
Loading summary
A
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
B
The clock's running out on December deal drops at Lowe's. But there's still time to wrap up something they'll love. Shop great gifts under $50 like the Dewalt Elite Series 100 piece bit set. Plus if you order by 2pm, you get same day delivery by 8pm Shop December deal drops while you can. Lowe's. We help you save.
A
Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first.
There the last one.
Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.
B
Running a business is hard enough. Don't make it harder with a dozen apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting. That's software overload. Odoo is the all in one platform that replaces them all. CRM, accounting, inventory, E Commerce, hr. Fully integrated, easy to use, and built to grow with your business. Thousands have already made the switch. Not you. Try Odoo for free@o-o o.com. that's odoo.com you know what I think we need to start doing?
A
What?
B
Athletes, rappers, celebrities.
A
Why do I feel like you're gonna say the Vs right now?
B
No, for real.
A
What? Go.
B
You need to stop getting with these girls that's waiting at the front of the line at the club. Get you one of these ghetto girls. I'm telling you, you need to go to the ghetto and get one.
This is the taking over the game.
All right, everybody. Welcome to Truth After Dark.
A
Do you think that men or women are more toxic?
This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. It is the holiday season, the best time of the year for sports. Bowl games, basketball matchups, playoff pushes. It is all happening at once. And while you and I are out here making decisions every day, what gifts to buy, what to eat, which game to watch, there is one place where feels so good to be, right? And that's Prize Picks, baby.
B
Yeah. The first time I tried Prize Picks for basketball, I was hooked. It was available in 45 states, including California, Texas, Florida and Georgia. I jumped and made a lineup and suddenly watching the games got way more excited.
A
I know that feeling. I started picking more on Jason Tatum's points and just watching those players projections hit made the games feel so, so good. Like I felt alive. Assist threes, total points. More, more and more, baby. Get into that. And the best part, my friends didn't even know who to watch in the game. Now they're texting me every week asking who I'm taking more or less on. How about that? Prize picks just makes watching basketball more hype for everyone. Okay.
B
Prize picks is unique because you could pick more or less on all the stats you care about. Points, rebounds, assists, three pointers, even turnovers. I love that you could track all the way players impact the game.
A
And my favorite part, stacks. You can pick the same player up to three times in one lineup. So if you're confident about Steph Curry, you can take more on points, three pointers and assist all in one lineup.
B
Join millions of users and sign up for America's number one fantasy sports app.
A
Download the prize pick app today and use code TAD to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code TAD to get $50in lineups after you play your first$5 lineup. Prize picks, baby. Okay. And it feels so good to be right. I love being right. Hello, beautiful people. Welcome to another episode of the Truth After Dark. I'm your host, Azar Faraday.
B
And I'm the truth, Paul A. Pierce.
A
Okay.
B
The A stands for Anthony.
A
You feeling good tonight? You got the feet out. You got the ring on, honey, you got feeling relaxed.
B
It's after dark.
A
You're relaxed. You're after dark.
B
I love it.
A
I love it. Okay. You have the ring on. I've never seen that.
B
Yeah, I never brought this. This song.
A
Okay.
B
My ring, I gotten. They gave it to me at an exhibition game in China.
A
Okay. Crack.
B
It's not the championship ring, but it looks nice. So I wore it.
A
It is nice. It's very nice. So today we have a very special episode because we are going to actually be talking about all of our fan topics and questions that they have submitted. So I'm super excited because everything you'll hear today is from a fan. So if you submitted a question, then listen for it on this episode because we might be answering your question tonight. So we'll get right. We'll get started. So one of the first questions that someone asked was why rappers, athletes and celebrities recycle the same women. And I do see that a lot. I notice, like, the same women are the same women that be getting dated all the time. And it's like, I wonder why.
B
I'll tell you this. I think they recycle the same women because they.
Are all like in the same circle. Cause, like, think about this. Most rappers, athletes, and celebs try to date, like the most beautiful women who are always in the same spots that they are in.
A
Right.
B
You know what I'm saying? And Then, like, you see an athlete or celebrity or a rapper, he walk into the club, she gonna be pushing this in her position, in her to be right there. Oh, okay. He be right there. Her and her girls. And then if you notice that the beautiful girls, they always become friends with other beautiful girls. So they call themselves. Let me give me a crew. So then if they got a crew, like two or three girls, say a celebrity walking to the club, he see them like, hey, y', all, come with me. Come sit in my section. They always positioning in they selves, and then they be like, you know, what's up? What's up? And then, you know, it just. It's like every city is like that. The girls. And then most of the time, these girls that be with the other beautiful girls, they not they friends, like, but they really become friends with them just for that reason. Yeah, they be like, I'm gonna get me some cool. I'm gimme a bag crew so, you know, we can get at these tables. Girl, we gonna go to la, Vegas, New York, and I'm gonna snatch me at one of these ballers. Cause we gonna get in and, you know, and it's over there. It's never ending. They in every city. And then sometimes these cats don't even know this is. What's his name? X or this is that. But then when they find out, it's like, I ain't tripping. You know what I'm saying?
A
Yeah. It's like how Kanye or like, whoever. Like, rappers always talk about how they want a woman that's not all touched or been with all these men. But I feel like, well, Kanye now is with somebody who probably nobody touched. But I still feel like you men get with these same women that position themselves to meet them because they're rich and famous, and then they're upset and they're complaining about women, and it's like, well, you're not meeting a woman that cares about you. They're literally positioning themselves to meet you, hanging out with women to meet you, going to the club to meet you. Not because of your personality, not because they like who you are as a person. No, they're gonna catch the first person. Yeah. That they get. And then they be on the Internet and all these people complaining. And she did. And she was lying. She did. She was. And it's like, why do you think that you're not meeting women of quality and substance? Not to say none of those women are, because some might be, but a lot of them just want you for X, Y, and Z. And to give a name for themselves, too. That's why they be blasting men and doing this, because you want a name for yourself and you want to create that, that, that name. So I just say, you know, men, they have to try to branch out and figure some other shit out because the same women recycling that are ran through is getting played.
