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Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast
Unpacking Life: Organizing for All of Its Phases | Clutterbug Podcast #305
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If your life has changed but your home hasn't, you're probably feeling stuck. You need to update your system or you're going to be stuck living in the past. Here's the thing. Your home is not a museum. It's a living organism. Like, as your life changes and evolves, your home needs to change and evolve, too. I've been getting so many submissions from you as part of the Talk to Cast segment for this podcast. You're recording these stories about how your life has changed and the different phases that you're in now and how your home isn't reflecting that. And I find this so fascinating. I've seen this in my own life. I think back to when I started this podcast. My first few episodes, like the first three in a row, were all about toy organization. That was the phase I was in. I was obsessed with, like, the kids and the clutter and all the things I had to do to just manage being a mom to small kids. That. That was all consuming during that phase of my life, and I can't even imagine that now. I don't even think we own a toy today, which is so bizarre to say the whole concept of the different phases and stages of life. I actually heard from you, one of you on the Talk to cast asked if I could do more content talking about the different stages. And I don't know why. I've never really even thought about this before. It's so strange. Probably because I feel like I've not really lived all the different stages. But, yeah, when I think back into how much my life, not only my life, but my home and how it's changed over the years, there really is, like, these different, you know, seasons. As dawn from the Minimal mom would say. She's so good at saying that. She's like, every season of your life changes, just like the seasons outside change. And we need to adapt our home for the current season we're in. So shout out to Angela from New York for her awesome message about the different phases and her message about the legacy of love. Your systems in your home, like your routines and your systems, they are kind of like seasons. Not seasons like outside the different seasons, but different seasons of life or phases of life. And the way you run your home and what you're using to keep it really functional is going to look very different depending on what phase or season that you're in. So right now, I think we should all just take a few seconds and try to identify our current season. Like, what does our life look like right now? Not Just our home. But what does our life look like right now? I think the best way to think about your current season is really to, like, identify the top line, maybe energy or your main role right now in this season. So are you a caregiver to young children? Are you a caregiver to old, aging parents? Are you working from home? Are you feeling really frazzled with all of the balls you have to juggle? I'm in this weird phase of life where, like, I'm the main breadwinner and I'm running a business. What I used to have the. My only goal was, like, caregiver and raising small children. That was my only focus. Now I have this completely different season that. And we talked a little bit before in another podcast about, like, masculine and feminine energy. Not boy girl stuff, but, like, you know, this. This, like, dominant versus nurturing energy. And I do feel in this current phase that I'm more of like, like, girl, total girl boss phase of my life, which means everything has to be running a little different in my home. It has to be restructured to make room for that. I'm also in the sandwich phase of my life, which I didn't know was a thing. I actually heard this at a conference. I was. Some brilliant woman was talking about this phase of your life when you still have children at home that need you, also have aging parents that need you. So you're kind of like, parenting your parents and also parenting your children while also trying to, like, parent yourself and figure out life. And it's. It's a bizarre season of life to be in that, again, requires real adjustment to your home and. And just how you're living your life in order to be able to manage it all. Just like always, before we get started, I want you to take action on something in your home. Christmas is creeping up. Okay, friends, it is right the corner. So here's what I want you to focus on. I want you to declutter two areas that your guests are going to maybe notice. And even if you don't have guests, this will change your life and just make life easier. The first is your bathroom, especially the bathroom where guests go. I don't know if they're going to be peeking in your medicine cabinet or your drawers, but they might. They might. So go in there. Get rid of those yucky old toothbrushes and the toothpaste tube that has nothing left, and it's all over the place. Get rid of the old medication bottles or expired vitamins. It's to go. And the second place I really want you to focus on is in your kitchen. Just make your life a little bit easier and find five things in your kitchen to go. That's it. Five things. Maybe it's the fondue set. Please, for the love of Peter, do not have a fondue set. And if you do, it's leaving. Maybe it's your salad spinner. You don't need that. You definitely do not need two turkey roasting pans. And this is the time of year where you use it. So like it's use it or lose it kind of thing. There is a ton of stuff in your kitchen that's just making it a little too crowded, which means cooking and baking and just entertaining is harder. So spend five minutes and let go of five things in your kitchen right now. And then after that, just catch up, man. Maybe a little vacuuming. You and I can hang out while you hoover. Whatever. Make yourself proud. You deserve a clean home. And at the end of this podcast, I want you to celebrate how far you've come. All right, so, you know, let's break down the different phases and see if you can really identify the one that you're in currently. We'll start with the solo starter. We've all been there. You