Turning up in Nigeria, travel etiquette, should men comment on women's hair? | Humble Baddies

Summary

Podcast Summary: Club Shay Shay Episode: Turning up in Nigeria, travel etiquette, should men comment on women's hair? | Humble Baddies
Release Date: March 7, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Club Shay Shay, hosts Matt, Leah, and Shirelle Rosado of the Humble Baddies podcast dive into a vibrant discussion covering their recent travels to Nigeria, the intricacies of travel etiquette, and the dynamics of men commenting on women's hairstyles. The conversation is peppered with personal anecdotes, professional insights, and relatable humor, making it a must-listen for anyone interested in lifestyle, travel, and relationship dynamics.

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1. Exploring Nigeria and Ghana: Business Meets Leisure

The episode kicks off with the hosts sharing their exhilarating experience in Nigeria and Ghana. Shirelle Rosado emphasizes the warmth and hospitality they received, highlighting the rich culture and the burgeoning business opportunities in the region.

• Shirelle Rosado [05:14]: "Them hospitality there was top tier. They showed us so much love."

Matt discusses their visit to Lagos and Accra, expressing a keen interest in Ghana's real estate market.

• Matt [05:54]: "We definitely going to get into the real estate business over there. There's a lot of new developments happening."

The team reveals that Allure Realty has partnered with a major development company in Ghana, signaling future investments and projects that aim to foster generational wealth within the Black community.

• Leah [06:07]: "There are great business opportunities in the motherland, especially Ghana and Nigeria. People are coming back."

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2. Balancing Family and Travel: Spring Break Adventures

Transitioning to family dynamics, the hosts discuss managing spring break with their children. Shirelle shares her upcoming trip to Dubai with her daughters, while Matt talks about planning a spring break getaway with his kids.

• Shirelle Rosado [11:22]: "Serenity and her sisters are heading to Dubai. Meanwhile, Matt's taking the boys to the Dominican Republic."

Leah highlights the challenges of coordinating multiple schedules, ensuring each child gets quality time during their respective breaks.

• Leah [11:22]: "It's all over the place. So all of March is spring break. Somebody's on spring break."

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3. Navigating Travel Etiquette: Airplane Anecdotes

The conversation shifts to the often-overlooked aspect of travel etiquette, with the hosts recounting humorous yet relatable experiences on airplanes. They discuss the discomforts of long flights, from dealing with noisy neighbors to managing personal discomforts.

• Matt [14:35]: "We might need to start teaching some lessons on travel etiquette."

Shirelle shares a story about dealing with a plane incident involving excessive gas, leading to a plane turnaround.

• Shirelle Rosado [14:49]: "The plane had to turn around because the guy was excessively farting."

Leah adds her perspective on addressing personal discomforts respectfully, emphasizing the importance of maintaining composure in shared spaces.

• Leah [16:23]: "You can't touch it, period. Period."

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4. The Hair Conundrum: Autonomy and Respect in Relationships

A significant portion of the episode delves into the sensitive topic of hair and personal autonomy. The hosts debate whether men should have a say in their partner's hairstyles, especially when considering major changes like locking or cutting hair.

• Matt [26:36]: "Do you guys feel about men feeling like they have a say in what their woman does with their hair?"

Shirelle recounts a conversation with a man who expressed dislike for certain hairstyles, prompting a discussion on respecting individual choices.

• Shirelle Rosado [27:02]: "If they don't like that, I feel like you should take heed to what they're saying. That's just like..."

Leah offers a balanced view, acknowledging the importance of personal expression while also recognizing the dynamics within relationships.

• Leah [28:33]: "I believe in divine timing. They can heal together."

The consensus among the hosts leans towards open communication and mutual respect, emphasizing that personal hairstyle choices should be autonomous and free from unsolicited commentary.

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5. Listener Mail: Navigating Reignited Relationships Amidst Divorce

In the beloved Humble Baddies Mail Time, the hosts address a listener named Dominique, who is grappling with rekindling a relationship with her high school sweetheart amidst ongoing divorces and the prospect of a long-distance relationship due to his military commitments.

• Dominique's Question [33:58]: "I'm currently going through a divorce and reconnected with my high school sweetheart. He's in the military, which means we're starting long distance. Should I dive in or risk heartbreak?"

Shirelle offers heartfelt advice focusing on self-healing and cautious optimism.

• Shirelle Rosado [35:11]: "Focus on you. Heal yourself first before diving into a new relationship."

Leah, embracing her role as the hopeless romantic, encourages Dominique to consider the potential for healing together, while also acknowledging the challenges posed by simultaneous divorces and military separation.

• Leah [36:02]: "I believe in divine timing. They can heal together."

Matt concurs, emphasizing practical considerations about long-distance relationships.

• Matt [38:46]: "I feel like they're setting themselves up for heartbreak. Long distance is tough."

The hosts conclude that while rekindling old relationships can be healing, it's crucial to ensure that both parties are genuinely ready and that the relationship isn't merely filling a void from past wounds.

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Conclusion

This episode of Club Shay Shay offers a blend of personal stories, professional insights, and candid discussions on relevant topics like international business ventures, family travel dynamics, travel etiquette, and the delicate balance of personal autonomy within relationships. The Humble Baddies hosts provide a relatable and thoughtful exploration of these subjects, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own experiences and choices.

Notable Quotes:

• Shirelle Rosado [05:14]: "Their hospitality was top tier. They showed us so much love."
• Matt [26:36]: "Do you guys feel about men feeling like they have a say in what their woman does with their hair?"
• Shirelle Rosado [35:11]: "Focus on you. Heal yourself first before diving into a new relationship."
• Leah [36:02]: "I believe in divine timing. They can heal together."