B
No, but the. They look at this generation and even in past generations, they look at it as a flex. Yeah, they look at it like, oh, this is. What's the name? X Man, she mine now. So say a rapper got your ex. She gonna rap about it to that athlete. He gonna post it. Oh, I snatched your. You know.
A
But if you can snatch, how you get them is how you lose them. If you snatch someone up, someone else can snatch her up too. Once you fall off, once something happens, she's on to the next. It's just period.
B
But now I'm. I'm up. Now I'm up. I'm up one. You know what I'm saying? I'm up one. And don't let it be like a ops. Like, oh, cats be like, oh, that's the ops, X. Let me go. Let me, you know, let me see what's up.
A
You know what J. Cole says, Shout out to the LA women Shout out to the LA hoes. Real men can tell the difference. Shout out to that nose Real people recognize real. That's all I'm gonna say about that. And I feel like that's why we're in a gender war. And this is actually the next question that people are asking. What is up with the gender wars between men and women? And where do you think that this is stemming from? Like, every. A lot of people were talking about this in the comments when we asked about what we should speak on.
B
Yeah, I think just the gender wars. We're fighting for like a median ground because it's like, you know, we have these topics too, about who's the. Who's the prize or who's, you know, who. Who gets what and who gets this. And I'm not.
Wording it right, but like, the gender war is like, about whose role is what. And it's getting to the point to where we, like.
Men are struggling. It's a power struggle because you have more women who are doing their thing now and more masculine women. So now there's a clash between the masculine man and the masculine woman.
A
And there's way more feminine men, period. Point blank. Men are painting nails, wearing dresses, rappers, like, all these men are becoming very, extremely feminine.
B
Yes. Absolutely.
A
And I feel like. I think that the roles have reversed.
B
Yes.
A
And there's way more feminine men and way more masculine women. And I think that there will always be that power struggle when you have those roles reversed. Because that's not how it's meant to be, period. Point.
B
Well, the key for a masculine man is to find a feminine woman. And, you know, it works that way. Yeah, those two work. And then for the feminine man to find a masculine woman, because, you know, I've friends that, you know, I know a man that just let his woman run everything. And I was like, oh, yeah, she wear the draws in this one. I see. Who wear the pants in this relationship. But that's what works. He needs that. He needs that structure from her.
A
Yeah.
B
And it's like, damn. And as a man like myself who watches that, and I didn't understand it at first because I was like, man, stop letting her run over you. And I'm like, man, whatever. You know, this is what it is. You know, she says, I can't go there. I can't. I'm like, damn, I gotta be in my room when she calls. When we're on the road, I'm like, dawg, don't you make the money? Don't you. Don't you run the household? Damn. Like, what? Like, come on, dawg. But that's what worked and kept them together. But then I just never get it, because I never saw that growing up or, you know, men was always taught to be the man.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, and it was just like, damn, you know, so, you know. But it is what it is. And like you said, we're living in a times where more men have a lot of feminine tendencies and a lot of femininity that need a masculine woman. And there's nothing wrong with that.
A
But I want to be clear because I feel like people also conflate the two where they're like, if a man is vulnerable, he's feminine. And I don't agree with that. Like. Or if a man can speak on things emotionally, then he's feminine. Like, they have so much like, oh, if a man isn't doing hookah.
That.
B
No longer exists like it used to. Well, no, because more men show their feelings than everything.
A
No, no, no.
B
Like, you said it. You said it like, there's more feminine.
A
I have said that, but I'm saying that there's a lot of women who say, still on the Internet every day, oh, if he's smoking hookah, he's. He's fat, sassy. If he's put his mouth on a hookah and sucking it. That's a sassy man. If he's drinking this, he's sassy. Right? That's what I'm trying to.
B
My point is, I don't care what nobody say you.
A
But what I'm saying is there's a lot of people on the Internet that are conflating what's sassy and what's a man. And it's like, you can't. And I feel like it's the same thing with women. I feel like women who are more independent or are working and doing things and trying to, like, be a boss in this world, they're like, oh, you're masculine. But it's not true. Like, there's a lot of dynamics and aspects to women and men that people are just labeling these days so loosely. And it's like, you don't know this person and how they are in their intimate relationship. So I think we just. For the gender war. Do you feel like you're a part of the problem with the gender war, with your platform and what you say?
B
Sometimes, you know, I say some things. Yeah. Like, I admit, like, maybe I do say some things.
That come across like, hey, but like, I love.
The old school ways. Yeah, that's because that's where I come from. And you're older and I'm older, and so things have changed, and I have to start adjusting to, like, how things are and how women are talked to and treated and the things that are said.
And, you know, and I understand that.
Am I gonna shy away of my beliefs? Not completely, but I will bend, you know, I will bend them and I'll make adjustments. But, you know, I know I've come on this platform and kind of offended women, but, like, overall, when you look at the big picture of it, this is, like, not.
Me speaking all the time. This is me kind of like, speaking for the men that I hear this stuff from. You know what I'm saying? And that's like, these are like the guys who talk like this that I sometimes be around. And so, like, when I call an older woman cook, I'm hearing it, you know, I'm hearing it from these men. I'm like, they constantly saying it, so I'm like, damn, is it a belief? Is it really that you know what I'm saying? And you kind of, like, sometimes are a product of your environment.