know, when you get maybe your first apartment or you go away to school, you're in a dorm room even like, I don't know, I had some pretty. I had a tent when I first started. I digress. This is where we are. Full scarcity mindset. My first place, I had absolutely nothing. I was sleeping, like in a sleeping bag and then scrounging for furniture that I found on the side of the road. I was lucky to have change to buy a box of craft dinner. We are just getting by, but we are so happy to be out of our parents home, you know what I'm saying? We're just happy to be independent and we're starting to like dream of the next phase of our lives. So here's my advice for this phase, or you know, advice not just about what your home should look like in the organization, because that's really hard to do, but kind of your structure of your life. This is the phase that we always want to jump past. You know, we're like, we got the credit card, let's buy the nice furniture, let's like somehow artificially get to the next phase as quickly as possible. And I think this should be like, I'm just gonna save my pennies. I'm going to embrace that. My side tables are milk crates that I picked the Trash. I am going to live with what I have and slowly scrounge and save for the next phase. Because when we try to skip a phase, that's just a recipe for disaster. We're literally like, just a slave to debt and always behind. So that's my advice. If you're already like, hey, I already did the things and bought everything with ho ho ho, the payments on credit, how do we get out of that? We focus on just one foot in front of the other. So that means just getting the basic adulting routines down, doing the dishes every day, doing laundry every day, paying our bills once a week, making these, like, concrete adult schedules that we can follow that will carry us through till we're old and gray and just make life easier. Because if we can do it when we're young, it's just going to make every phase of life a little bit easier. And in this phase, in this, like, solo starter phase, you probably don't have a lot, but you also don't have a lot of space. So we have to be selective. There's basically like four core areas that you need, which is a place to sleep, a place to work, a place to eat, and a place to relax. And we need the things that really support that. So we probably need a bed or a mattress. We need a table to eat on. We definitely need food. Maybe you need a little place to put your computer. You probably need a compute. What you don't need is all the toys from when you were a kid. What's really funny is when Joe and I moved out, he had never lived on his own before we. We moved in together, we bought a home, and he brought totes and totes of model cars that he had painted as a child. He also brought, like, tiny toys, old books. He brought textbooks from when he was in university. He had, you know, hockey cards that he had collected when he was 8 years old and had never looked at again. And you didn't really have space. So he brought from his childhood phase, he carried all of that with him when a lot of that could have been decluttered. Now, I'm not suggesting you have to get rid of everything from every phase, but in order to make room for the next phase and all the phases after that, we have to declutter some of the things from the previous season. And that's just the way it goes. I think what a lot of people do during this phase that I would want to caution you about, and if you are in the solo starter phase, you're not going to want to listen, but I'm going to say it anyways. There is this expectation that we just have to like fast forward to done. So we got our first place and we immediately want to go to Ikea or Target or Walmart and buy a bunch of junk to fill it up, right? Things that maybe aren't us because maybe we don't even know who we are yet. And when you take the time to discover yourself, to find things slowly, to slowly furnish or fill up your home in a way that's really representative of your likes and, and the things that just bring you joy, that's how you start to build those, you know, stepping stones to the rest of your life. So for me, I was in the solar solo starter phase for a long time. I left home at 15, 15 and I didn't get married until I was 26. So I had years and years of just like scrounging and just struggling with my solo bad self. But then we move to the next phase, which is family phase. And this is like the most crazy, amazing, but also fast phase of life. This is where you get engaged and then you're excited, you're planning a wedding and then you get married and then you're like, I'm having a baby. And then you're buying your first home. This is when you get your first minivan. And then before you know it, you're just like, I must collect all the baby things and you have baby clothes and you're just having conversations about how your nipples hurt while you're breastfeeding. And the world is different, okay? In family phase, there is crushed up goldfish crackers every freaking wear. And you never leave the house without a diaper and a spare change of clothing because you've learned that lesson, you know what I mean? You're starting to like prepare, you're starting to set up a home. It's like you've now got a spot for the nose sucker, snot thing, bubble thing in your kitchen because you need it. And so things start to fill up very quickly. But you also start realizing like you're in survival mode a little bit here. And your home has to have this level of chaos. It's unavoidable. And so you're just like, you're just, your organization is just like bins to catch things and just this, I need this stuff right here because this is where I change my kids diaper, even though it's on the floor of the living room kind of thing. It's a crazy phase. I, I fast forward this phase, too, because the first thing, usually part of the family phase, is like, your little family of two. Maybe you've moved in with your significant other, and you're both bringing the things you already had, and now you're combining it into one space. Whether you're, you know, consolidating into one apartment that one of you already live in or you've bought a home, and now you're, like, putting