

[C]

Listen, trauma builds. Character trauma builds.

[A]

Yeah, but that's not your job. We're not going back now.

[C]

No, no, no. Listen though. When I break a bone in my arm, I've broken bones, you know what happens? It grows back stronger. You know that? Did you know that?

[A]

Oh, because I've grown and it feels weak.

[C]

When you break something, it feels weaker.

[A]

One of my X ray.

[C]

If you get the X ray before, if you have X rays and then you break a bone. I've broken this finger. So they'll show the bone healing and coming back. And it grew an extra layer of bone.

[A]

The finger looks pretty messed up to me.

[C]

No, no, no. But it grows back stronger. Like, seriously, like when you get a cut, the skin comes back and it's a stronger layer of skin. It may not look as good. You know, it might be darker, black and a blemish, but the skin is tougher. And that's because it went through something.

[A]

I think that pain is weakness leaving the body. And I do believe that you go through things that make you stronger. But I don't believe that there's any person on this earth that should decide to inflict pain, hurt or harm onto anybody. But that is physical. No, I'm not talking about physical. I'm talking about emotional Trauma can be worse than physical trauma because I can literally get like a cut and it can hurt, but someone putting something into my mind can last for a very long time. Cause again, anxiety, lose sleep, lose trust. Like at the end of the day, that hurts. And I feel like there's so many ways, including. Let's see what happens when you actually get sick. Let's see what happens when you go through a. A storm in your life.

[C]

Common things, though. As a boyfriend, I'm supposed to be by your. When we get sick. That's easy. That's.

[A]

No, but there's a lot of people. Let me tell you something. My grandmother died and my nephew's girlfriend went to Puerto Rico on a girls trip. And she was the matriarch of our family. Like, and he was taking care of her full blown, spending bread on her, doing this. There is ways you can tell if a woman is rocking with you or not.

[C]

No, because people handle trauma differently. Some people cry, some people smile so you don't see them cry. Some people do different things when you go through trauma that they don't want to show it because somebody goes through something. That don't mean I'm supposed To sulk and cry. People handle it different. So don't use that.

[A]

I mean. What do you mean?

[C]

It's a reflection of hurt because maybe because like when my mom passed, I flew to Australia to like.

[A]

No, but that I could have sat.

[C]

In my house and mourned.

[A]

But you're hearing me wrong. The girlfriend who he wanted by himself side went to Puerto Rico on a girls trip.

[C]

Oh, the girlfriend, yes.

[A]

Not him, that. Someone he was taking care of and putting up in a house and buying this and buying that and was there for 24,7 she was getting roses because she was on her period and she was gone and he left her. So there's going to be things like that that happen that are going to help you decide what's going on. Like if I'm with somebody and my something happens to my parents, like that's going to help me know. Do you really rock with me? When you go through dark periods of time, you're someone passes away close to you, something happen with your kids. Like not everything's going to be beautiful and pretty. Trust me, we know that. I can't name a year riding go through something. So you gonna go through something. And when you do, you're going to see if that woman is really there for you or not. So stop trying to figure it out on your own. God gonna show you. Always. Every single time.

[C]

There we go.

[A]

Moving forward.

[C]

Moving forward.

[A]

JLO said that women multiply whatever you give them. So like growth. She's basically saying like women are false.

[C]

False. If I give her $100, she gonna multiply that.

[A]

No, but she said she gonna spend that shit. She said.

[C]

Women multiply everything outta here.

[A]

Groceries become meals, a house becomes a home. A baby. You give her a little mm, mm, she gets a baby. And if you give a woman grief, then you get a thousand headaches. She said that men do a lot, but women do more.

[C]

No, no and no. Women do not multiply things. They subtract things.

[A]

Oh my God. Wow.

[C]

They take our heart, they take our feelings. And then we marry them. Divorces, they take half. So how is that multiplying something?

[A]

Sounds like you've been with the wrong woman.

[C]

No, that ain't got nothing to do with me. This is facts. This is data.

[A]

This is not. I feel like a lot of people been in the wrong relationships. I feel like if you're in the right relationship, guys multiply and help each other grow. Not always, not every day, not every hundred dollars. But in the long run, when you.

[C]

Assess it, when Jeff Bezos divorced What happened? She took.

[A]

We're talking about people choose the wrong. They have their pickers off. And I think that that's what's happening.

[C]

We have to understand about life. There's all like, marriage is never forever. For the most part, nobody gets married and that's the happily ever and that's it. You go to the grave with that person. Most likely, if you get married once, you're going to divorce. What's the statistics on that? Right. So at the end of the day, there's going to be some giving, but that's going to be a lot more taken than giving. Okay.

[A]

Okay. So in Ghana, the police issued a warning that deliberately withholding sex could be considered emotional abuse under the Domestic Violence act and could carry penalties if proven in court. They, the Ghana police put out a statement, said that persistent refusal of sex within marriage could legally fall under emotional abuse if it causes harm. If proven in that in court, it will be considered a part of a domestic abuse case and potentially carry penalties, including jail time.

