← Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast
Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast
The Path of Flow: Decluttering, Routines & Hacks That Fit YOUR Brain | Clutterbug Podcast # 301
00:58:33
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Have you ever felt like you're at war with your home? Or maybe not just your home, but your entire life? Like, no matter how much you try, things just aren't clicking, Things just aren't working out how you thought. What I find really ironic is that the people who are working the hardest sometimes are the ones that are really struggling to get ahead. Like, it seems like the answer when things aren't working out is just to put your nose down and to give it more effort. Work harder, get up earlier. That's the worst advice. But oddly enough, that's actually not what I found to be the real solution. To get unstuck has nothing to do with you working more or working harder. I've definitely been there, and I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot because I was always looking for shortcuts, the easy way out. And I stumbled upon this really incredible kind of. I don't know, is an idea. It's a thing. It's a. It's a way of living that helped me find the flow, the path to the life I was really craving. My journey definitely started in my home, getting my home organized and decluttered, but it kind of leaked into every other area. And I used the same principles in all the other areas and found real success. And my path of flow might not look right like yours. I think that's the point, though. I think this is about discovering what really works for you, but using the same principles. But all of us have a different path to go down. Hey, clutterbugs. Welcome back to the Clutterbug podcast. If you are my neighbor to the south, you live in the US this is the week of Thanksgiving, and you may be having people over that could be stressful. Even if you're not having people over.
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Thank you.
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Thanksgiving is a big deal. So why not make your home the best it can possibly be so that you can actually rest and relax and enjoy this holiday? And that means getting stuff out. Less stuff equals less work. But it also means just a lighter, more peaceful home. So we're gonna be ruthless today and dig deep. And I'm hoping you fill at least one trash bag. I'm pushing you to do more, but one trash bag of things that just aren't. Aren't serving you. I don't care how much it costs. I don't care if it's useful. If it isn't useful to your life today, it is not earning its spot in your home. I first heard about, I call it trash bag therapy from Peter Walsh. He Calls it the Trash Tango. And in the first book I ever read by Peter Walsh, he starts with like, yo, grab a trash bag and dance around your house looking for expired things, looking for empty boxes, looking for, you know, gum wrappers, receipts. And I remember reading this in the book and thinking, I don't have any trash. Like, I'm not a hoarder. My house is. It's messy, but it's not, like, gross. And I kind of almost skipped over that part, but he really was hammering it. Like, I know you don't think you have trash, but you do. And we start there because it is this form of exposure therapy, exposing you to decluttering, exposing you to that, like self. Self respect and self pride that comes from standing up to the mess. Does that make sense? So anyways, I thought, what do I have to lose? I grabbed a trash bag and I just looked around and it was the act of looking that opened my eyes because suddenly I saw in drawers. Oh, I do have those empty envelopes that come with the bills, even though we pay online. Oh, I do have old receipts in my purse. Oh, I do have empty shampoo bottles and conditioner and so many other things and really old razors in the shower. Why? And before I knew it, I filled a trash bag of things that I didn't even know were kind of lurking in my home. And I did feel empowered and I did feel proud of myself and I wanted to go further. And so that's why I always really talk about trash bag therapy with you, because it is so magical. A lot of the feedback that I've been getting through the podcast, your wonderful comments is that you actually do love the. The tough love approach, which I'm really happy about, but I'm also a little like, I'm nervous to go too far with you, so let's just dip your toe a little bit in the water. This is what I needed to hear, that I wish someone had said to me. So I'm going to say it to you, but please still like me and know that I feel slightly uncomfortable going to say what I'm going to say, but stop making excuses for the mess and the clutter. You are in charge. Your home is a reflection of you, period. End. Stop. You may have messy family members who don't help out. You still also live there and are contributing. And no one is coming to save you. No one is going to. Your husband is not magically going to transplant his brain, put on a cape, and clean your house tomorrow. Okay, we would love that. That's not the reality of the situation. Do you want to keep living the way you're l now and your home being a burden and stealing your time? Or do you want to make a change? You can have excuses or you can have results, but you can't have both. I don't want to hear. I'm tired. I don't want to hear. I don't have enough time. I don't want to hear. I don't have money to replace things. We're not doing anything hard here. You are identifying things you don't use that are just taking up space and you are eliminating them. Those random Barbie shoes. Trash the puzzle pieces. You don't need to find the whole puzzle, just trash. When you find the other half of it, that's trash too. You have to be ruthless if you want to make a change. You have to. You have to fight. You have to be a warrior. And there will be casualties. There will be things that won't be perfect. There will be mistakes that you make, but you will the war. So get up and take action on your life. You don't have to work harder, but you do have to work five minutes, fill a bag. You can do anything for five minutes. Stop making excuses of why this isn't going to work and prove, I mean, try it. Prove to yourself that it can. I've been thinking a lot lately about like video ideas. I've been doing this a long time. I constantly want to give fresh ideas for you, but also for me, like when I'm thinking about what's working in my life and what's not, it isn't just about making YouTube videos. It's about really having the self