both stuff in. And it can be really amazing, but also very stressful. So how do you do this? How do you make this work? And honestly, it all comes down to zoning. Everybody needs zones in their home, but you also need private zones, too. So if you have one closet, what half is for one spouse, what half is the other? And we don't encroach on theirs. If you have an office space, where is their work stuff? Where is your work stuff going to go? Coming up with these kind of outline rules of the home is so important. In the kitchen, who's going to do most of the cooking? If it's you, what's your organizing style? You should probably organize the spices and the things to match you and your style. And where are the things that you're both going to touch every day? Like, which area is that? And how do you know both of your organizing styles? And how can you make those compromises so that your home works for both of you? This definitely is, like, such an awesome but also stressful time. But if you can set these kind of roadmaps for yourself right in the beginning, the rest of your life will be easier. The last thing you should do during this phase is both of you to just pack up everything you own and try to cram it without a plan. Like, you need a zoning plan. You need to know, okay, this is where both of our coats and shoes are going to go. Is there enough for both of them? If not, we have to organize for the space, not our stuff. We have to decide, okay, you get six pairs of shoes, and I get six pairs of shoes, and you get three coats, and I get three coats and then declutter to then make it work right before you even. And if you're like, I already moved in, it's too late. That ship has sailed, Cass. And it's never too late to declutter. It's never too late to still look at your space, to zone, to come up with rules based on the container of how much will fit in it and to compromise so that everyone wins. When you are just moving in, when you're combining two households, into one. Even if it's two solo starters coming together for a little baby family phase, there's duplicates. Maybe you both had a potato masher, now you have two. You both had a can opener, now you have two. Double the lamps, double the books, double the sheets, double the towels. And this is the time where we have to declutter the excess. Because even though there's two of you now, we do not need two can openers and two potato mashers, right? So go through and get rid of those simple duplicates to make sure that you have not only room for this phase, but the next phase to come. This is where you want to do your first big life declutter, really, because before you know it, you're going to have 2.5 kids and a golden retriever added onto there. You are going to be drowning in the chaos of life. Set yourself up for success when you have the time and the energy now and let go of all the things from solar starter and from childhood phase that aren't serving you anymore, that aren't adding value to your life in your current phase and get it out to make room for all the phases to come. I definitely don't want to forget about the single people who are moving past the solo starter phase into their like city girl phase or boy. We don't judge here. But the phase where you are still a single income but you're starting to earn more and you're leveling up your life, you're able to, you know, acquire nicer things. This is really the phase of your life where I think it's important to focus on those self care. You probably tend to be a bit of a workaholic and maybe it's even a work hard, play hard or you're like me and you're just like, I never like to leave the house and you want this safe sanctuary to come back to. You want something that not only is a reflection of you and that makes you really proud of your home in your space, but also recharges your battery. This is important. And yes, that also means just like the family phase, decluttering the thing from the past phase that is draining, that is maybe the those extra things that you're just managing for the sake of managing but aren't adding value to your life. Those are things that can declutter and making room for maybe a little library, a reading nook, an exercise area in your home. What are things that feel like nurturing to you and how can you make room for those in your home? Also this Is the time to discover hobbies. Like, what do you actually love to do? Try all the hobbies when you're in this phase of life. Try knitting and crocheting, maybe painting, taking a cooking class. And yum. You might have to acquire some of the things to go with these hobbies. Again, this is the time where you're figuring out what works for you and what doesn't. I will caution anyone in the city girl phase, you've got some extra spending money and it feels good to buy, but it can very quickly get out of hand. And so providing yourself inventory limits and rules in this phase of your life is actually really helpful. So we talked about hobbies, and you're like, I want to try all the things. I think this is amazing. But where do your hobby supplies live? How much space do you have? If you have one shelving unit or one closet, you can only keep what fits in there. And this also goes for clothing, my friends, and shoes. Because again, this is a phase of our life where we're collecting, you know, we're gathering the things that really make us happy. But it can very quickly become out of control. And if we're moving to another phase of our life, there is no room for that phase. Plus no extra spending money because we spent it all on shoes. So giving ourselves limits just leaves the door open for new opportunities. I think that's the point of every phase. We need to always keep a little bit of room and never, like, fill ourselves full for the next phase to come. With the family phase, when you have small kids, I think the one thing there's multiple things that I wish families of young kids knew was that children are actually happier with less stuff and that they are more creative with less stuff. They're more resilient, they're more appreciative with less stuff. More toys equals spoiled, overwhelmed, troubled teens. I just believe that maybe that's not true in every