[C]

I'm rolling. I'm encouraging all you black men in America. It's time for us to move back to the motherland. It's time for us to go to Ghana because the laws are made for us, whereas the laws in America don't really accommodate us. But the law. It's time. It's time.

[A]

You know what I'll say to this? I think this is wild, but I will say that I feel like what's frustrating and I'm not a man, so I don't know, but men spend all day doing things that they don't want to do, including going to the gym, lifting weights, working.

[C]

No, men want to do that. Okay, well, there are some things that men don't want to do.

[A]

I feel like there's a lot of things that men have to sacrifice that they don't want to do.

[C]

Yeah, we do more.

[A]

So I feel like if a woman is like, I don't want to feel like having sex, a man becomes frustrated because, like, girl, I didn't want to build this house, provide this family, go to work every day and be tired, come home, take care of your ass, and now you just don't want to have sex. This is blowing me. You know what I mean? So it's like, I feel like that's. That's how I kind of look at it. Like a man is sacrificing so much and doing so many things just to get rejected because, like, we're not in the mood at that moment. You know what I mean? And it's like, men do a lot of things they're not in the mood for all the time.

[C]

What if a man is laying there and the girl, you know, try to get it cracking and he reject her? That might be. That'll mess a woman up way more than it is.

[A]

Yeah, it would. Because it's not normal for a man to do that, though. It's normal for a woman to do that. Unfortunately, it is.

[C]

Let's normalize us Denying the women there. Let's normalize us when they lean over, just be like, nah, I'm good right now watching this show. Let's normalize that.

[A]

Men can't resist them back in their place. Men can't resist that earth. Cause once she starts doing some things, they're gonna be like, whatever.

[C]

But, like, when we start doing some things, why you can't be like, ooh, like, damn, come on. It should go both ways.

[A]

I agree. I personally, I get it cracking, but at the end of the day, it is what it is. So I think Ghana. That's crazy.

[C]

Time for us to move to the.

[A]

If I go to jail because I decided I wasn't the move for sex.

[C]

Yeah, put her in the gym.

[A]

This is crazy.

[C]

Nah, that ain't crazy. That's real.

[A]

Oh, that's crazy. So, anyways, this is the Daily Fantasy segment brought to you by Prizepix, where you can win real cash by playing Daily Fantasy, use code TAD and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. So today, for this segment, we're gonna play a little game, and I'm gonna ask you some questions, and you're gonna tell me what you would rather deal with. Okay? So there's gonna be two options, and you pick one and tell us why. Okay.

[C]

Okay. So I don't like either option.

[A]

You gotta pick one.

[C]

All right, all right.

[A]

Okay. So number one, a partner who is more honest but blunt and sometimes hurts your feelings, or a partner who is less honest but more loving and avoids conflict.

[C]

I think I'm gonna go with the person who is more loving than honest and avoids conflict. Cause I feel like you gonna lie to me at some point about something, it ain't even gonna be a big deal. You just don't wanna have an argument over something.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Like, it might be a friend that I don't like, but you hung out with her, and then you say it's a different friend. You know, it's just like little stuff like that. Like, ooh.

[A]

Those lies start to add up, though. I don't like Those lies.

[C]

I like the love, though. I need that love.

[A]

So you don't think you could have love with an honest partner? That's blunt.

[C]

All right, say it again. The options.

[A]

So a partner who's more honest but blunt. So, like, baby, I don't like that and sometimes hurts your feelings. Or a partner who is less honest but more loving and avoids conflict.

[C]

More loving and avoid conflict. I don't like conflict. You could be blunt. My feelings don't never hardly get hurt. It's hard to hurt my feelings.

[A]

Then what? Then? That doesn't make sense. Then.

[C]

So then that means you could deal with that, huh?

[A]

Then you could deal with someone being honest.

[C]

And if somebody blunt who trying to hurt your feelings.

[A]

This is not saying. This is the example that I would think. Like, I could tell you, like, baby, I like when you do this. I don't like how this feels when you're doing that. I don't love it. Or I could just be like, I'm not gonna say anything because I feel bad. I'm just gonna deal with it, and I'm just gonna be more loving and pretend that I like.

[C]

Just sounds more irritating. Give me the second one.

[A]

So you rather someone not tell you how they feel about certain things to avoid hurting your feelings.

[C]

You're gonna do that anyway.

[A]

But then you never get to a place in relationship where you can grow.

[C]

I think we'll figure it out. We'll throw some water on that.

[A]

I think that my approach is I'm less honest but more loving. Like, I' about anything. But I do like, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So if I didn't like something, I probably wouldn't say it, but I feel like I want to work on being more like, I like it this way or I like this and that. I feel like that gets you to a better place in a relationship. Because I want someone to tell me. I want someone to tell me, like, be honest, what's up? You don't like this? Let me do it the way you like. And then it nips it in the bud tonight. Like, you know, okay, so the next one is a partner who makes more money but has less time for you or a partner that makes less money but has more time and is more emotionally available to travel and do the things that you want to do.

