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Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast
How to Become the Person You Want to Be with Mimi Bouchard | Clutterbug Podcast # 293
01:00:53
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- [00:00]
A
Hey, guys, welcome back to the Clutterbug podcast. We're talking about one of my favorite things to talk about, and that is manifestation. Question mark. I mean, it's not really manifestation. We're talking about how to actually have the cool, awesome life that you're craving, like to get the things you want. And it isn't about working harder. It's honestly about changing the way you talk to yourself. Because whether you know it or not, you have a lot of negative self talk that's causing you to self sabotage, that's putting roadblocks between what you and you really want. And there is a strategy, a real life strategy to overcome that, to change the narrative and to actually achieve all the incredible things you want to achieve. And today we're interviewing an expert, Mimi Bouchard. And I heard about Mimi because she created an incredible app called Activations that literally is. It's like a combination of meditation and like, manifestation. I'm not a huge fan of meditation. I don't even know if I can say I'm not a huge fan. I think I've tried it like twice in my life. I just don't love the idea of sitting still and being quiet. There is times I've lit candles and put on relaxing music and like Omnominum, you know, in the corner. I've tried it. Guess what? It lasts about five seconds. I feel ridiculous. And it just does not work for me. I will say that. I'm not saying. I'm not saying meditation doesn't work. I'm saying it doesn't work for me only because, like, I don't. I don't do it. I don't enjoy the process. So I'm not about to sit there quietly and do it. It just doesn't feel right. But if it feels right for you and it works for you, awesome. I am not against it. I'm just saying everybody needs different things. And for me, I needed an alternative to meditation. But I will say that focusing on goals and changing the way I talk to myself did work. And I didn't have to do it through, you know, oming and lighting candles and chanting. I did it through repeating mantras and listening to other people give me these little pep talks, you know, get up, be awesome. Today's the day you seize your life by the gonads kind of stuff. It was. It works. It really does, because it replaces your negative. Oh, it's not fair. Life is hard. Why is everything so with really positive, motivating, encouraging self talk? And that is the true Secret behind manifestation. It isn't magic. It's all about how you talk to yourself. Just like always, before we get started, I want you to get up and take action to make yourself proud. You are not going to sit around and just listen to this because you, you are better than that. Get up and let's do something awesome. Let's focus on clothing today. I don't want dirty or clean clothes on your bedroom floor. I certainly don't want them in the living room. Okay. No, you're gathering all the clothes today. The dirty clothes, go somewhere to be washed. The clean clothes, I want you to start putting them away. All of it. We are going to have like 40 minutes together. You can do it fast. You don't got to fold if you don't want to. We're not just sitting and folding either. I want you to literally put away, put things on hangers. If they're not folded, fold as you go and put it into the drawer. Like, no, we're not sitting and having la la fold for hours. We are putting clothing away. And if your drawers are full, what's leaving? It's the change of the season. It is almost 2026. Come on, man. You deserve a space where all of your clothing is away. And tonight when you go to bed, you're going to look around and breathe that sigh of relief because you've caught up on something or right now, you're catching up on your clothing. You're decluttering, you're putting it away. No more excuses, no more victim. What are you waiting for? Jump in. Hi, Mimi, and welcome to the Clutterbug podcast.
- [03:58]
B
Hi, Cass. I'm so excited to chat with you today. I love your show.
- [04:02]
A
I'm very excited to chat with you because I have so many questions. But I also do want to talk about the power of positive self talk. And I'm dealing with this right now, with working with a client. But before we get into all of that, I would love to have you tell my listeners a little bit about yourself.
- [04:21]
B
Yes, for sure. Well, I am a self development junkie. I like to say I've been very much so in the personal development world for over a decade now. I significantly changed my life over that time, and I now help others do the same. I'm an author. I just released my first book with Hay House earlier. Earlier this year. It's called activate your future self. Whether it is someone going through a transition in their life or whether it's someone wanting to overhaul every single category, my work really helps bridge the Gap between science and spirituality and is a very pragmatic approach to visualization and, you know, really helping people step into that future self. I call it.
- [05:07]
A
Do you. You said you had a transformation. Do you feel comfortable sharing? Like, has your life always been you? Before we started recording you live part time in the Bahamas or most time in the Bahamas. And I'm like, you have this idealic, incredible life. Was it always this way?
- [05:24]
B
Oh, I designed this life, and it was definitely not always this way. I have crafted the life I live today through this work. So, yeah, I live in the Bahamas most of the year. I have a home in London. But no, it all started, like I mentioned, about a decade ago. I was actually in a completely different place. I was lacking in every area from mentally, physically, spiritually, socially, financially. I felt like I needed a complete life overhaul. And that essentially led me to this work because I was extremely depressed and I was unhappy with where I was. And yeah, I kind of hit rock bottom, to be honest with you. And I realized if I didn't take control and start changing things now, then I would go down a path I didn't want to go down. We can all tune into that little voice inside of us, you know, that says that we're meant for more. And I have committed to listening to that voice and honoring that voice and showing up as the version of myself that I want to be and, you know, honing in on visualization practices, on, you know, really reprogramming my mind and rewiring old thoughts and beliefs. A lot of this work is about self image psychology. It's about how to change your life. You have to first change your self image because then it makes all the other things so much easier to do. Once you just change your self image first. You know, personal development can be so complicated for so many people. It was for me. So the work that I teach is really simplifying it and just talking about what actually works and how you can feel a shift very quickly.