awareness to build the best life I can have. For me too, this is just a conduit for that. But one of the things I've really been thinking a lot about and I want to make a video about is the path of flow in our home. Because it's so interesting how clutter and kind of our hotspots accumulate as we go through our home, how we use our home and then how we can adapt our home to fit our flow. Does this make sense? So you're coming in, what door do you come in? And where do you drop your book bag? And then where do you go next? And if you've got groceries in your arms, like what's your path and where do you set them down? And is your home built for your path of flow? Because it's really hard for us to kind of adapt ourselves to fit our home. It's much, much easier to adapt our home to fit us. And the truth is, though, the more I think about this, the more I realize that this kind of natural path and flow that we create in our home is also a natural path and flow we create in our lives and not just like a physical flow. Sure. Like the route you take to go to the bank and the route you take to drop your kids off and do you stop at that same coffee shop? But the path we're going, like, towards our goals. Right. There's an actual path that we're walking towards our future, too. And it is a natural path. So how can we adapt around us in our environment and everything to make this more efficient? Let's talk about inside your house for a second. What I really found trying to make my home more efficient is I had to kind of like, evaluate where I stand when I bake cookies. Where do I stand when I pack up leftovers? Which side of the stove do I stand when I cook? Which is crazy. Yes. You have a favorite burner, so you were like, more on one side than the other. And how can I move things around so that I don't have to move my feet in these spaces? How can I move my favorite spatula to the side of the stove where I naturally stand when I cook? Is this. So I know it seems like really common sense, but it was all of these, those small little tweaks of moving things around to adapt to my natural flow inside the home that made all the difference. Yes, I'm only saving 30 seconds here and 30 seconds there, but this adds up to hours and days and years of my life. Not just in time saved, but yeah, just making life easier. Isn't it kind of weird that we have a favorite burner? I don't know. Maybe this is just like because I've reached old lady phase, but let me know in the comments. Do you have a favorite favorite burner on the stove? Do you have a favorite spatula? Do you have a favorite coffee mug? You're just. Humans are weird, but also these little, like, nuances, they really do shape how we use our home. Now that I'm just like, I said this out loud and I'm thinking, I wonder if Joe has a different favorite burner than I do or my kids have a different favorite burner. Like, I've adapted where things go based on my favorite burner, but everybody is a little bit different and everyone has a different way of doing things. So interesting. But again, it leads to all of us having this, like, different Path and flow in our lives, we all do things a little bit different. So how can we recognize our own tendencies and adapt things around us to work for us, not against us? Here's what I'm trying to say. In a nutshell. The path of flow is about embracing your natural tendencies, really knowing yourself and adapting your surroundings and adapting your workflow to complement that. Not doing things against the way that you naturally do things, because that's just, you know, living life on hard mode. This isn't about doing things in the perfect right way because we're supposed to do things that way. It's about doing it your way and really knowing what your way is. So it's the easiest path and flow for you to keep getting ahead in life. And if you already know your clutterbug style and your organizing style, that's what this is based on. It's about identifying the way you naturally manage your stuff, how you naturally put things down, how your brain wants to see your things or not see your things, and then adapting your home for that so that it feels easy and effortless so that you're not working and having to like force yourself to tidy up or put things away. You're doing it the way it comes naturally to you, which is why it works, which is why it's easier. And there's so many different things, not just your clutterbug style, but there's so many different tools that can help us identify our own natural tendencies and our own natural flow to help make life easier. I'm gonna be real honest with you. I am pretty much obsessed with all things like personality related. I take all the personality quiz. I think it's like the Myers Briggs or whatever. I'm an infp, sometimes an enfp, sometimes a little bit of. Anyways, it's so eye opening to really dig deeper and have more self awareness and be able to like yes, this is a trait that I have naturally. And see this reflected in a quiz, it makes me really, really excited. Because every time I gain a little bit of knowledge about myself that I didn't otherwise know, life gets better. And that's just the reality. I talk a lot about the four tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. But understanding that I'm an obliger and that the really only way I'm going to do things I don't want to do if it's tied to another person changed my life. Everything I do now I give an external accountability if I know I have to get it done because I know that's what works. That's what motivates me. I'm also really excited about like things like I, I, I wouldn't say excited, but I've been known to look up horoscopes and dabble in like astron, astrology, astronomy. Listen, it's not astronomy, it's astrology. I am a Capricorn. And yet reading this as a kid and throughout my whole life, Capricorns are supposed to be like hard working and determined and like a type personality and controlling. And I'm like, that is not me. I'm a Sagittarius, maybe a Scorpio. Like I didn't see myself reflected in the description of a Capricorn at all. And I actually was talking to Mara who works with Clutterbug. We have the same birthday. And I was like, yeah. She's like, oh, we're Capricorns. And I was like, except I'm nothing like a Capricorn. And she just looked at me and she's like, says the person who's like a dog with a bone and anything new, like you're just like laser focused to, to get something done. And I was like, am I? She's like, yeah, you text me sometimes at like 10 o'.
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Clock.