For more insightful discussions and to join the Humble Baddies community, follow them on their social media platforms and participate in the conversation.

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Follow Us:

• Instagram: @HumbleBaddiesPodcast
• YouTube: Humble Baddies Podcast
• Email: [e-mail]

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Note: This summary is based on the provided transcript and podcast information. Any discrepancies between the podcast title and content are acknowledged but followed as per user instructions.

Transcript

[Matt]

Hi, I'm Matt.

[Leah]

And I'm Leah and we're from the Grown Up Stuff Podcast.

[Lisa Green Lewis]

And just in time for tax season, on this week's episode, we're chatting with CPA Lisa Green Lewis about how small businesses can tackle their taxes using TurboTax Business.

[Matt]

A Forbes study mentioned that a whopping 93% of small businesses overpay their taxes.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And 17% of Gen Zers believed that you could write off any expense as a business expense.

[Matt]

So can't blame them. It's really important to do your taxes.

[Lisa Green Lewis]

Listen to Grown up stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Where'd you get those shoes?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Easy.

[Lisa Green Lewis]

They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker, and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a SHO for every U at your DSW store or dsw.com did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance, and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely, and parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money. With guardrails in place. Try Greenlight Risk free [e-mail] iheart with the best all inclusive vacation deals to Mexico and the Caribbean. Booking your getaway with cheap Caribbean vacations means you have more freedom to do your deal. Whether you want to enjoy snorkeling, endless margaritas and more, or simply soak up the sun and sand in a tropical paradise, Cheap Caribbean Vacations has your deal for that. Plan and book the exact getaway you want at exactly the right price for you by using our exclusive Budget Beach Finder. Or find a featured adults only all inclusive package to Secrets, Resorts and spas and do your [e-mail] what's up y'all?

[Leah]

Y'all back from the motherland?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yes, girl, I didn't want to come back.

[Matt]

Don't ask me about my hair, okay? If it look like it's mine, it's mine.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Are they gonna be long distance?

[Matt]

You saying? Yeah, it's gonna Be long distance.

[Leah]

I don't know. I don't think that's gonna work.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I get in my weight never out.

[Leah]

Of my lane Feel like you the.

[Shirelle Rosado]

One in the morning so what it's.

[Matt]

Gonna be Baby squatter? We finna go deep Riding on a.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Team Got what you need, Baby won' company Give me something to do when I get lonely I got something for you when we get home if you.

[Matt]

Let me put it down when I.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Hit the town what's up, guys? We are back with another episode of Humble Baddies. I'm Shirelle Rosado.

[Matt]

I'm Ashley Nicole.

[Leah]

And I'm Alexis Stoudemire.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And we are the Humble Baddies.

[Leah]

What's up, y'all? Y'all back from the motherland?

[Matt]

Yes.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Girl, I didn't want to come back.

[Matt]

We missed you, Lex. We missed you so much.

[Leah]

You know, I was celebrating my 42nd lap around the sun.

[Matt]

Who belated?

[Leah]

Thank you so much.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

[Leah]

Thank you. Thank you. It's Pisces season, so shout out to my fellow Pisces out there.

[Matt]

So you had a good time? You were in the nyc?

[Leah]

I did. It's cool to be back, like, full circle. I go often, and the fact that my youngest was born there and there's lots of footsteps there in New York, in the big city.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Y'all spent a lot of time there?

[Leah]

Yeah, yeah, we did. You know, it was an investment. And, you know, if they say if you can make it New York, you can make it anywhere. So the fact that our family thrive there, they still thrive. We still have a name there. And, you know, it's just good to see friends that are family that you just haven't seen in a while. And plus, it was a nice change of weather.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Leah]

And the vibes, the people, the.

[Matt]

Was it snowing?

[Leah]

No, no snow. No snow. But it was chilly. Just a little chilly, you know, which I like. A little brisk.

[Matt]

Okay. But we was in the opposite. We was in Africa.

[Leah]

So tell me, I mean, are y'all jet lag, like, list jet lagged?

[Matt]

I'm tired.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Tired. We was partying.

[Matt]

This one had me outside every day. Every day, all night until the sun came up.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Wait, it wasn't us. It was the promoters and it was Legos.

[Matt]

Listen, okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I had a party.

[Leah]

I. Let me write some notes about Legos.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I'mma tell you what you need in your packing kit when you go there.

[Leah]

Okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

You going to need IV hydration packet.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Because there's no sleep. You're going to have to charge up before you leave.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And just go with the flow.

[Leah]

So it's not a, A relaxation vacation.

[Matt]

No, I live coffee and champagne.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Like, oh, we were urinating the whole time. But you know what? Shout out to everybody in Legos. Everybody in Ghana. Y'all took showed out great care of us. Y'all really showed out. Like, we're gonna. Hopefully we can upload some clips. We got some clips of us. Like, when I tell you the hospitality there was top tier. It was top tier. They showed us so much love.

[Matt]

They were hosting dinners and I mean, they really laid out the red carpet. Like, it was very much coming to Africa, like coming to America, but it was like coming to Africa.

[Leah]

Really. Tell me more, tell me more. We just thought you loved it.

[Matt]

Yes. So we went to Lagos and then we also went to Accra in Ghana. And I just loved Ghana. Like, for me, I want to spend more time in Ghana.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Well, we are going to be spending more time. We do have some exciting news. Allure Realty has partnered with a big development company over there and we're actually going to go over there soon.

[Matt]

So it wasn't all play.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah, it was work, too.