case. But I do think there's something really magical about kids being like, oh, my gosh, I just gonna play with this cardboard backs and markers and not being so overwhelmed with 20, 000 toy sets everywhere. There's no room for that creativity. I'm gonna just say this one other thing too. Kids don't like those dumb wooden educational games. There, I said it. Every parent buys it. Why? Because we're like, our kid's not gonna have a screen and we're not gonna. We're gonna give them these educational brain development kids don't play with those. They're just mess makers that you have to keep setting up and you've wasted your money on the Melissa and Doug stuff. I said what I said. I said what I said, you know what kids really want? Markers and paper and just to be a little wild. I feel like. Is this Cass's old lady wisdom time? Sure. The one thing I wish that, like the single, I've got some income, extra income, person knew is that your dollar right now in your pocket is worth $20 later. Like, I wish someone had really explained to me that that pair of shoes that you're spending $50 on could be five do hundred dollars for you when you really need it in the future. I wish I would have saved more. And I didn't see money as something that made money. I didn't see it as a tool. I thought money was something I earned, that I then traded for things. And this really became a cycle for me where I would, like, get money and I would trade it for things, and I would trade it for things, traded for things. And now I have, like a house filled with things. No actual money. I'm drowning in clutter and I'm miserable. And if we can stop this cycle before it starts, if we can really embrace, like this minimalism lifestyle, young, we're never going to struggle, not only with clutter, but financially either, because buying the stuff is keeping us broke. Okay, so now let's talk about school, age, season. So our kids aren't babies. They're not toddlers anymore. They're. They're going to school every day. They are joining sports. They're doing gymnastics and maybe hockey and, and soccer, and they're going to friends birthday parties every freaking Saturday. For some reason, suddenly, you're chauffeuring children everywhere. But your home is also filled with not only your hobby and extracurricular things and, and your spouses, but now your children's. Oh, my gosh, they got the gear, the sports gear. They have the uniforms that have to be washed and cleaned for the next thing. They have all the forms that are coming home from school and the report cards and the. The artwork, and it's chaos. And you are so busy. You are coming home from work to quickly make a meal, to then rush out the door to some extracurricular children's activity to come home to do bedtime, to do lunches, to literally, if you're lucky, get a load of laundry and then fall into bed and do the same thing all the next day. This is the part of our life where our house is so full because you probably still have starter Family phase stuff. You probably still have the baby stuff. Maybe you moved it to the basement or the attic, but now you've piled on, on top of that. You, you know, you went from strollers to backpacks and bicycles. And it's not so if we haven't decluttered the phase before, there just isn't space. And I, I recently went to a client's house, Sabrina, that she has an 18 month old, she's talking second baby and her front hall closet is bursting with just hers and her husband's clothes and like coats and shoes. And I'm looking at it thinking right now is the time, where are you going to put the backpack? Where are you going to put their sporting equipment? Where are you going to put, you know, the school papers that are coming in? Like this is, this is so much extra stuff that we weren't prepared for that we had no idea even existed in any other phase. But we need it desperately in this phase. This for me, I made a command center just for my kids school with like a place to put their school papers and reminders. They had little money that when it was like day that they went to school and they had to bring $5 to Like Wear a hat and get pizza, you know, I had places for backpacks and I had a whole system set up for their hockey gear where it could be dried in the garage, which means we had to declutter a bunch of other stuff to make room for that. But I had to adapt my home for this new busy, hectic, chaotic season of life. This is also the phase of life where I tried to set up systems in my home for my kids. So we had a kids cupboard where they could go and like empty the dishwasher and set the table with their own dishes. We had a snack station where they could prepare their own snacks. We had a lunch making station with all the kids, everything they needed to pack a lunch all together so that they could be independent, so that they could start doing things without asking mom and dad for help. And we had to set up a home to work for that. It also meant like they couldn't reach the hangers in the closet to put away their own coat. So we had to hang hooks really nice and low and a special hook for their backpack that could hold the weight of a million books because you know, if, you know, you know, we had to adapt our home so that I didn't have to constantly pick up after them and my husband didn't have to. They could, could easily have their own systems and Routines and their own organization. We got rid of the dressers and opted for Calyx systems with big bins where my kids could toss away their clothes without folding so they could put away their own laundry and get dressed by themselves in the morning too. All of these things require space. They require you to look at your house a little bit differently and adapt it for your new needs, which are school age children. For me, there was kind of like two different school seasons. There was when my kids were little, you know, all the way till grade 8. And then things started changing when they went into high school. And it was this, I feel like was one of the hardest phases for me because my kids, first of all no longer wanted toys and yet we had toys everywhere. They no longer played with Barbies and for years match cars and all the puzzles and all