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And I'm like, why are you still working and thinking about things? And I'm like, I guess so. It's really strange. Sometimes the perception of yourself may not be the reality. Isn't this so it's funny. So yeah, the more I really looked, I'm like, oh, I do have a lot of like Capricorn traits. I just didn't see myself that way. I kind of saw myself as still like the hot mess I was in my teens and twenties. I still identify as that. But the reality of the situation now is do I have my life together? Girl, I think I do. My point is knowing what works for me makes life easier and stop. It really does. Because I can adapt things and, and, and knowing my own tendencies means that I can adapt my life. So it feels more effortless. So things just are like woo, naturally flowing. Here's another example. This might be weird, I'm going to get backlash in this, but I know my learning style is a kinetic learner, which means anytime I'm trying and I'm back in school, you know, for the whole firefighter thing, anytime I'm trying to learn something, I have to understand the why behind it. I can't just read and absorb that I don't know right over my head. Someone can't just tell me something right over my head. But if I watch a video of someone demonstrating it, or better yet, I can physically, like, touch and do myself, I will remember forever. And so I recently signed up to be the training officer at my fire hall, and I am teaching tonight. We call it hydro because our water, our electricity comes from water. But I'm doing, like, high voltage electricity training, so I had to learn all about how electricity works and how voltage and amperage and all this crazy things, and I wasn't really getting it. And I also had to learn, like, how far away we have to be and if it downed wire, how it can jump and how water can duck. Anyway, I built a model. Okay, I built a model. It has grass, it has fake trees, it has roads, it has houses. I took my gingerbread houses off the mantel, glued them to the board, ran actual wires on wood skewers that I hot glued, ran wires to them. Got a Tesla coil so I could light them and I could show how the lightning travels down through and connects. And I have little toy fire trucks and cars, and I can literally show how the fire jumps, how the electricity jumps to them and magnifies them and in. In voltage and all this stuff. So anyways, I'm bringing this to training. Will they laugh at me for my model? Probably, but maybe other people. There are kinetic learners too. And more importantly, I knew the best way for me to teach is to, like, seriously, fundamentally be able to understand and demonstrate. So, yes, we have a PowerPoint slide that I'm supposed to read, but I needed it to be more. So, yeah, I made a model. Want to see it? If you're listening to this podcast, you won't be able to see, but head over to the YouTube channel so you can laugh at me, because here it is, my friends. Okay, listen. So we have to be at least three poles from the fire also. So I made like movable fire so I can show different scenarios. Oh, the transformer's on fire, or there's a downed wire. I also made like, movable downed wires so we can show. And then I use this Tesla coil to light it so that they actually will like, arc and spark, so that I can determine where the fire is or the downed wires. And then we can show where you park the trucks and how far you need to be and where to how to make a perimeter based on different scenarios with high voltage power lines. I made this last night with craft supplies I had in my craft room. Joe says this is embarrassing and all the firefighters will laugh at me, but what I'm saying is this helped me learn and it's going to make me a better teacher because I saw the electricity running through, I saw how it jumped. I was able to visualize it in a way that I can't just by reading a PowerPoint presentation. So laugh it up, chumps. But knowing myself in this case allows me to like make my own learning path and my own learning flow. You know what I'm saying? All I had was gingerbread houses here. I literally, like I'm embarrassed to say I had all of this stuff in my house. Okay. I just put this together last night with am I a hoarder?
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No.
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But I have an extensive amount of crap. So let's go back to your house for a second. Just using this as an example. If a butterfly tries to organize their home or maintain an organized system that's made for a cricket, it's going to be like a right handed person trying to use their left hand. Sure they can do it, but it's going to take a lot more effort and it's going to be kind of sloppy and messy and just feel like a challenge when it doesn't have to be. And that's what really knowing yourself, identifying things that work for you and adapting your life to complement that, that's what this is all about. If you're new here and you have no idea what I'm talking about when I talk about the different organizing styles and butterflies and cricuts, take the quiz. Go to my website, clutterbug.com it's a free quiz you can take. It takes like one minute and it will help you identify your organizing style. Over 8 million people have already taken this quiz. So what the heck are you waiting for? Get over there, take the quiz and really know yourself better right now. So once I got my home kind of under control, I, I guess I, I managed the flow based on how I naturally organize, how I naturally put things down. I was like how can I adapt this same principle to the rest of my life? Like how can I address other things that I'm really struggling with? And one of the biggest things I struggle with was finances because I'm super impulsive. I just am. ADHD is a real only was I impulsively shopping but I would always like oh, I'll do it later, oh I'll save later. Or like I just, I'm also have dyscalcula which I just found out maybe two years ago, which is I have real problem with numbers, making change, remembering like multiplication, even scheduling, anything that requires like Spatial recognition. I struggle with math, okay? So it was even harder for me when it came to finances, so I had to kind of look, okay, well, like, what are my strengths and how can I adapt my finances to really work with me? Knowing my four tendencies is helpful because I need to have external accountability, but I also needed to set up a flow working with my natural tendency of laziness and impulsivity. So here's a really simple thing that I did knowing myself. I set up a savings account that wasn't linked to my debit or credit card. And I then automatically transferred, like, I set up an automatic transfer to go from my regular bank account where my money would go into. Into my savings. But the only way I could access the saving is driving my lazy butt to the bank. I know this about. I'm not going to do that unless someone's dying and needs the money. I'm not. I'll go without. I'll eat freaking