A
So I feel like, though, too, it holds weight if it's coming from you versus maybe all these other people. You're creating a voice for them, and you're creating a platform for them. So I would say you could correct them instead of condone what they're saying.
B
Well, it's not all negativity, but, you know, sometimes I say things that men want to say but don't say.
A
Yeah, I can agree with that.
B
You know what I'm saying? They feel how I feel, but don't know how to express it. And so what they'll do, they'll play it in front of their women. I actually heard guys like, I have to play this for my girl. I don't know how to. So I had her listen to it. P. And, you know, that's what, you know, I'm trying to give men.
The men who are afraid or who. Men who are just kind of like.
Not as outspoken as I am, a voice to, like, hey, be a man. Chest up, chin out, bro.
A
So you think that includes you telling men to.
A lot of things that you say, like example. Like example, like cheat on your girl.
B
I don't believe that.
A
So I'm playing this in front of my girl. Cause I cheated on her. Paul Pierce is saying, cheat on your girl to prove if you love him. I'm playing this for my girl because she's older and I want to make her feel away. Oh, you're cooked. Or you're, oh, past 30. What is that? How is that positive?
B
For me, that's not positive. And it's not good advice to deliberately cheat on your girl. It's like some men that I've been around that found out if their women really love them, stuck around through that, and that's where that kind of came from. It wasn't me giving those instructions, but it was like, there's different ways to find out if your woman loves you, you know, especially. And this is. This is, like, for men more in my position, I think, because we absolutely deal with fakeness and women that chase the money and chase the fame and chase the clout, and it's like, damn, all right. You chasing something that's, like, dirty, like. And we know it too, but we are dumb as men.
Hold on. We're dumb. We're like. We're dummies as men, because we're so visual. And we're like, oh, we like that. You don't know if you like that. You just looking at that. Oh, I'm a look at. You could look, I'mma marry her. You don't know that, dog. You just looking at her and her looks, and you see her, how she hold her cup once you like, man, you gonna get yourself in trouble with that. You know what I'm saying? And that's what we don't realize. And so, you know, as men, especially men of, like, high value or, you know, men in a kind of, like, leadership position or men in, like, celebrity type of role, it's like, how do you really know?
A
Can I ask you a question?
B
Yes, of course.
A
Do you believe in, like, intuition?
B
Do I believe in intuition? Yeah. I have a very strong intuition.
A
Okay. So having a strong intuition should definitely play a part in knowing if your woman loves you, right? Because I feel like for me, when I'm around somebody long enough, I can tell if they're genuine, and I can tell if they're fake. And I think you basically said that, you know, but you're dumb because you want the look, right?
B
Well, we like other things. Your qualities like, that a woman brings, like. Well, you know, it's a lot of guys in my position that know they're with girls that's in it for the money, right? But she does all the right things. And so you live with it.
A
You live with it. But, you know, so.
B
But, you know, in the back of your mind, you know, like, damn, you know what? She cool. You know, she doing all this and that and being nice. Da, da, da, you know, and you like that good feeling right now, right? But, you know, when shit turns left, man, she ain't gonna hold you down, right?
A
So that's more of a you problem than it is a woman problem.
B
But the men in that position also feel like, you know, they got the pick of the litter. So, like, once this wear off, I get one just like this. That's.
Like a lease.
A
Yeah, I know. This is not switching it out if you want. Or you can actually use your intuition and decide that you're gonna be with somebody that actually loves you instead of trying to do all these tests for someone who you already know doesn't even rock with you like that. I think that's the difference. I feel like people know and people decide to stay, and then they become jaded and hurt for the next person. And then what happens is you're the right person, but you become the wrong person because you've been hurt and jaded and lied to, and now your trust is broken, and the right woman might come in your life and you might mess that whole thing up because you are still living with all the past of all the women who did you dirty, and now you're projecting that onto this new person who's actually in it. For the love. So you're really causing harm to yourself by staying in things that no longer serve you and staying around people who are not in it for you. And I can imagine it's hard being someone who has all these things, but at the same time, it's like, you should use your intuition as a person.
B
This is what I will tell you. Men look for women that, like, they say, all right, Especially I'm talking for, like, the guys who are like, celebrities, because we brought that athletes, celebrities and rappers, like, you know, they looks for women that they can share memories with.
A
Okay?
B
Like. Cause it gets to the points, like, you fly your friends everywhere, your boys, and it's just like, damn, I want to share this with a woman. You know, you don't want to do this shit by yourself. You want to, like, damn, I want to have this experience with a woman, you know? You know, when I started getting older, I was like, man, I need to be able to share this. I want to go someplace, you know, travel the world and do something. And I need somebody. And even though he knows she in it for that, I just want somebody there to see it, to share it with. It was like, it was at that point.
A
That's sad.
B
Honestly. It is sad.
A
That's very sad.
B
It is sad.
A
It's very sad.
B
But you are in that position. It's sad. When you look at guys, think about this. You look at guys like Kevin Durant, who's, like, one of the most famous basketball player, one of the greatest basketball players that ever lived. And, you know, he's not married, no kids, but he, like, says, like, man, it's hard out here. Like, aha, Bahama. Like, trust a woman like that. Just, like, know who I am, know what I do, know what I can do for her and do all these things. And it's like, damn, how do you, like, settle down with somebody who is going to be loving you for who you are? And that skunk's like, all right, whatever. You know what? I'mma just do me, you know, I know a lot of athletes like that. Like, now we're in a generation where the athletes, they not. They not going no more. They like, man, I'll be single the rest of my life. I've spent my bread on me and my family, and I ain't even tripping off these hoes.
