Tony Baker Discusses The Levels Of Cheating, Choosing Face Over Body, & Making Women Work For “The D.”

Summary

Club Shay Shay: Tony Baker Discusses The Levels Of Cheating, Choosing Face Over Body, & Making Women Work For “The D.”

Podcast: Club Shay Shay
Host: Shannon Sharpe (iHeartPodcasts and Shay Shay Media)
Guest: Tony Baker (Comedian)
Air Date: January 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Club Shay Shay features comedian Tony Baker joining Azar Faraday and Paul for a candid and humorous discussion on relationships, dating standards, double standards, marriage, cheating, and intimacy. Through laughs and personal stories, Tony and the hosts explore complex modern dating dynamics—from "levels of cheating" to whether women over 30 are really "cooked."

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Face vs. Body: What Matters Most?

Timestamp: 08:21 – 11:30

• Main Debate: Would you choose face or body for a long-term partner?

  • Tony Baker: “For me... the face is key. You got to look at that face, man! After the sex, the face is what's— that's gonna be platinum.” (08:41)
  • Tony explains he values face over body for longevity and lasting attraction, noting that bodies change faster over time.

• On the Risks of Makeup:

  • Both Paul and Tony share funny stories about shock at partners without makeup, emphasizing that heavy makeup can create surprises.

2. Making Women 'Work for the D'

Timestamp: 13:28 – 16:34

• Tony’s Perspective: He encourages men to “raise the property value of their penis” by being less easy and making women work a little for sex:
  • Tony Baker: “I like to settle into your personality, get to know you, and then just leave you anticipating... be a challenge for a woman. Because a lot of times, dudes ain’t even a challenge.” (13:56)
• He shares that he prefers connection over quick hookups and is comfortable being single if the right person isn’t there.

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3. Double Standards in Dating and Gender Roles

Timestamp: 17:35 – 23:27

• Should Women Propose, or Make the First Move?

  • Tony advocates for women being bolder in approaching men—but not necessarily proposing.
  • Paul pushes back, noting most men still prefer to “chase” and find overtly aggressive women off-putting.

• Who’s the ‘Prize’ in Relationships?

  • Paul: “If I believe, the men are the prize. That’s what I believe.” (19:46)
  • Tony Baker: “I think we both the prize...we’re a partnership.” (19:57)
  • Tony believes both partners bring value, and the “prize” mentality creates rocky dynamics.

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4. Marriage, Singlehood & Changing Social Contracts

Timestamp: 28:17 – 45:10

• Is Marriage for “Old People & Poor People”?

  • Paul argues that stable marriages nowadays are mostly about financial dependence—especially among past generations—while wealth or independence increases the likelihood of divorce.
    • Paul: “NBA players, 80–90% divorce rate...when you’re financially independent, you have the opportunity to be like, you know what, this ain’t working.” (31:42, 31:57)

• Singlehood Shaming & Weaponization

  • Azar highlights how being single and childless after 35 is socially judged, especially for women, though it can indicate healthier decision-making.
  • Tony backs her up, explaining that many people who stay single are simply avoiding unhappy relationships: “No, I got out of a bad relationship. ... I could see the signs clear.” (34:34)

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5. The Levels of Cheating & Double Standards

Timestamp: 62:30 – 76:58

• What Counts as Cheating?

  • Tony and the crew break down emotional and physical cheating, emphasizing nuance (“levels to cheating”).
  • Tony Baker: “There are levels... If they talking and flirting, I can get past. Once you get physical, though...” (72:36, 72:54)
  • Anything involving another man’s “dick coming out on your watch”—that’s a dealbreaker: “If that dick came out on your watch, I’m out.” (73:37)

• Lap Sitting & Public Disrespect

  • Paul asks if a woman sitting on another man’s lap is cheating. Tony and Azar agree it’s disrespectful/public embarrassment and thus a relationship-ender.

• Double Standards in Cheating

  • Tony jokes about the higher stigma if a woman cheats (“I could never unsee the cheat”), and how men often expect women to take them back—but can’t do the same.

Quote Highlight:

“Cheating is the cream of the crop on a non-negotiable... Everything else is negotiable.”
– Tony Baker (65:58)

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6. Marriage as a Business Decision

Timestamp: 46:03 – 58:59

• Both Tony and Paul agree that marriage includes both love and business facets, including protecting family, finances, and legal matters.

  • Tony Baker: “It’s a business for sure.” (48:19)

• Paul candidly admits marrying for practical (“business”) reasons partly for the family, not just pure romance.

7. Role Play and Sexual Fantasies

Timestamp: 49:07 – 55:02

• The crew lightens things up with a candid segment about sexual fantasies and role play.
  • Paul dreams up an FBI raider scenario.
  • Azar likes “stranger in the house” fantasy or being blindfolded/trusting her partner completely.
  • Discussion about flight fantasies, office scenarios, and how porn has become more direct over time. Laughter abounds about stumbling onto “good porn clips” on Twitter/X.

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8. Therapy, Vulnerability & Healing from Heartbreak

Timestamp: 58:44 – 61:52

• Azar asks about therapy for relationships; Tony believes in it, but Paul shares a disastrous therapy story where “uncoupling” was sprung on him.
• Tony emphasizes the importance of facing tough feelings and conflict honestly, and that it’s possible to outgrow negative relationship cycles by “doing the work.”

Quote Highlight:

“Nothing is gonna save your marriage but actually doing the work...communication, compromising, all that good stuff.”
– Tony Baker (58:35–58:42)

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9. Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On quick sex:
  “You can’t give me that... that quick… For me, if it’s the second hangout, that’d be too quick.”
  – Tony Baker (15:06)

• On aging and attraction:
  “Bodies change over time… they blow, they deflate, they inflate...The face don’t change that much though.”
  – Tony Baker (08:57)

• On makeup and surprises:
  “At the end of the night, they gonna take it off… seen a girl go from a 10 to a 3 in the morning.”
  – Paul (10:36)

• On gender roles:
  “If a woman calls you a bitch, that’s crazy. That’s deeply rooted disrespect.”
  – Tony Baker (70:05)

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Important Timestamps

| Time | Segment/Topic | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------| | 08:21 | Face vs. Body Debate | | 13:28 | Raising your D’s “property value” | | 17:35 | Should Women Propose/Be Aggressive? | | 28:17 | Tony Talks Past Marriage | | 31:42 | Financial Stability & Marriage | | 34:34 | Singlehood and Society’s Judgment | | 49:07 | Sexual Fantasies and Role Play | | 58:35 | Can Therapy Save a Relationship? | | 62:30 | The “Levels” of Cheating | | 73:37 | The Final Cheating Dealbreaker Line |

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Flow & Tone

• The discussion is open, unfiltered, and frequently humorous, with Tony’s laid-back and honest style balancing Azar’s directness and Paul’s playful provocations.
• The episode is packed with relatable stories, blunt opinions, and modern perspectives on love, masculinity, and commitment.

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For Further Information

• Tony Baker’s Shows: “Tony Baker and Friends” & “Ball Brothers Show,” monthly at Flappers (Burbank).
• Find Tony: @tonybakercomedy and tonybakercomedy.com for live dates.

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Summary:
This episode of Club Shay Shay, featuring Tony Baker, is a rich mosaic of comedic wisdom and real talk about love and relationships in the modern world. From analyzing levels of cheating and facing double standards to the value of being single or taking it slow, Tony and the hosts provide a must-listen (or read!) for anyone navigating today’s dating scene, with plenty of laughs and insight along the way.

Transcript

[Azar Faraday]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Paul]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Tony Baker]

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[Azar Faraday]

Paul had said another thing.

[Tony Baker]

That's all Paul had said.

[Paul]

Never say nothing.

[Tony Baker]

That's the name of the podcast. I don't know.

[Azar Faraday]

Paul had said.

[Tony Baker]

How deep into the lap is she sitting, though?

[Paul]

Right here. Right?

[Tony Baker]

Right. There's levels to the left.

[Azar Faraday]

Right.

[Paul]

There's levels to it.

[Tony Baker]

Deeper to the left.

[Azar Faraday]

Man's knee. It's still not in between his knees. Is that gonna be okay?

[Tony Baker]

I will say, right, that if a woman calls you a, that's crazy. That's deeply disrespect. Like, she don't respect you at all. At all. A man could call a woman a and still love that girl.

[Paul]

Exactly.

[Tony Baker]

There's levels to the cheek. It depends on how far it went. If the penis showed up at any.

[Azar Faraday]

Point in time, then it's done.

[Tony Baker]

If that dick came out on your watch, I'm out. I'm out. I'm in the streets. I'm out here. All right?

[Paul]

I'm free.

[Tony Baker]

Pornhub McGee, man. Free porn.

[Azar Faraday]

Do you know about the porn on Twitter on X we was talking about?

[Tony Baker]

I be seeing it sometime, but I'm rarely on there anymore.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

So I don't know how to get to it, though.

[Azar Faraday]

I don't know.

[Tony Baker]

I always end up stuck, stumbling upon it. I'm like, oh, that's crazy.

[Paul]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Tony Baker]

Thank you. That was a good intro. Made me feel good about my little self. I'd be embarrassed though when they be reading all stuff. I'll be like just say Tony man. But that was good. I appreciate that. Of course you got the cards too. Once you got the cards, the cards make it all official.

[Azar Faraday]

We professional over here. Yeah. But we're so excited to have you. I love your comedy. So does Paul. Like we're really into comedy and you just you always crack me up. And recently I saw that you reposted a clip of our show and Paul talking about how he prefers body over face or not prefer. But I asked him if he had to choose one.

[Tony Baker]

He said, choose one for the long term.

[Azar Faraday]

For the long term. And I was appalled. I'm like, damn, what are we waking up? And it's just, you know. But you had an opposing opinion, so I would love for you to talk about it.

[Tony Baker]

Oh, for sure. Like, for me, body. Body is.

[Paul]

Don't. Don't get me wrong.

[Tony Baker]

A beautiful body is just chef's kiss.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

But the face, if we talking long term.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

You gotta get up, you gotta have conversations, you gotta. The family photos and the Christmas sweaters where the body is tucked in. The face is what's. That's gonna be platinum.

[Paul]

That's. That sunshine.

[Tony Baker]

You gotta have a face. And then bodies change over time.

[Paul]

True change over time.

[Tony Baker]

They blow, they deflate, they inflate.

[Paul]

Face change over time.

[Tony Baker]

The face don't change that much though.

[Paul]

The face change over time. I didn't see any.