[Matt]

We definitely had some business meetings. We definitely going to get into the real estate business over there. There's a lot of new developments happening out there and Allure is going to be a part of it.

[Leah]

I, I hear there are great business opportunities in the motherland, especially Ghana and Nigeria. People are coming back.

[Matt]

I think we all should invest. Black people, we should definitely invest.

[Leah]

Our price points. Pretty reasonable to where you.

[Matt]

Yes, absolutely.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Really amazing. The, the units that we're partnering with, they're starting out at 84,000 and they have a great ROI. ROI, which you.

[Leah]

English. For those that don't know, return on investment. Okay.

[Matt]

Yes. So, yeah, I mean, we're, we're here to educate and, you know, let everybody know. You know, I know a lot of people don't know about, you know, investing. Investing in real estate and investing in a whole nother continent, let alone another country. So we're here. You know, send us an email if you have questions and we would love to help, you know, set that up.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yes. I love another great thing that I loved about Africa, for us to go over there and you don't have to walk on eggshells. You don't have to be a yes man or like, you walk in it. It's. It's generational wealth over there. Like, you got powerful as black men, powerful as black women over there. Just killing. Like, it was just so beautiful to See, it was very kings and queens running shit.

[Leah]

Well, we're basically not the minority, period.

[Matt]

Not basically. We aren't, you know. Yes.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Matt]

It was a beautiful thing to see.

[Leah]

I love that. How was the food?

[Matt]

The food was amazing.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yes, it was amazing.

[Matt]

The food was amazing. We went and got a massage at a waterfall. I don't know if I was supposed to say. I don't know if I was supposed to say that.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Why not? We're not gonna talk about that.

[Leah]

Why not?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Why not?

[Matt]

It was beautiful.

[Leah]

You're in nature, you're getting massages, rest and relaxation. I mean, why not?

[Matt]

It was a little different. It was a little.

[Leah]

What was it different, Ash? Why was it different?

[Matt]

The men in Ghana are very beautiful. I'm just.

[Shirelle Rosado]

The skin.

[Matt]

Yes. And the big muscles.

[Leah]

And this is who was doing the massaging or just in general? I just wanted my mic a little closer.

[Matt]

We're talking about the massages, but in general.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah. They're beautiful people.

[Leah]

Yes.

[Matt]

Beautiful country, beautiful people. Yeah.

[Leah]

So everyone was warm with you guys? I'm just warm and very catering.

[Matt]

Yeah. Everybody wanted to make sure, like, we had a great time and we did.

[Leah]

Well, Ash, did you. You did say the last episode that you were looking for, you know, a prince. Okay, I want to know. The people do want to know. Was there so many connections out there.

[Matt]

I am the matchmaker.

[Leah]

But yes, we know that the Nigerian.

[Matt]

Men are very aggressive. I mean, we knew this already, but nah, they walked up to my friends, my single friends, and was like, I want your number. Give me your number.

[Leah]

So no conversation? No, none of that. It was more just very.

[Matt]

It was very straight to the point. It was very straight.

[Shirelle Rosado]

They're very direct, assertive man.

[Leah]

Okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

But did I give out my number?

[Matt]

Did you?

[Leah]

Did you?

[Shirelle Rosado]

I didn't.

[Leah]

There was no one. That piqued your interest? No.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Okay.

[Matt]

Okay. Well. Okay, we'll have to go back because I said we had a mission.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah, Ashley did say that.

[Leah]

Okay.

[Matt]

Clearly.

[Leah]

Well, that was. That was good. At least I see we see at least you went and, like, sprinkled a little essence there.

[Matt]

We'll be back. So it's fine.

[Leah]

Yeah. And I'll go this time.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Are you going to go with us for real?

[Leah]

I will.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Okay.

[Leah]

It was just a little conflict of interest with my birthday. You know, it's.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Maybe you might not want to come back. You want to be.

[Matt]

You want to be there for your birthday?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah. You want to be there. You want to be over there for your birthday.

[Leah]

So next year.

[Matt]

Next year, let's make it happen over there.

[Leah]

I love that for you all, though. I love that.

[Shirelle Rosado]

So much fun. Like, yeah. And I was telling Ashley and everyone, like, I did the ancestry DNA and I found out, like, it does a breakdown. I'm 26% Nigerian.

[Leah]

Yeah. I love that.

[Matt]

She's a Niger queen.

[Leah]

I love that.

[Shirelle Rosado]

It's beautiful. But you're gonna love it.

[Leah]

Yeah, I can't wait. I can't wait. So.

[Matt]

Yeah, I need a break, though. I'm tired.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Okay, but you about to go back on vacation.

[Matt]

I know. I got one more trip with the kids. I got, you know, I owe the kids.

[Leah]

It is just a lot.

[Matt]

So I gotta take the kids on a little spring break trip.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And then I'm sitting my ass down because I'm a fucking die.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I got to take mine too. They don't start spring break until two more weeks from now.

[Leah]

So this is the first year that I have. Three of my babies are. They're just. It's three different schedules, so nobody's going on a group trip. It'll be more individualized because they're overlapping one's. One's on spring break now. Then I have Assata coming in next weekend, then she's a good week, and then after that are the boys. So it's just all over the place. So all of March is spring break. Somebody's on spring break.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Well, that's amazing.

[Matt]

That is. It's a blessing, right?

[Leah]

It is.

[Matt]

Children are a blessing. They wearing me out, though.

[Shirelle Rosado]

They are.

[Leah]

It's never a dull moment with them. Because on spring break, do you feel like you have to put them in activities, keep them busy, or is that a time for everyone to rest?

