B (9:10)

Why?

A (9:10)

Because all of that clothing doesn't fit in the closet. Also ridonkulous. So it's like, when does it get to the point where you're just like tired of living like this and it's time to make a change? Where does it get to the point where you can say, tomorrow I'm going to wake up to a clean bedroom. And that can happen faster than you think. When you are brave and strong enough to say, I'm not letting this stuff that isn't earning its place be in my home any longer, period. I'm filling bags, I'm filling boxes, I'm trusting my gut and I'm getting it the heck out. And some people don't want to hear that, some people don't want to hear that and they're not ready. But if you are, maybe it is this tough love approach you need. I needed a tough love approach. I spent so long wringing my hands, I spent so long with a messy house. Everything I would touch I would say, like, oh, but I'm not sure, like maybe, maybe I'll use this. Or maybe my mother in law will be upset if I let it go and I don't want to Make a mistake. And it was expensive, whatever. If I have to buy it again, oh, my gosh. And here I am giving so much power to every object that I haven't used. And I don't even. Like, I'm giving my time. I'm giving it, the space, it. I had to get mad. I had to get really freaking angry. Not at myself, but at the stuff and for it just existing in the first place. And when I was able to transfer that anger at where it actually belonged and get mad at the stuff, it was a lot easier to get rid of it because I saw it as a squatter. I saw it as a thief of my joy, and it was very easy to then just get rid of it forever. I just, like, literally 10 minutes ago, got off a virtual call. I'm helping a client, and she's doing a great job, but she has so much to get through. And she also has so much identity clubbing, whether it's crafting. She loves bags. She had so many and everything. I could see the hesitation. She picked up this bag, and she was like, it's homemade, and it's from Nepal, and it was a gift, and it's homemade. And I know her brain is saying, this probably took 20 hours to make, and she's seeing the love poured into it, and she's seeing, you know, all of this. All of this pressure. But when I said to her, do you like it? Not really. Do you love it? No. What would you wear this with? There was these cracks. There was these cracks through the guilt and the shame to the real root, which is that item is not earning its space. That item is not worthy of a place in her home because she doesn't use it, and she doesn't. You know, it doesn't matter who made it. Holy crap. It doesn't. It doesn't matter if you don't love it. And then she was able to say, yeah, actually, this can go. And I think sometimes we do need that push. I think sometimes we do need to have that bit of tough love to get through the shame, the guilt, the pressure, the obligation, the what if. All that narrative that society tells us and our parents of, like, we don't waste. We have to reuse, keep things that are spent. You know what I mean? There's so much pressure to keep. Sometimes we need to push back and push back hard to break through to the simple solution, which is like, do you love it or not? And if the answer is no, what the heck is it doing in your house? The holidays are coming up I feel like the holidays amplifies the pressure because it comes with, you know, the sentimentality and the traditions and the gifts. There's, like, so much excess, right? It's not just the Christmas decorations, which is a ton. It is the wrapping paper. It is the old gifts that we've received. Received. It is the things we now buy to give to other people. And we think about the tradition aspect, too. Like, are we supposed to bake cookies with the kids? There's just so much pressure. Do we need new cookie cutters? Do we know where our old ones are? Let better. Oh, my. All of it. All of it is so freaking stressful. And what's crazy is this is supposed to be the most magical time of the year. And if you speak to most women and ask them what is the most stressful time of year, they will say, the holidays. It's. We have this, like, crazy love, hate relationship with this time of year. And the hate comes from the excess. The hate comes from the pressure. The hate comes from the guilt and shame. And we really don't need any of that. If we just got a little tougher, if we put boundaries on our time and on our home and in ourselves and said, no, no more. Boundaries are more than just like, I put boundaries on my space by saying, I'm not allowing things into my home, even if it's a gift, if I don't love it and I won't use it. But also, we need boundaries on our time, on our calendar, on our day, on how much we schedule. We can't go to every Christmas party. We can't go to every event that's in the community where they do the lighting of the tree and we have to take our kids to cut down. There's just so much press that we have to be really ruthless and say no to the things we don't absolutely love. And there's guilt. I don't want to hurt people's feelings, and I don't want to all of that. We need to just say, that's not priority. The priority is myself and the things that I love. It is. Everybody always says, like, you know, as the mom, when you're on the airplane and those things drop down, you know, because, like, you're going to crash and the mask drops down from the ceiling, and you're supposed to put it on yourself before you put it on your child, child. And everything in us is like, I better put it up. Make sure my kids are safe first. But without you having oxygen, you've passed out. And everybody's dead. That sounds morbid and horrible. But the reality is if you're not taking care of yourself, if you're not happy, if you're not feeling at peace and rested and you're not capable, like, right, if you're chaotic and everyone's suffering, you're a better mother, you're a better partner, you're a better friend, you're a better neighbor when you put yourself first. A few years ago, five years ago now, I created this Holiday Home Challenge. It's totally free. I'll. I'll put a link in the description below, but you can go to clutterbug.com holidayhome and also download it. It's a workbook that walks you through, step by step, different spaces. And it allows you to start like with getting ready like for guests and cleaning out the pantry. Like these small little things that we always procrastinate till right before the holidays and then we're in this horrible, rushed state. What if we spread this out? And this is exactly what the Holiday Home Challenge