[Tony Baker]

Bodies can change in months. Faces take a long time to change.

[Azar Faraday]

What you're saying with the face change, is it just aging, you're saying?

[Paul]

Yeah, aging.

[Tony Baker]

And there's inevitable.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Until you start looking crazy and you did too much to your face.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

The face is key for me, though.

[Paul]

Damn.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. Because you got to look at that face, man.

[Paul]

You gotta.

[Tony Baker]

After the sex.

[Paul]

See, for me though, you gotta connect. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We've heard this. We've hardly seen it. Like, dude, like I said, I didn't seen them. And talked to the finest women around the world. That look terrible to me.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

When you start hearing them talk and.

[Tony Baker]

Oh, for sure.

[Paul]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Baker]

Your personality can change the whole aesthetic.

[Paul]

But you got an ugly girl with a dope ass personality. I know you'd have met a girl like that. She's like, she. It make her look better, don't it?

[Tony Baker]

It does, but sometimes it ain't enough. I'll still be like, man, she dope as hell. You want it? Nah, you come on.

[Paul]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Baker]

It depends, you know what I'm saying? On how ugly we talking. Cause the original setup, she was like. The face was tore up.

[Paul]

No, no. Like, you can work with like a 4, 5. Cause you could throw some, you know.

[Azar Faraday]

He's like, no, I can't. I can't do it.

[Tony Baker]

A 4, 5, 7 up, man.

[Azar Faraday]

Like 2, 3.

[Paul]

I'm like, damn.

[Azar Faraday]

2, 3 is crazy.

[Tony Baker]

2, 3 is wild.

[Paul]

4, 5, you can move that up to a 6, 7. With the right lighting and makeup and clothes.

[Tony Baker]

I don't want to lean on the makeup, though, man.

[Paul]

That's inevitable.

[Tony Baker]

And at the end of the night, they gonna take it off.

[Paul]

Yeah, man. I didn't see. I didn't see a girl for me go from a 10 to a 3 in the morning.

[Azar Faraday]

See, that's scary.

[Paul]

I can't.

[Azar Faraday]

I can't be doing that. I am scared of that.

[Paul]

I. I literally was like, nah. Whoa. I seen. Look, it was a girl I was dating. I tell you this. Look at this. I'm talking about. She. I thought she was the finest girl. And she's. I'm coming to pick her up. She's. This is like our second date.

[Tony Baker]

Okay.

[Paul]

She comes out the apartment, and I'm like, is that her? And I'm like, I'm in the car. So I'm like, oh, that's not her. So I don't even unlock my door. So I started looking more down the street.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

And then she knocked on the window. I was like, oh, yeah, that's her.

[Tony Baker]

Oh, snap.

[Paul]

And this was my first time seeing her without the makeup.

[Tony Baker]

That'd have been cold if you gave her money. Cause you thought she was homeless. Like, here you go.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm crying for the kids.

[Tony Baker]

That was me.

[Paul]

I mean, she was a whole different shade of color. Yeah, Like a whole nother shade.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. Cause you could put that makeup and do the different shades, I guess. Yeah.

[Paul]

Like, I was like, whoa. And to drive to Vegas. It was a drive to Vegas.

[Azar Faraday]

You on a second date drove with a woman to Vegas. That's diverse.

[Tony Baker]

With a new face.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, that. That's crazy.

[Tony Baker]

You had to get to know her.

[Azar Faraday]

Why would you even.

[Paul]

I'm trying to get to know her. This is a good drive. This is a good drive to get to know somebody.

[Tony Baker]

Right on the second.

[Azar Faraday]

No, that's horrible.

[Paul]

Yeah, I was going. We was. We was. I was meeting some friends too, though.

[Azar Faraday]

No, you don't do that.

[Tony Baker]

But that happened to me.

[Paul]

Let me tell you how cold I.

[Tony Baker]

Was with the face Swap. So there was this girl I used to work with, and, you know, she come to work made up.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

I was like. You know what I'm saying? And we had kissed one time at a party. And so, like, a few days later, I pull up just on the random stuff, and she came out the house with no makeup on. I was like, it looked. You know how in the alien movies when the alien is inside them already and they kind of pale out and get sweaty, they be like, you all right? They be like, oh, no. She had that vibe. And she came up to the car, and then she leaned in for the kiss. I dipped back. No, you didn't. I dipped back.

[Paul]

You dip back.

[Tony Baker]

I dip back, man.

[Azar Faraday]

Damn.

[Paul]

I wasn't ready.

[Azar Faraday]

The lips was.

[Paul]

It was. It was just.

[Azar Faraday]

I know. She was so hurt after that. I know that killed her whole ego.

[Tony Baker]

Because in the moment, I was just like, oh, I feel bad later.

[Paul]

I feel bad later.

[Azar Faraday]

That crush. I know you felt bad, but she's like, I can't risk it. What'd she say? She was like, I can't get a kiss.

[Tony Baker]

I think I played it off like somebody was in the car with me. My boy. Because I don't like kissing in front of people. I don't like kissing in front of people.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Drove off, man. She was still cute. I just sopped her up right there.

[Paul]

Wow.

[Azar Faraday]

So that reminds me of. On your page, you said that men need to raise their. Their property value of their penis.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

So what does that mean? Like, what does a woman have to do then? So you're denying women, like, no, you can't have it. You got to work for it, honey.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. Not purposely. It's not like I'm intentional with, like, you can't have this. But it's like, you know, dudes are easy most of the time.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

As soon as the woman's like, hey. And they'd be like, all right.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Like, for me, like, I like to settle into your personality, get to know you, and then just leave you anticipating. And one more. And, like, be a challenge for a woman. Because a lot of times, dudes ain't even a challenge for y'. All.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Especially, you know, fine women. They'd be like, I get them right now. You know what I'm saying? Like, with us, with women, you know, the majority of us, anyway, we got to work.

[Paul]

We gotta.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah, we gotta let you, you know, get to know us and, you know, put the personality in there and put the time in. Women out here. Just like, I'm gonna take them down tonight and then get. It might be like, fellas, man.

[Azar Faraday]

So you're telling women. So let's say you're meeting a woman and she's, like, in the bed with you, and you're like, damn, are we.

[Tony Baker]

Already in the bed?

[Paul]

Well, okay.

[Azar Faraday]

No, no, no. You got to earn my bed. No, let's just say you guys are dating. She's like, I want to come home with you tonight. And you're like, do you. Are you like. No, you.

[Tony Baker]

It depends on how long. How long we.

[Paul]

How long we talking?

[Azar Faraday]

It's like the second or the third date.

[Tony Baker]

Oh, no, man, you can't give me that.

[Azar Faraday]

Cause he's driving to Vegas on the second date with women staying in whole hotel.

[Paul]

No, no, you can'. That quick.

[Azar Faraday]

You can't get you that quick, huh?

[Paul]

The second, third.

[Tony Baker]

Oh, man.

[Paul]

No, no, it wasn't. I wasn't staying in the hotel room. Oh, my boy had a mansion out there.

[Tony Baker]

Oh, big time.

[Paul]

We was going to his house and, you know, figured out from there.

[Tony Baker]

Okay, okay.

[Paul]

Wasn't no. Like, tucked in the room. It was like, I could have been over here. She, you know, we didn't. I don't think we. I don't know.

[Azar Faraday]

He don't know.

[Tony Baker]

That's crazy. So for me. For me, like, you know, if it's. If it's like the second hangout, that'd be too quick because I remember one girl. I remember we finally, like, did something, and she had known me for a long time, and when I finally slid in, she was like, finally. And I was like, really? That's what she said on the slide in.

[Azar Faraday]

Interesting.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

That's crazy. I bet you that makes a woman, like, crazy. Like, why is it me? Like, what are you. Because men don't usually, like, make a woman wait. That's sounds crazy to even say mature, but it's mature.

[Tony Baker]

Easy, man.

[Azar Faraday]

That means you really trying to get to know, you know someone. You know, Game said something where he was like, I feel like it's not a good feeling when I sleep with women, that I don't have real intentions.

[Paul]

You know, I felt him on that, actually.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, it feels bad, and it's like a dark cloud over me, you know.

[Paul]

And it's at that age, too. Like, it's pointless. You know, you're not gonna be with a girl.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul]

Like, when you get to a certain age, you just like, man, this is. I know I'm gonna have that ain't gonna go nowhere. You already, like, as a man, you know this already.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

With a girl.

[Azar Faraday]

So does that mean.

[Paul]

Obviously, the older you get, you know.

[Azar Faraday]

If you want a girl, like, very soon on, like, if you can see a relationship with her.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, you.

[Paul]

You.

[Tony Baker]

When you get to know people and you, you know, you talking to them and spending time, and it's like, all right, I can see myself with her. You know what I'm saying? Later on down the line. Cause, like, when I get single, I'm comfortable single.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Like, you know, a lot of people panic when they sing. Like, I gotta have somebody. But, like, for me, I'll be like, no, I'm good.

[Paul]

I'm good.

[Tony Baker]

We can hang out every so often.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Like, you know, I'll go back in my cake. I'll be in the house.

[Paul]

Yeah, I'd be in the house right here.

[Tony Baker]

And so it's like, to get me to come out the house, you gotta.

[Azar Faraday]

Be a special rare. Yeah, you know, I'll come out every.

[Tony Baker]

Now and then and go right back in.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

And so, you know, some women get frustrated with that. They'd be like, yo, when we gonna hang out again? I'd be like, that's a good. Great question. Yeah, I'm crying, and I don't always have the answer. Like, I don't know.

[Paul]

But when I really.

[Tony Baker]

When I'm really intentional, though, I move different, and that's when I make the plans.

[Azar Faraday]

You said that you think women should be more aggressive. Like, they need to start getting at men more. Like, what's up?

[Tony Baker]

Oh, yeah, propose to us.

[Paul]

That's what I said.

[Tony Baker]

No, not necessarily proposing.

[Azar Faraday]

That's crazy.

[Tony Baker]

I just meant on the street.

[Azar Faraday]

I think that you think that women should propose to men. Thank you. And why? Please say why.

[Tony Baker]

No, because I just.

[Paul]

That's one.

[Tony Baker]

That's one tradition I think is cool, like, you know, for the man to propose to the woman. Yeah, but I was just saying women should holler on the streets just to make them a little bit more comfortable, you know, like, make them uncomfortable. Because women are often put in the spot of being uncomfortable.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Not feeling safe. You know what I'm saying? These dudes be aggressive and they uncomfortable, and, like, nobody's really there to help them. But, like, I say that for women to be like, let's see your dick print. And then a lot of. A lot of dudes be like, oh, shit. They kind of panic and scramble back. So they ease off the aggression. Because they'd be like, oh, this girl.