[Shirelle Rosado]

You got to keep them busy.

[Matt]

I feel like I'm always trying to keep them busy, but I feel like for spring break, it is a time for us to, like, do something different. Like get together, do something different, get out the house, you know, go on a trip, something. Even if it's not like far. Just get them out of their environment.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Show them something different. I feel like, you know, I can speak on myself, me growing up as a child, I wasn't able to travel the world. So just showing them the world, giving them an experience that I didn't have. Yeah, I love that. It's better than just giving them money or paying for their time or putting them in a summer camp. Like, let's go, let's go. Let me show you the world.

[Matt]

That's beautiful.

[Leah]

It's hands on, hands on education. You just cannot get that back in those core memories that they'll take forever. It is. It's amazing to always travel with your children.

[Shirelle Rosado]

But Chad, he reached out to me, you know, we're still nothing like that, but we still are a family at the end of the day. And he was like, have the baby ready. So Serenity's getting her hair done and the sisters are shopping, taking all his girls on a trip. A daddy daughter, spring break. So Serenity and her sisters with their dad leaves tomorrow to go to Dominican Republic. I was like, okay, look at passports. You wanted to make it a competition, you take them to doctor. I'm taking the girls to Dubai. Oh, damn.

[Leah]

Big jump.

[Shirelle Rosado]

So Sade and Ariana both graduate in May, so their trip for me will be going to Dubai.

[Leah]

That would be fun.

[Shirelle Rosado]

All the girls, the older girls.

[Leah]

Yeah, I love that. Now, now when you travel, are the kids in first class?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Oh, no, baby, they going to be in economy. But mama go be in first class. Mama gonna be at the head and they can be at the tail.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Do your kids travel first class too?

[Leah]

They got kicked out a long time ago. Okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

They don't drink liquor.

[Leah]

They don't drink the liquor, they don't eat the food. And I mean, it's funn. They were like, why are you in first? I'm like, wait, what? Especially the boys. When they met me in Japan, they were like, it was so tight in the back. I was like, look, I don't know what to tell you, you know, and.

[Matt]

They'Re old enough now, like, they don't need to be like, right. Sitting right next to each other.

[Leah]

Exactly.

[Shirelle Rosado]

First class. I was 30 years old.

[Matt]

Exactly.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Like, no, it's a privilege. Yes. Y'all gotta work for this.

[Leah]

It's a privilege.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I'm gonna make sure y'all get there.

[Leah]

Yes, yes.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Y'all may be in the back of the plane, but y'all gotta work for this.

[Leah]

And you're right, I don't have to be under them. They're all self efficient. All the iPads are charged, the phones are charged, they sleep, they can watch whatever they want.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Okay. Nobody steal them.

[Leah]

We all in the same spot.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Leah]

So, like, what do you guys think of travel etiquette? I know, speaking of, like, traveling and these airplanes, it's real scary. Right now is a real thing, you know, travel etiquette is a big thing.

[Matt]

We might need to start teaching some lessons on the travel.

[Shirelle Rosado]

But did y'all see. And I felt like that happened to me where I seen a. A news article where the plane had to Turn around. Because the guy was excessively farting.

[Matt]

That is the same. How much do you have to be farting for them to turn the damn plane around?

[Leah]

Enough to where you people are getting.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Sick from the smell.

[Leah]

That's horrible.

[Matt]

That's awful.

[Leah]

That's awful.

[Matt]

Now I have let out a fart or two in the plane. Okay?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Oh, Ashley, I'm sorry, but we family.

[Matt]

What I did.

[Shirelle Rosado]

You remember when I was texting you and Martini, I was like, oh, y'all, I got gas. It was a food.

[Leah]

So we was on the plane. You. Well, you noticed on the altitude.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I had. I had the bubbly.

[Matt]

Listen, I had the blanket seal.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Cuz I was like, oh, my stomach is.

[Leah]

Where can you have to let it out sometimes.

[Matt]

You taking malaria pills? The malaria pills be making my stomach.

[Leah]

You're eating at weird times. The jet lags.

[Matt]

Turn the plane around. That is something.

[Leah]

So you let one out, Cherelle.

[Matt]

I had.

[Shirelle Rosado]

They was the silent ones, too. I was like, oh, my God, give.

[Matt]

Me the silent killers you got.

[Leah]

But no one, no. I think everybody just had to make that look like it's not bad.

[Matt]

I think everybody's afforded one good little. You know what I'm saying?

[Leah]

Cause that's a long flight. That's a long flight.

[Shirelle Rosado]

It is a long flight.

[Matt]

That's right.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I remember when Chad and I used to be on the plane. And it was one time where I had bad gas. And the people was looking at Chad, rolling his eyes.

[Matt]

Cause they're not gonna think that it's the woman.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And I look at her, she's so.

[Matt]

Cut, but she stank.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I'm looking at her too.

[Leah]

I'm like, that's funny. It's that. It's. That is the farting to me. It's when people take their shoes off and their feet smell.

[Matt]

Oh, yeah, that's nasty.

[Leah]

I was sitting next to a guy going from, like, cross country, and it's already a long flight. And we were on those in those kind of like the pods to where it was two. So right next. So I was like. He was. And as long where you want to rest. Because if it's like, most likely if it's a red eye, you say something to him. I. So at first, I would have said something.

[Matt]

At first I was like, you gonna make me sick.

[Leah]

I was like, is it. It has to be him, you know? Cause at first you just. It's just this overwhelming foot odor. Then I looked and I was like, yeah, I think it is. So I was like. I tapped him. I was like, sir, do you mind, like, you know, covering up your feet? And he was like. He looked at me and he was just like. Kind of gave me the shoulder and kind of, like, turned.