A
Yeah. What I will say is, I think even as a woman, that is for women who are genuine and actually want genuine love. I think that's why women like me even, like, I would rather be with someone who is not all of that and has that chip on their shoulder, you know? And it's just like a regular person who doesn't want to test you and see if you really love them.
B
Regular person.
A
You're saying celebrities, athletes. I'm not saying the celebrities aren't regular.
B
People, but I'm saying high value men too.
A
Whatever that means. I hate when people say high value men because it's just like, high value men, high value women. Someone who every. That's different for everyone. It's perspective. Perception is reality. What I look at as high value, you may not see it that way. So for me, someone that just has a normal life that isn't like, this person's trying to use me. I'm going to test everything about them. Like, where it's like, yo, like I'm. Why do I come into a relationship having to prove myself or prove I love you? I love you every second. When it's like, in reality, how is that fair for the counterpart? You know, like, you guys, as celebrities and athletes, choose to be with women who don't love you because you're lonely and you want to share memories. And you don't really value having that real partnership, it seems like. So it feels like maybe that is a good match. Because it's the same thing. If you do get a real woman that really rocks with you, then she has to be up against a test every day. Like, do you love me? Like, you know what I mean? So it just seems like maybe that's the cheat code. Maybe that is the cheat code.
B
You know what? I think we need to start doing athletes, rappers, celebrities.
A
Why do I feel like you're gonna say the Vs right now?
B
No, for real.
A
But go.
B
You need to stop getting with these girls that's waiting at the front of the line at the club. Get you one of these ghetto girls. I'm telling you, you need to go to the ghetto and get one. I'm trying to tell you, she is gon rock with you.
A
She gonna rob you.
B
She gonna mess with you. She gonna mess with you because of who you are. But she gonna be so appreciative. Cause she ain't been messing with all these other rappers and celebrities. Get you one of them decent girls from the hood. I'm talking about that's. She do everything. Cook, clean, do all that. She live in a one bedroom apartment with like five people with her mama still with her mama.
A
Of course you need.
B
And she sleep on the couch. Find you one like that. That's what you really need to do that one right there. Ain't gonna never leave you. And you can. Hey, you can make her, you can uplift her.
A
I'm crying, shoo.
B
I'm trying to tell you, you can uplift that one. It don't matter what race either. It ain't gotta be black. It could be any race. They them ones go shoot them. The ones that's gonna be man, find you one that's sleeping on the couch. If she ain't sleeping on the couch, then man, that ain't the one.
A
She ain't never gonna leave you. Cause she don't wanna go back to.
B
Sleeping on the couch. She don't wanna go back to that couch.
A
So that's the same scenario. You're creating another woman that's dependent on you for other.
B
That ain't that. No. She gonna show appreciate the ones that sleep on the couch is go and that's gonna hold her and they're gonna give you that double A baseball. Accountability.
A
Your advice is so out of pocket. Accountability.
B
And what's the other A.
A
Appreciation.
B
Appreciation, Right.
A
Anyway, so now moving on, another person wants to talk about.
What about the friends that you have who could never be single. Like they're hopping from relationship to relationship. They never are single. They never take time to heal. They never take time with themselves. Like, what do you think about that?
B
Well, I think those people have attachment issues.
A
Absolutely.
B
Yeah. They just like they are lost when somebody because they've been in long term relationships, two, three years plus and they used to somebody be in there and then when they don't have that, they jump something into. Jump into something real quick and they make bad decisions most of the time.
A
Do you feel like you have ever been like that?
B
Yeah.
A
Okay.
B
I've made bad decisions. Like I think you learn. I've been like that as well, you know, but the only way you get better is to make bad decisions.
A
Yeah. But also not just make bad decisions, but recognize your decisions and understand that everything you've been through is a learning lesson. So, you know, you gotta take that time for yourself. Until you take that time for yourself, you don't really know what you like and what you want and what you'll tolerate and what you wanna deal with, period. Because you're so used to being in a relationship that you don't know how to set boundaries or understand the things that you want. You know, like I did not and I did. I was one of those people when I was younger. And I've always was in like long relationships until I finally like, took time for myself, and once I took that time, it made me make better decisions about my partners.
B
This is what I would say for you men and women, when you are like that. This is what I will say. Don't stop looking for a relationship and stop looking for love, period. I swear, every girl I ever been with, I wasn't even looking for her.
A
Yeah.
B
It just smacked me in the face. And, you know, I always been a relationship guy and I was in a journey to where I was like, man, I want to be alone. I'm never going to get in a relationship ever again. And I'm never. I love my peace. And I like being sitting on the couch watching TV and nobody complaining about needing attention for this. And, you know, like, when I go pick up my remote, it's not where I put it because she done moved it. You know, you like, damn, that's feel good. That feel good. Like when somebody around that's moving your shit. Like, people hate that. But then it was just like, damn.
It smacks you in the face.
A
Yeah.
B
And every time you like, damn, I wasn't even intending on being with this chick. It was like, I wasn't even, like, looking for that shit. And then it just like, wow. Next thing you know, you like with somebody.
A
Yeah.
B
So, like, you know, when you have opportunity to heal, heal, do your shit. Go by yourself, go to restaurant, eat by yourself, go have a drink by yourself, go to the movies by yourself, travel by yourself. It's just a peace of mind. It helps you just, like, reset and look at the world different. And you know that you're like, you can exhale. That's a great feeling. And then when that one person comes in your house, you ain't even gonna be looking for it. It's gonna be like, right there.
A
So 100%. And they also say, like, if you go to the grocery store hungry, you'll pick anything. You'll make bad decisions. But if you're already satiated, and then you go, you'll get right for you. Satiated.
B
Okay, I learned a new word. I don't know what that means.