- [06:57]
A
Oh, I like this. Because it does feel complicated Hearing you talk about this. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what about, like, what are the three steps that someone can do to change their life today? Like, it sounds wonderful to just be intentional and go out and, and, and change your thoughts, but this is harder than it sounds, or it can be, or it's perceived to be maybe harder than it sounds. And I just want to talk really quickly about how I'm seeing this in my own business with, when working with clients. Every time I'm working with someone who's really struggling with the physical clutter and the mess and the motivation. The whole time we're talking about the stuff, they're just talking about how awful they are. They're like, I don't have the time. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm bad at this. I can't make decisions. It's hard for me to let go. No one supports me. And I spend the whole time just trying to build them up. And I think that is maybe the secret under there. We get, we get trapped in these negative self talk spirals that we don't even know we're doing. So is this what you're really talking about when you talk about visualization and changing your life? Is it changing the way you talk to yourself?
- [08:22]
B
Yeah, well, that's one aspect of it. And on the topic of cleaning, I'm a big believer that your external environment is a reflection of your internal environment with your self image. Think about it this way. If you identified as the type of person, person that kept her space organized and really valued, feeling clear minded, clean and on top of it. If you identified as the type of person that was like that, it would be so much easier for you to actually do those things in the moment. So that's really the work that I teach. And I totally understand what you're saying when it comes to this all sounding complicated and hard, but really it doesn't have to be so. So you mentioned a three step formula. I actually have a two step formula. If you want me to share it with you.
- [09:11]
A
I do. Two steps is better than three.
- [09:14]
B
Exactly. It's really simplifying it all. So the first step to transforming any area of your life is clarity. You must first get crystal clear on the vision of your future self. Who is she? How does it feel to be in her body? What, what is her posture like? What is her environment like? How does she dress? How does she hold herself? What thoughts does she think? And most importantly, how does it feel in your body to be her? What does it feel like to act as if you are already her? To live in her presence. And once you have clarity on that, step two is becoming. You must then step into that version of you before the material comes into existence. Existence. You must first act as if and fundamentally teach yourself how to be this version of yourself in everyday moments. Familiarizing yourself with her energy, with her posture, with how she speaks, with her demeanor. And the more that you hone in on becoming, the more that your self image will start to rewire. You start to actually begin acting like her thinking, like her making different decisions that she would make. And ultimately if you continue this process again and again and you remember to bounce back after you've fallen off track and to keep showing up as your future self, it is just a matter of time until you begin to actually see those results physically in your world. So that's my two step formula. There's so much in there, I can tell you so much of the science behind how this actually works. It's not magic, it's not, you know, spirituality in the, the sense of thinking something and, and the law of attraction makes it pop up in front of you. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is real neuroscience. What I'm talking about is when you begin to flood your brain with new information in the form of visualization. And the trick is to do it with your eyes open, right? So with your eyes open in these mundane everyday activities like you know, loading the dishwasher, putting your makeup on in the morning, getting ready, walking the dog. If you can listen to something that helps you step in to this future self version of you in these everyday moments, that is when you're going to start seeing your growth supercharged because you're taking advantage of classical conditioning. You know Pavlov's dog theory. Pavlov rings the bell, the dog salivates. We've all heard of that. Well, you're essentially taking advantage of classical conditioning when you start to pair new thoughts and beliefs with everyday actions. So that's the simple part of this work is that it doesn't have to be this big thing that you put on your calendar. One day I'm going to transform. It can actually be something that you do in your everyday life that you don't need to carve out an extra 20 minutes of your day for. You can habit stack this practice and it is designed for busy people.
- [12:20]
A
I love that you talk about clarity because I do think this is something that I've always been a big supporter of too. When I ask people like what is your big goal? Or what are you working towards? Most of the time it's a blank stare back. Like people don't actually have goals, big or small, they're just kind of living this day to day. And I became a big believer in like dreaming big. And not only just dreaming big, like I have a vision board not for some universe magical thing, but as that constant reminder of what's important to me. I am very clear on what I want out of my life. And I do Think that, that. I love that you said that that was the first step, because I do believe that that changes everything. If you don't know where the end goal is, how do you know which path to take to get there? Right.
- [13:16]
B
Exactly. And it's something that is so actionable when people are feeling very stuck. You know, we've all been there, feeling stuck, stuck, not knowing what to do, just knowing that we want to change something in our lives. The first thing you can do, which is the first step, clarity. It is just really mapping out that vision. It gives you something actionable to do, and it really just gives you a direction. You cannot do any other step. You cannot, you know, embody your future self if you don't even know who your future self is. You cannot, you know, have a healthy, happy body if you don't even know what that looks like or feels like. You know, you cannot have a clean, organized home if you don't even know what it feels like to be someone that is clean and organized. So it is the first step. You just have to get crystal clear. And do not procrastinate on this step. I'll tell the audience, because a lot of people will actually never get to step two because they want to make step one perfect.
- [14:16]
A
So.
- [14:17]
B
But the truth is, you can always go back and change that goal post. But the biggest thing is starting having a clear vision and then just going with it. I can't even tell you how many times over the past decade I have changed that goal post. You just have to keep going in that direction, and the more you grow, the more you'll realize, okay, maybe I need to adjust this thing about my vision, but you got to keep going in that direction. Take charge of your. The clarity. Because even if you feel confused now, all you need to do is commit to yourself for one afternoon to put all distractions away. Whether that's put your phone on, do not disturb, whether that's carve out two hours in your calendar. Sit down. I would say bring out your journal. I think writing is incredibly powerful when it comes to gaining clarity. And just brain dump every vision you have, the feelings you want to feel, what it actually is like being that version of you now and really calling that in by putting it on paper. That is step one. And it's actually not that hard. You can do it today, you can do it this week. It's not something that you need a big, you know, massive, like, you know, time out of your calendar to do. You can do it now. There's no excuses.