does. It maps it out for you so you can chip away at things and so that you can put boundaries on your time so that you can strategically tackle the holidays without the excess and have a real plan for a stress free, tidy, clutter free holiday season. And there is going to be a ton of stuff coming into your home during the holidays. Everybody gets you gifts and it's, it's crazy pants. But we can do things now to mitigate the clutter after the holidays. And some of my favorite things to do are actually go through your own things and do a light declutter and go through your kids things and declutter not only to make room for what is to come, but also to get an idea of what you need when you have excess everywhere and you're like, what do I want for Christmas? Or what do my kids need for Christmas? It's really hard to know when you haven't taken actual inventory. And the the act of just going through your stuff and deciding, yeah, I love that, or I don't can open up those like holes in your inventory like, oh, actually my kid doesn't have any pants that fit. Or he would actually love a new video game because he got rid of these three that he doesn't play anymore. It's important to do this. It's important to make room for the things that are coming and not to wait to do it after you already have even more stuff. One of the okay, how do I say I'm just going to Say it. I hated Christmas for a really long time. And here's why. I have divorced parents. And this sounds awful, but all my parents parents were alive. So I had. And Joe's parents, and then Joe's parents. Parents were all alive. So we had, like, eight Christmas parties that were just family every year. There's what, four weekends in December, and all of them wanted it, like, the weekend before Christmas. Okay, so then everyone's inviting us. There were years where we would go to three to four Christmas parties in a day. And it was literally just rushing from place to place. And I was panicking the whole time. The whole time. I'm at one Christmas party with, like, Joe's grandma. I'm just. My mom's texting me, when are you guys getting here? We're waiting to do. I'm, like, thinking about having to go to the next party. I didn't enjoy any of it. And then we would literally have to take two trips to take everything back to our house because our van was so full of all the gifts people would bought. It was a nightmare, okay? The holidays had turned into this gross nightmare of pressure and clutter and just guilt and shame. So I had to get to the point where I said, no, we're not. And guess what? The hardest no was the fact that Joe's mom said to me, I always want to do Christmas morning with my kids, no matter what. I want my kids to wake up in my home Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. So I had Isabel, and I would sleep at her house. And then I had a second baby. And here I am lugging all Santa's gifts. Santa came to Joe's mother's house, plus all the other. And. And what the. I'm sleeping on the freaking floor. And then one year, my daughter Abby had the flu. She's throwing up all over me all night, and I'm getting up, putting a smile on my face at somebody else's freaking house doing Christmas morning. And I started screaming like a mad woman. I'm not doing this anymore. I want to be in my own home. And here's the thing. I was thinking this the whole time. I just wasn't brave enough to say it. Like a human being, in a calm way, I was people pleasing and people pleasing until I hit the point where I just lost my crap and was look like a lunatic. And after that, I have boundaries. I do not go anywhere on Christmas day. I sleep in my own bed Christmas Eve. Sorry, Joe's mom. Sucks to suck. I am a mother. I make the decisions for My own children. And guess what? She comes to our house and she goes and she travels, and that's what she likes to do. But there, it's okay to put yourself and your own happiness first. And I think more than anything, I model this now to my children because I don't want them to ever feel that pressure, too. I want them to be able to stand up for themselves and say, I don't want to do this. I don't want to go to that party. Guess what? Just because I invite you to come to my house for a party, I might not want you to come. Okay? This might be an ob. This might just be an obligation. We are all just trying to people please each other, when really we all just want to order Chinese food and stay home. Okay? So let's be honest. Let's have boundaries, and let's not feel bad for having them. It isn't mean. It isn't rude. It is the real way to have a happy, fulfilled holiday. I'm. I'm spiraling right now, and I apologize. We're talking about the holidays. It's. It's not even Halloween yet. We have a few more days until Halloween, but I feel like if we see the decorations in the stores, while there's still pumpkins and skeletons, we see Christmas decorations, it's okay to get a jumpstart on the planning and the talking, but, yeah, we still do have to also talk about Halloween. It's just one thing after another. And then in the US you guys have Thanksgiving coming up. This is a bonkers time of the year. There is so much packed into such a short amount of time that we have to be strategic. We have to have a plan, and we have to be proactive instead of being reactive. Is. That is our normal state? Right? We. We react. We react to the clutter. We react to, like, the drama and the chaos that comes up. What if we can be proactive and, like, stop it before it starts? I want to share some proactive things that you can do to, like, get a handle on it. But since it is just a couple of days to Halloween, let's talk about some ghosts and ghouls we may encounter while we're taking action on your stuff, while you're decluttering. Because there is. There is, like. I mean, I'm being cheesy and tying it in, but decluttering can unearth some scary, spooky horry things, like coming across those ghosts of money long wasted. The ghost of, like, I shouldn't have. Oh, I found that protein powder that I spent 65 freaking dollars on. I cracked it. I tasted it. It tasted like absolute butthole. And yet I left it in my cupboard. Because $65, right? That is a ghost haunting you. Every time you see it, it's haunting you. It's haunting you. It's like the ghost of $65 from the past. What if we exercised those demons and ghosts? What if we said enough is enough? It's leaving. And I'm not just talking about the wasted money. I'm talking about the things that are bullies, too. Those, like, you know, those nasty, horrible cheerleaders from your high school?