A
It means, like, you're not full and you're not hungry, you're satisfied.
B
Okay.
A
Yeah, like you're satisfied.
B
There you go. Give me a new word. Satiated.
A
Yeah. So when you are satiated and you go, you can't go looking for something when you're desperate. You're gonna pick anybody. First of all, you shouldn't be looking or you shouldn't be chasing, because chasing is the opposite of attraction. You should be attracting everything that comes to you.
B
Yeah.
A
So you have to get out of that space of, like, desperation.
B
Damn, that's. That's real. You gave me some good words. You gave me some.
A
Anyways, good advice. This is the Daily Fantasy segment brought to you by Price Picks, where you can win real cash by playing Daily Fantasy. Use code TAD and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first five. So today for our segment, you have to tell me what is your fantasy when it comes to a woman in a relationship or not just a woman that you're dealing with?
B
My fantasy? Well, my fantasy is more.
Foot rubs, more feeding me and less talk.
More, more and less.
A
I'm crying.
B
That's the fantasy right there. You know what I'm saying?
A
Do men just want women not to talk or just talk less? Cause that's what I hear men say all the time. They're just like, shut up. So you just don't want a woman to say nothing at this point?
B
No, just talk less.
A
Talk less. But what does that mean? Cause I think that I'm gonna.
B
And do more.
Simple.
A
We simple talk less and do more. Okay, that's crazy.
B
That's just like the prize pigs. Less and more.
A
Less and more. Okay, I heard that. I think for me, I would say my fantasy would be more communication. Less.
Less. Like, what's the word for people who hold shit in? Like, less holding stuff in, more communicating it and moving past it. That's what I feel because I feel like men, they have a problem with, like, holding it and holding it and holding it and then they're pissed off and then that it creates resentment when you could just tell someone little stuff like, hey, I hate when you do that. Okay, I didn't know that. You know, that's a big thing.
B
Yeah. Okay, so more of what? And less.
A
More communication. Less withdrawing communication. Less holding stuff in and building resentment. Yeah. Because in all my relationship, men don't do that. Yeah. That's a fantasy. I fantasize about having someone that's vulnerable and communicative. Yes. And women love that.
B
Yeah.
A
It doesn't have to be rubbing feet down, but if I'm going to do something like that, then more romance.
B
There we go.
A
The more romance. What is your candles. Okay. Like, sweet, thoughtful things. Candles, flowers. Like once a month, flowers. I don't think that's a lot to ask for. Like, little stuff that makes a woman feel, like, feminine and, like, happy. Like, oh, wow, you thought of me. You know what I mean? Just little stuff. It doesn't have to even include money. You know, just little stuff. I would think more romance is important in a relationship.
B
If a man was like, hey, I'm gonna give you.
So much money every two weeks, that ain't romance.
A
I think that's romance.
Romantic as well. Because you're taking care of me. I think. I think, yes. If a man is taking care of you and stuff like, that's romance. But even when I'm just talking about, like, little things of just, like, being thoughtful, and I think women should be that way, too. I don't think it's just a man. I think women should do little gifts and little thoughtful things. And I think men should do that too. And again, it doesn't have to involve money. It could just be like, I cooked for you and lit the candles up, or I ran you a bath and there's rose petals in there. I picked you a flower from outside.
B
Yeah.
A
Little stuff.
B
I think romance, true romance, is something that doesn't cost anything.
A
Exactly. I agree.
B
So, like, flowers cost.
A
You can go pick flowers.
B
Where?
A
Outside?
So what are you. What would you run out there?
B
I gotta spend some gas money.
A
So. So what about, like, running a bath.
B
That doesn't cost money?
A
Taking someone off the bath. Oiling them down.
B
Yes.
A
Massaging them.
B
I gotta buy the oil.
A
Putting. So don't have oil. Then just rub them down.
B
Spit.
A
Spit on them. Spit on them. And then get some. Put on a favorite movie. Like, little cute stuff. Just having, like.
B
But I gotta have a subscription to something.
A
Well, if you don't have, like, every. You have a subscription. People have a subscription. That's not. Nothing to do with nothing. You're not getting the subscription.
B
I'll tell you.
A
Tell me.
B
Doesn't cost money. That's romantic because everything you're doing.
A
That's what I'm saying.
B
Everything you talking about is saying, okay. Costs something at some point.
A
Okay, you tell me.
B
So, like, head rubs.
A
Okay.
B
Back rubs, scratches. You know what I'm saying? Like, say if I painted, like, painted your fingernails. Because girls always gonna have fingernail polish.
A
Always painting your fingernails is crazy whatnot. That's not. I don't rock with that because you. For me, I go to a nail artist to get my.
B
You about to get your nails done tomorrow. He was like, let me try to do it. And y' all just sitting there on the.
A
Okay. I think that's sitting next to the fire. Okay. That costs money. What kind of man are you to have a fireplace? You have to have a house and a fireplace. You already got the Subscription for the movie then. So don't try to run me. You already have a oil or a lotion if you're not putting on lotion as a black man already. Or oil.
B
I don't wear lotion.
A
You wear oils or something, for sure. I'm sure you do.
B
I wear a coconut.
A
Yeah, so don't try it. You can do. You can do things without money. And I think, like, rubbing someone down is a daily thing. Like, in a relationship, I'm rubbing my person down every day that I see him. So I don't know that that's romance. I think it is. It's nice, it's intimate. It's romance. But it's like something that I'm daily going to be doing around my thoughtful words. Yeah, I think thoughtful words are nice.
B
There we go.