[Matt]

No, he didn't.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Oh, my God.

[Leah]

Because I was. But then he did end up covering up his feet with the blanket. Did it help? No. That funk. That funk penetrated that little blanket's feet. It had to be fungus. It had to be something. But I feel like people think they're at home when they're on the plane, and you forget. It's a shared space. And not only is it a shared space, it's a tiny shared space.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Leah]

And you don't pay all this money to sit in, you know, first class to be uncomfortable.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Leah]

It's just not. It's not cool.

[Matt]

It was a crying baby on my way back from Africa. It was.

[Leah]

And I. The long leg.

[Matt]

The long leg.

[Leah]

That's tough.

[Matt]

It is tough. Because I remember them days, flying with my babies, and they would be crying, and I was just like, damn, I remember them days. But I feel like you should always be, like, the type of person. Cause I will never forget this. There was this one flight. My baby was crying, crying, crying. And this old white man was like, let me help you. Let me help you with your baby. And I was like, no.

[Leah]

Like, I got it.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Cause you're just like strangers.

[Matt]

I got my baby. I'm good. And he was like, just let me help you. And I was like, no, no, no, no, I'm good. And then my baby just kept crying. Kept crying. So finally he just took. He didn't say nothing to me. He just grabbed him. And when I tell you, my baby, he just. This was Phillip when he was little. He just stopped crying just like that. And went to sleep in that man's arm. And I looked at that man, I was like, oh, my God. Like, thank you so much. I almost started crying. Cause I really was having, like, a hard overwhelm.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Cause you try to. You like, oh, what? People looking at you.

[Matt]

So I always feel like people should remember, like, you know, the mom is probably going through it right now. Like, I always look for, like, the moms who, like, need a helping hand with their strollers and, like. Cause they got so much going on where you're traveling.

[Leah]

We've been there.

[Matt]

It's a lot, you know? But in that moment in Africa, for a second, I was like, I just.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Wanna go to sleep.

[Leah]

Of course.

[Matt]

And then I had to be like, bitch, you remember? That used to be you.

[Leah]

That used to be you.

[Matt]

So don't forget. And I was like, okay, just put your headphones in, girl. Just put your headphones in and go to sleep.

[Leah]

Let's do what I do.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Ashley, we're gonna make. Create. We're gonna help Ashley create a headphones. The whole time we was in Africa, Ash, cuz the music is loud. Ashley had the earplugs.

[Matt]

Earplugs? Yes. Cuz I have sensitive ears, so it.

[Leah]

It's like heightened.

[Matt]

It's too loud for me in the.

[Leah]

I'm old.

[Shirelle Rosado]

You're not old.

[Matt]

Okay, well, I don't know, but I do not. I can't do the loud noises in the club. So if you ever see me in the club with something in my ear, just ignore it.

[Leah]

And it was super loud. Yeah.

[Matt]

So what I do, if I don't have my. If I don't have my earplugs, I will get a tissue and then I like get a little piece and I ball it up in my hand, I put it in my mouth so it can get a little wet, and then I roll it up in my hand and then I stuff them in my ears and it makes she hear better. If you try to talk to me in the club with nothing in my ear, I can't hear you. But as soon as I put them in, I can hear you. I can't hear what like so much loud debates are doing. And I know people be looking at me like I'm crazy. And I know it's annoying, but I gotta do it.

[Shirelle Rosado]

So Ashley come out with her own line of earplugs.

[Matt]

Yeah, y'all better say y'all gonna be thanking me when y'all older and y'all can hear. Cause y'all going to the club every night.

[Leah]

I just can put those maxes on, turn that noise cancellation and just max out.

[Lisa Green Lewis]

Hi, I'm Matt. And I'm Leah and we're from the.

[Leah]

Grown Up Stuff podcast.

[Lisa Green Lewis]

And just in time for tax season, on this week's episode, we're chatting with CPA Lisa Green Lewis about how small businesses can tackle their taxes using TurboTax Business.

[Matt]

A Forbes study mentioned that a whopping 93% of small businesses overpay their taxes.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And 17% of Gen Zers believed that.

[Matt]

You could write off any expense as a business expense.

[Leah]

So can't blame them.

[Shirelle Rosado]

It's really important to do your taxes right.

[Lisa Green Lewis]

Listen to Grown up stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Grown Up Stuff.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

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[Lisa Green Lewis]

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[Matt]

Happy anniversary.

[Lisa Green Lewis]

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[Shirelle Rosado]

Lex I see something different. Boo.

[Leah]

What? You see different?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Did you take your locs out?

[Leah]

I did.

[Matt]

Oh, my goodness.

[Leah]

I'm in this hair journey of right now. Well, I would say it's been a. It's been over a year of me having the locs, which I love.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I love.

[Leah]

It's something that I didn't know I was missing, you know, like in just my vibe, just my extra, like a little layer. But I'm in the stage of where they are locked. So I was. I'm in a lock reformation phase right now. So it took hours to take out the locs and now I got a deep condition and it had to cover up these grays and I'm getting them all relocked permanently tomorrow.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Oh, my goodness. Are you going to add extensions or are you just going to use your.

[Leah]

Yes, I'm going to add the extension. But like, my hair grew so much. I had so much new growth and they've already started locking. So it's just like a big step being 42 and only a week old. Like, so much is going on, you know, where I'm just like, you know, it's time and that's your crown. You know, it's very, very sacred. And so, like, I love how I feel in them. I love my vibes.