[C]

That's easy. Number two, More time, more available to travel. I mean, like, for me as a man, I'm not even, like, focused on a female's money like that, you know, regardless, if I played in The NBA or if I was just a working man. I feel like it's a man's duty to take care of his woman. So, you know, if she had money and all that. But I need. I need that care package in the second. In the second package. Because you're gonna uplift me, but just because yo. Attitude and more loving and more. More. What you say?

[A]

Just like, emotion.

[C]

Emotional. That's more emotional. Like, you're gonna have my gas up when my gas is low. Yeah, I need that. That's gonna uplift, so I'm gonna roll with that. That.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

What about you?

[A]

I'm gonna say I like to have quality time, but obviously, like, it's hard because I'm a woman. So I don't know.

[C]

You want a. With more money, for sure.

[A]

I mean, it's. But then I wouldn't want a man that has less time for you.

[C]

But that's. You gotta pick one or the other.

[A]

I don't know. I can't pick this. I'm moving on.

[C]

What you want his money or his time?

[A]

I want his time. I'm not gonna lie. Because then. Then. But, like, it's hard because then we just gonna have a whole bunch of time and we just broke. Like, I'm confused. What are we doing?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Even doing nothing. Just laying out, struggling to make the bills.

[C]

Like, I'm not dealing with that.

[A]

No, but that's crazy though, too. So. I don't know. It's hard being a woman because as a woman, you're like. Well, like, there's sacrifices you make. That's why the ladies say, like, now you have to get you an older man that's already did what he needed to do, and y' all could hit it. So this yesterday. So I guess that's what they're doing now.

[C]

But anyway, so said just the other day that older girls is going after the young.

[A]

They are. But this is not an older person that told me this. This is a. Listen, she's not younger, but she's just like. I'm not talking about 40 plus. She's under 40, and she was saying this. You know what I mean?

[C]

Cooked. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, she's cooked, I guess. Anyways, you run the. The next one is a partner who is more dominant and decisive but less emotionally expressive. So, like, knows what you want, knows how to make decisions very clear. Or a partner who's way more emotional but less, like, structured and assertive.

[C]

Start over again.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. A person who's more, like, decisive and what they want. Dominant, but they Are less expressive emotionally.

[C]

So masculine versus what?

[A]

Versus a partner who's way more emotional. Like, babe, do you love me?

[C]

What are you doing?

[A]

But less structured and assertive. But, like, not dominant. Like, you know, just wants you to make all the decisions.

[C]

More femininity. I'm taking number two because the sound. The first one is a little more masculine than I like. That's too assertive. You gonna say something in front of the homies one day and we gonna argue. It's gonna be crazy.

[A]

Okay. Got you.

[C]

These type of women always. I done seen them type of women be all. In front of you, your girls and you and your homies. And then she shoots something to. To him in front of all of them. That's foul.

[A]

Like, what? I'm curious to know what that would be like, man.

[C]

I done seen it.

[A]

What would they say? What was said, man?

[C]

Like a dude say, you hear you a cat with your homies and this is your girl and she just chilling and it's your homies say, it's just her. She might be like, say she walk in like, nigga, why you wanna answer my calls? But I'm right here. Or something. Like, you done asked my text the other day. I had to go upside your head, like, in front of. In front of the homies.

[A]

This is crazy.

[C]

Why you speaking all that? And you could tell that he wasn't, you know, he wasn't a man in the relationship, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

See this, you guys gotta understand. See, you can always tell in a relationship because not always. All the guys wear the boxers.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Some guys wear the lingeree.

[A]

The lingerie.

[C]

Yeah, I call it lingerie.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And some of the girls wear the boxers and it's noticeable and, you know, it's okay. Some guys need that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Not me.

[A]

But I don't like that. I personally would go for a partner who's more dominant and decisive because I'm going to be the one that's like, I don't know. What do you want? Like, I don't want to do that. So. Okay, so just two more, and then we're going to move. We're going to finish this segment. But a partner who challenges you and pushes you to grow, but obviously that causes more friction because they're challenging you and they're. They're pushing you to your limits. Or a partner who just supports you emotionally but doesn't push. Push you to grow.

[C]

That's a good one. A partner who pushes you to grow. I like that. A partner who pushes you to grow. Because that can mean in so many different things. Spiritually, emotionally, financially. You know, you can grow in so many different areas in your life. And, you know, when you got a partner that's down for that, I think that's pretty cool. You know, like, if you got somebody that's very, likes, encouraging to just deal with bad habits or, you know, do more of this and it notices it, I'm with that.

[A]

Okay. I think the same. I would like to have somebody that pushes me to grow. For sure. I'm very, like, I need to learn a lot of things, and I like to grow from just learning from someone who can teach me.

[C]

Yeah. I don't always think I'm the smartest dude in the room. Just, like, when. Even, like, when you say words. I don't know. I don't afraid. I don't be afraid to say what that means. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't want to come across like, I know everything. I. I ain't like that for sure.