A
But I think with men, sometimes, like, y' all want us to talk less. So sometimes, like, as a woman, you'll say all these things, thoughtful, and a man will just be like, cool, Thumbs up. Great. Like, you be like, whatever. Women say more of that. We need men to say more thoughtful things. Like, if a man was to come and just be like, babe, I love you. This, that, like, to a woman means so much. Because men don't do that often. So it's like little things. Like, showing your appreciation through words and communication for a woman is like, wow, he said that. That hits. So that doesn't cost a dime.
B
Okay, so anyways, free game for y'. All.
A
Free game. Okay. But anyways, thank you to our good friends at Prize Picks, America's number one sports picks app. Use code TAD and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first five. So another thing is, what do you think the difference is between having a trauma bond? Do you know what, like, a trauma bond is?
B
Tell me what a trauma bond is.
A
So trauma bonding is basically when you meet someone and you guys are both in it. Like, let's say you're in a really bad space and you meet someone else and they might have a lot of bad stuff going on or they're a negative person and you guys bond over that trauma. So you have this attachment based on all of your trauma, and it's this negative relationship, but it's not really real love. Right. So what do you. Have you been in a trauma bonded relationship?
B
No, I think trauma bonding, as you explain it, is like more of like.
Girls do that with each other all the time. First of all, they bond over each other trying. Y' all go out and sit, like, six of y' all going through the goddamn same things and just be like, telling men, like, how bad they are. And then now she meet a man that's going through the same thing he went through with their relationship. That's like. That's unhealthy.
A
Yeah, but relationships are like that too, where two people either bond with their trauma, or one person manipulates the other person based on their trauma.
B
Oh, yeah, men do that all the time. Men take advantage of the girl all the time.
A
That's traumatized.
B
Like, she traumatized. He gonna take her and be like, oh, yeah, we gonna do. Hey, hey.
A
Yeah, exactly. I for sure have been in a trauma bonded relationship before, and I feel like, you know, it was take advantage of you. Yeah.
B
But you was, like, kind of like in a.
A
Like, I was in a messed up state of mind. Yeah. And then I was definitely in a relationship where I felt like, you know, it was a trauma bond.
B
It was a relationship or a full relationship?
A
It was a full relationship. I don't have, like, a lot of hookups. It was a full relationship for years. And it was definitely trauma bonded. And as a relationship, I wasn't getting better. Sometimes you have to take inventory of a relationship, like, am I getting better or worse in this situation? And I gained all that weight. Not to say that that's his fault.
B
So the trauma bonding ended. Had you doing that.
A
I'm not gonna blame him. I always am gonna blame myself.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
It's never gonna be, but it was definitely a trauma bonding situation. He saw that I'm traumatized. He was like, oh. And he took advantage of that and really manipulated me. And it was bad how, you know.
B
That was his intent.
A
It might not have been his intention to do that, but I feel like it was based off of everything that went down. I can definitely know for sure.
B
Like, he could have liked you because you was.
A
No, he could have liked me. He for sure liked me.
B
That's your vibe. So, like, stop coming out here and using this Internet and social media to say, oh, that's trauma binding. That's love bombing.
A
Like, no, I know what you're saying about people misusing narcissistic, But I will say that I genuinely know that that was that situation. It was genuinely. And I'm not gonna sit on here and explain why, but I did therapy and did a lot of work. That situation was definitely that. And women and men deal with that situation. You can't just dismiss it just because people.
B
We come up with new terms every.
A
That's not a new term.
It's not A new term.
B
We talking about trauma bonding. I never heard of that growing up.
A
Yeah, because also I never heard of.
B
That in the last.
A
You know who did hear about that growing up? White people. That's because in the black and brown communities it was stigmatized to know anything about mental health, to talk about mental health, to talk about relationships.
B
Today you using all these big words, stigmatizing you on your A game.
A
Stigmatizing is not a big word, Paul.
B
All right. Anyways, Stigmatized.
A
Okay. So another thing is that someone wanted to know is why are having so young. Miami actually recently. I don't know if it's a recent post, but it resurfaced. She was talking about how she'll have a baby with a man if she got pregnant at any moment, but she won't marry him. And she's like, I don't get why people want to get married and not have a baby. So there's this whole idea that having a baby is a less commitment than marriage. And I completely disagree with that. I feel like having a baby is a huge, huge commitment. I could divorce you and not have a kid and never have to talk to you again. Yeah, it might be some stuff with like money. I get that a man has to deal with or whatever, but when it comes to a baby, that's the rest of your life that you dealing with that kid and that person, no matter what, you're always going to be connected to that person. That's my fear because I don't have a kid. And that's been one of my fears of like if I have a kid with this person, I have to look at this person for the rest of my life. I don't know that I want, but would I get married? Possibly. That's still a fear of mine. But yeah, because you could divorce someone and not have to.
B
Well, you don't know if you want to look at your kid the rest of the.
A
Not the kid, the man.
B
You don't have to.
A
You do have to have a. You have to look at that man and deal with that man.
B
No, you don't.
A
Why wouldn't you?
B
Because I never dealt with my father.
A
That's horrible. I know, but that's your dad.
B
We're not talking about your dad, but like it's not a have to things. Cause that's common.
A
Do you have to deal with. With the mother of your children like I choose to.
B
Yeah, because that's the man I am.
A
Right.
B
But there's so many cases to where these men and women don't Even allow it. Women don't even, like, I don't even want you to see your father. I'm moving, I'm moving away.
A
But I would never do that to my child.
B
That's you. That's you. You can't speak for just you. I can speak to what really happens. Like a lot. You know, it happens a lot.
A
But what I'm saying is if you're a decent person, you would not keep your child away from you.
B
That doesn't make you not a decent person.
A
Keeping your child away from the parent unless they're harming the kid. It's not.
B
It's just like it's selfish.
A
It's a very selfish decision.