[Azar Faraday]

You know, she's all one.

[Tony Baker]

But some women be like, nah, that backfired when I tried it.

[Azar Faraday]

So, yeah, he was with it.

[Tony Baker]

It can.

[Azar Faraday]

It can. Because men might be like, yeah, here you go.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

You know what I mean? So.

[Tony Baker]

So I say that from a safety perspective. Like, you know, make the men uncomfortable. Cat call them when they walking down the street.

[Paul]

Yeah, right.

[Tony Baker]

And then cuss them out when they reject you.

[Paul]

These girls gotta be careful out here, though, Being too aggressive. A man don't really like a super. I like. I don't like a super aggressive girl.

[Tony Baker]

No.

[Paul]

Nah, that's like. It's like you make a girl come off too thirsty.

[Tony Baker]

Oh.

[Paul]

You know what I'm saying? So, like, if a girl like, what's up with you? Then I'm like, damn.

[Tony Baker]

Like, so she can't give you the casual what's up with you?

[Paul]

Like, like. Like. I think you gotta be passive aggressive. You a girl.

[Tony Baker]

Okay.

[Paul]

Like. Like. Like throw the bait out, but then kind of step back. Yeah, but like, when you too much. Like, like, damn. Poking. Poking the bear and everything, I'll be like, I'm good. Like, watch out, man.

[Tony Baker]

Like, damn. Cause you, like. You like to chase you. You ra.

[Paul]

Yeah, maybe that's it. I don't like a girl, and that scares me.

[Azar Faraday]

Don't you think a woman proposing to you is aggressive?

[Paul]

No, I don't think that's aggressive. Because the only reason she gonna propose is because we've been together, we're living together, and she's like, I'm ready.

[Tony Baker]

Like, she tired of shacking.

[Azar Faraday]

I think that that's. I've never.

[Paul]

All right, so listen to this.

[Tony Baker]

Men.

[Paul]

If I believe the men are the prize. I mean, that's what I believe.

[Tony Baker]

I think. I think. What do we believe when it comes to prizes? I think we both the prize.

[Azar Faraday]

I agree with that.

[Tony Baker]

I feel like one shouldn't be above the other. If we in a relationship. Cause we're a partnership. If we gonna be married, it's a partnership. So once you come in with that mindset of I'm over you or I'm better than you, then it's like you the prize, and I'm just on the side of the road. Those dynamics can get a little shaky further down the line.

[Paul]

Yeah, but it's never 50. 50.

[Azar Faraday]

But we're not talking about.

[Paul]

No, no. But the man. You want the man to be like, the dominant, though. A girl wants a leader, a woman wants a leader. Most women.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

Right. And so if you're a leader, it's like you're the queen, Right. And when you look at old medieval time movies, the king sits on the throne, right? And she kind of sit like a step down, like. But her throne. She got a throne, though.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

And so it ain't that I'm saying her duties go unnoticed or what her responsibilities are in it. But most of the time, the man is gonna. He has to bring more to the table than the woman. He has to.

[Tony Baker]

On the surface, you gotta think about what women do on the underneath or like, behind the scenes in terms of, like. Cause I feel like relationships, they ebb and flow in terms of just dynamics and roles and stuff like that, you know, we might be, you know, it might not be 50, 50. It might be 60, 60, 40, 70, 30, just depending on the zone. Like, if a man gets sick, you know, nobody holds you down better than a woman does. You know, they got you locked in. And so. And if you got a good woman, that's a partner, she's fiscally responsible. She got you making the right moves financially, even though you are the breadwinner. But she like, yo, you should invest in this, or what about this property? Or like, those behind the scene things can change the dynamic a little bit more. Even though you still the head.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, for sure.

[Tony Baker]

She's right there, you know, and then when you falter, you. You know, you might. If she's also working and then whatever you're doing falls back a little bit, she can pick up the slack and then those dynamics change. In a good, you know, relationship.

[Paul]

You talking about aliens and dinosaurs. Those don't exist.

[Azar Faraday]

I don't believe that.

[Tony Baker]

And then we can open up.

[Paul]

Man, when you open up to a.

[Tony Baker]

Woman, man, we all soft in the bed and shit laying there, you know, the vulnerable moments. That's if you got a good one, you know what I mean?

[Paul]

So hard now, because, like, women use your vulnerability against you.

[Azar Faraday]

Some do, some not all. You speak to all women, and it's not all women. Yeah, some women will hold that and actually take it into regard and actually move accordingly because of that, you know, like, it's an honor for a man to be able to tell you their vulnerabilities and be open and soft with you, Like. And like, a lot of women love that and love the opportunity to be able to hold that space for a man, you know, because men don't get those spaces too often, so you can't speak to all women.

[Tony Baker]

And men do the face throwing too, though. They be throwing stuff in women's faces too. You know what I'm saying? Like, when they. When they get heated.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

You know, dudes be like, that's why you. You know what I'm saying?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul]

You know, we'll show that.

[Tony Baker]

We'll throw that we not innocent, you know, in this. And so anytime you open up and get vulnerable with somebody, there's always that worry of, like, you gonna throw this in my face? And I feel like people on both sides can feel that, you know, but it's all about if you with the right person, that's hard, man.

[Paul]

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[Azar Faraday]

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[Tony Baker]

Yeah. Cause it's like, you know, there's a lot of people out here that will throw it in your face. You'd be like, that's why I ain't telling you.

[Paul]

You single right now.

[Tony Baker]

I'm loving on somebody right now. We ain't official.

[Paul]

Okay. Okay. Okay.

[Azar Faraday]

I love that. Okay. So you met someone that is. Took you out of your solo because you were like, I like to be alone solo, McGee.

[Tony Baker]

I was in the cave solo. Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

And then she was able to take you out of that space.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Tony Baker]

Cause I'd be like, no, I'm good on being single. Even when we first started talking, I was like, I'm in the streets.

[Paul]

All right?

[Tony Baker]

I'm out because I'm very vulnerable.

[Paul]

I mean, transparent.

[Tony Baker]

That's what I mean to say. I'm very transparent. And so I tell anybody, I'm like, I'm out here.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul]

Not like out here like that, but I'm.

[Tony Baker]

I'm talking, I'm flirting, I'm hanging out.

[Paul]

What's the age?

[Tony Baker]

I'd really be in the house, though, huh?

[Paul]

What's the age gap on this one? Four.

[Tony Baker]

Four years.

[Paul]

Okay.

[Tony Baker]

I'm four years older.

[Paul]

Okay.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

That's not bad.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. And that's part of the appeal. Yeah, that's part of the appeal. Like, yo, you. You know, we can relate to certain things together. And like, you know, even though I still tease her, I'll be like, yo, when you was, man, what you know about this? You was two when this came out.

[Paul]

I was.

[Tony Baker]

You know what I'm saying?

[Paul]

She right there. Yeah, she right there.

[Azar Faraday]

You was two. You don't know that? I was six. Yeah.

[Paul]

What you know about this?

[Tony Baker]

I was a grown man with a briefcase when you was born. I'm always doing that, but.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay. Did it hit you out of nowhere?

[Tony Baker]

It was very surprising. It was just like, it caught me by surprise. Just the communication, the flow, it was consistent. It was easy going. And she doesn't have an ounce of pressure on me. Cause sometimes people lead with pressure. They'd be like, yo, what we doing? I don't do this, I don't do that. You know, this, that, and the third. And just be like, hey, I'm just. I'm just trying to get to know you a little bit. You know what I'm saying? So the. The minute I start to feel pressured, I usually flee.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, you know, like an Aquarius.

[Tony Baker]

No, I'm a Taurus.

[Azar Faraday]

You're a Taurus?

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I can see that you like to be home all the time.

[Tony Baker]

I'll be in the house.

[Azar Faraday]

What month is that? You know, I originally thought you were a tourist. I promise. I swear to God. I know you don't believe me, but I knew I was like, he's a tourist.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah, a May tourist.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I can see that 100%.

[Tony Baker]

So I'm skittish, though. Like, if I feel like, you know, you trying to boss me around, it was too much pressure. I usually fall down, disappear.

[Paul]

Yeah, I'm out. I'm out, I'm out. Yeah, I'm feeling that. I feel like.

[Azar Faraday]

I feel like men feel that under pressure. They're like, I'm cool if it's pressure. I'm out.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. I remember when I first broke up with my ex girlfriend, I dipped my toes into, like, you know, flirting again. And maybe, you know, something. And then the girl was just putting too much pressure up already, and I was just like, hey, I. I don't know. You should know. You should know.

[Paul]

I'm like, man.

[Azar Faraday]

And how long was it at this time?

[Tony Baker]

It was like a few months after my breakup.

[Azar Faraday]

No, but how long were you and her talking before she started applying pressure?

[Tony Baker]

The pressure was pretty quick.

[Azar Faraday]

It was like, right away, even.

[Tony Baker]

Even for the link up. Even for the first initial meetup, it was pressure.

[Azar Faraday]

Oh, so she was applying that pressure from the channel.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. I was just like, oh, oh, oh. You know what I'm saying?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

No, that gave me pause though. I was just like, oh, yeah. You know.

[Azar Faraday]

So you've been married before, right?

[Tony Baker]

Yes.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Paul]

I've been married before too.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul]

Have you? Yes, I've been married.

[Tony Baker]

I never knew that about you.

[Paul]

Duh. It's a lot of things.

[Azar Faraday]

He's like, I don't see that for.

[Paul]

You know, I was like 14 years in.

[Tony Baker]

You got kids?

[Paul]

Yeah, I have four kids.

[Tony Baker]

Okay.

[Paul]

Yeah. All right. So I have a 17, 14, 12, and a four year old.

[Tony Baker]

Okay. Wow. All right.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Hey, I ain't know that about you though.

[Paul]

Yeah. Yeah, I was married.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. And you and your ex wife were together since college? Yeah, for a long time. How long, how many years were you guys together?

[Tony Baker]

So we, we met in 98. We got together like the beginning of 99. And we were together. We had, we had my first son and he was born January 2000. And then we had another son. He was born in 2001. Then we got married in 2003.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Tony Baker]

Cause we had a couple breakups in that time and then we got married and so we were married from 2003 to 2012. We got divorced.