- [15:33]
A
I Love that. Yeah. And you're so right. It's powerful to put it on paper. So grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down that vision for yourself. You want to be a clean and organized person. And I love that you're talking about it's yourself and not just your home. Because oftentimes our goal is to have a clean and tidy home, which is something that like, can be done in a day but then undone. But being a clean and organized person is long lasting. So when we take it off the like, you know, I want to have a million dollars and I want to be a financially stable person. Those are two very different things. And I think we do have to get clear on ourselves and who we want to be. And grabbing a piece of paper and just writing that down has so much power. So, yeah, awesome.
- [16:26]
B
I love that so much. And what you just said about the financial goal, you know, I'm such a big believer in that. You need to actually feel what it feels like to have that wealth and prepare for it before it comes. We have so many abundance, wealth focus activations in the app. And you're so right to say that it's about your identity around finances. It's like, I'm a wealthy person. That means that you hold on to wealth and you save wealth and you invest wealth. So I urge people before they have that amount of money that they, that they want in the bank account, you know, before that actually occurs, you need to know how much you're going to invest. You might even want to open up those investment accounts, how much you're going to put away every month, whether that's giving to family or a charity, how much you want to spend on a new wardrobe, how much you want to save. You know, you gotta get clear on all of these things. There's a reason why I think there's a crazy statistic like 70% of lottery winners lose it within the first five years. There's a reason why. It's because they have no idea how to handle money. Their identity is not one of someone who is good with money. So one of the best things that I did, because I didn't come for Moneycast, my parents were struggling artists growing up. We had a very insecure financial, you know, feeling constantly in the household. There were bankruptcies, it was remortgaging the house. Like it was a lot of, of that growing up. And I think that was probably what motivated me to become financially free myself. And I had to really look at those patterns within myself and become a wealthy person before ever making my wealth. And I always will tell people when they are trying to visualize their future self, you need to know what it feels like. And you have to be comfortable with the feeling of having a lot of money before it comes. Because if not, you're going to just, you know, unconsciously start spending and not actually be able to hold on to that amount.
- [18:28]
A
Yeah, I, I mean, I had a similar story. I really struggled financially. I was homeless for most of my teen years and then just working dead end jobs, always broke, using credit cards. I claimed bankruptcy at 24. And I read some finance books and over and over again and it changed the way I thought about money. And I started telling myself like, I'm a, I'm a frugal person, I'm a person who saves. And, and then just repeating this over and over and thinking of myself in this way really did mean that I would pause before I bought something and say, I'd rather have the money. The money's more important. Money's job is to make me money. And that was a change in my brain that I did. I. Money was to buy things. But. But at my brokest, I started thinking about money as a tool to earn me more money, even though I had like, you know, $10 in the bank. And it grew into what it is today. So really, really good advice. Thank you.
- [19:33]
B
You're incredible. That's a great story. I love your story. That's amazing.
- [19:38]
A
Thank you. I love your story. I wasn't as efficient as you at making it happen, but when I was going from crazy to trying to get my home under control, I just started repeating mantras to myself like, you deserve a clean kitchen.
- [19:53]
B
Yes.
- [19:53]
A
You will not settle for waking up to a messy kitchen. And I did not believe that at first. I really didn't. And honestly, when I would say I deserve a beautiful, clean house, it used to make me cry. I would say it out loud and then I would cry because I, I didn't believe it. Question mark. How weird is that? But repeating this thing that I didn't actually believe, somewhere along the line, like I started to actually believe it. And I think this is what you're saying. And I love the idea of an app because it is hard to remember to do this. It's hard to catch those. We're in a habit of thinking these negative things and it's really hard to catch those times when we're doing that and then consciously change the way we talk to ourselves. So having an app kind of do it for you Sounds lovely, my friend. That was a reminder.
- [20:44]
B
Thank you, Cass. It's honestly just a reminder. And listen, you don't need this app to do it, but I'm just, it's just a shortcut tool that, that I created that has helped over a hundred thousand women at this point. But really you can remind yourself in this moment. All you need to do is remind yourself to be her. Now that is the three word mantra that I told myself when I was transforming. And it is something that really simplifies this entire work of transformation. I think it's my version of Nike's just do it. You know, just be her. Now if you do any, you don't need to do this big crazy thing. How it feel to just be your future self now, to be the version of your, of you that has all those things that you want, that lives that life that you desire. What would it be like just to be her now it's this fun, simple way to hack this personal development, right? And you know, I've tried transforming in other ways. When I first began this personal development journey, the first two years of my journey, I was doing all the things that everyone was telling me to do. I was reading all the books, watching all the Tony Robbins Seminars on YouTube. And this was 11 years ago, before self help and personal development was cool. And I was really trying to do everything that all of these quote, experts were telling me to do. And I was feeling a little bit different. I was waking up in the morning and maybe feeling some menial changes, but it wasn't happening fast enough. I wanted quick change. I needed a life overhaul. So I started to learn about neuroscience and I started to learn about visualization and how when you think new thoughts, you're literally firing and wiring new neural pathways in your brain. And I thought to myself, okay, how do I do that? I need something that will remind me to visualize and think these new thoughts and practice being the version of myself I wanted to be. And meditation didn't work for me. I felt like it was a bit boring for me at the time. I didn't want to want to carve out 20 minutes out of my day and sit and clear my head. I needed something energizing, Cass. I needed something that would invigorate me and motivate me and make me feel this like, aliveness so intuitively. One day, I remember I was in my 200 square foot studio apartment and I whipped out my voice memo app on my phone and I recorded the first activation. It was a conversational guided visualization pep talk thing. And then I put it into GarageBand on my computer and I layered in cinematic movie moment music. And I created this audio file that I could listen to while I was doing the dishes, while I was walking to the gym, while I was, you know, getting ready in the morning. And then I became addicted to creating these audios. And it was like a bell curve. I can't even tell you if you think about it like a graph. The few years that I was doing all the other things I thought I was supposed to be doing, the morning routine, the this, that, spending hours a day on my personal growth, I actually wasn't seeing tangible results in my life. I wasn't making more money, I wasn't happier. I wasn't improving my health and my body. I wasn't improving to the. The rate I wanted to be. And then if you think about it like a graph, you know, is very, very slowly growing. And then the moment I started listening to this new, unique type of visualization audio and daily moments activations, it was this bell curve. It was like the growth went up like this. And I realized that it was the missing link because I actually was doing less than before, but I was transforming faster because it was more realistic. It wasn't this big thing. I wasn't hurting myself to try to get there. I was enjoying the process. Therefore, I did it more often. And I could go on for hours about how life is just so much better. You know, really understanding that this is. This is how I wanted to live. You know, I wanted to be happy and I wanted to feel clear. I know so many people can resonate with that.