B
Say that. Okay, well don't say they're a person or Jesus, just. Maybe it is selfish.
A
It's a very selfish decision.
B
But like, like the kid, like, you see how like, all right, I'm not with the guy, but this is the joy of my world. And based on how he treated me and how he was, I don't even want him to mess up this joy and this girl's gotta move away.
A
But that's not right.
B
We don't know what's right.
A
I know that your dad. If they want to be in your child's life and they're not gonna harm the child or they're not like domestically abusive or crazy, you should give them the opportunity to have a relationship with, with their father or their mother. I think that that's a very self reflecting position. He's toxic to him.
B
What if he's a criminal?
A
What if he gotta understand. What did I just say?
B
The circumstances that come into it to why women do that.
A
What did I just say?
B
What did you say?
A
I said unless there's circumstances that will harm the child.
B
Well, it doesn't mean. Because there's things doesn't mean you're gonna harm the child. Like you act like criminals harm childs, like harm kids. Like he might be doing other things, he's just a criminal, but he might. You know what I'm saying? You gotta understand, I've seen this, I've been around it like it's like. And women take these kids away from men and just be like, I loved. I just wanted a child and move away. Never. Like it happens.
A
All. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen. I'm saying that for me and my opinion on what I feel like is more of a commitment. I think having a child is more of a commitment to marriage. That is me now having a whole child that I raised that. I have to. People are saying that, oh, I'll have a baby by a man, but I won't marry a man. It's much. It's way more big a commitment to get married. I don't.
B
Marriage versus a kid is more stressful.
A
We're not talking about stressful. We're talking about a kid.
B
Well, that's. Well, the commitment makes it stressful. The commitment makes it stressful.
A
So you believe that having a kid is more. Is less of a commitment?
B
I didn't say that.
A
I'm asking you. That's the question that I'm asking you.
B
So babies versus a marriage commitment. No. So the baby commitment is for the rest of your life.
A
That's what I'm saying.
B
But that's more of a beautiful thing than when you get married. You're gonna have feelings up and down. You're gonna have resentment. That comes into play if y' all break up. There's like, most of the time, mothers and their kid are not like that.
So the baby makes more sense than the marriage.
A
Okay, that's your opinion.
B
Yeah, that's just my opinion.
A
And I think you have a. Your. Your everything you named about marriage was very, like, negative.
B
A marriage.
A
Yeah, you have a very negative perception of marriage.
B
The commitment to marriage is more stressful because you have ups and downs more so than.
A
And you don't believe that you have ups and downs raising a kid as a mother every day.
B
But, like, as a mother, as a father, like, you don't understand how much joy that a kid brings.
A
Yeah, I can believe that.
B
On bad days, like, when you're having a bad day, it reflects on the marriage. It doesn't. It don't reflect. It reflects more in the marriage than the kid, because the kid gonna make you smile more so than your partner. Your partner is just gonna be, like, over there, like, going through it with you.
A
That's sad. Okay, it's not sad.
B
It's just life.
A
No, I mean, I think that your view on things can be from maybe your experiences or whatever it is. But I will say that for me, I'm just thinking, like. And this is what the person was saying in the comments, like, babies are such a big deal. Like, I take raising a child so seriously. Like, and even just my nieces and my nephews that I helped raise and stuff like that. Like, I.
B
It's not the same thing. Trust me.
A
No, I know it's not the same as having a child, but I'm just.
B
Saying, like, you can't speak on my view on it. Because I'm speaking from a woman's point of view. Cause I've seen that.
A
How? You can't speak from a woman's point of view.
B
Yes, I can. Cause I've seen it. I've been.
A
Yeah, but you're not it. So you have to speak from a man's point of view.
B
No, I can speak on a woman's point of view when I've seen her. And I've seen it all the time around a kid.
A
Okay, that's fine at the end of the day. So that goes into dating people with kids. Do you feel like child support should change if. If one of the parents remarries? So let's say, like, you're paying someone child support and she remarries another man. Should that. Should your child support change?
B
Man, I don't even know. That's a good question. If she remarries, should your child support change?
I don't think men should be paying child support anyway.
A
Okay.
B
I think it should be like. It should be like.
Half the duties is more important than the child support. I think.
A
Okay, like, I agree. I agree with that.
B
You keep the child for a month, I get them for a month.
A
I agree.
B
When they're with you, you pay for what they need. When they with me, I pay for what they need.
A
I agree with that.
B
You know, I just think half the duty.
A
I agree with that.
B
And I don't think child support should be a thing.
A
I think child support is for men who are not in the child's life at all. So, like, and it's not by choice, like the woman taking the baby away. It's their choice. They don't want to be in the child's life for whatever reason. I think then they should pay child support because they're not supporting the kid financially. But I think if a dad or mother is, like, present and we're both getting the child. 50, 50. I don't get it.
B
Yeah, I don't understand. Like, if we have 50, 50 custody.
A
Yeah, I don't get that either.
B
And I got a pa.
A
I don't get that either.
B
Like, so I don't only have to pay for my time with the child, I have to pay for your time with the child. Like, it don't make sense to me.
A
It doesn't make sense to me either, if I'm being honest. I've always wondered that. I'm like, if you're available.
B
Stupidest thing ever. I'm thinking if I have half the time with them, I'll pay For my half of the time when I'm with that child. Food, clothing, all of that. Now it's your turn. Yeah, if that's what half custody is. See, I don't get it.
A
Yeah, well. And then Erica, actually, our friend Erica, she asked, what about dating people with kids who have bitter baby moms or baby daddies? Like, how do you feel about that? Or how do you navigate that?
B
Ask the question one more time.