peanut butter out of a jar before I'm driving my butt to the bank. I know this. And so I adapted. So this is like the small first step that I did that, that just, man, it started going from spending everything to saving because the day that I got paid, I would automatically transfer it out and I would make it difficult. I also started tying things like accountability to other people. So I had a friend, we were trying to save together, and we gave ourselves a weekly sales goal, like a saving goal, I mean, of how much we would save. And then we would talk every Friday and we would, like, share. And so that again, that external accountability, like, oh, I gotta meet with Jess on Friday and I gotta tell her how much I saved this week. Oh, man, I better save something because I don't want to disappoint her. Like, she really cared. That's not the point. Again, this is something I need is external accountability. So I know this about myself and, and it helped these small, tiny ways that I account adapted my finances for my natural flow of how I naturally spend, how I naturally. All of this, it really led to financial freedom. And I know that sounds ridiculous, but that's just the reality of the situation. I also did things like I. I taped a little note to my card that said, do you actually need this, Cass? So every time I pulled it out, I had to buy something. It was like, oh, reminding me. Because I know I'm impulsive and I needed that little bit of, like, friction. I also no longer key in keep still to this day, credit cards saved on things like Amazon, because again, I know I'M impulsive. If I have to walk across the room and find my wallet and enter my credit card number manually, I ain't buying it. So did I really need it? Anyways, I digress. That's my financial flow. On the other hand, there are people who are really meticulous and detailed. Joe is a great example. He really got into his flow and his natural tendencies when it came to finance because he loves budgeting, he loves tracking. He also is, like, a little bit competitive. So he started dabbling in just not day trading, but investments. And he meets every week with his dad, who also has investments. And they're like, you know, how much interest did you make in him? What's going well? So again, he has, like, he knows this about himself. He's going to be more aware, paying more attention, because he needed that external accountability, too. So both of us need kind of. We do our financial flow differently, but the end goal is the same, right? We're saving more money. We're. We're having more awareness about our finances because we're working with our natural flow. Definitely. What leads to burnout, what. What leads to people kind of giving up and being overwhelmed is this resistance and this friction that comes with trying to do something that's in an unnatural way, trying to force something, instead of just going with the flow and adapting so that it feels like it's effortless and flowing. But trying to, like, buck the system, your system, your actual system, is why people fail. It's why it feels hard. It's why you're like, oh, I'm putting in all this effort and it's just exhausting. Of course we don't stick with things. Of course we don't stick with our New Year's resolutions if that resolution is. Hasn't been adapted. And the path you're taking to get to that goal isn't one that comes naturally to you. I have to take a second to thank today's podcast sponsor, Aura Frames. If you're looking for the perfect gift, seriously, Aura Frames has always been my favorite thing I've ever given or received. It's a digital picture frame that's beautiful, that you can preload with all the memories ahead of time so that instantly, when they open it and plug it in, they are bombarded by beautiful videos and photos. And you can add the code to any family member all over the world so that everyone can continuously add and update new photos at any time. I swear, this is such a beautiful, thoughtful, incredible gift. And it's a great price, too. Right now, For a limited time, visit oriframes.com and get $45 off their bestselling Carver Mat frame. It's named number one by wire cutter. Use the promo code Clutterbug at checkout. Again, that's a U R, A FR promo code Clutterbug. Another big source of friction in your life is, like, mental clutter. All the things in your brain. Holy that. That creates a lot of friction, too, I think. Sometimes, especially, like, I have adhd, so my brain is not neurotypical. It's all over the place. And I'm always trying to, like, focus, do things like other people, blah, blah, and my brain's running amok. How do we declutter? How do we. We find that flow? How do we declutter the stuff that we don't need so we can reduce this friction? For me, I really struggled a lot with, like, negative self talk. Like a lot. And imposter syndrome and a little bit of catastrophizing. Is this a word? Yesterday my agent called. I. I recently, I could tell you, you want to hear some exciting news? Ready for this? I got a book deal with Harper Collins on Friday. I sold my book idea. This is. It's going to be a process. I have to still write half of it and get it published, but it's really exciting. Okay, but on the weekend, a few days, like, on the Sunday. So two days after, my agent called, and I immediately, here's my brain. Oh, my God. They came to their senses. They're calling back. They're good. They're not. They're. They're backing out. Nobody likes you. You're a disaster. You might as well just go jump off a bridge. And I answered the phone, like, reluctantly, like, hello? He's like, are you okay? I'm like, are you calling with terrible news? He's like, no, I just needed your mailing address for the contract. What the deuce is wrong with me? Okay, so there's a lot of friction. My brain. My brain is just one giant friction in roadblocks sometimes. So what I've learned are tools that work with my natural tendencies to help me overcome this. And this cost a lot of money in therapy. Okay. But one thing that really works for me, that every therapist suggested, and then I fired them all because I thought they were nuts. And then I finally tried it, and I was like, oh, you were onto something. Is every night before bed, set a timer. Because I know timers work for me to remind me and write three to five things I'm grateful for. And I was already brain dumping at the end of the night. All the things you gotta do this, oh my gosh, the end of the world, blah, blah, blah. Because I found that that was helpful. That's a. That's a path of flow. That's really easy for me, brain dumping in my journal. So it's a tiny microhabit. It's like habit stacking to then do three things I'm grateful for. And the timer reminds me. And so I started doing this, writing down like, well, I'm grateful my husband put his dishes in the dishwasher today. I'm grateful you know that, oh, we have albino squirrels in the backyard. I'm grateful for. I had all the supplies to make this model and I didn't have to buy anything because I'm an uber nerd.