- [24:44]
A
Yeah. And I can resonate with that. I think it's so true. You're just replacing your, the. Maybe the negative talk that you didn't even know you were having with this positive, uplifting, motivating. And without even trying, you're becoming who you wanted to be, which is. I'm all for the easy shortcuts. So. Sold, my friends. Sold. This is so good. Okay. Amazing. I do want to ask though, like, like tech. You're, you're like, you developed an app, you're doing all this techie stuff. Do you have a tech background? Because this is predominantly like a male dominated.
- [25:20]
B
Yeah.
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C
Field.
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A
And here you are and you look so young and you're just doing all these amazing things. I have a baby natural for you.
- [25:30]
B
Thank you. My baby face I used to hate. But now, you know, it's. It's good. But. No, it's a good question because it is A male dominated space. And I have definitely been in situations within, in this industry where I've been taken advantage of. You know, I'm. I've definitely had situations where I had to learn quite quickly and think quick on my feet. But I've now had the business for four and a half years and I have an incredible team. I did not have a tech background before, but I've always been an entrepreneur my entire life and yeah, so I've very much so been the type of woman where it's like, throw spaghetti at the wall, see what sticks, you know, try everything. And I've tried a lot. I've failed a lot. And I think at the end of the day, the success behind this business is really the fact that it's genuinely helping so many people, you know, a lot of people. Well, everyone actually knows about meditation and it's great to calm your nervous system. I have nothing against meditation. It just I get bored as easily. My mind works a bit too quickly. I also don't have time. This is the type of thing that people felt like they needed. So I definitely feel lucky that it's, you know, snowballed in a very organic way. But to answer your question, yeah, it's been definitely challenging and I have a team of developers, I have a team of audio engineers and composers that we use for the activations. I built like a really incredible system and I just feel incredibly proud of it. But I honestly think, Cass, that me committing myself to this, the work that I teach is reflected in the business that I own.
- [27:06]
A
I love that this started like you literally just used a voice memo. You were like, you recorded a voice memo and you saw it helped for you and you were like, maybe this can help other people do so, so good. So here. I love this so much. I feel like I've made a lot of transformations in a lot of areas of my life and I did it the way through like self help books and just repeat, repeat a lot of audiobooks. But now that I'm thinking about it, I really was just using, I was like activating parts of my brain by boring, borrowing the knowledge from other people and just listening to it over and over again, which replaced my thoughts with theirs, which is exactly what you're talking about. And I love this so much. But I will tell you, my big struggle is, is being a healthy person. I tell myself every day, listen, Mimi, help me. I say, today's the day. What would a healthy person do? And then before I know it, I'm, I'm fist deep in A bag of Skittles, Mimi. And I'm. And I'm, you know, eating brownies for breakfast. It's tough to stay consistent with the. The positive self talk, with the visualizations. So what is your recommendation for someone listening who's like, that all sounds great, but I can't stick with it. Is it just you dust yourself off and try again?
- [28:29]
B
I think you got to stop telling yourself that. It's really hard. That's the first step up. What if it actually wasn't? What if it was simply you stepping into a new self image? What if it was simply you becoming more you than ever before? Because I don't believe this work is becoming something you've never been. I believe this work is about unbecoming all the layers of what you're not and really revealing the true self. Your future self is your true self. It is your best self. And I believe deeply that that little voice inside of us that I was speaking about earlier, that's our true self coming through. So if your true self self is saying, cass, I want to be a healthy person, I want to wake up and crave my green smoothie, I want to wake up and, you know, really want to put myself first. And of course, it's fine to have Skittles sometimes. Of course, you know, it's fine to not be. And perfection is not the goal, by the way. It's just what we do regularly. What is our identity, our self image? Think about it like a thermostat on the wall, okay? That thermostat is your identity, your self image. If your health, you know, is set at 70 degrees, the minute that something happens, for example, if you open up the window and cool air comes in, the heater is going to come on because your, your whole being wants to stay at that 70 degree mark. So, for example, you know, you might have brownies for breakfast, but maybe your self image is like, okay, I'm not going to have pizza for lunch then, because you're at a 70, but maybe if you were at a 60, you know, brownies for breakfast, then pizza for lunch, and then, you know, right? So you have a standard for everything in your life. And this also calls for financial as well. You have to first up your standard and set a new self image with that area of your life. And then it makes all the other bits a lot easier. So think about it this way as well. I'll give you another visual. Think about an onion. The core of the onion is your self image. Every layer on top of that is something Else like your habits, your thoughts, your beliefs, your actions. If you are just trying to change one layer, let's say your habits, and you're not trying to get to the core issue, which is your self image, it's inevitable that you're going to wake up and want to have pancakes or you know, sweets for breakfast. It's inevitable that financially, if you're not at an 80 in the finance department and you get a raise, you know, it's inevitable you're going to kind of subconsciously spend all of that and not really realize it until you get back to that number you're comfortable with. But the same goes the other way around. If you are at a 90, you know, in your health and you have takeout the night before, you're going to wake up in the morning and perhaps you're going to feel, hmm, don't feel my best right now. Maybe I'll, you know, have some yogurt and fruit for breakfast. And you kind of want to get back to that, that baseline. So that's what I would tell you. Work on your self image first and maybe something deeper is needed. Obviously you're listening to all the audiobooks and the podcast and that's amazing.