[Azar Faraday]

Oh, wow.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. So even now we still cool. She remarried. His name is Tony as well. No way.

[Azar Faraday]

That's crazy.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Bald headed Tony. We got the same middle name. She got a tight man. I'm not lying.

[Azar Faraday]

The first and middle.

[Tony Baker]

First and middle name is the same, except he white.

[Azar Faraday]

Oh, he's white.

[Tony Baker]

But he looked like Jason Kidd white. So we was all like, you not mixed.

[Paul]

Right?

[Tony Baker]

Even she was fooled. She thought he was mixed. Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

So y' all are all cool. You're cool with him. I love when that can happen. When it's like we're all cool, you know, That's a good feeling. I'm sure. Do you ever think you'll remarry?

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay. Okay.

[Paul]

What do you think?

[Azar Faraday]

So Paul has a viral clip that says that marriage is for old people and poor people.

[Tony Baker]

Wow.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul]

Wow.

[Tony Baker]

You know what I'm saying?

[Azar Faraday]

He's like. You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Baker]

Hey, man, how old?

[Paul]

What's the old memory?

[Azar Faraday]

He was talking about like 70. 70.

[Tony Baker]

Dang. All right, well, 60.

[Paul]

All right, so. All right, so let me break it down. So the reason I even said this, because I'm seeing the people. Like that's not in that category, is just. It's divorce all the time. Like, because as men, like, if you were men, as a man, when you're successful, it's so hard to just be, like, married without the pressures and then you gone. And then traveling and doing all this to keep a. A steady marriage. And it's just like, damn all the successful marriages. It's like, you know, people who need each other financially, like, y'. All. Actually, that's how, like my grandma and grandpa, they needed each other. Finances to come together. And that's why back in the day, it was people having more kids. You. Like I come from, I have, like, five uncles and four aunties.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

You know what I'm saying? Because they needed each other and they, you know, they had their roles and they understood their gender role then. And now as we move into the new generation, it's not like that no more. You know, women are more independent and.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

You know, they're. They're more masculine to where it's just like. And now the divorce rate is out. It's. It don't even make sense. Especially. All right, so I'll tell you this. So NBA players, 80 to 90% divorce rate.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. That's crazy. That's the official.

[Paul]

Official.

[Azar Faraday]

That's an official.

[Paul]

That's an official statistic.

[Tony Baker]

I would bet you too, like, even actors and actresses in the same percentage, probably a little bit lower, but right.

[Paul]

After your career is over, I think.

[Tony Baker]

Because when you're financially independent or stable, whatever, you have the opportunity to be like, you know what? This ain't working. I'm gonna give me an apartment downtown. You could. You could just dip off.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

You know what I'm saying? And so a lot of people stay together because of the financial situation. Exactly.

[Paul]

That's what I said.

[Tony Baker]

And so it is. It is harder. That's why you see so many rich people splitting up. Because they'd be like, you know what?

[Paul]

It's over. I already got a spot on the.

[Tony Baker]

Other side of the town. I already put the down payment down. So when you got people that are financially dependent on each. Dependent on each other, they gonna hang in there.

[Paul]

They gonna hang in there.

[Tony Baker]

And then to me, that. It doesn't make the people that stayed together better because still be. Even though they've been together. That's why I don't give you automatic. I don't give you an automatic metal just because you've been together for 30, 40 years. That could be a trash.

[Paul]

Exactly. They don't like each other. I know people. They didn't like each other for the last 10 years.

[Tony Baker]

Exactly.

[Paul]

But they can't move.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. Because a lot of people look down on single people to be like, what?

[Azar Faraday]

You say this. Exactly.

[Tony Baker]

What you know about it.

[Azar Faraday]

Exactly. Being single is weaponized, especially as a woman. It's like, why are you single? With you, you're bad fruit. Like, something is wrong. When in reality it's like, like, well, maybe I'm single because I actually make good choices. I'm not deciding to be somewhere where I'm happy, you know, Because I know marriages that are 50 years in and you're super miserable, but people will put that on a pedestal and they'll still talk down to the single person and think they made a better decision for sure. So you made a decision to waste your years miserable with somebody when you get older. That's really tough because I've seen it firsthand when people are, like, almost 80 and they're still married and they're, like, not getting along. Like, that's hard because you don't have many options at that point.

[Paul]

No.

[Azar Faraday]

So, you know, like, I feel like being single can actually be. It doesn't have to be weaponized. Like, I can actually be making the right decision, you know? And we talk about, like, people saying, like Paul was saying, like, if you're over 40 or if you're over 35 and you don't have any kids or you've never been married, like you're. You're desperate or there's something wrong with you. Right.

[Tony Baker]

Automatically, yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

And so, you know, I'm 34 and I don't have any children. But, you know, that's. That's a choice that I've made. And I don't. I don't feel like anyone's better than me because they do have children. You know, like, I. I can come to a relationship without any baggage, you know, and not have to deal with a baby daddy or whatever the situation is. Because obviously I'm, you know, I wasn't with any of those people, so I wouldn't have been in a good situation. I mean, not to say a kid is a blessing, but for sure, you.

[Tony Baker]

Know, I know exactly.

[Azar Faraday]

You know what I mean? Like, so I feel like we can't weaponize those people.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. Automatically they'd be like, man, you can't find nobody. You wasn't good enough. And I was like, no, I got out of a bad relationship. 1. And then so my barriers were up with everybody else. I could see the signs clear.

[Azar Faraday]

Work for me.

[Tony Baker]

So I ain't even go further with that person. And A lot of people just overlook that and be like, man, you can't get nobody.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, that's real. This is the more or less segment brought to you by Prize Picks where you can win real cash by picking just more or less on your favorite players. Use code TAD and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. So we talked about Christy, Sarah and Desmond Scott and now Desmond has been caught up on tmz. Make it out full blown with a girl right after this divorce happened. And do you feel like men use women as a coping mechanism more than women do? Because I feel like I'm less likely to get with a man right after I just broke up with someone because that's just going to make me feel worse and it's gonna make me compare him to the person I was just with.

[Paul]

Damn, that's a great question. I think men do use that to cope because it's like when you get a, when you go through a breakup, especially a long time love and like men won't show they sadness or be in a funk. They'll just be like using other women to cope and they'll like be just probably gassing them and, and making them feel like you are gonna be the one next and all of this. But really this is really like a band aid to try to help heal your wounds.

[Azar Faraday]

Do you think it's more likely for men to do that?

[Paul]

It's more likely for men than women.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, for sure.

[Paul]

You know, women start going toward the boy toy thing. You know, they not looking for nothing serious after a long relationship. They start getting, they start, especially if it's an older woman, she start getting with younger dudes and you know, start feeling. Just trying to get their confidence back and all this rada, rada, rada. But. And they just boy toys. That's what I've seen.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul]

You know, from just different relationships how you start seeing how somebody I know ex teammates who divorced or my friends who divorce and yeah, I see the girl out with a younger dude. You're like, oh, okay, damn. Okay. And you know women, I think women use men to cope too though.

[Azar Faraday]

You know they can. But I think it's more say emotional attachment like they'll use a man to venture. I think we're more likely to have an emotional affair and emotional attachment than we are physical.

[Paul]

You know what though? Before you say that, I just thought about this. Hold on, hold that thought. When a woman break up, we talked about this. They already got a dude in their back pocket.

[Azar Faraday]

I think that that's not always true.

[Paul]

Cause a breakup don't happen overnight. The breakup may take two years. Y' all just ain't been fucking with each other for a minute. You don't just divorce overnight. It ain't like cheated divorce. No, dude, you work on it. You might see therapists. You get back into the groove and then you just figure out, this ain't gonna work. It might take another year after that. You know what I'm saying? It ain't just like, oh, well, women.

[Azar Faraday]

Are more likely to check out way before the relationship is over. Like, we're already way checked out of the relationship months before. It doesn't mean we have someone else. It just means like, I'm checked out. And I'm mentally preparing myself to exit this relationship. I'm talking to my friends on how I'm going to exit, how I'm so dumb, but I'm hurt. And it's hard. But I always say that women hurt first. Men hurt worse. Women, we be crying right away. Men be on the Internet with different broads, kissing and making out, even though they're, they're. They are hurting, but it's a woman. We look like, oh, you good? And then by the time a man circles the block because he realizes, damn, I've really missed out on something we already done. They missed that window. There's a three week window where man be so, like, doing whatever they doing.

[Paul]

No, not three weeks, even.

[Azar Faraday]

A month. A month, three weeks, a month, two months. That window. Men be on their own time doing whatever. Woman is crying, but guess what she's doing? Talking to her homegirls, crying, healing, getting better, getting, getting back into her routine. Then by two months, she's ready to date. And by then he's trying to knock back on her door. And then, yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, that's been my story. And guess what? I would never forget. I was so heartbroken and so hurt. And I remember everyone was telling me, like, I saw your ex out. He was with this, that person, this person. He's hitting it. And I'm over here, depressed, crying, sitting in the house, and I've healed. And I remember the night that my new dude told me he loved me. My ex started blowing me every day, wanted me back. Baby. Man, I'm like, baby, you don't, you don't miss the window. You might have had a chance. It was. I was crying and I was sad and lonely, but you don't miss that window. You done hit it, got all your shit out. Like, man be maybe missing that window for real. And then as soon as they realize and appreciate, we're gone. We're gone.

[Paul]

I ain't never circled the block.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, well, you're different then. But a lot of men do that.

[Paul]

Once I broke.

[Azar Faraday]

I never been with a man who didn't circle the block.

[Paul]

Once I broke, it was over. I understood the overness. I just. Maybe I didn't have the patience to get back to the level of where you thought you was at at the peak of the. The. The love. And you saw the long road ahead, and I was just like, you know what? Maybe it was meant to be.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul]

Maybe it was a lesson learned.

[Azar Faraday]

I think so too. I think it's always a lesson learned. And I think that no experience is a waste of time because it gets you closer to where you want to be, period. So I think that more women and men should take the time out after relationships to heal, to dig into themselves, to figure out what is going on and where you, you know, might have went wrong, because it's easy to vilify the. And make them the bad guy.

[Paul]

I just want men to know this before you decide to circle back. Just know in America, there are way more women than men, and that's a fact. So if that one didn't work out, you got. The odds are in your favor to get something new and be happy trifling.

[Azar Faraday]

It don't have to be. Listen, I. I never circle the block, and I'mma always get me something new. But you always go get you something if it's over. Yeah. If I'm done with someone. I told you, I've been in, like, three very serious relationships.