[A]

Okay, last one. A partner who has more boundaries and independence, but they're less emotionally attached to.

[C]

You or get them out of here.

[A]

Or a partner.

[C]

I got to hear the other one.

[A]

A partner who's emotionally attached, like, very attached to you, but has less independence.

[C]

Yeah, I like. I like the second one. Less independence.

[A]

Less independence is crazy. They feed you for everything.

[C]

Yeah, that's cool. But I can teach you independence.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I'm saying? You got more room to grow.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[C]

I can roll with that.

[A]

You can rock with that. Okay, this is the last one. I thought we had two more. This last one. A partner who communicates everything immediately, even if it causes, like, friction. Or a partner who just process things quietly and avoids the confrontation to keep the peace. Well, you already said earlier you don't like conflict, so you want someone to.

[C]

I want to avoid the conversation, like. Cause I think a lot of things, like, you go through it, say, like, we talked about this on the episode. Like, a lot of times you overreact when you tell something immediately when something happens immediately.

[A]

It's an overreaction process.

[C]

So, like, you need to take time to really process. And I've learned that over my years to, like, really process it, soak it in, evaluate it, and then make a decision on how I go about it. Cause like I said, I could just go into, like, a restaurant, and I could see the homie with a girl, and I'll be like, hold on. Or the homegirl with a dude, and I could be like, hey, but I have a question. She over here. Like, hey, dog, she over here. But I don't know what's going on. So, like, let me process it, let me assess it. And then I'm gonna just be like, man, maybe that's his cousin, auntie.

[A]

But if you're in a relationship and you're going through something and something happens, and this is what happens sometimes, like, and I've had this where you're trying to process, but you, your partner is so in tune with you energetically.

[C]

And so I'm gonna leave it alone.

[A]

So no, usually they're like, what's wrong? What's wrong? I could feel something's wrong. I know you. I know something's wrong and you're trying to process it and you're like, nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong. But they're so in tune with you. So that can happen a lot in relationships to where it's like, you have to just say it at that point. People try to process, but if you're with somebody and you guys are in.

[C]

Tune with each other, processing it is different ways to process it too. Cause when you process it, you can't let it like, affect you. Processing mode. It's like, I'm still processing. I'm going about it like you don't even know what's going on. But when I'm really, I do that alone. When I'm just kind of sitting there, I need to do that alone. Cause when your partner know you, you show it. And so like, you know, you gotta kinda like assess it differently or come off like, you know, ain't nothing going on right now. Let me act normal. Then when I get in my space, I can process it better.

[A]

Yeah, but sometimes you can't just and just act normal when it's like, for me, you could tell on my energy, on my face, like, I could say nothing and just be like, I could see something that bothers me and then I'm saying nothing. But I just have that energy where.

[C]

It'S just like, some people gotta let it out because it affects them too much.

[A]

Right?

[C]

Like me. I'm not gonna show what's bothering me off the rip. You know, I might, you know, I'm gonna process it a little different. You know, processing is a little different for everybody.

[A]

Okay, well, anyways, thank you guys to our good friends at prize Picks, America's number one sports sports pick app. Use code TAD and get $50 instantly in lineups. When you play your first $5. There's a viral list that women put out about all the Places that they will not go on a date to. They absolutely refuse to go on a date.

[C]

Don't tell me. Okay, I want to say this. If I take her to the California Pizza Kitchen, she not going.

[A]

That's not. Actually not on the list. But the first thing on the list is Cheesecake Factory.

[C]

So you saying this cheesecake is lower than California?

[A]

Well, they probably just didn't forget to put on Applebee's, Chilies, Olive Garden, Chipotle.

[C]

Talking about franchises that's not even out there no more.

[A]

All those franchises are out there.

[C]

They're not out there like they used to be. Like, where do you. Where. Where's the Chili's at that.

[A]

There's one out here.

[C]

Where?

[A]

It's in Encino, in the same shopping.

[C]

Center as the spot you gotta go to get that.

[A]

Like, there's Chili's in. And also there's a Chili's that way.

[C]

Oh, that's too far to go to some of these places. Cheesecake, I get it.

[A]

These are average people. You have to stop thinking about you.

[C]

That Chili's is by me. I know exactly where.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm saying there's Cheesecake Factory everywhere.

[C]

There's Cheesecakes everywhere.

[A]

So there's Olive Garden everywhere.

[C]

We should test this theory out. We should. I should take five girls out to five different places on that list to see if they reject it.

[A]

So another place is the movies, your house, any fast food chain, Red Lobster, the gym, the church.

[C]

How old are these women?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

The gym, church. I mean, not the gender. Yeah, what is the gender of these women.

[A]

Anyways? Can I finish the list or no? The gym, church, Starbucks, coffee dates, ice cream dates, family functions.

[C]

What race are these women?