- [31:23]
C
But.
- [31:23]
B
But what have you ever visualized in deep truth with your body? And I'm not saying visualize with your mind, but visualize with your body feeling fully, full heartedly how it feels to be the healthiest, most vibrant version of you and tuning into that feeling multiple times a day. Have you done that before? Because that, I'm telling you, Cass, that's where the magic happens.
- [31:46]
A
Okay, I'm gonna give this a try and I hope all my listeners are going to think differently about whatever struggle you have. If you're listening to the Clutterbug podc, maybe it is the clutter and a messy home. I hope my listeners are feeling inspired to change the way they talk to themselves today. And yeah, it is something that I love sharing with them too. Like you are not messy, you organize differently, you are not lazy and you deserve a clean and beautiful home. So thank you again Mimi, so so much. It's lovely to see someone who like is actually doing it and, and proving it by living this incredible life. We hear a lot about meditate and oh, just think positive thoughts and it'll happen from like trust fund babies and people who, they're sitting on their yacht telling us who are struggling. Just think positively and it'll happen. But you, you've made it, you've made it happen and you've had an incredible personal transformation. You live in the Bahamas, babe. I just. Good for you. Congratulations. It's amazing and I'm so glad you're helping other people achieve the same transformation.
- [32:58]
B
Thank you so, so much. I'm so grateful we got to chat today and I hope your listeners, you know, got something out of this convo.
- [33:07]
A
I know they definitely did. I want to take a second to thank today's podcast sponsor, Caraway. I'm going to be honest, in my slob days, I used to hide dirty pots and pans. All dirty dishes actually, like in the stove. And then I would forget and I would preheat the oven and I would melt all the plastic things or like cake on the bur old food. I've also been known to throw out a couple pots and pans that were really hard to clean because ADHD and laziness. Which is why I love my caraway cookware so, so much because it's crazy easy to clean. Plus it's non toxic so I know I'm not gonna scratch it. I also love that they're like so heavy. Makes me feel like a real chef when I'm using them. And they come in lots of beautiful colors. It's like winning all around. If you want to give caraway cookware a try, you can save 10% if you visit CarawayHome. That is 10%. This is an exclusive deal just for my listeners. Again, go to CarawayHome.com clutterbug or just use the coupon clutterbug at checkout. Caraway Non Toxic Cookware Made Modern One of the takeaways I took from this interview is just the reinforcement that habit stacking works. And habit stacking is something that you do all the time. Like it's a habit like brushing your teeth or making your bed or getting ready in the morning and stacking a habit, a new small habit that you want to start doing on top of that. And I know that this works because it works for me. Anytime I've wanted to create like a new healthy habit, I've had to stack it on top of an old one. An example that I share with you all the time is I wanted to start writing a daily to do list. I kept forgetting to do it. But when I put the pad of paper beside the coffee maker while my chai tea every morning was brewing, I took the time to write down my list because I there was no excuses. I was stacking that habit and now it's just unconscious. I do it without thinking. I also started Stacking, learning on top of things. So anytime I was cleaning the house or doing something boring, I would listen to an audiobook. I would be learning something new, changing my mindset, while also doing double duty and taking action on something around me. So I love this because it's. It's great because it kind of turns off the hard part of creating a new habit, which is self discipline and trying to remember to do it. That's the hardest part for me. But also at the end, whenever I'm done both of these things, you get that extra bonus of like, double duty. You've done two things at one time. It's like multitasking on steroids. So I think that's why I love the idea of whether you're recording, like an awesome message to yourself and you're working on changing your mindset and positive self talk. Pairing that with getting ready in the morning, pairing that with cleaning your house, pairing that with working out is literally giving you that double duty extra bonus. I like, up until now, I've got all my kind of pep talks from the Internet. So I'll go on YouTube and I'll listen to Tony Robbins or Mel Robbins or other motivational speaking, like, people telling me I'm like, I spend a lot of time trying to find the right message that I need. The idea of literally taking out my phone and recording it for myself was actually pretty genius. I love that because there are specific things, like, here's an example. I want to get fit and healthy. I am going to record on my phone. You are a healthy person. You make good choices because it makes you feel good later. Candy makes your stomach hurt, dummy. Stop eating it. It's probably not gonna be that. It's gonna be positive. But the point is, like, I can play this while I'm putting on my makeup in the morning. I can listen to these things while I'm doing something else. And then when I go to have breakfast, instead of grabbing that cheese Danish, maybe I'll grab a yogurt. You know what I'm saying? Let's just get real for one second. Let's. Let's drop some truth bombs. There are 13 weeks left. 13 weeks left in 2025. All the stuff you said in January that you wanted to do this year, did you achieve it? Have you done it? Have you met your goals? If the answer is the same as mine, it's heck, no. No, I have not. And it's scary. So there's this thing, thing on Tick Tock that I'm all into. It's called the lock in challenge. Like the locked in challenge. And I want to challenge you right now to lock in for the rest of this year. Because you only have so many years on this freaking planet, man. We don't want to waste even one. What can you do in the next three months to actually feel proud of 2025 to be like, this is the crap I got done this year and this is amazing. And it's. If I'm going to give you a suggestion and this is something I want you to think about recording on your phone too. I want you to be a person who never goes to bed with a messy kitchen. I want you to wake up every morning and be greeted by a clean, fresh start because you deserve it. You are worthy of it. In fact, I don't want you to settle like you. You are way too good to be a person who works up to dirty dishes and messages. Mess, stop