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And.
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And what happened was forcing myself to force myself to think positive was rewiring neurons, brain pathways. Ooh, the path of flow in my brain. This is good to make me a more positive person, to make me a more grateful person. I was literally, like, restructuring my thought process, but doing it in a way that felt really natural and not forced. So I was able to stick with it. It. I don't know what your natural flow and tendencies are. I don't know what you could do to adapt, but I know there's something. And I know the best way to figure it out is to try a bunch of stuff. And if it feels hard, that isn't working for you. You know what I mean? Don't be afraid to fail. Failure is not a bad thing. It is evidence. It's evidence that, that this goes against your natural flow, your natural, like, ease, and that it's friction. All you've learned is what doesn't work so that you can find something that does. Okay, so let's talk about other ways that we can adapt the flow in our lives. And I think a big one is like your daily routine. Honestly, whether it's your morning routine, how many steps to cleaning your face do you really need? Or buying groceries just like your everyday life. How can we really adapt the flow? And I'm just going to give you a quick example of one thing that I did that I found really, really helpful. That kind of just worked for me. And also a cool story I want to share with you. So, first, one of my biggest struggles was grocery shopping for two reasons. One, I hate doing it. I hate leaving the house, and I would procrastinate at all costs to go to the grocery store. And two, when I did Go to the grocery store. Why am I buying candles and cupcakes and all the things except food. Food, Cass, why? So this was like, man, I sucked at this. And the end result was I was getting a lot of fast food and takeout especially, you know, we're a busy family. Not good. So how can I. How can I reduce the friction, right? And how can I make this easier? We do not have grocery delivery where I live because I live in the sticks. Because that would have been it right there. It would have solved all the problems. But knowing this is like, oh, I actually do have, like, a love of shopping online, so it's not a big deal for me. Every Monday, I just go to my online order and I add everything we need. That reduces the friction of me going into the store and buying a bunch of candles and cupcakes. Awesome. The other thing is, I know I'm an obliger, so I'm not going to just go to the grocery store for me. But if I schedule a pickup, I know that they've packed my food and they're standing by the door waiting for me. They're just longingly looking out the window, waiting for my car to pull up. And I don't want to disappoint that stranger. I don't want to make that poor stranger, like, have to put everything back. I am showing up for the appointment of picking up the car, except I only have to pop the trunk. So many problems solved. It's created this, like, flow of getting groceries that feels really effortless. And it's on autopilot and it's awesome sauce. And that's because I know myself and I adapted things to reduce friction. Here's a fun story, and I'm so excited about this. I had to meet with, like, two dozen different editors and publishing houses to try to sell my book. And my book is called Do It Shitty. And it's about taking shortcuts and embracing imperfection and not doing everything in life the hard way. You know what I mean? And it's called Do It Shitty. And one. One of the editors that I met with was really honest with me. She's like, I read the proposal. I hated it. Why would I want to do anything shitty? Why I want to. If you're gonna do something, do it right. Why would I purposely want to suck? You know? But then she said after she read the proposal, she went home. She has two kids. They were running out the door. They had to go to their, like, after school activities. Their husband was coming home late from work. She had to make dinner, and she makes this tater tot casserole. And she said usually she lines up all the tater tots so they're like, in a really cool pattern, and it takes maybe three to five minutes, but this is what she's always done. And suddenly she remembered the book proposal. Do it shitty, she said. And she just dumped those tater tots on the top, cringed a little bit, threw it in the oven, and it was fine. Like, nothing. It was totally fine. And she's like, I will never line up the tater tots again, because that didn't matter. And I saved time that I could then use. So then she was like, oh, I'm gonna just eat on paper plates because I don't have time to do the dishes. I'll do that shitty. And then she explained the concept to her husband while they were eating their tater tots. And he's like, oh, I'm gonna, like, do bedtime shitty. Let's put on a YouTube video of, like, story time, and you and I can go watch a movie movie. And like, let's put the kids to bed shitty tonight just because we need a break. And then she came to that meeting like a changed woman about the book. I did not go with her. That is not going to be my editor. I went with a different publishing house. But I love that story so much because she was trying to force something that wasn't a natural state to her. She was trying to, like, force. I have to do everything that. This. This, like, the way that it's supposed to be done. And it was creating a lot of friction in her life, in her brain. And I think she. She, like, yeah, is a person that sometimes the flow needs to be the easy path, the effortless, the, like, you know, the shitty shortcut. Has there ever been anything in your life that you felt like was just hard? Right? Like. Like the way you're supposed to do something was, or the way you've always done something was just, like, a lot of effort and you're just, like, fighting your way to get it done. What if we choose easier ways? What if we literally, like, looking for the path of least resistance so that it doesn't have to feel hard? What if we choose to live life on easy mode instead? And so I'm going to use firefighting as an example, because firefighting is hard. It just is. And joining the school and joining now, like, I'm done the school and I'm no longer a recruit. I'm like an actual firefighter. There are things that I really