[A]

Somewhere that requires a long drive. Bowling, a hookah bar, nightclubs. A bar for just drinks.

[C]

Black women want to go. So this Waffle House. This couldn't been a black people.

[A]

It is black people.

[C]

No, this is not black people.

[A]

This is all the black people.

[C]

This is all where all the black people want to go.

[A]

They don't.

[C]

This can't be. This can't be black people. This can't be a list for black people. Because all the black girls want to go to all these places. So this can't be that. Don't tell me. This list. Where is this list from?

[A]

I think it's black people.

[C]

No, this is probably like, it was.

[A]

Black people in the comments. Asians don't make a list of places they're not going on a first date on, like, the only race that's doing that is us. The only people that are talking about this is us. The only people that are really still on the Internet arguing about relationships is us. Like, let's just keep it a buck. You think that Asians are like, let me put together a list of all the places I want Asians. Asians are married to other Asians with families and living their best life and going to go on tourist trips. They're not worried about what the hell of a first date is going on. Okay, honey, is this.

[C]

Consist of. This is all women or men? This is all women. This has to be.

[A]

This is women who no man is talking about.

[C]

This is all. This ain't. Can't be black women talking about this.

[A]

It is.

[C]

Cause I'll take. We go to Red Lobster Sizzler. You ain't going to Sizzler.

[A]

I'm not. I'm. I don't eat Sizzler on my own though. I'm not eating no Sizzler.

[C]

Damn.

[A]

I will be blowed. I'm not eating Sizzler though. And it's not even about nothing. I'm not eating no Sizzler though. Just because I don't eat that. I don't want to be in those hungry.

[C]

You go to Sizzling, ain't eating nothing.

[A]

Maybe like a salad. Like, maybe they're like. But I wouldn't want to. I'll be very, very like. Only because I don't eat that. I didn't even. I don't eat that. I didn't. I don't eat that.

[C]

That like, damn, that's.

[A]

But I would go to a hookah bar. I would go to a bar for drinks. I would go to. The only reason why I wouldn't go to the movies is cuz I want to be able to talk to you on a first date.

[C]

What about his house?

[A]

I'm not going. Yeah, I'm not going to your house.

[C]

First date.

[A]

No, I'm never going to. You've never done that to someone's house? No, I'm not going to someone's house. You could kill me like a murderer.

[C]

First date. You ain't never done it?

[A]

No, I'm never going to your house. No. I'm not going into a room, private room with a man I just met right now. Like, that's crazy. That's scary. I'm cool. I will go on a coffee.

[C]

What about the Four Seasons? Is that on there? The Ritz?

[A]

The first. No, that's not on there.

[C]

The first date. The first dates, they probably would. They going the Ritz you ain't going to that. Room service, 24 hour.

[A]

So anyways, that's crazy.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

So speaking of, I'll go to your.

[C]

House, but I'll go to the Ritz.

[A]

Right? I'm not going to nowhere. That includes us being in a room together when I don't even know you. Like, that's crazy to me. I have to at least know you a little bit. Like, first date, just getting to know you.

[C]

That's all. Cap. That list is Cap.

[A]

Cap fitted it.

[C]

We know that. Come on now.

[A]

Okay, so basically, Claudia Jordan said that.

[C]

Cj, I know Claudia Jordan.

[A]

Yeah. So she said that Dating in your 40s is harsh, man. Claudia women think that they finally ready to settle down, there will be a lot of supply on the shelf, and there isn't.

[C]

Is Claudia married? No, I don't think so.

[A]

I think she's not. That's why she's saying this, that she's in her 40s, and she's saying that when you are young, you're hitting it, you're cracking. And now she's like, you know, it's not as many people on the shelf as you would want.

[C]

Yeah, that's true for the older ladies. Yeah. I'm trying to see if she married. I'm looking up on him now.

[A]

She's not married. I'm telling you, she's not married.

[C]

Okay. So, yeah, I think that's true. She must. She going through it right now. She in her low 40s right now. In the dating pool is probably like, it slims up. Because most guys is either she said.

[A]

All the good guys are married or they're in a relationship, basically.

[C]

I mean, you know, that's just what it is. She true. She true. She know. You know, when you start. Like when you start going through your 40s and then midlife. Cause midlife crisis kicks in more for females earlier than men. Cause you like, damn. I don't know what age group to deal with. Cause now you got all these. When you in your 40s, you start like, damn, do I mess with this young dude? Cause now I got a crop of young dudes on me. But then now I got these old dudes, but he got too much issues. Then this dude, oh, no, he my age. But he, you know, he toxic. It's just like, damn.

[A]

Do you think that it's a red flag for a man, like, to be, like. A lot of women will say, like, if a man's like, older, like, 40s up there, 50s, and he's single, and you meet him that he's a red flag?

[C]

No. Cause most men in that space are at peace. Most men in that space then did everything already. Most men at that age, they married and if they single, they've been divorced maybe one or two times and they like, you know, they get at peace with theyself. They like, they not even trippin.