it now. Queen, fix that crown. So something you can do is grab your phone and literally record. I demand respect from my home and I will wake up every day to a clean kitchen. I will not allow myself to go to bed at night with mess because I am better than that. I deserve better than that. I demand better. Better than that. I will treat myself every day to a clear and clean space. I will take 10 minutes before bed and I will give myself the gift of a clean kitchen for tomorrow's me. I am worthy. Other random stuff that you're going to record in this and it's going to be kind of along the same lines of that you do, you boo and it's going to feel weird and it's going to feel awful, awkward. You're probably gonna have to record this like 10 times. And, you know, try to talk softly in this like I am worthy. Whatever you do. The point is, listen to this while you're cooking or listen to this, you know, right before you go to bed, hit play. And I promise you this is going to be the motivation that you need. This is going to be the mindset shift that you need to actually make it happen. And what have you accomplished in 2025 after you've done this? You've become a TID, a person who craves it, a person who wants to clean their kitchen. And the only way to do that is to replace your current thoughts of I don't freaking want to wash a dish with new ones through repetition and through positive self talk. So get your phone, make a recording, you Queen. If you really don't want to record yourself, definitely you can Go check out Mimi's app activations. I'll put a link in the description. I will let you know. It is very linked, like soft and, and kind of like, you know, if that doesn't work for you, if you need a kick in the butt, I'm just gonna say you can kick your own butt. Everyone is motivated, different. And if you need that soft loving meditation, then this is exactly what you should try. Or if you need a little tough love, should I shut up and do your dishes? That's not right, but something. Now it's time for my favorite part of the podcast, which is talk to Cass, where you have submitted a question or a comment story. And we're going to start with Kristen.
- [40:47]
D
Hi Cass, my name is Kristen. I started listening to your podcast around last December, which has been really awesome for me. It also kind of got me into the realm of other self help podcasts and books and stuff, which has been, I think, a really good thing. My husband and I both have ADHD and this leads to a lot of interesting house clutter. I would say, I don't know, has to do with that. I feel like the house we live in now is a lot tidier than the house that I grew up in, yet it somehow still seems to spiral. We have a little toddler as well, so that can transfer attributes a bit. Gosh, I feel like I sound ridiculous right now and I have a cold, so it sounds really funny. But my biggest question for you is it seems like no matter what we try, we just keep stuff stacking on flat surfaces, whether that's the kitchen island, the refrigerator, the dressers. Like both of us just have this tendency to stuff stack. And I know part of that is just paring down and getting rid of stuff that we don't need, which we are working on. But I'm wondering if you have any other tips. We tried the hot lava thing. That worked for all of about like 30 seconds. So any other tips that you might have for that would be super helpful. Thank you so much.
- [42:26]
A
Ah, this is such a good question. This is one of my favorite questions. Yeah, absolutely. I have advice. Most of the time when you're putting things on flat surfaces, it's because you don't have a home for it. That's really easy and close by. So things like mail or bills that need to be paid, even your keys, your wallet, your purse, maybe wherever the home is is too far away. Like if you have to walk in another room, that's a. Heck no. So creating homes close by to where you Naturally put things down like a drop zone, a landing zone, a command center. All of these are critical. And if you've already done that and you're like, cass, I'm still not using it, that's because you've missed step two. So the first step is creating the new home for things that, again, close, easy, convenient, works with your natural, natural style. But the second step is training yourself to use it. You are in the habit of putting things on flat surfaces. That's muscle memory, babe. So to change that, we've got to create new muscle memory. And the only way to do that is through repetition. So what I would recommend that you do is set two to three alarms throughout the day, times where you know you're usually home, and literally spend, I don't even care if it's one minute, one to five minutes, not over five, picking those things up and putting it into the home again, if it doesn't have a home, we gotta make a home. But picking it up and putting it away, and picking it up and putting away. I can promise you this, after two weeks, you won't need the alarm anymore because that constant repetition will have created the muscle memory. So when you're done with a piece of paper, you walk in with the mail, instead of setting it on the counter, you're going to set it where you set it every day that you pick it up off the counter and put it away. You know what I'm saying? It works like magic. It's training yourself and. Yeah, give it a try. Now we have a question from Amy.
- [44:15]
E
Hi, my name is Amy and Cass. I really need to know, how long does it take to get out of this victim mindset where I feel like I'm the only one that cares and knows how and has the mental load and physical load of caring for this home? Now I live here. It's me and my husband and our two cats. I love my husband. He's so kind and generous and he tries. He really, really tries. I know he does. But over, especially over the last, I don't know, three years, we've been had major loss in the family, some mental and physical health challenges, Just life being relentless, you know, so the, the clutter and the schedule to tidy and clean has just gone by the wayside and it has gotten really overwhelming. But I find myself hesitating and feeling like. Like I'm the only one that is even trying. I know that's not 100% true, but you've talked about this. I. I've listened to some of your Other podcasts, which I love, and your videos and I know you've touched on this. Do you have your own little tote of tools for getting out of the victim mindset? Any mantras, rituals, any ways to kind of trick the brain to step out of that, that mindset and, and how long does it take? I just wanted to say thank you for all that you do. You're inspiring, entertaining. I love that you're authentic self shines through everything you do. Don't stop. Thank you.