the toys we had. And yet it was still in the house. I mean, I hadn't fully decluttered yet. But also this is a phase where instead of having like big stuff, all they want is little stuff like screens. And they also don't want to spend time with you. They don't, they want to hang out with their friends. They, they don't want to have family game night with you all the time. And they don't want to, they want to like have their own independent life. And I just remember there being many nights where, I mean, Milo's just going into high school now, but with the girls it was like, like, what am I going to do with myself? Suddenly they could even help make dinner and clean up and pick up after themselves. And I was left with way more time for me to start dedicating to other things in my life that I didn't have time for before, like new hobbies. And I started getting like really into work and getting more passionate about my career and growing that because finally I had the capacity, I had the space. And I also had now extra space in my home too. Well, because I decluttered, which is why it's really important in this phase when your kids are now going from young children to adults, they're, they're teenagers. Declutter the things from the school season, the young school season, because this is your time to start really rediscovering you. And they're also rediscovering them. And so you're going to need space for that. You're going to need room. You're going to have extra room in your schedule. So you're going to need extra room in your home too. So what about if you don't have children, but you're still in this phase of life, like late 30s, early 40s even, all the way to your 50s. And like you're, you've like come places in your career. You know, you're no longer just like that intern or just starting out. You have real responsibilities at work now. You have, you're managing things. You, you like, are like put on your big girl pants and you're doing big girl things. And this can lead to burnout. There's a lot of things, a lot of balls that you're juggling in the air and you're trying to like manage in your brain and externally. So this is why it's really important to make sure that your home is still, that, that sanctuary. Your home is still easy. Your home doesn't feel like a part time job. After you come home from your full time job and you're already exhausted, which means decluttering the stuff that isn't serving you. So you have less to manage. But it also means setting up systems. So when you usually just like come home and you drop your coat on the floor because you're exhausted, you're dropping it on a hook. Instead of kicking your shoes off, you're kicking them into a basket.
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So at least your robot vacuum that you better have, okay, you better have one, isn't going to get stuck on the shoelaces. This is a way to automate your life so that it is on autopilot so that you can really focus on the things that matter whether you have kids or not in your life. This is such a good time to focus on eliminating friction. This like age of our life where we're wiser and we can see. Oh my gosh, every time I want to go make myself dinner, I have to wash the pan because I didn't wash it the night before. Friction, friction. So now I'm just ordering takeout, right? So how can we adapt it so we remove that friction? Even something as simple as like opening a lid to put something away that you use every day. So you're just setting it on the counter because that's a pain in the butt and you just don't have the capacity to do that after a long day. How can we just remove the lid or maybe remove the doors entirely off the cabinet or off the closet? It's about changing things so that it's a one or two step process so that our life feels easy at home. Next, let's talk about the boomerang phase. This is so fascinating to me. I feel Like, I'm right on the cusp of this. So Izzy goes to college, but she still lives at home. And Abby will be going away to university next, next year and she'll be moving and she wants to move as far as possible. What's crazy about this phase is you have kids who have gone away to school, but they're still coming home in the summers for Reading Week. Like they still technically live kind of at your house or they're going to, or you have to leave the door open with the possibility that like, even if they have moved out, they might not be able to stay out. So they're boomeranging back to you. So we feel like, okay, well that's still their room and their stuff, but we're also just storing it just in case. And when does it get to the point where we no longer need to do that? And I think this is where a lot of parents are struggling with this like, gray phase. So a really good example. I'm just gonna say it. Joe's brother moved out to go to school and then moved back home, and then moved out again, moved in with someone, they broke up, moved back home, then moved out again, got married, had a child, got divorced, moved back home. And he's in this state of flux where Joe's parents still have a bedroom for him and still store his son's things there too, just in case. You never know. Like, they're still living in this, like, limbo where wouldn't it be nice to have this space for us? But we don't really know. And their son is in his 40s, so it's difficult to say, like, where's the cutoff? Where's the end when we can finally say their stuff can go. And I think it really does come down to the container concept. This is like, once they're done school, we can really start looking at the container concept and saying, okay, yeah, they haven't got a place yet. I have some extra things that maybe they'll want one day when they're older. But it has to fit in this one closet or on this one shelf. Because allowing yourself to, to devote 15 or 20 or 25% of a home to someone who's not there is ridiculous. You are the most important person in your home and it has to be set up up for you. It doesn't mean you have to get rid of it all, because that maybe is not nice. But it's okay to like get a pull out couch and turn it into a reading room that can also double as A guest room when your kids come to stay, or saying, I'm