[Paul]

What does that mean? Very. So the other ones wasn't serious?

[Azar Faraday]

No, no, no. I haven't been in any of the relationships other than, like, I've been in three long relationships.

[Paul]

How long are the years?

[Azar Faraday]

Five years one, five years another, and like three years the other one.

[Paul]

Oh, okay.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul]

All right.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. Well, thank you to our good friends at prize Picks, America's number one sports pick app, use code TAD and get $50 instantly in lineups. When you play your first $5, do you feel like. So Paul, he has this thing where he says women over 30 are cooked.

[Tony Baker]

Wow.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, 30. And I'm. I'm 34, so I. Yeah, he run.

[Tony Baker]

A tight ship, man.

[Azar Faraday]

Dang. Right?

[Tony Baker]

She's strict over there.

[Azar Faraday]

He says I'm cooked all the time. Right. So what is your. What are your. What are your.

[Paul]

What does cooked mean, though?

[Azar Faraday]

So he likes to clean it up sometimes cuz he said that. And then he also said that women are desperate when they're older because they don't have more options. So they just be desperate. Cuz plies one time was like, if you're over, you know, 35 or 40 and you got a job and you like hit me up, I'm looking for that. And he was like, plies. I know what you doing. You looking for them desperate women because they desperate. They don't have no options. What are your thoughts on that? I want to hear what you have to say.

[Paul]

I'll clean it up after you say clean it up. After he cleaned it up, you go take it. What do you think cooked is though? Like done. Finished.

[Tony Baker]

Cooked means you no longer have value. You're done. You browned on both sides, you got the crispy edges. You sat on the counter for too long and now you just tried to.

[Paul]

Throw out that Thanksgiving meal.

[Tony Baker]

Somebody didn't wrap it up in aluminum foil and put it in the fridge. It sat out overnight. So now it's done, it's done. You know, the cat licked it, seven flies landed on it. That's like cooked.

[Paul]

That's cooked.

[Tony Baker]

But I definitely don't feel like, you know, 30 year old women are cooked just because, you know, they single or whatever. I just think like, you know, every. There is no blanket for everybody, of course, but it's just like, you know, you gotta know their story. Yeah. What are they doing, what's their career, what have they been, you know what I'm saying? Trying to attain like, you know, a lot of professional women when they professionals, you know, with them real jobs, work can take up a lot of time. So they might not have the time to be out here looking, looking for the right man. And then a lot of women, you.

[Paul]

Know what I'm saying?

[Tony Baker]

A lot of women be out on the trash, dude. So they just be like, well, it didn't work out with us. Let me fucking focus on me, focus on work, you know. And then time goes by and then he's like, all right, let me try dating. They do that and it was like, ain't nobody out there. And then they go back in, they shell, next thing you know they're 34. Still valid, still valued, you know, got a lot to offer, but you know, maybe they just didn't find that, that person. Because I look at relationships like what's under the hood? Every, every relation, every couple, I see what's under the hood. Yeah, that's a nice car. But what's going on with the carburetor? With that radiator hitting for.

[Paul]

But don't. Now, don't you think that's like a red flag? Because women like that are usually kind of self centered. Like, I mean, I know you're goal orientated and your job took you away from like really trying to settle down, get married, have kids. It's women like that for sure.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

And I just think like the qualities that they bring now to a relationship. Cause this is what I say about me. Like, as a professional athlete, I was driven, I was self centered, I was determined, I sacrificed so much. And the traits that I shared in my sport don't really relate to a relationship because I'm selfish, I'm self centered, I'm driven, I'm focused on this goal.

[Tony Baker]

But also a team player though.

[Paul]

Yeah, a team player. But some of those qualities don't make for like relationship what you need in a relationship. Yeah, I understand teamwork, but I also understood selfishness. I understood like blocking out everything, blocking in tunnel vision and not caring what people say.

[Tony Baker]

Right.

[Paul]

You know what I'm saying? But like, in relationship you gotta care what your partner say. You gotta like, it's like things that you was like, I don't care about this. And it made me who I was. And so now when you bring that relationship, you gotta, you gotta learn how to.

[Tony Baker]

It was hard for you to make that switch though.

[Paul]

You have to unlearn it.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

You know, you have to like.

[Azar Faraday]

And do you feel like you have.

[Paul]

Yeah. Over time. Yes. Over time I'm like, when you have so many people telling you the same thing, it's like, dude, you're right. Yeah. You know you have to look in the mirror.

[Tony Baker]

Right. For sure.

[Paul]

You know what I'm saying? You gotta take that look like I. No, it's not like. No, you, you selfish and you're like, you don't believe them. But then it's like when so many people say things about you.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

You're like, damn.

[Tony Baker]

When you first got married, how old was you when you got married?

[Paul]

I got married at, let's see, how was I? I was like 33, maybe 34.

[Tony Baker]

And you, you were still in the NBA at that time.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

So at that time of like, you know, the marriage, the engagement or whatever, what was your mindset in terms of relationships at that time? To be able to think, all right, I'm ready for this.

[Paul]

Well, I was with the girl. We were living together for like three or four. We had a kid.

[Tony Baker]

Okay.

[Paul]

And it was just like, might as well. It was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it wasn't. I loved her. I mean, we lived together, we had a kid, but I didn't want to have more kids and not be married to her. Okay. And then I go to her sister's wedding.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

And I'm kind of looking at her sister, kind of looking at her like, you know, she got the ring.

[Tony Baker]

Now you can see the.

[Paul]

Yeah. Kind of like the. And I was like, hold on. I'm not even. You know what, I'm with her. We live together, we got a kid.

[Tony Baker]

So you did it for her. More so than you actually wanting to be married. You like, man, let me, let me, let me make it official for you.

[Paul]

When I really look back at it, probably so. Because I remember when I was with her, I said, I'm never getting married.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

You know what I'm saying? And maybe so when I think about it.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. Because I think a lot of men do that where it's just like, oh.

[Paul]

We got the kids, but we live a married life. We live together.

[Tony Baker]

So it's like. But it's not true. It's not true. Marriage intention, though, from a man's perspective, it's just like, let me do this for her. Or let me. We already doing this. We might as well. It's like the Jagged Edge song. We ain't getting no younger. We might as well do this. That's a wild ass song. But like, but it's not like I want to marry this woman right here. As opposed to, I mean, we already. You know what I mean? It's a different intention on it.

[Paul]

Think about this too. This is the thing I thought about. So, like, I thought it was important to marry her, actually.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

Because what if something happened to me?

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

Like, I thought about all of that.

[Tony Baker]

That way she taking care of the kids are going to be. Right.

[Paul]

So I thought, like, marriage doesn't have to just be like about. It's the business of marriage, too.

[Tony Baker]

It's a business for sure.

[Paul]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

[Paul]

So I thought about the business of it, too. Like, if something happens to me and she's living in my house, we got a kid, some. Like, she's gonna be.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

And I'm like, you know what? We'll get married. Something happens, you're taken care of.

[Tony Baker]

Right.

[Paul]

So it's like, there's layers to it. It's more than just, I'm doing it for you. It's like, I'm doing it for you. But I'm doing it for the family. I'm doing it for.

[Tony Baker]

Right.

[Paul]

You know, the things. If something, you know, doesn't.

[Tony Baker]

It was a business decision.

[Paul]

It was a business.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah, for sure.

[Paul]

And you. Sometimes you have to make a business decision.

[Azar Faraday]

This segment is brought to you by Rose Sparks. So what do you feel like is a sexual fantasy that you haven't done, that you want fulfilled?

[Paul]

A sexual fantasy that I haven't done? Yeah, that I want fulfilled.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, what would you want? Like, from a.

[Paul]

From. From your partner, right?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. Or whoever.

[Paul]

Probably for her to hold accountability.

[Azar Faraday]

That has nothing to do with that.

[Paul]

That'll turn me on.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm talking about, like, bondage. Choke out.

[Tony Baker]

Damn.

[Azar Faraday]

Handcuffed, blindfolded. Or like threesomes. Like, something I wouldn't mind.

[Paul]

Like a scripted role play.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay, so what would be the role play? I don't know.

[Paul]

Maybe like.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, she's your.

[Paul]

She come in. In a suit. She like a FBI agent banging on my shit. FBI. I'm crying, and I'm like, damn, you've been under arrest. Boom, boom, boom.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm dead.

[Paul]

Past searched me. Cover me. That pulled the strap out on me. Get down, get down.

[Azar Faraday]

You want her to pull the strap out?

[Paul]

I'm like, oh, get out on the floor. Boom, boom, boom. Then she just started. Just take them off. Like, what? What are you talking about, Officer? Take them off like, oh, damn. Then you just. Boom, boom. Then next thing you know, I'm stripped.

[Azar Faraday]

You're cracking.

[Paul]

Next thing you know, we in the bedroom. Right. The adrenaline would be so crazy.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm crying.

[Tony Baker]

Damn.

[Azar Faraday]

You know what I would do?

[Paul]

What would be yours?

[Azar Faraday]

I know what mine would be. I just thought about it.

[Paul]

Yeah, I gave you a. I would be.

[Azar Faraday]

My role play would be like, I'm in a shower and I have like. Like someone coming to work on the house. And so he comes in, but then he's like, ma', am, trying to get me. And then he sees me in the shower, and then he's like, oh. And then I see him as John. Then he knows that I seen him. We're looking at each other.

[Paul]

How he worked his way to your.

[Azar Faraday]

Because he's in there to fix the toilet.

[Paul]

Okay.

[Azar Faraday]

You know what I'm saying? Or the sink. So you're in there. You're going into the bathroom, but I'm in the shower, and I didn't know you were coming this way.

[Paul]

How did he get into the house?

[Azar Faraday]

Just don't get about. Why do you have to get into all the details?

[Paul]

You open the door with A towel?

[Azar Faraday]

No, I didn't even open the door. The door was open. It was unlocked. I live in a white neighborhood. Okay. It was unlocked. He came in, he saw me in the shower, then I saw him. So then I'm like, giving a little show and then boom, we get cracking and then he comes in there. He's like, I can't help it. You're just so sexy. I need you right now.

[Paul]

That's your honest. Okay, okay.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm crying or like. Or maybe like, I'm a teacher and I'm like, you're gonna. But then that's kind of weird because I don't want it to be like, how old are you in the class? You know what I mean? That gets weird a little bit. But also too, I feel like maybe like a blindfold situation and a tie up situation is something that I would try. You know what I mean? And like, because that makes you really not in control. So you have to completely let go and trust your partner to like, like take care of you in that way.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

You know what I mean? So that's like a whole different vibe. Do you have anything else?