- [46:24]
A
Thank you, Amy. This is again, man, these are good questions. Today I have two suggestions and I will also share a quick story with you. First suggestion is I. For me, I was really resentful for like the first 10 years of my marriage, for sure. I wanted to just murder him because he just didn't seem to care at all. And I was still working full time, plus doing all of the housework. And it was almost a deal breaker, if I'm being honest. So the first thing that really helped was me just constantly repeating, I'm doing this for me. I'm doing this because it makes me feel good. I'm not picking up after him or for him. It isn't even about him. I deserve a beautiful home and I'm cleaning it as a gift to myself. It didn't always work and there were still lots of times I wanted to throttle him. But it was helpful. Really, really helpful. The second thing is, I'm going to be real brutal here. I went to therapy and I went and saw my therapist under the guise of. I was really hoping she would give me permission to leave my husband over dishes. I know that sounds so stupid. It wasn't just dishes. It was dishes and laundry and vacuuming and cleaning toilets and all the things like, I'm like, he never helps me. Are people getting divorced over lack of housework help? It felt so like. But honestly, I was at my breaking point. So I saw this therapist and I started with, my husband never helps me. What should I do do? And she said, he never helps you. Was like, yeah, no. Like, guy hasn't cleaned a toilet and ever never helps me. And she gave me a piece of paper and she said, your homework for the next seven days is every day to find three ways that he does help you. We're going to change the narrative. And I was like, you're ridiculous. I'm not going to find anything. I'm real like, he does. The guy does nothing. He's a loaf. Okay? He's a loaf. And I went home and I was like, oh, what did he do? He put one dish in the dishwasher. Here's your parade. Like, it was like, I was really resentful. Like, I'm. I'm being honest. I came from a place of. Very close to wanting to just pull the chute on my marriage. By the second day, I was like, well, he cut the grass. By the third day, you know, I was finding three things, and it was easier to find these three things by, like, the fifth day. All I saw was all these little things that he was doing where before. Because I was in this mindset of he never does anything. That's all I saw was all the ways he wasn't helping or when I actively made myself look for ways that he was helping, suddenly that's all I saw. And something even better that I never realized. Like, literally by the end of the week, I was, like, loving on him. You know, I was like, oh, thank you so much. And this is so. I was so grateful for what he was doing that he was doing more to get the praise. Like, he was loading the dishwasher. He wasn't cleaning the toilet. Hold down now. Like, slow down. But he was doing way more than normal because, again, I was so appreciative of what he was doing. When I'm a nagging wife, my husband does even less, period. Okay. When I'm grateful for what he does do, he steps up 10 times more than normal. So that this is not. I know what you want to hear. How do you make people do things? But in my experience, this exercise, it did. It changed my relationship. It changed my marriage, and he did nothing different. Only I changed. Changed, but. But it works now. Let's have a quick note from Nancy.
- [49:57]
C
Hi, guests, this is Nancy from Camden, South Carolina. Just want to let you know I've.
- [50:03]
A
Been watching you for just a few months now.
- [50:06]
B
You have been a godsend to me.
- [50:08]
A
A definite answer to prayers. Thank you, Nancy. I love your accent so much. Oh, that was. Was awesome.
- [50:18]
B
Thank you.
- [50:18]
A
Keep up the good work. You're amazing. Now let's hear from Anonymous.
- [50:22]
C
Hey, Cass, I'm a mom of three boys, and I would love your help in figuring out how to keep our house on track. I have been listening to your podcast off and on for a couple of years now. I've implemented your strategies, and I feel like I've done a pretty good job of keeping up with things. But with three kids, it tends to be difficult to keep up to the volume of things that is always accumulating around the. The house. Whether that's artwork, piles of stuff from school, sports, kind of just all of the things that come with kids. It can be tough to keep up. And I'd really like some insight for how to organize effectively with multiple different organizational styles in the house. I am a cricut. I like everything to have a place and for it to be out of sight, out of mind. I like to know where everything is and keep it that way and put it in its spot. My son, who is 14, is a very visual person. If he puts something in a drawer, he forgets it exists. And so I have to keep all of his stuff in the bathroom out on the counter for him to do his acne face treatments. I need to keep his sports gear out and visually available to him. Him, he. Even his clothing, he will put it in a drawer and forget that it exists until it's too small for him. So I'd love to hear some strategies on what I can do for him. Specifically. I don't know exactly what type of organizing style he is. I think he's a bee, but I'm not exactly sure. And I'd love for any suggestions that you have just to organize for him because I know what works for me and I know that what works for me doesn't necessarily work for him. In addition to that, my husband is also a different organizational type. I also wonder if he's a B, but I'm not exactly sure. He likes for things to have a place, but it's a little bit more flexible than mine. It can very easily be a counter. And he's happy with that. That. Whereas I like my counters to be clear except for things that are decorative or highly used in the kitchen, for example. And he's also really bad for just leaving things as straight all over the house. So any suggestions for how to kind of balance that? Plus we have two little ones for six and three who come with their own level of chaos. And if you have any suggestions for a busy house like ours, I know you have one too too. And I would love to hear any strategies that are really useful for a house with multiple different types. Some that are visual, and then me, who is definitely hide it away. It can be really overwhelming for me to accept that they will just put their things wherever they want to. Sometimes I'm a bit of a control freak. So I'm trying to be better about that. But as. As I'm working on resetting our house again, I'd love for any tips that you have for me to really work with the different organizing styles in my house rather than forcing everyone to adhere to mine. Thanks so much. Love the show and appreciate everything you do. Bye.