gonna actually make this my dream yoga studio. When you come, I'll have this other like futon that you can stay on or an inflatable mattress and your stuff is in the closet. It, it's okay to stand up for yourself and start taking back some of your home for you. I, I can see why this is a really, really tough phase of life because you don't want to offend your children. And also, like, when is the appropriate time? I'm thinking about Izzy. She obviously is going to be living here for a while, but Abby wants to go away to school. I can't imagine like immediately clearing out her space and making a yoga studio. And then she comes home for Christmas break and, and feels like she doesn't. This isn't still her home. I think it's really important for me anyways, I'm only speaking for me that my kids always know that this is their home and they always have a place here. But I don't need to dedicate it to a hundred percent of them when they're not here 100% of the time. So keeping a place for them to sleep and a place maybe for their memories to go until they have a place of their own to take them. So, so important. But having a real conversation with Abby and saying, hey, like, I wish I had a private place to do yoga, so I'm gonna get you a Murphy bed instead so I can do yoga while you're at school. Of course she wouldn't be upset by that. I also think this phase of life is really emotional for parents, maybe especially the mom. But I think both parents, our identity is a mom. And when our kids leave suddenly it's like, well then who am I and what am I good for and what am I going to do with my time? And so we, we can kind of want to hold on to the things from the previous phases, especially the kids things so that we're reminded of that phase because it feels like a part of our identity. But what really happens is we're not leaving room for the next phase. My stepmom, I hope she's not listening to this. I was her first baby. She came into my life when I was two and a half. And then she had two kids of her own, two boys, she was a stay at home mom. Both of them have moved out years ago, like over a decade. She has been like an empty nester well over a decade. And she still keeps all their toys and she still like hasn't moved. She doesn't have other hobbies. She just like hopes they call today, you know, looks back through books of memories for of the childhood. It's. It's like she's stuck. She's stuck and hasn't moved past. Because it hurts so much to think that that part's over. But hurting doesn't make it any less over. Right? It's not going to bring it back. She's just missing out on this phase. This phase where she could be volunteering or she could be, I don't know, traveling or she could be creating hobbies or painting or doing pottery classes. But there's no room for that. It's a museum. To her former days of a stay at home mom. That got slightly depressing for just a second. But listen, it's also an awesome phase because you're free, girl. You are free to do whatever you want. This is the I don't care phase. This is the it doesn't matter. I can do you wanna be a balloon animal artist? You can do that. You don't have to be home to tuck kids in at 9. You are free. Like we craved this when we were in in the thick of it in the family, in the school season of our lives. We would like daydream about this. I remember literally, like, I hope I get like bronchitis. Just bad enough to go to the hospital, but not bad enough to kill me so I can have a day off. If you're dreaming of illness to get a break. This you have. This you have. You. You're not even ill. You're in great shape. Make the most of it. Get exactly excited about tomorrow because the possibilities are endless. This moves us into the final phase. I'm going to try to put a positive spin on this phase. This is the downsizing phase which I still think can be incredibly powerful. My mom recently became a widow and is called a widow if you're a girl.
- [37:23]
C
Yeah, it is.
- [37:25]
A
My mom just recently became a widow. My stepfather passed away and she had a big house in the country with an acre property, a huge in ground pool. There was so much grass to cut and so much yard work and flower beds and things to clean and the garages to take care of. She decided to downsize and she got a beautiful little space, incredible backyard with a garden. But it's all really manageable for her and to talk to her. She wishes she would have done this while my stepdad was still alive. Like she wishes she would have downsized sooner because what a smaller space Means is way less stuff, not only like physical stuff to manage, like the home and the yard and the grass, but less stuff inside the home to manage too. Which means she's now volunteering at a nursing home. She is going out with friends. She joined this other group of women that are in their 70s and 80s and they go to the Legion and she's taking an Uber home because she's intoxicated. I'm like, get it, mom? She's been asked out on many dates, okay? She's going to the movies, she's going to craft shows. She is living this like amazing life that she wasn't living before because she had too much to manage. The day to day stuff was just way too much to manage. The laundry, the cleaning, the grass, cutting, the vacuuming, the pool, all of it. It doesn't seem like a lot, but it all added up to a very full day. And now that she's downsized, she has room in her day for so many other new incredible things. She's talking about doing pickleball, joining pickleball. This woman has not worked out since I've known her, okay, 46 years, not known her to do anything. And this just makes me so happy. She's going to the library, she's reading books. Like, I can't tell you how incredible it is to see this very full life that she's living because she let go of the physical things. I do also think this downsizing season is so important because this is where you get to decide what you want to pass on to other people. Where is it going to go? Not only like, yeah, the stuff in your house, but also your money. Like really start thinking about wills and power of attorneys and like end of life. You're young, okay, you're young. But when you have the capacity now, this is the time