[Paul]

Is that it? Role play is definitely. Like, it turns you on because it's like. And you can set up different scenarios.

[Azar Faraday]

What's another scenario?

[Paul]

So I guess, you know, for me, another scenario be crazy.

[Azar Faraday]

What?

[Paul]

Maybe like, maybe like on a like, red eye flight, everybody knocked out.

[Azar Faraday]

Oh, that's. Oh, like that's a fantasy.

[Paul]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Paul]

Because it's kind of edgy and.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. You don't want to get caught.

[Paul]

Yeah. Sitting in first class. You like, looking around you over here. And then she don't do, you know.

[Azar Faraday]

And then what is going on, though? Is it a little.

[Paul]

She going down on you?

[Azar Faraday]

She's going down. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Paul]

That would be crazy.

[Azar Faraday]

That would be intense. That would be interesting. So you like, if like, like the.

[Paul]

Full flight, you just like, damn, everybody sleep. You got the lights off. First class.

[Azar Faraday]

That's interesting. I'm not mad at that. I'm not mad at that.

[Paul]

You got your blanket on. You got your blanket on.

[Azar Faraday]

You're underneath the blanket.

[Paul]

Yeah, that would be lit. That'd be lit.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Paul]

And you sleep, but then she wake you up to it. Ooh, ooh, that'll be lit. That'll go. That'll go.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm crying.

[Paul]

You're like, oh, oh, London or something.

[Azar Faraday]

But then like, yeah. What if they catch you and they're like, excuse me, you guys.

[Paul]

Y' all ain't turning around. We going To London?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. It's not like, what are you gonna do? You can't take us off the flight.

[Paul]

You ain't turning this around.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay. Do you have any other ones?

[Paul]

Not off the top, though. You know, a lot of this is kind of like, maybe on some spontaneous.

[Azar Faraday]

But do you think that if you were role playing, you'll be able to keep, like, a serious face? Like, would you be able to really follow through on your role?

[Paul]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Or it'll be a situation at the office, and I'm in my suit.

[Azar Faraday]

That's a good one. Knock on my door like it's an assistant. Your assistant or your, like, boss?

[Paul]

No, no, like, my boss right there.

[Azar Faraday]

Your boss? Your boss.

[Paul]

She come in here like, hey, I'm sorry I have to fire you, but before you go, send you off. Right? That would be crazy.

[Azar Faraday]

That would be super intense, man.

[Paul]

I'm have to put that. I'm at the script that put a suit on. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm emptying out my stuff. The next thing you know, boom. Got me.

[Azar Faraday]

Damn, that's a good one. I like that. I like that a lot. I feel like I would definitely rock with that one. I feel like back in the day when you would watch freaky movies, they used to have, like, lead. They used to have, like, a whole, like, scripting. Like, now they just get straight to it. But back in day, it was like, I'm knocking on the door, oh, my God, I caught you. You caught me in the thing. Like, it used to be a whole situation. Like a movie.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Now it's just, like, straight to it.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Which, I guess, whatever. To each its own.

[Paul]

Which ones?

[Azar Faraday]

What you mean?

[Paul]

Like, which ones you watching? Were they straight to it?

[Azar Faraday]

I'm not watching that.

[Paul]

How you know.

[Azar Faraday]

But I just know I've seen it. But I don't watch. I don't really watch porn at. I don't. Like, I used to, like, watch it here and there, but now I just feel like it's just not doing it for me, you know? But people say that the best is on Twitter or X.

[Paul]

Really?

[Azar Faraday]

Because it's, like, amateur. And it's like real people making videos. And people say that it's like. And I've seen some of them. Oh, yeah. And I seen some of them, and they're cracking on there. Like, I'm not gonna lie. People who don't know they're cracking on there.

[Paul]

I didn't know they had.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. Oh, X is where X. Oh, yeah. They have RA that's the biggest thing on X. Like, really? What? Yes.

[Paul]

My algorithm. Off.

[Azar Faraday]

No, that's good.

[Paul]

I need. Damn, I'm glad I ain't watching that. So kids can watch this.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, that's why you have to put them controls on them kids. Yeah, you got to be careful because kids have access to everything now.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, when I was young, I would go in the dictionary to look at the naked people.

[Paul]

The dictionary?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, because they would have it in an encyclopedia. They'll tell you, like, different body parts.

[Paul]

Oh, damn.

[Azar Faraday]

They'll be naked. And I would, like, learn body parts like that. Now you could just see anything. Pull it up, pull it up, pull it up. It's crazy. Okay, well, anyways, thank you to Rose Sparks. For this segment, if prescribed, new sexual health patients get 15 off their first order of Sparks on a reoccurring plan. Connect with the provider at Row Co Tad to find out if prescription Rose Sparks are right for you.

[Paul]

You know what I mean?

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

And so people don't think about that.

[Azar Faraday]

Well, when women say that. Because we had the. The girls from Poor Minds. I don't know if you know that.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

They were on our show, and she said, marriage is a business decision.

[Tony Baker]

It is.

[Azar Faraday]

And you were like, see, that's why women just want to marry men for a business decision. Now you saying the same exact thing. So I'm confused because. Yeah, because you went off on, like, oh, they're. You know, women just want to marry a man for this. But it's like. Like, it is a business. I think marriage is getting the government involved in your relationship, period. So it is a business decision. It's the commitment. Of course, Yes. I think a lot of women like the idea of, like, you're willing to commit to me.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

And that's the security and safety of knowing, like, I'm investing this time, this energy with you. And I know that, you know, like, we're here. We're locked in. It's not just like, we're breaking that by, you know, it's more technical than that. And I think women want. Want to feel like they have that security and safety and that commitment, you know, so for us, too, it's like that. It's a business decision in that aspect, you know, but it's also like, I feel like the commitment and the love should come before the. It should already be there. You know what I mean? Like, we're not going to the altar with all our friends and family, and now we're suddenly committed.

[Tony Baker]

Right.

[Azar Faraday]

The commitment should already exist, and we're doing this because. Because we've decided this is good for our relationship moving forward, you know? But people look to the marriage to be like, this is going to solve something. This is going to make us better.

[Tony Baker]

That's the recipe for disaster right there. Every time.

[Azar Faraday]

Exactly.

[Paul]

That's gonna fix us.

[Azar Faraday]

No, it ain't exactly. Just like, people think a baby's gonna. Oh, bring us closer. Baby is hard for people who are actually in love.

[Tony Baker]

For sure.

[Azar Faraday]

If you have issues and you bring a baby into it, it's gonna make it even worse. That's gonna.

[Tony Baker]

Recipes for disaster.

[Azar Faraday]

Exactly. Like, no, Nothing is gonna save your marriage. But actually doing the work.

[Tony Baker]

Doing the work. Communication.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Compromising, all that good stuff.

[Azar Faraday]

Do you believe in, like, going to therapy and stuff?

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Tony Baker]

Yep.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

I haven't. I haven't been a big therapy goer.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Tony Baker]

But I believe in it for sure.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Paul]

I'm not sure I'll ever do that. No, no. Ever. I've done it.

[Tony Baker]

Okay.

[Paul]

It was a disaster for me.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Why was it a disaster?

[Paul]

Because I feel like. Like, think about therapy. I feel like I went to couples therapy with my ex wife.

[Tony Baker]

Like, how many times?

[Paul]

Roughly two. Oh, but this is my thing.

[Tony Baker]

You ain't even crack the surface.

[Paul]

No, no, but listen, though. Listen, though. If you guys are going through it, it's like, it's not good. The relationship's not good. And. And they're like, let's go to therapy. Yeah, Right. What is that saying? You're trying to work on it.

[Tony Baker]

Right, Right.

[Paul]

But when you go to therapy. I didn't realize the therapy I was going to was to help break it.

[Tony Baker]

Oh, they were trying to break it.

[Azar Faraday]

It was to uncouple.

[Paul]

Huh?

[Azar Faraday]

It was a therapy to uncouple. Cause that's the thing where they do therapy to, like, uncouple.

[Paul]

Well, this. Really?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Paul]

So when I go there, it's like, you know, how do you guys see each other? Do you love her? You can see yourself working it out. I'm like, hell, yeah. Then he asked her. She was like, I don't think so.

[Tony Baker]

Oh.

[Paul]

And so I'm like, what am I here for? I mean, like, what am I here for? Right. And I literally, from that, when I heard that, I got up and walked out.

[Tony Baker]

You just negated the whole purpose of the therapy.

[Paul]

But why are we here?

[Tony Baker]

To fix. She wanted to go because it was her idea for the therapy. She wanted to go to see if she could fix her mindset of where y' all were at. Like, Even though she said, I can't see it right now, that's where she was at in the moment. But she was like, well, maybe therapy can open things up to, maybe I can change my view of him. And so therapy can help guide people into, why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like I want to crap out? You know what I'm saying? And so she was just being honest in that moment. But she might not have necessarily meant, like, it's over, it's done. But the way I feel now, I don't know if I see a future. And then that's. Therapy can be like, oh, I never thought of it that way. Or, I didn't know you felt that way. Why do you feel that way? Because a lot of times when people say I feel like this, they be.

[Paul]

Like, all right, well, shoot, what you.

[Tony Baker]

Want me to do instead of being like, okay, what's the origin story on why you feel the way you feel right there? And then that's when you start to unpack all the stuff that led up to, I'm not feeling this. A lot of people won't even get that far.

[Azar Faraday]

They'd be like.

[Tony Baker]

They get defensive.

[Azar Faraday]

I've been in that position, and I was in couples therapy, and I felt the way of like, I can't see you in a certain light anymore, but it's like, I want to be with you, so I want to figure out how I can. Can not be so guarded with you now, because I don't trust you. And I feel like you're a different person in my eyes now.

[Tony Baker]

Right.

[Azar Faraday]

And I say all that to say not for someone to walk out, but to be like, okay, so like you said, where can we get to the root of that and fix that issue? You know what I mean? And sometimes it can be fixed. Sometimes I don't know if it can. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's just. It just depends.

[Tony Baker]

So.

[Azar Faraday]

Paul had said another thing.

[Paul]

Paul had said, never say nothing.

[Tony Baker]

I don't know.

[Azar Faraday]

Change it to Paul had said, honestly.

[Paul]

I feel like she say more than me.