[A]

What about, what about. Because I remember I was dating someone and he was like, maybe like 44 or something. I don't remember. But he didn't have any kids. And I remember, like, I like, someone told me, like, oh, he's a red flag because he's in his 40s and he doesn't have kids.

[C]

Well, you can't judge that because you could say the same thing about girls who in their 30s who don't got no kids.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, are they a red flag? You know, we talked about that. But then, you know, you can't like look at it like that. You know, some guys just probably worked their whole life and was like, man, I can't afford kids or I can't afford to be married. You know, it's a lot of people like that, like, well, sometimes it don't even be afforded financially stable. And you ain't really been out there like that. You don't want to just put a kid in the world who you can't take care of.

[A]

But what if he's not? Cause the situation I was in, he was actually rich and he just didn't have kids. His situation was like, I never wanted.

[C]

Like, damn, you had a gang of different situations. We like, he was 6 8. You had the 68 rich.

[A]

It wasn't a gang. These are some of the same people. You realize that?

[C]

No, it ain't none of the same people.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[C]

You said the 6 8. You just said the other rich. Some of the dude that was this height. Then you had the shorter man. Then you had the man your height.

[A]

No, the shorter man and the man behind is the same person.

[C]

How?

[A]

Because I meant to say he was a little taller than me.

[C]

You had all the situations. You'd have been through all the situations.

[A]

See, then you about to start. No, I haven't. No, my situation. What?

[C]

Tell us about the rich guy.

[A]

He was someone I dated. That was it. And he was in his 40s.

[C]

How old was you?

[A]

How old was I? Like, I don't know.

[C]

You do know.

[A]

No, I really don't.

[C]

He was in his 40s. You was what?

[A]

I was like 20 something.

[C]

How much did you weigh?

[A]

Goodbye.

[C]

No, I'm saying, though, like was it during that time?

[A]

No, it wasn't.

[C]

Well then how. You don't know. You remember so much but you were getting the main thing.

[A]

I don't remember the exact ages of a lot of stuff though. But I know I was before I was like 25.

[C]

So it was a 20, 19 year gap. You're capping 100%. You're capping. There's no chance of that. I know for sure you're capping. See, you lie. You just get on here and lie.

[A]

I'm not lying though. 20 years he was like, he. This is the thing. It was no one that I ever took serious. It was a dating like and. And then I just remember one time I dated him once. We went out on date and I remember my.

[C]

How you remember him so much.

[A]

I remember him because I remember that people were like, he's a red flag. That's what made me be like, do I. Like I was young so I was impressionable. And I remember like always having that on my mind. Now, like, is that a red flag? But is it also a red flag for a man to have seven kids? Like, you know what? What? Like would you rather deal with a man with zero kids, no baggage, no baby mamas, or would you rather deal with a man like it was impressionable to me because I always remember that. Like, do I rather deal with a man with these kids or do I rather deal with a man who doesn't have kids and doesn't have all that extra baggage? Like that was an impressionable moment. Sometimes you have moments in your life that are impressionable on you.

[C]

So are you a red flag? I don't know.

[A]

I hope not.

[C]

I think that being a middle aged.

[A]

Lady and middle aged age is crazy. Okay, middle aged lady at 34, I don't have any kids.

[C]

Is that a red flag?

[A]

Maybe it depends on who you ask.

[C]

See that's. Don't. I don't want to put that on. That.

[A]

I don't. It depends on who you're asking me.

[C]

I wouldn't put that on you. I wouldn't call that a red flag.

[A]

Thank you. I appreciate that you've said otherwise multiple times, but I mean I might have.

[C]

Said you cooked and some other things, but I wouldn't.

[A]

You talked about me like a dog.

[C]

No, I didn't.

[A]

You do.

[C]

I just. We always talk about your journey when you was 295 pounds and I was what?

[A]

I wasn't 295 pounds. I never.

[C]

Man, this picture right here look crazy.

[A]

Don't bring up Pictures right now. Put it down. Put it down. We not doing it.

[C]

Not 295. No. This at least three something.

[A]

No, I've never been £300 in my life. I've never been £300 in MY life. I haven't. I've never been £300.

[C]

300. The way. That's. That was crazy. I looked at. Cause it came up on my feed today. I was like, damn. It came up on my feed today. I was like, damn, that looked like more than 280.

[A]

Anything else you would like to say?

[C]

No, I was just. It came up on my feed. It never came up on my feed in a minute. And it came up today. You had the all black on and you was. And then you showed them the bam. Look now, though. That's what's up. Look now, though.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Breathing hard.

[A]

Cause you.

[C]

I run you.

[A]

You run me.

[C]

I run you low.

[A]

Yeah, you run me low. So anyways, women were asked, would they rather deal with a married man that never tells you no, or deal with.

[C]

A man, married man that never tells you no?

[A]

Yeah, this is so. So. So this man went on the street and asked like, a bunch of women, like hundreds of women, would you rather deal with a married man that tells you no?

[C]

That tells you no?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Never tells you no.