[Shirelle Rosado]

It's sexy.

[Leah]

Thank you.

[Shirelle Rosado]

It's so sexy.

[Leah]

Thank you. Thank you. So it's just my essence right now. And so. So I just wanted to make sure I was doing it the right way, the correct way. And so now I'm locking in, literally. And my boys, my boys had them for years. My oldest just cut his two years ago and then my baby still has them. So I'm just gonna be like them and just rock out.

[Matt]

One day I wanna lock my hair up too.

[Leah]

Come on.

[Matt]

So my whole family can be.

[Leah]

Yeah, you're right. You're the only ones locked up.

[Matt]

So one day when I get like, I don't know what age, hopefully I inspire.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I mean, your hair is so long.

[Leah]

It's so pretty.

[Matt]

I'ma lock it though, though.

[Leah]

You can't.

[Matt]

Nobody gonna be doing this. When I'm older in age and I.

[Leah]

Don'T feel like I like it, I go, I Just especially if we're living here in Miami.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Eventually, I want to cut all my hair off and go short.

[Leah]

Yeah, you should. It'll grow right back, too. Try it.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I had short hair before. Like a really cut.

[Leah]

We need. We need a picture. We need some evidence, because I don't like.

[Matt]

I got a question. I got a question.

[Leah]

Sure.

[Matt]

Okay. So what do you guys feel about men feeling like they have a say, so what their woman does with their hair? Do they. Do you do. Do we need to get permission for them to make a big hair change if we want to do a big chop if we wanna lock up? How do you feel about that?

[Shirelle Rosado]

I think I say yes. You know what's funny?

[Leah]

It's like a conversation.

[Shirelle Rosado]

No. Before we go into this. So I was on a plane coming back from Africa, and this guy was sitting next to me, and we were having a conversation. We was talking about everything. And he was like, is that your real hair? And like, no, I have extensions. And he was looking at it, and he was like, I hate. I hate women who wear the lace front. He. He said, it's okay, but if it. If it looks crazy, I don't like it. And the other thing I don't like is the smell of.

[Matt]

Not the smell.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Because, you know, some hair stinks. It has, like a.

[Leah]

It does have a particular smell, a.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Horrible smell to it. And I said, I understand where you're coming from. Like, that was his pet peeve. I said, I totally understand where you're coming from because I hate that smell, too. And I hate seeing when the. The lace fronts are just lifting and it ain't done right.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

So I feel you with a. With your man. If they don't like that, I feel like you should take heed to what they're saying. That's just like.

[Matt]

I don't know. I feel like. Like if he met me with my hair like that and he liked me enough to come and say hello and want to take me out and blah, blah, blah, blah, then I feel like. Then he gotta deal with it. But I feel like if he met me and I was natural and then maybe I switched over, then we could have a conversation about it, but I don't think he necessarily has a say in it. Like, you can let me know. I don't prefer that, but that's fine because I like this.

[Leah]

So I think that's what I would. I would.

[Shirelle Rosado]

No, but I feel like. Like what I was taking from your question is, okay, what if you. Okay, your man met you. Met me with A problem.

[Matt]

But you just met him on the plane. So that's why I was saying that. But what if this is your man.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And you want to do a big change?

[Matt]

You going to do a big change?

[Leah]

Because it has to be a big change. Has to be.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I would consult with. Hey, bae, I think. I think I'm going to try this. What do you think about it?

[Leah]

I like that.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Get their opinion.

[Leah]

I think that's a good way to approach it. Like, especially, that's your man. You know, y'all have this dialogue. Y'all are friends. You have the conversation. And going off of how he met you, that's what attracted to him, to you in the first place. So what A big change like, that comes sometimes, a life change, too. You know, something could have triggered the haircut. It could have been anything, because it is. It's a moment of your spirituality, your soul switching off because you want to change something. And to your all's point, like, my swag switched up a little bit with the locks and the vibes. So, like, low key. The right partner would have to handle that. You know what I'm saying? If that's the case. But low key. I was talking to one of my friends about it. I was like, what do you think of it, like, you know, if I. He was like, don't cut the locks. He was like, you need to consult your man if you gonna cut them locks off. Cause that shit's dope, like. And I was like, I kind of get that, you know, But I would definitely have that conversation. But I know that's what, like, is part of your vibe or your essence. So it is a part of who you are, you know?

[Shirelle Rosado]

So how your friend feel about them locks being gone? Temporarily.

[Leah]

They'll be back tomorrow. Don't worry.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Did you FaceTime them?

[Leah]

Not yet. Not yet.

[Matt]

Well, I mean, but, you know, look.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Ladies, I'll be talking about your friend. They'd be like, let me go back to this. Somebody coming in and was like, let me go back to this.

[Leah]

People think they're detectives. You'll never know. You'll never.

[Shirelle Rosado]

They would never know.

[Leah]

But we, you know, it's good to have friends, friends everywhere. Guys, you know, let's just say this.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Lord, every time we talk about that friend that them cheeks get red, that smile get big.

[Leah]

Can we change the top? What you talking about?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Hair?

[Leah]

Okay.

[Matt]

You brought a friend up. Don't be shy now.

[Leah]

You should have said a friend, like, you know, but we know what that.

[Shirelle Rosado]

We know what that mean.

[Matt]

When you.

[Leah]

Them locks Gonna be back in tomorrow.

[Shirelle Rosado]

So you can pull on them real crazy.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Leah]

Well, yes.

[Matt]

I don't know. I'm thinking about, like, if Phil ever cut his locks, because I met him, I've only known him with locks.