struggled with, like dragging a 250 pound dummy while crawling. I. There's a way that we were taught to do it, which is you're like picking them up and flipping them over their knee, over your knee. And then like, like dragging with one leg while pulling and using your knee as like support for their head. Which is. It totally makes sense. Except that means I'm with on one leg, dragging myself in a hundred pounds of gear and another 250 pound person. I couldn't do it. Like, I physically couldn't do it. Even if I worked out every freaking day of my life, which I'm never going to, I couldn't do it. But like, is there, is there an easier way? Is there physics? So what I did is I learned some webbing wrapping techniques where I can wrap under the arms and like up through the legs and support the head on the webbing, put it over my shoulder and crawl with my whole body and drag the dummy just as fast as the dudes doing it over. But I've used a tool and I have adapted the way I'm dragging so that it isn't hard. It's still hard. Okay, friends, but, but it, it isn't impossible. And I think I've done this with like a lot of things when it comes to, to firefighting. So I'll watch YouTube videos instead of just reading the book. So have somebody demonstrate it so I can learn it. And it sinks into my head again, making that feel easier. And, and just why, why do anything on hard mode? You have to have that self awareness to say, oh, this is hard. And instead of like, oh, I just can't do it and throw your hands up instead, ask, is there a way I can make it easy? Is there a way I could make this feel more effortless? And you will probably get pushback. I get pushback at first in the fire department when I'm like, I'm not, I can't do it that way, but I can do it this way. And they're like, but that's not the way we do it. But does it, does it matter or does it matter that it's done? And I think this pushback you're gonna feel in your own life and probably in your own brain. When we start taking shortcuts, when we start like re evaluating how we do things and are we just doing it because that's the way it's supposed to be done? Are we doing that because it's actually the easiest way and we change things up it's gonna feel a bit wrong, it's gonna feel different, it's gonna feel strange. But that doesn't mean that we need to go back to doing things fired with way. This is just. I hope if you take nothing else from this, that you take like the bravery, the inspiration to give another path a try to try to reduce the resistance, reduce the friction in your own life to make those everyday tasks a little bit easier. If the idea of like taking shortcuts or doing things a different way kind of being a bit lazy or finding your flow, if you're like, ooh. And you're feeling resistance to that and you're like, no, but there's a way to do things and there's a wrong way to do things. I just want to ask you a question. Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right? Because sometimes this righteousness of, of how things are supposed to get done really does get in the way of you living your happiest, best, most effortless life. We need to have the self awareness to know the difference not just between right and wrong, but know that there's like a whole gray in there. Don't rob a bank instead of going to work. Okay, I just suddenly. I'm not suggesting you like don't pay taxes or do illegal things. Not folding your underwear. That, that might feel criminal, but it is in fact not. I'd like to take a second to thank Cozy Earth for sponsoring today's podcast. You know, I'm obsessed with Cozy Earth's sheets. They are temperature regulating, they're awesome sauce. But they recently sent me their pajama sets and their cuddle bubble blanket. Hold the phone. Is this what luxury has been this whole time? Keep your Prada, keep your Gucci. I am in love with Cozy Earth. This, this soft, incredible, luxurious bamboo. The PJs, the blanket, the. The bubble cuddle blanket. I just. Words cannot express. I didn't want to love it as much as I love it, but I do and I think it makes an incredible gift. Right now you can give the gift of comfort for the holidays. And this weekend only, from Thanksgiving Day through Cyber Monday, you'll get 40% off. Go to cozyearth.com use the code clutterbug. It's the best deal of the year. You're also, you might get a survey. Let them know you heard about it here on Clutterbug. Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Now it's time for my favorite part of the podcast, which involves you. Let's do a talk to Cass, and we're going to start with Jenny.
- [41:11]
C
Hi, Cass. My name is Jenny. I, like a lot of people that follow you, are struggling with a significant amount of clutter and honestly, hoarding. And so what you're saying is right, about the whole messy middle thing and all of that. Messy middle. You know, I'm trying my hardest. I'm trying my hardest, and my environment still looks like Sanford and Sons. It still looks like a Hoarders episode. And all of that stuff, it makes me feel like I'm a failure. I'm an imposter. I am gross because I have all this stuff, right? And, and, and I keep trying my hardest, and yet my environment still looks horrible. So I am wondering. I saw the study. I saw study. Essentially, it's called value affirmation writing. And you write down your core values and then you tie it with evidence to the stuff that you are doing in everyday life. And I wondered if you wanted to expand on this concept. I haven't tried it yet, but it's. It's where I think I'm gonna go with it. I'm wondering if it helps with the messy middle if I say that my value is a clean house, that I value being tidy, that I value being not embarrassing. You know, I value people being able to come over and then maybe I journal about the things that I am doing even though I'm still stuck in the messy middle. Have you tried this? Are there other techniques that you know about that help you when you are still stuck in the messy middle and you're really busting your hiney to get out of a hoarding situation, but it's still not there? So that was my question. Do you have. Do you have other tips or have you tried this tip for getting through the messy middle when you have a serious clutter slash hoarding situation. Thanks for all you do, Cass. I. I love you.
- [43:15]
D
Just.
- [43:15]
C
You're our hero. I know everybody says that to you, but you're our hero.