A
Dealing with dating people and dealing with dating someone who has, like, kids and a bitter baby mom or bitter baby dad.
B
Yeah, I'm looking for a question.
A
I'm saying, like, how do you deal? How would you. I don't know.
B
Cause I don't have that issue.
A
No, I'm saying. But what would you give someone advice on? Like, how would you navigate that situation if you're dealing with someone who has, like, who is, I guess, maybe upset.
B
That you have another girl or another.
A
Guy or, like, implementing that person knowing that this person might be upset, you.
B
Know, Like, I think at the end of the day, like, you have to do and have conversation and say, hey, we're in this together.
A
Yeah.
B
We have to do this for our kid. We're raising them together. Like, I understand we're not together no more, but we have a kid together.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, it's toxic for them to see us arguing or me not seeing the kid. That's toxic. Like, let's do what's best for the kids. Like, we always. It's selfish when one of the other ones is bitter. They don't want to do stuff because the other one's bitter. And it's like, dude.
Lady, like, remember, the most important factor in all of this is the kids.
A
Yeah, for sure.
B
You ain't got to deal with each other. You know what? You ain't even got to get out the car here. Drop them off right here. Boom. I got it. Like, if you don't want to see my face. You know, a lot of you know what families do that got money. They have, like, a house.
To where that's where the kid and you and that kid stay. And they have their own house. So the father have a house. The mama got a house. When they see the kid. Father or something, they stay over here.
Some rich families that do that.
A
Oh, I see what you're saying. They have one house where the father goes over there when they're with the kids and the mother goes over there with the kids. Is that what it is?
B
Yeah, something like that.
A
I see what you're. So the kids don't have to move around. Is that what it is?
B
No, no, no, no, no. They have a house just for that. It's rich. Just some rich stuff.
A
No, but I'm curious now. For what?
B
That's when I spend my time with the kid at this house. Cause I have a girl.
A
Oh.
B
And I'm not with the kid full time, but I'll spend my time over here with the kid. To where I'm not. They do stuff like that. I've seen it.
A
That's crazy.
B
Then.
A
So. But when does the girl. When do you just always keep the girl over there? Do you never implement the girl with the kid?
B
Eventually, maybe.
A
Okay. That's interesting. Okay.
B
Yeah.
A
Anyway, so. Yeah. Thank you guys for joining another episode of the Truth After Dark. We appreciate you guys, and we appreciate you guys submitting questions that you want us to talk about in topics. Continue to tell us the things that you would like to hear from us and get more feedback, because we always are looking for that.
B
Yes, definitely. We have some stuff we wanted to go over, but we'll bring that to you next week.
A
Yeah. If we didn't answer your question, look out for it next week.
B
All right. Make sure you, like, subscribe, because that always helps us with the algorithm. You know what I'm saying? YouTube, Spotify, Apple.
Apple.
A
Yeah, all the platforms.
B
Make sure you check us out and give us a review. We appreciate that. Thank y'. All.
This is the taking over the game.
All right, everybody. Welcome to Truth After Dark.
A
Do you think that men or women are more toxic.
B
With Venmo Stash? A taco in one hand and ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking cash back. Nice. Get up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash on your favorite brands when you pay with your Venmo debit card. From takeout to ride shares, entertainment, and more, pick a bundle with your go tos and start earning cash back at those brands. Earn more cash when you do more with stash. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 cash back per month. See terms at Venmo Me Stashterms.
A
Amazon Five Star Theater presents real customer reviews, performed by Eva Longoria. Tonight's review, sports brief. Oh, boy. Where do I even start with these performance mesh boxer briefs. These boxer briefs are like a magician's trick. You know the one where you go, where did that rabbit come from? So if you're looking for underwear that not only performs well, but also gives your package the attention it deserves, then look no further. 5 stars Nickalicious shop the perfect gift this holiday season on Amazon.
Janice Torres here, and I'm Austin Hankwitz.
B
We host the podcast Mind the Business, Small Business Success Stories, produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Intuit QuickBooks.
A
We're back for season four to talk to some incredible small business owners.
B
The big thing about working at tech is that it's ever evolving, ever changing. Everyone's a rookie.
A
That's how fast the industry is changing.
B
So what I'm really excited about is.
A
To be part of that change.
B
So listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
A
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Date: December 8, 2025
Podcast: Club Shay Shay | iHeartPodcasts & Shay Shay Media
This "Truth After Dark" episode features hosts Azar Faraday and Paul Pierce (former NBA star) tackling burning fan-submitted questions around the social dynamics of dating among rappers, athletes, and celebrities. They explore why the same women seem to circulate in celebrity circles, dive into gender role clashes (the so-called "gender wars"), authenticity in romantic choices, the mythos of “ghetto girls,” attachment patterns, trauma bonding, and co-parenting—offering raw, sometimes controversial, and always unfiltered perspectives.
[05:21 – 09:12]
[09:37 – 14:57]
[14:16 – 16:53]
[16:57 – 22:14]
[24:36 – 26:31]
[26:36 – 29:18]
[31:05 – 36:41]
[37:20 – 41:00]
[41:05 – 47:00]
[47:24 – 51:04]
The episode is unfiltered, lively, and alternately humorous and serious. Paul’s old-school, sometimes controversial perspective is counterpointed by Azar’s modern, self-aware approach. The conversation is equal parts entertainment, cultural analysis, and unsolicited (sometimes contradictory) relationship advice. Listeners will find frank conversation about celebrity culture and modern dating, peppered with laughs, blunt admissions, and pointed challenges.
Ideal For:
Anyone interested in the realities of celebrity dating, modern relationship challenges, gender dynamics, or looking to hear strong opinions and unfiltered truths on love, sex, and co-parenting in today's world.