[Leah]

Yeah. It goes both ways. Even with the guys. Can you imagine that?

[Matt]

No, I cannot.

[Leah]

Because they have facial hair changes.

[Matt]

I can't imagine him cutting to grow.

[Leah]

A beard or not to grow a beard. To go bald or not to be bald or.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I couldn't see Chad with any hair.

[Matt]

I can't see him with hair either.

[Shirelle Rosado]

No.

[Leah]

Cause, like, can he grow hair?

[Shirelle Rosado]

He can grow hair.

[Leah]

I mean, I was. No shade.

[Matt]

I used to be.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I used to be his barber.

[Leah]

Really? So he chooses. He's choosing to be bald.

[Shirelle Rosado]

He look better bald, too. I don't think he would look right.

[Leah]

You like bald guys, Sherrelle?

[Shirelle Rosado]

I mean, I liked when we were together. I liked that bald head man.

[Matt]

But okay.

[Leah]

But yeah, so I think it's also for men and women too. I think you should consult if it's a big change.

[Matt]

Yeah, but I don't like a man asking if my hair is real or not. I feel like that's rude.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Especially for you as a black woman.

[Matt]

Exactly. But you felt okay with that man asking you that? What, on a plane, he was like.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Is this your real hair? I didn't think too much of it. I was like, like, I mean, I got some extensions in here.

[Matt]

Yeah. I don't like that. But, you know, I'm old school when it come to that. Like, you shouldn't. Back in the day, I'm like, I. Like back in the day when, like, we didn't know what you had going on in your head. But now it's like everybody, it's like a flex to be like, I got that 30 inch bust down, blah, blah, blah.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Right.

[Leah]

Because it's an accessory. You know, we've embraced hair culture now. We've embraced locks.

[Matt]

And I'm not mad at the workplace. I don't know.

[Leah]

The love journey. Yeah.

[Matt]

Like, don't worry about it.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Your hair is beautiful.

[Matt]

Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Don't worry about it. You know what I'm saying?

[Leah]

Yeah, yeah, I understand what you're saying.

[Matt]

Yeah. I don't know. I guess I'm old school, but don't see what I got going on in here. It's nothing I bought. But all y'all want to know, and no, you can't touch it.

[Leah]

But, you know, you know, especially. Let me just be 100. You know, we prep for a trip for the protection of our hair. So whether it's braids, whether it's a deep condition or something.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Leah]

We gonna switch it up. Up for convenience, you know, So I feel like, you know, they shouldn't be asking. No one should be asking, like, why? You got that? Why are you doing that right now?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Shirelle Rosado]

So Ashley don't like about people asking about her hair.

[Matt]

Don't ask me about my hair, okay? If it look like it's mine, it's mine, period. Okay? Don't ask me no questions.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And if you ask me it's mine because I bought it, period.

[Leah]

And that's that.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And.

[Matt]

And Lex. But it locks up.

[Leah]

And no, you can't touch it. And no, you can't touch it.

[Matt]

No, you can't touch it, period, Period.

[Shirelle Rosado]

So do not ask a woman about their hair. No.

[Leah]

Let her come to you.

[Matt]

All right, y'all, now it's time for our favorite time. It is the humble baddies mail time. Period. All right, who do we have today? This week's mail is from Dominique.

[Leah]

Hey, Dominique.

[Matt]

She says, y'all, I'm stuck. So I'm currently going through a divorce. And guess who else is my high school sweetheart.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Ooh.

[Matt]

We recently connected after six years, and the vibes are still there. It's like no time has passed. Now here's the dilemma. We both want to give this a real shot once our divorces are finalized. But he's in the military, which means we will be starting off this relationship long distance. And let me tell you, I hate long distance. But I've loved this man for 12 years. So what do I do? Do I dive in and make it work, or am I setting myself up for heartbreak? Help me out, humble baddies.

[Leah]

Dominique.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Dominique. Well, I'm gonna tell you, like this, girl. You are just coming out of a relationship, right?

[Leah]

Oh, she put the cards down for.

[Shirelle Rosado]

This because I just. Just got out of a relationship and.

[Matt]

Well, never mind.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Go ahead and. What?

[Matt]

Nothing.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Say it.

[Matt]

Uhuh.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Say it.

[Matt]

No, I was.

[Shirelle Rosado]

No, say it.

[Matt]

Spoke prematurely. Go, go. Okay, okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Listen, honey. Dominique, focus on you. Heal you. Do whatever it is to make sure that you're happy, because what you don't want to do is get into another relationship. I don't know why you guys are ending your relationship, going through a divorce, but you need that healing time, and that's on some serious like, find out what makes you happy. And because you don't want to bring whatever it is from your previous relationship, it had to be Something because y'all are going through a divorce into this new relationship. If he's been your high school sweetheart and you still have feelings, take it slow. Like, you can communicate with him. You still can date him and date others, but find out what it is that you want, because it may seem like it's happy and butterflies right now.

[Leah]

But it can be just the honeymoon stage. Right?

[Shirelle Rosado]

Right. It can be something to, like, a temporary void. So you don't want to make. You want to make sure it's not that temporary void. So focus on you. Do you date a little bit, and then we'll see where it leads to. That's my opinion.

[Leah]

I agree and disagree. Y'all know I'm the hopeless romantic. Um, I feel being being a divorcee, I feel like people do have an expiration date. And I also believe in Define divine timing. I agree with you saying you need to heal, and you also need to focus on yourself, because that's one thing they do have in common, is one. They are familiar with each other, but it's a different stage in life. They have both been through traumatic events, meaning like a marriage and a divorce and military. Y'all both know how that is. So that can also be taxing on just the mental and just really just an additive of what the healing journey is. So you're adding that. And plus, you're. You're adding still trauma from the previous relationship. If there was infidelity, if there was financial reasons, whatever the cause of divorce between those parties were. So I agree with healing, but I also believe in, again, the timing is perfect in their own way so they can heal together.