[A]

That never tells you no.

[C]

I'm sorry. Yeah.

[A]

Or deal with your. With your man who tells you no. 45 of the time, about 99% women said they'll do it with the married man that never told me.

[C]

First of all, this is stupid, because a married man is gonna say no. There's no. When you're married, you have to say no. You're married. You next to your wife. Hey, come hang out with me. No, not right now. I'm chilling. I'm chilling. You're out with her at dinner. Pull up. No, I can't do that right now. Like, that's a lie. When you marry, you gotta say no more. So that ain't real. That ain't real.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Married men have to say more.

[A]

But the point. But it's not about if it's real. It's the fact that women rather deal with a man that's not theirs.

[C]

When it comes to money, a married man, like, I need 10,000. Okay? That you asked your. You ask your man, I need 10,000, he gonna be like, hell, no. But the merry man, like, when it comes to stuff like that, if you're talking about just, like, items, the married man gonna say more. Yes. When you talk about time, he gonna say more. No, Right, right, right.

[A]

That wasn't the point of it.

[C]

But that was the point of it. I seen it. I've been around. I see. You know, I'm a little older, so I didn't seen all the. Yeah, all of that. That. Okay.

[A]

So there's this viral conversation where a woman. So a man says, if I. If we were on the street and a bunch of group of men came up to you disrespecting you, what do you expect me to do? And the woman was like, I expect you to beat them all up. And met the man is, like, respecting her. Yeah. And the man.

[C]

What's the most. Like, what's the disrespect like? Grab her.

[A]

I don't know. They didn't say that. They just said the disrespect.

[C]

Call her out of her name if.

[A]

Can I finish what? The whole thing first.

[C]

You got it. You got it.

[A]

Like, damn, you've been cutting me off hard. I can't finish the whole topic one time. This is crazy. Like, oh, my God. So she said that she wants them to beaten up. And the men that were on that podcast were all like, how are we expected to pay everything, protect you, and potentially die? We're not allowed to be scared. We're not allowed to have nothing going on. Like, why I gotta beat 10 men up? Like, oh, let's run. Like, I'm not trying to beat 10 men up and put my life at risk because he disrespected. Like, these are 10 men against me, and you want me to beat them all up one by one? It was blowing them on this thing. So I'm saying, what do you feel about that?

[C]

So if 10 dudes come up, I'm with my chair and they just come over here. I'm like, y' all got her. Let me get up out of here. Let me get up out of here. This is drama.

[A]

Y' all got her. Drama.

[C]

This is drama right now.

[A]

You're not gonna. At least.

[C]

You gotta be able to keep up. You gotta be able to keep up with me on the run. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What's the disrespect like? All right, all right. Here on some real shit. 10 dudes come out of here. I'mma see that from afar. I'm like, baby, need to walk faster to the car. It's like, I'mma see that ain't no 10 dudes coming up on me. I'm not gonna even put myself in that type of situation. And then if I did and they disrespecting like, touching. Calling you out your name. Ain't no touching. Then I'm gonna have to get beat up. Yeah, if touched, then I'm gonna have to get beat up. But out your name. Let's keep it moving. Like, words ain't nothing but, like, disrespectful. Over crossing the line is touching for me. Yeah, but, like, words is like, you know what? We can deal with words. I'm grown. You know, they can call you a B. You know, whatever. Let's get out of here. You know what? We ain't on that. But, like, if the touching is, then that's next level. I gotta be like, nah, that's not going down. Then I'm have to get jumped, period.

[A]

Okay, so that's interesting. I personally don't want to see my man get jumped, so I would probably just be like, let's hit.

[C]

You can't touch my girl, my wife, my significant other. You can't touch her at all. At all. Don't even think you can do that. We gonna have to get down. I don't care. Because now if they do that and we walk away, I gotta hear it from you, and I see you more than them, so I'd rather get my ass whooped and live with that. To where you gonna be loving me more?

[A]

Yeah, for sure. Loving more. But I will be riddled with so much guilt. I would feel so bad. I would be up, and then I feel like I owe you all this and I don't want to live like that. Yeah, I don't want to live like that. I'd rather. Let's just hit it. Let's hit it. Like, because then I'm gonna feel so guilty every day. Like, I don't want to live like that.

[C]

So.

[A]

No, but I get it. But now. Okay, so we're gonna be doing a little, like, hotline. So if you guys have any questions or you want to say anything, please make sure you guys DM us send them in all of that. So we're going to answer just a quick fan questions, and then we're going to wrap up. So this at Luna. Oh, well, I don't know who. They want us to say their Instagram names, so let's not. So. Okay, I need real advice because this has been sitting on my chest. I've been dealing with my boyfriend almost two years now. And before him, I hooked up one time with someone he knows. Knows it's not his friend friend. But they do run into each other sometimes, and they have a few mutual Friends. It literally was nothing and meant nothing. And it was way before him. Part of me feels like I should tell him because I don't feel like keeping stuff from him. But part of me feels like it's just going to create unnecessary drama and jealousy for no reason. I'm also low key, scared he'll judge me or even leave me even though it was way before him. Will he respect me more if I tell him? Am I supposed to say something or just leave it alone?