C (23:57)

They're.

A (23:57)

They're ghosts dressed as cheerleaders, telling you you're not good enough, that you have a muffin top and that your bat wings look extra bat wingy in that shirt. Why are we keeping. Why are we keeping things that make us feel bad about ourselves? Ridiculous. We're Ghostbusters up in here. Let's zap it. It's all slimer. It's leaving. We're getting tough. I'm getting a little off with the ghost things, but it. It is. It's all the. The toxic, nasty feelings of guilt, shame. I should keep it. This was sentimental. My Uncle Bob. My Uncle Fester gave it to me. I don't actually like it, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. Things. Boundaries. It's okay to say no. It's okay to say no about things coming into your home. It's okay to say no about things that have been in your home for 20 years. It's okay to say no. You're leaving because I deserve better. And you do deserve better. And you're not going to organize your way out of a messy house. It's just not happening. You have too much stuff. Your things will never fit in the house you have today. You have too much. It has to leave, Period. And when we break it down to its easiest part, we are exercising. We are eliminating. We are getting tough. We are evicting only the things we don't use and the things we don't love. Period. Every year on Halloween, we go to our friend's house. We have a. Like, a costume, family costume party. So I have to find a theme costume where everyone in my family were all the same theme. I go overboard, okay? I go overboard. Joe gives me a budget. I spend every last freaking dime of it. And this year, Milo gets to pick the theme. So he wants to go to spirit Halloween whatever he wants. Wants to wear with Trick or Treating, with his friends. We're going to base our family costume around that. Last year we were ghosts. It was bad. It was a bad. I was very tired. I was in the horrible in the firefighting. But the year before that, we were like Beetlejuice. It's just, it's such a joy. It's such like a bright spot in my day. And I'm really passionate about Halloween, like a giant freaking nerd about Halloween. But that also leads to clutter. I have five totes filled with costumes that I definitely should declutter because I'm certainly not wearing the same family costume two years in a row. Right? I need to get tough on myself too. So here I am. Like, you need to let the. I also need to declutter and let things go. Let's do it together. Let's say enough is enough. We're gonna make our life easier and we can still enjoy the things that we love, like Halloween or hosting Thanksgiving or having a big wonderful Christmas. But we can eliminate the parts of it that aren't serving us. I want to take a second to thank today's podcast sponsor, Cozy Earth. Years ago I switched to Cozy Earth bamboo sheets and honestly, there's no looking back. I say this over and over again, but it feels like luxury. When I climb into bed at the end of a long day, they're so soft and no matter how many times I wash them, they're still just like the day that I got them. I also love that they're temperature regulating so I stay cool. I never feel overheated, even when I pile on the duvet. Absolute gorgeous. But then I've tried their pajamas and their hoodies, their bamboo clothing. All of it is incredible. I absolutely recommend and if you want to give it a try, Cozy Earth has a 100 night sleep trial. So you can try them out, their sheets, their bedding. If you don't love it, you can return it hassle free. And they also come with a 10 year warranty. Go to cozyearth.com and use my code clutterbug to save up to 20% off. Because home isn't just where you live, it's how you feel. Let's go home with Cozy Earth. Now it's time for my favorite part of the podcast which is talk to Cass. Let's hear from Angela.