[Azar Faraday]

Paul had said, what is something I said?

[Paul]

I mean, you say stuff.

[Azar Faraday]

What did I say?

[Paul]

I don't know. You say stuff.

[Azar Faraday]

What am I. What is the stuff?

[Tony Baker]

I don't know.

[Paul]

Like, it's not in my top of my head right now.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay. Okay. Well, Paul had said that. He said. He said, cheat on your girl if you want to know if she loves you or not.

[Tony Baker]

I remember this. That was another hot day he had. That was wild. I'm like, cheating on your girl.

[Azar Faraday]

And then he's like, well, maybe you don't cheat on her. Maybe you just lie to her and tell her you did cheat to see what her reaction is.

[Tony Baker]

This is Wild Dog.

[Paul]

I know somebody who.

[Tony Baker]

This is Mental Warfare Dog.

[Paul]

I know. That's toxic.

[Tony Baker]

It is. That's Toxic Avenger, though.

[Paul]

That is Toxic Avenger.

[Tony Baker]

That's crazy.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

No, man.

[Paul]

I mean, no, I'm not saying. All right, so I, I. No, no, I don't agree with it either, like. Cause I don't think you get in a relationship and like, let me see if this go home.

[Tony Baker]

Let me see how real it is.

[Paul]

I'mma let her catch me. I'm going put my phone right here.

[Tony Baker]

Let me smash these other broads and tell her about it. Let me see if she can take the heat. See if she can take it back, man. I don't think you really feeling me, man. Let me see. Let me smash your best friend, see if we can.

[Paul]

All right. I don't care in order. Like, especially a man in your position. How do you know if the girl like you, she go see a show and then you connect. Y' all dating, right? She love, like, the show and all of that, but how you know she like you for you. You gotta go through something. What is that? That's gotta happen to show you that she really loved you.

[Tony Baker]

Definitely not cheating, though.

[Paul]

No, but I'm just. There's like, you have to go through something.

[Tony Baker]

You gotta go through something just to see if it's real.

[Paul]

Yeah, what is that for me?

[Tony Baker]

Cause I feel like if I cheated. Don't take me back.

[Paul]

Damn.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, that's real. Cause that's self respect.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah. I fucked up, man. You don't want none of this. That's the mindset I had. You don't want none of this, man.

[Paul]

You're better off.

[Tony Baker]

And like. And plus, I'd be like, you gonna get revenge? You gonna get revenge. In the back of my mind, you gonna get revenge. You got their revenge, didn't you? I know you get their revenge.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

And so for me, like, I guess, like, the litmus test would just be like, just regular trials and tribulations. Like, you know, how do we resolve conflict? You know what I mean? In terms of, like, if we not getting along, how do we battle? You know, does it get disrespectful? Does it get ugly? You know what I'm saying? And, like, I feel like in those moments, you can really see. You can really see people's metal in that term because you be like, oh, that's how you act when you mad. Oh, you be saying some wild shit when you mad. It's like, damn. You know what I'm saying? And so once you see people when they're angry, you can get a clear snapshot who that person is.100%. It was like, man, you was really mad at me, but you really conveyed it in a way that was like.

[Azar Faraday]

Like mature.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Respectful.

[Tony Baker]

Yes. I was like, wow. So you can follow suit or, you know, you're the one that's like, I talk about you while you was. You know what I'm saying? I wish the worst on you. And damn. Damn. And so I feel like those moments are real good litmus test on, you know, somebody really feeling you, how you work through those moments. Because the cheating is the. Is the cream of the crop on a non negotiable. Really? Everything else is negotiable.

[Paul]

All right, so listen, you feel like.

[Azar Faraday]

Cheating is non negotiable.

[Paul]

But let's. There's levels to cheating. Let's. Let's not say cheating is having sex with another girl. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Tony Baker]

There are levels. Yeah.

[Paul]

Like, say you out with your boys. She walk in, you got a girl on your lap. Is that cheating? That's cheating.

[Tony Baker]

That's. That's a little light tier, a low tier. You know what I'm saying? You violated. You disrespected. You got me out here looking like a fool.

[Paul]

Cause that girl on your lap, there's.

[Tony Baker]

Levels to it that's different than actual sex.

[Azar Faraday]

But being disrespected, especially publicly, just shows like, what are you. Else are you willing to do? Because if I didn't walk in and you have a woman, if I was on a man's lap, that's over for him. You never. The relationship is over. If you walk in and I'm sitting on a man's lap, that's over. The relationship is done.

[Tony Baker]

Dunski.

[Azar Faraday]

Done.

[Tony Baker]

Your stuff is on the curb of the venue. Walked in on you, period.

[Azar Faraday]

Now, why would a man think that a woman wouldn't feel the same way? Yeah, that's crazy. Like, that double standard. That's not going to work. If I see a woman on your lap, I'm cool. Because that means you're willing to disrespect me publicly.

[Paul]

Yeah. Embarrass me, you know, he see you push her out. No, no, no, no. It wasn't like that. It wasn't like that. Get out of here. Yeah. Hey, watch out. Watch out. He do that. Get you. Come here. Come here. Come here. She just did that. I was being nice. I don't want to push her off.

[Azar Faraday]

I'm cool. You too nice. You too friendly for me. I don't like no friendly ass, man. Anyways, you got all that going on. I'm cool. Like, a woman sitting on your lap is just like all disrespectful. Like, what? Don't you see that you don't have respect for me? That's period, point blank respect.

[Paul]

This over.

[Azar Faraday]

I think disrespect is a high thing for me on my list because I think if there's not respect in a relationship, it's really, really hard to follow suit on a lot of other things. If I don't respect you, then what makes you think that I'm not going to. To cheat on you, flirt with someone else, mess with your homeboy, talk to you, whoever. Like, what makes you think that? Because, yeah, it's a snowball if you don't have zero respect for me and you could be out willy nilly with a woman on your lap. Yeah, that's crazy. That's just as crazy.

[Tony Baker]

How deep into the lap is she sitting, though?

[Paul]

Right here. Right? Right. There's levels to the lap.

[Azar Faraday]

Right?

[Paul]

Right. There's levels to it.

[Azar Faraday]

I don't get it.

[Tony Baker]

On the knee.

[Paul]

Is she on the knee?

[Azar Faraday]

Am I on the knee of a man? Is that going to be okay?

[Tony Baker]

It's better than you being right in place.

[Azar Faraday]

So if I'm deeper to the left, but I'm not on a man's knee, but in between his knees, is that gonna be okay? Is that gonna be okay? Exactly. That's all.

[Paul]

Oh, man.

[Azar Faraday]

It's not gonna be okay no matter what.

[Paul]

All right, what if you walk in and she not on the lap? She just twerking in front of me Like, I'm like, oh. I'm like, I'm into it, though. Is that true?

[Tony Baker]

But you into it, you boo.

[Paul]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, but she not on the lap. But she's not on the lap.

[Tony Baker]

She's not a dancer.

[Paul]

And she's not a dancer. She's not a dancer, she's not a dance.

[Tony Baker]

She's a civilian.

[Paul]

She just wanted to be right there. And I was just like, oh, okay. Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

I feel like that's not as bad. Yeah, it's not as bad.

[Tony Baker]

That's just the party.

[Azar Faraday]

That's just like you said. It's what?

[Tony Baker]

That's just the party.

[Azar Faraday]

You're right, it's not as bad. But if I'm twerking on a man and you walk in. Is that. What is that? That problem?

[Paul]

That is a problem where he's sitting down and he's double standard. There's no such thing as double standard in a relationship. I'm sorry. So how you can't do that. And I'm not saying I can do it or it's cool for me to do it. It's like this. I will tell you, there's no double standard. Because if I call you, if I call. If I get mad and we arguing and I call you a bitch, right? But if you call me one, that's disrespectful. More disrespectful for a woman to call a man than a man to call a woman one. Because now if you call your man one, think about that. If your girl call you that based on if y' all mad at each other or you call her that when y' all mad at each other, it's different if it comes out of girl off mouth to a man.

[Tony Baker]

I will say, right, that if a woman calls you a bitch, that's crazy. That's deeply rooted disrespect. Like, she don't respect you at all. At all. A man could call a woman A and still love that girl.

[Paul]

Exactly.

[Tony Baker]

He just mad right now.

[Paul]

He just mad. But if a woman calls a man A, that's disrespectful.

[Tony Baker]

That's. That.

[Paul]

That's.

[Tony Baker]

That's been in the crock pot for a while.

[Paul]

That's what I'm saying.

[Tony Baker]

She don't even see you as a.

[Azar Faraday]

You know what? I never been called. I never been called A by, like, a relationship. I'll be honest. Like, I never had that. So I think it will probably take me aback if someone now did that to me because I'll be like, wow, I never. It's new for me. I'll be like. Like, whoa.

[Tony Baker]

But if you called him.

[Azar Faraday]

But I never called a man A to his face. Like, to my home, girl, there's not a double standard.

[Paul]

My home.

[Azar Faraday]

This got me up. I can't stand this. But you have respect enough to not.

[Tony Baker]

Say it to him.

[Azar Faraday]

I would never call a man.

[Paul]

There's not double standards.

[Tony Baker]

I'm with you on that.

[Paul]

You know what I'm saying?

[Azar Faraday]

You're saying that there are double standards.

[Paul]

There's not double standards on men and women.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, that means that they are double standards.

[Paul]

Like if, like, it goes back to the twerking in front.

[Tony Baker]

He's saying there are double standards.

[Azar Faraday]

You're saying There are.

[Paul]

Oh, there are double standards.

[Azar Faraday]

Yes.

[Paul]

Yeah, you're right.

[Azar Faraday]

You're right.

[Paul]

They're double standards.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, it's not equal.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah, like.

[Paul]

Like a girl twerking in front of me and you twerking for a man. It's different.

[Azar Faraday]

It's like a woman kissing her home girl and a man kissing his homeboy.

[Tony Baker]

Oh, different.

[Azar Faraday]

That's a double standard as well.

[Tony Baker]

If a girl. If a girl kisses another girl, be like, okay, yeah, but let you walk in on me sopping the dude down.

[Paul]

What's up, baby?

[Tony Baker]

This Steve gonna be like, what?

[Paul]

What is this?

[Azar Faraday]

You're a dog.

[Tony Baker]

You a. I'm a now. I was teaching Steve. Oh, that's what we doing.

[Azar Faraday]

That's correct.

[Tony Baker]

That's what we doing. Huh?

[Azar Faraday]

I was just showing up. We just got a little drug. That's crazy.