- [43:19]
A
Thank you, Jenny. This is so good. Yes, I have heard of this, and I think this works so well, and this ties so well. Also with today's podcast, because I love what you said about your. You identifying your values, and you were like, my value is I want to have a tidy house. I don't think that is your, though, Jenny. I think you value other things, which is why getting your home under control is probably a struggle. It isn't hard to throw things in the garbage. It's hard for you because you're telling yourself that it's hard for you. And maybe that's because you actually value not being wasteful. You actually value saving money. You actually value being able to reuse things. You actually value being able to have things to, you know, do the hobbies that you value. So all of those things can feel really counter intuitive to the decluttering process. But what if we take those values and we just manipulate them, keeping your actual values, but adapting them, adapting your flow path in your brain so that it makes it feel easier. So here's an example. You value not being wasteful. What if we calculate the square footage and how much every square foot of your home is actually worth, and then we look at the stuff that's piled there and we're like, am I wasting the. The money, the square footage, by keeping things that aren't valuable enough for that space? So if every, like, square foot of your home is worth $50, which I don't know, you can see, that is the pile of stuff there worth $50, right? So. So this is a way that you can adapt your already value that you have. Maybe one of your values is like, I always want to really help people. And I love having things in my home. In case my sister needs an extra coat, I'll have one I can give her. Or if the neighbor kid needs something, I have it and I'll be able to provide it. This is a huge contributor to people who hoard it. Is this, like, helpful? I want to make sure that I'm prepared so that I can be really useful to the ones I love in case of emergency. So let's adapt that value. And how can you gift makeup? Like, take all the extra linens you're not using and gift them to those poor puppies and cats that are sleeping on a cold cage at the Humane Society. And imagine the gift you would give them by giving them towels and blankets to give them a cozy bed, right? Then suddenly you want to declutter those things because you're. You're sharing. I, for me, I started picturing a single mom at the thrift store who was really, really poor and struggling. And she was there shopping for clothes for her kids and things to make her house a home. And she came across the things I donated and was able to get them for a small price. And I think of her still to this day. Hey, when I drop off donations at Goodwill, I'm not taking it to Goodwill, I'm taking it to her. And that's a way of adapting your flow to, just to identify your Values what's important, and just shift the narrative in your mind to really complement those. Last week's episode was our 300th episode, and there was so many submissions, we didn't get to all of them. So let's hear from Stacy, who was going to be part of the 300th episode.
- [46:50]
B
Hey, Cass. It's one of your favorite longtime viewers, listeners, cheerleaders, all the way from back in the Malitos days. It's Stacy, AKA Finding a Way. I can't thank you enough for everything over the years. I was calling to say what I accomplished while listening, and the short answer is everything. The standard items like dishes and laundry are high on the list since they are never ending. These things used to cause me pain, and now I can do them on autopilot. You help motivate me to declutter. And the most amazing thing is listening to you does is it helps me to break the overwhelm and get out of my own head to get things done. That is huge. I'm a work in progress always, and the chaos of life and motherhood throws me off track. But I forever am hopeful that I will get there. Because if a chaotic queen like yourself can, we all can. I love you so much, and I'm so proud of all your accomplishments, and you are the most amazing person you have been this entire time. Thank you, friends, and you mean the world to me. Congratulations on everything, and I wish you the best for everything you continue to do in the future. You really have done so much, helping so many people. It's crazy, and I don't want to cry, so I'm going to. All right, I love you so much. Bye.
- [48:27]
A
Oh, thank you, Stacy. I love you, too. I'm so glad that you sent in a message. That's so awesome. Yes, I recognize you.
- [48:34]
E
You.
- [48:35]
A
You're always in the comments, and I just. I. I appreciate you. I love Chaotic Queen. I feel like I'm gonna use that. And also let's embrace that we're all kind of a little chaotic queens, right? And like, yeah, let's use that to. Am I just gonna say create a flow of past? Stop it, Cass. We're moving on with the idea, but I'm really hooked on it right now. You know, like, embracing that chaos and. And making it work for us instead of against us is so good. Now let's hear from Angela.
- [49:06]
E
Hi, Cass. This is Angela from New York. I am literally on the shores of Lake Ontario and have been watching you for years. I've also completed your professional course and can't thank you enough for the changes that you've helped me implement in my own life life and I am looking forward to potentially starting to help others do the same thing using a lot of the wonderful methods that you've shared. So in celebration of your 300th episode of the podcast, I just want to say keep it going girl. You are absolutely amazing and an inspiration. I also have a couple of suggestions for your newsletter. Would love to see a featured task of the week and potentially for those of us that are a little farther along in our journey, potentially something based on like the stage of life that you're in. So if you could potentially come up with some training for how to help people transition, maybe empty nesters, people who are moving from having little ones to now all the kids are school age to then they're transitioning into high school and away to college. Maybe they're still coming in and out of the home at the that point and then to older people who are looking at downsizing and making things simpler for the eventuality of when they're not here anymore and paying very close attention to the legacy that they leave behind and making sure it's a legacy of love and not a legacy of chaos and stress for those loved ones that they leave behind. Mind just some random thoughts for you and again love you so much and wish you all the best life has to offer.
- [51:24]
A
That was so good, Angela. I literally wrote it down like task of the week stage of life. I think this is so brilliant. I am totally going to add that to the newsletter. Just giving like a weekly challenge of a task that we can do. And also, yeah, I feel like I do need to talk more about the different stages of life and maybe even the stage of life that I'm in now that I think people might relate to. I call it the sandwich stage. Which means I have my like parents who now need care and also still kids at home. So I'm in this weird like middle aged like my mom called yesterday because she can't get Amazon prime on her TV and I'm like oh my God, now I gotta go there and like she lives an hour away to, to set up. I've already set it up.