to think about it. And I cannot tell you, I will say, I'm just going to say it as your friend and I love you, but I have had a ton of clients that have hired me after their loved one have passed away because they were so overwhelmed and burdened by the clutter and the mess that their loved one left them. And they weren't even sure what was important. They had no idea there was so much stuff. They didn't know any or their memories attached is what is special, what isn't. They didn't have memory bins, they didn't have messages written of what was important and what should stay. They didn't declutter so that everything just felt like mess. And nine times out of 10, we hire an auction house to come in and clear everything out. And the family is left with nothing really special to take away because they have no idea what's actually special. Now is the time for you to identify what is special. What do you want your children to have? And can you pass it to them now? Like, see them enjoy it, tell them the stories behind it, and let go of all the extra stuff that's just going to be a burden for them? Because you do not want your legacy to be a garage filled with crap. Just think of it like this. You get to curate your legacy. Maybe you have things you do not want your children stumbling upon. Now is the time to let it go, okay? Now is the time to get it out. Now, maybe you have things that are so important that they know. Like you have your great grandmother's ring in your jewelry box. But if you haven't told them, if you haven't shown them, if you haven't given it to them, how could they possibly know? And pass that down. So take time. Curate these memories now. Talk to your family. Have them come in and let go of the things that don't matter. This is the phase of your life where you are a minimalist, where you are really strict on what is important and what isn't, and you're only keeping the best of the best because we cannot take any of it with us, but we have to pass it all on to the person we love the most. This is also the time where you're going to see the impact of decluttering more than any other phase in your life, because every single thing you get rid of equals time. It does. Everything you own, you have to give time to, and everything you let go of, you gain time back. And what is the most important thing that you can't buy? It's time. It's precious. And make the most of it and give yourself the most of it by letting go of as much as possible of the physical stuff. If you really want to earn a gold star in this phase of your life, make sure that you write down all the memories. Like literally having a memory notebook where you're writing down all these, like, wonderful things that you never want to forget and you want to make sure your family doesn't forget, write it down. Matt Paxton calls this the legacy. He Sundays everyone has five, like, key things or stories in their life that they should pass down. Sit and write those down. And also make sure you have passwords for everything somewhere. Joe tells me all the time he's like gas, all the important passwords. I have them for you in this special book. And this is where the. And I forget I have. No, I couldn't tell you. I'd have to tear the whole house apart. He's hidden it somewhere and he keeps showing me again and I immediately forget. So maybe make it somewhere that's obvious enough they can find it, but not too obvious for like burglars and stuff. Now it's time for my favorite part of the podcast. Talk to Cass. And we're going to start with Stephanie.
- [43:49]
B
Hi, Cass. My name is Stephanie and I live in the uk. I am a relatively new listener. I came across your podcast actually only this year. I'm dismayed that I did not find it sooner, but I just wanted to say a big thank you. I am someone that has always been a chronic procrastinator. I'm someone that has to organize from scratch all the time, which therefore means I don't do it. And so listening to your ethos and all your tips and tricks, I've got so many more episodes to catch up on has been so helpful. And bit by bit I am trying to sort out my house. I've lost both my parents in the last five or, yeah, five years. And so have amazing. Amassed a lot of stuff that's not just mine, it's obviously theirs and it's, you know, got sort of emotional value as well. But I'm doing my best to let go of that. And I've also had a baby this year who's now eight months old, so trying to deal with all of the clutter and crap that come with having a baby. But one of the favourite parts of my day is it's become a non negotiable to tidy my kitchen before I go to bed, even if that is at midnight. And there are many nights where I just can't be bothered to do it. And what I do is I stick on one of your podcast episodes and I just get it done. So the rest of my house might still look like a bomb site, but at least every morning, almost mornings I come down, up actually we have an upside down house but I come up to a clean kitchen and that makes a real difference to the start of my day. So yeah, really looking forward to taking on more tips, sorting out my house bit by bit, doing things shitty, that definitely suits me down to the ground. But yeah, I just wanted to say thank you from over the pond in the uk.
- [45:34]
A
Thank you, Stephanie. I love that. Yeah, never going to bed with a messy kitchen changed my Life. It was. I think that's the most impactful, non negotiable habit I've ever had and I need non negotiable. It has to be like hard rules or I will just procrastinate and well do it tomorrow. It's life changing and I'm so happy to hear you're having the same impact on your home too. That also really reminds me of this stage of your life where you end up with a lot of things from your parents who have passed on or loved ones who have passed on. That's a really interesting. And it's uncomfortable and like, yeah, it's tough. It's a stuff. It's a tough phase because you have to weed out what's worthy of earning space in your home and be brave enough to say, even though this was important to my parents, I don't need to keep the physical object to keep their memory. So I'm proud of you, Stephanie. And keep going. Now we're going to hear from Jimena.