- [53:42]
A
My poor cricket. Mama, I feel you. You're. You tried to be calm in that little recording, but I could feel the seething rage bubbling beneath. Yeah, that's crazy pants. So here, here's what I'm going to say. I'm going to be totally brutally honest with you. I think you should compromise to a ladybug. And usually I would say to compromise to a butterfly, but you need a break, mama. So what you would love to do is everything go into its like awesome home and everything's neat and tidy at all times. I want to challenge you to allow things to be a hot mess. Same sandwich, but in an organized basket. So what if your 14 year old son has a get ready bin where he tosses all his face things and his toothpaste is in there and his toothbrush and his hairbrush, all his crap, his deodorant, and it's all just a hodgepodge mess, but it's in a basket that's clearly labeled. And then that gets put underneath the bathroom sink or that gets put on a floating shelf so it's up on eye level so you can't see what's inside, but it's not all over the counter. And then I want you to take that same approach and like repeat it throughout your house. So whatever it is that your husband's just generally leaving out and piling, what if he could toss it into a labeled basket for that to go inside the basket? It can be kind of like fast and easy and quick to put away, but all you see is a gorgeous basket with a very clear label to make it visual. I do think that this is a solution that will work for everyone because you will be left with a house that always looks neat and tidy and put together. But also everyone knows where everything is. Everything's zoned in different homes. But they don't have to be precious about it. They don't have to be meticulous and line things up. They can chuck it like a basketball from across the room. So think open shelving, lots of beautiful baskets with big clear labels and where they're naturally setting and dropping and piling. That's probably where those basket systems should be placed really close by so they can just toss it in the basket instead of leaving it on the counter. Last week, just a reminder, I did a video in the kitchen showing how to combine different organizing styles. And we talked about, you know, how a butterfly wins and how to make things visual. I'm giving you different advice because I do feel you need maybe a little bit of a break, but still the same, like, fast, easy, macro approach. Approach. But instead of making everything visual like a butterfly, I would encourage you to embrace ladybug organization. And to finish out the day, we have two decluttering dinosaurs. These are always my favorite. Let's start with Connie.
- [56:18]
F
Hi, Cass. When my grandma got dementia and got put into a home, my mom moved into my grandmother's house and began cleaning it and taking over. And this was probably around. Around 2005. Well, she was cleaning out the fridge and she saw a block of cheese that had that old price tag sticker on it. And my mom thought.
- [56:44]
A
How long has.
- [56:45]
F
It been since they've done a price tag instead of, you know, the scanning barcode? So she looked and the cheese had expired in 1978, had been in the back of the fridge for, like, close to 30 years. Anyway, that's my obscure dinosaur kind of thing that. That has been found in the decluttering process. And thank you, Cass. I am an upholder cricket. Living amongst a bunch of butterflies that have adhd. It's very hard. And so I appreciate all the help you've given me to understand what's going on. Love you. Bye.
- [57:25]
A
Upholder cricket. Connie, calm down a little bit. Those are like. You're perfect in every way. I'm so envious. The cheese. You know what my first thought was? First I was like, ew. And then I was like, wait, aged cheese is actually worth like a butt ton of money. You probably could have sold that 30 year old aged cheese on ebay or something. I don't know. I think I feel like it's like kind of like wine. The older the better, isn't it? Isn't it? I think cheese is just moldy milk, right? I don't know. Let's move on. Now let's hear from Amanda.
- [58:01]
G
Hello, Cass, My name's Amanda. I'm calling with a dinosaur story for you. Thirty years ago, my brother had his tonsils yanked out. Most kids would ask for a sticker or maybe an extra popsicle. Not him. He asked the doctors if he could keep them like they were trophies. And they said yes. So now, like, they live forever, pickled in a jar like the world's saddest science fair project. Fast forward three decades, my brother lives overseas. But every time he comes home, somehow that jar resurfaces like a cursed family heirloom. And then he hides it. We never know where or when it'll strike. One day you're switching laundry, the next, boom. Your brother's tonsils staring at you from the shelf like two wrinkly eyeballs of doom. They've popped up in storage units, pants pantries, even beyond the couch cushions. At this point, I'm half expecting to find them in the fridge next to the pickles. Honestly, it's less souvenir from surgery and more low budget horror prank that refuses to end. One of these days, one of us will be brave enough to purge his tonsils. Thanks, Cass. Have a great day.
- [59:02]
A
Amanda, you're hilarious. I love that story. Somehow people just keep keeping gross body parts. But you made me want to. Okay, Amanda, you made me wish I would have kept my kids kids tonsils in a jar so I could just hide them all throughout the house. Hilarious. Also weird. Also, last week I got an email from a lady who kept her son's foreskin from his circumcision and wanted to know, like, if that's memory bin worthy. So can we. Let's just for a minute. Like, body parts are not something we keep for forever. That is body parts have been cut off. Like, like, like. That is not sentimental. And that is not something we need pickled in our memory bin. It's weird, my friends. Also, I've kept human teeth for years, so I cannot judge. But the point is, let's just all say no. I hope you're feeling proud of yourself. I hope you put away your clothes today. All of it. If you have random socks that are, you know, you can't find the match, throw them in the trash. If you have clothing that you're like, that won't even fit in my closet. Trash, trash. Or donate, it doesn't matter. But guess what? It's not staying on your floor. It's not staying in that laundry hamper. You're not stuff shuffling. And for the love of Peter, don't you dare have clothing in your freaking kitchen or living room or anywhere else. Shove it in your closet. I don't care. You are not going to be a person. There's a new rule for you, you, who has clothing laying around your house ever again. You've caught up. I hope you're proud. If you haven't, you still got time. Listen to it again. Hit replay. Thank you for spending time with me today. I love you guys. You're amazing. You're a warrior. Straighten that crown. I'll see you guys next time.