[C]

Shut the fuck up, girl. Move on. If you don't know, don't worry about it.

[A]

What if the man tells him he a lie?

[C]

He's lying.

[A]

You'd say that he's lying.

[C]

Show some receipts. I don't. Don't deal with the drama, girl. Just like if it's already, if it's good, leave it alone. It was before him, right? You ain't got to bring him nothing before him. And you don't really mess with him. And they ain't really like that. That's nothing.

[A]

But they run into each other, she's saying, and they see each other and they have mutual friends. That's cool.

[C]

Cool, whatever. Leave it alone. It's not that serious. Okay, Don't. You ain't got to say nothing. Keep it moving.

[A]

And then so what if the man says something and then the man, her dude gets mad. Like, why you didn't tell me? You know, I ran into this guy, you know, I be seeing him sometimes and we had mutual friends. You never told me. So now I look stupid because he said something.

[C]

Leave it alone though. We'll talk about it later. That's what she didn't tell him. Like, cuz I ain't wanted no drama. But it was before you. So what you telling me about all the girls you before me.

[A]

Right?

[C]

You know what I'm saying?

[A]

I feel that. Okay. I feel that. Next thing, my girl goes through my phone a lot. She says it's not because she thinks I'm cheating. It just makes her feel better because of the stuff that happened in her past. I don't have anything to hide, but it honestly makes me uncomfortable and I feel like I don't really have privacy. I love her and I don't want to make her feel more insecure, but I'm starting to feel kind of controlled. Am I tripping or. Or is this something I should actually be worried about?

[C]

Red flag. You need to leave her.

[A]

You can't just be telling people to leave.

[C]

P Ma, it's time to go. This is time to go. Yeah. Dog, you too insecure. You probably a depressed person. I can't be with nobody like that. You handle your issues and you bringing your past into ours now, into our future. Because you said I dealt with this before, right? So you taking your past and you putting it into our relationship. Right? So you know what? I'm not dealing with that. That you need to get over that first and then move into a new relationship because clearly it's affecting ours.

[A]

Okay, I get that. So I've been dating this guy for like a year and a half. He treats me really good. We talk about the future and all of that, but he still hasn't introduced me to his family. And he doesn't really post me. He says he's just private and doesn't feel like people in his business. But sometimes I feel hidden, and it messes with my head. Everything else is good. So I don't know if I'm overthinking or if this is a real red.

[C]

Flag back you overthinking it. The time is right. It'll be right. You know, he probably dealt with some stuff before. Listen, as long as it's good between y' all two, the parents, like, damn, if he gonna date a girl, meet to introduce every girl to his parents that he date. No. Come on. Dogs gotta be real. When y' all start living together and y' all start really, really talking, engaged, that make more sense. I get it. Leave it alone. Keep moving. It's good. Now, now, don't overthink it.

[A]

Okay. My boyfriend paid this last one. My boyfriend pays most of the bills and stuff, and I'm grateful for that. But lately I feel like I'm doing way more in other ways. I'm cooking, I'm cleaning, I'm supporting him, emotionally hyping him up and all of that. Sometimes it feels like we. He really. All he really brings is money. And I know that sounds bad, but that's how it feels. I don't want to make it transactional or start a fight, but I don't want to always feel like I'm being unappreciated. How could I even bring that up to him?

[C]

All right, this what you need to do. And you need to think about it like this. How about if the roles were reversed and he did your job and you did his job, how would you feel? Cause most girls be like, I ain't paying. I ain't paying for him. So if you still like that, if you could reverse the roles and be cool with it, cool. But if you feel a certain way, then everything is good. Just embrace and be a star in your role in the relationship and he'll do the same. And that's how things work. Stop trying to change it up.

[A]

Okay? Y' all heard the Mr. Paul Pierce. That's the hot lie. The truth, okay, Never tell a lie.

[C]

Some relationship advice. Make sure y' all tune in to Truth After Dark. Be sure to send in more of your questions. What you think we should talk about? Follow us on all the social media platforms, YouTube. Make sure you subscribe, like, because that really helps us out. Follow us on Instagram. We love y'. All. Happy New Year. Bazaar's amazing. What you got for us?

[A]

That's it. Thank you guys for joining. We love y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

Make sure you guys are subscribing, liking, commenting, sharing. All of that helps.

[C]

Yeah, we got some new stuff coming too, so make sure y' all tune in. All right? More fan interaction, live shows coming, so make sure y' all stay. Follow us and stay up on what we got coming.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Peace. This is to taking over the game. All right, everybody, welcome to Truth After Dark.

[A]

Do you think that men or women are more toxic?

[B]

This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name.

[C]

Part of the way through the valley.

[A]

Of despair is realizing this has happened. And you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward.

[B]

Our two part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.