[Matt]

I feel. I like. I like both these answers. I feel like you can't go wrong with any either one of these answers. But I feel like with some of these questions, you know, y'all be knowing the answers, I feel like. Right. And y'all just be wanting to code.

[Shirelle Rosado]

So you still married? Girl, we don't been married. Divorce.

[Leah]

I done been married.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Divorced.

[Matt]

Like, it's like y'all be knowing what to do.

[Leah]

We have some life.

[Matt]

Look, this is my husband calling out.

[Leah]

See, we have some life experience, you know, in that way.

[Matt]

So, yes, I'm filming mama at work.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Phil, we filming.

[Leah]

We filming. We at work. Hey, Phil.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Phil, answer the question. Have Phil answer the question. Yes.

[Matt]

Can you answer this question? We have a question from a humble baddie. Can you answer it? The question is, this girl Dominique, she just got a divorce, but she reconnected with her old high school sweetheart after six years.

[Leah]

They're both going through divorce.

[Matt]

They're both going through a divorce. And they just rekindled. But he's in the military and they want to get in a relationship, but it's going to be long term because he's in the military. What should she do?

[Leah]

Long distance.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Put it. Put it towards the mics. It depends on what are they going.

[Leah]

To be long distance, you said?

[Matt]

Yeah, it's going to be long distance.

[Leah]

I don't know. I don't think that's gonna work.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's what I said.

[Shirelle Rosado]

That's what I said.

[Matt]

I said. They be writing these questions knowing the answer. They just want us to co sign some. That's the answer. Okay, thank you, babe. Love you. I'm gonna call you in about 10 minutes. We're gonna be done. Okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

All right.

[Matt]

Okay, bye. Bye.

[Leah]

I love that male's perspective.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yeah. Yes. You know, it ain't gonna work. It's just gonna work. A temporary healing because they both need to heal.

[Leah]

I agree.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And see what they really want. It feels good and it sounds good for the moment.

[Matt]

It. Yeah, but. But it's not going to work.

[Leah]

Well, maybe they can heal together.

[Matt]

Dominique is not going to work.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Bab.

[Leah]

Girl, we don't know if it's not going to work. Dominique.

[Matt]

Dominique, go. And. And.

[Leah]

But I say date them all.

[Shirelle Rosado]

I always say date them all, sis. Date them all.

[Matt]

Do all the.

[Leah]

He could be top one. But.

[Matt]

But this ain't it. Just know that. Okay.

[Leah]

And that's okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

It's okay.

[Matt]

Girl.

[Shirelle Rosado]

You see me over here glowing and having fun.

[Matt]

We can't co sign everything.

[Leah]

All of us.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Matt]

But anyway, thank you for writing us over here at the Humble Baddies.

[Leah]

Thank you so much.

[Matt]

We appreciate you and all your questions. If y'all have advice that y'all need, please feel free to write us. As always, thank you for sending in your messages. If you're facing a situation or need advice on something happening in your life, we'd love to hear from you.

[Leah]

Yes.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And where can they contact us?

[Matt]

Send us an email at. Contact humblebaddies.com and we may feature your submission on the show.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Period.

[Matt]

So we look forward to hearing from you guys.

[Shirelle Rosado]

All right, you guys, that is it for another episode of Humble Baddies. Make sure you follow us at Humble Baddies on Instagram. Humble Baddies podcast on Instagram. Subscribe to us on YouTube. Humble Betty's podcast on all platforms.

[Matt]

Say your Snapchat, y'all. We've been trying to get our Snapchats.

[Leah]

Oh, I need to get mine going.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Yes.

[Matt]

Don't forget. There you go. It's that chat that. Okay.

[Shirelle Rosado]

And then you can also follow me at Charelle Rosado Underscore on Instagram on my Snapchat. Cherelle Rado. Make sure y'all follow me because I'll be putting some tea on that and on my Twitter, Cherelle Rosado Underscore, period.

[Matt]

Okay, so you can find me at Ashley Nicole on Instagram, on snap. I'm ash3nicole, and I think I'm Ashley Nicole on Twitter. But I. I ain't mastered Twitter yet. Y'all gotta work with me on that one one.

[Leah]

And you can find me just on Instagram. That's where I'm at. Come see me Alexis St. And then I'll be on Snap with them. And then I'll have some good tea on there. That'll go away in 24 hours. Why not?

[Matt]

All right, y'all, thank you so much for tuning in to Humble Baddies. We'll see you next time. Love you.

[Shirelle Rosado]

We Love y'all.

[Matt]

It's.

[Shirelle Rosado]

CBS, Monday, February 24th. Introducing the new daytime drama beyond the Gates.

[Leah]

Welcome to Fairmont Crest Estates, where the.

[Shirelle Rosado]

Wealthy and glamorous Dupree family rules the community with poise and sophistication.

[Leah]

That is, until a cheating husband and.

[Shirelle Rosado]

His trophy wife start stirring up trouble. Find out what happens beyond these majestic.

[Leah]

Gates and behind closed doors where scandal, romance, betrayal, passion, secrets and revenge await. CBS Daytime is about to get soapier.

[Shirelle Rosado]

The new daytime drama beyond the Gates premieres CBS Monday, February 24th and streaming on Paramount.

[Alexis Stoudemire]

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