[Tony Baker]

I was just experimenting. College Z was there.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I will say that there are double standards when it comes to men and women.

[Paul]

That's what all I'm saying.

[Azar Faraday]

But I also believe, like, men expect women to take them back when they cheat a lot of time. But a man will not get over a woman cheating.

[Tony Baker]

Nah. Hell no.

[Azar Faraday]

It's very hard for a man. Some will, but it's very hard for men to get over that. Yeah. Like, most men will be like, you cheat.

[Tony Baker]

It's all, I ain't gonna make it right.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, I could.

[Tony Baker]

I could never unsee the cheat.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Even. Even if we smash, I'll be like, this how this was doing you when you was cheating on me?

[Azar Faraday]

Is this how he was doing?

[Tony Baker]

Nah, man. You got to know yourself. You be like, I can't, I can't. I can't survive it. But there's. There's levels to the cheat. It depends on how far it went.

[Azar Faraday]

So what are the levels to the chi?

[Tony Baker]

So, like, there's flirting.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Tony Baker]

There's a little extra communication going on. Little in person flirting.

[Azar Faraday]

Are those text those. I want to know. Are those that ones that you will. You can get past if they.

[Tony Baker]

If they talking and flirting, I can get past.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay. You can get past talking and flirting.

[Tony Baker]

Once you get physical, though, you can't.

[Azar Faraday]

Get past the physical. What if it was just a kiss?

[Tony Baker]

If we was together?

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. French, French. Francais, Francais. Like, I just kissed him. It was just. I'm was sad. He was comforting me.

[Paul]

Get out of here.

[Azar Faraday]

He was comforting me at work.

[Tony Baker]

Let's say it got to that level and we was having hard times. We was on the outs. We was kind of in the crazy space.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah.

[Tony Baker]

And I also did some dirt on my end. Yeah, I could probably get past the French. Anything more. If the penis showed up at any.

[Azar Faraday]

Point in time, then it's done.

[Tony Baker]

If that dick came out on your watch, I'm out. I'm out. If you pulled it out, if you.

[Azar Faraday]

Handled it, then it's over. It's over.

[Tony Baker]

Dunskis.

[Azar Faraday]

Done.

[Paul]

All right, let me ask y', all, this. Is this cheating? Say you go to your girl crib and y' all in the bed, and you just go in her drawers real quick like you, you, you. Something happened. I don't know. I spill. I'm drinking a water. Like, let me see if there's a towel in here. You open up the drawer, and she got one of these dildos. Like, this. Is that cheap? I'm talking about, like. I'm talking about that.

[Azar Faraday]

No one wants that. No one wants that. First of all, no. Most women don't want that.

[Tony Baker]

I'm like, this what you want?

[Azar Faraday]

That's way too big.

[Tony Baker]

This what you want?

[Paul]

If I gotta hand it to her like this? Yeah, you gotta hand it to her like this. That's what you into. That's not cheating.

[Tony Baker]

I can't compete.

[Paul]

Is that cheating?

[Tony Baker]

No, it's not.

[Azar Faraday]

It's not cheating.

[Tony Baker]

It's not cheating. It's a little deceptive.

[Paul]

Like. Like, what you gonna. What's gonna go through your head?

[Azar Faraday]

Why is it deceptive?

[Tony Baker]

Like, when. When did she get it? Like, you know, when did you get this? Like, you know what I'm saying? If she already had that, then she don't owe that to me like before. But like, if we were in a.

[Paul]

Relationship and she bought it while we.

[Tony Baker]

Were in the relationship, that hurts your ego. Yeah. Cause it's like, yo, let me.

[Paul]

Let me see if I can measure up.

[Tony Baker]

You know what I'm saying?

[Azar Faraday]

But what if you just can't, like, physically, you know, the measuring is not measuring. This is big. Mind you. I will say this. Most women don't want this.

[Paul]

This, this.

[Azar Faraday]

We like a regular. Like, that hurts.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

But I will say. So let me give you this scenario. What if we've said this before? What if your woman subscribed to a man only fans and you walk in on her on the only fans of a popular guy. Like, let's say it's like Safari, because I think he has only fans or something. Some one of these men that have only fans.

[Tony Baker]

So she breaking bread on this.

[Azar Faraday]

She's watching Safari on the thing, and she's using the thing like something. Her. She's using her thing.

[Paul]

That's not.

[Azar Faraday]

Is that cheating?

[Paul]

That's not cheap.

[Tony Baker]

That's not cheating.

[Azar Faraday]

But that's awkward to me.

[Paul]

Oh, for sure.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, if I'm walking in on my man doing an. Only fans of a woman that's like, on Instagram.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

That you. You could see.

[Paul]

Like, you could watching porn and you.

[Tony Baker]

Walk in, the porn would be better.

[Paul]

Better.

[Tony Baker]

Just a regular porn act.

[Azar Faraday]

Regular porn actress is better because it's like. Let's say you're watching someone who's just like an Instagram model.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Like, who's to say you can't really like. So you're fantasizing about this one. Like, porn is a bunch of random different women. Like, who knows? Right now you're subscribing to this one girl and you're watching all of her stuff. Yeah, I don't like that.

[Tony Baker]

It hit a little different because it's like, yeah, man, she got the. She got only fans. 30. 30amonth.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, you're all there.

[Tony Baker]

Like, I'm free, Pornhub McGee. Man. Free.

[Azar Faraday]

Do you know about the porn on Twitter on X we was talking about?

[Tony Baker]

I'll be seeing it sometime, but I'm. I'm really on there. I don't know how to get to it, though.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. Because it's like a whole situation. My home girl was telling me about it. Like, supposedly X is like, where all the. The videos, the good videos.

[Paul]

I don't know.

[Azar Faraday]

Someone has to like, send them to you and then your algorithm will get flooded.

[Paul]

What you got to put in there? What you got to put. How you get to it?

[Azar Faraday]

I don't know.

[Tony Baker]

I always end up stumbling upon it. I'm like, oh, man. Usually be good clips. It's good clips, probably. I don't know how I got to them.

[Paul]

I can never remember.

[Azar Faraday]

It's good clips on there, supposedly. I seen a few, though. No, Because I seen a few, but I Not into the world. I'm not deep in the world, though. I don't be on Twitter at all.

[Tony Baker]

I'm never on Twitter now.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah. But I've seen a few of them.

[Paul]

I'm on Twitter more than.

[Tony Baker]

There was some good ones on there, though.

[Azar Faraday]

Back I was like, they're hitting on.

[Paul]

What do you gotta put in.

[Tony Baker]

I don't know how to find that.

[Paul]

I gotta.

[Tony Baker]

Somebody has to post it in, like, a reply to another thing. And then you go down that rabbit hole. I'd be like, this album was good. And then they be like.

[Paul]

I be like, what the fuck is this?

[Tony Baker]

And then Next thing you know, I'm in the.

[Azar Faraday]

You're in the world of.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah, Like.

[Azar Faraday]

Oh, crying. Well, we really, really, really appreciate you coming on the show, Tony. We love you. We. We love your content. We just really rock with everything that you're doing.

[Tony Baker]

So thank you, man.

[Azar Faraday]

We have to come to one of your shows, too. I would love to come.

[Tony Baker]

I'm back on my monthly.

[Paul]

So what you got? What you got?

[Tony Baker]

Tony Bacon and friends at Flappers and Burbank.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay.

[Tony Baker]

I do it once a month.

[Paul]

It'll be.

[Tony Baker]

It's normally the last Monday every month, but this month it'll be Tuesday. So it be like, oh, I'm.

[Azar Faraday]

We. I'm in there.

[Paul]

I will pull up.

[Tony Baker]

So, yeah, it's a good time, man. We be vibing in there. I host it. So I'm up there all night. And it's fun in the Valley, really.

[Paul]

Burbank. Burbank.

[Tony Baker]

Burbank. Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

I love comedy nights.

[Paul]

We go once a week to comedy.

[Azar Faraday]

Oh, hell yeah. Comedy is so fun.

[Paul]

What show y' all go to the most? So we just went to Chris Spencer at Gravitas last week. Okay. I went spank. Did something the other day. Him. And so we always go together.

[Azar Faraday]

And what was the guy that you liked? The. What's his name? Name?

[Paul]

T. Oh, Kevin.

[Tony Baker]

T. That's my boy, man. Hoop with me in the Valley. Yeah, I heard he can hoop.

[Paul]

Yeah, he can hoop, yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah, for sure. That's my dude, though. Kevin.

[Paul]

I love Kevin.

[Azar Faraday]

Well, yeah, you guys, if you're in la, make sure you guys check out Tony's show. We have all. We'll put all his information below so you can follow him. He has funny skits and all that stuff. Hilarious. We really appreciate you coming on the show.

[Paul]

Anything else?

[Tony Baker]

Also, too, the Ball Brothers show. We'll be doing that once a month, too. That's me and Kevin on stage.

[Azar Faraday]

Oh.

[Tony Baker]

We do a show together when we're on stage simultaneously, and it's real audience interactive. We ask audience questions and if we like the answer, we'd be like, do you want to come on stage? So we doing that once a month, too, also at Flappers. So we got that going too. Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Where can we find all that information, like, to get.

[Tony Baker]

It'll be like, if you go to my Instagram, you know, can you can click on the link or tonybeckercomedy.com we'll have all the shows.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay, perfect. We'll put that below. And I'm coming. Yeah, we're gonna come. Check that out. 100% for sure. 100%.

[Tony Baker]

Have me back, man.

[Paul]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tony Baker]

Come back anytime. Just not when the Lakers are playing.

[Azar Faraday]

Yeah, cuz this was crazy. We're so sorry you had a rough drive. I know you had a rough drive. I know you had a rough drive.

[Paul]

It's good tonight.

[Tony Baker]

This the heart of the city right here.

[Paul]

No, but it's. Everybody's in the arena now. So you're good.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah.

[Azar Faraday]

Well it looks.

[Tony Baker]

Yeah, it looks slide.

[Azar Faraday]

Okay. Well thank you guys. Make sure you guys subscribe, follow, share all that good stuff. We appreciate you for tuning into the Truth After Dark. Tony, you've been amazing. We have all his information below his shows etc.

[Paul]

Good night.

[Azar Faraday]

Good night.

[Paul]

This is the taking over the game. All right everybody. Welcome to Truth After Dark.

[Azar Faraday]

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[Paul]

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[Azar Faraday]

That'S odoo.com this is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.