D (28:21)

Hi Cass.

A (28:22)

When I was decluttering my aunt's house, she was a hoarder and she left the house to me and I had to clean it out and I found a switchblade in the Christmas decorations right there amongst the Ornaments, a pearl handled switchblade. Weirdest thing. That is weird and also kind of cool. Was she like, a ninja or a spy? You know, where they have to, like, hide weapons all throughout the house in case some. I don't know if that's just a movie. Like, in case the bad guys break in. They're like, I'm decorating your tree. And like, quick, oh, evil people, get the switchblade. Probably not that she probably just stuffed it in there and forgot about it, but we can imagine that she's a spy. Next, let's hear from Dani.

E (29:08)

Hi, Cass. My name is Dani, and I wanted to tell you a little bit about my story and how much you've helped me. In March of 2024, I had a baby, and I had a really hard time with postpartum depression. And then in May of that same year, I lost my job. I was a teacher and I lost my job along with a bunch of other people because of budget cuts. And my husband, who was subbing at the time, got a lot of his hours cut for the next year, so we wouldn't. We wouldn't be able to live off a bit. And after that, I started teaching piano lessons and I created my own business. I kept my own books and taxes and marketing and a bunch of other things I didn't really know how to do and hadn't really planned on doing so soon in my life. And it also took my husband over a year to find a new job that would support us because, you know, he's competing with all these other teachers that also had, you know, the same background as him because we live in a pretty small area, and there was a lot of people that get that got let go. So that was kind of difficult for us. It was a hard year. But I found your channel earlier this year. Earlier in 2025, I was just, you know, watching organizing tips for, like, the 10 millionth time. I mean, I don't have a ton of stuff. My house has never been super messy, and I work really hard to keep it as clean and tidy as it is, but it's never perfect and it never stays perfect. And that has always bothered me. It makes me feel like. Like I can't be perfect when my house isn't perfect.

D (30:52)

Perfect.

E (30:54)

And that has always really bothered me. I've had really bad anxiety my whole life. And after my baby was born, it got a lot worse. And it affects my health in so many ways. And so anyway, I found you earlier this year, and I took the test, and the first time I got a ladybug. And so I was, I've been organizing to be to like a ladybug and it's been really helpful and. But the last time, like a couple, like last week, I was like, I don't know if all of this is really working for me. So I took the test again and I was a cricket this time, which I thought was interesting how it like shifted. Once I'd done some decluttering, I had, I had realized that other things were important to me. So I retook your test and it had changed. Yeah. So after watching your YouTube content, I started listening to your podcast and I especially loved the one that you did with Courtney Carver. And I've been listening to her book and it's been helping me so much with, especially with my anxiety. And from listening to you, my house is slowly starting to get more consistent, which is really nice. I've been allowing myself to do things crappy and that's been very, very helpful with my self worth and dealing with the clutter in my house and also the clutter in my life. I told you that I started a business and it was, it was hard with a, with a baby and to also start a business where I had a lot of people coming into my home to do piano lessons and I with doing all of my own things, you know, I had to learn how to do taxes and I had to learn how to do all these things that like I said, I'd never really planned on learning how to do. So I just wanted to tell you that like, you've helped me a lot with dealing with the clutter in my life. And this current school year, I had the unexpected opportunity to start teaching again. I got hired like the week before school started. And your tips have helped so much in my classroom as well as in my home. And I wanted to tell you that listening to your content, especially your podcast, gives me a lot of happiness and comfort. My husband now works a job where he works a lot of evenings, which are a little hard with a one and a half year old, especially after a full day of teaching where I come home and I'm alone. But I will turn on your podcast and I won't feel quite so alone. So thank you so much for, for giving me that and also giving me such a more consistent house and more consistent like self worth. Thank you. A while ago, like a long time ago, actually, you asked that people share jingle ideas with you and I've had one bouncing in my head for weeks and I decided I didn't want it to go to waste, and I wanted to share it with you in case you like it. So here it is. Welcome back to the Clutterbug podcast. Grab a bag and the trash and we'll throw it out with Cass. Thanks, and I really appreciate you.