- [52:11]
B
Up.
- [52:12]
A
What button did you hit on the remote? Like this is like a daily thing, you know, or taking her to her appointments or helping her. She has needs to hang a mirror and and so she requires a lot of me and I still have little kids at home too that also require me. So. So interesting. Yeah, there's so many different obstacles and challenges that we. And just like stuff we deal with no matter what stage we're in. So that's so good.
- [52:37]
C
Good.
- [52:38]
A
I feel like I might break down all the stages. Stop it, Angela. I'm thinking thanks for your. Thanks for your message. It was awesome. And last but not least, let's hear from Julie.
- [52:49]
D
Hi Cass, this is Julie from Arizona. I am so grateful I found you about three years ago. I am a mom of eight children and I found you when I had six children still living at home. Plus we had a a foreign exchange student and I didn't quite realize how bad the clutter was until we had someone else living with us. And I kind of felt that embarrassment and anyway and wanted him to be able to walk into the pantry to find some food. So I googled how to organize your pantry and found the Clutterbug site. And anyway, it's all been amazing since then and you've totally helped me so much and I am just so grateful for it. And anyway, I am just wanted to share with you that I watch your YouTube channel while I do dishes in the evening. I fought that so long the evening routine because I was always so tired at night and had energy in the morning and so I just always kept telling myself that I'll just do it in the morning. But since I started doing that evening routine and watching your YouTube channel, which always makes me laugh and makes it more fun, it goes quickly and I'm so much happier the next morning when to wake up to a clean kitchen. I just absolutely love it. And then I also watch your YouTube channel while I'm on the rower. I try to work out after my kids go to school and. And that's always a fun thing to do. Also is to watch and laugh while I'm rowing. You know, not always something fun. Rowing isn't always fun. Working out I know isn't always fun, but it makes it way more fun to watch a YouTube channel. But then I listen to your podcast while I'm Dr. So I love. I always feel bad that I'm not able to do anything. But I'm driving so much when I drive my kids around and stuff that it's just I love being able to listen and it gets me motivated to do stuff when I get back home. And then when I am cleaning or organizing or whatever, I like to listen to Regency novels. So kind of like you, I like to listen to just zone out and that's really helped me. So anyway, thank you. Thank you so much for all you do. I so wish I would have found you 20 years ago, 15 years ago, whenever you started, because it would have been a lifesaver then. It's been a lifesaver now. And just thank you for all you do and for being there, being a support. I feel like you're my friend. I totally relate to you and think you're hilarious. Anyway, thank you so much.
- [55:27]
C
Bye.
- [55:28]
A
Thank you, Julie. We are friends and you're also, like, a badass queen. Eight kids and you're still finding time to work out. Calm down, Julie. Calm down. Save some awesomeness for the rest of us. Seriously, that's incredible. I'm so curious listening to how some of you have found me. I always assumed all of you kind of watch on YouTube and that's how you've discovered Clutterbug, but I know the podcast is like its whole own thing. A lot of you listen in the car. That's surprising. I feel bad for always telling you to declutter while you're driving in the car. Car. Sorry about that. My bad. But I am curious how you found Clutterbug, how you found the podcast. Are you watching this podcast on YouTube? Are you listening? Let me know. I'm, I'm. I'm really curious of, like, the discoverability part. You know, I talked earlier about finding the flow, and that writing in my gratitude journal has been so life changing. Thank you to all those therapists that I dismissed. But so cool, because tomorrow's video is actually all about gratitude. And I'm listing 35 things that I am so grateful for. And some of them are weird and just basic. Like, I'm really grateful I can touch my toes. Did you know a large percentage of the population cannot touch their toes without bending their knees? True story. Try it right now. And if you can touch your toes, be grateful. Also, I'm sharing some things that would make, I. I think great gift ideas. Just really simple things that make me happy. And I'm just so, so grateful that I have them in my life. Of course, I'm also grateful for, like, family and friends and health, but, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the other stuff? That's what I'm sharing in tomorrow's video. And don't forget, this is your last chance to submit yourself for the first ever clutterbug contest called Storage Wars. If you have a storage locker or a storage room in your house that you want to take back, man, you want to take back control, you want to pay less money, you want to save money, you want to have more space Submit to makeoverlutterbug.com Submit some photos or a short video and you will be entered to win me. You win me with a bow on my head. No, no. We're gonna have like virtual coaching and I'm gonna kick your butt and yell at you and make you do awesome stuff stuff. So I hope I get to work with you. Let me know how the trash bag therapy went. You're getting things out. I also hope you enjoyed just thinking about your natural tendencies. So many different things. Take the four tendencies quiz. Gretchen Rubin Take the clutterbug quiz. Absolutely. What's your love language? What's your Myers Briggs? All of the what's your Hogwarts house? I am a Hufflepuff. No one's surprised. But all of these things are self awareness and knowing yourself is the first step to knowing what's hard and how to eliminate it to reduce friction and have an easier more amazeballs life. Okay, I'm going to let you go now. Love you guys and see you next week.