- [46:39]
D
Hi Cass, this is Jimena. I love your content. Been watching for a couple years and it's been so helpful. We just recently moved and I've decluttered a lot and everything, but where I've been getting stuck is with paper. So from watching you, I kind of think I have a system I want to implement moving forward, you know, with the command center and just putting everything from next year into a box, a memory bin and you know, things like that. So. But my question is I tend to go very detailed or in the past I used to and never really was able to successfully execute that. So I had bought this huge cabinet organizer, filing cabinet and I put a thousand tabs in there and I thought I was gonna just go through every single piece of paper and put it in a different tab, but that never happened. So now I just have this huge filing cabinet, but I'm willing to get rid of it.
- [47:39]
A
I just don't know what to do.
- [47:40]
D
With my past information. Maybe I just throw it in random boxes, I don't know. But if you have any suggestions for simple, easy, not super detailed way of organizing my past paperwork, that would be great. Thank you.
- [48:00]
C
You.
- [48:02]
A
Yeah, I do have advice. This is so good and I know it feels so overwhelming because you probably have files from 15 years ago and it's like, oh, it's so daunting. So here is what's really helpful, having predetermined categories and here's really good predetermined categories for old paperwork. Important. I still have to keep shredding and then like I should deal with this or memory kind of thing, you know what I mean? Three, three. And then you just, you just grab and you go. You're like yeah, that's important. Keep, keep, keep, keep. Important. We don't put into this is important but this is taxes. This is important but this is blah blah blah. Because that stops the progress. As soon as our brain starts thinking about what pile we should put something in. It's like decision fatigue. That's all we can think about. So we're just sorting like this. I probably should keep, keep forever. And you're gonna be amazed. That shred pile is going to be to the freaking moon man. And your keep pile is going to be itty bitty tiny. So then if you want to go back and micro organize it, it'll be like lickety splitty fast. So that's my advice is just, just do the thing, put on a movie, gather your paperwork, have three piles and get at her. Now we have a question from the Netherlands.
- [49:23]
C
Hi, this is Neleke from the Netherlands. I have been working through your 30 day declutter for quite some time now and it's been really, really great. I've got lots of stuff that has left my house. I have got a question about my 13 year old son. He is autistic and has a really hard time letting go of stuff he holds onto pieces of paper, empty toilet rolls, stuff like that. Projects he did like five years ago. And every time I try to help him to clean out his room, he fights me on every step. I am hoping you've got some tips for me to make it a little bit easier because I really thought the idea it is physically hurting him to get rid of this stuff and I don't want his room to change into one of those hoarders situation patience. So love you for all you do and keep on being awesome. Bye bye.
- [50:28]
A
Okay, I have really, I do have advice. So doing the yes no method, especially with people who are like really? Oh, that's scary to let go is my favorite method but might not work in this situation. Instead what I would recommend is the shop your stuff strategy which is you go in and you gather things that you're pretty sure he doesn't need to keep. Like you're, you're pretty sure the toilet paper rolls and the scrap pieces of paper can go and you're gathering them into a box or a pile in a different room. This is what's important. Taking it out of the space that it currently lives in into another space. And then invite your son to come and say, well, first show him the space that's like now less overwhelming and is great. They're like, yay, look at your room. Doesn't it look so great? Okay, now let's come shop your stuff. You're going to see all the things laid out that you've pretty much decided they probably don't need to keep. And then ask him, is there anything here that's really special that you do want to keep? He will pick things, okay? He will find a few things so it feels like good because you get to pick what stays instead of goes. But the majority of it, it, he'll be okay to let go of. So it's teaching children that decluttering isn't scary. It actually feels positive. And then you get to enjoy a clutter free space. While I prefer the yes, no method, I do think that this would be something that would be very helpful for you in getting started on your decluttering journey with your son. I hope you are so proud of yourself. Whatever you got done today, I hope I didn't depress any of you. I mean, thanks. It was a roller coaster of emotion for this one. But yeah, I mean, let's talk about it. We all get old, we all die, and that's just the reality of the situation. Let's be prepared, let's make the most of every moment and let's stop focusing so much on these crappy, trivial little dopamine hits of buying garbage from Walmart and Amazon, and let's really focus on living the best life we possibly can. Everything we declutter is more time. And you deserve a home that just nurtures you, recharges you, and is a reflection of who you want to be. Thank you guys so much and I'll see you next time.