A (33:59)

Bye, Danny. That's good. I love that jingle so much. Also, I just want to say, like. Like, I love your fight. So you lost your job and you had postpartum depression, and you literally were like, well, my husband also isn't earning money. I'm gonna start a business and figure it out. And it's that, like, badass energy in women that I just love so hard. Okay, so you're amazing, and I'm proud of you, and you're talented and just keep on being awesome. Awesome. Let's hear a story from Anonymous.

D (34:37)

This one time, I was cleaning and I found a paper about an account. And I kind of had kind of known that it existed anyhow, because I was cleaning and found the paper, I finally called on it and found out that there was. Because it had been so long and it was in, like, like, 401k account, I actually had $4,000 in it instead of the 3,000 or 300 that the statement that I found said I had. So that was a fun surprise.

A (35:15)

Wait, stop, wait. So, like, you thought you had $300, but you let it sit so long that it grew into $4,000? Girl, lose that paper again for another 10 years, you'll be a millionaire. Just throw it back into the pile. Okay? Throw the pile. To discover that later. That is the power of compound interest, which I did not understand for a long time. And now that I do, I really still don't. But it's magical. So I don't touch my money while it grows. That is a cool thing to find when decluttering. Good for you. Let's hear from Jenny.

C (35:51)

Hey, Cass. I really glad to be part of your organizing experts group, and I just wanted to share my favorite decluttering dinosaur with you. About 12 years ago, I was helping my mom clean out her craft room. Clean and organize her craft room. And at the beginning of the project, I was doing a lot of tongue biting because I was looking at this stuff. A lot of it was just leftovers from projects, all kinds of stuff. And I was just biting my tongue because I was standing there thinking, mom, why have you kept all this stuff? But I bit my tongue. But as we continued, it started to.

A (36:39)

Become.

C (36:42)

What I would call almost like an archeological dig. And we found fabric and my mom was looking at the fabric, like, oh, what was this? And I was like, mom, remember that's when you made that beautiful wall hanging for your friend who was getting a new dining room. And. And, you know, we just were going layer by layer back through the levels of this. It really was like an archeological dig. And we came across fabric my mom didn't recognize. But as I looked at it, I saw this was the fabric that you used to make a suit for my oldest brother when he was a senior in high school. So we're talking, like, 1980, maybe somewhere around there. And so, you know, just layer upon layer, this was really just the museum of my mom's life. And, you know, she had just been sewing for people and, you know, doing crafts for people for such a long time. And so it was really. It started out as seeing a mess, but it turned into, like, really seeing my mom. But. But even better, as we kept on going, we actually came down to. We were going through a filing cabinet, and there was an envelope that had my mom's high school memories. So my mom probably graduated high school around 1958, maybe, something like that. And it had pictures of her friends, and there was even, like, a. Like, a senior memories booklet that. That had been professionally put together, but it had my mom's handwritten responses. She was describing her senior trip and her high school crush, whom I had never heard about in all my days. And it was just really seeing, like, a whole different side of my mom. She was terminal at the time, and it was just a very precious time to spend with her. I was spending the week with her while my dad had a trip out of town, and my mom was doing pretty good, but we didn't want her left by herself, and she couldn't really take the trip. So I got to spend that precious week with her. And this was, like, the culmination of it was finding these high school memories of hers. It was just really cool to most particularly just seeing my mom in her life and getting to know parts of her and her life that I hadn't known before. And it was really cool. So that's my decluttering dinosaur. Just the most precious thing. And, yeah, I just wanted to share that with you. Thank you so much for our organizing group and just your energy and inspiration that you give us. Bye.

A (39:44)

Thank you. I love that. This is my favorite part of decluttering, is the stuff you find, because we. For we. When we have, like, all this excess, we forget about the really good stuff that is mixed in with all the Other stuff, like, yeah, the fabric's cool. But under there was like this incredible, incredible stuff about your mom that you didn't know. And if you hadn't gone through and decluttered and like went through your archaeological archaeology. Archie. Archie. Something like, you were not a paleontologist, but the other one that does human stuff, that digs and dirt. If you weren't that, you wouldn't have found those awesome memories. So I love that. So hard. And I will say you're also brave because there are two people that if when I was working with clients, if they would call and they would tell me the they were these things, I'd say, sorry, I'm full. And the first is a crafter and the second is a teacher. If they're, I'm always like, what do you do for a living? If they say, teacher, I'm sorry, I'm booked until 2047. And if they're a crafter, they get the same response because those two people want to keep everything forever. Crafters, especially sewers. Oh, with the fabric, like, they'll keep every scrap, every square, because maybe they made curtains, but they kept the scrap. For what? Nobody knows, but for something. Last but not least, we have Rachel.

B (41:18)

Hi, my name is Rachel and I really enjoy your podcast. And I had a funny story. We moved in 2023 and I had this brand new cupboard that my brother built for me and is basically just for the appliances. And it started smelling something awful, but I didn't know what it was. And I took the air fryer out and I cleaned it, but every time I used the air fryer it wasn't that. So I put baking soda in the cupboard and we're just busy getting settled in. So it was nearly five months later, January, when I decided, you know, it's been long enough, I think I'm going to go ahead and make the sourdough bread again. When I got the Dutch oven out, I forgot that I had put potatoes and onions in that bowl to transport to the new house. Oh my goodness. It was onion flavored potato broth. It was so bad, dumped it out, finally found the stench. So that was funny. But yeah, I really enjoyed your five Love language series. You just did. That was quite interesting. I am definitely physical touch, but then did not realize that I am also probably words of affirmation because of, yeah, like you said, the bullies in the closet that I can't get rid of. But I also don't like to wear them. So thanks for that. I guess I will work on that. Is there any tips on how to quit beating myself up when I do make mistakes? Yeah, that's my question. So, yeah, it does make me feel really good when I get it right. But then I. I didn't realize I was beating myself up, so. So, yeah. Well, have a good day. Thanks.

A (43:21)

Rachel, if you don't like the clothes in your closet, you grab a trash bag right now. And you go to your closet and you pick up those clothing and you say, you nasty bitch, you call me names and you throw it right in the bag. There's no making a mistake. There is no mistake. There's no. You can't do decluttering wrong. And even in if because you're at war, there's a couple casualties, and maybe you're like, actually, I do want to wear a shirt that makes me feel terrible about myself. That will never happen. Okay, Rachel. But if in some way you can just go to the thrift store and buy another shirt that makes you feel terrible about yourself, so there's no mistakes here. Okay? There isn't. The only mistake is allowing this stuff to stay in your home. What are you doing? You, queen. Fix that crown. Stand up for yourself. Grab a bag. Why are we hemming and hawing over this? No more. It's leaving. Also, you washed out that Dutch oven, so you're a better human being than I am, because I would have just thrown the whole kit and caboodle in the trash because potatoes is rotting potatoes. Is there anything that smells worse? I'm not sure there is. I hope you're feeling proud of yourself. If you aren't quite feeling proud about yourself, go throw something in the garbage right now. Like, be a freaking warrior. Are you a warrior or are you a wuss? Warriors throw stuff out. They stand up for themselves. They have boundaries. And that means also on your closet, on your entrance, way on your whole entire life, it's time to be tough, because you're amazing, and you are the boss, and you are the leader. So put on your cape and be your own hero. Okay?

D (45:07)

There.

A (45:07)

I love you guys, and I'll see you guys next time.